Slightly Hidden Horror Gems #106 | 2023 Favorites Ranked #2

Well, I don't know what film you other people are watching, because I just watched something extraordinary.

This film is harrowing as fuck, but if it doesn't harrow you that is entirely reasonable. This is not a film for everyone. If it is a film for you, you will know this within the first ten minutes, and before an hour has passed you will be experiencing something entirely deranged and wonderful. And if it's not for you, I think you will be switching films already.

A second test: if your idea of fun is not sitting down to watch a two-hour hybrid of ich seh, ich seh and mother!. and you don't fancy finding out why staring at the back of a couch for two or three minutes is an exercise in dread and disgust, and you do not wish to see angel pillow battles and learn to fear the Chinese spinning toy song–how is this even real?—then I would say pass this one up. Unless you need a reminder never to marry or get pregnant. Then I think absolutely you should force your way through it.

Okay so now I am speaking to the people for whom the above sounds like a great evening.

First and foremost: do not listen to the dub. It will make you hate living. Spanish and subtitles please.

The cinematography is inspired. I cannot remember the last time I watched a film like this. Maybe Saint Ange; I feel like that was beautiful; let's watch it again and see. I take screen captures to remember quotes, but I found myself genuinely just taking pictures. Every still I took was beautiful. Well, okay, Barry Lyndon was the last time that happened, but that comparison is unfair to any film.

Nothing in this production is noticeably anything but stellar and I have no clue how this is possible. Casting for these kids is amazing; they are perfect for the role. They are so charming and creepy and menacing and luminous. At one point they are described as beings of light. The next moment they are hanging crosses to protect against the avenging angel. The mother is absolutely stunning. And also she can pull off acting depressed perfectly.

The location is beautiful. The decoration is beautiful. The costume design is too. Even the little wall spider [spoilers] is beautiful. And the story is so funny and so fucked up. You're going to have a great time.

I am going to have to update this with all the amazing nightmare angel twins quotes. See you then.

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