there’s just no way antonio banderas is that bad in bed

did he actually do any work during his internship like

We cum to this place for magic

i’ve watched actual porn with more compelling plotlines

terrible news: the babygirl is not harris dickinson

HARRIS DICKINSIDEHER

god forbid women have hobbies

Every scene is him telling her to do the most random, not-dangerous or exciting or even taboo thing, then her sighing and slapping her forehead and not really wanting to do it, and then them not really doing it. I should not be leaving a film like this thinking I'M sexier than the characters. Bad, bad. Go watch The Duke of Burgundy, Secretary, The Piano Teacher, Fatal Attraction, or honestly anything! The Land Before Time!

nothing better than two freaky bitches on the same freakuency

“good girl” BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDDDDD

Hey guys? Were we watching the same fucking movie?

not a dry seat in the house