Hooptober... And Then There Were Nine

1st Kill

Innocent Blood was released in Australia under the title of A French Vampire in America. I remember seeing the film advertised, realising it was some kind of sequel to An American Werewolf in London, and getting really excited about seeing it. Then something happened to distract me (I was in high school, so someone probably threw a football at me or a girl entered my general vicinity or something) and the next time the film crossed my mind it had disappeared without a trace. That's how well it did at the box office.

So this is a long-standing gap in my horror experience rectified - a suitable launching point for Hooptober 9. To be honest, though - and maybe this is why it took so long to get to - I didn't have massive hopes for this film, as it has never really set the world on fire. And I'd say this came in pretty much as expected. It's fine, I enjoyed it for what it is, but it ain't no An American Werewolf in London, that's for fucking sure.

But it is a little odd, because there are so many great ingredients to this thing. The film looks really nice, benefiting from the big studio budget and Landis gets all the fundamental things right, like lighting and production design and some nice dynamic shots, big shots of the city from the sky - the whole package. The cast is terrific - Anne Parrillaud gets to be a similar athletic badass to the one she played in Nikita, Anthony LaPaglia is a little bland but as an Aussie I always get a kick out of seeing him in Hollywood stuff, there's a pretty stellar supporting cast of future Sopranos ensemble members. Even Don Rickles shows up. And Robert Loggia is ALL IN on his villain turn as local Pittsburgh mafia don, Sally "the Shark" Macelli - man, the dude was on fire in the 90's! This is every bit as crazy as his performance in Lost Highway. There's also a lot of really great special make-up effects from Steve Johnson and some real brutality and gore along the way.

So why does this movie lack excitement? It really never gets all that entertaining. I've been pondering it, and I really think the blame lays at John Landis' feet - particularly in his post-production work. This movie is way too fucking lethargic. There's no earthly reason why it needs to be nearly two hours long. Meanwhile, he malingers on scenes and lets them almost rot on the vine, and some scenes just aren't necessary at all. The weakest link in this film is the romance between Parrillaud and LaPaglia and Landis forces us to endure at least 15 minutes alone of their sojourn in a hotel room, including one of those weird 80's-style extended sex scenes of inept soft-core erotica (weird because scenes like this are so incredibly unerotic). Even after the sex, we cut away to something Robert Loggia is doing, and then we cut back to our protagonists and they're still in the fucking hotel room! Just talking and procrastinating! It's maddeningly slow.

I'd love to see this film in a revised cut, I think a good editor could really transform this into a rollicking 85 minute film. Innocent Blood was mildly entertaining - honestly, the best thing is Steve Johnson's effects - but I don't think it's going to become a new fave.

Best Kill (may contain traces of spoiler)

There are quite a few bloody neck rippings, but the best death has to be newly vampirised Don Rickles getting bathed in sunlight and slowly and very painfully charring and burning into pieces - what an incredible scene! Mind you, the most disturbing scene in the film is one where Robert Loggia tucks bloodily and droolingly into some lumps of raw meat - I had to look away it was so disgusting! LOL