-tag yourself i'm nicole kidman crying and then looking at her tears wondering what they are
-why is aquaman swimming in skinny jeans it just seems like a whole chaffing issue
-i cannot believe they want me to care about the villain's father ten minutes into the movie after watching them kill innocent people
-whomst does aquaman's tattoos
-willem dafoe on a fish
-i just really hate this underwater cinematography have we really not improved since the phantom menace
-there's already been three surprise explosions in the middle of a conversation. there have only been like four scenes. 
-if you're going to put jason mamoa in eyeliner at least make it waterproof y'all know he's going to be spending this whole movie in the ocean
-oh a pollution public service announcement good 
-if you look up manspreading in the dictionary you'll see a photo of jason mamoa
-ope there goes a fourth surprise explosion can y'all at least let people finish their conversations 
-imagine you're just laying out on a beach then you see willem dafoe with a man bun using a giant fork to poke at a kid with a tattoo sleeve 
-so the king of atlantis had to bang atlanta one more time and impregnate her and wait for her to have her child before he executed her. cute!
-the ring of fire set piece is pretty cool even though it's one big testosterone ego fight
-the fight between aquaman and his brother is like when you were in middle school and you'd take turns thumping pencils until one of them broke
-how long is this movie i feel like i've been here for ten hours
-A FIFTH SURPRISE EXPLOSION WHO WOULDA THUNK IT
-marvel can destroy the streets of new york all they want but dc destroying the ancient ruins of rome?? i think the hell NOT
-y'all two different couples just walked out of my theater 
-NO ONE WARNED ME THIS MOVIE WAS TWO AND A HALF HOURS. THAT IS ONE AND A HALF HOURS TOO LONG. 
-the trench set piece and monsters are super cool but i was too distracted by the logistics of a flame lasting that long under water 
-when he said "what's better than a king" we all know the correct answer was actually "a queen"
-i really hate poorly timed cinematic make out sessions
-wish i had been as invested the entire movie as i was the last 20 minutes. wish the rest of the movie looked as good as the last 20 minutes. 
-she just. appeared out of the ocean. in a glittery poncho. 
-when i said the last 20 minutes, it's important to note i meant the last 20 minutes before the slow motion reunion scene 
-i laughed at almost everything in the movie except for the jokes 
-i really didn't mean to have THIS MANY THOUGHTS about this movie but here we are. we made it through.