we watch them so you don't have to: lowest rated quest

(lowest rated quest watchlist - ranked)

5x5 creature feature challenge // (1/25)
section - flying creatures

the real shock and terror is that i'm blasphemously logging this next to a rewatch of spirited away. i'm so sorry miyazaki for failing you like this.

*over 3 mins of credits and endless shots of a car driving*
[jack] this is one of the best opening sequences i've ever seen in my life 
[me] *laughing*
[jack] i'm being serious

*guy walking down street*
[me] this shaky ass camcorder recording 
[jack] that was the worst acting i've ever seen i'm not kidding 

*15 mins into the movie*
[me] i'm ready for this to end 
[jack] *laughing* i'm so glad i decided to watch this 
[me] oh really?
[jack] yeah, just get it over and done with 
[me] yeah.. but there's still the sequel
[jack] *silence*

*fake ass windows movie maker birds show up*
[me] you're kidding. those are the birds?
*us laughing*
[me] it took 23 mins for the "birds" to show up 
[jack] there haven't been birds the whole movie. like not even a bird in the street

[jack] i'm so glad we've watched 24 mins of the most boring couple ever so far and no birds
[me] there were birds jack. for like one second 
[jack] no deaths though

[jack] no one is believable in this film as a human being

*80 shots of people at a job clapping with horrible cuts and editing*
[me] stop clapping!
*more clapping*
*jack and i actually screaming laughing for literally 5 mins straight*

*us bashing the editing for the entire movie*
[jack] how many fucking cuts are they gonna show of this boring conversation that nobody cares about?

[jack] still over 30 mins left
[me] jack pls 

[me] so are we gonna get some bird deaths?
[jack] i'm not convinced that there are any birds in this movie 

*birdemic happening randomly with no context and with the worst visual effects known to mankind, looking like pokémon go CGI*
[me] wait what?
*us crying laughing so hard*

*scene of the people swatting at fake birds with coat hangers*
[me] they've literally downloaded a bird simulator game and used the footage 
*us crying laughing again*

*guy giving environmental bullshit scientific explanation*
[jack] this is one of those scenes where the character is talking and you start just phasing out 
[me] yeah i didn't hear a single word he said 
[jack] all i heard him say was goodbye at the end 

[me] why are they suddenly next to a babbling brook 
[jack] i've given up trying to understand this movie

[jack] should we give this 5 stars?
[me] no!!

*fake bird smacks into windshield*
[jack] even the CGI birds didn't want to be in this film so they just killed themselves 

i couldn't even write down any more of our conversation for like the final third of the movie because we were just laughing so insanely hard that i'm probably gonna get a noise complaint from my neighbors lmao 

final thoughts: it's 2:40am as i'm writing this, and i've just finished watching utter garbage. what am i doing with my life?