HOOP-X #05 of CINEMONSTER's Hooptober X: Hooptober, Hooptober Let Satan Come Over

My Fully Weird List and Complete Set of Reviews can be found here: Slappy McGee's Hoop-Tober 10.0 List.

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Apparently, director Bruno Mattei has made 52 films... and yet this is the first one I've seen in his filmography.

Oh joyous day.

So this was released as an unlicensed (and unwanted) sequel to the Jaws films and labeled as such calling itself "JAWS 5: CRUEL JAWS".

Ummm... in other words, it was a straight up rip-off.

Hell, they even stole some John Williams score from the Main Theme of "STAR WARS". They use it in several spots including the credits.

Shameless, these motherscratchers! I'm telling ya'! Just shameless!

But Bruno don't care, bitches. Out of his way!

You get a cut rate Hulk Hogan, you get a little snaggle-toothed girl in a wheelchair, you get some truly horrific acting, you get a shark scientist/biologist/dip-wad, you get dolphins - "oh, you silly, rascally dolphins" *puts hands on hips, shakes head with a close-lipped smile*, you get every shark movie cliche in the book, and you get about an hour and a half of a really bad movie that takes itself far too seriously.

Man, lighten up, Bruno.
Throw us some jokes, son.
We don't ask much, but some funny-ha-ha would be nice.