For an hour and 45 minutes: ★★★★★. Colors pop off the screen more vividly than anything I can remember since Kurosawa’s Ran. The shots, the staging, the choreography, the music - it’s all lights out. The allure of the American Dream, immigrants struggling to make a life and the racist resistance to acclimation - sadly as relevant and topical as ever.

The problem is Tony and Maria are selfish idiots. After knowing each other for all of 5 minutes they can’t stop talking and singing about how much they love each other. I’ve seen my fare share of implausible rapid romances in film, but this one is absurd.

Maria convinces Tony to stop what would have been a harmless fist fight and his intervention only escalates the tussle. First Tony is indirectly responsible for his best friend being fatally stabbed by Maria’s brother, then he straight up murders him in retaliation. Surely this must be the end of their lust-mance, but no! What does Maria do after learning this news - that Tony killed her brother and best friends boyfriend? Well bangs him in her bed, feet away from said best friend while she’s mourning of course! When caught, Maria has the nerve to gaslight her friend into feeling sympathy because she’s in “love”, and all while on the bed where she just had sex with a killer!

This all culminates in tragedy as it must but Romeo and Juliet it is not. Maria’s actions are ground zero for all the mayhem and yet she has the audacity to blame everyone but herself, at gunpoint nonetheless.

I don’t think I’ve ever had my opinion of a movie sour more dramatically in the final 40 minutes than it did with West Side Story.

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