Synopsis
Greed Never Dies.
Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.
Directed by Nick Quested
Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.
Sedm mumií, Seven Mummies, レジェンド・オブ・ドゥーム, Treasure of the Seven Mummies, Dead Evil, Les 7 Momies, 7 מומיות, Seitsemän muumion aarre, 7 Múmias, Skarb mumii, Mumie, 7 Mumya, 七木乃伊, 미이라 비기닝 2, 7 мумий
Lame, and wastes everything.
Film 27/93 of 🌼A Late Springing Into A Perverse Trash Fire of Impending Doom-Sleaze 2025-Watch a horror movie from 2006.
Billy Drago is the only bright spot and he is phoning it in. But for Drago, that means the phone is a burger phone and he did cocaine beforehand.
Even the sleaze is poorly done, choosing to shoot the sex scenes and ensuing horror carnage in dimly lit ugly rooms. The big moment, the From Dusk Till Dawn change-up: all the ingredients are there. Its cheap but the location is decent, the actors are solid B and C-movie stalwarts that can prop up a weak budget; but everything else is just wrong.
The pacing is off,…
After a mystical Trejo tells of desert gold, escaped cons walk into a frontier town appearing from a mirage. Night falls turning prostitutes into maneaters and locals into zombies, for one whole scene, as the outsiders run from Sheriff Billy Drago. He'll see them dead for a medallion needed to unlock a fortune beneath their feet.
Given awful ratings across movie databases, I braced for the pits, but this is far from the worst schlock I'll forget all about tomorrow. Aside from the aura of a SyFy Original, Drago wonderfully scene-chews and eerie western moods peek through dubious editing and licensed music. Nothing much stands out, even its cast (Cerina Vincent barely speaks), but wushu-style kung fu mummies and an undead Drago mounting a steed await the patient. And no, only counted four. Watched via Image Entertainment's DVD.
A shitty sleazy cheapy western-flavored horror- movie about Danny Trejo having one scene where he laughs menacingly for an uninterrupted minute and points some escaped convicts toward a old west town full of totally regular not zombie old west people.
Clear and undebatable case of title fraud.
- there are basically no mummies, and even if you're being charitable on what a mummy is, there are like four tops
+ the not-mummys do fucking kung fu and jump around and shit
Completely inconsequential and stupid but every now and then I'd go 'oh hell yea' for a good few seconds.
Needed to be 60% better or 30% worse. Definitely should be bloodier, possibly sleazier.
There isn't a single bandage in this film.
That is the greatest of all betrayals
And this even ends with an out of nowhere HK style fight scene.
But no actual classic mummies?
I am furious
.
When I saw this cover I knew I had to watch the movie because I just wanted to write Mum7mies likes a million times in a Letterboxd review. However I did not expect this movie to turn out to be, and I say this with no sense of hyperbole whatsoever, one of the worst movies ever made. This is one of those rare gems is so bad technically you can't even enjoy it as a bad movie because you can’t hear, see or follow anything.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Maybe the mummies in this film are the friends we made along the way! Despite the title being “7 mummies” they only appear for a few minutes and aren’t the traditional mummies you’re thinking what so ever. The mummies also lack any meaning 😔
A bunch of stupid escaped convicts follow the mad words of a crazed Indian Shaman in the wilderness and head out on a treasure hunt, looking for lost Spanish gold. The trail leads them to a bleak frontier town who's old west-type occupants turn out to be bloodthirsty ghouls who want to kill and eat the convicts.
There's a couple of decent gore-kills throughout, and some zombie/ninja action at the end, but ultimately this film suffers from bad writing and bad pacing, and it looks pretty cheap too.
Also, randomly inserting generic hip-hop and hard rock tracks into the scenes doesn't help either.
The simple story is a decent idea but it's nothing we haven't seen before, and it wasn't executed too well here.
There's not a single mummy in this film. I've been betrayed. Bamboozled. Lied to.
There is a "We got Danny Trejo for 15 minutes", eyes getting ripped out and an young Adrianne Palicki, so there's that.
Pure garbage.
This is a movie you should not watch by yourself. Not because it's scary, but because otherwise you won't be able to sit through it. In all seriousness: there are better movies you could be watching. But if you want to watch a bad movie with cowboy-ninja-zombie-mummies, look no further.
The cover art always intrigued me when I’d walk past it in Movie Gallery. For some reason, I never rented it even though I rented most of the horror movies they had.
I’m happy I didn’t because it’s literal trash.
Boring. Stupid. Waste of time.
One of the most random flicks I've ever seen. The plot was confusing, the characters weren't really that, just stand ins waiting to be killed, the editing was as bad as it can get, sound editing was even worse if you can believe so and the soundtrack was awful and nonsensical. The plot and effects very terrible as well, of course. I mean, nothing and I mean literally nothing worked here. It didn't have any charm, not even that awful charm you may get by watching some bmovies. I hate it so much.