So, this lecherous old scientist -- well, botanist, really -- survives a plane crash in Uganda, hangs out with some local tribesmen, and adopts a monkey (this is all done offscreen, btw)... and then comes back to London, monkey baby in tow. You know, like you do.

Ah, little Konga. So cute. So innocent. So young.
So EXPLOITED!!!

Yeah, the scientist immediately has plans to start growing shit large around him, including man-eating plants... and, of course, little Konga. (Why not choose an eraser, or a bag of chips? Why start with the stuff that will KILL YOU IF IT GETS LARGE?!?!)

BUT... get a load of this NON-logic: when little Konga grows up... he turns from a real life chimpanzee into a full grown man in a gorilla suit!!!

What the fuck's the science on that Mr. Botanist!?!?

Then the botanist starts wanting to fuck young college co-eds and he uses NOT-SO-LITTLE KONGA as his hitman to knock off rivals. I mean, that's what Konga has become: A damn gorilla hitman for a horny old power-hungry idiot!!!

And - btw - we know not to trust this douche-turd of a scientist when he casually SHOOTS THE FAMILY CAT! The fuck, dude?

(You may have heard of the "Save The Cat" series of screenwriting books, labeled such in a way to get you to feel SYMPATHY for the hero... well, I ask you to say hello to a new series of screenwriting books entitled: "SHOOT THE CAT, YOU SICK FUCK". Might not be as popular, but you know...)

All that said... let me sheepishly say:

I did kinda enjoy this hokey horseshit-plot of a movie.
Doh!!!

Your mileage may vary... but I laughed (and commented) my way through it. So... fun was had.

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Hoop #02 of CINEMONSTER's Hooptober 11: The Return To Texas Because We Need That Extra Push Over The Cliff

My Really Odd List and Complete Set of Reviews can be found here: Slappy McGee's Hoop-Tober 11.0 List.

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