Hello and welcome back my dear friends and loyal readers! Thank you for being here with me again. The dark and cold months of deepest winter feel extra chilly this year. There is so much strife and heartache in this troubled country. We must pull together and find the strength to weather this storm. Take care of yourselves and of others. The world needs your love, light and empathy more than ever right now. We can find our way out of this darkness. I believe in you. Whether we've met in real life or we've only brushed up against one another in this digital wasteland, please know that I love you, one and all. 😻bpnwc

January 12, 2026

~One of the neighborhood cats, George, an enormous and sturdy specimen bursting with orange tomcat audacity, has decided that he now resides in our home. He has apparently watched our other cats come and go by way of my bedroom window, which is left open for that specific reason, and he has come to the conclusion that the open window constitutes an open invitation. According to Alex, he hopped in through my window last night and snugged up close to my warm unconscious body for hours. I was sitting here right now in the living room quietly reading when he ambled past my ankles as if he owns the place on his way to the food dish. Good morning hooman. What's for breakfast? 😺

~Reports this morning of armed squads of ICE goons canvassing door to door in Minneapolis. Kicking down doors without warrants, guns drawn. Reports are also coming in from Ohio saying the same thing. Homes full of families and children terrorized. It's only a matter of time before the body count starts to pile up. The screenshot below sums it all up. We are living under fascist occupation.😿

~Donald Trump claimed in an interview today that the civil rights act was a mistake because it caused white people to be treated very badly. I honestly don't know how anyone can actually think this way, but then I know for a fact I've heard relatives of my own attempt to make similar spurious claims along the same lines with the rock solid confidence born of white evangelical mediocrity. We're talking about people who own multiple homes and businesses. You have to be seriously, dangerously deluded to be as wealthy and privileged as all that and still be insisting that you're oppressed by non white humans having equal rights somehow. Professional fucking victims and snowflakes! Conservatives love to talk shit about everyone else and how weak they are, but then they dribble some absolute tripe like this from their chew holes and afterwards they wonder why nobody with a brain takes them seriously. 😺

January 13, 2026

~Nothing really different to report than in days past. I'm trying to take a break from the news of the world today. Finished another snail shell necklace today. This one is for my good friend Chaiah. 😺

January 14, 2026

~Every day for the past week including today, I have woken up with my chest tight as though someone has been crushing my ribcage while I sleep. I'm taking this as a sign that I need to step back from my scrolling once again. It is a hard balance to strike between being informed and being panicked and I have a difficult time mastering it.😺

~Finished another snail shell necklace today. I'm going to start selling them soon. 😺

~Sometimes I'm really fucking dumb. I've all but given up trying to talk to any of my family about what's going on, but my grandmother's nightly call happened right after I read about ICE shooting more people, so I was weak and I brought it up, hoping that maybe shit has finally reached the point that there's no way she could avoid addressing it. Wrong. So fucking wrong. Just like every other time something has bothered me or sat heavily upon my heart, her only advice was just to bury my head in the sand and ignore it.

Jesus Christ on a unicycle! This is the shit that has driven me bonkers my entire life! Just don't pay any attention to all that stuff was the advice I garnered. Find God and accept Jesus into your heart. Then you'll at least have peace in your heart when the shock troops gun you down or the soldiers load you onto the trains. That was the stellar discourse to be had. I should never have even hoped for something different.

As if there's any way I can just ignore shit like this. But they can. And that disgusts me. And if I'm being honest, It pisses me off. Then I feel guilty for having had hateful or resentful thoughts about my 93 year old grandmother. It is an agonizing internal contradiction that I struggle with every single day now. But holy shit…at a certain point you just have to admit that someone is kind of a shitty fucking person if they can simply pay no mind to large scale suffering like this. That smug belief that every bit of suffering is a problem for other people to worry about makes me so angry.

Not giving a shit unless something affects you directly definitively means that you're not a great human being. Being so myopic and nihilistic because, hey, we’re supposed to be just waiting on the day God smites the entire earth anyway right? That is certifiably fucked up. Using religion and Jesus as your reason to not give a shit is diabolical. Calling it “God’s plan” is a cowardly copout. And it is so goddamn hard to reconcile all of that when it's coming from a person I sincerely love and respect in just about every other way.

She will never understand that I'm equally as disturbed by her non reaction as I am about the evil shit happening in the first place. I wish I could just burn my feelings away sometimes. I would give anything for just one day where I didn't care so fucking much about this bullshit. Where I could spend a day without this dull sick burning in the pit of my stomach and this crushing tightness in my chest. Where I could just choose to not feel all of this hurt all the damn time. 😿

Thank you for reading! Stay strong my friends. There are better days ahead of us. If anyone would like to help me keep these lights on and these kids and kittens fed, you may help with a one time appreciation donation at any of these places:

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