A young woman wakes up in a cellar and must find her way out while avoiding a dude in a GI Joe mask.

Cross-cutting between silently skulking around a big ass cellar with multiple corridors and poorly shot flashbacks to an addiction support program meeting may sound riveting on paper (or it at least presumably did the makers of this) but it does not make for a very interesting watch. While the lead tries to sell the tension, when you…

"I dont want a stuffed animal and a bowl of popcorn, I want an AK and a wooden stake."

When a former soldier is enlisted to hunt the the literal Countess Bathory...I mean it really doesn't matter when you're dealing with a script like this.

Camptastic nonsense starring a bunch of has beens and almost weres. This script is absolute trash and I have no idea how they raised the $850k this thing looks like it cost to make. Terrible…