HOW DO I DE-DICK THIS DELICIOUS TREAT?

do you guys think it's worse to wear a fedora or kill fifteen people?

i just want to get to know you through task-based projects

one of the greats?? WRONG there is only ONE great and her name is chelsea peretti

chelsea peretti and jordan peele's child is going to be so comedically talented they're gonna destroy us all

IN THE FOLLOWING PHOTOGRAPH, I, CASSANDRA, AM NOT... WEARING..ANY....MAKEUUUUUUPPPPPPP

Jordan Peele is one lucky man!

Stand-up/Comedy Specials Ranked

one of the funniest stand up shows out there. id do what I did for kid gorgeous and compile a list of the best quotes but it’d just be the entire show so you might as well go watch it. chelsea please come back to me and do another I need it in order to keep going

sometimes i feel like if these walls could talk, they'd be like, "bitch, you're back in bed again!?"

i'm the girl at the beginning that security took away for trying to go up to the stage to give chelsea peretti gifts

her armpits are bone fuckin DRYYYYYYY

"I just wish that we didn't always have to live out our fantasies through tv and movies"

damn chelsea you didn't have to call me and all film twitter out like that