Charted Colonialism

An unambiguous adventure in the advancement of imperialism, an American, a Brit, and a Spaniard, as well as some more Americans, set a course for stealing the gold that their colonialist adventurer ancestors first stole from the Philippines, a former colony of both the Spanish and American Empires and, briefly and partly, the British Empire, as well. Pfft, "Uncharted:" what a stupid title. This is all very well-trodden, and charted, ground already.

As unabashed as this neocolonialism is, it'd at least be a bit easier to overlook--well, not really, it's awfully naked about it--if the movie weren't being banned for another reason in the Philippines, as well as in Vietnam, another frequent historical target for foreign warmongering. The reason being that these countries are being threatened by another expansionist empire these days: China. Among its various maps, one briefly displayed in the movie includes the nine-dash line that promotes China's contested claims in the South China Sea. Maybe this was without the blessing or knowledge of parent company Sony, which albeit a multinational conglomerate is headquartered in Japan, which has its own quarrels with China's increasing marine claims. Whatever the case is for that seemingly unnecessary charting being included in the movie, it's quite fitting and indicative of the central corrupt conceit of the picture.

"Uncharted," on the other hand, in addition to with American domestic audiences, has reportedly done quite well in China, including apparently having taken over the number one spot at the box office from the country's home-dictated propaganda flick, another "The Battle at Lake Changjin" entry. These filmmaking pirates know where the real money is. And, I couldn't care less about whatever comparative domestic racial-politics nonsense regarding the casting has occupied the attention of the press. Or that the cast otherwise includes a few sellout movie star hacks, although, along with his Spidey employing late defense contractor/tech bro Tony Stark's mass surveillance and weapons arsenal, Tom Holland has become quite the poster child for imperialism. Or that the movie copies from the MCU the annoying mid-credits scenes and annoying cameos I have to do an internet search for afterwards. Or that it's based on a video game, although it explains the joystick-controlled climax, dreary CGI, and how every moment of exposition and plot development here feels like a boring cutscene. Or that it rips off "Indiana Jones" movies and the like, which explains just about everything else. An early candidate for worst movie of the year, "Uncharted" has no redeeming value.