Traveling the World

bollywoodrecord @ 2016-01-30T21:56:00

2016-01-31T03:56:13Z

IM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND

AND IT FUCKING

SUCKS

bollywoodrecord @ 2015-12-23T21:32:00

2015-12-24T03:32:06Z

"there has to have been something wrong, for it to have not worked out. there had to be something wrong with me if he didn't like me.

maybe i was missing something. maybe i had something he didn't want. but there had to have been something wrong with me. something."

"there was nothing wrong with you, and there was nothing wrong with him. it's just... the romance wasn't there."

"something had to have been wrong for the romance to be missing."

"see, that's where you're wrong.

just because something was missing doesn't make it bad. you have to realize: no romance isn't wrong. it just is."

"it's something missing, and isn't that–"

"that isn't wrong either. nothing was wrong with you. nothing is wrong with you. don't let yourself be validated by the attractions of a boy. you're worth more than his 'i love you.' you're worth your 'i love you.'"

bollywoodrecord @ 2015-12-11T11:18:00

2015-12-11T17:18:51Z

been having a lot of emotions lately. i've got an exam in a couple of hours and then i take the bus for a 3 hour drive home and then i've gotta pack for a flight to cali at 7 in the morning tomorrow.

i'm so tired and i'm a little content and i'm a little sad.

i was going through my journal the other day, and i came across my post about THE ONE, that friend. i've been having discussions about THE ONE a lot recently, but my forever THE ONE. my will you marry me THE ONE ???? i didn't realize i even thought about that shit to be quite honest.

but.

here i am.

thinking about it.

and i'm telling myself it's ok, if all i did today was feel. because jesus, kinda sucks when your potential THE ONE doesn't want you to be their THE ONE.

i want to make my THE ONE post sometime soon. let's hope my heart finds enough inspiration in these dead feelings.

bollywoodrecord @ 2015-12-09T01:47:00

2015-12-09T07:47:27Z

i can't help but think there was something wrong with me in this situation

???????

there doesn't seem to be another answer

i can't think of another answer

there's

definitely

not

another

answer

.

bollywoodrecord @ 2015-12-06T16:06:00

2015-12-06T22:06:34Z

i wonder if anyone sees me

and thinks

"the person that gets to be with her in the future is so lucky"

or if it's just me

that has those thoughts

about

you

um

2015-01-01T20:49:36Z

this is the most irrelevant post on the entire planet but can we just

THAT SECOND GIF HOLY FUCK. im crying right now they both reach out their hands and seohyun looks like a goddess im pretty sure yonghwa has tears in his eyes that we can't see because of those obnoxious sunglasses. oh my god. c

YOU GUYS??? I'VE WATCHED THE YONGSEO WE GOT MARRIED SEASON FOUR TIMES OKAY? LIKE

I

AM

FLIPPING

SHIT

pls tell me someone else is crying about this too

so much for leaving fandom aqsa

okay aqsa yongseo is different

sure aqsa sure

hiatus.

2014-08-12T00:11:18Z

i'm not really sure if this is a sudden announcement or not because i've been talking about it a little for a while now, but as a formal regards: hiatus from the kpop fandom! definitely not permanent, but will probably last on for however long it'll take me to get back into fandom and fall back into regular life routine.

long story short, i'm beginning to feel (once again) very... stressed. and it's summer, aqsa, why are you stressed! well, i still haven't completed my summer homework, as i only just recently finished summer school, i just started a new job – really my old job, but just promoted – which is a huge jump in hours, i'm planning for this huge party, and senior year is about to start and im worrying over college applications and convincing my parents to let me go out of state without it being a huge financial burden on them. writing has become very difficult for me and it feels like a chore, almost, something im forced to do rather than something for my own enjoyment. same with reading fanfiction. unsurprisingly, the only fandom stuff i have (sort of) been keeping up with in this doubtful time is anything.... somewhat.... concerning sehun or jongin. because. bias. so what.

i've made so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful friends from kpop so to drop it so suddenly would be impossible for me to do. but i do really, really need a break. once summer started, i was looking forward to being able to write as much as i wanted, but it's become a burden, really. i don't know why. i guess because i'm forcing it, which i shouldn't be doing.

also, i know i made that request post so long ago, and i have yet to fulfill even half of them, but i'm still planning on writing them, i promise. i will not leave this fandom without finishing all of those haha.

i feel really bad, especially to you #angstcircle guys who are my absolute dearest friends on the entire planet and i don't know what i would do without each and every one of you, but i just.... need.... a breather...

sighs. i feel so sad writing this. but i guess don't expect any writing from me soon. do, however, continue linking me to all your stuff, i have a notes post saved of every single thing i still have to read, whether its a story or a wip collection or even just a personal post.

hopefully i'll live on through twitter. maybe. i don't know. cries.

okay i think that's it. just fandom-hiatus. i'm pretty sure i'll be back but for now.... sorry guys

skydragon masterpost

2013-09-29T05:42:06Z

a shitty compilation of skydragon stuffs dedicated to sooriforever who ships this ~~obviously alive~~ pair with me. also created in attempts to convince the rest of my fandom friends to ship this. i know most of us ~~all of us~~ are smtown people mostly, but um…. just. go through it. and see. maybe.

i added fancams for most of the stuff but if you don't watch to watch them there are like a crapload of gifs to go along with everything cause i guess the skydragon fandom is desperate.

also not to say that this is to prove this ship is real because um obviously shipping is for shipping for the hell of it but also, um. just. go through it. and maybe. i don't know. you'll change your mind or something.

okay here it goes. my crappy skydragon mASTERPOST

~~also i'm both gd and cl biased if that like doesn't say already seem evident to you~~

Strong Heart (120403)

W Magazine Event (121021)

The Leaders Performance (130330)

The Leaders Performance (130629)

The Leaders Performance (130901)

G-Dragon "Who You" Performance (130922)

Instagram

Cute Stuff idk where it's from

also if suddenly you are converted to this ship me and kimmy pretty much cry about them all the time together on twitter feel free to join us. or if not inform us of the latest skydragon stuff. they're performing together on sunday's inkigayo and apparently she rode in his car there i just lakdjfklajsdfkajsdf.

okay i'm done now. that is all.

sekai master list

2013-08-11T07:38:26Z

♥ – indicate favorite
*** – HILARIOUS
$$$ – extreme porn
unitalicized summaries means i made them up myself lmao
also notes at the bottom of some fics

UNRATED

careful hands ♥
exollent (featuring chanhun)
our bodies beg us to be creatures of habit
so i like went through this phase of chanhun (that i'm still kind of going through because flawless pair is flawless) and this is my favorite sekaiyeol because best ot3 regardless of what anyone says. it's weird and like cute and not cute and somewhat a little dark??? idk if that's the word to describe it but it's really really good so READDDDDD

sharing does not always equal caring
zitaos
though sometimes, especially with jongin, it does.
drabble because remember sm's obsessions with sehun and his low cut tanks (doesn't even look like he's wearing a shirt lololololol)

brotherhood ***
jongups
sehun and jongin join a fraternity, though e-x-o is not quite what they were expecting.
um idk what the hell this is but it's like really funny and stupid and exo is gay we all know this already

get on like fire, stubborn like rain
playfulmelodies
it's too late to put himself in reverse when the one who's pulling jongin in is the one he wants the most.

it's too cold for you here now
edoriko
sehun begins to think that jongin and his 30 spf sunscreen make the season a bit more bearable.
okay accidentally included some angst but ugh THIS FIC WAS SO GOOD AND REALLY SAD i hate it when sekai break apart sighs but really good so read anyways

collapse into me ♥
baeklights (featuring baekyeol and sebaek)
it's not as easy as willing it all to be right.
kind of random and weird and i just like jongin in this especially and how sehun starts like jongin and all the experimenting and chanyeol is just always flawless in fics and normally i don't really ship sebaek but their just influence on everyone in this fic was really really interesting?? idk thumbs up for being weird and awesome

run the heart
exollent
sehun had first met jongin when he was six and his father had decided to humor his obsession with surfing with a trip to the local surf shop on his birthday.

oh sehun, awkward kid extraordinaire ♥ ***
astrou
sehun is an awkward bumbling mess that catches the attraction of THE kim jongin
crack

i built a hell for you and me
astrou
kim jongin builds worlds with no distinction.
warning for self harm and suches but it's really really good and there's a fic for each of their perspectives and it's just wow amazing how the author writes this and like how accurately everything is described um yeah how to write serious things without sounding stupid

lovey dovey
leadernim
jongin tries to be romantic. sehun is confused. they're still cute as hell.
also crack

love ain't fair (so there you are)
@himchan.tumblr.com
two bros can go to prom without it being a thing, right?
crying at this oh my god it is so cute and everything is perfect and wow a+

love don't make sense, bro ♥
drainbamage954
someone apparently thinks it's an amazing idea to stuff kim jongin's book bag with mysterious valentines on a daily basis.
okay it sounds kinda weird but it isN'T PORN SHOCKINGLY and it's really cute and fluffy and jongin coming to sexual preference and it's so funny and cute just reAD IT

laundry day
edoriko
sehun meets a hot guy while doing laundry and yes
i don't know anymore

dysfunctional delight ***
astrou
misunderstandings are always fun and games.
THIS IS JUST STUPID CUTENESS but it's also really funny so just idk read it

kim jongin's guide to loving oh sehun
uberchrome
sehun isn't atlas and even kings have scars that never bleed.
this will probably make you cry but it so beautifully written that i don't even care

silver lining
chanyul
vampire!au in which jongin is a dick friend and its kind of cute um
i don't know vampire au is normally weird but this was so cute and funny and yes

afternoon snack
chanyul
vampire!au continued, cavity inducing cuteness

hangovers and hypothermia
@merrysekaimas.tumblr.com
sekai+chanyeol+baekhyun play in the snow with a hangover while waiting for food
wow i am so horrible at writing summaries it sounds like shit but it's actually really cute and weird like sekai in the cold ugh yesssss (also there is a tumblr dedicated to christmas sekai tics um the world is now complete)

simmer down and pucker up
himchan @ archiveofourown
jongin smiles up at him, tipsy. his cheeks burn -- more from the alcohol than anything else -- and he says, “i can see into the future. i’m in your future.” the man’s laugh is a soft snort. “okay,” he concedes. “but doesn’t that also mean I’m in your future too?”
i'm going to cry omg the ending of this fic??? is so heartbreaking???? why do i rec angsty sekai fics omg i demand a happy ending author

we lost ourselves in the bright lights ***
happyxings
jongin’s perfectly content with how he’s been living his life, until sehun shows him just what he’s been missing.
SO CUTE AND EXACTLY THE AMOUNT OF FLUFF AND CRACK I NEEDED im gonna cry

looking for senpai ***
crumblingworld
when nerds collie.
luhan is the best part of this fic omg just

fate (the red string remix) ♥
bluedveins
a red string appears tied around sehun's pinky one day, invisible to everyone else in the school but a certain math enthusiast.
the ending of this fic is absolutely beautiful and everything i could have asked for, this is just akdsjlaksjd i love it so much

joie de vivre ♥♥♥♥♥
junedays @ aff
in which sehun might be depressed, and jongin is just too bright.
FUCK ME WHY DO I FUCKING ALWAYS REC ANGSTY SEKAI. this fic is like 17 chaps+epilogue and it is so fucking sad and yet the best sekai fic i have ever read. it's actually the number one fic i would rec people. the writing is absolutely beautiful and it's really, really really emotionally. you fall in love with jongin and sehun's characters. there is literally nothing wrong with this fic, and no matter how much i wanted a happy ending i have to say it was written absolutely beautifully. everyone should read this <3

i can show you i'll be the one ♥
junedays @ aff
"some steps need to be taken alone. it's the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be."
if you want an extra epilogue for the last fic, then this is it! somewhat of a happier ending, although a continuation would be super super awesome. but yes, still lovely <3

the best question
animalstyleu @ archiveofourown
sehun's relationship with jongin, for as much of his life as he can remember, has been mostly based on a series of questions that aren't really questions; statements of belonging that don't leave much room for debate.
omg cutest everrrrr it's been forever since i've read some happy sekai. the ending especially is the greatest lol. sighs archiveofourown is slowly becoming my favorite place ever to find good sekai.

a house is not a home
supremekoi (featuring sexing)
in which sehun has a) a crush on yixing and b) a lot of growing up to do.
sometimes i imagine sekai laying in bed together wrapped up in each other's arms and it makes my heart hurt.

RATED

second best ♥ ♥
exollent (featuring hunhan and kaistal)
"hey, you, boyfriend?" jongin makes a face. "ew. no. i'm his best friend."
FAVORITE EVER i could read this fic forever tbqh it's so cute and realistic set in au world and just their whole relationship and sehun trying not to like jongin it's just ugh PERFECT THIS IS ONE YOU GUYS HAVE TO READ

大藝術家 $$$
bluedveins
sehun is a tattoo artist and jongin has an infatuation
lmao naomi this is kind of porn you might want to avoid???? maybe idk

comfort zone
exollent
the first time baekhyun made the shower joke, jongin hung his head and laughed with the rest of them. eventually he asked sehun about it.

castles of sand
hyperlydian (featuring lukai and kai/everyone)
jongin builds love up in other people like a child making castles of sand, and each time, he stays too close to the shore, jumping away when the tide comes, and watching as each turret and wall crumbles under the force of the waves.
this one was weird and takes a little bit of adjusting to (understand to?) but after you kind of get what the author is getting at it's a really amazing concept and i like the weirdness and originality of it. why are sekai writers so creative omfg

guessing games ♥
exollent (featuring chanhun)
in which kai and chanyeol have a pathological need to compete with each other and sehun plays the reluctant diplomat.
lmao what is this idek but it's flawless

go ahead, i dare you ♥ $$$
zitaos
drunken dares are the bane of oh sehun's existence. and maybe kim jongin, too.
PORN PORN PORN

underbelly
maayacola
a part of sehun has always belonged to the sea.

love's not a competition (but i'm winning) ♥ $$$
cocacola (featuring hunhan and kai/everyone)
jongin's messed around with most of his band members in one way or another, but seeing sehun do it is what throws him off his game.
also PORN PORN PORN

so caught up in you ♥
thesockmonster
baekhyun's cousin moves in and jongin is idk gay??????
this is mostly cutesy happiness and i think that's my favorite kind of sekai so um read pls

wouldn't it be nice ♥
zitaos (featuring baekyeol)
maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
SO CUTE kind of bitter angsty but has a really nice ending to it and yeah i like this one a lot also lifeguard!sekai is beautiful

you are a vessel of light to me tonight ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
thoughtsofgray
in a world where humans are genetically modified to stop aging at twenty-five, sehun chases after the seconds and jongin watches as they go by.
HANDS DOWN THE BEST SEKAI FIC TO EVER EXIST ON THIS PLANET. i will warn you guys it has 7 parts to it because omfg it is so long but every part of it is so good i just thank all the holy lords for this author <33333 if you guys have seen that movie with justin timberlake, in time, you'll get the reference a little better, but if not the author explains it really well so it doesn't really matter. um the second and third parts of this are kind of sexsexsex but then the rest of it has really good plot and all this cutesy intense sekai and the ending just makes me so sad over and over and over again but it's also really happy at the same time and idk you'll just have to read it to figure it out? the second fic that you MUST READ on this list if you decide not to read anything else (which would be cruel because i spent a long time making this and i except a detailed comment/essay on this post as to why you guys now ship sekai when you are done reading everything hehehehehehehe)

to live in ashes
hyperlydian
"make a wish," he says, and jongin thinks of hot springs and painkillers and raindrops falling on the dry skin of his face.

(we are the) name of the game $$$ ***
bluedveins
college!au, mostly porn really. but it's cute so

going nowhere
fluids
those two people who are so right for each other and so blind to the fact.
intense like wow just so intense what other words do i use for this fic

the art of seduction (oh sehun style) ***
thesockmonster
where sehun falls for jongin, his new college roommate, and luhan is absolutely no help.
THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS OH MY GOD sehun is so stupid its just like rl and porn ish stuff isn't really until the end so u can skip if needed be lmao

facial prostitution ♥ ♥ $$
htiitlstdct
sehun is cute, confused and has issues and jongin is his confusing, possesive best friend who doesn't help at all
notice how there it is $$ instead of $$$ meaning somewhat smuttish but not really i kind of overlooked that fact because it's just really sweet and weird and cute and idk. i read this fic a while back and thought of it again yesterday and it took me so long to find it but i did and it's my current favorite because just uGH IT'S SO CUTE AND GOOD AND I JUST LOVE IT A LOT. okay.

thursday
myunsoo (featuring kaisoo)
there's no promise of tomorrow.

bedroom wall (sequel to thursday)
myunsoo
back here, within the walls that have seen more than anyone will ever know, they're free to be with each other.
out of the two is def my fave, both fics wanted to make me cry but this one kinda heals the wound a lil bit

all fired up ♥♥
htiitlstdct
apparently, there's one thing you don't do when you get threatened by crazy police officers; and that's running away from them [r-u-mine!au, sort of]
okay new favorite author ugh she is flawless and so are her fics ♥ has a kind of sad ending which always breaks my heart but for the most part it's just really unique and good and the pre-ending (like right before the sad part lol) is so flawless just yessss

100 (faculty of mind) ♥ $
htiitlstdct
narcolepsy fic, in which sehun meets jongin who helps put him to sleep
why is she such a good writer just ;___________;

cock envy ***
horse_exobooks
jongin is jealous of all those chicks sehun has, especially since jongin's the one that brought them home / sehun never thought he’d have this problem.
what is this fic ide

caution tape romance ***
horse_exobooks
sehun's new roommate has a secret.
i cANNOT perfect sehun tbh

pseudologia fantastica, or something along those lines $$$
annafeu
jongin is a nympho with a bad habit and sehun doesn't really know what to do about that, but he fucks jongin a lot, and it's painful.
why do i read so much sad sekai recently. this hurts me.

good morning / goodnight ♥♥♥
myunsoo
the sun goes up and the sun goes down, but sehun and jongin stay a constant – even when two little whirlwinds land in their life and take over.
domestic sekai is everything i need??? EVERYTHINGLDadksjf also myunsoo is slowly becoming my favorite sekai writer i can't everything she does is perfect hngggggg. so yes. go read this.

on sleepless roads ♥♥♥♥
iridae
this office is where jongin thinks that sehun possibly has the potential to be his oddest patient yet, and this office is the place where jongin realises that he was right.
I AM GOING TO CRY SO HARD THIS FIC RUINED ME OMG. the beginning was so so happy and so good and perfect and wonderful and the end crushed me so badly and i stayed awake for the rest of the night and spent all morning thinking about this fic and how much it broke my apart. ~~i am probably too emotionally invested in sekai oh no.~~ i will never rec angsty sekai fics again this is my last one ITS SO GOOD AND ITS SO BAD i'm so mad at at the author but i love her so much i am so b r o k e n. this fic. oh jesus.

kkangpae ♥ $$$$$$$$$$$$
spiritkitkat
to many people, sehun doesn’t appear to fit the word kkangpae. not the image and definitely not the underground society it operates in. but jongin knows differently.
the amount of sex in this fic is unbelievably wonderful. so wonderful.

daylight robbery $$$
bluedveins
sehun has enough on his plate as it is, running his own company. he would be much better off without that annoying ceo across the street who keeps calling him 'babe'.
her writing makes me want to cry beautiful tears

water me, ultraviolet
bluedveins
risks come with consequences.
somewhat of a continuation from daylight robbery. also ceo!sekai is so hot kdjad

wildfire $$$
zitaos
those thrills that run up my back
basically post-concert smut but infatuated sekai is the best kind of sekai. sighs i wish this author still wrote, her writing is perfect <3

turns on a dime
gulpsofoxygen
this is my family. i found it all on my own. it's little and broken, but still good. yeah, still good.
ugh i've known of the existence of this fic for forever but i just never got around to reading it. also because i thought it was kaisoo-endgame which is !spoileralert! not the case. in any case, beautiful read. similar to on sleepless roads, but a little more... realistic? i guess. i don't know. wonderful, in any case <3

suspension
theafterimages
casual handjobs while they watch porn on jongin's computer is one thing. it’s the kissing sehun isn’t sure what to do about.
this is like actually really cute??? this fic like sums up sekai's relationship ugh so perfect so perfect <3

gesamtkunstwerk
exoplanet_alien
in which everyone wants to either create a masterpiece or be one, but the stage is falling apart and half the cast is made up of creative burnouts.
another of those dramatic i wanna cry after i read this stories. the sekai dynamic in this pinches my heart. i love my bbs

coming of age $$$
berryboys
jongin, still a juvenile omega, has been hung up on his friend, conservative alpha sehun for a while. he only wants, at least, to have sex with him, but sehun refuses because jongin's first heat hasn't happened yet. and also maybe because jongin has never accepted his role as an omega, and rebel ones aren't the perfect mates for someone like sehun.
YOOOO THE SEX IN THIS IS SO GOOD (lmao sorry not sorry). actually this whole fic is so cute and the ending makes me feel so many things bYE

imminent disasters: what you get when you're plastered
chuyeol
“i can’t hurry this, man, i’m shitting!”
legit one of my favorite sekai writers ever. this fic is like best college arc sekai summed up together. so cute and weird and describes their gay relationship so perfectly. wow im obsessed. ok.

measures and countermeasures
brittlepin
sehun wants his best friend to pound the heat out of him. best friend has other plans.
another take on the a/b/o verse but still so cute omg

carpe diem
chiara_sk
sehun doesn't remember how he met jongin. the only thing he knows is they were together for what it seemed like forever. they were classmates, best friends, brothers and many things else in between and beyond. they studied and grew up in the same boarding school. or at least that was what people called avebury house – a boarding school.
IM GONNA CRY DONT TOUCH ME (ps this is angst)

mollusk $$$
exollent
sehun is soft and raw when he wants to get fucked
oops

pretty ugly
chuthing
sehun learns to find love and beauty in imperfections.
set in the uglies/pretties/special universe

and i shall end this post with an influx of sekai your welcome

bollywoodrecord @ 2012-08-11T01:46:00

2012-08-11T06:46:46Z

Entry reposted from http://aupairs.livejournal.com/2236.html.

AU Pairs

2012-07-08T09:45:03Z

rules and tagging | sign-ups | join/watch

it'd mean a lot if all you guys joined, thank you very much ♥

everyday i'm tumblin'

2012-05-03T00:33:54Z

hello you guys. i got a tumblr. please come love me there. thanks ♥

kacts

2012-04-10T00:50:56Z

i don't usually do things like this, but wth. i would love you guys to write me a fic, seriously <3

{ office } anything that has to do with work settings in au's and such. something humorous and light.

{ apocalypse } never written one before, but i love reading them. something angsty, dark i guess. nothing too violent. not necessarily a zombie apocalypse, but those are nice too.

{ threeway } lol not in the sexual tense, sorry about that. love triangles, he loves her, she loves him, something along the lines of that. maybe a fourway, squares sound easier than triangles.

{ distance } adore distance relationships with all of my heart. real-life situations preferred, probably between two groups overseas?

{ thoughtless } everyone knows but them. gah, i adore this stuff so much <3

fandoms

2ne1
big bang
boa
cnblue
dbsk/jyj
f(x)
ftisland
infinite
mblaq
miss a
shinee
snsd
super junior

gd/cl - boa/yunho - lee jonghyun/seohyun - changmin/yoona - jaejoong/yoochun - minho/krystal - hongki/min - myungsoo/sungyeol - joon/joon - donghae/jessica - heechul/jessica - kyuhyun/seohyun

♥

urgent message.

2012-02-16T05:00:46Z

HELLO, MY GOOD FRIENDS.

i would just like to inform you that i am no longer posting fics.

on this journal. i've opened a comm up recently, tentanda, and made my first post today for the kpopvalentines challenge. come check it out! thank you, everyone ♥

fic meme ☺

2012-01-23T22:34:11Z

anonymous fic feedback meme ♥

unfinished - takers?

2012-01-22T02:11:56Z

For Every Broken Heart
super junior/wonder girls - sunye/donghae
scrambled mess
i was reading naladot's the way we fall apart a couple days back and was inspired. then this came out and i don't really know how to end this. just a small wip of what i'm trying to figure out about them. enjoy this ~~horrible~~ piece <3

It hits the press, and for some reason, Donghae is not surprised. He gets a feeling the night before - God's little whisper, Siwon says, and Heechul snorts and says there was no god ever since the day Hankyung left.

His eyes scan over the headline - Wonder Girl's Sunye Reveals She is in a Relationship - and he can't get farther than that. There is a picture of her under the title, and Donghae finds it slightly ironic that that is the same picture he used as his cellphone wallpaper way back when they were dating.

But that was so far back, and Donghae doesn't even think he should remember that. To him, Sunye is just another average girl, dating another average guy. To him, Sunye is a regular person. She is not famous, not an international singer, not a model or a lyricist or a composer or any of those things.

Sunye is just Sunye, so Donghae does not know why he still remembers.

The door opens, then, and Donghae glances over his shoulder to see Kyuhyun shuffle into the room, still in his pajamas. "Ryeowook is calling you for break-"

"Yeah. I'm coming."

He scrolls down from the headline nonchalantly, and Kyuhyun snorts and shoves the back of his chair. His arms are too long, Donghae thinks. Too long and too thin and much too useless. "Too late, I already saw it. I'll just ask Ryeowook to make some seafood for dinner tonight. You know, comfort food."

He laughs, and shuts the door behind him. Donghae exits out of the website, leans back against his chair, but it isn't as easy as he wants it to be. Sunye's face is still imprinted in his thoughts, reasons unknown to him or to anyone else.

His phone vibrates, and Donghae catches the first letter of the caller ID before be pushes his chair back, leaving the room.

S as in Sunye, Min Sunye, leader of the Wonder Girls.

S as in someone for her that is a him that is not him - Donghae, Lee Donghae, vocalist of Super Junior and not hers.

----

He wonders if she sees the headlines as fast as everyone else caught on. Super Junior's Donghae to Join We Got Married, Donghae and Eunseo Get Married, Are WGM's Newest Couple Already Holding Hands? That sort of thing, that Donghae would imagine everyone would notice. Should notice.

(and by everyone, he means her, but sunye is no longer accountable for the rest of the population. to him, at least. she shouldn't matter anymore, and this frustrates donghae because she does matter, and shouldn't is evidently the hint.)

He never gets a call from her when their relationships - virtual relationship, that is - is announced. No congratulations!, no I'm happy for you!, and no how could you do this to me?

Donghae could say the same about Sunye, but he categorizes himself as relatively considerate. Relatively.

Donghae wants to turn off the lights in his room, close the blinds and lay under the covers as sulk for all that is worth sulking for, but Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun are too immersed in their games of Starcraft to let him do that. Besides, if he turned off the lights, they'd probably end up going blind, and even though Donghae doesn't really care - well, Leeteuk would.

He scrolls through the Wonder Girls YouTube page and tries to convince himself that Sunye's dress in their new music video isn't too short and too tight and too revealing for him to approve of.

For strangers, at least. Strangers and other men.

"Dude, we can hear the music through your headphones. Please, turn it down," Eunhyuk calls. Just then, Kyuhyun destroys one of his ships and Eunhyuk mutters swears under his breath.

Donghae sighs and exits out of their page, leaning back against his chair. He wants this to be over, for it all to be over. He contemplates driving over to the Wonder Girls dorm and knocking on their door, whisking Sunye away when she opens the door, and taking her far, far away - down to the beach, so they can watch the sunset and hold each other's hands and kiss under the stars and not have to deal with anyone else, just themselves and themselves alone.

Sunye still hasn't called.

There is a crashing sound, and then Eunhyuk moans, and Donghae turns around to see Kyuhyun doing a little victory dance on the bed, laptop in front of him.

He sighs. Kibum was always better at this comforting stuff, anyways.

Puppet on Strings

2012-01-05T01:35:58Z

Title: Puppet on Strings
Fandoms: 2NE1, Big Bang, BoA, DBSK
Pairing(s): Yunho/CL, G-Dragon/CL, Yunho/BoA
Genre: AU, Angst, Friendship, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Chaerin learns the way of college life a little too harshly.

a/n: for the bornalady secret santa challenge - written for ladadadi. originally posted here. (i was a pinch hitter, haha)

a/n 2: this is probably the longest fic i have ever written, a little over 11,000 words, and i'm really proud of it only because i had one week to write it. cl/yunho aren't that popular of a pairing, but i had a lot of fun writing this and i appreciate everyone that reads this because it is so long and choppy. thank you ♥

The last time Chaerin was in a true relationship was during her last year in high school. His name was Jay - an exchange student from New York that didn't know any Korean apart from hello and thank you. Neither of them understood each other very well, but Chaerin really liked the way that his smile would light up the whole world. He was a happy person, despite not knowing the language, and he made Chaerin feel like a better person.

He moved back to New York as soon as the summer came around, and Chaerin never heard from him again.

She is now in her third year of university, and Chaerin has not been truly happy since then.

----

She meets Jiyoung in her second year of university. He is a music major, like her, except not like her.

Jiyoung is a rebellious kid, the type that smokes and drinks in the back of the classroom, skips school when in the mood to party, crash wherever he pleases. Jiyoung is the type of guy that lives free, set apart from boundaries that Chaerin just naturally learns to follow.

Sandara, one of Chaerin's close friends, introduces her to Jiyoung at a stereotypical, late-night weekend party, where every kid except that one drinks. Chaerin, unsurprisingly, is that one.

It isn't really an introduction, considering the first time she meets Jiyoung is while he vomits in the pool and she awkwardly rubs his back and holds his floppy blonde hair away from his face as Sandara leaves to enjoy the rest of the party.

Chaerin remembers one particular thought after Jiyoung falls back against the pavement and passes out - I'm never going to be like this.

Chaerin never keeps true to her word.

----

Her and Jiyoung become best friends after their first encounter. Most people, Chaerin would assume, would be embarrassed after a meeting like that. Jiyoung, however, runs up to her after her Physics class one day, offering to take her out for lunch after her "genuine efforts", and Chaerin finds herself not being able to refuse his offer.

They begin dating within the second semester, when Chaerin abruptly kisses him when he drops her off after another one of his parties that she becomes accustomed to.

His lips taste like alcohol and smoke, but Chaerin realizes she can't get enough of him, of his hands that run down her bare arms and finger the hem of her shirt, of the voice that sings just as well as it raps, of the mind of someone so happy and so destructive.

Chaerin loves him, she realizes, but never truly. Never more than the best friend that takes an innocent girl under his wing and turns her to hard rock and torn soul.

----

Soon after Jiyoung and her begin to date, Chaerin learns the meaning of all those terms that were thrown around in the hallways during high school. Open relationship, friends with benefits, she begins to understand that these are the ways of university life.

Nothing is ever real, ever true, and she wonders how falling in love happens when this is what people believe in.

Jiyoung explains it to her before their next outing, this one at some border district in Seoul that Chaerin only faintly recognizes. "Don't be surprised if you see me making out with some other girl," he says, his hand with hers. His fingers are rough and hard, the tips of his fingers black with cigarette ash. They still feel cool compared to Chaerin, who is burning up in her jacket.

She looks up at him strangely. Jiyoung laughs and tightens his grip on her hand, bending down to her level. "Chaerin," he begins, and his voice is soft and welcoming, "this is how we college students live. Not for each other," and he laughs. "Not for each other, but with."

Chaerin nods - she doesn't understand what he is saying, because this is new to her, but she nods anyways. Jiyoung smiles and presses his lips against hers, holding her neck with his hand, and he tastes the same as before, warming her up from head to toe.

But then he pulls back and Chaerin is cold again. She tightens her leather jacket and ignores the drop of sweat that falls from her chin.

Throughout the duration of the party, she sees Jiyoung with three other girls. Chaerin recognizes one of them - she is in her Economy class - but doesn't say anything. Jiyoung catches her eye midway through one of his kisses and winks; Chaerin smiles slightly, and then turns away, only to be met with a rough older man.

He grins - he's missing three of his front teeth, Chaerin notices - and then grunts. "Hey, sexy, how about you meet me in the backroom tonight?"

"Wha-" And she's cut off suddenly by his lips on hers, his nasty, foul, disgusting lips mingling with her own, almost forcing his tongue into her mouth. Chaerin fumbles against him, pushing, her lips pressed tight as she feels his slithering tongue slide against her bottom lip.

There is a yell, and Chaerin is abruptly tugged away. The man is suddenly off of her, and she opens her eyes to see another man throw the offender on the floor, kick him in the side harshly. He's tall, kind of tan, with black hair that goes down to his neck. It flips out and curls in, giving away the view of a silver cross earring in his left ear.

There is a voice, interrupting her thoughts. "Chaerin! Chaerin, are you okay?" She looks over and sees Jiyoung staring at her, his eyes wide and darting up and down. For the first time since she's known him, he looks worried, but she isn't able to stress about it because right then, Chaerin throws up all over Jiyoung's shoes.

The room is silent, all except for Chaerin's chokes as she heaves over and over again, and she feels Jiyoung's palm rubbing circles on her back, holding her hair away from her face. "It's okay," he whispers, "it's okay," but she doesn't really know if it is.

They leave the party minutes later, and Chaerin gets one glimpse of the man who saved her - his beady, empty eyes, his tan skin, his dark hair - before Jiyoung rushes her out the door.

(later on, when chaerin drops by his apartment with a new pair of shoes and his favorite designer jeans, jiyoung laughs and refuses to accept them.

"no, i'm making it up to you from the first time we met." he laughs again and tells her to return it, to buy something for herself.

jiyoung kisses her as she leaves, apologizes for leaving her alone like that, and chaerin isn't surprised when she sees him wearing the same jeans the next day that she'd left on his bed anyways.)

Chaerin forgets about the incident weeks later, her and Jiyoung still ‘dating’, whatever that means. Jiyoung is more careful around her, she realizes, taking hint of the small details. He doesn’t leave her sight during parties, always a couple movements away, and he doesn’t hang out with other girls as much as he used to.

(she notices the occasional make-out session with someone that isn’t her, but chaerin just pretends like she doesn’t feel her heart tugging a little bit at its used strings.)

Chaerin begins to wonder if this life is really cut out for her, but Jiyoung always manages to whisk her away at the right moments, kissing her lightly before leading her out of the house, and she always changes her mind.

----

She meets Boa her first semester of her third year at the university. She is in her English class; Chaerin already knows English, this is just an easy credit out.

Boa is the teacher’s assistant, Chaerin comes to learn. It’s when she is leaving the class one day, late in picking up her books, that Boa stops her. “Chaerin, right?” She looks up and sees the fresh-faced girl in front of her, smiling slightly. “I’ve noticed you speak English exceptionally well,” and Chaerin shrugs, modest. “We should study together sometime.”

Chaerin throws her bag over her shoulder and adjusts her shirt. “I’m not really a teacher’s pet, if you can’t tell,” she spits out, a little harsher than intended.

Boa smirks, and Chaerin just then notices the small butterfly tattoo at the side of her neck. “Neither am I,” she says, voice just as even as Chaerin’s. “Just, you know, an easy credit out.” She smiles, and then walks back to the desk in the front, the teacher long gone. “Hit me up if you ever want to take up my offer.”

Then she’s gone, and Chaerin had no idea what has just happened.

----

Boa, she later learns, is one of the most known girls in the school. “Everyone,” Jiyoung says, emphasis on the ‘everyone’, “everyone that is someone knows who Kwon Boa is.”

“That’s her real name? Boa?” Jiyoung nods and takes a sip of the soda in his hand, probably shot with some type of alcohol. “Do you know her? Like, personally?”

He gives her this incredulous look, then, but she doesn’t know what it is supposed to mean. “Of course I know her. Ask anyone.”

Chaerin takes his word for it – Jiyoung knows pretty much everyone and anyone, anyways.

It’s on one of her rare Saturday nights in, working on an English essay, when someone decides to come over. Her first guess is Sandara, because Jiyoung is supposed to be asleep, but Sandara never comes over without calling first. Maybe it’s an emergency, she thinks, but when she opens the door, there is none other than Kwon Boa standing right in front of her.

She shoves past Chaerin, kicking her heels off and dropping onto the couch comfortably. “Excuse me,” Chaerin says, confused. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

Boa is busy examining her nails, like one of those typical prep girls. “I’m surprised you didn’t take up my offer,” she says. Chaerin stares at her.

“This is what you came over to tell me?”

She looks up, then, the intruder, eyes dark and mischievous. Chaerin swallows. “You’re coming with me,” she says. Boa stands up and eyes the apartment from top to bottom, and then catches the work on the computer screen. "Working on English, I see," she mentions. She winks, and then disappears into Chaerin's room.

Chaerin scratches the back of her head, not knowing what to think, when Boa calls from the room. "You coming or what? We need to get you changed!"

Chaerin steps into her room cautiously and watches as Boa flips through the clothes in her closet. She notices the look of disdain on her face, and wants to point out that not everyone wears designer outfits on a daily basis, when Boa suddenly pulls out a dark blue number. "Put this on," Boa says, throwing the dress towards Chaerin. "It'll look nice with your hair."

"This doesn't fit me anymore," she argues. "And I've got homework to do."

Boa smirks. "That's the point," she replies, shutting the closet door with a loud bang. "And from what I hear, you're not that much of a teacher's pet, are you?" She leans against the closet and pulls out her phone, heel tapping against the floor impatiently. "What are you waiting for? Hurry up."

Chaerin finds herself leaving her apartment twenty minutes later, wearing a too-short mini and sky-high stilettos, Boa's armed linked with her own. She has no time to protest, because Boa is busy on her phone, chattering away like nobody’s business.

They arrive at a night club, loud music and neon, colored lights shining through the windows. Boa yells into the phone – have to go, babe, later! – and then looks over at Chaerin, a slight smile on her face. “Ready?” she says.

“No.”

She tosses her head back and laughs, expertly flashing her ID at the guard as she drags Chaerin in. “We’ll have fun, I promise.”

Chaerin tugs her arm away and glares at Boa. “I don’t want to have any fun. This is my night in,” she retorts. “I’ve already got a boyfriend to go partying with.”

Boa raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Jiyoung? He’s here.”

----

Jiyoung is dancing away when Chaerin goes inside. Boa has already let go of her arms, joining a small group at the corner, expensive drinks in their hands as they laugh drunkenly. Chaerin awkwardly pulls her dress down and pretends like she knows what she is doing there, walking to the bar.

“Can I have, um… Water?”

The bartender grins, and Chaerin doesn’t fail to notice the gold front tooth. She cringes. “What would you like in that?” he asks.

“Just water. Nothing else.”

“You’re at a club, dear, there’s no need to be modest. I’ve got–”

“She said she’ll have water. Did you not hear her the first time?” Chaerin looks over and meets eyes with a broad chest, covered in a striped collared shirt and suit jacket. He’s tall, seeing as she can’t really see his face without looking up and – him. From the party.

“You.” The man hands her water, and then leans back against the table. “You’re from the, the–”

“Did Boa drag you here too?” He sighs and glances at his watch, and then sighs again. “She always does this.”

Chaerin takes a sip of her water, and watches as Jiyoung grinds up against some girl. He looks like he’s having fun. She breathes heavily. She’d rather be anywhere else but here. “Do you think Boa would mind if I left?” she says, more to herself than anyone else.

The man looks over at her – Chaerin thinks she should get his name before anything – and snorts. “She wouldn’t even notice.”

“Then why did she bring me here?”

“She brings everyone here,” he says, and then steps away from the counter. “Come on, let’s go.” He brushes his hair out of his eyes and steps away, and then glances back at Chaerin. “You coming? I can go by myself.”

“I don’t – I don’t know who you are.”

He smiles. His eyes are still blank, but his smile seems real. “Sure you do. Jung Yunho, nice to meet you.” He sticks one hand out, and Chaerin takes it gently, shaking it slightly. Right then, Jiyoung pops out from behind Yunho with a dorky smile on his face. Chaerin can tell he’s been drinking.

“Chaerin! You’re here!” He leans forward and pulls her in a hug, his arms dangling lazily from her shoulders. She grimaces and pushes him off, and holds him instead by the waist.

“Jiyoung?” Yunho looks at him strangely, almost pulling him away from Chaerin. “You know her?”

“You know him?” Chaerin glances at the two, eyes darting between the both of them, and then laughs. This is all one big conspiracy, where’s she caught herself in a triangle, turning it from 180° to a full 360°.

Jiyoung turns to Yunho and puts an arm around Chaerin. "Yeah, bro, she's my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Yunho looks from Jiyoung to Chaerin, and then back again. "You're dating Jiyoung?" he says to Chaerin, and she suddenly feels guilty. She nods and shrugs Jiyoung's arm off of her. He doesn't seem to notice, too occupied waving at his lady friends in the corner. Yunho laughs, almost scornfully, and scratches his head. "So you're the infamous Lee Chaerin."

She raises her eyebrow. "Infamous?"

"Jiyoung's only real girlfriend. Seems like we're in the same boat."

"What are you talking about?"

Yunho eyes the door, and then looks back at Chaerin. "I have to run before Boa realizes that I'm missing. See you later, Lee Chaerin." He flashes a smile, and it doesn't look all that real to Chaerin anymore.

And then Yunho, Jung Yunho, is gone, and Chaerin finds herself alone again. Jiyoung is pulling her to the dance floor, and over in the corner, Boa is kissing an older male, drink in hand, and Chaerin watches as the door to the club swings open and close, open and close.

Then Jiyoung's lips are on hers, his arms around her waist. Except this time, Chaerin doesn't forget.

----

Jiyoung takes Chaerin out for lunch that weekend. He is bright and hyper, and she has trouble keeping up with his overly-enthusiastic excitement.

He is in the middle of a story about a new verse he's been working on when she interrupts him, putting a hand over his. "Jiyoung," she says, and he looks up at her tone.

"Yes?"

"You know Yunho, right? Jung Yunho?"

Jiyoung cocks his head to the side, and she watches as blonde hair falls out from underneath his hat. She swallows and wonders if he notices the lump in her throat.

He does, apparently, because then he laughs and points an accusing fork at her. "You like him, don't you?"

"What?! No!" Her eyes widen, and Chaerin waves her hands in denial.

"Don't lie to me, Lee Chaerin. I know you well enough."

"I don't! It's just... He said that I was 'infamous'. What did he mean by that?"

Jiyoung puts his fork down, then, and stares at her strangely. "He said you were infamous?" and the look in his face makes Chaerin wish she had just kept the thought in her hand. She takes her hand off of his, and then shakes her head.

"Never mind, forget I asked."

He sighs and twirls the noodles in front of him, round and round and round. The noodles becomes thicker and thicker, and she wishes he would stop. Say something, stop, just... Not that. "It's because you're my first 'real' girlfriend," he suddenly says, looking at her. "I don't usually date a girl this long."

Chaerin's mouth form into an 'o', and she nods. "Right." Jiyoung goes back to eating, then, but she isn't sure if she is finished. "But then he said we were the same," she blurts out.

Jiyoung laughs, then, but it is different from the rest of his laughs, which are easy-going and free and slightly teasing. This one is almost scornful, sarcastic in a way. "That's because he's the only real boyfriend Boa's had." Jiyoung gets up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, looking like he wants to be anywhere but there. "I have to go," he says, and Chaerin pretends she doesn't remember him saying he's got the whole day off. "See you later."

He leaves the eatery after throwing down a bill, crinkled and rumpled and worn out. Chaerin fingers the end of the bill and wishes they weren't able to relate.

But there she is, feeling just as used as money in front of her.

----

Chaerin works the Sunday night shifts at the cinema. Jiyoung claims it is only because she gets free tickets whenever she wants so the two can make out in the back seats of the theater, and she can't seem to convince him otherwise.

It is her turn to run the ticket register, out in the cold wind trapped behind a glass window. She takes a sip of her coffee and then rubs her hands together, trying to warm up. There is a knock on the window and Chaerin looks up to see Boa in front of her, a wide smile on her face.

"Chaerin!" she calls. The speaker crackles, and Chaerin winces.

"Hi," she replies awkwardly. "By yourself today?"

"Nope, brought my boyfriend." Boa pulls out from behind her a lanky figure, tall, hidden under a baseball cap. "Yunho, say hi!"

"Yunho?" Chaerin thinks back to her conversation with Jiyoung, about the two dating, and tries erasing the thought from her memories.

"Chaerin?" She looks up and sees Yunho peering down at her through the window. "You work here?"

"You two know each other?" Boa looks back and forth between the two, and then grins. "Good, then no need for introductions." Boa slaps down a credit card, slick and free of any dirt, pointing to one of the films. "We'll have two tickets for-"

Chaerin slides the credit card back and smiles. "I'll cover it, don't worry." She slides her own card through the register and pulls out two tickets, handing the slips to Boa. "Enjoy!"

Boa blows a kiss through the window and calls out a thanks, pulling Yunho along after her. She watches as Yunho nods at her quickly, before following Boa.

Chaerin sighs, and she doesn't really remember ever wanting more to admit that she only works there to get free tickets so she can make out with Jiyoung in the back seats of the theater.

----

Jiyoung throws a night-club party the weekend after their lunch date. He invites Chaerin early to help set up, which only results in them kissing against the bar as the club workers set up the place.

One arm is around her waist, the same hand playing with the hem of her dress, which is nothing short of scandalous. Jiyoung smirks against her lips and pulls Chaerin in his lap, running his free hand through her blonde locks. Chaerin presses him back, farther back until he's almost laying against the table, and fingers the tips of his hair. His lips slide away from her mouth, down to her neck, and she feels a pinch against her flesh. "Ah, Jiyoung-"

"Not waiting until the party is over?" Jiyoung pulls away from her neck, and Chaerin gets up, turning around to see none other than Boa standing there, Yunho lounging behind her.

"You're early." Jiyoung smirks and wraps an arm around Chaerin's waist, pulling her close, and Chaerin wishes she didn't feel so embarrassed. There is something about the look on Yunho's face that makes her cringe, inwardly and externally.

Boa sneers and struts towards the two, her skirt about as tight as the skin covering her bones. Her shirt hangs loose above it, just enough so that if she raised her arms even a little bit, Chaerin would be able to see the flat stomach underneath. "Well, we didn't have much else to do."

Behind her, Yunho is messing with one of the light stands, like he doesn't know anyone else in the club.

Jiyoung lets go of Chaerin and holds his arm out to Boa, who graciously accepts it, and he goes about showing her around the club as if she can't do it on her own. The doors open a while later, and in minutes, the place is flooded with guests that Chaerin barely recognizes.

The end result ends up being Jiyoung and Boa grinding near the stage. Chaerin catches the kiss blown to Yunho every often, and Jiyoung will even wink at her once or twice of his social hour.

She takes a sip of her water and almost jumps out of her skin when a voice next to her interrupts her thoughts. "So, think we should be doing the same?"

Chaerin looks over and sees Yunho resting against the bar. It's become her new home after the countless nights out, so much so the bartender addresses her on a first name basis. "What?"

"You know, like Boa and Jiyoung are doing." He motions over to them with the glass in his hand. It's got an amber liquid in it, probably some type of alcohol mixture, but Chaerin is too afraid to ask. She doesn't really know why.

"No! Why would we do that?!"

He laughs and takes a sip of his drink. "I'm kidding. I don't do that type of stuff." Chaerin huffs and turns around so she's facing the bartender, sliding the glass towards him. Yunho turns around too, resting his arms on the table. "You not a dancer?"

Her glass slides back and Chaerin picks out an ice cube, dropping it in her mouth. "Nope. I'm a music major, not a dance major."

"You don't need to be a dance major to know how to dance."

Chaerin glances at him. "Well, still. I don't know how to dance." She stirs the liquid in her glass, cold water and ice, and watches as the ice slowly becomes smaller and smaller, melting until it finally disappears. "So why aren't you out there? Aren't you a dance major?"

"Well-"

"Yunho!" Chaerin turns around and watches as Boa waves at her, pulling Yunho towards the speakers. "Come on, let's go dance!" He doesn't protest, only stumbles forward as Boa begins moving her body to the beat. She's fluid in her movements, Chaerin notices. They come to her naturally. For a second, she wonders what Boa can't do, but then Jiyoung is by her side again.

"You wanna go dance too?"

She shakes her head, muttering the same excuse she did to Yunho. Unlike Yunho, however, Jiyoung just laughs and pushes her to the dance floor anyways. He grabs her hands and puts them on his hips, shifting them side to side, and Chaerin finds herself getting immersed in a life that isn't really hers.

Her and Jiyoung leave the night club drunk, even though the only alcohol that has touched her lips is from his own, and fall asleep in her apartment, partially naked and fully insane.

----

Math is probably Chaerin's worst subject. She's not much of a school person, really, but this is the only way she's managing to stay on the campus grounds without paying for the tuition. Jiyoung's naturally smart, and Chaerin envies him, for being musically talented and academically gifted, popular and good-looking and that triple threat that everyone - including her - wishes to be.

After ordering a quick drink and a grilled snack, Chaerin settles at the back of the cafe, papers surrounding her and a laptop sitting on the table, playing rap music that she can't really make sense of.

She flips the textbook open to a random page. The words are a blur in front of her, a mix of letters and numbers and random symbols that she's never seen before. Chaerin sighs, ripping a clean sheet of paper from a binder, and finds the first question.

Seconds pass, turning into minutes, and it takes her fifteen of them to work the first half of problem one. A waitress comes by and drops off her order, smiling and telling her to enjoy her meal. Chaerin grins back - it's forced, more than anything else, but it is still there, and so the waitress leaves.

The minutes turn into hours, and before Chaerin knows it, it is almost nine o'clock. She sighs and turns to the last page of her homework, wondering why she still feels like a middle schooler when she's already studying for her degree. There is a tap on her shoulder, then, and Chaerin looks up to see Yunho casually flipping through his phone. He types out a message, and then glances at Chaerin. She stares back.

His mouth is moving quickly, but she can't understand anything he is saying. "What?" Yunho says it again, and she makes hand motions, looking back down at her papers - I can't hear you.

He sighs, leans over, and she suddenly feels her left headphone being yanked out. "What?!" she demands. Yunho rolls his eyes.

"Scoot over."

"Why?" Chaerin grabs her school items protectively, glowering at him. "I'm studying."

He folds his arms across his chest, and she really doesn't think he can look any more intimidating. "There aren't any other seats." Chaerin takes his eyes away from his to look around the cafe - when did it get so crowded? "Shove over." Yunho sits down in the little space next to her, and she glares at him, moving over so she is pressed up against the wall and he is pressed up against her.

Studying proves to be a difficult challenge, as Chaerin's arm keeps elbowing Yunho and his constant shifting keeps pushing her against the wall.

"Will you stop pushing me?" she finally voices, looking over at Yunho. "I have a math test tomorrow, and if I don't study, then-"

"I'm leaving, anyways." Yunho stands up, stretches, and takes a sip of Chaerin's drink. "Night."

Then he is gone, the door closing to a stop behind him, and Chaerin doesn't really question not knowing how to make friends.

----

The second night in the cafe goes by less crowded. Her Chemics outline is due tomorrow, and while she is better at chemistry than any type of math, it does not make Chaerin any much better at it.

She takes her same spot in the cafe, same food, same waitress, same music playing on the same laptop. The only difference is the number of papers surrounding her - which have only increased - the two textbooks sitting in her lap, and the empty spot next to her. Chaerin cannot say she is grateful for any of it, the increased amount of work or space.

That is, until a figure sits down on the seat across from hers, black hood and all. Chaerin looks up and sees Yunho sitting there, still fumbling with his phone. This time, though, he has got headphones plugged into his ears, and he doesn't even seem to notice the strange look she's giving him.

Chaerin taps on his side of the table impatiently. Yunho looks up at her and takes out one of his earplugs, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"There are plenty of other seats open. Go pick another one."

"I like this seat."

Chaerin scoffs in disbelief, rolling her eyes. "I was here first!"

He shrugs. "Doesn't make a difference to me." Yunho plugs his hanging headphone back in and turns back to his phone.

Chaerin sighs, deciding she can only turn back to her papers. Her professor mentioned to include a certain scientist, but she can't remember his name, and it has to be in her notes somewhere...

Chaerin barely ends up noticing Yunho's presence, not even as his legs find themselves propped up against the empty space next to her and across from him, shaking along to the music so much that his feet end up bumping her arm from time to time. She just turns her music up a little louder and hopes to not get any of the lyrics mixed with the thoughts in her head.

Yunho and Chaerin end up sharing the same soda cup, his minty breath mixed with her fruity one, their lip stains on the same spot on the shared plastic cup that only ends up going down the waste basket, insignificant like pretty much everything else in her life.

----

Sunday night comes around and this time, Chaerin is working the theater shift. The broom in her hand, each movie brings more littered popcorn, freshly dropped soda, and ticket stubs covering the floors and seats.

She always offers to work the horror movies, because Chaerin doesn't get scared. She doesn't really know if it is an advantage or not, because while it makes for a wider variety of fun, Chaerin just wants to feel that adrenaline pumping next to her blood, running through her veins, that fear drowning her mind and soul and taking her over.

Oh, look, another popcorn bucket. This one is a supreme.

"Having fun?" Chaerin turns around and sees a lanky silhouette in front of the projector screen, his black shadow blunt against the white. She scoffs and leans to the ground, picking up the bucket and throwing it towards the trash can at the end of the aisle. It bounces against the inside, and then comes to a stop next to all the other trash. Score. "You should be a basketball player."

"What do you want?"

He leans back against the screen, and it shifts underneath his weight. The blue light reflects against his tan skin and - "Yunho?"

Yunho laughs at her expression, crossing his arms over his chest. "Who did you think it was?"

"Ji-" Chaerin cuts off and turns back to the floor.

"Who?" She sighs and bends down to the floor. This is the second wallet she's found in one movie. Some people really are just careless. "Jiyoung?"

Chaerin stands up and looks at Yunho, who is still resting against the screen. "What do you want?"

"I just came to see a movie." He stands up straight, then. Against the massive screen, he looks small, and it makes Chaerin feel kind of better. She is so used to him as someone hugely built, like a security guard for the president. Or Lady Gaga.

She falls back against one of the seats, letting the broom drop to the floor. Yunho walks up the steps and shuffles into the thin aisle, dropping into the seat next to her. There is a click from up above them, and then the reel starts rolling, the movie beginning to play again. Yunho glances at her, and she smiles. "The movie plays at intervals. The guy that works the movies usually leaves after the last movie, and he's always forgetting to close the machine." She props her legs up against her chest and rests her head on her knees. "Free movie for me."

Yunho laughs and settles back against his seat. "I guess I can watch two movies for the price of one."

She looks at him strangely, shaking her head. "You are a strange one."

"I know." He smiles at her, and they stare at each other for a couple of seconds. The corners of his eyes are crinkled up in folds, and Chaerin really wants to smooth them out, feel his rough skin underneath her fingertips.

Instead, she turns back to the screen, and watches as the title flashes up. This is her third time watching this movie.

"You know," she suddenly says as the first scene begins, and he looks over at her. "Jiyoung is the only one that visits me during my shift. Sandara comes sometimes, but Jiyoung - Jiyoung always comes." Chaerin smiles.

"I'm not here to visit you," Yunho says, turning back to the screen.

She looks over at him, glaring. "I was just saying." Chaerin crosses her arms over her legs, and wiggles her toes in her converse. She kind of wishes Jiyoung was there.

Midway through the movie, Chaerin begins getting too comfortable, her head falling over to the side and hitting his shoulder. She shifts up and yawns, resting her head on the other side of the seat. Yunho turns over to look at her. "Tired?" Chaerin shakes her head, covering her mouth as another yawn leaves. "You can go to sleep. I'll wake you up at the end of the movie."

"I'm not tired, I'll be fine."

He shrugs. "Whatever you say."

Chaerin ends up falling asleep anyways, her head propped up on her fist, eyes closed and hair falling over her face. If she were awake, she would hear Yunho laugh at how she is not one of those stereotypical girls in those cliché movies, the ones that fall asleep on the guy's shoulder. She would hit him and say the same to him, about him not being one of those cheesy guys that leans over and kisses the girl's forehead in a weak attempt at skinship.

When she wakes up, the credits are rolling, and the seat next to her is empty. Chaerin stretches, yawns again. She stands up, and there is no crunching underneath her shoes, no rustling or crackling. She smiles; he cleaned up before he left.

The broom and the trash can are at the corner of the movie theater when she gets down, and she laughs. Reaching up to fix her bangs, a slip of paper falls, and Chaerin grabs it before it hits the floor.

The movie sucked. There is a number scribbled underneath, barely legible but just enough so she can make out the digits.

When she gets back to her apartment later that night, Chaerin makes sure to pull out the sticky note, texting the number. Thanks for waking me up, jackass.

It is when she is settled in bed, covers over her head, lights turned off, that Chaerin finally gets a text back. No problem ;) She laughs and tucks the phone under her pillow, and she doesn't remember having a better sleep than that night.

----

It becomes a nightly routine, Mondays through Fridays. Chaerin studies at the cafe, Yunho in the empty seat across from her, his legs propped up on the small space next to her. It becomes a place for her to set her binders when the table gets too crowded, and Yunho doesn't even seem to mind all that much.

Chaerin wonders if falling into a cycle is this easy.

The sun comes up, the moon goes down, day turns to night and night back into day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner swallowed, a snack every now and then, school here, party there, and she wonders how fitting Yunho into this happens.

Jiyoung tells her she smiles a little more one day.

Chaerin didn't think he noticed that she smiled in the first place, but she just shoves a piece of her bread into his mouth, telling him to stop looking like such an idiot. He grins, and she tries to not laugh, failing.

Yunho doesn't talk that much, and Chaerin doesn't either, and she guesses that is why their relationship - friendship, mutualism, whatever it is - works out so well.

Occasionally, though, he will say something only slightly amusing, but it is so random and uncalled for that Chaerin will laugh anyways, and even though Yunho will roll his eyes at her nonexistent maturity, he will smile too, and then they both end up laughing and she knows that she can't be any happier than this. Yunho has got a certain charm for someone that lives in their lifestyle, where it is all about open relationships and a kiss for someone that isn't their other.

Chaerin begins to wonder when she became so two-faced when Jiyoung kisses her one day, and she doesn't melt back against him. She feels like one of those girls that Jiyoung makes out with at the club where she watches off to the side, and Chaerin hates the feeling. It is overwhelmingly disgusting.

Jiyoung drops her hand, pulls back, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "You smile a lot more," he says, and his voice is bitter, "but it's not because of me, is it?" He smirks, then, and hooks his bag over his shoulder.

He leaves, and Chaerin doesn't bother to stop him.

That's when she realizes that she fits Yunho into her routine by kicking Jiyoung out.

----

Chaerin calls Jiyoung the one Friday he doesn't call her. He picks up after five rings, his voice hollow and deep. "Can we go out?" she asks. Her own voice comes out almost trembling, afraid and on the verge of cracking.

She breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn't ask any questions. "Sure, I'll pick you in twenty." The dial clicks, and Chaerin lets the phone drop to the floor. Her wardrobe is almost all strewn across the bedroom when Jiyoung finally arrives, a minute early (not that she's been counting, anyways).

She steps into his car wearing a barely-passable mini, her stilettos with spikes on the heels, but Jiyoung doesn't even give her a second glance. He just leans over and kisses her lightly - it tastes like skin, but Chaerin still holds the back of his neck, pressing her lips against his. Jiyoung pulls back and smiles at her slightly, and he turns to the steering wheel too quickly to notice the single drop of water that leaves her eye.

They arrive at a bar a while later, the music so loud that she can hear it from a couple blocks down. Jiyoung throws an arm around her shoulder and struts into the bar with as much charisma as one human being could possible possess. He cheers loudly as soon as he sees the bartender. "Shots for me and my lady!" he calls. A few of the men look over at her, and she hears their shouts and whistles. Normally, Jiyoung would've pulled her in closer, but this time, he just winks back at all the men and whistles along. Chaerin suddenly regrets ever calling Jiyoung. One Friday alone wouldn't have hurt anyone.

He pulls out a stool for her and takes a seat next to her, ordering a couple of shots. Chaerin leans over to Jiyoung, whispering, "I don't drink, remember?"

"Ah, right." He smiles at her, turning back to the bartender. "Virgin for the lady," he says. Jiyoung's arm is back on her shoulder, uncomfortably warm compared to the rest of her.

Jiyoung falls into the rhythm of the bar easily, only minutes when he is out of his seat, telling one of the female waitresses to turn up the music. Chaerin isn't in the mood to remind him that this isn't a club, and she is the one that called him on this date.

The music brings men to the middle of the bar - tables and chairs pushed aside, some of them with lady friends and some of them without. The dance spur also brings the waitresses in the middle. Chaerin cringes as Jiyoung grabs one of them by the hips, grinding against her and whispering soft promises into her ear that she's probably heard before.

The next move doesn't really come as a surprise. Jiyoung and the girl are dancing, dancing away, when a drunk man bumps into Jiyoung and starts yelling. Chaerin watches as Jiyoung tells the man to calm down, taking a sip of the alcohol in his hand and offering some to the offender. The man throws it to the side and the glass bottle breaks, shards flying everywhere. One of them pierces the girl's leg, and suddenly, Jiyoung's eyes turn black. He punches the man square in the jaw, yelling, screaming, shouting foul insults.

Chaerin watches from the side as the two engage in a heated fight, the girl shrieking uselessly. Jiyoung ends up on top of the man, punching his face left and right. "You - fucking - bastard!" he yells, each word bringing another blow. "You - touched - my - girl-"

Chaerin covers her ears, stumbling as she rushes out of the bar so she won't have to hear the rest of his sentence. Her dress catches on the hook of a chair and rips, clean through the sheer material, forming a slit from her thigh to just above her waist. She kicks the chair away, hands still on her ears, and runs out of the bar as fast as her heels will take her.

It is only when Chaerin can't hear the loud music through her hands that she finally slows down to a walk, limping to somewhere that isn't there.

----

Monday night comes around and Chaerin almost doesn't go to the cafe. Her legs are aching, and there is a cut on her thigh from where the hook ripped through her dress and flesh. She feels hung-over from two nights before, even though she didn't drink anything.

Chaerin ends up forcing herself out of bed, throwing on a sweat suit and sneakers, flinging her bags over her shoulders.

She gets there half an hour later than she usually arrives. Chaerin doesn't even notice Yunho already in their spot until he kicks her lightly. "Huh?" She glances up and sees him look at her strangely, phone in his hand. "You're here?"

He shifts back against the seat and watches as she struggles to pull her laptop out of its case, almost throwing it to the floor in exasperation when it doesn't listen to her. "Need help?" Chaerin sighs and leaves it to the side, shaking her head. It isn't that important anyways.

They sit together in silence like they normally do, except it isn't normal. Chaerin feels uncomfortable and awkward and insignificant, and she just wants to go back to her apartment, curl up in bed and sleep off the nightmare that doesn't seem to ever end.

Chaerin pulls out one of her older binders and flips the cover. She stares at the sheet, the words a jumbled mess in front of her, making no sense no matter how closely she looks. She catches the title of a novel that she read the beginning of the year and snorts. Jiyoung liked that book, didn't he? Jiyoung liked to read. He always said it was the child of music.

Yunho leans closer to Chaerin, watching as she flips each page slowly. Her eyes are blank and there is a scornful smile on her face. "Is something wrong?" he asks. She glances up and shakes her head, and the smile disappears, replaced with a blank stare. "Are you sure?"

She sighs. "Yes. I'm just kind of tired."

"You positive? I take you home if-"

"I told you, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine-"

"I'm fine, damn it, I'm fine!" Chaerin's hands slam down on her books, and she looks up at Yunho, eyes blazing. "Why the hell do you care anyways? You've never given a shit about me or anyone else before. Why the hell do you care now? You've probably got a hundred other girls to be taking care of, just like Jiyoung! You're just like Jiyoung! You're all the fucking same!" Her heart is pounding and her chest is moving up and down rapidly, and Chaerin just wants it all to stop. She wants to disappear, because she hates feeling worthless and useless and invisible.

Chaerin doesn't even know the problem anymore. She just wants it to end.

"Chaerin." And then, she really looks at Yunho, up at his voice when he says her name, and she feels so guilty. He is looking at her with confusion in his eyes, and something else. It almost... It almost looks like pain, but not her, not even Chaerin could cause someone to look that hurt and-

"I - I'm sorry, I have to go," she suddenly says. Her hands fly over her binders, fumbling and unsteady. Trembling, she picks up her books repeatedly as they fall, not properly in her grasp. Yunho catches the curse words lining her lips as she bustles over everything, and he stands up hurriedly.

"Here, let me help you-"

"No, no, just don't touch me," she mumbles, throwing the books in her bag. Chaerin grabs her laptop bag and almost knocks his coffee over in the process, and she mumbles weak attempts at apologies. He watches as she almost runs out of the cafe, eyes dark and heavy, blonde hair flying behind her.

If Chaerin had turned around, she would have seen the hurt look on Yunho's face, her favorite pen twirling in his hand because someone was in such a hurry.

But there are no if's in their story - there is no their story, because Chaerin is with Jiyoung and Yunho is with Boa and Chaerin and Yunho are not their own, off to the side, a love story of two people who don't really know how to escape this life.

The tears don't hit Chaerin's eyes until she is inside her apartment, under the covers, lights out and stars shining. She cries for all there is and all there isn't, for what she wants and what she has, she cries, slowly and softly and never-ending.

The tears never come for Yunho.

----

Chaerin, to no one's surprise, does not go to the cafe on Tuesday.

She finds herself at the park across the main school ground in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. She is dressed in the same clothes that she wore on her last date with Jiyoung, dress still ripped and heels still painful.

She slips her heels off as soon as the ends of her toes brush the grass, cautiously stepping on to the green blades. They rustle under her feet, soft and smooth and all Chaerin really wishes she was. The wind is blowing and she wants to be cold, but she is too relaxed to feel anything.

Chaerin takes her spot in the dead center of the park, legs pressed against her chest and arms around her legs. She hears a group of kids walk down the street, laughing loudly. They seem to be drunk - happy and drunk and maybe in love, maybe not, because she doesn't really know what it means.

The minutes pass by quickly, and Chaerin wishes she could stay there forever. It is so peaceful and quiet and -

Someone moves behind her, then, stepping quietly. Chaerin stiffens, and then relaxes when she realizes that she doesn't really mind. A stranger could come and take her away, and at least then she would feel wanted. Then a voice breaks their barrier, and the person sits down next to her. "Hey."

She turns around and almost runs away when she sees him sitting next to her. "What are you doing here?"

Yunho smiles and settles in the same position that she is in. "Just walking around. Then I saw you."

"You can go back to wherever you came from." She turns away from him, sighing and burying herself in her knees. The air has suddenly gone cold, and the wind is blowing harder than before. She shivers.

"Why are you wearing that when it's so cold?"

Chaerin doesn't answer. She only wraps her arms tighter around her legs and blows out on her knees, appreciating the given warmth of her breath. Next to her, Yunho shifts, and then she feels a jacket placed over her shoulders. Chaerin shrugs, letting it fall off, but he only picks it up and puts it back on her.

They do the same thing two other times until Yunho finally just holds his jacket over her shoulders. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?" she spits back. "I didn't ask you to come here."

"You didn't ask with words," he whispers. Chaerin feels him finger the ends of her hair, and she sighs. "What's wrong?" he repeats, and she really just wants to give in.

When she doesn't answer, Yunho wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her towards him, stretching his legs out so she can rest against his collarbone. "I just," she finally says, letting out a trembling sigh, "I just want to be happy." Yunho smiles, hand on her knee. "Jiyoung doesn't even like me." Chaerin laughs scornfully, and he feels a tear drop on his hand. "I don't even know if I care."

His hand falls to her side, and Yunho listens to Chaerin breathe heavily. He strokes her side, suddenly feeling flesh. "What is this?" She looks over and sees his hand on the skin where her dress is torn.

"My dress ripped," she mumbles. His hand feels so warm against her cold skin.

Yunho stands up, and she watches as he moves to her other side, covering the exposed skin. Chaerin wishes she was still cold, because his warmth is too inviting. They sit together, his arm around her, jacket over her shoulders, when she looks over at Yunho. His profile is long and defined under the moonlight, and Chaerin is suddenly envious of Boa for all she has.

Yunho looks over, then, his nose almost brushing hers, and when their lips meet, Chaerin forgets to listen to her heart break.

Tears roll down her cheeks, and Yunho reaches up, brushing them away. Chaerin wraps her arms around his neck and even though the jacket falls to the ground, she stays warm with his body so close to hers.

They kiss three times, each one longer and harder and deeper than the previous, when Yunho picks Chaerin up, his lips still against hers.

They have sex at his apartment an hour later, slow and passionate and everything Chaerin wanted Jiyoung to be. But Yunho is so much more, and his body molds so perfectly against hers, and she could just press her lips against his forever, curl her hands into his hair and never let go.

When she wakes up the next morning, Yunho is gone, but there is a note on the refrigerator, short and sweet and just enough for Chaerin to keep believing. Thank you for everything. I'll see you later, Lee Chaerin ♥

----

When Chaerin gets the invite for Boa's night club party, she throws it into the nearest wastebasket and doesn't think a second time about it.

Then there is a knock on her door Saturday night, and Jiyoung enters her apartment dressed in his favorite designer jeans and the shirt she'd gotten him for his 21st birthday, demanding that she get dressed because Boa isn't letting him or her miss out on this stupid party.

Half an hour later, Chaerin is seated in the passenger seat of Jiyoung's sports car, wearing what every college student wears to a conventional night club. Jiyoung has the music turned up to its loudest, still attempting to talk over it, and Chaerin wonders if he remembers their last night out at the bar.

She almost opens the car door, wanting to jump out, but Jiyoung doesn't seem to give a damn about anything or anyone at the moment, so she ends up just folding her hands tightly in her lap and waiting to get there so she can finally get out.

They arrive and the party is already in motion, the whole club basically bouncing to the beat of the music. There are girls mixing with guys in the middle, all brushed up against each other, and all Chaerin smells is sweat and perfume and cologne and alcohol - so much alcohol that she really doesn't even want to breathe, let alone dance with some random guys that she doesn't know the names of.

Jiyoung pulls her to the bar and orders a straight soju in a bottle, telling the bartender to give Chaerin the same. "I don't drink, Jiyoung," she tells him, pulling at his sleeve, but he ignores her and just smiles at the bartender when he gives out the drinks.

Jiyoung holds out the bottle to Chaerin, already taking a swig of his own. "I don't want this," she says.

"Just try it."

Chaerin smells it and almost passes out at the overwhelmingly bitter smell. "No, I can't. You have it. I'll just get some water." She turns back to the bartender, opening her mouth, when she feels Jiyoung's hand pressing her back.

"Try it, Chaerin," he says, and he's talking in that same tone like when he first explained to her the rules of college dating, soft and sweet and deceiving. "You just have to get used to it, and then it starts to taste great." Jiyoung smiles, watching as she picks the bottle back up, eyeing it carefully.

Chaerin swallows and looks at him. He nods, and then the bottle is at her lips, the liquid just barely brushing her lips.

Chaerin should be used to this by now, should be used to the taste because of Jiyoung's lips always on hers, but this is different. The drink goes past her tongue, burning it, and then travels down to her throat. It burns the inside of her throat and settles uncomfortably in her stomach, and Chaerin really wants to throw it up. But she just keeps drinking, keeps swallowing and letting it scratch her insides until the last drop hits her tongue. Then she lets the bottle drop from her hands, and she doesn't even hear it break against the floor.

Jiyoung's eyes are crinkled up at the corners just as his smile, and he is proud, and Chaerin does not know why. She gives him an awkward grin back and then turns to the bartender. "Can I have some water?" she whispers, but no matter how much of it she drinks, the disgusting taste of alcohol never leaves her lips.

Jiyoung pulls her to the dance floor and tells her to let the adrenaline run through her veins. Chaerin doesn't know what that means, but she tries to follow along in his movements anyways, follow along in the body motions that look so good on him and so awkward on her.

They keep on dancing, and all that is running through Chaerin's head is leaving. She wants to go back to the park, where it was comfortable and quiet and warm and peaceful and - Yunho.

Yunho, he has to be here, this is Boa's party and him and Boa are Chaerin pushes away from the rest of the crowd and stumbles out, trying to find her way to him, see if he is there. Jiyoung calls after her, but she doesn't even realize that it is the first time that he noticed she left.

She searches around, looking around the bar and near the stage and towards the speakers, but she doesn't find him.

And then suddenly, Chaerin sees a tall figure, black hair atop his head, wispy and going in and out, and she spots the dangling silver cross earring, and she opens her mouth to call his name - but he is kissing another girl. Chaerin looks closer, and it isn't even Boa. It is just some random girl, and when he let's go and turns around, he catches Chaerin's stare and just winks.

He just winks, and her heart just breaks.

"Chaerin!" Jiyoung runs up to her, his eyes wide, grabbing on to her hands. "Why did you leave? We can just talk, if you want-"

"No, no, I want to go. I'm leaving." She shoves him off of her and turns around, almost tripping over a wire. Jiyoung grabs her arm, his expression shouting worries. Chaerin mutters incoherent excuses and continues stumbling out, waving her hands as Jiyoung tries to follow her.

"Come back," he whispers, and she shakes her head. Jiyoung watches helplessly as she walks out of the club, and it comes to Chaerin's surprise when he suddenly runs out of the club and grabs her hand. "I'm coming with you."

The two find themselves at Chaerin's apartment an hour later. Chaerin goes into her room, telling Jiyoung to wait on the couch, and for the first time, he decides to listen. She undresses until she is wearing only lingerie and a light cardigan. "Jiyoung," she finally calls, her back facing the door.

Chaerin hears the door open and stiffens, relaxing when she hears him ask if she is okay. She sighs, and then nods. Jiyoung lets out a long-held breath. "I can leave, if you want me to."

Chaerin shakes her head, and then slowly turns around. Her eyes are downcast, but she can feel his stares running up and down her body. "I - I'll leave now," he says, but she only takes a step closer to him.

Jiyoung is pressed up against the wall when she finally reaches him, her hands pressed on his chest. Chaerin looks up into his eyes, and she wonders if he notices the tears welled up in her eyes. She presses a kiss against his lips, and they are still as soft as they were the first time she kissed him. Jiyoung's arms are motionless, but he kisses her back anyways.

When she let's go, her eyes are blazing, and Chaerin grabs at the collars of his shirt, pulling him down to her level. She keeps pulling him until they fall back against the bed, him on top of her. Chaerin kisses him again, except this time, Jiyoung pulls back.

"No. I'm not doing this, not when you're - when you're like this and-"

"Just fuck me," she growls, still holding his collar.

Jiyoung reaches up to loosen her grip. "No."

"Yes."

"No, Chaerin, I'm not having sex with you."

He fingers at her grasp, trying to get her to let go, but Chaerin just holds him tighter. She wants this, and she is not giving up for the first thing she has truly desired in her life. Second, maybe, but Chaerin doesn't want - doesn't need to think about him right now. "Please, Jiyoung," she finally whispers, her head falling back against the bed, "give me this one thing. Please." A tear falls from her eye, both pupils no longer burning, now replaced with want. Pure, unforgivable want.

Jiyoung smoothes her hair down and leans down, kissing her softly.

They have sex four times that night, and each time, Chaerin just feels Jiyoung going deeper and deeper inside of her. She claws at his back, hard enough to leave marks on his flesh, but it doesn't better, because it feels so good. Everything, him, his skin, his lips on her, his floppy, sweaty hair, everything.

In the morning, it is Chaerin that is gone from the apartment. She leaves a note, too, almost the exact same as Yunho's. Thank you for everything. I'll see you later, Kwon Jiyoung ♥

Except this time, Chaerin hopes that it isn't enough for Jiyoung to keep believing, exactly like she had only nights before.

----

Chaerin breaks up with Jiyoung a day later. She arrives at his apartment, carrying only the necklace he'd given her as a birthday present, their initials engraved on the back of the silver heart.

He opens the door, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she almost breaks down right there.

But almost is not quite yet, because she doesn't.

Chaerin takes a deep breath and then holds out the hand carrying the necklace. He stares at it, his blank expression not going unnoticed. "I think-"

"We should break up," he finishes, taking the necklace and letting it dangle on its chain.

Chaerin stares up at him. "I'm sorry."

He scoffs and leans against the doorpost, and she wishes this wasn't such a casual event. "For what? Not liking me anymore?" Jiyoung takes her hand and opens it, dropping the necklace back. "I don't want this."

"Jiyoung-"

"Don't worry," he says, smiling. It is bitter and sorrowful, but it is still genuine. "I'm not mad. I still hope we can be friends." Jiyoung leans down and kisses her, and Chaerin tastes his skin, and nothing more. "Thanks for everything."

"You - you too." She smiles back, and then sighs. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Sure thing. And this doesn't mean you can miss out on my parties."

Chaerin nods, and then takes a step back. She smiles, and when she turns around, she feels relieved. Like a massive weight has been taken off of her shoulders and blown into the wind for someone else to take on. She hears the door shut behind her, and a single tear slips down her tear, but she wipes it away and another one never follows.

(her heart hurts a little bit when he doesn't open the door and call back for her, promising to be better, but jiyoung is jiyoung and he is not meant for her.

her heart still hurts a little bit, because chaerin will always love jiyoung. always.

just never more than the best friend that took an innocent girl under his wing and turned her to hard rock and soul.)

----

Chaerin doesn't go to the cafe the rest of the week. She ends up studying in her apartment, room closed, instrumental music playing on her laptop, the lights dimmed everywhere except at the desk that she is working on.

She turns her cell off, unplugs the television, even adds parental controls to her laptop so she won't get distracted, but Chaerin ends up not being able to concentrate anyways.

She ends up falling asleep with her English essay half finished on the computer, Physics textbook in her arms, and a pencil dangling from between her fingers. Yunho's favorite song is playing on the laptop, and Jiyoung's necklace is loosely around her necklace.

When she turns her phone on again after school ends the next day, there is no text message from Yunho, no missed call from Jiyoung. Chaerin does not bother reading any of the other texts, opting to just fall over on her bed and eat ice cream.

She doesn't ever remember feeling so empty - but then again, not everyone is like Chaerin.

(broken)

----

Sandara wakes Chaerin up Saturday morning, banging on the door and demanding that she get her lazy ass off of the goddamn bed and out for some damn socializing, quote.

Chaerin opens the door with bed hair and old, worn pajamas on, and almost falls over as Sandara grabs her by the arm and practically shoves her into the shower. "Take a shower, get dressed - and you better look hella nice, jackass. We're going out." She doesn't say where or when, just slams the door on Chaerin's face.

When the older girl comes out half an hour later, hair straightened, her favorite shirt and skinny jeans on, she finds Sandara holding one of Chaerin's large tote bags, almost filled to the brim. "What are you-"

Sandara cuts her off, hooking the bag over her shoulder and grabbing Chaerin's arm. "Come on, we have to go."

She rushes out the door, her arm still around Chaerin's, the two are too busy to notice the man standing on Chaerin's doorstep, waiting to talk to her.

They end up going shopping, bowling, to the pool, out to eat, everything Chaerin has missed doing since becoming involved in 'that' crowd. Sandara smiles brightly and tells Chaerin she should wear make-up less, because her natural beauty is much prettier than all the products other people have to apply. She laughs at her own lame jokes, a whirlwind of energy, and Chaerin has never had this much fun out with anyone else.

They stumble back to Sandara's apartment giggly and drunk off of each other's excitement, and they both flop on to Sandara's queen bed. Chaerin kisses Sandara square on the cheek and laughs. "Thanks, Dara," she mumbles.

Sandara turns over to look at Chaerin and grabs her face in her own hands. "I just want you to be happy," she whispers. "I can tell you aren't happy anymore." Chaerin shrinks away and pulls the covers over her, and the smile on her face disappears. "Just... Just do what you think is best, okay? Because not everybody is the same." Sandara moves closer to Chaerin, wrapping her arm around the older girl's head and pulls her in. "Not everybody is the same."

Chaerin tries to hold the phrase close to her, whispering the same five words over and over again. Not everybody is the same. Not everybody is the same.

The words stay in her head, but she doesn't think they ever keep true to her heart.

----

Chaerin goes to the cafe Monday night, laptop bag over one shoulder and school bag over the other. She takes her (their) usual spot in the back, ordering the same grilled snack and soft drink. Her math textbook comes out, followed by a pile of papers to finish the homework she's endlessly being assigned.

Yunho comes in half an hour later, taking his spot across from her, headphones in his ears and phone in his hand.

His feet come up to Chaerin's side minutes later, and she drops a textbook on his legs as a placeholder.

She aces her math test the next day, the highest grade in the class.

Passed the test, jackass.

Her phone lights up only seconds later, vibrating in its spot on her bed.

Of course you did :)

multi-fandom drabbles

2011-12-30T07:27:47Z

you're pretty - pretty awkward
dbsk/snsd - changmin/yoona
He has known her for almost ten years, and Changmin wonders why whenever she comes near him, Yoona still manages to blow him away with her beauty.

Maybe that's why he doesn't always talk to her on stage. Maybe that's why he just stands behind Yunho or Kyuhyun whenever they strike up a coversation with her. Maybe that's why it is easier to like her from the background, so everyone else can admire her just as much as he does.

It is when he is talking to Kyuhyun one day about going out to lunch sometime that Yoona drops by. Changmin almost flees, but Kyuhyun grabs him by the arm and pulls him back in. Yoona grins at him with her blindingly white teeth, and he swallows.

He wishes she wasn't so pretty. Then maybe he'd actually be able to, who knows, talk.

She turns to Kyuhyun, rocking on her feet, her smile still on her face. "What are you two doing?" Her voice is soft and pure and a bit like a lullaby - Changmin coughs awkwardly.

"Well, me and Changmin were just talking about how we should go out for lunch. You should come with us." Kyuhyun looks over at the other man, whose eyes are widened in protest. "What day did we say, Changmin?" Changmin can already hear the snickering in Kyuhyun's head and wishes he didn't have such a stupid best friend. "Friday, right?"

"Actually, we said-"

Kyuhyun steps on Changmin's foot with his heel, still looking at Yoona. "We said Friday. Are you busy then?"

Yoona looks behind her and sees Hyoyeon, heading to the practice room and talking to Amber. "Unnie, are we busy Friday?" she calls.

Hyoyeon turns around, about to nod, when she sees Yoona's pleading eyes. "No, we're not!" she calls back, winking. Yoona breaks into a grin and turns back around to look at Kyuhyun. He grins and nudges Changmin, who seems ready to kill himself, and then claps his hands together.

Yoona is about to excuse herself when Kyuhyun grabs her arm and grins, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Actually, I am busy Friday, so why don't you and Changmin just hang out by yourselves?"

"Ky - Kyuhyun-" Changmin stutters, his face turning red.

"Don't worry, I'll get manager hyung to clear your schedule." Kyuhyun turns back to Yoona, not finished yet. "So it's settled. A date." Yoona blushes, but the smile never leaves her face; Changmin could die right there and then but Yoona is so pretty that he can't help himself, and he smiles too.

Right then, Kyuhyun bounds off to join Minho and Yoona is dragged away by Sooyoung, who wants to know what the irrepressible grin on her face is all about, and Changmin is left by himself wondering what type of hell Kyuhyun has dragged him into. Yunho walks by, sees the expression on Changmin's face, and snorts. "Took you long enough."

perfect princesses will be perfect
super junior/snsd - heechul/jessica
Jessica assumes it is the lack of eye-to-eye contact that she's resorted to arguing with Heechul over the phone. He doesn't really sound all buff and deep after a whole two months enlisted, but maybe it's because she'll never be able to see him like that anyways.

Their current argument is a debate between who would make the better princess. She feels like this should be an obvious answer, but's it not, and it scares her that it doesn't, well, scare her.

"I'm the princess for our new concept," Jessica explains to him. She walks into the family room right then to see The Boys airing on Music Bank.

Heechul snorts on the other line, and she hears the faint shooting of some action movie in the background. Or one of Kyuhyun's video games, they pretty much sound the same to her now. "I'm the princess here, if you've forgotten. Hence the Cinderella, duh."

Jessica almost laughs at that. "I'm the female here, if you've forgotten. Hence the boobs, duh." Carrying a tray of precisely cut fruit, Seohyun chooses to walk into the family room to hear Jessica's last sentence. She gives Jessica a weird look, but she doesn't get the chance to explain herself before the maknae walks back out, murmuring to herself about how Sooyeon unnie really shouldn't have watched the Victoria's Secret show last week.

There is another snort. "Fail, Kyuhyun. Even I could've killed that." So her second guess was right, the videogames. "And Jessica, just to inform you, I'm prettier than you'll ever be."

"What?!" Jessica sputters into the phone, bewildered. He must be high on something.

"Don't worry. I'll teach you how to be like me." Jessica almost swears, but right then, the doorbell rings on the other line and Heechul welcomes the person home. "Hey, Sooyeon-" It's been forever since she's heard the name from his lips, and she loves the feeling, "I have to go, so we'll continue this discussion later."

She sighs. "Okay. Next time."

There is a shuffling sound from his end. "Miss you." Jessica smiles, whispering the same two words back, tacking on another three at the end. Heechul laughs - love you too - and she finally clicks the phone off.

Princesses will be princesses, with their prince charming and all.

there's a secret inside of everyone
f.t. island/miss a - hongki/min
When Min first goes on her date, the whole of JYP is shocked. It's not like she doesn't date - hell, it isn't even the fact that she's dating someone that shocks them.

It is who she is dating - her, the short girl with the most energy and the professional moves and the loud voice and the daring humor, that has decided to go out with a member of a band.

It is Fei who tells Taecyeon who tells Wooyoung who tells Ye-eun who tells Sunye who tells Jinwoon who tells Jo Kwon who tells the world that Min finds out this isn't going to be all that easy.

Her and Hongki go on their first date on a Wednesday. To be more specific, at around three on an early Wednesday morning - a really early Wednesday morning - bundled up in coats and scarves and hats and sunglasses even though there is no sun to shield. Min calls it hiding; Hongki calls it spy gear for beginners.

They find themselves in a deserted park, Hongki holding a picnic basket even though it is far after dinner and far before breakfast. He leads Min straight to the middle of the grassy area, setting out a blanket. She looks at him strangely and he gestures at the basket. "Midnight snack," are his words.

Out of the basket comes a radio as well, Min immediately snatching it and turning to her favorite hip-hop station. Soon enough, their 'midnight snack' is left for the animals because Min has pulled Hongki up from the ground and has begun dancing.

"I sing, I don't dance!" he protests, but Min pulls him along anyways, coming up with moves that he's not even sure his body can bend to. If anyone was to walk by within a half a mile radius, they would've heard Min's singing over everything else, but it is three AM and both of them are almost positive that no one is going to come and get them.

That is, until, a security guard runs into the park and starts blasting his head off about private property and Hongki and Min barely escape alive.

Well, that's what Hongki says, and all his excuses sound a lot cooler than Min's anyways.

When Min does get home hours later, just as the sun is rising, she's almost as fine as she was when she left. Her knee is kind of bruised from falling on to the ground, and Hongki's attempt at moving a branch away from her face had only backfired so she's got a slightly red mark on her cheek, but that's nothing no make-up won't fix.

Something else leaves her a bit longer lasting, something Suzy notices when she opens the door and Jia assumes as she puts Min to bed. Even Fei, who is barely awake, spots Min's so-called 'date effects'.

She kind of stumbles into her bed, giggles a little when Fei asks how her date went, and smiles to herself as she turns off the lights and tucks herself into bed.

It's something they all notice, and something that does not rid itself of Min until the next time she sees Hongki.

(and even then, as she hates to admit, it only grows.)

there's a match for everything missing
big bang/2ne1 - gd/cl
He's kind of like one of those dorks that stumbles over everything - his words, his shoes, other people's shoes, other people (mainly just her, but it's not like chaerin really minds).

They're sitting inside her bedroom, the door closed and locked, the windows shut even thought it wouldn't make a difference otherwise, because it's in the middle of the night and the rest of the girls are already asleep. Their legs are intertwined, Jiyoung's breath apparent on her neck. She smiles and tightens her arm around his waist. It shouldn't be comfortable, crammed on such a small bed, but Chaerin can honestly say she wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now.

"So," she begins, "where does that attitude on stage go to when you're with me?"

He chuckles, kind of in disbelief and kind of in amusement. "It's right here," he answers, resting a hand over his chest.

"Really?" Chaerin places her hand over his. It is warm and soft, kind of like hers except a bit bigger, like they could envelope her fist and protect it from all things she would need protection from. Chaerin grins. "So how come I can't see it?"

Jiyoung leans closer to Chaerin and lets his lips brush against hers slightly - she shivers, and she feels the corners of his mouth turn up. "You can. You just choose not to."

He leans closer, and Chaerin's heart beats faster, almost like they've none done this before. His mouth is almost completely pressed against hers when Jiyoung's hand suddenly slips and hits the lamp behind Chaerin's head. It falls over and he pulls her towards him just in case, proceeding to lean too far back on his side of the bed.

The comforter shifts to the side, and suddenly, Chaerin finds herself sitting on top of Jiyoung on the floor. He groans and rubs at the back of his head; Chaerin assumes it hit the desk by the way the wooden table is no longer in its correct position.

"Are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?" Jiyoung stares at her in disbelief as she smiles, her lips stretched too wide across her face and her pupils barely visible. "You little-"

"I'm not!" Chaerin pins him down as he begins to reach for her, and starts laughing. "I'm not laughing at you!"

Jiyoung rolls his eyes, still trying to reach for her. His lips tell a different story, however, visibly twitching at the corners. "Will you just shut up and get off of me?" He tugs at her tight grip on his arms. "Please? I have to get up early tomorrow, and I shouldn't even be here, and-"

Chaerin leans down and kisses him softly on the lips, marveling at the sweetness of his lips. They are the very definition of perfect in one syllable and four letters, one vowel and three consonants, and the obvious match for Chaerin's own.

When she pulls away, her shirt is curled up in Jiyoung's fist, not letting her lean back farther than a couple of inches from his face. "Ssh," Chaerin whispers. "There are people sleeping."

"Okay," he replies, but Jiyoung kisses her again anyways, softly and soundly and perfectly.

christmas singles and bells that jingle
mblaq/after school - g.o./jooyeon
The call wakes him up at seven in the morning, coincidentally on their one day in. It rings heavily and Seungho is slapping at the alarm clock in fury, but it isn't really helping. "HOW THE HELL DO YOU SHUT THIS UP."

Byunghee groans and rolls over to his side, grabbing at his cellphone. "What?"

"Hey, what's up?" It's Jooyeon. He groans and flops back on to the bed, and he hears her laugh on the other line. "Did I wake you up?" She asks it likes she knows, and Byunghee is almost positive that she's aware of the damage she has caused.

Seungho puts a pillow over his head and flops over on his stomach. "Like it isn't obvious, Jooyeon, yes, you did!" he whines, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"You got your answer." Byunghee throws the covers off of himself and sighs. The sky outside is gray and dreary, rain pouring down in buckets, and it doesn't look like it'll be a day off well spent. He really doesn't feel like getting out of bed today. "So what did you want?"

There's music blaring where Jooyeon is, and he wonders what time it is in Japan with the song on so loud. "I saw your new single cover." He raises his eyebrow, and she reads his silence easily. "Got the middle shot, eh?" She laughs lightly. Byunghee hears Kahi singing some Japanese song off key, and he thinks it might be Tell Me Your Wish, but he doesn't really want to know. The song will be ruined for him, otherwise.

"Why? Am I too ugly to be in the middle?"

Jooyeon snorts. "Obviously."

"Hey!" His protest comes out a bit louder than expected, because Chansung has heard.

There is a yell from the room next door, followed by a banging of doors, and then Chansung enters the room. His face is red and almost as bloated as his muscles, and he looks like he is on the verge of strangling someone. "Byunghee, if you don't shut up with your goddamn love making, I am gonna cut you."

Jooyeon laughs and calls to Chansung, "Joon, you look the best!" Byunghee winces, forgetting to remind her that the speaker is still next to his ear.

Chansung doesn't hear her because he has already stormed off, and Byunghee doesn't tell him because Chansung's ego really doesn't needed to be boosted anymore than it already is. Actually, that's Cheulyong's issue, now that he thinks about it... "Did you call me just to tell me that I'm too ugly to be put in the middle of our single cover?"

She laughs, and Kahi's singing gets louder. He hears, unnie, please! Byunghee smiles, and it only grows wider when Kahi yells, what? talking to your boyfriend on the phone? Jooyeon whines - he's not my boyfriend! - and then returns to the line. "Sorry. Immature leaders will be immature."

"Yeah. Know the feeling." He shoots a glance at Seungho, who mutters to Byunghee to shut up and get a life.

"And by the way, I just wanted to tell you the picture looks nice, and I can't wait for the single to come out. I'll be first in line for the autograph signing." She giggles, and Byunghee opens his mouth to- "oh, and you do look pretty cute. Gotta go, bye!"

The phone line goes dead, then, the beeping sound pouring out of the speakers, and even though Chansung is cursing and Sanghyun is waking and Cheulyong is bouncing up and down ready for playtime, you do look pretty cute just echoes in Byunghee's ears. Then Seungho lets out a loud snore and Byunghee decides it is time for breakfast.

the difference between you and me
shinee/snsd - jonghyun/jessica
There is nothing obvious about their relationship. Jonghyun doesn't think their should be, and Jessica finds it weird that there isn't. Difference #1.

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm so attracted to you." Jessica says this to Jonghyun casually on their first date in three and a half weeks, their arms dangling loosely next to each other, each finger only slightly intertwined.

Jonghyun looks over and flashes a smile, one every single Shawol would probably die for. Jessica stares at him blankly. "Because you can't resist all this?" he asks, flexing his biceps.

She tilts her head to the side, thinking. "No..." Difference #2. "The girls always tell me that they never thought of you as a potential boyfriend. Maybe eye candy, but nothing serious." She scratches her head, still staring at Jonghyun.

"I think I make a pretty good boyfriend." Difference #3.

"It's not that you don't, it's just-"

"But you just disagreed with me!" Jonghyun points at Jessica accusingly, eyeing her when protests.

Jessica holds her hands out, letting Jonghyun's hand drop as she denies it. "I did no such thing," she claims. Difference #4.

"You just did." Jonghyun puts his hands on his hips, not budging even while Jessica pulls at him. "I'm not moving until you admit it."

She sighs and walks ahead, leaving him behind. "Whatever. I don't need you anyways." Jessica skips forward, humming under her breath and leaving an awed Jonghyun behind her. He twitches, trying not to move, and then only ends up chasing after her.

She squeals when Jonghyun catches her, spinning her around so Jessica is clutching his shirt with all the strength she contains in that petite little figure. He laughs, inwardly flinching at her death grip.

When he finally lets her go, she is breathing heavily and giggling. "You like me," he states, a grin ready to appear at the corner of his lips. She rolls her eyes, punches him in the chest, and scoffs (but he sees the smile at the ends of her lips anyways, and does a little victory dance on the inside. score #1).

on keeping track of time
cnblue/snsd - jonghyun/seohyun
Jonghyun doesn't really understand why Jungshin's desires - he calls them needs, but Jonghyun knows otherwise - must always be met. It's usually when Yonghwa and Minhyuk are both home, and Jonghyun is voted to go every single time, and Jungshin isn't even bothering to offer any money because he knows (for whatever reason) Jonghyun is the richest of all four.

He goes outside, shivering in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, hood thrown up over his head. It's not like anyone will recognize him anyways, but safety precautions should always be taken into hand. According to Minhyuk, anyways.

He arrives at the convenience store and searches for the nastiest, cheapest cup of ramen he can find, when there is a tap on his shoulder.

"Sorry, I'll just be one - Seohyun?" He tilts his head to the side and tries to take in the wide eyes and flowing brown hair, hidden under a hood similar to his. The only difference is that she's got reason for it, and people still have trouble realizing his band name isn't Yonghwa and those other guys.

She smiles, a faint pink hue on her cheek. "Hi," and it comes out small and simple and sweet. "What are you looking for?"

"Oh, um," Jonghyun scratches the back of his bead awkwardly and motions at the ramen, suddenly embarrassed of all the unhealthiness in the one cup. "Jungshin wanted noodles. I - erm - offered."

Seohyun's eyes crinkle up and she smiles really widely. Her teeth are white and almost blinding, but Jonghyun would rather not be able to see for the rest of his life than miss out on a smile like that. "That's nice," she tells him. His heart kind of swells at that, even if all it takes to make her smile is a good deed.

He smiles back at her. "Thanks. How about you?"

Seohyun motions at the items in her basket, pointing out each item one by one. "Well, we just ran out of toothpaste, and the three-month period for toothbrushes is overdue for Sooyeon unnie's toothbrush, so I needed to restock on that, plus Sooyoung unnie is a bit hungry, and-"

Jonghyun takes Seohyun's basket from her, and she looks at him strangely, confused. "Do you need to be home anytime soon?" he asks.

"Um, no, Taeyeon un-"

Jonghyun faintly recalls Yonghwa telling him not to be home any later than ten, and checks the time. It's five until. "Me neither. You should join me for a snack." He whisks away her basket and quickly drops down a hefty bill for the items, before dragging Seohyun outside.

Jungshin's desires may be necessary, who knows, but Jonghyun is too busy supplying 'needs' of his own.

my first kiss went a little like this
shinee/f(x) - key/krystal
"Of all people. Of all people, I'm stuck with you. Wow." Krystal lets out a scoff of disbelif, tapping her heel loudly against the practice room floor. Key searches through his song listing for the right track and ignores her complaints, instead singing some Korean song she doesn't recognize. "So what song did you pick this time?"

"You'll see," is his answer, quick and brief. Krystal eyes his clothes, the bright pink neon pants and the electric blue jacket, and decides his outfit does enough of the talking.

When the song finally comes on, Krystal wishes she'd brought a gun with her - and to shoot herself, not even Key. "Kesha? Are you kidding me, Key? It's like you want me to die."

He snorts, turning up the music even louder. "Maybe I do."

She glares at him and almost walks out the door in a huff, but he pulls her back and begins singing. "You'll like this song!" he yells in between the music. Krystal rolls her eyes, but nonetheless begins following his moves as they practice his solo.

Key teaches her every part slowly, one move by one, and soon the drunk voices of Kesha and 3OH!3 just blend in together because she's having too much fun. The music is too loud and Krystal can't even hear the directions he's yelling at her, and they end up just improvising the rest of the dance. Key almost falls over during one part of the song because she pushes him so far back, but Krystal grabs him and laughs and yells at him to be more coordinated, this is our only practice! He sticks his tongue out at her, but there is a smile in his eyes and Krystal wonders why her and Key aren't already married.

After all, they do seem pretty much destined for each other. Divas unite, don't they?

She supposes it isn't really a surprise (given she hates him almost as much as she likes him) when my first kiss went a little like this ends up being their first kiss went a little like that, in a dirty practice room exchanged between her sweats and his designer outfit, and a gleam in both of their eyes when he breaks apart and she's not ready to let go just yet.

can you read my heart?
super junior/snsd - kyuhyun/seohyun
Seohyun is asked many times what great attraction Kyuhyun holds.

There should be a simple answer. "Because I like him," is what she wants to say, because she does. Seohyun likes this man, this outgrown six year-old who likes to play video games and tease people and show off his voice that he claims to live for. Seohyun wants to say this, but she smiles, because their love is a bit more complicated than that.

Their love is the type that calls for late nights out and sunrise breakfasts, teasing names and hands that don't really fit - because hers are soft and his are hard and his are big and hers are small - but they hold on to each other anyways because they can.

They bump into each other at the mall one day, and Seohyun almost doesn't recognize him by the way his hat is pulled down over his head and his sunglasses cover half of his face and his scarf is bundled up so high that she sees nothing but cloth. (but this is kyuhyun, her kyuhyun, so she ends up recognizing him anyways.)

They go shopping and he picks out a dress he really likes, making her try it on, and even though (she thinks) it fits awkwardly and is too loose and just plain weird, Kyuhyun thinks she looks like a princess. So he buys it for her and makes her promise to wear it the next time they see each other.

Seohyun tells him she doesn't know how to tell when that will be, because they might see each other one day and she won't know about it. Like today.

Kyuhyun laughs and tells her not to worry about it.

He calls her up the next afternoon, asking her if she wants to go for a late night out and a sunrise breakfast (and teasing names and hands that don't really fit, even though he doesn't say that).

Seohyun wears the dress and when Kyuhyun greets her later that night, it is with a massive smile and endless compliments, even though his remarks always seem to follow afterwards. But it is okay, because his lips are soft on hers, so warm and sweet and wonderful, and Kyuhyun is just really meant to be hers.

So whenever people ask her what attraction there is to Kyuhyun for someone like her, so prim and proper and neat and perfect, she just laughs and says, "It's complicated."

(because she likes him.)

roses are red, violets are blue
super junior/snsd - kyuhyun/taeyeon
Neither of them are really good dancers, but Kyuhyun doesn't mind because he knows they can sing. They've probably got the best voices in their group - Ryeowook accepts it, but Yesung still denies the obvious fact through and through - and he's (she's - they're) just waiting to be paired up together for a duet.

The recording studio becomes their new home soon enough, and Taeyeon decides every home needs a little decoration.

She comes to the studio one day carrying a large shopping bag, ignoring Kyuhyun's confused looks while he attempts to rehearse his song. Taeyeon pulls out a large white sheet - a curtain, a bedsheet, even a table cloth, he can't really tell. She stands up on one of the chairs, two thumbtacks in her mouth, and then pins the sheet to the wall opposite the recording room. Kyuhyun takes off his headphones, dazed. "What are you doing?"

"Decorating." Taeyeon looks back at him as she hops off the chair, brushing her hands together. "Want to help?"

He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, not really knowing the answer she wants to hear, but Taeyeon drags him out of the room anyways. She hands him a glue gun, a stack of three dimensional stickers, and a handful of pictures, and then tells him to have fun.

Kyuhyun finds himself gluing pictures of SM artists - mainly him and Taeyeon, actually - to the sheet. A random pair will pop out once in a while, Yunho and BoA's arms around each other or Zhou Mi and Victoria standing in front of some Chinese landmark, and he doesn't fail to notice the little heart Taeyeon seems to have drawn at the corner of e edu picture. Like a logo, almost.

He sees a hint of it everywhere and occasionally glances over to Taeyeon, watching in amusement as she tries to arrange already glued pictures.

When he's done with his stack of pictures, Kyuhyun looks over to see Taeyeon attempting to pin a fake rose to the top corner of the sheet. Kyuhyun smiles and reaches over, plucking the flower out of her hand to do it for her. She smiles, hands him another flower - a dark blue-purple this time - and points to the opposite end.

When he's done, Kyuhyun sighs and leans back, admiring their piece of art. Taeyeon has this massive beam on her face that can barely contain the excitement of the midget she is. "What do you think?"

He laughs. "I love it. How'd you even come up with this?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Taeyeon shrugs, sighing and heading back in to the recording studio. Kyuhyun watches her, unknowingly being dragged along, until the two are back in the small room with headphones over their ears as they practice some other American song. His eyes scan over the flowers and Kyuhyun grins.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this one's for me, Kyuhyun slips his hand into Taeyeon's, and this one's for you.

nothing more than the two of us
super junior/snsd - kyuhyun/yoona
Yoona guesses there's a little bit of it in everyone. "We've all got something that makes us happy," Yoona explains to Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun, being Kyuhyun, disagrees, and she guesses that is must be because he is who he is and Yoona's never made that much of an impact on him anyways. "Depressed people. They aren't happy."

"But there's something that makes them come out of depression."

Kyuhyun turns his head to the side to look at her. "Like what?"

"Like their family or friends."

Kyuhyun snorts and turns back around. "Or suicide."

"Kyuhyun!" She jabs him in the side and hears him giggle. "You're so horrible."

"What?"

Yoona sighs and fiddles with the hem of her shirt, her back against Kyuhyun's as he plays some game on his phone. He snorts again, and she hears him mumble something under his breath about amateur gamers having no life. "Kyuhyun."

"Hm?" He twists to the side, jabbing at his video game and almost causing her to fall over. Yoona catches herself and scoffs. Why is he such a nerd? "What were you saying?" he asks.

"What makes you happy?"

Kyuhyun motions towards his phone, grinning. She whines and hits him, causing the device to fall out of his hand. "Hey!" Yoona looks over and sees him reaching for it, and then lunges for it. Women have always been more graceful than men, and Yoona is not surprised to find the phone in her hand a second later, Kyuhyun's arms draped over her legs and his eyes wide. She laughs as he grabs for the phone, her hand too far away for him to reach.

"You know what makes me happy?" Kyuhyun suddenly says, leaning up towards Yoona with a smirk. She leans back and watches as he inches closer, and closer, and closer. His face is now right next to her, so close that their noses are brushing, and Yoona wonders when he added benefits to their friendship.

His lips meet her a second later and Yoona can't help but laugh midway through this interaction he calls 'kissing'. It's too late to pick back up, then, because Kyuhyun has already taken his phone away, but Yoona doesn't really mind.

Kyuhyun makes her happy, too.

protect the unprotected
super junior/younha - kyuhyun/younha
It's been their inside joke for pretty much forever. Well, their inside joke that only he thinks is funny and she thinks is just plain stupid (but that is how half of their relationship works out, anyways, so she's pretty much gotten used to it).

"Maybe it's a coincidence you're so short," Kyuhyun tells her one day. Younha snorts and raises her eyebrow, but it's a rhetorical question and Kyuhyun really doesn't get the meaning of her not wanting to know. "You know, because in reality, elves are really short and you're, like, a midget."

Younha wants to remind that the 'in reality' line won't work because elves aren't even real. "What does that have to do with anything?" Her hand flies over the music sheets and she scratches out a sentence. The lyrics are horribly unconvincing.

"You know, because our fans are called ELFs, and elves are so short, and you're so short, and you're dating me, so must be an ELF." Kyuhyun laughs, amused with his own logic. Younha rolls her eyes but fails to hide the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "See? I know you were thinking it."

"Shut up," she retorts. A little heart has suddenly appeared at the corner of her paper, and Younha has no idea where it come from. She erases it and bites the end of her pencil. This song writing thing is really hard.

"You know, Younha-"

"No, I don't," because it's amazing how he manages to start off almost every sentence like that.

Kyuhyun glances at her, giving her a look that has try me written all over it, and she makes a face. "You know, Younha, midgets are the number one most attacked citizens in Korea."

She sighs. "I'm not a midget, Kyuhyun. Maybe you're just a giant."

"Siwon is taller than me," he answers. Younha glares at him with every threat possible read in her eyes. Kyuhyun holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide. "I'm just saying that you probably shouldn't go around by yourself all the time. Keep someone with you."

She snorts. "The only person that is ever going to attack me is you." She scribbles down a couple of words, decides they sound awkward, and erases them. Meanwhile, Kyuhyun fingers the tips of her hair next to her, and his hands feel warm through her thin t-shirt.

"Well, then you should keep me around all the time, so no one else will attack you." Younha turns over to look at him, but his head is bent and she can't see his eyes through his bangs. He really needs to get them cut.

He keeps playing with her hair, and Younha suddenly finds inspiration right next to her. Everyone wants a protector, and Younha decides hers can be the one that'll do all the attacking.

real life ninjas
mblaq gen. joon-centric
Joon prides himself in taking the manager's instructions quite seriously, so he doesn't mind when Byunghee gives him a strange look when he flies into the kitchen only half-clothed. He is midst buttoning his shirt and buckling the belt that fails to keep his pants on his waist when Byunghee says, "Please, Chansung, no one wants to see your dick."

Cheundoong calls out from the bathroom while brushing his teeth. "Hyung, what did we tell you about running around naked?"

Chansung ignores them and pulls his pants all the way up - he's wearing boxers, anyways - and then goes back to buttoning his shirt with his right hand. Using his free hand, Chansung grabs at the piece of toast that has just left the toaster. "Watch out, that's-"

"Ouch!"

"Hot." Byunghee raises his eyebrows and gets up from the table, eyeing Joon from top to bottom. "Why are you in such a rush anyways?"

"Manacher hyungf saif to-"

"I can't understand what you're saying." Joon swallows the toast in his mouth, shoves the rest of the bread in his throat, and then starts choking. Lack of saliva, he assumes. He grabs a glass of water - Byunghee's glass of backwashed water, to be exact - and takes a big gulp. "You know I spit in that."

"Friar." Liar.

"He's not lying, I saw him. He like, threw up in there." Mir pops out from behind the refrigerator holding a screwdriver and a broken cord, imitating Byunghee vomiting. Joon reacts almost naturally, spitting the liquid and the watery bread out into the sink. Mir looks disgusted. "It's Seungho's turn to do dishes tonight, right?" Byunghee nods.

Joon, meanwhile, is running into the lounge and taking out his large duffel bag. "Has anyone seen my dress shoes?" he calls, reaching out to pick a penny from the floor and close the television behind him with his big toe.

"Yeah, they're in the hamper," Cheundoong replies, entering the kitchen.

Joon glances towards him. Cheundoong shrugs, because he doesn't know, and Mir looks up. "They looked dirty," he states.

Byunghee watches as Joon runs into their room, and then glances at Cheundoong. "Why is he in such a hurry?" The younger one doesn't answer, too busy staring at the mixture in the sink.

"What is that?"

"You don't want to know," Mir tells him. Just then, Joon sprints to the front door, duffel bag in right hand, one shoe tucked under his left arm, and the other shoe on the wrong foot.

Byunghee comes out of the kitchen holding a new glass of water. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Manager hyung said we needed to get ready quick."

"We?"

Joon nods, and then glances at the watch. "You guys aren't ready?" he asks, and Byunghee gives him a blank look in his boxers and t-shirt. Cheundoong appears from behind him, holding a coffee mug and eyeing Joon strangely. In the kitchen, Mir is spinning around with the carton of eggs in his hands, and it seems like Seungho has just gotten up. He sees the three members outside of the door and tilts his head to the side. "What's going on?"

Joon takes a step back slowly. Well, at least he takes the manager's directions quite seriously.

individuality is their middle name
shinee/snsd - onew/seohyun
"Are you sure we're allowed to be doing this?" Seohyun shivers next to him, wrapping her arms tightly around her torso. Onew glances over at her with a mild expression on his face. He doesn't really know how to answer.

"I don't know."

"Onew!" Seohyun looks at him sharply, a hurt look in her eyes. He takes in a deep breath and grabs her hand - this will all be okay. She closes her eyes, nods, and then the two of them get up from their positions on the practice room floor and run out. Onew is carrying the bag with the letters and Seohyun the tape and candy, their delivery process about to begin.

The round trip around the entertainment building takes three hours - two to hang all the cards and the candy, and one to check and make sure each person has received one of their own.

It is Seohyun's idea to personalize every card. "They'd feel special," she tells him, holding Onew's arm. He fingers the cards in his hand; this one is Jungmo's. Onew doesn't think he's ever even talked to him before.

"I don't even know all these people," he whispers.

Seohyun's hand slides away from Onew's arm and to the card instead. She takes it from his hand - "Jungmo? You've never talked to him before?" He shrugs, and she giggles. "Here. I'll show you." She rummages through her bag, pulls out a pen and uncaps it with her mouth. Mumbling words to herself, Seohyun rests against the wall and begins scribbling down.

When she returns it to Onew, he can't help but laugh. Jungmo hyung! I like your guitar skills ^^ Teach me how to play sometime, okay? Love, Onew~

"I can't put this!" he cries, still laughing. Seohyun grins and pats him on the back.

"Too bad. You already did."

So that's how in the morning, when everyone comes to the studio the next day, they find a card and a piece of candy taped to their dressing room door. Some have silly messages, some have sweet messages, but they've all got something special. Seohyun knows everyone already, but Onew finds himself getting a smile from everyone he passes.

(later on during the day, seohyun pulls him outside on their lunch break. "do you think we should send one to hangeng? or jyj? yunho was on the phone with yoochun the other day-"

"i've never talked to yoochun before."

seohyun's eyes widen in shock. "really? oh, then we must. here, i have some spare cards in my dressing room." she hurries to get up, but onew pulls her back down and wraps his arms around her instead.

they end up sending yoochun - and everyone else - a card, anyways.)

let me see you smile
2pm/wonder girls - wooyoung/ye-eun
He likes her blonde hair. It fits her well, almost even naturally. Wooyoung wonders whose suggestion it was to try out a new color when the doorbell rings and Taecyeon doesn't move from his position on the floor.

"Your turn." Wooyoung shoots a nasty look at Taecyeon, making sure to step on his fingers on his way to the door. "Shit. That hurt," Taecyeon mutters.

"That was the point, stupid." In the hallway, Nichkhun calls from his meditating stance, reminding Taecyeon that cursing is bad for the soul.

Wooyoung opens the front door and sighs loudly, ignoring Taecyeon's string of curse words to Nichkhun in reply. "Why are you back so early? No one wants you here."

"Early?" He looks up, then, and that is not Junho in front of the door. The girl standing there smiles at him - or, more likely at the stupid expression on his face.

"Yenny. Hey." Wooyoung swallows, and she tries not to laugh at the Adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat. "I thought it was, um, Junho."

"Right."

He steps away from the door and motions for her to come inside, but even by the way her teeth are chattering and her legs are shaking, she declines. "I'm actually on my way to a shooting, just thought I'd drop by." Ye-eun reaches over her shoulder and grabs her gigantic tote bag - all of the female species carries them around, he notices - pulling out a CD and pushing it into his hands.

"What's this?"

She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and Wooyoung wonders if her hair feels as soft as it looks. Maybe he should have done it for her instead. "I wrote a couple of songs, but I haven't really..." Ye-eun rubs her neck and her eyes dart to the floor. "I haven't really showed them to anyone."

A faint pink spreads over her cheeks, but he doesn't really notice because he's smiling a bit too widely and his heart is pounding a bit too quickly.

There is a honking sound from the parking lot, impatient. Ye-eun steps back and glances up at Wooyoung one last time. "I, um, have to go. See you around." She smiles slightly and almost runs down the stairs, and he watches her slide into the nearest car seat when a black van pulls up.

He flips the CD around in his hands and grins. She really does look good in blonde hair.

there are times when we are just meant to be
dbsk/boa - yunho/boa
There are times when Boa just wants to strangle Yunho, and there are times when Boa wants to hold him tight in her arms and rock him back and forth (or the opposite way around; according to him, it depends on the days who wears the pants in their relationship).

There are times when Boa wants to hold Yunho's hand and sit in front of a warm fireplace, tea in her free hand and coffee in his, light music playing in the background while he tells her a story that she's probably heard enough to recite exactly herself, but always sounding so perfect when the words come out of his mouth.

She guesses it's kind of like that right now.

Except, instead of holding hands, their legs are intertwined across each other. And instead of sitting in front of a warm fireplace, they're sitting in front of a dirty, dusty, foggy mirror. And instead of tea and coffee in their hands, she holds an empty water bottle and him a finished energy drink. And instead of light music playing in the background, a loud pop song plays loudly, so loudly that Boa's ears are going numb.

But there is one thing that is the same. It is Yunho's soft voice whispering to Boa a story about a child who debuts, who works her mind and body and soul to become the best performer in the world, who watches as the older trainees taunt and mock her for being so young, who soon becomes one of the biggest faces on the planet at the age of fifteen.

Boa smiles and rests her head on her knees, closing her eyes while Yunho continues his story. There is laughter outside from the younger artists, artists who have fallen in and fallen back out, artists who have crushed and been heartbroken and adored all the same, artists who are the new faces of the world.

Boa tugs at Yunho's hand, only enough so his pinky wraps itself around hers. They have something better, a little better that anyone else has yet to see, and Boa just finds herself reliving the fifteen year-old dream over and over again, always back in his arms.

end of the year drabbles for everyone. and /shock/ they're all fluff. hope there's a pairing for everyone! happy holidays, my friends ♥

Seven Steps (to him and her)

2011-12-08T02:08:28Z

Title: Seven Steps
Fandoms: SNSD, Super Junior
Pairing(s): Heechul/Jessica
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: There are seven steps to Heechul’s kisses, and Jessica has trouble accepting the last steps.

a/n: inspired by LIGHTS and counting

I. First Kiss

Their first kiss is exchanged in the recording studio.

It is a strange place for one’s first kiss to be. Sooyeon’s just finished recording a solo, and Heechul has stayed after practice to take her home.

“How do you think I did?” she asks, and he holds his thumb up and calls her out to listen to the song. She takes the headset off of her ears and skips outside to hear a voice playing – is that her? “Is that me?” she asks, and he laughs, and she can’t believe that this is happening. “I sound… I sound good.”

Heechul grins – she’s never noticed it before, but he’s got a toothy grin, like he’s up to something and she can’t know what it is. “You always sound good,” he tells her.

“But that’s with the rest of the group.” Sooyeon clasps her hands together and suddenly, tears have sprung in her eyes and the smile stretching from ear to ear is too good to be true. “I sound so good,” she whispers. Heechul opens his arms for a hug and she throws herself into his chest and the next thing she knows, they’re kissing.

His lips are brushing softly against hers and he tastes like ice cream. Her hands travel up his chest and stop at his neck, pulling him closer so they’re chests are touching and she can’t extend out anymore. Sooyeon is on the tip of her toes and she doesn’t remember when he got so tall, because even while she’s stretched up, he’s bent over and pulling her back so if he let go of her waist, she would fall to the floor.

(later, sooyeon realizes that when he kisses her, she feels like she could put her life in his hands and he would take better care of it then she does.)

When they pull back, Sooyeon expects it to be awkward and strange, and for them to never bring this up again, but Heechul just smiles and brushes her hair out of her eyes. “You know,” he says, and for the first time in her seven years of knowing him, he sounds breathless, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

II. Soft and Sweet

They are sitting on Sooyeon’s bed, Heechul on the top and Sooyeon on the bottom, and a laugh hinting at the corner of their lips. He smiles slightly and places a kiss on her nose, and she wonders if it’s really her that giggles. His fingertips play with the corner of her shirt; she runs a hand up his chest and rests it against his neck. His next kiss travels down to the corner of her lips, and Sooyeon finds a way to toss back her head and laugh at the exoticness of this all.

“You’re cute,” Heechul says, and she feels him running a gentle hand through her hair. The strands fall back on her shoulder; Sooyeon wishes it was still blonde. “I like your hair now,” he says, as if reading her mind – she doesn’t question fate, because it’s obviously right in front of her.

They kiss softly and silently, and it’s filled with longing and a bit of something else that she doesn’t really know how to describe. It’s sweet, she thinks. Kind of like a Hershey’s kiss.

Sooyeon finds her hands tangled in Heechul’s hair and Heechul’s arms wrapped around her waist and she knows that when they kiss, it couldn’t get any better than this.

III. Fiery and Feisty

Sooyeon doesn’t fight with him. Not really, anyways – he’s Heechul, and it’s impossible to fight, because everything that comes out of his mouth sounds right (right to her, anyways).

The feeling she gets when he yells at her is one of the most painful things she’s ever felt. It eats her up from the inside and spits her out, and she feels like her body has been twisted inside out in fury and hurt.

It’s funny, really, because it’s over a fan letter in English that he can’t read and she can – he had a bad day, practice went horribly, people won’t get off of his back, she makes up these excuses for him and pretends it’s okay and it’s normal for him to yell at her like he is.
“Why can’t you just fucking leave me alone?!” he screams.

“Heechul,” she whispers, and the voice that comes out is pleading and whiny and she hates that that’s how she sounds when she wants everything to be okay. (but it’s not – they both know it’s not, but sooyeon likes to pretend sometimes.) She reaches out to embrace him, but he hits her arms away, and the sting of his slap is not anything compared to the sting in her heart.

Sooyeon ends up finding a way to pull him in her arms, but doesn’t expect the next move he makes. Heechul tightens his grip around her waist and takes her lips with his own, and she’s struggling – when he’s mad, this is not what they should be doing, but it is.

She pushes and pushes as hard as she can, but the harder she pushes, the more he pulls, and she just ends up melting faster and faster until she’s a puddle of undignified mess at his feet with all his wishes and demands at the tips of her fingers.

IV. Extraterrestrial

The first thing she notices when he stumbles into her apartment is that he’s drunk.

“Sooyeon,” he whispers, and the way he says it is unfamiliar and alien to her; she doesn’t want to find out what’s beneath this him, but he grabs for her shirt and pulls her towards him. “Come here.” His voice is raspy and demanding and Sooyeon knows that this can only be for the worse–

– she attempts to push him off, the smell of alcohol overwhelming her. “Let go of me, Heechul!”
He lunges for her waist and falls on top of her, Sooyeon pinned between his body and the couch.

She struggles under his weight and twists her face away as he tries to kiss her. The odor coming off of his body is putrid; she doesn’t want to guess where’s been.

Sooyeon doesn’t get the chance to yell his name – yell at him to go away, leave her alone, to come back only when he’s sober – before he kisses her on the lips.

She tastes alcohol, cherry Coke, and a hint of ice cream.

Sooyeon despises herself for pulling his head closer and wrapping her legs around his waist; she hates herself for giving into Heechul and his kisses.

IV. Make Up

Sooyeon hates being home alone, so when the doorbell rings, she doesn’t hesitate even a second to fling open the door – until she sees the figure standing on the other side, holding a black velvet box and a worn and tired grin. Heechul.

Her first thought is wondering whether or not he’d try to stop her if she slammed the door on his face right at that second.

But she doesn’t, because he looks so exhausted – like the weight of the world has been multiplied by ten and dropped onto his shoulders as if he were a pile of dirt – and she’s just so sick. Sick of not being with him, sick of being angry, sick of being hurt, sick of being alone.

It takes him less than two minutes to get inside, hand her the box, and open his mouth to apologize before Sooyeon throws her arms around his waist and buries her head into his chest. “It’s okay,” she whispers, and he smells so good after so long, “just don’t leave me again.”

They pull back from each other and kiss each other softly – Sooyeon has never kissed anyone with more longing than she just did. Heechul’s lips feel perfect against hers, and she wishes that they would stay there, forever. She remembers something Taeyeon had told her earlier, then: Forever is a long time. Heechul’s eyelashes flutter against hers, and she smells in his scent of cherry Coke and ice cream, and thinks that she wouldn’t mind living forever if Heechul was with her every step of the way.

The black, velvet box falls to the floor, but Sooyeon is too busy intertwining her hands with Heechul’s and pulling him to the bedroom to notice.

It is kicked to the side and she doesn’t find it until months after. The small, silver ring inside, lined with the words of forgive me grows dusty and old by then, and she later comes to wonder why she didn’t pay more attention to the meaning behind those words.

V. Routine

She realizes that their make-up kisses begin happening often. They start off with an argument over the simplest, stupidest things, and she crawls back to Heechul in the end, ready to welcome him with open arms and an open heart and a fresh start. A fresh start, she tells herself every time, but neither of them knows the meaning of that because nothing is fresh when it is already used.

Their make-up kisses lose that sense of longing she so desires – that he never desired, that she didn’t know.

Her heart no longer pounds when he enters her room and crawls into the bed, and she no longer feels the urge to wrap her arms around his waist. The tingles disappear when he tosses his arm around her shoulders; the fluttering evaporates when he wraps his feet around her legs under the table; the spark is nonexistent when he brushes a piece of hair out of her eyes.

Sooyeon begins to question the meaning of love and whether they have it or not.

“I’m heading out,” he says one day, and she follows him to the door in her pajamas and a sweater. Heechul looks back – his eyes are black and lifeless, she notices – and Sooyeon smiles slightly. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He leans down and kisses her on the lips, and all she tastes is skin.

VI. Break Up

The break-up is mutual. There is no fighting, no yelling, no hitting or locking each other out of the house.

(sooyeon admits that there is crying; she doesn’t want to, but she can’t help the tears that flood her eyes when he leaves her apartment for the last time. she pretends not to see the water in his eyes either, and heechul pretends to do the same because they are not meant for each other.

heechul is his own and sooyeon is her own, and that is all they will ever be.)

She remembers sitting on the couch with him, a coffee cup in each of their hands even though neither of them likes coffee. Sooyeon is more of a tea person, and Heechul prefers alcohol over anything else, but they still sit there, coffee in their hands. The television is off and the curtains are closed and Sooyeon wants to say something, but the words are struck in her throat.

She remembers when they both put the mugs down at the same time, and she hears him whisper, “I’m sorry.” Sooyeon just shakes her head and finds her way in his arms, her head on his chest.

(because even though her heart stopped pounding in her chest and the fluttering in her stomach disappeared, she still molds perfectly against him and she knows there will always be a part of her that stays right there.)

Sooyeon remembers Heechul stepping out the door, and how one foot is outside and the other is in, and he turns back and meets lips with Sooyeon for the last time. It’s a goodbye kiss, a farewell kiss, maybe even an I’ll-see-you-around kiss. She remembers pulling back and murmuring good night, because this is where their story ends.

Finish

Sooyeon still sees Heechul around, even though he addresses her as Jessica now. Sometimes there will be a slip, and she’ll see the ‘s’ forming on his tongue before he switches it around and blames it on his Engrish. She’ll smile, and he’ll smile, and that’s the farthest they will ever go.

She bumps into him sometimes, and they’ll chat once in a while, and she never fails to notice how he still flips his hair out of his eyes and how he’s never got enough sticks of gum to last him a whole show.

(she fails to notice, however, that her heart will still sometimes pick up its speed around him.

that when he smiles, she’ll unconsciously wish it was at her, and only her.

that every night, the apartment will feel a bit empty and she can only think of one person to fill it.

she fails to notice, however, that this part of their life is over, and the only thing she can do is move on.)

They brush hands one day and Sooyeon wonders if they’re hands still fit as perfectly as they used to. She laughs, then, because that’s a strange thought; it’s not like they’ll be holding hands anytime soon. But the thought still crosses her mind, and she pretends like it doesn’t mean anything at all.

VII. Pretend

He calls her up a week before he announces his enlistment. She has yet to know, and he doesn’t find out until ten minutes before she gets the call (after she learns this, sooyeon acts as if it doesn’t matter that heechul told her first. but her ears flush and her face warms up and she can’t do anything to hide that she really does care.)

She meets him at the park in the freezing weather, still shivering despite her three layers of clothing. Heechul proposes that they sit in the car; the two are seated, driver to passenger, less than a minute later.

“So what did you have to tell me?” she begins, and the first words that leave his mouth are, I’m enlisting.

Her heart drops, then. She wouldn’t be surprised if she had slightly died inside, because this is Heechul. This is Korea’s Heechul, the Heechul that makes his rounds to everyone, old or young. This is the Heechul that everyone knows of, whether they listen to Super Junior or not.

This is Sooyeon’s Heechul.

There is silence, and it isn’t awkward, but it isn’t comfortable either. It is just silent, even though Sooyeon’s heart is screaming at Heechul to tell him that this isn’t true. However, it is, because the next thing that happens is unexpected and anticipated and they both see it coming – Heechul leans over and pulls Sooyeon into his arms, and he kisses her softly, and it feels perfect. As if this is for them, and only them.

But it’s not, because eight is not the magic number – seven is, and that is where their story is supposed to end.

Heechul’s hand slips into hers, and Sooyeon gets her answer, because their hands do still fit together, palm to palm and finger to finger.

Heechul enlists one week later and is shot in his military uniform after only two days. Sooyeon watches on her computer screen as he smiles and promises to try his best, and all she remembers is that his lips still taste like Cherry coke and vanilla and that hint of a Hershey’s kiss.

Sooyeon takes a sip of the water in her hand (washing away the taste of his lips on hers) and turns off the computer.

a/n 2: idk why the hell i wrote this when i was dying for some heesica love. i guess all i can really produce is angst ~~lol kill me now.~~ but, on a happier note, i actually wrote two happy fics. and i’m working on my third. and, and, and i’ve been working on some really random, ‘humorous’ (more like attempt at humorous lol) drabbles, so i guess that’ll make up for, you know… this. anyways, enjoy, everyone ♥

We're All Mad Here

2011-11-20T03:29:52Z

Title: We're All Mad Here
Fandoms: DBSK, f(x), SNSD, Super Junior
Pairing(s): Changmin/Victoria, Changmin/Yoona, Kyuhyun/Victoria, Kyuhyun/Yoona
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: G
Summary: The complicated love behind the SM stage.
Author's Notes: Written for the unniefic monthly 24-hour challenge; my nine year-old, triplet cousins actually came up with the plot. disclaimer to them ;)

Out of the four friends, Changmin is not humble.

The fact that he likes her is not fair. It is not fair at all, and he knows it. Acceptance is a challening feat, one Changmin has yet to accomplish in a world of win-or-lose and do-or-don't.

It is not fair, why? It is not fair because Kyuhyun got to her first. He got to this lovely, flexible foreign woman with a heavy accent that explains i don't know your language but i'd like to know you, To smile, however, is to speak the language of the world, whether one is dark-skinned or light-skinned or young or old, and Victoria's smile is the loudest speaker of them all.

Kyuhyun introduces his lady friend one day as Victoria. "Song Qian is her real name," Kyuhyun tells him later on, "but only I'm allowed to call her that." Victoria blushes and Changmin laughs awkwardly, trying to remember when Kyuhyun became the master of cheesy pick-ups.

Victoria and Changmin become friends, and the three become inseparable. Changmin loves Kyuhyun, but Changmin loves Victoria.

He loves her unhealthily, the type of love that makes one desperately hunger and not able to eat; to make one restlessly tired and a complete insomniac; and lastly, to make one bubbling with emotions and flat on the surface, void of emotions other than the slight nod of indication.

(changmin catches his opportunity with yoona instead, and they watch a movie about two lovers and a friend. it's ironic and hilarious and he goes home that night with swollen eyes and a deflated heart.)

Out of the four friends, Victoria is not the first.

Victoria is heartbroken, but she does not completely know why. They are friends - they are friends, and nothing more, and she wishes to accept that but her heart breaks every time he smiles at her laugh and her is not her. Her is Yoona, doe-eyed Yoona, the princess of SM that everyone is in love with.

She didn't think he was like that, Kyuhyun. He doesn't like stereotypes. He likes his own person.

But with him, that is what Yoona is. She is her own person, and her identity is not stolen away to the lights and the camera and everything else that publicizes her beauty.

Victoria tries her best to smile her brightest and dance her hardest and sing her loudest in the few lines given to her, but she is just a friend. His friend. His tutor for whenever he goes overseas. His buddy to laugh with when he's down and joke with when the world is serious and to eat with when it's time to begin a comeback, so they can fatten themselves up only to lose it all and never get it back.

She is just the girl that sits next to him as they bundle up in blankets and prepare to watch Yoona's newest drama, unknowingly to him breaking her heart as Kyuhyun smiles and tells Victoria how he visited Yoona onset during this scene and that scene.

(victoria decides she'll stick to being kyuhyun's tutor as she sees him laugh with yoona in the cafeteria, yoona picking up a bowl of kyuhyun's favorite brown rice and setting it on his tray. she goes back to the dance room and smiles brightly at changmin - smiling to cover up what shouldn't be there. "ready to practice?")

Out of the four friends, Kyuhyun is not the actor.

Him and Changmin probably have the closest relationship in the company. They are the best of friends, the ones that tell each other right from wrong and sit on the corners of the streets, rating girls on a scale from one to ten (and in kyuhyun's case, sometimes even eleven in the summertime.)

So he doesn't really understand why he is jealous. Changmin is Changmin and Kyuhyun is Kyuhyun; he is Kyuhyun, the guy who befriended the whole of the company in less than two months, and the guy that had already captured the hearts of many in a minute's worth of debut.

He is Kyuhyun, the guy who likes his best friend. His best girl friend, because she just is that perfect.

But his best girl friend likes his best guy friend, and maybe that's why he is jealous. He is jealous of the fact that maybe in this story, he is not the main character, but a supporting role, and Changmin and Yoona are the leading couple that fall in love with a smile and a laugh and two hands that interlock like two pieces of a puzzle, and he is the mismatched piece that doesn't fit anywhere.

(he calls victoria later on to ask her if she wants to catch up on their dramathon, and tries not to watch as yoona enters the recording studio, movie tickets in hand for changmin and her to watch that night.

kyuhyun decides he doesn't need a role in this story. he's not really an actor, anyways.)

Out of the four friends, Yoona is the smartest.

Yoona is the girl that knows the story onscreen and behind-the-scenes, and she never is able to tell whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

She sees the way that Changmin looks at Victoria, and the way that Victoria looks at Kyuhyun, and she shamedly admits to herself that she sees the way Kyuhyun looks at her as she does to Changmin.

She is exactly like them in this story of four, where their love story is in a circle of friends and foes and lovers and heartbreakers.

She is not any different than them, because it would make no sense. Her heart beats in her chest at a pace that speaks to her, and is uncomprehensive when Changmin walks past her and straight to the Chinese girl that pulls his heart in. Her heart does not have the eyes that she does, and it only pains through the meaning it gets through the two eyes that displays a scene of a love that is not hers.

That is not theirs, because none of them will get a happy ending in the end.

She thinks to herself, sometimes, that love should not be a burden. It should be happiness and warmth and only the best for everyone. But it is not, because love is not bipolar, it is evil - it tricks one in the beginning to make one believe that the emotion they feel is good for them, and they keep on feeling it until it becomes a drug that one cannot get off of. And when the emotion wears off, the drug does not, and they are there in a heartbroken mess.

Yoona is the smartest because even though she loves, she does not fall into the trap like everyone else.

She takes the drug and makes sure she never let's herself off.

End.

Introduction

2011-10-12T23:29:18Z

Title: Introduction
Fandoms: DBSK, f(x), MBLAQ, Super Junior
Pairing(s): Joon/Victoria with mentions of Kyuhyun and Changmin
Genre: AU, Humor, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Kyuhyun introduces two of his best friends, and sparks fly.

Victoria doesn’t really know much about Korea, except it’s a lot busier than China. Or Seoul is, at least. She wouldn’t think so because it’s such a small country, but the people here never stop moving. Literally.

So far, her only friends happen to be a tall, thin, and rude music major that used to live next door to her, and his stupid roommate, Changmin. His name is Kyuhyun, and Victoria has no idea as to how the two have become friends. But they have, and she decides not to question it because he isn’t that bad.

Keyword: that.

That is, until he decides to bring her along to his best friend’s annual Christmas party.

~

She meets Joon three weeks prior to the party. He is a little shorter than Kyuhyun, but much more built and handsome. He’s got bright, smiling eyes along with a charming smile and an awkward way with words. He’s funny in the ditzy way; she knows his blonde hair is dyed, but she wouldn’t be surprised if it was like that naturally.

He is in her dance class, and Victoria has to admit that dancing comes to him effortlessly.

His moves are not harsh, but they are not soft, either. He has a touch to his dancing, and whenever the music comes on, Victoria is mesmerized by the way he moves. She ponders over asking him for lessons, and decides against it.

She probably wouldn’t know what to say anyways. It’s not like she’s any good with words, either.

~

Kyuhyun introduces her again to Joon that same weekend. He invites her to study at a coffee shop with him – Victoria is baffled when he asks because he’s taking time out to not being playing video games, but Victoria has long learned to not question miracles.

She gets a text right when she is outside of the coffee shop that their table is way in the back – the corner table where that freaky painting is of the naked woman. Victoria rolls her eyes. Kyuhyun would choose a spot like that.

When she goes inside, she sees Kyuhyun chatting with someone at the counter, smiles, and walks to the table to find his backpack – still closed – sitting on a chair. The table is covered with papers for Calculus, but when she looks closer, she sees the hip-hop team sign-up form amongst the rest of the sheets. Victoria doesn’t remember Kyuhyun telling her he liked to dance; hell, she doesn’t even remember the last time he actually exercised.

Kyuhyun walks back to the table, accompanied by a familiar face, and her first thought is, holyshitjoon.

So that’s who the hip-hop team try-outs were for. That makes more sense.

He raises his eyebrow and smiles when he sees her, and she tries not to grin back too hard. Kyuhyun watches them in amusement. Zipping open his backpack, he pulls out a massive textbook and slams it on the table. Papers fly everywhere and Victoria just slightly wonders when Kyuhyun became weird.

“Study time, anyone?”

~

When Victoria is in the midst of finally cleaning her dorm room, Kyuhyun calls her. “Victoria, I need you to come over.”

“I can’t. I’m busy.”

“Doing what?” She doesn’t get the chance to say anything when he says, “Never mind, I don’t really care. Just come over, now!”

“What’s so important?”

“Changmin is sick!”

Victoria sighs. “Take him to the doctor.”

“He refuses to go! I don’t know what to do!” She hears coughing in the background, and then a high-pitched shriek – she assumes that’s Kyuhyun – and decides that cleaning isn’t all that important.

~

She arrives there less than five minutes later, only to find Changmin in front of the television with a bag of Cheetos in hand, watching the newest soccer game. Kyuhyun is tapping away on his laptop. Victoria scowls. “What the hell did you call me over for?” she demands. She only blames herself, because Changmin doesn’t get sick, but now that she’s here, she might as well know.

“We’re going to a party.” Kyuhyun looks up at her and grins. “A Christmas party.”

Victoria rolls her eyes and grabs the Cheetos away from Changmin in anger, popping a handful in to her mouth. He stares at her in disbelief. “You called me over to tell me that?”

“Yes, because I needed to make sure you would say yes.”

“Well too bad. I’m not going.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I can’t. I’m busy.”

“You don’t even know when it is!”

“But I’m busy whatever day it is.” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, signals to Changmin, and suddenly she’s on the floor. There’s an athlete on her back and a computer geek on her legs and she cannot believe this is what she’s forced to put up with. When her breathing cuts off, she yells, “I’ll go, I’ll go!” It takes three swears, promised with her heart unless she hopes to die, before they let her up.

While she’s leaving, her clothes now wrinkled and ruined, Victoria glares at Kyuhyun. “I hate you,” she mutters.

He waves at her without looking up from his computer. “Love you too. See you in two weeks.”

~

Her days working as the library assistant aren’t usually that exciting, but today happens to be an exception. She is picking up a pile of dropped books – it’s in the back of the decimals shelf where most of the students go to make out – when he passes by. He seems to actually be searching for a book, but Victoria can’t really tell, because it could just be another guy trying to hit on her. She wishes she knew how to say, “Fuck off,” in Korean.

“How can I–” She sees his face and her words are suddenly lost at the tip of her tongue.

He smiles. “Joon.”

Victoria blinks, and her dry throat suddenly opens up again. “Yeah, Joon. Kyuhyun’s friend. I remember.” She tries to force a grin out, and her eyes probably end up looking super squinty. “How can I help you today?”

“I was actually looking for a book.”

She opens her mouth, and then closes it again. Joon stares at her amusedly. She opens it again, closes it one more time, and then laughs. “I think I can help you with that.” Victoria takes him to the front desk and he follows behind eagerly, and as she helps him, Victoria can finally say she likes one of Kyuhyun’s friends.

Maybe even better than Kyuhyun himself.

~

Kyuhyun takes her to the mall the Friday before the weekend of the party. He claims that she needs a new dress because her wardrobe is made up of granny clothes.

She didn’t think her winter sweater was that ugly.

The first thing he does when she tries on the trashy red ‘holiday’ skirt he picks out is shred her clothes. There is an office supply store next to the clothing store they’re at, and he drops her outfit into the shredder. He runs out of there before the manager can ask where the smoking smell is coming from.

This leaves Victoria naked for the rest of their mall trip, as well as super pissed. She refuses to come out of the dressing room until Kyuhyun has gone out and bought her decent winter clothes, and later on, a cone of ice cream as well.

They go through twelve different stores in a period of seven hours, and by the end, Victoria is ready to strangle Kyuhyun.

But he’s picked out the perfect dress with the perfect accessories and the perfect shoes and if Kyuhyun didn’t have a girlfriend, Victoria would assume him to be one of those gay men in hiding with his knowledge about fashion and everything of the sort.

The dress is so lovely that she ends up promising she won’t pull any last minute cancelations.

She slips the dress on when she’s in her dorm and experiences what it feels like to be a princess for the first time in her life.

~

That next Tuesday, Victoria drops by the convenience store at Changmin’s request. She’s still so happy – even a bit excited for the party coming up – that she doesn’t bother to complain. She just takes the list of items that he needs and slips a twenty and a ten out of Kyuhyun’s wallet.

While she’s searching through the list – she doesn’t even want to know why he has condoms listed down – that she bumps into him. Victoria looks up and this is the third time in two weeks.

“Joon,” she musters, because she’s finally caught on to the fact that this is probably going to happen often. “What are you doing here?” Joon holds up the basket in his hand, filled to the brim with instant ramen and soft drinks. She grins.

“And you?”

She shows him her list, smiling as he scans through it. “Just a bit of shopping.” His eyes widen and Victoria suddenly remembers all that Changmin’s got down the list and takes it back quickly. “It’s for Changmin. The after shave isn’t for me, I promise.” Joon looks at her and she grimaces. “Or the condoms.” He’s still eyeing her strangely and she stuffs the list in the back of her pocket. “I’m not like, dating him or anything. That’d be weird. We’re just friends, and I was returning a favor. Because I would never have sex with him. No, that’s weird. And awkward.”

Realizing she’s babbling, Victoria shrinks back and pretends to be eyeing the fruit in the back of the convenience store. “I have… Things to get,” she settles on, sneaking past his arm.

“Wait, Victoria!” but she’s already rushed to the register, throwing down all the bills in her hands and running away before the manager gets the chance to return her change.

When she reaches their apartment, Victoria makes sure to smack Changmin with a wooden spoon as she gives him the requested items, and spit in his ramen after she’s heated it up. And when he isn’t looking, she drops his wallet into the dishwasher just before she leaves.

~

The day before the Christmas party – the first Friday they’ve had school off for winter break – Victoria offers to meet up with Kyuhyun at a restaurant for a dinner party with some of his friends. He needs a date, and his girlfriend is out of town for the break. So, Victoria fills in, and as she’s dressing, she can only grimace at the thought of actually dating Kyuhyun.

Thank gosh that’s never gonna happen, she reminds herself.

When she’s done and ready, Victoria pops over by Kyuhyun’s place to wait for him. Changmin is, once again, sitting in front of the television, watching a basketball game. “Isn’t this the same one as last week?” she asks. He stares at her and she shrinks back and decides it isn’t. Changmin calls Kyuhyun when Victoria begins to ransack the kitchen, and he runs in completely dressed except for the fact that he isn’t wearing pants. His thin, white legs are disgusting.

“Ew,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “Put on your pants.” He leans over to the couch and takes out the ironed dress pants that were hanging off the side, beginning to pull them on. “Not in front of me, you stupid!” Victoria raises the knife in her hands – the one she is using to cut the massive block of cheese Changmin has been hiding from her for the past two days – and Kyuhyun runs out of the kitchen.

Later on, when they are driving to the restaurant, Kyuhyun reminds Victoria that as the guy, he is supposed to pick her up. Victoria eyes him, and Kyuhyun just rolls his eyes in defeat.

~

“Fuck you, Kyuhyun.”

“What?!”

“You didn’t tell me Joon was going to be here.” Victoria recalls the awkward convenience store incident and tightens her hands together in attempts of not beating Kyuhyun with her bare fists.

“He’s in my circle of friends. You know that.”

“So is Changmin, but he’s not coming here.” Kyuhyun looks at her strangely. “Sorry. Stupid answer.”

“Why does it matter that Joon is here?”

Victoria sighs, links her arm with Kyuhyun’s, and walks towards the table with a bright smile on her face. She makes sure to sit in the corner and step on Kyuhyun’s foot every time he opens his mouth to speak – but that doesn’t stop him from speaking anyways.

~

Towards the end of the dinner party, when most of the group has drifted away, Victoria is still waiting outside of the closed restaurant because Kyuhyun has disappeared to the kitchen to compliment the chef (and, she admits, to steal some food for him and Changmin – and if he’s nice, Victoria – to snack on that night). In the bitter wind, she can’t see why he feels this is such a necessity.

In the midst of cursing him under her breath, she feels a tap on her shoulder and whips around to see Joon lean back as her hair flies everywhere. “Oh, sorry!” she whispers, brushing her hair back and reaching out to touch his forehead. He watches her and suddenly, the whole issue becomes awkward. She retracts her hand and settles on scratching the back of her head. “Sorry,” she repeats.

“What are you still doing here?”

Victoria glares back at the kitchen before answering Joon. “Kyuhyun wanted to compliment the chef.” Joon nods, ah-ing, and she smiles. “I should be asking you that question,” she retorts.

Joon looks up and sees the smirk on Victoria’s face, and can’t help but break out into a grin himself. “I was actually on my way home; I just saw you here.”

She hopes her face isn’t turning as blood-red as her heart is lacking, because the oxygen travel in her body just stopped and she can barely breathe. Yet, her heart is pounding at a million miles per hour and she suddenly regrets not paying attention in anatomy, because this feeling makes no sense at all. Victoria looks down and grins an irrepressible grin, and Joon laughs.

Kyuhyun decides to come out right at that moment, running over with three carry-out boxes with him. “Victoria!” he calls, and when she looks up, Joon is gone.

~

Victoria spends the night with Changmin and Kyuhyun. They stick the twin beds together to create a queen-sized bed, and Victoria finds herself stuck in the middle as the two gossip about their stupid guy drama.

At around five in the morning, where Changmin is passed out on her stomach and Kyuhyun under her arm, Victoria on the verge of falling asleep herself, Kyuhyun yawns. “Hey Victoria,” he whispers, and she mumbles something about Changmin’s bad breath. “Could you get that stupid, shit-eating smile off of your face? It’s too happy.” She smiles, hits him on the face, and the last thing she sees before she closes her eyes for the night is Kyuhyun’s attempt to hide a smirk.

~

“Are you sure this looks okay? It seems a bit short, now that I think about it…”

“You were in love with it two weeks ago.”

“I know, but it just doesn’t have the same appeal.”

“Are you fucking with me, Victoria? I am not buying you another dress half an hour before the party starts.”

“I know, but I just don’t see it working with me. My hips look big.”

“No, they don’t.”

“I know, but–”

“If you know, then why did you say it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Shut up, Victoria. You look fine. Get in the car, or go naked.”

“Coming.”

~

When they arrive, Kyuhyun can feel Victoria shaking next to him. Her red dress is blowing around, and she’s trying to keep it down while staying warm at the same time. He sighs and takes off his jacket, putting it over her shoulders. “Don’t embarrass me,” he mutters before heading inside. Victoria scowls at him, but still tightens the jacket around her.

The first thing she notices when she steps inside the house is that she knows no one here. Not a single person.

Everyone is dressed in nice, fancy clothes, just as she is, but they’ve all got someone to impress. Victoria, on the other hand, only knows Kyuhyun, and she wouldn’t in her right mind attempt to impress him.

After wandering around for half an hour, trying to socialize in her broken Korean and failing, and then covering up for it by inhaling half the snack bar, Victoria decides she doesn’t really want to be here. She even tries to sit in the backyard, but almost ends up falling in the pool after a couple making out decide to ignore that she’s a human being too.

She texts Kyuhyun, telling him she’s going to take a bus home. Then she texts Changmin and tells him she’s dropping by.

Neither of them reply.

~

Victoria ends up walking home because she doesn’t have enough money for the bus fare. She doesn’t know whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, because while the bitter air is kind of refreshing, there is a man who has been following her for the last three blocks.

She enters a convenience shop, pretends to be looking through the food, and then leaves.

He waits until she comes out to start walking again.

She doesn’t know whether she should scream rapist, or wait until he actually makes a move. Just as she decides she’s going to make a run for it, he jogs up to her and takes her arm. “RAPIST!”

Victoria kicks him in the shin and bolts, not stopping even when she hears him call her name.

~

Two blocks down, when Victoria is resting on a bench from running nonstop, she sees him appear once more. She opens her mouth to scream again, but he holds up his hand and groans. She guesses it’s the ankle. “It’s me, Victoria. Joon.”

Her mouth forms an ‘O’, and she can already feel her face heating up. “Well, this is embarrassing,” she mumbles.

Joon walks towards her and takes a seat on the opposite side of the bench, examining his ankle. Victoria looks closer and sees it’s black in the middle, purple and blue bruises surrounding it. Her face scrunches up and she winces. “Sorry…” He looks up at her and smiles when he sees her face.

“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know who you were.”

Joon laughs and rubs the back of his head, and for a second, she kind of likes that she isn’t the only awkward one. There’s one thing they have in common. “Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have followed you without saying it was me.”

They sit together in silence, when the shop behind them turns on their lights and begins playing old, ballroom music. Victoria recognizes the song; it’s her parents’ song. They would dance in the night every time it came on the radio, and Victoria would watch them from the couch, humming along and wishing she had someone to do the same. As she sits on the bench, whispering the lyrics under her breath, she can’t help think this is the time she misses China most.

“Do you know this song?” Her thoughts interrupted, she glances up at Joon. His hand is stretched out in front of her face, and she slowly takes it. How long has he been standing up?

She almost trips when he swings her around and begins dancing, but there is an easy settlement when they both begin to step in sync. Maybe it’s because they’re both dancers; she doesn’t really know. But his eyes are twinkling and so is his smile, and Victoria thinks it is kind of funny that Joon is that someone.

When the song ends, Joon doesn’t let go of her hands. He just lets them drop to his side, so her arm is brushing against him. Victoria can’t explain why she isn’t cold anymore, but she thinks it might have something to do with the fact that they are standing so close together. The wind blows roughly, suddenly, and the two of them look up at the same time to see the leaves of a mistletoe plant land into the tree above them. The red berries are shining under the crescent moon; Victoria really wishes this wasn’t happening.

Joon laughs again – his laugh is so addicting, Victoria thinks – and looks at her with a broad smile on his face. She knows he is enjoying this. “Do you know what Kyuhyun would tell me if he knew I let you go like this?” he asks.

Victoria is the first one to lean in, balancing on her toes and setting her hands on his muscular shoulders, but right before her lips brush his, she makes sure to add, “I don’t really want to find out.”

~

Victoria doesn’t reach Kyuhyun’s dingy apartment until three that morning. Changmin is sitting on the coach, his eyes red and dry, playing videogames. “Where’s Kyuhyun?” she asks.

Changmin looks over at her and sees her distressed state: messy hair, blurred makeup, and heels in hand. “Where have you been?!” he screeches, and it takes Victoria at least thirty seconds to regain her hearing. Even then, she can assume that her left ear drum has been blown out. “I have been sitting here, all alone, waiting for you to come home after you sent me that text. What took you so long?!”

Victoria laughs. “So you do care.”

“Just tell me what you’ve–” He stops when he sees Victoria grinning, and doesn’t even bother to turn off the game console before he rushes to their room. “Grossgrossgrossgross do not tell me what you’ve been doing never mind I don’t care ew gross I can’t believe Joon would ew, ew, ew!” The door slams shut and Victoria laughs, running over there.

“How did you know it was Joon?!” she calls.

“I’m Kyuhyun’s best friend; why wouldn’t I know?!” he yells back. “Now go away!”

She bangs on the door loudly, still laughing, trying not to burst out laughing in amusement as she hears Changmin mutter, “And to think I stayed up all night when she was doing that.” She can see him shuddering inside and wonders why she didn’t think of this earlier.

~

When Kyuhyun comes home, Victoria is sleeping outside of the door, which is now cracked open. He peers inside and sees Changmin lying on the floor. He can’t tell whether he is dead, passed out, or just asleep.

He drags Victoria in the room, throws her on the mattress, and with great effort, manages to fit half of Changmin on the bed before he gives up and collapses next to Victoria.

He sees the stain of her lipstick around her lips, smiles, and mumbles to Victoria to not have too much fun with Joon every night before he falls asleep.

~

Victoria doesn’t remember a Christmas to ever be as fun as her first one in Seoul.

a/n: written for kpoplikecrack's f(blaq) challenge. the pairing/prompt was joon/victoria; mistletoe. while i think the fic itself was kind of stupid, i had a lot of fun writing it, so i'm pretty satisfied. hope you all like it! :)

oh, also, i got a new mood theme, if you haven't noticed. courtesy of singthistunes, who runs the graphic comm, angelwoodsman. she's working on a bunch of new moodthemes, like cnblue and ft island, so if you want a new one, you should go check that out.

Driven

2011-09-30T23:05:53Z

Title: Driven
Fandoms: f(x), MBLAQ
Pairing(s): Seungho/Amber
Genre: Fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Amber experiences her first high school crush in the form of adulthood.

Amber had never been particularly religious, but she still prided herself in being one of the more frequent church goers in f(x). Out of all five, Luna would have probably claimed first spot, and Krystal last. Krystal felt as if the world made to be peoples’ temporary happy place before they admitted to their sings – because, of course, everyone went to hell sometime or another in her eyes – and she had strong feelings about God creating the world for people, rather than himself. In this sense, maybe Krystal was the most religious. Amber didn’t really know. Victoria was kind of in the in-between, and Sulli was pretty much indifferent about religion in itself.

At least none of them are nuns, she thought.

~

The first words Seungho ever said to Amber were, “Nice to meet you; I’m MBLAQ’s leader, Yang Seungho!”

It wasn’t anything special, but the brightness of his teeth and the sparkling in his eyes made her feel as if she’d been proposed to. Krystal could sense the mood change when Amber managed to stutter her name out to Seungho and realized her little baby was growing up.

Later on, she pulled her aside and suggested having a double date with her and Cheundoong.

Amber told her it was too sudden, realized what she’d admitted to, and left, ashamed of herself. But secretly, Krystal told herself, this was where their story began.

~

Amber didn’t really know what she pushed herself towards. What did she want to be in life? To be famous? Been there, done that. To be rich? Well, not exactly, but close enough. To be adored? Hello, they’re called fans. To discover something? Nothing worth discovering, really.

To be in love?

Amber pondered over the thought of living to love and decided it was one of the stupidest ideas in the world. Why would someone live only for someone else? Then, they weren’t really living. They were just helping another person live. Amber didn’t really make sense out of the logic, but she still thought it was pretty stupid.

(later on, when she had run out to grab a couple of drinks for her and the girls, she saw an old man and woman, hand in hand, walking in the park. he was holding a cane and she was swinging an ancient 1980’s purse back and forth, but they were staring at each other with such happy smiles on their faces.

amber thought if she could live like that, she’d undoubtedly be happy for the rest of her life, and then shook off the thought and rushed home before victoria’s preferred latte cooled down.)

~

One day, when Krystal was halfway through with painting Amber’s toenails – she had insisted that no one would see them, considering she wore sneakers day in and day out – Amber decided that she would attempt to care.

“Krystal,” she began, “what do you think of me?”

“As what? A woman? A friend? A sister?” She looked up and grinned, an evil smile on her face. “A brother?” Amber sat up and hit Krystal on the head. “I’m kidding!”

She sighed and leaned back, her hands on the carpet floor. “I don’t know. As a friend. What do you think of me as a friend?”

Krystal smiled as she continued painting her toenails, each stroke exact and precise. “I think you are funny, and cute, and sweet, and fun to be with. Trustworthy. Honest. Loveable.” She blew at her own nails and examined her professional work on Amber’s left foot. “I think you’re a pretty awesome friend. Probably even one of the best I’ve had.” Dipping the brush back in to the bottle, Krystal peered at Amber’s big toe. “You know, in ninth grade, I had this one friend. She was a bitch.”

Amber glanced at her. “And?”

“That’s it. So what else were you wondering?”

Amber, about to ask about this so-called friend of hers, decided she didn’t really want to press the matter any further. So she moved on. “How about as a sister?”

“A little different, I guess.” Krystal scrunched up her face, thinking. “More loveable, but not as sweet. Not very girly, or cute. More like… Pretty? I don’t know. But as a woman–”

“I didn’t ask–”

“As a woman,” Krystal continued, ignoring Amber’s protests, “you are very feminine and probably the nicest person on this planet.” She took one of Amber’s hands in hers and began painting those nails as well. “Amber, you are very innocent. And I have thought about it and thought about it,” as she said this, she gripped Amber’s hands tighter – so tight until they were almost blue, “and I am going to change that. I’m gonna get you laid.”

“WHAT?!”

She yanked her hand out of Krystal’s, who knocked the bottle of nail polish over. They both watched as the dark liquid seeped in to the carpet, traveling further up and ruining Victoria’s favorite rug. Krystal bit her lip.

“Shit.”

~

The next week was the same week that Krystal invited Cheundoong over to rehearse their MC lines.

Amber heard the doorbell ring and, when no one else offered to get up and answer it, forced herself off of her bed and to the family room. “Who is–” She was midway through her sentence when she opened the door and saw him standing there.

As an idol, you’d think one would check who was at the door before answering. Amber, in fact, did not.

“Uh…” Amber stepped back, letting the two guys in. One was obviously Cheundoong, but Amber was not expecting Seungho to accompany him. The talented, charming, attractive Seungho to accompany him. “I – I’ll go get Amber. I mean Sulli. I mean, um, Krystal. Krystal. I’ll go get her.” Amber smiled weakly and ran out of the family room, banging on Krystal’s bedroom door.

“Hurry up!” she whispered, trying not to attract too much attention. “They’re here!”

“Who’s here?” Krystal opened the door, and Amber immediately noticed that she was still dressed in her shorts and the t-shirt she’d worn to sleep last night. In bright, bold red print, it read Fuck you. Amber winced.

“Go change! Cheundoong is here!”

“Already?” Glancing at her wrist and finding no watch, Krystal looked behind her to the alarm clock resting on the nightstand. She cracked a grin. “He’s ten minutes early. Just like him.” She stepped outside and closed the door behind her. Amber stared in disbelief as Krystal greeted the two guests – her profane shirt and all – and led them to the kitchen for, as Luna would call it, brunch.

Amber decided that she would just hide in her room until they left so she wouldn’t die of humiliation.

In the end, though, she was betrayed by none other than the main fucker herself: Krystal.

~

When her door opened, Amber expected Krystal to pop in with a snack or bother her about she wished Minho was emceeing with her instead, but rather, she was greeted by Seungho. Amber shared her room with Victoria who, while kept her side of the room clean, did nothing to aide Amber.

“Hey,” he said, and she could’ve sworn she died inside from the wonderful deepness of his voice.

She shot up and attempted to subtly shove her pile of dirty clothes under the bed. He watched her in strange amusement. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, no!” Amber motioned for him to sit down, running her hand through her short hair. “You can sit on Victoria’s bed. She’s a lot cleaner than I am. Well, not that I’m dirty or anything, but she’s just really organized. Not that I’m not, but she’s just, you know,” Amber made awkward hand motions, not sure why she kept on babbling. “She’s just more organized.” Seungho smiled slightly, taking the offer and sitting down.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in here. Cheundoong looked like he wanted to be alone; actually, no, he looked like he wanted to leave. I think Krystal kind of scared him. But I couldn’t really stand being in there anymore, if you know what I mean.”

Amber looked up from her position as trying to cross her legs like a lady would. It wasn’t really working and she probably looked similar to that of a human pretzel. She grinned weakly. “It’s fine. Krystal tends to have that effect on people. She scares Victoria sometimes, too.”
Seungho laughed and then it went uncomfortably silent, and Amber wished that Krystal would just scare Cheundoong out of the dorm already.

~

The next time she saw him was backstage at the music show Krystal and Cheundoong had been practicing for. She didn’t see the need for her being there, but Krystal did, and while Amber almost always didn’t agree with her, she decided she’d take the offer to tagalong for the day.
She sat in the deserted room with only music to accompany her, attempting to zip up a pair of spiked stilettos as she tugged at the feather boa wrapped around her neck. The stuff she found in 2NE1’s dressing room was just too good to–

“Amber?” The door opened and a familiar face stepped in, and Amber wondered why today had to be the day she wore her Singers Unite t-shirt with a picture of her, Henry, and Justin Bieber on the front.

Seungho stepped inside and grinned that cheesy grin of his, and while Amber knew she probably looked like an idiot in her hot pink boa and barely-fitting heels, at least he was sitting with her. And talking to her. And not looking at her like she was crazy.

~

(amber decided maybe putting her trust in krystal’s hands wasn’t that bad of an idea – as long as she didn’t go as far as trying to get amber laid. but she was krystal, who no one could expect anything out of, so it was probably bound to happen one way or another.

she ended up thanking her anyways.)

Amber now has a reason to go to music shows she isn’t a part of, and attend award shows that the rest of f(x) doesn’t attend, because maybe she’ll catch a glimpse of his bright teeth and sparkling eyes.

She takes Luna’s spot as the church-goer of the group, and suddenly God is on her side, and life couldn’t get any better than this.

a/n: three things.

a) the church reference and stuff, i actually don't know what it was. i wrote it as the beginning and i liked it, so i kept it, but towards the end of the fic, i realized it was totally irrelevant, so i just added something really quick in the bottom. as stupid as it sounds, i don't really know what else to do, so bear with me that

b) i'm like, high off of mini-pizzas and animal crackers and coke - totally not a good combination if i'm attempting to get fit XD - so when i 'edited' this, it didn't really turn out to be editing. i kind of just screwed it up a bit more. sorry XD also, i suck with characterization and i don't know seungho to write him well, and while i thought i knew amber... i guess i didn't. ~~whatever prompted me to pick this pairing, i can only wonderful -.-~~

c) lastly, the only reason i wrote amber/seungho was for the f(BLAQ) challenge that i oh-so-stupidly picked the fandoms for. lol, sorry to anyone who participated and helen. this was such a bad idea XD i promise the next one will be a bit better. any suggestions, people?

Wingman

2011-09-24T00:08:12Z

Title: Wingman
Fandoms: DBSK, f(x), SNSD, Super Junior
Pairing(s): Changmin/Yoona, Kyuhyun/Seohyun, Victoria/Zhou Mi, Hyukjae/Hyoyeon, Donghae/Jessica
Genre: AU, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: In which Kyuhyun gathers the gang and craziness erupts.

Kyuhyun, as unlikely as it seems, is a ladies’ man.

He doesn’t flirty with girls, no, but he has so many lady friends that it could be questionable as to whether or not he is cheating on Seohyun. But Seohyun doesn’t really care, because honestly, the rest of the world doesn’t think as highly of Kyuhyun as he thinks on his own.

~

Yoona has liked Changmin ever since freshman year, when he saved her from a vicious stray dog on her way back home from school. He lived two houses down from her, and had been home early from basketball practice.

Now, they walk home together every day, and Kyuhyun is left to walk with Victoria. Not that he minds, because him and Victoria are best friends, but Changmin and Yoona just look so lonely without him.

He never butts in though, because one, that would be rude, and two, Victoria always has such fascinating stories to tell about her new boyfriend, Zhou Mi. It’s usually the latter, because Kyuhyun doesn’t really give a shit about being rude anyways.

~

Without a doubt, Changmin is one of the best athletes the school has ever known. He has broken so many school records that no one would be surprised if a plaque was made in his honor for all the athletic recognition he’d brought to the field.

He is not, on the other hand, the smartest person in the world. It is why him and Kyuhyun are such good friends – one is a genius and the other an athlete.

It happens during one of their “tutoring” sessions. Kyuhyun is over at Changmin’s house, and they are sitting in the backyard with a Calculus textbook and Changmin’s unfinished homework.

“If you can see here, the pattern for this–”

“Kyuhyun, what do you think of Yoona?”

“No, Changmin, I’m not in the mood for – what?” He is caught off-guard, because Changmin has never once brought up Yoona before. He usually distracts Kyuhyun with food or the newest basketball game that has aired on ESPN Korea. Kyuhyun sets the pencil in his hand down and peers at Changmin. “What about Yoona?”

“What do you think of her?”

It is random, and Kyuhyun has no proof behind the question to say that Changmin likes Yoona. The thought crosses his mind that both of them could have beautiful, model-like babies. “I like her. I think she’s nice. Why?”

“Oh, no reason… So what were you saying?”

Kyuhyun half-heartedly helps Changmin with the rest of his homework. He is too pre-occupied with thinking about how cute Changmin would look in a tuxedo on his wedding day with Yoona.

~

Seohyun promises Yoona earlier that day that she will go to her house to get ready for the date Kyuhyun has planned that night.

Seohyun is in the shower when Yoona decides she wants to talk to him. She knows his number by heart, but it still feels comforting to scroll through her contact list and see his name near the top. She clicks his name, and hits Send Message.

Her fingers are very cautious over the keys, hitting the backspace button once every other word or so. Changmin, we haven’t hung out in a while. Would you like to go watch a movie with me? It is not too direct, not too formal. It is just right. Plus, there is a new horror movie in theaters, and while it is better to watch it with someone like Seohyun, who she can scare, or Kyuhyun, who ends up frightening the rest of the cinema’s audience, or Victoria, who doesn’t get scared at all, Changmin seems like the perfect candidate to cuddle up with.

The message ends up being saved into her drafts as Seohyun hops out of the shower, ready to be done up.

In less than two hours, Kyuhyun is over with a bouquet of roses and a box of goguma sweets. Seohyun is busy applying the last of her makeup, so Kyuhyun sits with Yoona instead.

She is too occupied with examining her nails and telling him about her day at school and about that douche that won’t stop flirting with me in Biology that she doesn’t notice when Kyuhyun picks up her phone and starts messing around with the buttons.

When Kyuhyun has handed the roses to Yoona because Seohyun finds them pointless, and they are halfway done through with the sweets, Yoona’s phone vibrates. Yoona doesn’t get the chance to open the text before Kyuhyun and Seohyun have rushed out the door.

I’d love to. Pick you up at eight, okay?

~

“It’s just so… Heart wrenching,” Kyuhyun explains as he sips at his coffee. Seohyun is trying her best to keep listening with a straight face, while Victoria has long given up.

The place is deserted except for the couple, and Victoria is supposed to take her break in fifteen, anyways.

She grabs a couple of biscuits from the oven and pulls up a chair to join them. “I don’t understand why you’re trying to meddle into their love lives,” Victoria asks, taking a bite of her biscuit. Seohyun whispers something about defying Kyuhyun and the Chinese girl snorts.

Kyuhyun glares at Victoria, but Seohyun nudges him with enough effort to keep him under control. “I’m not meddling into their love lives, Vic. I’m helping them. Those are two different things.”

Victoria rolls her eyes and mutters, and Seohyun catches something about the difference being no bigger than Kyuhyun’s pea-sized brain. She sighs and takes a drink of her coffee and wonders why Victoria and Kyuhyun are such good friends. Kyuhyun is tapping his foot impatiently, raising Victoria’s eyebrow. “What are you so tense about?” she asks.

Kyuhyun glances around the shop. Seohyun squeezes his hand comfortingly. “Hyukjae said he was coming, but I have no idea what is – Hyukjae!”

The door opens and the bell rings, and Hyukjae walks in bickering his with his on-and-off girlfriend. Behind them, Donghae is rubbing his head, still dressed in a suit from work. “Why do you think this is such a big deal? We’re only trying to help them!”

“They don’t need your help, stupid,” Hyoyeon shoots back. “You can’t even get your own love life together.”

“Bu – bu–” Hyukjae is sputtering with such intensity that Donghae can only pat him on the back and push him forward. His cell rings and suddenly, Hyukjae and Hyoyeon are back to arguing. Donghae walks near an empty table and laughs into the phone, and Seohyun can only assume that it is Jessica that he is talking to.

Kyuhyun opens his mouth and Seohyun can already hear the words shut up lining his lips, so she clamps her hand over his mouth and doesn’t even wince when Kyuhyun bites down. “Why don’t you two come join me and Victoria–” Kyuhyun bites down harder, and she inwardly cringers, “and Kyuhyun?”

Hyoyeon glares at Hyukjae before pulling up a chair between Seohyun and Victoria, and Hyukjae makes sure to sit on the other side of Seohyun. “So, what’s our plan for tonight?” Seohyun’s hand drops from Kyuhyun’s mouth.

He opens it again, but Victoria is quicker and says, “Kyuhyun has got this outrageous idea that we should hook up Changmin and Yoona.” Hyukjae – similar to Kyuhyun – is on the verge of saying something, when Hyoyeon interrupts.

“Is that where Hyukjae got this stupid idea? Damn, Kyuhyun, can you please not rub off on him? He’s already stupid enough as it is. Besides, he isn’t even friends with Changmin!”

“What?!” Hyukjae looks flustered. Again. “Yeah I am!”

“You don’t like him because he kicks your butt in basketball and every other sport nameable. No need to lie about it,” Hyoyeon retorts.

The door dings again and Jessica walks in, still dressed in her office attire. Her lipstick is slightly smudged, and her usually straight hair as started to curl, buts he still looks gorgeous. Seohyun understands why the two get along so well as Donghae pecks her on the cheek and leads her to the table. They sit down next to each other, so the small, circular table ultimately becomes Seohyun, Hyukjae, Kyuhyun, Victoria, Jessica, Donghae, and Hyoyeon. Seohyun kind of wishes she was next to Kyuhyun, but she is afraid that Hyukjae and Hyoyeon will start bickering again, when the door opens for the third time that night and Zhou Mi walks in.

None of them except Kyuhyun has met the foreign man, but he’s got such a bright smile that Seohyun likes him immediately. Victoria stands up with an equally blinding smile, and she knows the two are just another Donghae and Jessica. “Guys, this is Zhou Mi.”

Kyuhyun snorts. “You look like your face is ready to rip in half.”

“Shut up.” Victoria sticks her tongue out before she grabs a chair for Zhou Mi to sit in.

Zhou Mi scratches his head awkwardly. “Um… Hello.”

Hyukjae is an idiot, Seohyun confirms, when he decides to pester Zhou Mi about their current situation. “Mi – I’m going to call you Mi, okay? Is that alright? It fits better. Mi.” Zhou Mi doesn’t have the time to answer before Hyukjae begins babbling again. “We’ve got these two friends, Changmin and Yoona, who are begging to be set-up together. Well, not literally, but we can tell they both like each other. You know what I mean. Anyways, Victoria and Hyoyeon, the girls that they are, think we shouldn’t help them, but Kyuhyun and I are all about helping people. So, we think–”

Hyoyeon cuts in, scoffing with so much disbelief that if all the saliva hiding in the back of her throat came out and smacked Hyukjae between his eyes, Seohyun would not be a single bit surprised. “Hyukjae, shut up. No one was asking you to ‘help’ anyways.” Victoria grins. Zhou Mi looks utterly confused.

“No one asked you to shove in, either,” Hyukjae says to her. Kyuhyun smirks, and Zhou Mi’s head looks like it is throbbing. Donghae is whispering to Jessica as she types away on her Blackberry.

Suddenly, Seohyun’s cell phone rings and the whole table looks up at her. “Excuse me,” she says awkwardly, pushing her chair back and standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

~

Sometimes, Changmin loves having Kyuhyun as his best friend. He’s so popular, so smart, and knows all the right people to get into all the right places. Kyuhyun is the ideal "perfect person". Other times, however, he hates even being associated with him. This is one of those times.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Changmin is throwing on clothes and ripping them off, and Hyukjae is biting his credit card with enough force to rip open a shark, and Victoria is talking avidly on the phone with Zhou Mi, and Seohyun is watching amused as, for the first time in her life, Kyuhyun seems to be on the verge of panicking. Not yet crossing the line, but JUST at the border.

“You’ll be fine, Changmin, just don’t worry. We got this. I’m taking care of you, Seohyun already has Yoona covered–”

“What?!”

“And the whole date will go perfectly.”

Victoria closes her phone and sighs, taking a sip of her coffee. Changmin glances at her and she shrugs. No matter where she seems to go, she can’t let go of the fact that she’s working as a barista.

Seohyun pats Hyukjae gently on the back as he glances fervently at the pile of clothes Kyuhyun has picked out. She can’t guess whether it is the number of items or the fact that none of them have been taken from the sales rack – Hyukjae’s very own best friend – frightens him the most. She doesn’t really want to ask, either.

“Kyuhyun…” Changmin runs a hand through his hair, and Victoria laughs. “What are you so happy about?”

“Well,” she begins, and Changmin wishes he hadn’t asked in the first place, “this whole set-up is just so amusing. I mean, I understand why Yoona likes you and all, but having Kyuhyun arrange this date just blows my mind. Do you want to be publicly humiliated for the rest of your life? Why in the name of fuck would you even trust him?”

Seohyun feels like she should defend her boyfriend. Unfortunately, though, she completely agrees with Victoria.

Kyuhyun holds up a suit jacket against Changmin’s broad chest, pairing it with a Fedora. “What do you think, Hyukjae? Should he wear it with the gray hat or the black one?”

Hyukjae bites down on his credit card again. Seohyun pulls it away from his mouth before it rips. “Which one is less expensive?”

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically, glancing at Seohyun. She runs through her head the couple of options – opinions – Kyuhyun would approve of, and then decides, “Why not both of them?” She can feel Hyukjae stare at her with such hurt that God probably counted the one sin as equal to ten, but she pretends – and fails – not to notice.

(later on, when they are walking out of the mall and hyukjae is preparing himself to pay the spree off working for the rest of his life, seohyun pats him on the back apologetically. “i’m sorry, but sometimes i am more scared of kyuhyun than i am of god.”)

~

Seohyun can’t understand how she’s been scammed into coming to this date. It is probably one of the most unbelievable reasons in the world, but it has happened, and now, here she is, crouching behind a rose bush and spying on Yoona and Changmin – or, more specifically, Yoona.

Kyuhyun is on the other side of the bushes, along with Hyukjae, watching over Changmin. Victoria has gone to the bathroom, and even with Kyuhyun’s numerous repeats of not getting caught, she can’t help but worry about the Chinese girl.

Her cell phone lights up and she sits back to check the message in the dark. How is Yoona doing?

Seohyun rolls her eyes. You can see her too, you know.

Then why didn’t you tell me she’s already grabbed Changmin’s hand?

Because– Seohyun stops midway through her sentence and glances back at Changmin and Yoona, who are still awkwardly trying to make conversation over dinner. Yoona’s hands, balled up into fists at her sides, tremble nervously. Seohyun erases the message. Before she can retype her reply, her phone lights up again. Oops, sorry, those aren’t Yoona’s hands. He’s gripping on to a piece of bread.

She smiles and closes her phone, shuffling around to see a pair of sky-high, bright yellow stilettos next to her. Seohyun looks up and sees Jessica staring down at her strangely. “J – Jessica unnie,” she musters up. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m with Donghae, as you can see,” she answers. Seohyun looks behind her and sees Donghae trying to hide a grin. “What are you doing here?”

Seohyun gulps. “I – I’m with Kyuhyun, as you… Can’t see.” She stands up awkwardly. “He’s over there.” She points to the other side of the restaurant, where a scarf is peeking out from behind the wall. “With Hyukjae.” Seohyun doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do now that’s been caught. She wasn’t being that obvious, was she? And it isn’t her scarf that’s poking out behind the – wait.

She feels her neck and realizes her scarf is missing. Her eyes narrow; Kyuhyun brought his own scarf. Hyukjae.

Jessica is still staring at her oddly, but Donghae isn’t even paying attention to Seohyun. He’s holding a lock of Jessica’s hair between his fingers and smelling it, and Seohyun doesn’t even want to know. She sighs. “He’s still trying to hook them up, and me and Victoria were tricked in to coming.” Jessica opens her mouth to say something, probably along the lines of Victoria’s here too? but just then, the Chinese girl pops out with a piece of garlic bread in her hands.

“Man, the waiters here are so obnoxious. Took me forever to – Jessica! Donghae! What are you two doing here? Oh, don’t tell me Kyuhyun got to you too…”

She glances at the two closely, and realizes they aren’t dressed in black attire, as her and Seohyun are. “You two are on a date? Here?” Victoria scoffs and shakes her eyes, and Seohyun catches her glare at the opposite wall. “How ironic.”

Seohyun’s phone lights up again, and Victoria quickly shoos Donghae and Jessica into the restaurant. “You two better go in before Kyuhyun gets here. Otherwise, we’re all screwed.”

~

Not shockingly, Hyukjae is the first one discovered. Shockingly, however, Kyuhyun is the one to get him caught.

Seohyun is in disbelief. Victoria is astonished. Donghae is stunned. Jessica could care less.

Changmin and Yoona are not surprised.

~

“And that is how, I, Cho Kyuhyun, hooked up these two lovely children sitting next to me.” Kyuhyun bows at the crowd and walks back to Seohyun. She laughs, still clapping along with the rest of the attendees. Changmin rolls his eyes and takes Yoona’s hand as they both stand up from the white sofa sitting at the front of the hall, and walk to the middle, right underneath a disco light.

Seohyun can’t help but smile as Changmin and Yoona dance together under the glittering lights. “This is how our wedding should’ve been,” she whispers, bumping Kyuhyun.

He scoffs and adjusts his tie. “And have someone like Hyukjae arrange it? Please. Explain to me the disco ball, Seohyun. Explain. Our wedding was much better.”

“You’re only saying that because you paid for a professional wedding planner to do everything.”

“Not only is she a professional, but she is one of my closest friends. And look, here she is now!” Kyuhyun waves at the door despite Seohyun’s protests of grabbing attention, and Victoria quickly rushes over to them. The train of her dress follows her awkwardly. “Where have you been?”

“Zhou Mi is sick; I had to make him and the kids’ dinner before I left.” Victoria eyes the hall, nodding. “This turned out pretty nice for someone like Hyukjae. Why was it that he planned this again?”

“Because Yoona wanted something small, Changmin doesn’t know how to say no, Hyoyeon didn’t have the chance to stop him, and Donghae and Jessica are always too busy to do things like this.” Seohyun hits him and motions for Victoria to take the vacant seat next to her. In the back, she notices Hyukjae urging Hyoyeon to join the wedding couple on the dance floor.

Victoria cranes her neck to see the other side of the hall. “Speaking of which, do either of you see Donghae or Jessica? I can’t find them.”

Kyuhyun rubs the arm that Seohyun had smacked, and gives her a hurt look. She laughs. “They had to leave early to prepare the gift.”

“Are you guys going to keep talking or join us?” Kyuhyun, Seohyun, and Victoria look up to see Changmin still holding on to Yoona, who is staring at the three in amusement. The pianist continues playing in the background; Seohyun doesn’t remember if this is the she composed and Kyuhyun would play, or the song Kyuhyun composed and she would play. Kyuhyun is the first one to stand up.

“I guess that means we can dance.” He grabs Seohyun’s hand without warning and pulls her up, spinning her all the way next to Changmin and Yoona. She glares at him, but the red in her cheeks is doing nothing to aide her embarrassment.

Hyoyeon and Hyukjae join the stage too, and Victoria finds her ex-boyfriend, Hankyung, hiding in the back. She grabs his hand and forces him to dance, and suddenly, it is like old times again. One by one, more couples begin to join the original, and soon, the whole hall is filled with dancing bodies. Seohyun sees Yoona laugh as Changmin dips her when Kyuhyun steps on her foot. She winces and steps back. “Why don’t I lead?”

“Why would we do that?”

“Because,” she growls as he steps on her again, “I’m the better dancer. Remember?”

“I don’t remember that.” Kyuhyun pulls Seohyun close and makes sure to press down on her smallest toe. She grimaces. “But, I do remember this,” he murmurs as he dips her back so her hair is brushing the wood floors. Seohyun’s eyes widen and she tightens her grip on Kyuhyun’s hands.

“Pull me up!” she whispers harshly.

“Not until you tell me…”

“Ninth grade ballroom dancing, we were partnered up and you dropped me, yes, yes, I remember! Now pull me up!” Seohyun is pulling on Kyuhyun so hard that he’s afraid he is going to fall over when the doors fling open and a gust of wind blows her hair back up so it’s hitting Kyuhyun in the face. Outside, the sound of thousands of wings beating fills the hall.

Kyuhyun drops Seohyun in shock, and she cries out. “Kyuhyun!”

“Sorry, sorry…” He grabs her hand and pulls her up, leading her through the crowd to find Changmin and Yoona. When they do, both of them are holding on to each other, looking scared as hell. He laughs. “Come with me,” he says. Seohyun follows behind them, pulling Victoria and Hyukjae with her when she spots them.

The four planners and the couple watch as a helicopter lands down on the grass and Donghae and Jessica step out. Seohyun tries not to notice the lip stick stains all over Donghae’s neck.

Neither Kyuhyun, Seohyun, Victoria, Hyukjae, Donghae, nor Jessica has time to congratulate them on their wedding before Changmin and Yoona have hopped on the plane and off to a surprise honeymoon, nor are they thanked for their hard work. None of them except Kyuhyun really cares, though, so they just go back to partying.

~

Kyuhyun tells this story to his and Seohyun’s children, and their children’s children, and he even manages to tell the story to Victoria and Zhou Mi’s children, Hyukjae and Hyoyeon’s children, as well as Donghae and Jessica’s children.

(and during their twelfth anniversary, kyuhyun offers to babysit and tells changmin and yoona’s children too.

your mom and dad? i got them together. ask anyone.

and no one can honestly say no.)

a/n: written for douc, who's birthday is today - according to lj, at least. happy birthday! this is probably not anywhere near the best written changmin/yoona, but i have to tell you that i had so much fun writing this. geez, so many otps in one fic. i hope you like it ♥

Smile for Me

2011-09-18T17:10:38Z

Title: Smile for Me
Fandoms: CN Blue, SNSD, Super Junior
Pairing(s): Donghae/Jessica, Yonghwa/Seohyun
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Jessica relives her past in Seohyun’s present.

The words hang off the tip of her tongue, and she bites her lips to keep them from coming out. Seohyun just came home from the first shooting, and her eyes are welled up with tears.

“I have no idea what I got myself into.”

Yuri ends up leading her to the kitchen, while Sooyoung brews up a cup of green tea. Taeyeon looks like she wants to cry for agreeing to this whole set-up, and Hyoyeon is putting the rest of the girls to sleep.

Jessica manages to keep the words in as she walks into Tiffany’s bedroom and tells her she’s going to have to sleep with Sooyoung tonight.

“It actually isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Seohyun is snacking on celery and peanut butter, and Keroro is playing on the television screen because six of the nine girls are occupied with their schedules. Sunny is eager to hear about their amusement park date, and Seohyun is eager to tell her.

Jessica sits off to the side, busy choosing an outfit out for the photo shoot she has later that day.

She pretends she can’t hear Seohyun telling Sunny that she hopes it doesn’t end up being too awkward. She likes him – as a friend, of course. Jessica also pretends she doesn’t see the future behind that sentence.

Jessica watches as the girls tease Yoona, who is mocking crying while they all watch Seohyun laugh around with Yonghwa on the computer screen.

She can’t watch Yonghwa flirt with Seohyun any longer; it’s too sickening for her eyes to bear. She barely remembers the Seohyun that once told her, “I like sweet potatoes. Boys are disgusting.” She barely remembers Heechul laughing as he tells her Seohyun can be her minion. She’s too hard for any feelings. She’s just like you.

Jessica tries not to hear Seohyun giggle as Yonghwa says something over the phone. She doesn’t even answer when Seohyun says good-bye to her.

Jessica doesn’t think she’s ever run faster than she did before when it was out the door.

She can’t believe that Hyoyeon is doing it too.

“Why are you acting like that with Jungshin?” Hyoyeon is caught off-guard by the question, because the other girls were too busy asking about Seohyun.

Everyone looks in Jessica’s direction, who is trying not to lose her composure. “What do you mean? We’re friends; we were just messing around.” Hyoyeon coughs awkwardly. “There’s nothing going on between us, if that’s what you’re thinking.” She glances around, trying to lighten the mood as she says, “We’re leaving that to Yonghwa and Seohyun.” Hyoyeon winks, and suddenly, the rest of the table is in laughter once again while Seohyun is whining, It isn’t like that!

No one notices when Jessica storms off into the bathroom, and doesn’t come out until everyone
is asleep.

Her eyes are red and swollen, but that’s nothing a bit of make-up won’t take care of. It takes her a moment to realize that she’s crying for herself and not for Seohyun.

Jessica comes home late from a schedule one day, and she wishes that she hadn’t come home at all.

Taeyeon and Yuri are huddled on the couch together – she wonders why, of all people, it has to be those two – with a bowl of popcorn and a liter of soda. She doesn’t want to tell them they’re going to get fat; they work off the calories almost as fast as Sooyoung. She thinks about how Seohyun’s lost weight in all the right places since she’s joined We Got Married.

Then she sees Yonghwa grab hands with Seohyun and her face turn bright red on the screen, and she only remembers seeing such a pure tomato color when Seohyun first drank alcohol.

Seohyun’s lost weight in all the right places doesn’t matter anymore because she’s got her answer and it’s right on the television screen in front of her.

She vomits in the middle of the night and wonders why she can’t lose weight.

Seohyun still finds time to read in her busy schedule, and none of the other members can figure out why. Jessica has a bunch of answers – maybe it’s because she isn’t constantly in front of the TV or computer screen; maybe it’s because she knows how to spend her time wisely; maybe it’s because Yonghwa has finally recommended a book and Seohyun just has to read it.

When Seohyun goes to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and maybe even get distracted by helping Yoona clean the kitchen, Jessica grabs the book and flips to the title.

She recognizes the book – it is Seohyun’s favorite self-help book. And there are notes made inside from Yonghwa, who has told her his opinion on almost every single chapter.

Jessica throws the book back down and runs into the kitchen, and sees Seohyun laughing with Yoona over the spilled milk that they dropped. She thinks back to when Seohyun was normal, and would’ve cleaned it up without a single word spoken. As she’s watching the two girls, she wonders whether it’s Seohyun that’s changed Yonghwa or Yonghwa that’s changed Seohyun.

She prays to God that it isn’t the latter.

“Are you okay, unnie? You look kind of sick.”

Jessica’s eyes widen when she sees Seohyun standing outside of the bathroom door, looking concerned. The usual smile on her face is gone, now replaced with worried eyes and a pout. Jessica closes the door and exhales.

“I’m fine, Seohyun. I’m fine.” She rushes to her room, thankful that Sooyoung is pre-occupied stealing food from Sunny, and leans against the wall before collapsing into a little ball. Her breaths are heavy and she’s thinking of that one time when she first joined SM and he decided to – no. She shouldn’t think about that.

Jessica thinks that she should replace Yoona as the actress for SNSD, because just as soon as Seohyun turns off the lights, she rushes back to the bathroom and throws up again.

“He’s eyeing you, unnie.” Miyoung winks and stands up to go throw her leftover food away, only to be pulled back down by Sooyeon. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t leave! What if he, I don’t know… Talks to me?”

Miyoung just laughs and gets back up to leave, and Sooyeon knows she should’ve held onto her tighter when he comes over and sits right across from her. She gulps and glances up at him, and he’s still at the phase where his hair is falling in his eyes, and his smile is still innocent, and his laugh still has a touch of youth to it. “Hi. I’m Donghae.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Jessica thinks she regrets that day the most in her entire life. Sooyeon doesn’t even look back at the memory, but it relives itself in Jessica’s head over and over again, every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

Seohyun always gets onto her for waking up late, but none of the girls ever find it shocking that she always oversleeps. If they knew that she had her own ticking clock in her head, they’d ask her all the time why she never used it. And every single time, she would have answered, “Because I’ve got no control over it.”

Sooyeon is only a trainee, who lives her days to the fullest and makes sure each and every move she makes, she makes with a purpose.

Jessica, on the other hand, is an idol. She abides by the laws, and by all means, will force other too as well.

If Seohyun knew, she would’ve never gotten on We Got Married in the first place.

She’s never been yelled at by Hyoyeon before, but now it’s happening, and she’s wondering when the roles switched around and she became the younger one.

“I don’t understand what your big problem with him is. He’s a nice boy; everyone in this company would be head over heels to be asked out by Donghae. So why aren’t you going to say yes?”

Sooyeon wonders if lying is okay in this situation. “Because…” Her voice quivers. “Because I don’t like him.”

“Liar.” The word is sharp, a needle stabbed in the middle of her back, twisting around and forcing her to squirm in agony. It forces emotions out of her eyes and truth out of her lips. It forces the real out of the fake. “I see the way you look at him. We all do. So why don’t you just go for it?”

Sooyeon glares down at Hyoyeon, and immediately, she remembers why she was born first. “Because, Hyoyeon,” she starts, and her teeth are gritted and so is her heart, “it isn’t allowed. That’s why.”

She leaves the practice room black, yet ice cold.

Jessica has only ever been asked in three situations why her nickname was Ice Princess. The first time is when Yuri calls her that on air, and the MC asks her what it means. Yuri laughs and says, “She’s so serious, sometimes. It’s hard to believe she isn’t an ice princess.” They all laugh, and for a second, Jessica believes it’s true.

The second time is all Yoona’s fault. “I think our ice princess has a couple of words to say,” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth when the host asks them about dating. The other eight giggle, and Jessica shoots them a murderous glare before turning towards him. “She says that only because I refuse to think about dating, or guys. I think we should just follow the rules as they are given.”

The host doesn’t press the matter any longer.

The third time is a complete and total accident, but Jessica feels like it was the worst incident. Seohyun is describing the girls: “Taeyeon unnie is really funny, but she’s also very good at leading us, and I think her and Sunny unnie get along well because they both have mixed personalities.” She goes through every single member in detail, but leaves Jessica for last.

“Sooyeon unnie – no, Jessica unnie, she is our group’s ice princess. She is like me. We aren’t very good at opening ourselves up; rather, we like to keep to each other instead of anyone else. Me and unnie get along very well because of this.”

She smiles at her answer to the question, and then looks over at Jessica for approval. Jessica nods, hints at a grin tugging at the corner of her lips, and doesn’t talk for the rest of the show.

Sooyeon has liked Donghae since she joined SM. She’s secretly glad that Soojung wasn’t allowed in, because if she came first, everyone would probably be all over in a second. After all, Soojung was always the prettier, more noticeable one. Sooyeon didn’t get recognized unless it was for her voice.

She hopes that the attraction won’t fade once he opens his mouth, because that’s happened with one too many guys.

Fortunately, it doesn’t.

Rather, the attraction grows. He’s smart, funny, and has a way with words. He isn’t flirty, but charming. And in today’s age, those are two completely different things.

Her instructor pulls her over one day after she’s taken her break to the vending machine. Dance practice is about to start up again; Sooyeon has no idea what is so urgent. The teacher is her favorite out of everyone, though, so she doesn’t really mind. “What were you doing out there?” she asks. Sooyeon holds up her water bottle in response, slightly confused. “No, before that.”

“I wasn’t doing anything,” she replies. Her voice is unsteady – is that the right answer?

“Did you talk to anyone?”

Oh! “Oh, yeah. With Donghae oppa.” The instructor cringes slightly, and sighs with great burden.

“Sooyeon…” Her tone is heavy and warning. “We aren’t allowed to date. You know that, right?” Sooyeon opens her mouth to say, Of course! when she realizes what the instructor has said. She just nods painfully. Her smile has disappeared. “Okay. Just making sure.”

The rest of dance practice goes by in a blur.

It is Sooyoung’s turn to wake up Jessica. She is tired, dirty, last in line for the bathroom, not to mention hungry. She is in no mood to deal with Jessica’s bitch fits. “JESSICA! GET THE HELL UP!”

She bangs open the door and sees Jessica, back to her, a box of tissues next to her. There is a putrid smell in the room, like someone’s been sick. Obviously, Sooyoung being her roommate, it wasn’t her, so it can only be Jessica. She sees Jessica’s distressed state and isn’t really cranky anymore.

“Jessica?” She takes a hesitant step inside, closing the door behind her. “Are you okay?”

Jessica turns around and sees Sooyoung, her eyes widening. She wipes something off the side of her mouth and pushes the tissues to the floor, before kicking the trash can in its place. “I’m fine,” she mutters. Sooyoung sees her swallow, her eyes darting from left to right.

Sooyoung already knows that Jessica isn’t physically sick. But she doesn’t know what she is.

“I – I have to go.” Jessica’s voice catches at the end of her sentence, and she rushes past Sooyoung and Hyoyeon, who is right outside the bathroom door. Hyoyeon yells when Jessica shuts the door, but after seeing Sooyoung’s expression, changes her mind. She decides waiting a little bit longer wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Yuri is probably the most avid watcher of We Got Married. Hyoyeon guest stars on the show a lot, true, but Yuri keeps up with the episodes like a fan. And honestly, she is one. Yonghwa and Seohyun’s picture is her cell phone wallpaper. So, it scares her that Jessica doesn’t approve.

“You really shouldn’t be supporting them like that, Yuri,” Jessica tells her one day.

Those two, along with Seohyun, both have the day off. Seohyun is in the kitchen, warming up her lunch, while Yuri and Jessica are in Yuri’s room. The music is playing loudly – it’s one of CN Blue’s older songs that Yuri doesn’t know the name of.

Yuri is going off about how she’s planning on replacing Hyoyeon as WGM’s regular guest, and maybe even Jungshin. She’s always had an interest in Jonghyun, anyways. Jessica perks up at the sound of Seohyun’s name mentioned in the same sentence as Yonghwa’s – except, it isn’t really perking up. She feels bile building up at the back of her throat and swallows heavily. “What were you saying?”

“Oh, just how cute Yonghwa and Seohyun looked–”

“Yuri. This is unhealthy. It’s leading the two of them on, pretending like they’re allowed to do this.”

Yuri raises an eyebrow. “But… They are allowed to do it. It’s a public show.”

Jessica rolls her eyes and closes the magazine she is flipping through. “I meant after the show ends. The two aren’t supposed to have a relationship.” Yuri’s eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something, interrupted by the door.

“I brought you guys snacks!” Jessica and Yuri whip over to see Seohyun carrying a tray of food. ‘Snacks’ ends up being a whole meal, complete with a healthy sweet potato pie. She watches as the two eat and smiles, her eyes twinkling with such shine that anyone could mistake them for stars. “Yonghwa taught me the recipe,” she suddenly says, “I’m going to his dorm tomorrow to help him make some.” Jessica chokes on the pie.

Seohyun looks worriedly at her, standing up to help her, when Jessica runs out of the room and to the bathroom. Yuri watches the door behind her, swinging left to right before coming to a complete stop. Seohyun looks horrified, guilty. “It’s okay, Seohyun, she’s probably just feeling full after eating so much delicious food. Don’t worry about it.”

“Unnie… You’ve been really sick recently. Are you okay?”

“I’m not sick, Seohyun. I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

“But you’re always…”

“I’m always what?”

“Throwing up.”

“I can’t hold that much food now. My stomach’s kind of upset. But I’m not sick.”

“Are you sure? It seems like it’s my fault.”

“Why would that be your fault?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like it is.”

“No, it’s not. Don’t think things like that, Seohyun. Nothing is ever your fault, okay?”

“Okay. If you say so.” The door opens and she steps out. “By the way, Yonghwa said he’d really like to meet you. I said you wanted to meet him too. We’re going to the MBC concert together tomorrow, if you want to join us.” The door closes. “Feel better, Jessica unnie.”

Jessica doesn’t know which of the three things are bothering her – or, if it’s all three, which one is bothering her the most. She’s trying to answer Taeyeon with the most dignity she can muster up.

Maybe because she knows it isn’t allowed and hates seeing Seohyun, of all people, decide to break the rules.

Maybe because she doesn’t want it to end badly, and she doesn’t want to see Seohyun hurt.

And maybe, just maybe – though she really hopes this isn’t the reason – she is jealous. No one is after her anymore, and she lost her chance, anyways. But now it is Seohyun’s turn and she doesn’t want to see her happy. Jessica wants to say there is someone that loves her; she cannot, and Seohyun can, and Jessica thinks she just might slightly be jealous.

“Sooyeon?” Taeyeon raises her eyebrow and turns off the volume on the television. Now all they see is Yonghwa teasing Seohyun on the screen. “Did you have an answer?”

“I’m jealous,” she mumbles. “I’m jealous, that’s all.”

She leaves the room; Taeyeon is too shocked to say anything after her.

Yonghwa and Seohyun’s We Got Married ends that next week. Seven of the nine girls are standing at the window, watching as Seohyun runs back outside and hugs Yonghwa for the last time. She enters the door and immediately, Yuri and Hyoyeon run out to the elevator. Tiffany is trying to pull the rest of the girls back, telling them that they’ll overwhelm Seohyun.

None of them notice as Jessica slips out and uses the staircase to head downstairs. She hears the elevator door ding, and she winces as Yuri shrieks.

The rest of her steps are fast and silent, and she runs to the nearest parking lot just as Yonghwa is getting into his car. “Yonghwa!” she calls, and she runs to the car so fast that she’s out of breath. The air is cold and frosty, and snowflakes are starting to fall. She shivers.

He looks up and sees her and gets out of his car, shutting the door behind him. “Jessica?”

Jessica pulls her coat tighter around her and walks toward him. She blinks through the white flakes falling, and sees a confused version of him. “I had to… I had to apologize. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry for what?” He looks genuinely concerned, as if Jessica is having a mental breakdown. For all it’s worth, she could be having one, too.

“I’m sorry for not approving of you and Seohyun. I know you like her, and it’s obvious that she likes you too, and even if it isn’t allowed, I give you two permission to date. If, you know, you want to.” She probably sounds like a complete and total idiot – and looks like one too – but that doesn’t really matter. Jessica opens her mouth again and already feels her vocal chords closing up. “I was jealous,” she whispers. “But I’m not anymore.”

She reluctantly takes her hand out of her pocket and awkwardly side hugs him before pulling back and bowing. “I hope you can forgive me.”

When she gets inside, Taeyeon is waiting for her at the door. She smiles and envelopes Jessica in a hug, and they probably look like a sight to see: a short girl embracing a much taller one, who is suddenly pouring her eyes out, her chest heaving. The rest of the girls are in Seohyun’s room, though, so Jessica cries silently as much as she can, and Taeyeon just holds her.

As she’s wiping her nose with the back of her hand, and Taeyeon is smiling proudly, she sniffs. “I did it.”

Remember that coffee shop date you asked me for a couple years back? Is that offer still open? –Sooyeon

Her phone lights up less than thirty seconds later.

I’ll meet you at six. –Donghae

a/n: i haven't written yongseo in a long time, and this was very randomly inspired, so it might be a little off. forgive me for that, haha.