My favourite part was when they introduced all the names of the smurfs at the beginning as if that would help because they all look fucking identical.

It has a particular cheap glossiness that I don't think I've ever seen in a movie but I've seen plenty in Genshin Impact knockoffs or one of the recent terrible Pokemon entries. It's so smooth it slides right off the brain, allowing for no penetration. When I said what my favourite part was…

I do understand the criticisms but I absolutely would have been a Shaker had I been alive in this era, I just know it. I'm not even joking. If this becomes a significant movement again I may be lost to it.

There's something really pure and surprisingly grounded about this that speaks to my soul. It's a work of meticulous loving craft that appropriately mimics the tenets of hard work and slow perseverance of the community it depicts. If you…

Backrooms is, I think, the best videogame adaptation I've seen.

Of course, Backrooms isn't a video game. Except of course it is - it's Control, it's P.T., it's Superliminal, it's Resident Evil, it's Psychonauts, it's Half-Life, it's quite obviously The Stanley Parable. it's half a dozen weird floppy-disk experimental nightmare games handed to me with hand-written labels when I was 6, it's every corridor shooter from the 90s and every horror game built in a 90s corridor shooter in the…