Directed by James A. Contner
A fisherman and his family fight to take down a greedy real estate developer who has released toxins into the ocean, turning the area's sharks into bloodthirsty hunters.
Great White, Shark Swarm - Squali all'attacco, Shark Swarm - Angriff der Haie, Requins : L'Armée des profondeurs, Alerta tiburones, Cáparajzás, Köpek Balığı Sürüsü, 食人鯊驚魂
Spain 
USA 
Italy 
Germany12 
UK15 Germany Italy Spain UK USA 
Knock knock, it’s the SyFy channel coming at you again with another absurd shark movie. And this one’s almost 3 hours long. Hot diggity dog.
There had been movies featuring sharks before Jaws (1975), however, Jaws was the first one was the whole premise was shark attacks, not sunken treasures or madmen, just shark attacking people. There were about two dozen shark attacks films made between Jaws in 1975 and Deep Blue Sea in 1999 (including three sequels to Jaws). Then someone realized CGI sharks were cheap and people liked shark movies. Since then, over 150 shark attack films have been released.
The films range from big budget schlock like Meg (2018), to TV schlock like the Sharknado series, all the way to zero budgeted schlock with names like Ouija Shark, Avalanche Shark and Amityville Shark. SyFy's Maneater series came about during the shark attack…
Sitting down, I had no idea this fucking thing was 160 minutes long. Holy hell. It’s got a larger focus on town drama than the crappy shark attacks but it’s not as boring as it could have been…. It’s still boring.
WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS ALMOST THREE HOURS
You know the drill: Rich bad guy(s) with sunglasses and a chihuahua is having his henchmen dump toxic sludge into the ocean, sharks show-up (aka SWARM (╯°□°)╯), people get eaten.
Terrible, and hilarious.
whole way through I was waiting for John Schneider to go "it's Luthor's fault! The ungodly runtime!! Those recycled shark shots!!! It's that damn Luthor's fault!!!!"
Stupid. Ill inducing hilarious. Fun.
This movie sucks. But if you like John Schneider as much as I do, you'll at least be able to bare this...
He's the best thing this shit-stain's got going for it.
Me pareció entretenida para desconectar un rato.
Categories:
Aquatic [#1 of 1 - ✔]
The idea that somebody thought that this movie would be good is amusing. It's almost three hours long, has plenty cheap effects, appeals to a very, very specific demographic of white, Republican dudes and absolutely sucks. There's plenty of subplots that are totally unnecessary (well, the entire movie is) and just go nowhere, ending up a boring soap opera with some hilariously fake sharks. Aaand guess who just finished the Hooptober Challenge! All it takes now is to do some fancy binge watching on 31st.
The Ultimate 2023 Shark Countdown
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Shark Swarm is a crime against humanity. Not only is it a bad Jaws knockoff that cranks at a whopping destructive 158 minutes, but I watched it in the worst possible way.
Somehow, I stumbled upon a 144p, mirrored, polish dubbed version on youtube. So, basically unwatchable, right? But oh nonono. It’s not only dubbed in polish. The WAY they did it was: the whole movie still has the original english audio, but there's a polish, descriptive NARRATION, on top of it. Not only that, but they artificially, slightly (and mercifully) SPED UP the whole thing, so it cranks at almost exactly 2H.
So, I was stuck with these low pitched, muddled…
Mi piacciono quelle dinamiche del mercato americano che permettono di realizzare una miniserie televisiva a base di squali assassini. Anche se poi ti rendi conto che quasi 160 minuti sono decisamente troppi per una storia di questo tipo (e scritta in questo modo), specie se le due puntate vengono viste in un’unica soluzione che assume presto il sapore del polpettone a base di pesce. In pratica, dopo un po’ smetti di seguire la storia ed aspetti soltanto il sangue. La spunto del titolo è sfizioso, squali che attaccano in branchi numerosi formati da varie specie (incluso lo squalo martello). Il bodycount sarebbe anche decente, così come la CGI (tenendo presente i parametri di categoria), peccato che le morti siano quasi…
Haven’t seen this but damn, nearly 3 hour killer shark film? Just want to bring this to your attention Tabi.
