I can’t believe that this movie has been out there in the world just existing without my knowledge so thank you Adam for letting me in on this beautiful secret because it filled a hole I didn’t even know was there.

This movie is awesome. It’s a total rip-off of Alien and it’s cheap af with the worst acting and z-grade special effects so it’s kinda the best. For unexplained reasons, all of the doors on the spacecraft (that resembles a utility sink faucet knob) are only about 4 feet tall and all of the hallways are tunnels that the crew has to crawl through. It’s basically like they watched the scene in Alien where Dallas crawls through those pipes with a flamethrower and…

With it being unusually hot here in the UK and being unable to sleep why not watch a cheap Alien rip-off? I just can't get enough of these things.

After a research team find an egg on Mars and bring it aboard their spacecraft it hatches to reveal a crystal and an unidentified life form which proceeds to attack the oxygen levels killing the crew. Enter the new crew who have come to rescue the ship unknown to them there is an alien lifeform lurking! I mean this thing is ridiculous, cheesy as it gets with an alien that looks like a depressed slime-covered ET that leaves a trail of alien cum wherever it goes. 85% of the cast are…

I have a real soft spot for all these low budget Alien clones and Star Crystal is no different. The cheesy FX, cardboard looking set designs, poor lighting and dramatic acting make this one highly enjoyable. I always enjoy the alien designs in these films too. I hold strong with my belief that cheap looking rubbery creatures still look better than any modern CGI creation.

A space crew finds a mysterious crystal that they bring on board their ship. Too bad it gives birth to a goopy tentacley alien that hunts down the crew and turns them into mushy squishy corpses. Lots of people getting chased through vents and yelling.

The movie takes a turn near the end when some…

Don’t let the 2 star rating fool you, Star Crystal is prime “so bad it’s good” fodder for you and friends to laugh at.

This movie has this chronic problem of killing off characters to fast, forcing the movie to continue to introduce new ones. Finally halfway through the movie it gives up on that and that’s where the biggest problems come in. The first half is bad, but in a very entertaining way. Lots of cheap sets and cool slimy effects, lots of people dying at random, lots of doors on the spaceship to short for people to walk through them (seriously the doors were like 4ft tall), it makes for a silly Alien rip-off.

Them the movie settles…

There is in interesting thing in one of the scenes at the beginning of Star Crystal. The crew are discussing a rock they found on Mars and they are drinking Coca Cola from some kind of specialized space plastic bottles. They take sips from the side. I bet the production design thought they were well clever, because astronauts in space do need specialized drinking bottles since there is no gravity. The problem is that there is never a scene in the film that shows them lacking gravity, so I wouldn’t have thought about gravity if it wasn’t for those bottles, but now I’m wondering why they have it in space. They had gravity in Alien (1979), never wondered why.

I…

There's a cantankerous engineer named Billi in this, and for a short-lived moment she looks a bit like the Ripley clone in this cast, if there is one at all. Similar dark hair, frizzier than it is curly, though her temperament is bizarrely intense — everyone's is, really. They grin and joke after escaping from a meltdown at a space station and then act irate or zone out like they're all robotripping hard. One guy just checks out all the ladies' butts and hits on them or 'comforts' them while they smilecry in response to trauma. They pass the time between alien murder by gawking at video of astronauts tossing a football around on Mars, and then they get bored…