what doesn't kill you... makes you wish you were dead

FRIDAY WILL REMAIN IN MY HEART FOREVER. :)

bob_mooser — Mon, 22 May 2006 13:58:50 GMT

so i'll start with friday because it was so completely amazing.
so friday after work, catherine and i chilled for a little while, and then went downton to 'city hall' to see... (bam ba da da!!!) 30 seconds to mars. them in all of their beautimus glory.

not only was it an amazing show, really good openers, and such, plus-they played and they're absolutely AMAZING... (they came out on stage to carmina burana... that's wonderful.) but who could have a bad night when there is an up close and personal, living, breathing in all of his hotness and glory -jared leto. the answer is no one. and then they did a -buy a cd, meet the band after the show- thing, and even though i already have a cd... of course, i bought a new one... they signed stuff and it was fun... except i'm not really sure where shannon went off to... so everyone only has 3 signatures instead of 4... but in any event... friday was AMAZING. this is where my subject line comes in.
then saturday i woke up at about 3... got up at like... 4 something... watched a movie, and then got a phone call telling me my mom had a seizure during a church event... so i got to spend my saturday night in the ER. but it turned out okay-ish. so it wasn't too bad. then yesterday we grilled out and had justinn and crystal and the baby over, and then watched the movie 'breakfast on pluto' with cillian murphy. it's... different... but awesome. we had a lot of fun. even though saturday was kinda scary... this weekend was amaZing.

but enough about me...

YAY! i'm back!

bob_mooser — Tue, 16 May 2006 15:50:49 GMT

so0o guys, what's up. i know i said monday, but mondays are just about the busiest days for me, so i'm updating on tuesday. get over it! : ) so i work at griffin technology, i am in accounting of all places. ms berry would shit if she knew that. i handle a large percentage of the accounts. we have accounts that are small, and ones that are very large like target and best buy... i handle almost all of the smaller ones, plus all of our large international distributors. my coworker handles the really big domestic ones, though. it's kinda fun, i get to meet new people all the time, and make international phone calls, try to understand the words coming out of the mouths of the swiss, and be important-ish. i love calling the guys at TNS in Ireland because it reminds me of Boondock Saints... and then i have to go home and watch it again. I actually watched it last night. it's a good movie.

in january, catherine and i got an apartment together... no parents, no rules... well, there are rules, but we made them up.

we have a temporary roommate, tim.

we have a doggy that is a mix between a catahoula and a pit bull. he chews everything up. but he's getting better.

my cousin tim whom i adore moved down here with his girlfriend susi whom i also adore. and it's so awesome because we used to have to drive for 6 hours to hang out. now, they live in antioch. it's great.

soon, marty whom i also also adore is going to move down here and get a place with our temporary roommate tim. soon everyone we know in indiana will be living in nashville. it's great.

and to all my friends, i do have my own place now, if you ever need a safe haven, just give me a call, or i have no problem if you just drop by. i'll give you directions though if you call. : ).
i live at ashland hills apartments at the intersection of briley and elm hill pk in the donelson area. so if you're ever near...

my car's messed up right now, but i should have it fixed this weekend...

and *FRIDAY*(trumpets sound--- bamp ba da daaaa!)
30 seconds to mars is playing at city hall, and i get to go see the beauty and talent that makes up Jared Leto.
Awesome.

WOW!

bob_mooser — Sat, 13 May 2006 22:58:38 GMT

so, i just realized livejournal still exists.i haven't been on here in a while. i don't have a lot of time, but i guess i just wanted to update this to make myself believe i'm still faithful. i'll do it more often now, though. but anyway.... monday... i'll update on monday...! i promise, ok?!
<3
liz

bob_mooser — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 04:57:32 GMT

ok, so after yesterday's fiasco... then comes today

my dad and i put in another application for an apartment, and he called back today to give me the results. usually the news isn't good, so i was expecting the worse.

but then my dad told me to pack my bags.
my dad and i finally got an apartment, and we get move this next week. after 7 months of the family being completely uprooted, we finally come back together. also, my mom gets social security checks now, but it goes in an account with my dad's name on it. she no longer has the ability to legally sign her name to anything ever again, thus she cannot write falso checks, and steal from me anymore.

however, i found out my sister has been engaged to mike since march.
and i called timmy tonight to tell him the good news... and then i remembered timmy's moving soon. and i found out that he's moving friday. to california.
this is almost the worst thing that could happen to me at this time. but i guess i get through it and move on.

it's wearing down on me the most. at least he's not in another country, or not on this earth. i just feel like i'm losing my big brother, and i hate it.

bob_mooser — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 18:48:00 GMT

so i try to be happy and enjoy life the way everyone tells me i should be. and i try so hard. something happens, and i roll it off my shoulders and move on. or so i thought. but i think it's all catching up to me now, and i can't handle it all at once.and with everything i think of, there's something wrong, and i don't think i can do it anymore. i just can't. so... yeah.

bob_mooser — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 22:52:44 GMT

1. you can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life. what is it? orange gatorade. good at work, and in everyday life.

2. if you had the chance to run a movie theater for an entire day, what would you show? slc, donnie darko, shaun of the dead, and other movies of mass comedy.

3. you must choose:
a) die of a terminal illness over the course of three years. you know
it's coming and you have time to get ready for it and do whatever
you want, but it will be very very painful.
b) drop deap on the spot without warning.
a.

4. if you could be any other nationality besides the one you are now, what would you be? canadian.

5. your teeth can no longer be white or yellow. they cannot have a toothy-hue of any sort. it's just not allowed. what color will your teeth become? purple.

bob_mooser — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 23:05:20 GMT

oh fun fun life.

no sarcasm this time, though. i just wanted to update with something so everyone knows i'm still living and thinking of all you.

yes, i am alive.

bob_mooser — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 03:56:22 GMT

sorry guys, i've been neglecting most anything online recently except my pop up on myspace every now and again...

anyway, not much has happened... well then again i guess a lot has happened, but it goes by so fast i don't really recognize much of it.

so, i work at griffin technology now. pretty awesome. it's a warehouse, it's hot, and i'm manual labor, but i love a lot more then any other job i've had...

i got to see my cousin greg the weekend before last for the first time in about 6 years. same old greg. as awesome as always...

then 4th of july weekend...

friday night, went to devin's... got completely and utterly fucked up on whatever could be found... saturday, went to kentucky for a family thing... spent the night with chris and kristy...

sunday headed home. had dinner with devin and his family... then went to miller's house for a party thing. only a little fucked up that night... then monday slept almost all day...

then went to devin's where grayson and rachel were waiting... we went to get fireworks, then out to dana's for a party... then came home... and work on tuesday... and today... and that's about all.

that's what went on in the life of elizabeth this week.

oh, and i think i get to move in with my dad again! we looked at a house right inside greenbrier and i really like it so i hope it falls through correctly...
that'd be awesome!

anyway, yeah.

bob_mooser — Fri, 29 Apr 2005 13:57:30 GMT

Nancy Wiley 3/30/47-4/27/05. everyone be thinking about my friend katie, whose mom has just passed away after fighting cancer. just recently she had to be moved to a hospice, and she passed away on wednesday. i love you katie. so now i'm glad i decided to participate in the unofficial senior skip day. because now, if i can find a ride, i can go visit katie's mom. i hope my mom's not doing anything today so she can take me. hm.

bob_mooser — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 13:06:22 GMT

so. being sick=no fun. but oh well i guess. whatever. i don't like being sick. but i just got done having loads of fun, so i guess i can't complain about being sick now. catherine and i headed up to indiana on thursday after senior assembly. when we got there, tim just happened to be standing on the porch upstairs... and catherine was going to be smooth and park next to his truck because he had taken her usual spot, but her car's kinda small... so she got it stuck. how smooth. thursday night we just kinda hung out. walked to the ball state library. it was nice. stayed up all night, and slept during the day of course. i had been up for a while, so i went to bed early. (aka 5:30 am) then timmytimmy went to work and we all got up and found things to do. we went to red lobster and took tim to eat, then we went to visit tim's (f.) mom. stayed there until about 9:30 or so. then we went to visit tim's (c.) mom. we met her and instantly had a new mommy. it was awesome. then after that, we were on our way back to the house because susan was coming in that night. i talked to her on the phone and she was about 2 minutes away from the house, whereas we were about 15... then we got pulled over by a cop who said we were speeding, but had no idea how fast we were going. so we got a warning. then we got to the house, i screeched in happiness as i saw susan... gave her a hug. then catherine walked in the door, and screeched in happiness and gave susan a hug. and we were all happy. and it was nice. we just hung out, played sega, and whatnot. shot a bow and arrows... which we did a few times this past weekend. but we always had to stop for some reason. there's still an arrow that is m.i.a. :( then saturday was jacalyn's birthday (tim c's sister). so we went to her birthday party where there was a bonfire (which we gathered wood for) and a whole basket of fun. we roasted our own hot dogs and marshy-mallows, and all that good stuff. a day that was really really bad for me turned out to have it's overall sense be quite jolly. i don't really remember a whole lot about that night... i think we all just kinda... chilled out. sunday... what happened sunday... i have no idea. i think that's the day we just kinda sat at the park. i really don't remember sunday at all. oh, yeah. tim got a new phone... oh, and sunday is when we walked around downtown muncie. and then catherine and tim walked to steak n shake. i however, did not join in this bucket o fun. MONDAY! this was our intended ETD. and susan's... however it really didn't work out that well. susan went byebye at about noon. then around 3:30 i said my byebyes to timmy, because he had to work. then we went to say bye to the mom's. but it ended up us only saying goodbye to one mom... we just stayed there for about 7 hours. so then we had to change our minds. so to surprise tim... we put a note on his car window saying bye and whatnot like we did last time... and then we drove home and we were trying to find a parking space that was away from the house so he'd never believe we were there. but by the time we parked, and walked to the house, tim's car was parked out front. so we went in the kitchen door and up the inside stairs, and tim went in the upstairs door. then as we're walking up the steps we hear tim say... well, they left a lot of stuff here. that's when we made our *surprise* attack. Monday night will follow in another entry. then tuesday morning after almost zero sleep. i drove until about 3/4 of the way through kentucky (about 4.5 hours) and catherine drove the rest of the way (about 1.5 hours.) both of us felt like we were falling asleep at the wheel. then we got home and i was sick as anything, so i called out of work, and butch got mad at me... and now i'm still sick. :/ and it sucks. i'mma go to sleep now. night night sort of. oh sunday! sunday we painted! on canvases! that's what happened sunday that took up so much time. byebye.

bob_mooser — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 00:25:20 GMT

oh yes. i am having fun.

this was a great idea.

saturday afternoon, catherine and i headed to terre haute indiana to visit my cousin jeff.

then sunday, we drove to michigan to visit a friend, susan who happens to be tim's girlfriend. she's awesome.

then monday, we headed to muncie indiana, where we are now. i always heard tim talk about his friend, tim. just so happens that he lives here now, and he's awesome. we've spent all this time watching movies, and video games, and playing soul calibur II in person. catherine's been cassandra, and big tim (not my cousin, the other one) has been nightmare.
it's been so fun. tim has to work a lot. he doesn't get off until midnight and later, so naturally, we don't go to bed until 6-10 am. but it's so fun. this has been the greatest time in my life. even though i can't help but think about all the sh it going on at home, at least sometimes i get my mind off of it. today catheirne and i did face painting, and finger painting, and at the moment, she's doing a hemp bracelet. today's big tim's birthday, and he's out with his sister and girlfriend, so we've been alone today. but we've filled our time with amazing things. it's like... 7 o clock here, but to me it feels like noon. now i remember why i want to move here. i could go to school here. it'd be fun. i want to so bad.

anyway, there's a hell of a lot of stuff i could talk about, but i've forgotten it all at this very moment.

however, i'm having tons of fun on my spring break. and i hope everyone else is too. sincerely.

bout to smoke and play zuma. it's a really fun game. oh, yes.

the name of it is zuma, and it's a fun and addicting game.

the end.

bob_mooser — Thu, 03 Mar 2005 01:09:07 GMT

for everyone:
especially child and phebes...

http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html

bob_mooser — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 01:03:35 GMT

so... this week has been tiresome and crappy. but to make a long story short, my joints still hurt, my doctor still hasn't given me my lab results, i'm living with catherine for the next little while, mr slaton called me yesterday... puzzling...

however, my dad took care of my phone bill for me, he's taking care of my bank account that was all messed up, putting extra money in for me for spring break and a little trip to indiana... and i go back to school on monday

so i guess there are good points. anyway.

i think i'mma go. i'm tired. take a nap before catherine comes home just so she can hog the covers!
wench. just kidding.

byebye.

bob_mooser — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 09:18:15 GMT

so guys...
for all of you guys at school, i know i haven't been there this week, but i have my reasons.

my joints started acting up a couple of weeks ago, and then recently got to the point where some days i can't even get out of bed.

i had to have blood tests done...

it could be something as simple as rheumatoid arthritis, or it can be something like hepatits c. (which i've already been tested for, they said it was negative, but they didn't test all aspects of it, so it could be...) or lupus, or diabetes. i guess i just have to see.

i was planning on going to school tomorrow, but as of now, i feel like crap... so i'm not going to.

anyways, my wrists are hurting from typing... so i'mma get off here.
bye guys

bob_mooser — Wed, 09 Feb 2005 01:01:24 GMT

a - age you got your first kiss: 13
b - band listening to right now: watching 'distraction' on comedy central.
c - crush: oh, now... let's not let the secret out
d - dad's name: frank
e - easiest person to talk to: i can talk about almost anything with catherine or tim.
f - favorite bands at the moment: oh, too many
g - gummy bears or gummy worms: worms
h - hometown: nashville, tennessee
i - instruments: none really
k - kids: a few... :)
l - longest car ride ever: to southwest texas.
m - mom's name: renee
n - nicknames: a lot.
o - one wish: GET A JOB!
p - phobia[s]: being alone, raw meat <-taking mitchell's... that and my hands being dirty.
q - favorite quote: what doesn't kill you makes you want to die...
r - reason to smile: just a couple
s - song you sang last: guillotine-precipitation song
t - time you woke up [today]: 6:20
u - unknown fact about me: i am the greatest person in the world
v - vegetable you hate: mushroom.
w - worst habit(s): procrastination.
x - x-rays you've had: i dunno, a while back i got my teeth x-rayed
y - yummy food: fried mushrooms (oh no!! not again!)
z - zodiac sign: libra.

so... computer's not working... sorry guys...

complications... but that's ok. trying to get a job... trying.

bye.

bob_mooser — Tue, 01 Feb 2005 04:05:05 GMT

how come every day when i come closer to have completely forgotten about him, some new memory pops into my mind? silly things like... i got into my sister's car... and it smells exactly like his car did for the 3 years i rode in it... driving past the science museum... where we waited for his brother to meet us one time... everything... i quit.

i officially believe that there is no getting over this. help me out here, tim...

it's 10pm, and i am hereby done with the day. going to bed early, i guess.

bob_mooser — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 02:29:04 GMT

I'm such an asshole
I'm such a stain
I just keep fucking up again and again
You crawled inside my mind when you crawled into my bed
Said everyhting I've ever longed to hear
So perfect, so alive, once inside you sucked me dry
Used me up and left me here for dead
I crave it desperately, a cancer eating me
An addiction too intense to be denied
Worthless, I'm a whore, crawling back for more
Pathertic how I feed off this abuse
You told me that you loved me
You swore that you loved me
And I believed, now I know it was a lie

I don't believe
I don't believe
That I could be so stupid and so naive
I don't believe
I don't believe
That there is nothing, nothing left for me

bob_mooser — Thu, 27 Jan 2005 05:04:33 GMT

so0o. my joints hurt. I'm seriously not liking this. I can barely walk at some moments. I got a new puppy... His name is Pepper... My mom named him... Even though he doesn't look like a 'Pepper' I think I'll learn to live with it. He is a mix between a Yorkie and a Shih-Tzu... And miniature Poodle. His mommy was the Yorkie-Poo and the daddy was a Shih-Tzu... that sounds kinda complicated from here... He is here:

i love him dearly.

+ What time is it?
10:40

+ Your name as it appears on your birth certificate.
Elizabeth Nicole Appleby

+ Nick name?
liz... and a whole list of others... everyone comes up with their own.

+ Piercings?
um, i used to have them... 3 of them... but i don't use them

+ What is the most recent movie you have seen in the theater?
omg....um... oh! i heart huckabees... yeah, i don't go very often.

+ Eye color?
it changes with the seasons. hazel, brown, sometimes a little more green. i'm weird.

+ Place of birth?
Glasgow KY

+ Favorite food?
just about anything... specifically the lipton instant mushroom rice. i hate mushrooms, but i LOVE the rice.

+ Ever been to Africa?
No.

+ Love someone so much it made you cry?
Oh, yes.
+ Been in a car accident?
A few

+ Croutons or bacon bits?
Um. croutons

+ Favorite day of the week?
Saturday. very cliched, i know.

+ Favorite restaurants?
Santa Fe, Olive Garden and a select few others

+ Favorite sport to watch?
Hockey

+ Favorite alcoholic drink?
I'm thinking that Bacardi Razz was pretty good.

+ Favorite ice cream?
something with caramel. or just plain vanilla

+ Disney or Warner Brothers?
Disney, silly.

+ Favorite fast food restaurant?
Sonic. And McDonald's for their cheapness. when you're headed to Indiana on a restrained budget... those $1 double cheeseburgers start looking REALLY good.

+ What color is your bedroom carpet?
beige

+ How many times did you fail your driver's test?
.......just one.

+ What do you do most often when you are bored?
this. or sleep. or try. or get online and play games.

+ Bedtime?
6pm-6am

+ Favorite TV show?
Desperate Housewives (i know, i know. guilty pleasure), Everybody loves Raymond, Family Guy's pretty funny, and South Park.

+ Last person you went to dinner with?
Mom, dad, and Mike.

+ Ford or Chevy?
um. neither...? Honda...

+ What are you listening to right now?
Dashboard. specifically This Ruined Puzzle.

What is your favorite color?
Purple. or Pink. or Green. or Blue. hell, the rainbow's my favorite.

Lake, Ocean or river?
not a lake. ocean's are cool, but too far away. rivers are really deep. Final summation: Ocean.

How many tattoos do you have?
Funny you should ask... I'm desiging mine now. None, yet, but there will be within a short amount of time.

Time you finished this meme?
10:50

bob_mooser — Mon, 24 Jan 2005 04:10:45 GMT

and the other lovely PICTURES

this is what i did to a wonderful picture of mike... i like it! and i set it as his desktop background... that's why there's a love, me at the bottom...

this is chris is his wonderful pimptastic rainbow shirt.

this is emily eating at lunch... i'll give someone $5 if they can tell me what's in her mouth... ONLY if you don't go to my school, though... because everyone at MLK knows what emily eats almost every day... well, almost everyone.

kevin hiding behind a pillow.

and last... but definately not least...

KRISTEN!!!

and that's it...

i definately just cut my hair, and i definately have little hairs itching me all over my shoulders... not cool.

bob_mooser — Mon, 24 Jan 2005 03:10:54 GMT

i think i need my medicine back, because i really don't think i can do this anymore. i just need to get away.

everything. it's just everything. i can't pass by anything without thinking, even in my own room. and especially not even in my own mind.

i've only seen people from school lately, and quite frankly, that's not saying much. i know i've talked about this before, but nothing's changed. some people might be a little tired of hearing about it. but not that many people actually read these. yes, i know there are some people at school who have befriended me. on a school only level. and a couple (meaning one or two) that actually talk to me outside of school. but nothing past AIM.

i just want some friends around that i've talked to about everything and who know my life story. however, there's only about 3 or 4 of them, and i've just recently lost the one who knew me the most. i just want someone to talk to just about all the time. not to rant to, and not to do what i do on here (whine), but just to chat with. to say hello, and how are you, and how's your mom doing... and more personal things than, 'hey, did ya see that sky today? talk about blue!'

and i don't know much about sports. and what i do know, i'd rather not talk about. i just want out of school so i can just... go somewhere. it'd be a little better if i had a place, but i'm thinking given enough blankets, i could be warm enough under some bridge that blocks the wind. catherine sprained her ankle, so she can't really do anything. but she was gonna come over on friday night to play rook with us... mike said earlier that he was gonna come home and watch a movie, so i assumed he'd be home. i don't have a car so i figured someone would go get her... then when i call to ask... he and my mother are going to memphis for the weekend. i know the man needs to see his kids every now and again, but it was a total bummer. they were coming home today, and i got a call at about 2 o clock and he asked me if i would play cards with him tonight, because he wanted to make it up to me... and that he'd go and get catherine. then he says they'll be home at about 7 at the latest. at 7, they're still in dickson. he says he'll stop by home before going for catherine.

at 7:45 they get home... 8 o clock i go and ask when we're going... we're not... ok... bummer again. no one was gonna say anything to me until i asked, because no one wants to be mean and say no, they just want to be nice and lead me on, and let me let myself down. thanks. that's why he was hesitating on the phone. he knew he was going to come home and say he was too tired. it's that kind of shit i can't stand. tell me. don't say nothing.

of course, that's a little small to throw me into a frenzy, i know. that's not it, although it didn't help. i just wanted someone else around. i wouldn't even mind AIM right now. but no one's really on.

i just feel horrible and for absolutely no reason at all.

maybe i'm pretending too much. i keep thinking, yes, i'm over it. i don't need any part of it anymore. i think i've posted about that on here, but now i'm not so sure. because it's ALL i can think about.

i forgot to call shoney's today. oops. i'll call tomorrow.

staying involved with what's going on at school (i.e. finance committee, scheduling our 'senior' week, making breakfast reservations, etc.) is just about the only thing keeping me sane.

when i was almost home on friday, i remembered i left my psych book at school... and we have a quiz on monday... yay...

that's ok, i can still do the dreaded math...

no... my notebook's IN my psych book.

nice.

so tomorrow i'm going to school majorly unprepared which isn't smart for someone like me...

that's why i'm in the situation i'm in already. it takes very little to get me off course, but once i am, there's not a whole lot of keeping me on course. this whole year... i've done very well at doing my homework, keeping up with deadlines, and what not, and tomorrow's going to be the first day that i will be failing miserably in my own eyes. the past three years at school i've done absolutely nothing, which has got me into the spot where i must pass ALL of the classes i'm taking this year... (except my 2nd sem. of AP Psych, because i'm taking it twice for fun i guess) and i've gotten myself into a horrible mess.

Plus now, i can't sleep. i've said this on here before, too. for a few years, i never slept at all... then when allen started sleeping in the same bed with me all the time... i don't know what it was, but it's just something about having someone lying next to you (lol... double entendre! lying... LIE-ING ha! i'm funny... but it's true... anyway,) that just put me at ease... and when he wasn't there, i didn't sleep again. now... i go to bed... i rest... i even go into a lucid dreaming phase (that's where you sort of are asleep, but not really, you can still control what happens in your dreams and whatnot) but i can't actually go to SLEEP sleep. it sucks.

the other day we were watching reduced shakespeare (which is HILARIOUS) in english class basically as an incentive for keeping at least 65% of the class AWAKE throughout the previous day's viewing of Hamlet, and adam had this little red book, and it made me think about the little red book of poetry allen gave me, and how he wrote a message in the front cover, and he spelled 'read' wrong.

that's what made me think of the poem Bright Star by John Keats. because that's the one that made him think of me, and that's the one he told me to read. It was on page 127. The pages were kinda rippled on top for an aged look. I remember giving it back to him a while ago. Boy, am i pithetic?!

:( yeah. someone outside has their music up really loud. and it's annoying. and i'm about to go screaming at someone, because that's the mood i'm in.

yay. it stopped, and i didn't even have to yell at anyone.... hmm... nice!

bob_mooser — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:14:56 GMT

Sarah Teasdale

Let It Be Forgotten

Poem lyrics of Let It Be Forgotten by Sarah Teasdale.

Let it be forgotten, as a flower is forgotten,
Forgotten as a fire that once was singing gold.
Let it be forgotten forever and ever,
Time is a kind friend, he will make us old.

If anyone asks, say it was forgotten
Long and long ago,
As a flower, as a fire, as a hushed footfall
In a long-forgotten snow.

this one's cool, too.

bob_mooser — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:03:37 GMT

John Keats

Bright Star

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.
what made me think of this? hm

bob_mooser — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 05:09:06 GMT

i have...

ray, ben, and brien after cleaning up cat juices

i like this picture and my skills on black and whitening it...

brien's ass

and... i don't know... i'm more interested in what ben's doing right now.

anyways, i had more, but they're being mean, so i'll upload them later

boredom strikes again.

bob_mooser — Fri, 21 Jan 2005 04:00:11 GMT

don't pay attention to typos... i'm really tired... it took me 7 tries to spell the last sentence correctly...
1.Name: elizabeth nicole
2.BIRTHDATE: oct 17
3.BIRTHPLACE: glasgow ky
4.WHERE DO YOU LIVE: nashville
5.EYE COLOR: they change... hazel/dark brown/ even green sometimes.
6.HAIR COLOR: brownish/reddish.... that's a hard question to answer.
7.ZODIAC SIGN: libra
8.INNIE OR OUTTIE: Innie
9.SIBLINGS: 1
10.PARENTS: 2
11.BEST FRIEND: catherine
12.MARITAL STATUS: marital status....? does alone count?
13.PETS: dogs... none others currently... i know, i know, i always have other pets... but my rodents just went away... :( i'm still trying to recover from that...
14.GLASSES/CONTACTS: no
15.HEIGHT: short enough. ... 5'4
16.PIERCINGS: actually none really. ears are pierced, but i don't ever wear anything in them.
17.RIGHTY, LEFTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS?: Righty
18.WHAT'S ONE THING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? just... different things.
19.WHAT'S YOUR MOST COMFORTABLE PIECE OF CLOTHING?: a pair of huge ass pj pants...
20.GOAL IN LIFE: to die. i'd never be disappointed.
21.SONG TO DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE: Mr. Bright Side- the killers
22.FIVE WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF: i really have no clue.
DESCRIBE...
23.THE SHOES YOU WORE TODAY: white and purple vans with pink strings in one and purple in the other for school... bright neon green flip flops when i got home...
24.YOUR HAIR: it's... half up... half down...
25.YOUR EYES: just a tad bit of eyeliner. enough to bring out the color...
26.YOUR WEAKNESS: i'm very gullable... i fall for everyone's shit.
27.YOUR FEARS: loneliness
28.YOUR PERFECT PIZZA: top toppings pizza over by harding mall...
29.ONE THING YOU'D LIKE TO ACHIEVE: being something to someone. for real this time. not being lied to to say i am... and then be fucked over... but literally be something special to someone. be just what someone needs.
30.YOUR MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ONLINE: 'o well'
31.YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST WAKING UP: damnit, it happened again!
32.THE FIRST FEATURE YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE (OR SAME) SEX: overall demeanor... aka, do they handle themselves well, are they nice... blah blah blah... i've had bad jusgement in the department lately... and actually, it's not up to me... tim's choosing for me now... ask tim what i like... :)
33.YOUR USUAL BEDTIME: between 6 and...6.
34.YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: finall getting myself over the... horrible game i thought was a relationship.
35.YOUR BEST MEMORY: being in that car... when i reached over for a simple kiss, got an i love oyu and headed inside. so simple. so happy. he told me he knew at that moment that he knew i meant it... that's why i can't listen to hands down anymore without almost crying. "and i knew... that you meant it"
36.SMOKE: occasionally
37.CUSS:way too much... i should really cut down... i hadn't noticed my language in this so far... hopefully it hasn't been too bad.
38.SING WELL: i don't think so... but many have a different opinion
39.TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: almost... sometimes i skip it...
40. WANT TO GET MARRIED: only if it's right.
41. TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: no
42. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: only on days that begin with H
43. GET MOTION SICKNESS: No
44. GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: i get along with my dad...
45. LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: yes
46. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: no.
.IN THE PAST MONTH, DID/HAVE YOU...
47. DRANK ALCOHOL: maybe... yes... maybe too much in the last month... but at least that's not an everyday occurrance.
48. DONE A DRUG: no.
49. MADE OUT: how? my guy found someone else about 5 months ago, remember?
50. GONE ON A DATE:see above
51. GONE TO THE MALL?: i really don't remember... i don't go very often.
52. BEEN ON STAGE: i've been on a stage... but not the kind you're talking about...
53. BEEN DUMPED: not in the past month...
54. GONE SKATING: no
55. MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: peanut butter to be exact.
56. BEEN IN LOVE: was for a long time... not sure if i was ever 'out' of it... but at least i know i don't need it anymore.
57. DISGUSTED WITH YOUR ANSWERS TO 49. & 50: not on my part... maybe on his.

lift me back into the sun.... I CHOOSE TO LIVE

bob_mooser — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 04:17:42 GMT

To pick up (/edit): Do you have a map? Cos honey - I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Get your own Magic Pick Up Line

jes, i edited it...

I've been doing nothing today but playing rook, and lord of the rings monopoly and trying to be happier than i have been lately.
It's more fun that i thought. I've always been able to smile with tears in my eyes, but now i'm able to change that mood and filter out some stuff and, in my case now, turn it to anger... however i don't believe in being angry with someone for a long time, so i think i'm well on my way to being a much happier person. or at least i hope so.

even though i'm trying to be happier, i've just come to this realization, so i'm going to talk about it anyway. i've just been going through all the things i've heard for the lasst long while... i read a journal entry from back when, when allen was leaving... i wrote something along the lines of ' how am i going to live without the love of my life for FOUR days?' funny thing, 12 days later i was finding out shit i didn't want to know.

with all the shit i heard over the last 3 years, who knows who lied, and who told the truth... and now i'm thinking that maybe i had given andal some slack. maybe he's no more of a liar than allen is... and maybe ty told the truth more than allen led me to believe. so if that's the case, and if andal were to ever read this... which i doubt 99.9%, i apologize sincerely if i have ever criticized you and said horrible things if you did tell the truth. know that i was led to believe something else. i know that is no excuse, however, if you did tell me the truth, and others, i will try to make up my hasty negativity towards you.

i just feel better.

i hope allen's dating around and having the time of his life. sincerely... because even though he told me one thing... in the beginning talking about marriage and things of that sort, then changing his mind and saying we were just dating, nothing was serious, and if he wanted to go out with, and fuck another girl, that he was gonna do it... (yes, that's the statement that ended it.) i know now, that he got caught up in moments, just his personality... and his kind of personality cannot sit still in one place for long periods of time... i know his type are the kinds of people that date around, have a new 'girlfriend' every month, and have fun... and that is something i am not fully equipped to do emotionally, and i know i can't give him what he wants. so hopefully, he's having the time of his life. and if not, serves you right...
sorry, anger, remember...

anyway, and i don't mean to be rude, or try to bad mouth anyone, but like i was telling tim, allen's the kind of guy, who, when angry, will say anything to make you fell really bad so he can have an upper hand, and if you don't play into that, then ok. it's really sad... catherine came over on her birthday, and told me something... she said that she had decided to talk to allen online... how fun... it doesn't bother me much, because i don't know what was really there to say... but obviously, if you were to ask him, i set it up... i don't think catherine thought that'd be the case when she made that decision on her own... but then i went over to her house at about 12:30 am... and clicked to turn her screen on, and there was an im from allen saying something about me and catherine staying out of his life, which, to me looked very childish... the way it was worded at least... but i don't know how the conversation was going before that, so i'm not sure of the context... it's things like that that make me think... and you dated this guy?

i should have looked at the warning signs... we get in a fight one time... on valentine's day to be exact... last year...and he says all this shit about me... i know there's a journal entry about it... so look at me journal in february of 2004... i should've known then... this guy's not for you if he'll tell you he loves you, and when he gets mad at you, tell you you're a piece of crap who has nothing going for her...

but like i was discussing with tim last night... tim chooses my next guy...
he says i should meet marty... because marty's a good guy... i say there's no one like that here, he says marty's single...
i say, even though about 5 of you will kill me for this statement, i'm really not good enough for a guy like that. ya know, attractive, young, vibrant guys, who apparently are the greatest guys when it comes to heart... funny thing is... i've been talking about how bad allen killed me throughout this whole thing, and not once have i been depressed, or started to cry, and now i'm tearing up because i know that that's what i want so badly... one of those guys who can just... be everything. the ones who would rather die than upset or disappoint you... and i know i don't get guys like that...
1. appearances, i'm not good-looking enough, and definately not thin enough for that... there are more attractive girls who also have good personalities... i don't get that far.
2. none of thos kinds of guys are around here...

oh, well...

catherine and i are looking for a place... we actually, honestly discussed moving towards central/northern indiana... not immediately, but in about 9 mos.-1 year... i'd love it... i'm not going to school in the fall.... not sure about spring, yet...
i think i'll be making trips to muncie a lot more often, though. catherine and i are returning in late march when i'm out of school for a week, and she's got a chance to take off work...

that'll be fun...

Graduation is in may... urg... kinda... soon. this whole year is fucked up, though... they 'can't find' my algebra 1 credit, so i have to retake the gateway test in early may so that i can graduate, however, i'm not sure if the results will get in in time for me to graduate... so, fun!

i hope graduation is fun...
i was going to invite allen, because it would mean a lot, but obviously i did something horribly wrong... and he despises me... so if i invite him, and he doesn't show... then i'll be... torn up.... i know it'll disappoint me so much. not because it would mean that he doesn't love me and he doesn't want to be around me... it would only disappoint me because it means, that he doesn't really care. and he never did. and he's an even bigger liar... like tim said last night, i seem more disappointed in him than i am angry with him, actually...
anyway,

all my prayers go to my dearest katie... i know i may never know what this pain you're feeling now feels like, however, i will try to be a good friend to you. so, if there is anything you need... just ask. don't forget that your mommy is now in His merciful hands and what he decided to happen, will. And we're told to not question his motives, but to follow his will. I know it sounds easier than it is... and i know you may think... she has no idea what this feels like, how would she know, and you may think that that is an unfair and insensitive statement, but i mean it in the best. And know that just becuase you haven't always had the chance for good to come out of bad... that you don't have to be pessimistic... something may happen, and everything can be better... we just have to see what He wants, and beg for his mercy. I really do feel for you, and it pains me deeply just to hear about what's going on... i'm almost crying already... and it's even harder to know that you feel this times one hundred. I hope everything gets better. either that, or you make your time the most special in the world... and remember to trust Him and His judgement.
I love you my katiekins...
feel better... (i know that's difficult, but i hope you can...)

i think i'll leave it at that tonight.