I think that poster makes Blood Glacier look like a shitty SyFy channel creature feature, which is a shame, because this is a much higher quality enterprise than that. It’s clearly derivative of a couple of very familiar sources (terror in the snow a la The Thing, and hiding out from a range of nasty beasties a la The Mist) but I’m fine with derivative if they at least make an entertaining movie out of it.

Although none of the character situational set-ups make much sense (again, minor issue in a movie like this, as far as I’m concerned), I think the basic concept is pretty cool. The “blood glacier” of the title is the sudden appearance of what looks something like a red algal bloom in the glacier ice – except rather than algae, this turns out to be a single-celled organism which can co-opt the DNA of whichever animal consumes it, also mingling with the DNA of whatever else is in that animal’s stomach. And so we get a fox-beetle, a vulture-wasp, you get the picture. Oh, and obviously, as well as creating these weird chimaeras, it also turns them into psychotic homicidal animaniacs who will stop at nothing to kill and maim as many people as possible. Naturally.

So, what else do you want to know? A bunch of people have to hole out in this scientific research base, trying not to be killed. Some show themselves to be more capable and/or morally strong and/or brave than the others. Many of them die – and there are some pretty horrible deaths among them. The creature effects aren’t always top notch but, fuck it, they are 95% practical effects with only a couple of CGI moments, so I found the creatures super fun.

The whole environmental message, while lacking subtlety, is pretty elegant. So, as we continue to screw up the climate, the glaciers retreat until they get to a point from primal prehistory when these horrible things ruled the earth. As the ice melts into the water and flows down off the mountain, it’s going to contaminate the entire water supply – this is an Armageddon scenario literally created by global warming (quite how these massively effective organisms ever died out sufficiently to all become imprisoned in the glaciers rather than just taking over all life on earth originally… look, it doesn’t matter, OK? Just shut the fuck up.)

Yeah, I really enjoyed this one. Whatever you do, avoid the English dubbed version. I had no choice but to watch that version, and the voice actors are pathetic – I would have enjoyed this much more with the actors' real German dialogue. It really struck me how profoundly bad dubbing can screw up a movie – I had to stay conscious of it and make allowances all the way through. I think many who see the dubbed version will be much harsher on this movie than it really deserves.