Directed by Steven Spielberg
Set during the Cold War, the Soviets—led by sword-wielding Irina Spalko—are in search of a crystal skull which has supernatural powers related to a mystical Lost City of Gold. Indy is coerced to head to Peru at the behest of a young man whose friend—and Indy's colleague—Professor Oxley has been captured for his knowledge of the skull's whereabouts.
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Fuck yes.
I love it. All of it. From the classical opening giving way to a rollicking rock 'n' roll tune, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is something different than fan-service for disgruntled internet complainers. It is a luscious tribute to 50s B-movies and the pulpy comics that inspired them, embracing every glorious quip and every moment of flowering insanity in order to liven the Indiana Jones universe into an old-fashioned burst of blockbuster entertainment.
Crystal Skull reminds me of a time when summer popcorn extravaganzas were directed, focusing on the story at hand rather than worrying about the studio's five-year plan of world domination. Steven Spielberg revels in every silly and goofy quirk in George…
A pretty good movie if you turn it off once they get to Peru
Gripping drama about a dementing geriatric Archeologist who thinks he's having an adventure while in reality he's being spoon fed porridge.
84
With each revisit of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I have less and less patience for people who disregard it outright. Barring any overt nostalgic sentimentality, which feels based on Spielberg's contribution rather than Lucas', this film flies into the future with a clever 'old man Indy' spirit and a technological spin. Its narrative of Area 51 and Soviets and Ancient Temples and Fire Ants and Waterfalls and Secret Passages and Aliens (!!!) made sensitive fanboys irrationally angry. So did its plot inconsistencies and so-called "unbelievable" moments, all of which are featured in the fourth entry about a famous archaeologist who carries around a whip and dabbles in christian mysticism. There's something to this release,…
Spielberg's classicism v Lucas retrofuturism: dawn of justice. A wild union of 30s serials, 50s B-movies, and the 2000s blockbuster.
You may have heard that there’s a scene in Steven Spielberg’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in which the cinema’s most iconic archaeologist survives an atomic blast by hiding inside of a lead refrigerator. The incident occurs about 20 minutes into the grizzled whip-cracker’s fourth feature-length adventure—widely considered to be the series’ best (note to self: fact-check this later)—and it follows a scene in which a small squadron of Russian soldiers infiltrated Area 51, unveiled an alien corpse, and got derailed by an arthritic part-time college professor who’s so bad at his job that . . . well, these were supposed to be his office hours. So it’s safe to say that, even before the scene in question, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, like the earlier films in its series, doesn’t feel particularly beholden to realism.
the original Area 51 raid
this is actually a very good movie y’all just scared of aliens admit it
Obviously this isn't as alchemical as the others and certainly contains its fair share of cringes, but it's also packed with top-tier Spielberg action sequences (especially in the terrific first half) and wild, indelible images like Indy in front of the mushroom cloud or the guy getting consumed by giant killer ants (cool!). All that makes the final 30 minutes a real bummer, particularly the scowling aliens in their dipshit CGI whirlpool of knowledge, a sequence that structurally mirrors the RAIDERS finale but without any of the squeamishness or terror. Anyway, whatever, I like this, it's not as bad as everyone says. Full disclosure, I'm friends with a guy who not only helped render the infamously nuked fridge, he also worked on Devastator's balls in REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. For the record he hates both movies and thinks I'm completely out of my mind.
Twenty minutes in: Why didn't I like this movie more? It's great!
The third act: Ohhhhhhh
Indiana Jones and the Rise of Skywalker
84
Tired: Indy outrunning a boulder.
Wired: Indy surviving a nuclear blast via refrigerator.
