in the land of twilight, under the moon

mega evaluation, take 2

bluebeard — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 16:17:56 GMT

Here we go again.

Before I start, I'm upping Mega Altaria's rating to 10/10. I realized over the weekend that her balanced stats are actually good, especially her equal offenses, and here's why: it means her mega doesn't automatically have to go special with fairy'd Hyper Voice. As it happens, Mega Altaria can run Dragon Dance with her 110 attack and 80 speed, and abuse Fairy Skin ("Pixilate" in EN) through Return, which becomes a 130 power physical Fairy move, and of course through Dragon Dance its power is increased. That is boss.

Anyways, in the past few days I've been thinking about some of the other megas, and wrote some stuff down. I don't really plan to use these (and thus won't rate them), and, once again, not all of them will be here, so there's going to be at least one more such post, probably reviewing the mega legendaries and the mega starters.

---

mega STEELIX: First of all, apparently Sean is not here for Mega Steelix, because of the design or something. No, it doesn't make any sense - Steelix is not a looker, and the added diamond stuff only helps it. Whatever, I find both to be butt-ugly and I don't care for either (or Onix, for that matter). draion has warned me about coming for Mega Gengar and Mega Steelix but I'm gonna ahead and ignore his warnings since they both suck and so do their non-mega forms. :D

That aside, Mega Steelix is Nintendo's half-hearted attempt at improving regular Steelix, and I say half-hearted because they didn't improve his special defense enough. It did go up to 95, but that's not gonna cut it, given Steelix's base HP. The Attack boost is very welcome, since Steelix's base 85 attack is beyond awful. So that's nice. The defense boost is also good, but not exactly welcome, because Steelix already has godly defense (200) so 230 is kind of useless; it should have been something like 210, with the other 20 for special defense (making it 115, not 95). So yeah, Mega Steelix's alright, but there's no reason to use it unless you really like this mon. Great boost to Attack and Defense, but 95 on the special side coming from such basic HP stat is going to see him faint to lots of special moves, even neutral ones.

mega GLALIE: Okay, at first I was like "wtf is this is shit lol" but upon a closer look, Mega Glalie’s not bad at all, especially if you like Glalie, which I do (I prefer its design to that of Froslass, although Froslass is a much better mon and far more interesting to work with). Now, they could have made Glalie’s mega to be part Fairy, since Snorunt’s in the Fairy Egg group, but I think that it’s well-established that GameFreak lacks imagination. That being said, it’s not as if he’s unusable; 120 offenses with 100 speed is solid, and certainly better than Glalie’s mediocre 80-everything stats. Plus if you use Protect the first turn and get lucky with his hidden ability Moody (which raises a random stat, so pray to Arceus it’s his attack or special attack or even better, his speed), it might actually work well. And once he has mega evolved, he acquires Ice Skin (‘Refrigerate’), which is actually great on him! He can use Return (130 power via Refrigerate!) and Earthquake for coverage. There’s also Super Fang and Headbutt (for flinching!), which could come in handy now that he has decent speed. On the special side, Glalie doesn’t really have anything to abuse his ability with – sure, he gets decent moves like Ice Beam, Dark Pulse, Shadow Ball, Signal Beam, but it just really inferior to physical Glalie. All the above said, let’s be real here: Mega Glalie should have been a regular evolution (I will NEVER get tired of saying that – ni ahora, ni nunca), because as far as megas go, it’s really fucking mediocre and there’s 0 reasons to pick it over just about every other mega.

mega GALLADE: When Mega Gardevoir was first announced, what we were all asking is "Why hasn’t Gallade gotten a mega too?" Ask, and you shall receive. And now we’re asking where’s Mega Froslass and Mega Slowking (I’m especially here for the latter). Well, here’s the thing about mGard: it’s actually kind of terrible, mostly because of the way its stats are distributed, especially its defense, which remained the same shitty 65 that it has before mega-evolving. Being part-Fairy (i.e. to take advantage of its typing), mGard should have had something like 68/105/135 defenses, keeping its unneeded attack stat at 65 instead of increasing it to 85 for no goddamn reason, and having slightly less special attack (155 instead of 165).

Well, I’m here to tell you the good news: You should 100% use mGall and not mGard. Everything that they did wrong with mGard they fixed with mGall. It is the perfect balance of offense (165 attack and 110 speed) and defense (95 defense and 115 special defense). Yes, Psychic-Fighting isn’t better than Psychic-Fairy, but there’s a reason no-one’s really using Gardevoir’s mega over other megas, and it’s the reasons mentioned above. Sure, Mega Gardevoir hits really hard, and it’s fantastic as a sweeper. But there’s a lot of hardhitters out there who can also take hits better, especially on the physical side, whereas Gardevoir faints easily to even moderately powerful physical hits. Besides, Mega Gallade looks a lot cooler; Mega Gardevoir reminds me of people on Jenny Craig diets. Also Diantha uses her, and I hate that old fancy cunt.

mega SLOWBRO: If you’re confused about Mega Slowbro’s design, you aren’t alone. I am too. Hell, even Mega Slowbro is confused as to how he ended up that way. But goofy design aside, the most confusing thing about Mega Slowbro is how it’s going to be good any good as a wall without any kind of special defense to back it up. Of its 100 allotted mega-evolution stats, 70 went to defense, and 30 to special attack, leaving his special defense the same as before, base 80. Sure, it can now tank physical hits like a boss, since 95 HP and 180 Defense is off the chain, especially with Shell Armor to prevent crit-hits and reliable recovery in Slack Off. That alone will ensure his mega sees usage... probably. Of course, the bad special defense is still there, and so the question on most people’s minds will be something like "why use this mega over other megas?" Upon mega-evolving, Slowbro loses one of the things that makes him useful – his hidden ability, Regenerator – on top of losing his item slot, which could have gone for leftovers or something. So I think people will continue to use Slowbro, but not so much his mega, and indeed, why the hell would they? Mega Metagross has 150 defense and better typing, a better ability, higher offenses, higher speed, doesn’t need Trick Room, and its special defense is 30 points higher, a solid 110. Do the math, bruh.

mega METAGROSS: To understand how much I love Hoenn, you need to understand that I had a Metagross in Emerald. That’s right, I had a Metagross in Emerald. And a Salamence. No, they weren’t just for show. I actually used them in my team, and played through with them. There aren’t a lot of Hoenn mons I dislike, and the ones I do (hi Luvdisc) is because they’re really fucking stupid and/or useless (usually both, like Spinda).

Metagross is an odd chap. His design is very machine-like, and he’s the Champion’s Pokemon. He’s the only pseudo-legendary that’s part Steel, and the only one that’s part Psychic. And just like Tyranitar, and his fellow pseudo-legend, Salamence, he too got a mega. A very, very, very powerful one, and very, very, very problematic for the metagame.

First off, his ability changes upon mega evolution, as is usually the case. His normal ability is good (Clear Body) but not heaven-sent. However, Tough Claws is we’re-all-gonna-die good. Meta was never one for special attacks, so giving him Tough Claws to a physical mon like him is just insane. His Meteor Mash is going to single-handedly destroy any kind of Fairy-type that isn't Klefki or Mawile. His movepool is finger-lickin’ good, with plenty of moves to abuse his new ability. Sounds crazy, right?

Not as crazy as his stats, holy fucking shit. Let me tell you a thing: Mega Metagross has 80/150/110 defenses. As a defense-lover, that makes me cry, especially because his Steel typing is so delicious, even though I FUCKING HATE STEEL TYPES YOU ARE ENEMIES OF THE FAIRY QUEENDOM AND THE GRASS NATION FUCK YOUUU. Seriously though, it’s fucking ridiculous.

Then it gets worse. His offenses are 145/105/110. They could have kept him relatively slow at 80 or 90 speed, but instead they skyrocketed said speed to 110, effectively making him outspeed the base 100 mons. To say nothing of the 145 attack which combined with Tough Claws is going to anhilate just about anything that doesn’t have the bulk (or the resistances) to stand up to this thing. There’s 0 reasons why Mega Metagross should exist, but it does.

If I could express "I’m not here for that" in all of Earth’s 6,000+ languages, I would, and then I’d send a voice recording to Nintendo.

mega SALAMENCE: No.

Yes, I knew it was coming. No, I’m not here for it. I will never be here for it. Silly design aside, my main problem with it is the ridiculous power it wields when it mega evolves, and the crazy-ass 130 defense it gets now, which when combined with Intimidate (prior to mega evolving) means serious business. The good news is that it still 90 special defense, and any decent Moonblast or Ice Beam will knock it out of the sky (but Rock Slides, not so much). The bad news is everything else, namely 145/120/120 offenses. You know how it can learn Fire Blast and Hydro Pump? Well, now it wields those moves with more power than a lot of Fire and Water types ever have. And that’s bullshit.

mega SHARPEDO: Another sad case of "they tried it". I'm just gonna go ahead and say "Don't use this, period". Even if you were to BPass it defense (or special defense) boosts through Iron Defense, Amnesia, Stockpile, or Cosmic Power, it wouldn't be worth it, because lots of megas have better offenses while also being able to take a hit or two. I think he looks cool enough, but this just isn't usable. Sorry Archie but I'm gonna wipe the floor with this thing. TEAM MAGMA FOR THE WIN! YAAAS MAXIE'S MAGMADICK! LONG LIVE PRIMAL GROUDON!

mega SABLEYE: Mega Sableye actually makes me want to use Sableye, but I'm kind of already hooked on Mega Mawile tbh, and Mega Sableye's defenses don't hold a candle to Mega Audino's, so whatever. I really approve of this little guy, tho. Its pre-mega ability is godly (Prankster!) but its mega ability is also good (Magic Bounce). Its bad HP is somewhat remedied through its mega defenses of 125 and 115 respectively, plus reliable recovery in Moonlight and Recover, which Mega Mawile would KILL for. The bad news is that it got 85/85 offenses, but then again, Sableye should never be used offensively, mega or not. This is probably my favourite non-favourite mega (yes that makes sense). XD

mega PIDGEOT: Well to be honest I never cared much for the Pidgey line, and not just because it wasn't good back then. And since BW, Unfezant has been my favourite Normal and Flying type (tied with Mandibuzz and Donkrow for overall fave Flying type), so I care about Pidgeot (and its mega) even less now. I admit that it's very cool, though! It got minimal boosts to its defenses (80 in both, plus 83 HP), which are now "okay" instead of subpar. That's not Mega Pidgeot's main selling point, however, but its crazy special attack boost (now base 135!) and its great speed boost (it got boosted from 91 to 101 this gen, and when mega it becomes 121), plus No Guard ability, which allows Pidgeot to abuse the otherwise innacurate Hurricane, and somewhat-innacurate Air Slash and Heat Wave (move tutor). The latter means he won't be stopped by Steel types. So hey, good for you, Pidgeot and Pidgeot lovers.

...And that's it! I only have the starters' megas and the Hoenn trio's megas left to review! I won't bother with Mega Hoopa for now because it's foolish to be making a mega of something that isn't even out or announced, lol. Plus it's not actually known whether it's a mega or an alternate forme (like that of Shaymin and such).

Mega Evaluation, Part 1

bluebeard — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 23:17:33 GMT

I was gonna talk about my shitty day, but I'm not gonna because I don't wanna. It's not going to solve a damn thing, and it's really just about the same ol' thing: university sucks, you're not learning anything, tests make you pull answers out of your ass, written assignments are stupid, and so on. So instead I'll jot down some thoughts about Pokemon mega evolutions, which are all the rage. It would appear that GameFreak/Nintendo intends to fully milk the mega evolution Miltank (speaking of which, Mega Miltank would be boss), and it's really getting out of hand. But to be honest, it got out of hand the minute things like Mega Gengar, Mega Kangaskhan, and Mega Lucario became a thing. So getting op shit like Mega Salamence and Mega Metagross (which I'll address here) is really not going to make a difference now because that pandora's box has been opened, and their idea of "balance" is really out of balance.

But anyway, here's them. I'm not gonna cover all of them today, just the ones I like.

MEGA AUDINO

[vibrates intensely]
GUI IS REACTING TO THE MEGA AUDICKSTONE!
[mega evolves]
CCOOOOOOOOOOOOCKSSSSS!
MEGA GUI USED SPERM MOONBEAM.
all the basic bitches fainted...

I'm just fucking done. I am DONE. Not only is Mega Audino the perfect combination of Sailor Moon and Puella Magi Madoka Magica, it's also the cutest mega by far, and prettier than fake Latina bitch Mega Diancie (for those who don't know it, the carbuncle is from South American legend). Mega Audino also has nothing to envy Mega Diancie, who gave up its awesome 50/150/150 defenses upon mega evolving and turned to offense (boo!) So Mega Diancie has 50/110/110 defenses, which is not remarkable at all given her HP stat. Of course, Mega Diancie has better offenses than Mega Audino (so does Mega Altaria for that matter) but you forget that Mega Audino is meant to support + heal while his partner does all the attacking, and unfortunately Mega Altaria and Mega Diancie just aren't that good at support.

Let me explain Mega Audino in terms simple sissies like y'all can understand:

It has 103/126/126 defenses. That's more balanced than Blissey (who isn't fairy), higher than Clefable and Aromatisse, almost as bulky as Wigglytuff in terms of HP, and much more physically defensive than Florges. None of those, by the way (except Aromatisse) can set up Trick Room, and none of them share M-Audi's type except Wigglytuff who has terribad stats.

Those defensive stats would be meh if M-Audi was still Normal, but because it's Normal-FAIRY, they're a game changer. It gives him 2 neat resistances to Bug and Dark, and 2 awesome immunities to Dragon and Ghost. He's got plenty of moves to heal himself, his partner, and get rid of status, so damage and status doesn't scare him easily.

So what is he lacking? Speed (only 50) and offensive power (60 Attack and 80 Sp. Attack), which is why you absolutely must use M-Audi to support the team while they do the ass-kicking. Mega Audino is everything my darling Emboar wants in a partner, and even Gothitelle appreciates his support (I may breed a more offensive Gothi now).

There's nothing about M-Audi that I don't love. Well, okay, I don't love Healer too much, but I'm not sure what else would be good on it...? Regenerator is fantastic, but it doesn't do anything for M-Audi's partner, and mons such as him work best in 2v2 battles, not singles.

Overall Rating: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 / 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

MEGA CAMERUPT I am really excited about this one. Camerupt's a bro, but it never had anything worth using, especially in Hoenn. It got Solid Rock later on, and better moves (Earth Power!) but it's not until now that it's better. I resent that its mega is not a full-evolution (just like Mawile, just like Sableye, just like Banette) but that aside, this is a neat camel dude-bro. At 20 speed, Mega Camerupt is going to be the fastest thing on the field after [insert Trick Room setter here] activates Trick Room (and of course, you need to run Protect on MC so he can mega evolve safely during the first turn and give the TR-setter time to set up). Speaking of the TR setter, Camerupt's Earthquake is hella powerful, so if your setter has Protect also (or flies/has Levitate? I've seen people with TR on Gengar, even tho Gengar isn't very good at it) you can spam Earthquake and Heat Wave at your foes. DON'T EVER USE MEGA CAMERUPT WITHOUT TRICK ROOM SUPPORT! I cannot emphasize this enough. Its 70/100/105 defenses are solid, but you don't want to be taking hits either way, especially if you're running Eruption (which you should). M-Cam will be a neat pogey to use, but play him to his strengths - go play with Mega Blaziken like a 10 year old noob if you want fast sweeping. Overall Rating: 9/10

MEGA ALTARIA FAIRY DRAGON QUEEN. The good news is that Altaria has one of the most unique typings in the game, and solid 75/110/105 defenses, with moves such as Roost and Cotton Guard to back them up. Not quite as good, but still quite good, are her 110/110/80 offenses, which means I was wrong about them making M-Alt a special sweeper. Also good news is M-Alt's Pixilate, which it can put to good use with Hyper Voice, giving it a bit more oomph. The bad news is that M-Alt is too balanced (Kingdra says hello) and that's never a good thing. I would never, ever, ever, EVER use Mega Salamance over Mega Altaria (or any mega Dragon, really) but almost everyone else will, especially since M-Sala now has 130 defense for no goddamn reason, plus Intimidate before mega evolving, and much better offenses. But then again I assume that if you've always liked Altaria (and you like its mega), you prefer to use more interesting mons than the typical powerhouses like Salamence. Overall Rating: 9/10

MEGA DIANCIE I'm all about the mega Fairies, aren't I? Let's be real, mega Grass is still Grass-type, and that's bad, and it will always be bad, and 10 years from now it'll still be bad, unless it's a certain Grass-Poison type that looks like a masked rose. But this is about M-Dian so let's get to that... Okay the truth is that I love her design, but I don't care for her stats. I wanted something more like 180 defenses (from Diancie's 150) not more offensive power. But if you like speedy offense, M-Dian will surprise you: 160/160/110 offenses is no joke, and its Diamond Storm and Moonblast will seriously fucking hurt, especially if Diancie has a +Speed nature with max Speed EVs (which you should). But of course, I won't be using M-Dian at all, just regular Diancie, which I actually like better looks-wise and stats-wise. Base offenses of 100 is more than good enough for me, and its otherwise bad HP of 50 is redeemed by her 150 defenses (which if you sort of balance out comes to something like 100/100/100 defenses). I still like M-Dian, but I prefer her without her mega stone. Overall Rating: 8/10

MEGA LOPUNNY If you really want to put me off a Pokemon that I like, give it an evolution (mega or otherwise) that makes it super-offensive. That really turns me off, because it's not interesting. It works with Emboar somehow, but I suspect his 110 HP (and low speed) has to do with it. But I have to admit that Lopunny deserves these changes, and you'd be stupid to not consider Mega Lopunny on your team. To go from 76 Attack to 136 Attack in one turn is fucking insane, and let's not forget that Lopunny was already fast to begin with (105 speed) but when it goes mega it becomes super-fast (135). I really hope she becomes OU through her mega, and that people take her seriously as a Pokemon (and I suspect they will, since that's the fastest Scrappy user there is). Her defenses are alright, but her low HP offsets them. All that being said, I don't plan to use M-Lop, or even Lopunny at this point (except for contests); it's not for me. I'll always love it and it'll always be one of my fave Sinnoh mons, but this is where we part ways. Overall Rating: 8.5/10

MEGA BEEDRILL Everyone's talking about it. The good news is that Mega Beedrill looks incredible, and I have every intention of trying this thing at least once. Even better news is the fact that Mega Beedrill's attack and speed are as high as the sky, even higher than Mega Salamence's which is insane. The bad news is that Beedrill still has 40 defense, so it'll be Accelgor 2.0, pretty much, and without the ability to hold a Focus Sash, I just don't see how this thing is going to be viable outside of furious Baton Passing of Iron Defense (or Cosmic Power). That being said, I'm sure people will find ways to use M-Bee because believe it or not even competitive battlers are tired of using the same ol' shite. Also, I hope that there's a Mega Butterfree, although I personally would prefer Mega Venomoth or Mega Vespiquen. :D Overall Rating: 7.5/10

my favourite tsukiko amano song

bluebeard — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 10:57:27 GMT

1/2 ~a half~

Dearness, shed the tears you’ve stubbornly withstood here
Pureness, you’re too straight, I’ll throw a curve at you

If you face north, I’ll look to the south
Where your sighs go as you tremble a little

I don’t need tightly tied strings or promises
I want to test you, to see whether your magnetism will fade

I love you - putting it into words will bring you closer
Not one part of us is united - we haven’t become one

A half and a half, a broken sphere, it’s making me fidgety
(a d d i c t e d · t o · y o u)

If you look down I’ll look for a shooting star
I’ll become a firework to put colour in your cloudy eyes

There’s no brace to block the chipped walls of yoour heart
How many mistakes do I have to make to get rid of this hole?

I love you; if I can put it into words it’ll lighten my heart
If I lose sight of the twisted bridge between you and me

A half and a half, my feelings overflow, making me feel dizzy
(c o r r e c t · m y · s o u l)

Notice me, I don’t care if it’s a lie
I want you to throw away that convenient existence

I love you - putting it into words will bring you closer
Not one part of us is united, I want there to be a connection soon

I love you - if I can put it into words it’ll lighten my heart
If I lose sight of the twisted bridge between you and me

A half and a half, a broken sphere, it’s making me fidgety
(a d d i c t e d · t o · y o u)

Now, I know for a fact at least half my f-list is ignorant about who Tsukiko Amano is. This is very grave indeed. Tsukiko Amano is a Japanese indie-rock singer/songwriter. She's like the Björk meets P!nk of Japan. Her songs are usual rockish, sometimes punkish. She's very... unique. She's a shameless stan of Meg Ryan, Sharon Stone, Uma Thurman and Winona Riders. Lesbian punk-rock lady, y/y? Me, myself and I think so. Four of her albums were named after the actresses she so admires: Meg & Lion, Sharon Stones, Winona Riders and Uma Salmon. She is a fan of puns, especially in Japanese, and of minimal pairs (two words that sound otherwise the same except for one letter/sound). Her singles usually contain two songs whose names differ from each other solely by the first letter. For example, her single Same includes the songs 'Same' (shark) and 'Kame' (turtle). She is fond of animals, or at least has a huge number of songs named after animals, including those I just mentioned plus 'Chou' (butterfly), 'Fukurou' (owl), 'Karasu' (crow), 'Lion', 'Pigeon', 'Polar Bear', 'Ryuu' (dragon), Spider, and 'Zou' (elephant). Plus there's also two personal favourites of mine: 1) "Devil Flamingo", which she dedicated to me (don't laugh! it's true!) and 2) "Hakase to Kujaku" (PhDs and peacocks), where she talks about being in love with a professor who keeps peafowl in his yard. She also uses a lot of flower imagery in her song's lyrics as well as videos, especially flowers of Japan, like camellias and chrysanthemums.

Her motto in life is: If the end of the world comes tomorrow, I will plant an apple tree.

She's known for her deeply haunting lyrics like in 'Koe' (voice):

If you’re still alive, under the sea / I’ll cut off both my legs and become a fish / If you come close enough for me to fall into the depths / I’ll become a shadow, wandering the endless darkness...

and in 'Chou' (butterfly):

If I can’t hear you scream / I want you to crush me in your hand / while I can still call myself 'me' / Your arm holding me back becomes silent dust / I just looked up at the sky, quietly...

She also has strangely amusing lyrics like in 'Kame' (turtle):

The turtle splashed in its tank / The owner is a doddering old man / The turtle splashed in the tank / I beg to buy one too / Renovating the bathroom, trying to save as much money as possible / “I need to soundproof it too... by the way, is that girl crying?”

and in 'Devil Flamingo':

This world is just an endless circus in the air / Clowns tied up and dancing on one foot / This world is just an endless circus in the air / Devils wearing peach to hide their poison fangs

Four of her songs have been the theme songs of the Fatal Frame series:

> "Chō" for Fatal Frame II;

> "Koe" for Fatal Frame III;

> "Zero no Chōritsu" for Fatal Frame IV

> and "Noise" also for Fatal Frame IV

There's only 3 reasons why someone isn't a Tsukko (that's the nickname us fans gave her) stan:

* they don't like rock
* they have no taste
* they didn't know she exists

anyways, this is her:

welcome

bluebeard — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 09:57:44 GMT

Iʼve lived through many ages.

Iʼve seen suffering in the Darkness.

Yet, I have seen beauty thrive

in the most fragile of places.

I have seen the Book,

the Book that turned the Darkness into Light.

my name is Guill, short for Guillermo. but only people close to me tend to call me that. you may call be Bluebeard or Willahelm or, if you know me from elsewhere, Prince or Devil Flamingo. I'm not really picky about it. I'm not sure how you and your cat found your way into my forest, but since you're here, you might as well leave a comment if you intend to add me to your friends list. I don't mind new friends so long as we have similar interests and I like your LJ.

and yes, this journal is

ALL ABOUT ME . . .

{PERSONALITY}

astrology:

Sun in Leo || Moon in Scorpius
Mercury & Ascendant in Cancer || Mars & Descendant in Aries
Venus & Jupiter in Gemini || Saturn & Uranus in Sagittarius
Neptune in Capricornus || Pluto in Scorpius

Houses:

Martell + Greyjoy || Gryffindor + Ravenclaw

MBTI & Enneagram:

ISFP || 4w3 sx-so

{FILM & TELEVISION}

actors:

Clint Walker, Clive Owen, Daniel Craig, Eric Bana, Gilles Lellouche, Harrison Ford, Idris Elba, Ioan Gruffudd, Jean Dujardin, John Cusack, Jung Woo Sung, Lars Mikkelsen, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelsen, Mark Pellegrino, Mark Ruffalo, Michael Fassbender, Nathan Fillion, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau,Philip Winchester, Russell Crowe, Scott Caan, Sean Bean, Simon Baker, Tom Burke

actresses:

Anne Hathaway, Ellen Page, Famke Janssen, Gemma Arterton, Gong Li, Keira Knightley, Marion Cotillard, Milla Jovovich, Monica Bellucci, Phoebe Tonkin, Rachel McAdams, Rachel Weisz, Scarlett Johansson, Stana Katic, Whoopi Goldberg, Zhang Ziyi

animé:

Axis Powers Hetalia, Bleach, Cardcaptor Sakura, El Cazador de la Bruja, Durarara!!, Fate/Zero, Fruits Basket, Kuroko no Basket, Mai-Hime, Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Rozen Maiden, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Toradora!

K-dramas:

A Gentleman's Dignity, Boys Before Flowers, Cheongdamdong Alice, Coffee Prince, Lie to Me, Oh My Ghostess!, Padam Padam, Secret Garden, Soulmate, The Master's Sun, Triple

movies:

Adam's Apples, Alice in Wonderland, All Over the Guy, Avengers, Beauty and the Beast, Bride & Prejudice, Brokeback Mountain, Casino Royale, Dangerous Beauty, Dr. Zhivago, The Duchess, The Emperor's New Groove, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Harry Potter, The Hobbit, House of Flying Daggers, The Little Mermaid, Mean Girls, Memoirs of a Geisha, Mongol, The Princess and the Frog, Pocahontas, Pokemon, Pride & Prejudice, Saving Face, Say Anything, The Secret of Kells, Sleeping Beauty, Skyfall, Thor, Wuthering Heights

television:

Castle, Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Downton Abbey, Firefly, Fringe, Game of Thrones, Hawaii Five-0, H2O: Just Add Water, Luther, Mad Men, Moonlight, NCIS, New Amsterdam, Pan Am, Supernatural, Terra Nova, The Bridge, True Blood

{LANGUAGES}

I know

Español || English

I'm learning

Français || Italiano || Nederlands || Português

I love

Dansk, Deutsch, 한국말, Íslenska, Latviešu, Nederlands, 日本語, ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, Polski, Suomi, Türkçe

{MUSIC}

America

Céline Dion, Coeur de Pirate, Jace Everett, Jeremy Soule, Lady Gaga, Lana del Rey, Loreena McKennitt, Nelly Furtado, Nox Arcana, Selena, Shakira, Taylor Swift, Tori Amos, Vienna Teng

Asia

Altan Urag, Ayumi Hamasaki, Ivy, Jay Chou, K.Will, Kalafina, Kim Tae Woo, Kokia, Lee Jung Hyun, Rain, Rurutia, Tsukiko Amano, Utada Hikaru, Wonder Girls, Yuki Kajiura, 2NE1

Europe

Adele, Alexandre Desplat, Andrea Bocelli, Andrzej Piaseczny, Benjamin Biolay, Élodie Fregé, Emilíana Torrini, Empyrium, Enya, Faun, Gorillaz, Gossos, Il Divo, Kyo, Laura Pausini, Nightwish, Ozan, Queen, Tarkan, Tchaikovsky, The Moon and the Nightspirit, Týr, Värttinä

burn book

bluebeard — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:19:44 GMT

IDK why but I swear it's an increasingly disturbing trend where out of two siblings one is right in the head and the other is a fuck-up. I won't mention them b/c lolpublic but my friends who have shitty siblings know who they are.

if Alex had a sibling they'd probably be on this list too.

I'm legit thinking of getting a Burn Book for Christmas. I'll just ask mom to get me a pink diary-looking thing, and I'll decorate it myself. No, but seriously. I'm seriously considering this. Something about having too much time on my hands plus feeling hateful as of late, lol. And how fitting, to get it on Christmas. Mostly RL people won't be in it tho, it'll be more like characters I hate, like Uriel from Supernatural. Also celebrities that I hate, such as Katy Perry and Rihanna, plus shitty people overall like the Kardashians. I'm gonna make this a life project tbh.

Next year is the year of the Snake, trololol.

I'd create a TDF one but 90% of the people that go there will be in it which kinda defeats the point.

And I'd make one online but I prefer a paper one because it makes it easier to draw on and shit, and wayyy more personal, o lawd. But I might make an online version anyway lol, we'll see. It'd be on Tumblr ofc.

of science and spirituality (part 2)

bluebeard — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 02:59:40 GMT

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=483475285006821&set=a.456449604376056.98921.367116489976035&type=1

So here are some interesting comments:

Joanna:
Yup! One of the fastest ways to end a conversation with me is to ask me what my sign is.

Kennon:
Well people like you are the problem. Just because you don't believe something doesn't mean we have to deprive the rest of the world of that subject.

Sera:
Ah yes, science, religion and mysticism are incompatible. That old yarn.

Rolando:
Lol every sign says the same thing, its just switched around each month . I really wonder how they come up with these readings :O (probably by gettin' high)

Ariel:
I'm a Gemini, and I just happen to have a lot of traits supposedly associated with Geminis. Of course, the actual explanation is that I'm like that anyway and the whole thing is just a coincidence.

Andy:
If you were to set aside your dogmatic attitude and look look dispassionately at astrology and, having examined it, found that there are observable phenomena and tendencies, would the lack of a model of how it operates cause you to throw out your observations? If so, that's not science.

Aldo:
What baffles me is the thought that people think they're removed from their environment. You cannot remove the mind from the body and the body from the environment, therefore to think we're uninfluenced by celestial bodies when the rest of the universe influences itself is silly. I'd rather say that I simply do not know.

Quinn:
The amount of people defending astrology in these comments saddens me. Go away pls, you obviously don't "fucking love science" if you're so into such an incredibly pseudoscientific ideology.

Sabreen:
FUCKING A, people who believe in horoscoped are mentally handicapped.

Angel:
Im Sagitarius and I believe in examining this concept a bit more.

Tava:
ever try looking into the science of astrology? Zoroaster did.. too bad all that has been lost. but if the moon can affect all the women on earth every month.. which it most certainly does, there is something to that. All the universe rings with music and you cannot hear or see that either.

Akash:
Astrology ain't shit dude

Sean:
Never understood why people actually WANT to believe this stuff. "One-in-a-million" is barely a compliment; astrology claims you're one-in-twelve.

Robert:
The fact of the matter is that your perception defines your reality. If you believe it then for you it is real. No one else may share your interpretation of the world around you, but, you're not ever fundamentally wrong you just have an un-popular interpretation of what you're perceiving.

Andy:
It's ok that you use the word "science" to defend an unwillingness to look at natural phenomena, but in some cases "science" is really "dogma." It makes exactly as much sense as, "The bible doesn't say anything about climate change, so it's just not true."

Paul:
It's amazing how long astrology has managed to remain in our culture in spite of its extraordinarily obvious nonsense.

Josh:
Nothing like the whiners who "fucking love science" but believe in bullshit like astrology with absolutely zero proof.

Mike:
if you don't believe, then your insecure and your imagination fails you, i feel bad and pity those who cant use their brain to unravel the beauty and euphoria that believing in something unknown and that they fear, everyone fears what they don't understand, you fail, your loss, try harder, sucks not being evolved

Natasha:
what's unfortunate is that things are automatically called bullshit when they can not be proven, but also disproven. with the relationship all physical manifestation of the universe shares, why could it not be possible? you don't have to believe it, but it's pretty ridiculous to be so definitive when it comes to the unknowable, which is why theists and atheists are pretty much exactly the same.

Jake:
Natasha, I really like your statement, but really a lot of people do actually believe astrology to be the same as science

James:
Jakes, I wouldn't put it on the same level as the hard sciences, but I do like that, once you make the single leap of faith that planetary bodies affect our personalities, the rest is just geometry.

Jason:
Aries here, I believe in astrology as far as personality types, strength, weakness etc. are concerned... but I find horoscopes to be largely bullshit. They tend to be far more generic, and once you a have a perceived idea of what you THINK is going to happen, you will either make it so or not, consciously or subconsciously. I see the signs as tools of personal reflection, not something to be used to attempt to predict the future!

Danielle:
Astrology is a science in itself and its scope extends far beyond mere horoscopes and personality traits. Any genuine scientists will know that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Be informed before writing something off.

Jason:
Some of the greatest scientific minds in history were also Astrologers. Look it up!

Deb:
Astrology was actually the first science... To study the stars and document in great detail the movement of stars and planets and live their lives by the cosmic structure. When studied, it actually is the reason for many of our systems and symbols on this planet. I love astrology AND astronomy.

Mark:
Lol!! So many people saying astrology is a science. I'm hopeful people are just confusing the terms astrology and astronomy!

Jason:
"Science begins with imagination my friends. Remember that." So do fairy tales. Science may begin with imagination, but it is immediately quantified by hypothesis, tested by experiments and supported by evidence. Astrology is none of the above.

Deb:
The moon is essential to our planet, and affects all of the water on earth. Humans are made up of 60% water. This is why women have a MONTHY cycle, the same as the moon cycles. If you don't thing these planets with HUGE amounts of energy and gravitational pull don't affect us, that's just absurd.

Chantelle:
Yes! Of course, in this world of nigh on seven billion souls there are, obviously, only twelve personality types! Why wasn't that more obvious?? Astrology is science in the same way that creationism is science- it's a crutch for people who can't think for themselves.

Jason:
I think a lot of the argument against Astrology comes from people who are TOO practically minded. Those people never make new discoveries in science, only refine discoveries made by others.

Loxfin:
Wow this just proves your strong christianity background / side. you know astrology has nothing to do with religion and is more based on astronomy. you know the scientific study of the stars in relation to a person's psychological, emotional and physical interaction with other human... If studying that is not science i don't know what it... hell it may even be able to predict who pushes the button. it is when you get people of faith involved do we get shit like horoscopes.

Nicole:
here's a lot more to astrology then many people think. It is surprisingly accurate. I think people should keep an open mind and test it out as I have. Most people I meet do line up with their sub and moon signs. Like someone already said the moon has a huge impact on life here on earth, why wouldn't the other planets in our solar system. It's really a very complex science. Keep an open mind.

Trudy:
If you've never taken the time to drop your ego and immerse yourself in the spirit realm and spend YEARS studying astrology, you shouldn't post this. Just saying.

Rachael:
This is very hateful and offensive, and so are many of the comments. No one is forcing you to believe astrology. No one said that it is 100% accurate/true, or that you have to accept all of it to accept any of it. I'm not even saying what I do or don't believe, here. But there are mysteries in this universe that we do not know the truth about, yet. Every day, science is discovering that things people used to scoff at are actually real. You act like creativity and imagination and speculation cannot exist in a person simultaneously with a love of true science...you compare people with open minds to mentally retarded people (showing how you are ableist as well as bigoted in other ways)...you alienate those who have a different experience of life...you alienate them from the scientific community. Shame on you. And honestly, if someone treated their girlfriend this way, she is better off without them because they are clearly controlling and probably abusive. That's a sick way to treat someone, just because you see things differently. That's bigotry.

Jason:
The very reason we're held together is the precise balance of gravity on this planet. This is why we look and move the way we do and not some other way. Is it so hard to believe that other bodies laying on the blanket of gravity in the relatively immediate vicinity might just have an effect on things so inconceivably small that they only exist in scientific theory? Let's not get started on the concepts of light and consciousness, and how that places a part in this "pseudo-science".

Felix:

For those saying astrology is science, to be open minded etc., you do realise there have been plenty of studies into Astrology and none have shown it to be anything more than pseudoscience? For example, people of different star signs have been supplied astrological summaries of their personality and usually rated them as very accurate, despite them all getting the same summary.

Leah:
I agree science is fantastic. I was raised by a biologist and have done many science courses in university. But I am constantly blown away by the arrogance and self righteousness of hardcore "scientists". You guys are promoting truth- perhaps present it in a way that doesn't insult those who may need to learn more about it and have beliefs beyond the dry logic you propagate. Open your minds, be creative, and accept that there is more to life than things that can be "proven/supported" by scienctific study. Here's a question- have you ever been in love? If so I dare you to quantify or qualify it using scientific methods. In my ideal world, science and spirituality (NOT religion) will be equally accepted. Only then will all our possibilites as human beings explode to the surface.

James:
It boggles my mind that people accept Astrology. It's so transparently stupid (and yes, that includes "real" astrology, not just newspaper horoscopes). Homeopathy makes more sense, and that's saying something.

Tim:
Just retarded humans making shit up again,no different to 'little green pixies live in my attic'.I never understand why certain things get given the time of day like christianity,ghosts or palmistry,you are a cunt if you believe in any of them.

Jason:
that's the beautiful thing about being science: if you want to debate it, present an argument with evidence and wait for the rebuttle. If you're theory is sound, or at least has some ground to it, people will hear you out. I must have read 200+ comments on this and the closest thing to a "reason" for believing in it is "science doesn't know everything". Sorry but if the lack of an explanation means whatever you imagine is correct, then that has some historical implications:
- America doesn't exist, it's just a giant sea monster
- The world is flat and is held up a big guy with it on his shoulders
- Headaches are caused by demons

Astrology has been around since before written language, given it's time frame for collecting evidence, you have 2 possible solutions:
A) it's a dud
B) Astrologists are incredibly lazy

Rachael:
Many genius scientists throughout history thought there was/might be something to astrology...when you say things like this, you are disrespecting them, as well as just being disrespectful in general. You are disrespecting those in the scientific community who do question and think creatively. You are alienating a large chunk of your community and putting off potential friends and allies. Not wise. A few years back, science snots were scoffing at the ideas about energy that they viewed as hogwash...now science is being able to measure it and finding out that a lot of that stuff was correct. Everything is made of energy. Energies effect one another. It isn't too far of a stretch to see that things within the same solar system, or universe, might influence each other. We don't understand it scientifically YET- but don't write it off completely...unless you don't mind looking like a jerk and an idiot when science does find a way to prove it...but don't mock those of us who choose to keep an open mind and be open to possibilities.

George:
But astrology is easily validated and accurate. Obviously it shouldn't be oversimplified. Don't just go by sun sign because that's like 1% of the total data. The whole natal chart must be done and interplanetary aspects need to be taken into account. I've done charts for an array of different people and it always works perfectly. It requires no faith at all, the data is what it is and it's true whether you believe it or not. Do some deep research before you discredit it. Try astro.com and cafeastrology.com for starters. Get the info before closing your mind. I'm tired of ignorant people saying bullshit when they don't know the facts.

Mariane:
this post is really stupid,imagination and dreams is what keeps making life interesting, life is sad and boring itself, retarded are those who lack of imagination. and judge others just because they dont think the way they do, i like science but i think imagination is way more interesting i can go any place i want and see anything i want.

Edward:
it always amazes me how many people (even those who are members of a science group on facebook) argue for the legitimacy of astrology. There is no objective evidence that astrology is accurate. There is plenty of objective evidence that astrology is ineffective, as people tend to agree with various traits that are attributed to certain "signs" regardless of which "sign" the trait is attributed to. The trick is the traits attributed to various signs are overwhelmingly positive, so people will be inclined to accept them. Astrology is not a science, but there is quite a bit of science involved in debunking it.

Pau:
Scientific friends, I am a scientist, and please, you do not have to like astrology, but at least respect it, otherwise, we will be the same as those who deny what they do not understand about us or our sciences.

Edward:
real science leads to research, peer reviewed studies, criticism, and often times practical results. Not unscrutinised, unreviewed, news paper columns written by people with no scientific background. Sorry astrology, if you want to be taken seriously, you're going to have to live up to the extremely high standards set by proper sciences.

Jason:
Astrology doesn't claim that any two signs definitely WILL or WILL NOT get a long or work out in a relationship.. it merely presents a estimation of the chances that you will work it out based on the personality traits presented.

Rickie:
You cannot say that astrology is bullshit...unless you've actually studied it.I have.I have a ton of books on the matter..Guess what?It holds water.you can even forecast events and their nature.Sydney Omarr is an astrologer employed by the U.S. government, that actually predicted J.K's death...you'd think PEOPLE WHO LOVE SCIENCE READ.

Zaynab:
Lol science is still catching up to what man has inherently known. How can something still in its infancy deny something that humans have utilized for centuries. I find it absurd that more studies haven't been done but yet science is blinded by the senses so we shall always have a disadvantage.

Rachael:
I'm not religious, personally I think religion is mind control. However, I think you should be aware of your responsibility as a representative of the science community: if you alienate people of different beliefs with your snobbery and put them off science (possibly for life), you will end up driving off the people who need science most (fundies, uneducated people, etc.) This is a step in that direction. You should be trying to be inclusive and draw people to science. Not make them feel unwelcome, and like they don't belong in the community.

Ceara:
Horoscopes in the news paper are not accurate anyone actually into Astrology would tell you that. And only basing things off someone's sun sign, which is the only bit of astrology most people seem know about themselves (ie girlfriend is a Capricorn-Sun sign), is very vague. Everyone's chart is like a finger print and unless you've actually studied Astrology then you really shouldn't talk badly about things you have zero knowledge on. That's no better then Creationist's dissing Evolution without actually studying it.

Sylvia:
there is a lot behind astrology. most people just don't study it enough to understand it. they remain ignorant to it & reject it for that same reason. you are not JUST your main sign. if that were true, there would be only twelve personalities in the world. we are a cluster of many different signs depending on which planet was in which constellation. i didn't believe it either until i seriously started studying it. its common knowledge that there are more crimes during a full moon because out effects your behavior so that alone just proves how much it does effect us. if they can effect our tides & everything else on our planet, to say it doesn't effect you is, again, a ignorant thing to say. now go ahead & complain that i'm wrong, stupid & have "offended" you. but unless you have studied up on it A LOT then u really don't care what you have to say.

Jason:
I've noticed a pattern with the people who are "believers" in Astrology merely claiming their belief and trying to shed some light on it, while most arguing against it are just going "nu uh you're stupid!". Astrology might not be your cup of tea, sure. But we observe plenty of things that are attempted to be explained by religion or spirituality and not by science. Has there been a scientific study done about why people behave morally? Good will? Some would say that it's because those things facilitate progress.. but what's the point of progress? Why do we try to move "forward"? What good does it do us? Where, scientifically or mathematically, is there room for sentience or consciousness? Wouldn't things go more smoothly without it? Can there be an existence without experience? There are many things science has yet to answer, but does that mean they should be written off?

Sylvia:
astrology has absolutely nothing to do with religion. that's the dumbest thing I've heard on here so far. you aren't worshipping anything, you are mapping out your personality. do your birth charts & get an astrology book. enlighten yourselves.

Frankie:
Great minds studied astrology for thousands of years, great scientific minds

Rachael:
I have no problem with skepticism. I have a problem with mockery and snobbery. I am a skeptic, too. My skepticism goes both ways, so it is a more equal, fair, and scientific skepticism...I am simultaneously skeptical about astrology having any basis in reality and skeptical of dismissing it as not possibly having any basis in reality. This means I have no bias...which is how scientists are supposed to think...a scientist who aims to disprove the existence of something is not being truly scientific. You are supposed to allow for variables, even unseen, and human error, and you are supposed to experiment without a projected outcome and accept the data as it comes to you. We do not have a way to prove or disprove astrological influence as of yet. It looks incredibly foolish to mock something you cannot concretely prove or disprove. THAT is what I mean by having an open mind. If you don't get it, you haven't been paying attention, or you just don't want to get it.

Caroline:
I also want to add that Astrology is the FATHER of Astronomy. FACT.

As for those who minimizes or disregards Astrology, you have no position on the matter if you have not studied it in depth. And I mean, IN DEPTH, not just your Sun, Moon, and Rising signs, but also ASPECTS and comparisons between natal and progressive charts, for instance. You have no position if all you do is weigh your position based on literature written by those who do not believe in reincarnation, who do not believe in a Higher Power other then themselves, or who bases their opinion drawing from literature written by incredibly biased scientists who never even delved into the understanding of Astrology by becoming a student first and foremost.

All planets have vibrational fields. It interacts with the Universe. Humans have vibrational fields, and this is scientific and medical fact. Even energy healing has been proven to be beneficial in complimentary alternative medicine. It is ignorant to say that what happens millions of miles away does not have an effect on our psyche and physical bodies throughout our lives. In doing so, then you are refuting the theories that should the Moon ever be destroyed, that it would create massive changes to our magnetic poles here on Earth, resulting in violent, environmental changes to our seas and land, as well as the affect it would have on human behavior. Studies have already proven that during full moons, violent crimes and crazy behavior among human beings, and even animals, increases. There may not be a way to study the entire scope of these vibrations directly as they are unseen, much like Dark Energy and Dark Matter, but to those unbelievers, I bet you are not doubting that Dark Energy or Dark Matter exists. Just because you cannot see it in place, does not mean you cannot observe its effects.

Frank:
I feel that sometimes people get confused by Belief and Understanding. A lot of people are so quick to slag astrology when they actually know nothing about it. It is so much more than putting everyone in one out of 12 boxes. We are so much more complex than that. Astrology has been totally exploited and abused, this sacred practice has been destroyed and spat on and been widely misunderstood. The problem is when it faces science today and this debate begins, that astrology is not a science.. Its hair pulling for both sides.. Because astrology isn't a science, not in the world of science that we have today... Its, dare i say, beyond today's science.. Because it involves Vibrations that we are yet to understand and explain in a coherent way, but they are vibrations that have been running through us since the beginning of time. And this is where i feel that science today lets us down, they are Limited and unwilling to explore deeper, Its the human psych that we're talking about here, ya'll really think its going to be that easy to crack and lay out in a perfect little calculation? This guy is pretty cool though..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8 This is the closest iv seen to explaining the vibrations and it kinda makes sense as humans are made of around %65-90 water, and the Moon has a huge pull on the sea so why the blazes would it not have a pull on us, and if that is so who's to say the other planets are not involved.... Astrology should not be used for prediction as that is just evil and screws up peoples lives, We make our own destiny! Astrology is a map, it should be used to understand ourselves and each other and for us to remember that our lives are in our hands and that we should take responsibility for who we are!

Michael:
It's amazing how so many people say it very wide and could apply to anyone or they may say that it doesn't apply to them. But do you even fully know what astrology is? If i asked for a birth chart, would you understand what i was asking for? Before you can say something is bullshit or incorrect data then please, learn everything you can about the topic. Otherwise, your analysis is bullshit.

Matthew:
I don't think astrology holds any merit but I do think it's a lot of fun. What's the matter, you can't have fun anymore? To all the people relentlessly bashing astrology: get over yourself and lighten up.

Eirik:
I find it incredibly ironic when what I would call your typical scientific atheist goes off about how unreliable the zodiac is for fortune telling. You're supposed to learn and make informed judgements based on evidence... yet I never hear anyone say: "You know, the zodiac was never intended to be used to predict your personal future using your birthday. It's an old anthropomorphic clock from when we used to tell time using celestial features, which evolved into a form of governance for different cults and trades, the version most Europeans are familiar with migrated from Egypt to Rome to become the foundation of the Roman Catholic Church." No, it's always: "Oh we proved it doesn't work in a study." Way to understand a fraction of the issue, and focus on the most irrelevant part. I'll be waiting when you figure out that every aspect of your society still operates on this old system, including science.

Artur:
"In the last few years there has been a steady spurt in the number of parents who insist on elective caesarean to gain a better horoscope for their babies. However, I never encourage this", says Dr. Kalyani Devi, a leading gynaecologist in Kochi. "The trend has risen to such an alarming level that husbands of some of our patients give prefixed time for the caesareanto get their elective star".

And there it is, lawl. Food for thought, I guess, though at the end of the day I'mma still do my thing. WTF @ people trynna manipulate birth time. That's so fucking dumb. But inb4 "astrology is the reason parents have more babies in Dragon years and/or want babies born at certain times" argument, let me remind you that SCIENCE is a manipulative little bitch just the same. In fact, this isn't even about astrology or science; it's about people being manipulative little cunts. If they had their way, their kids would be blue-eyed and with excellent mathematical skills, an affinity for music (esp. piano) and six feet tall. One day, we'll definitely be able to manipulate (i.e. more than we can now) unborn children, and it'll be done via science, not astrology. Demonizing either astrology (or New Age shit in general) and/or Science is utterly stupid; we ourselves are the demons, and they have downsides because they are an extension of our minds and spirits.

welcome to the madhouse

bluebeard — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 00:49:30 GMT

I was browsing through my foe list, and I found Earth Listener's (username: Chimera) charming forum profile.

Here are the entities that live in her head/spirit/pussy/idk:

Entity #1 is called "Aquasarius". It's a male sea serpent, and its daemon, C'etuskunsigha, is a female common Remora.

Entity #2 is called "Carven-Risen", and it's a female werewolf. Its daemon is a male thylacine called Zitzeelu.

Entity #3 is a bigender mollusk + shark (da fuq is on her biscuit) called "Earth Listener". The daemon is called Danteberos, and it has no gender (Earth Listener probably took it) and it's a white sturgeon.

Entity #4 is a male DEMON called "Kardegray", whose female DAEMON, called Taaskeenmori, is a perentie.

Entity #5 is a female "adlet" (wtf's that) called "Lunatami", and she has a male daemon who is a Norwegian forest cat called Brunmalkin.

Entity #6 is some kind of female feline lifeform by the name of "Mist Weaver" whose daemon is a red-bellied lemur of the female kind, called Weaveree.

Entity #7 is called Pantairin", a female deer, who has a rabbit daemon (English Spot, to be precise) and this daemon is male and called Renge.

Entity #8 is a male unicorn named "Spiridon", and he has a male daemon called Ophionius, who is a corn snake.

Entity #9 is "Zeoriel", a male harpy with a male purple heron daemon called Bennuba.

In the words of Nicki Minaj:

quack quack to a duck and a chicken too

put the hyena in a freakin' zoo!

Prince's "Is You A Dumbass Motherfucker" Quiz

bluebeard — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 03:57:42 GMT

1. Is there gold in the village?

2. Where are the Maluku/Moluccas/Spice Islands?

3. What is your astrological sign?

4. What is the capital of Latvia?

5. Are English and Icelandic related languages?

6. Camels are related to which popular South American animal(s)?

7. The common peacock or blue peacock is native to what country?

8. The biggest and most gorgeous island in the Caribbean is?

9. The historical capital of Japan was?

10. Are lions native to Africa exclusively?

11. What is the currency of South Korea?

12. Does the term "Australian languages" include English? (hint: this is a trick question)

13. What is the largest and most important river in North America?

14. The elements known as "alkali metals" are reactive to which common substance?

15. Maize and cocoa are native plants of which region of the world?

16. The full name of the author of Don Quixote is?

17. Is there a correlation between bio-diversity and linguistic diversity? If yes, name 2-3 regions of the world known to have languages within it as different from each other as Spanish and Japanese.

18. Which island off the coast of Hispaniola (Haiti + Dominican Republic) was a popular hideout for pirates and corsairs?

19. What kind of scientist was Marie Curie? What kind of scientist was her husband?

20. Where in the world can you find vampire bats?

If you can't answer most of these questions without Google or Wikipedia...

...you is a dumbass motherfucker in Prince's book.

Pencils ready, everynyan. Your exam begins... now. Go!

comments r screen'd to prevent le cheating (I don't trust non-Gryffindors not to cheat :3)

tomorrow after midnight they will be unscreened.

EDIT: since there's only 3 replies thus far I shall extend the deadline to tomorrow (Friday) noon, lololo. :> I'm not assuming everyone will fill out the damn thing, but I don't want to assume that they won't. :P

[t]ʀɔɭɭɪɳɢ ɪɳ ʈɧɛ ɖɛɛp

bluebeard — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 07:48:58 GMT

I have been inspired by the MLP episode, "A Canterlot Wedding" to write the wedding night of Shining Armour and Princess Cadence. This has in part been inspired by a certain friend we all know and love losing their v-card, but not giving the deets about it. I must warn you, this will read like one of G.R.R.M.'s terrible written sex scenes, so heads fucking up.

Also, this isn't rated PG, it's rated PJ (Pure Jackfuckery). So feast your eyes on the terribleness of it all as I write my very first smut fic ever. After you read your eyes will bleed and I will go down in history as the most plain, boring, and horrible smut writer of all time. In my defense, though, I've never written one. :D This is in a spoiler tag, but there aren't any spoilers in it. It takes place after the wedding in the episode.

Once upon a time... oh, fuck it.

Right after their wedding, Shining Armour and Princess Cadence got down to business.

"I can't wait to get into your pants!" he told her. Amused, she said, "Pants? I'm not wearing any!" They both laughed. Kissing ensued, French and otherwise. And then some more. And then some. Eventually they started to grope each other with their hooves (which were sparkly clean, since a famous pony named Mr. Clean had given them a magic eraser that erases all dirt... magically). "You know what? Let's go outside!" she suggested. "Mmm whatever you want baby". Their home was on the outskirts of Canterlot, fairly secluded, yet not too far from the city. They headed into some bushes behind their homes, running about à la Simba and Nala.

"I think this is what they call foreplay, Disney-style? Catch me if you can!" she yelled as she ran further and further away from their home and Canterlot, heading into a moonlit forest. He chased after her, using his unicorn magic to divinate her location; before he was captain of the royal pony army, he had studied Equestrian Divinology thoroughly, which is how he foresaw himself becoming captain... She was hiding behind an avocado tree. "Gotcha!" he said as he sneaked up behind her. "Eeek!" she snickered. "Did you know?" he began telling her. "The ancient Aztecs considered avocados to be fruits of fertility, since they're shaped like testicles". She smiled. "And you know, I'm thirsty for something of yours and it's not green...", he said as he began to go down on her.

By lucky happenstance, as if this were some ridiculous adult romance novel, they were on a forest clearing by a lake, the full moon shining brightly. She lay on the sweet grass, moaning as he licked her pussy, drinking in the sweet honeywine that flowed from it. In fact, it wasn't just flowing. It was overflowing. Like a fountain. A marvelous fountain of never ending sweet wine, which he drank till he had his fill, using his unicorn magic to prevent so much as a drop from falling to the ground instead of into his mouth. Minutes later, satisfied, he smiled at her and whispered into the ear, "Your turn now, Princess".

He spread his legs, revealing his horsedick. The pony princess bent to her task, sucking it and licking it and ramming her tongue around its edges. Occasionally, she'd lick his balls as if they were gelato, giggling like a schoolpony as she recalled from her Italian class that in that language, ice cream scoops are called "palle", meaning (literally) "balls". Not being able to help it, she stopped sucking his dick and started laughing uncontrollably. "ICE CREAM BALLS!" Taken by surprise, Shining Armour blurted "¿Qué?" She smiled. "Never you mind! Let me try this..." she said, as she reached for his cock. She then grabbed his dick and put it between her mare-tits.

And boy, did them titties start rubbing that stallion cock in all of the right ways. Sweet Lord Jesus in Heaven once got such a dick massage himself from Mary Magdalene - one night, after all that shaking and crying about love and forgiveness and dicksucking and sinning, they both went at it while the Twelve Apostles (yes, all twelve) watched and jacked off, which ended in Judas coming accidentally on Jesus' face. Of course, nobody ever wrote about *that* night. But Princess Cadence took that tittyfucking to the next level, rubbing his cock even faster, using her unicorn magic. She knew he was minutes away from coming, when all of a sudden she stopped. Can you say c-o-c-k-t-e-a-s-e? He collapsed on the ground for a moment, breathing heavily, but smiling. "Shall we get to the main dish?"

She opened her legs and braced herself for Shining Armour's hung cock which gave off a strange virginal glow, having never been in a pony-cave before. "Excalibur is ready for you, my love", he said, hard as a diamond. "It... has a name? Oh my..." said Princess Cadence as she giggled. Obviously, being a princess and all, she had never head of dicks having names. But Excalibur was just perfect: not too big and not too small, adorned with golden curly hairs, a gorgeous ruby-coloured head and the two most round amber-coloured stallion balls any pony eyes had ever seen... actually, nobody had ever seen balls like these, since it's not as if anyone had ever seen Shining Armour's balls before... except Twilight Sparkle (by accident, of course!)

Since she was a v-pony, never having had a horsedick up her fillypussy, he thoughtfully started rubbing his ding-ding-dong against her klit-klit-klot to get more of that sweet princessly pussysweet honeywine flowing. Slowly but surely the vralala became receptive to the ding-ding-dong and Shining Armour went in. "I'm going in, hmm..." he grunted. She moaned, talking in between breaths. "Oh là là dieu au ciel qu'est-ce que c'est? Ton dindin-don est chez moi, j'y peux pas! O merde.... SWEET FUCKING CELESTIA PUSSYFEASTING ON HER SISTER LUNA!!!!" she screamed as Excalibur reached the bottom of the Lady of the Lake's lake. "Does it hurt too much? We can switch positions..." She mmhm'd in agreement.

He laid himself down on the grass, dick sparkling in the moonlight like something out of a horribly cheese and badly written vamppony novel... what was it called now? "Twilight Sparkle and the Breaking Dawn", was it? Something like that; all the fillies were getting their fill of it these days, it was rather epidemic. "I like a mare on top", he said to the princess. "Well, then, darling, don't mind if I do..." she said coyly, and proceeded to zero in on his cock. Having clamped it, she began to ride it like a true pony princess. It was much more pleasurable this way. Riding and riding she went on, throughout the night, until finally he gave a particularly un-stallion grunt and screamed "I'M COMINGGG!!!" His silvery jizz burst into her sea-cave, filling it up. "Mmm hmm!" she said. "That was something, wasn't it?" Shining Armour smiled, nodding. Using her unicorn magic, she telekinesis'd the silvery cum out of her hole. "Sorry darling, no colts until we're 5 years married at least." He looked slightly disappointed.

Smiling deviously, she gazed into his eyes. "Are you up for round two?" He swallowed. "R-round two?" "Why, yes, of course. Like Ursula the Draconequus says to Ariel in The Little Merfilly, 'You can't get something for nothing, you know!'" Not knowing what exactly she had in mind, he asked her. "What do you mean?" Smiling so wide her face started to resemble Julia Roberts, Princess Cadence used her unicorn magic to summon a curious-looking golden jewelbox. She opened it up and pulled out a strap-on dildo, as black as the night sky, or maybe as black as Luna's pussyhole. Maybe even darker. "Whoa!" yelled Shining Armour. "You want to put that... in me...?!" "Darling, you will like it, I promise. There is nothing more divine than getting your prostate entertained by a female. Rest assured, I will be gentle. I will take your virgnity as you have taken mine." He began to protest, "But I..." She raised her voice. "SILENCE! On your back! Spread your legs. Wider. I SAID WIDER!" Too tired to fight her, he did as told. "Good boy. Now, I will restrict your movement with my unicorn magic", she continued. "If you try to so much as fight it, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you." He whimpered, agreeing.

Gently massaging his ass with some sparkly lube Fluttershy had given her as a wedding present, she started probing his arse with her dildo. "Mmm" he moaned. "See? You're already liking it", she said with delight. A few minutes later, she told him, "Okay babe, I think Black Lady is ready for you." "You gave it a name?" he asked. "Of course! Yours had a name, didn't it?" "Yeah, but mine's the real..." She raised her voice again. "SILENCE! How dare you suggest my dick isn't real! In the name of Nightmare Moon, I'll punish you!" "Waaait, no, I didn't mean..." he started. "Too late, Wiseman/Death Phantom, I'm going in!" And she did, she really did. Black Lady penetrated his virgin stallion arse, and he began making un-pony noises, half in pleasure, half in pain, as she thrusted in and out of his Negaverse, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. "HOLY CHIBI USA RIDING HELIOS' DICK, I'M COMINGGG!!!" she screamed as loudly as she could. Confused, Shining Armour was about to ask her what the hell that meant, when she pulled out her dildo and began to ejaculate on his back. "Holy shit, this dildo has cum?!" Groaning and moaning, she replied, "Yes... of course... unicorn magic... you know... duh"

Having successfully taken each other's virginity, Princess Cadence and Shining Armour both rested on the grass, gazing into each others eyes. Virginity-taking was such a tiresome affair...

Then out of fucking nowhere Pinkie Pie showed up for no fucking reason whatsoever, balloons and streamers appearing out of the wazoo, just like her. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE PINKIE?! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?!" they both exclaimed, startled. "WERE YOU WATCHING US FUCK THE WHOLE TIME?!?!" She ignored them and went on about her usual business, hopping around some trees in the typical Pinkie fashion, singing "Rolling in the Deep" by some non-pony artist called Adele. ♪ You're gonna wish you~♪ Never had met me~♪ Tears are gonna fall~♪ Trolling in the deep~♪ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ And she was gone as randomly and suddenly as she had appeared, her voice echoeing in the forest... ♪ you're gonna wish you~♪ never had met me~♪ tears are gonna fall~♪ trolling in the deep~♪

dedicated to: to all my friends, especially those who recently lost their virginity and/or discovered a fetish about their boyfriend and/or watched a woodpecker peck a man's wood-covered dick~ you know who you are, and I know what you did last night ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼

written by: A Dachshund called Strüdel, An Anti-Hero by the name of Deadpool, An Earth Pony named Pinkie Pie, and a Fairy-Troll formerly known as Prince. ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼

I feel sorry for the man that makes the mistake of falling in love with me or having sex with me. You're gonna wish you never had met me... tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep. :D

Dæmian Reloaded

bluebeard — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 05:33:20 GMT

Nicki Minaj's Roman Zolanski (a headmate of hers) reminds me of TDF and all its crazies running about. So here's to you, TDF, and all you fucking nutjobs running around with non-real persons/animals in your fucking head.

[Marthalaimon (Roman's daemon, a wild chickenduck {unsettling})]

Take your medication, Roman
Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay...

(Stop it, daemon, please!)

You need to get out of TDF, Roman
Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

(Get me out of here, daemon!)

Take a little break, little break
From your posting on TS

There is so much you can take, you can take
I know how bad you need a break from TDF, a break from TDF

[Roman Zolanski (TDFer, honey badger therian, EarthListener's lil' bro)]

You done, you tight? You suck at life?
You don't want a round three, you'll settle twice.

Worship the mods or you might get a ban
But let's be real, these bitches couldn't wipe my ass

Anyway, daemon, go get Bulgari
I am the ultimate Svengali

You, you bitches can't even spell that
You, you mods be buggin' - repel that!

Let me tell you this, sister
I am, I am colder than a blister

'Cause my dae's flow's so sick and I'm a lunatic therian
and this can't be cured with no elixir

'Cause y'all know who the fuck, what the fuck I do
I done put the pressure to every dae I knew

Quack quack I'll settle as a duck and a chicken too
Put that bitch hyena ~~Edie~~ in a freaking zoo!

[Marthalaimon (Roman's daemon, a wild chickenduck {unsettling})]

Take your medication, Roman
Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay...

(Stop it, daemon, please!)

You need to get out of TDF, Roman
Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

(Get me out of here, daemon!)

Take a little break, little break
From your posting on TS

There is so much you can take, you can take
I know how bad you need a break from TDF, a break from TDF

[Roman Zolanski (TDFer, honey badger therian, EarthListener's lil' bro)]

Witch, twitch, bitch!

Motherfucking right, this is my 6th HO post in a day
This right here might make my dae die

And this right here is gonna make my dae cry
And if you being honest, I am such a great guy

And this what I do when a daemon breaks flock
I'mma put her in a dungeon under, under

No, them daemons ain't eating
They dying of hunger

Motherfucker I need...
Who the fuck is this noob?

And yes maybe just a touch of CRAZY
Get my wigs, mods, go and get my beret

[Marthalaimon (Roman's daemon, a wild chickenduck {unsettling})]

Take your medication, Roman
Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay...

(Stop it, daemon, please!)

You need to get out of TDF, Roman
Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

(Get me out of here, daemon!)

Take a little break, little break
From your posting on TS

There is so much you can take, you can take
I know how bad you need a break from TDF, a break from TDF

[Roman Zolanski (TDFer, honey badger therian, EarthListener's lil' bro)]

Come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
I am Roman Zolanski

Come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
I am Roman Zolanski

Come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
I am Roman Zolanski

Postin' about me, you postin' about me?
I dare a TDFer to be talkin' on TS about me

Them bitches must be smokin' a couple of OC
They want the outline, I give them a goatee

God damn motherfucker you postin' about me?
I dare a TDFer to be talkin' on TS about me

Them bitches must be smokin' a couple of OC
Ha Ba Ba Ba Ga Gum the goatee

[Marthalaimon (Roman's daemon, a wild chickenduck {unsettling})]

Take your medication, Roman
Take a short vacation, Roman

You'll be okay...

(Stop it, daemon, please!)

You need to get out of TDF, Roman
Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

(Get me out of here, daemon!)

Take a little break, little break
From your posting on TS

There is so much you can take, you can take
I know how bad you need a break from TDF, a break from TDF

Prince Minaj's album Dæmian Reloaded hits stores May 4th. It includes musical collaborations with notorious TDF artists like Anna of Try-Amber, C a r r y. , EarthListener & Kraefly.

Pre-order your copy today!

^ how my daemon feels about TDF these days ^

Welcome to the Church of Bluebeard!

bluebeard — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:37:15 GMT

Gilles: Heed my words, Ryuunosuke. God does not punish humans! He merely toys with their lives! Once, I committed atrocities so numerous that I was like an embodiment of blasphemy in this world. But no matter how many I killed or maimed, my punishment never came! And when I finally paused, I realized my pursuit of the most heinous cruelties had gone uninterrupted for 8 years. In the end, it was not God who brought ruin unto me, but the selfishness of my fellow man! The Church and monarchy convicted and executed me, under the pretense of justice, so they could rob me of my wealth and my land! My rampage was halted not by divine judgement - far from it. It was simple thievery!

Ryuunosuke: But sir, God still exists.

Gilles: Why would you, a faithless man who knows nothing of miracles, say such a thing?

Ryuunosuke: Because, on the surface, this world looks bland and boring. But the more you look, the the more fun and surprising things you find! That's how I've always felt. This world, full of strange and wonderful things, could not have happened by chance. All you need to do is resolve to enjoy it, and this world is the finest entertainment! You can't have a story of 5 billion characters without an entertainer for an author. And if we're talking about this author, God is the only name that fits.

Gilles: Then tell me, Ryuunosuke, do you believe that God loves humans?

Ryuunosuke: From the bottom of my heart! This world is filled with God's love! If God spends his every moment writing the script of the world, it must be a labour of love. I bet he's having a blast! God is creating a work of art. He loves mankind's ideals, like Bravery and Hope. And, by the same token, he loves Despair, Bloodshed, and cries of Anguish. If he didn't, he wouldn't have made the insides of all creatures so vibrant. That's why I'm sure that this world is filled with God's love.

Gilles: In this era when mankind shuns faith, and states become secular, I have witnessed the birth of a beautiful, new creed! You have impressed me, Ryuunosuke. [bows] My Master!

Ryuunosuke: [blush] Aw, come on, you're making me blush.

Gilles: ...But according to your beliefs, my blasphemies were mere comedy, correct?

Ryuunosuke: No, a true entertainer embraces the villain's role, and leaves the audience smiling. I believe that God loves playing Wise Guy to your unrelenting Straight Man.

Gilles: [trembles with excitement] Therefore, Blasphemy and Praise are equal forms of worship?! RYUUNOSUKE! You are the Prophet for a New Philosophy! A God who holds all mankind by the marionettes' strings, yet is himself part of the act! I understand! His cruel designs finally become clear. [pause] Very well. Then let us create more Despair and Terror to dye his gardens in even brighter shades. We shall teach our Heavenly author that he is not the only one who knows how to entertain!

ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?!?

CONVERT NOW TO THE CHURCH OF BLUEBEARD. GOD LOVES YOU WHETHER YOU EDUCATE CHILDREN OR MURDER THEM. YOU'RE JUST A CHARACTER IN HIS BOOK. LIKE CERSEI AND BRAN AND DANY AND ROBB IN A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE BY G.R.R.M. YOUR DEATH ISN'T A PUNISHMENT, IT'S JUST GOD WRITING YOUR ENDING BECAUSE IT HAD TO COME ABOUT.

JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER STORY, WHERE EVEN IF THE ENDING IS "HAPPY", DEATH WILL STILL COME. DEATH CAME EVENTUALLY TO SNOW WHITE. AND TO VOLDEMORT. AND TO AVATAR AANG. YOUR DEATH, TOO, WILL COME, AND YOU WILL NOT BE PUNISHED IN THE AFTERLIFE, NOR WILL YOU BE REWARDED. YOU WILL SIMPLY CEASE TO EXIST, BUT YOU SHALL LIVE IN GOD'S INFINITE, DIVINE, OMNIPOTENT, OMNISCIENT MEMORY, AND IN THE MEMORY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS TO WHOM YOUR LIFE MADE A DIFFERENCE.

this is the most beautiful belief ever ;-; I shall create a FB group called Church of Bluebeard if there's not one already, maybe even a LJ comm. I was previously a member of the Church of Madoka, but now with 2012 upon us, it is truly the time to shed old beliefs and practices aside, and turn to new ones!

This makes me much less sad about Prophet Ryuunosuke's death. Now it is up to Caster/Gilles/Bluebeard to continue the good Prophet's work, despite the fact that, he, too, shall meet his maker soon. And as for me, if ever I change my LJ username again, it must honour Ryuunosuke's memory, or Caster's, or be somehow related. I've never been religious nor much of a faithful creature, but I feel as if Bluebeardism requires no faith at all:

God is a Fiction Writer, and you're a OC, so do whatever the fuck you feel like doing before he kills you off George R.R. Martin style. There is no Good or Evil, there's just what you do or don't do, and how others react accordingly. This is why, then, God has written so many OCs who are writers and filmmakers and artists themselves. God loves stories, and he dotes on storytellers and those who create stories. In this sense, the world is a full of stories within stories within stories. Earth is God's Book (the Bible, Qur'an, Torah = badly written fanfiction) and we the characters ourselves write books and stories and put them into films, which then in turns makes others write even MORE stories about THOSE stories! So then, writers are the true priests of this world, some of them are even Prophets, for they are blessed by God; their heads are filled with the creativity needed for stories and their hearts are fueled by passion which helps makes those stories come alive!

"If God is a writer, why do bad writers exist?"

HELLO, ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?? if you didn't have Stephanie Meyer and that stupid Dark Raven-Way bitch who wrote My Immortal running around, then you'd have no way of knowing the bad writers from the good ones! All the more amusing to God, when you prove to be a terrible writer, as the horribleness of your stories make him (or her) crack the hell up, though we cannot hear his laugh. But when you create a good story, something that is a Shining Beacon of Good Writing, God is even more pleased, for now you are truly doing the Good Lord's work. And perhaps you will be poor forever, but know that God's Divine Light shines upon you and your heavenly-crafted fiction or fanfiction.

Perhaps it is more accurate to say that Good and Evil do exist, but some of us have to be evil, of course, because then you'd never know good. If Prince and Mea weren't cunts, then how'd you know that Jessie and Vay are good? If Rhi (from TDF) wasn't jaw-droppingly fucking ugly and hideously vomitory to look at, then how would you know Leah is fucking drop-dead gorgeous? You wouldn't. BESIDES! We need ugly characters and beautiful characters! GOD DISLIKE YOUR MARY SUE AND GARY STU. Which is why he didn't bless Alexis (from Castle) with writing abilities. Nobody likes a fucking Mary Sue. Especially not God.

As for Jesus Christ - he was God's ultimate OC (but he, too, had to be written off).

God's existence as the Ultimate Writer explains all of the strange behaviour and paranormal occurences that Science cannot account for. Ofc Mary was a virgin - God wrote her OC thusly. Ofc there have been alien sightings - God has wrote the OCs to see aliens. Ofc there's serial killers - they're doing God's work. And naturally, people do all kinds of crazy shit in the name of God - for God has the Ultimate Sense of Humour, and nothing amuses him more than seeing your OC doing the weirdest fucking shit in His name.

All who, upon reading this post, do not join the Church of Bluebeard, are simply doing God's work and behaving according to their OC profile. The reason why the Church is thus named is simple: Bluebeard is a wicked fairy tale, and it is associated with Gilles de Rais (look him up), which is in turn associated with another story - the story of Fate/Zero, a 2011-2012 anime. It is not named after me, but after Caster (OC in Fate/Zero) and the loyal Prophet Ryuunosuke, who ultimately started this ideology. Bluebeardism is the name of this Philosophy/Religiosity, and a bluebeard is anyone who follows it.

Hence my username bluebeard. I am not the Bluebeard, but a bluebeard. It is no different from deriving "Christianity" and "Christian" from "Christ".

Join us! :3

edit:

BEHOLD! We have our first heresy.

Lauren: [in a nutshell] "The Church of Bluebeard's philosophy is pretty olde".

Why, yes, Lauren, since ancient times people have been openly advocating serial killing and rape as a form of God worship, all while advocating being Good, Brave, and Honorable at the same time as an equally valid and acceptable form of worship. Come back to us when your mind has been enlightened; the Church of Bluebeard will not accept such nonsense amidst our followers. Also, denying that Ryuunosuke is our Prophet and Caster is His Vessel or Tool is blasphemy, and will earn you a one-way ticket out of our following. Not that you were trying to join, but now the Church feels it is definitely not in its best interests to have you as a member, even if you did try to join in the future. :)

Lauren: God is a painter.

More blasphemy! God is a Writer, not a stupid painter. A fucking painter can't tell a story properly. Painting is rather useless for storytelling. It only tells a single story painted on the canvas, and it's not sure to reach a large audience - everyone will say the painting says something different, which would be good if each story wasn't half-assed and thought of on the spot ("Well, I think it's about..."). A painter =/= a writer. God is a Writer, not a painter, get it right. This isn't a second-year art class, here. This is God you speak of, and he's a Writer, not a painter. A picture does not say a thousand words; that's heretic talk. When the fuck has anyone ever heard Da Vinci's La Gioconda say a single thing? Not never, not in all its goddamn centuries. Meanwhile the Sanskrit epics Ramayana and Mahabharata speak volumes to us. Learn your place, painter wench. You have NOT been blessed with the Lord's light for storytelling, for you are a painter, not a writer. ಠ_ಠ Take your blasphemy elsewhere, ty.

why sexualizing Pokemon isn't wrong

bluebeard — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 01:58:36 GMT

Either Nintendo/GameFreak/Satoshi Tajiri thinks that everyone in the Pokemon fandom is a fucking 6 year-old, or they are definitely hinting at us sexualizing Pokemon.

In the latest episode, Bianca, your friendly clueless next-door bitch from BW, goes around touching Pokemon's muscles. No, no, read again: she goes around touching the muscles of Pokemon. Fighting types, that is. There is a tournament (Donamite) organized by Don George, and Fighting types (or Fighting-type-like, i.e. Simisage and Excadrill) are used in it.

Bianca fangirls (and touches... several times) at Stephan's Sawk and its muscles. But she doesn't stop there. She basically hand-rapes Trip's Conkeldurr. And there's a gay-looking trainer with a Throh; my guess is that trainer and his Throh are throh-ing at night 'cause he jealously prevented Bianca from touching his Throh's muscles. On top of that, Bianca has an Emboar - she probably touches her Emboar's muscles every chance she gets.

tl;dr - You mean to fucking tell me we're not supposed to sexualize that? Of course not, cherie, this is just Prince, he's a perverted pedotranssexual from sweet trasvestite Transsaffron City. Naturally.

You're not a believer yet? You will be a fucking believer by the end of this post.

(1) The Curious Case of Jynx: It's basically a ganguro with Psychic powers. It has huge-ass lips (all the more better to rape you with, my dear). And you're not supposed to visualize Jynx using her epic lips to suck the delightful juice out of your vagina/penis, oh no. That's wrong. It also looks like a drag queen. Oops. Did I mention it learns kiss-related moves? Ok.

(2) Machoke/Machamp... nope! Can't see how this could possibly be sexualized. I mean... what? No, no, no. NO! It doesn't at all look like a wrestler. And those muscles... nahhh, who'd sexualize this Pokemon?!

(3) Hypno... it took a fucking LITTLE GIRL into a DARK FOREST and it happened AT NIGHT. Are you fucking with me?! Are you fucking telling me this bitch doesn't have pedophile tendencies? BITCH IT IS FUCKING KNOWN OKAY. I mean, the Dex entry says it takes children sometimes and they're not seen again, so it can "eat its dreams". Yes, that's what Michael Jackson was doing with the kids at his house - eating their dreams. Offc. :)

(4) Ash's mom & Mr. Mime: So she basically has a Mr. Mime (Mimey) that does ALL HER FUCKING HOUSEWORK and I'm supposed to believe that at night Mr. Mime doesn't get mime-ing with her pussy? Bullfuckingshit, son. When the fuck was the last time you or anybody you know CLEANED SOMEONE'S FUCKING HOUSE AND DID THEIR HOUSE CHORES FOR FREE? Bullshit. There's either money (so Mimey can go mime a hooker) or there's late-night fucking while watching The Late Night Show or whatever the hell, lol. Offc.

(5) Muk & Prof. Oak... yes, children, it's just your run-of-the-mill Muk, known for its "friendliness". It is NOT at all the case that Muk wants to get a taste of Professor Oak's "sludge". Nope! It's just friendly. It's not trying to rape him or anything, oh no.

(6) Ash's Bayleef... IT RUBS AGAINST HIS FUCKING LEG ALL THE GODDAMN TIME FOR CHRISSAKES. IT WANTS DICK. HOW IS THIS NOT FUCKING OBVIOUS? JESUS.

(7) Giovanni's Persian... yes, the fucking leader of TEAM ROCKET keeps around the uselessness that is PERSIAN because it's pretty. It has nothing to do with Persian rubbing against his crotch, just the way Giovanni likes it. This is just me being a sick-minded fuck.

(8) Molly and Entei (3rd Pokemon movie): The bitch is practically begging for Entei dick. And we're supposed to believe it's innocent and she's just a little lost girl who wants protection from the Gentle Beast. That's what they said about Molly and Aslan in fucking Chronicles of Narnia, like I'm supposed to believe that the Witch DIDN'T want Edmund's cock and Aslan and Molly DIDN'T get it going on when nobody was watching. "It's all innocent!" BULLSHIT.

(9) FUCKING LATIAS IN THE ALTOMARE MOVIE. No, there was no incest there, Prince. You're just fucking sick. And no, not one guy (or lesbian bitch) watching the movie sexualized human Latias. And no, human Latias did not want dicking from Ash. Again, this is just Prince being a twisted individual. Nobody's mind went there... like, at all.

(1o) Mewtwo's trauma is not in any way related to being raped by Giovanni. Nope...

(11) The Psychic Humanoids Gardevoir and Gothitelle: one looks like a damsel in distress and the other is a gothic lolita. BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEXUALIZE THEM! You're just supposed to see a Pokemon just like any other, period. I mean, seriously, how can you possibly sexualize Gothitelle or Gardevoir. Dude, that's just wrong. You're sick, dude...

(12) Lucario and the mystery of Mew: Lucario is not in any way in a mentor-student relationship with Sir Aaron. Noooo, sireee, that would just be disgusting, wrong, perverted, and... oh wait all the clues are there. The fucking clues are bloody fucking everywhere. Never you fucking mind - they're definitely fucking. :) They just don't show that.

(13) Lopunny: OMG NO. Why would you sexualize Lopunny? o_o You'd have to be sick or something! It's just a qt lil' bunny. HOW CAN YOU SEXUALIZE BUNNIES?! Let me think... ummm, Playboy? Ok, no? Alright, let's see... Alice from the videogame Bloody Roar? No? Okay. How about slutty bunny girls during Halloween? No? IT'S JUST A COSTUME. oic...

(14) Questionable Shit That Fuckers In The Games say:

"I like feisty kids like you!" - Sailor in fucking St. Anne (Pokemon FRLG)

plus all the other ~*~suggestive~*~ shit that other trainers tell you, like this Swimmer bitch who wants to suck my dick in one of the games (I need to write down what exactly) and this Birdman guy in HG (around Mt. Silver) that basically treats me like I'm his fuckbuddy (not just his battle buddy).

(15) Shiftry kidnapping Nurse Joy in some ADV gen episode. "THAT WAS BECAUSE IT WANTED TO HEAL A SICK POKEMON IN THE FOREST, PRINCE. OMG UR SO PERVERTED". Oh, yes, ofc that's what it was! Silly me! It's not like Shiftry are based on tengu from Japanese mythology, which are, essentially, demonic rapists. :) And Shiftry's looks + sweet innocent Nurse Joy + deep dark forest = your mind is not supposed to think "rape". Nope!

Bitch, I fucking tell you, the clues are everyfuckingwhere if you care to look for them.

Don't fucking tell me Pokemon is innocent shit because it's fucking not. It's really fucking not. Drifloon's entry in the JP Pokedex says it tries to get kids to grab onto them so it can drag them to Hell. Yes, you read right motherfucker. Hell. Chandelure's entry in fucking JP Pokedex says it sucks human souls, leaving the empty body "shell" behind. Don't fuck with me, trynna telling me that Pokemon is kids-appropriate. Bullshit. Also, think but this: Humans with pets equate themselves to parents with kids. That's qt and all, but let me posit this: Pokemon have next-level sentience and sapience. You mean to fucking tell me that if this shit was real people's minds wouldn't go there?

Sure, maybe if you're Lauren, Cat, Vay or Saffi and you have the sexual mindset of a 5 year old ("what is dick?") your mind won't go there (lol jk, jk). But the rest of us who have taken a bite out of the apple in fucking Eden would. There would be rapists with Hypnos running around trynna rape you using Hypnosis. There would be fucking between plenty of male trainers and their goddamn Gardevoirs. And don't fucking doubt that fetishists wouldn't use their fucking Cofagrigus to basically mummify victims while they go about their "business". Humans already have unusually emotional relationships with animals. It only takes a creature with the IQ and EQ of an Alakazam and next thing you know you just found a whole new use for your Alakazam's spoons.

And don't you fucking doubt for one second that I WOULDN'T use my Drifblim's Psychic to fucking levitate me to your window so I can fucking voyeur the shit outta you while you naked or fucking in your room, because I totes would. More importantly, I have a beloved Emboar who'd definitely get horny as fuck every goddamn spring. Yes, I would totally use my Drifblim's Psychic to restrain the movements of whatever it is my Emboar wanted to fuck, while I fapped to him nailing some fucking Sawsbuck, Lopunny, etc. 'cause that shit is fucking hot. I would also probably have a Cofagrigus in my arsenal because of reasons. Mostly because it reminds me of Caster from Fate/Zero, lol.

But no, only perverted pedoprinces like moi sexualize Pokemon and/or things in it and/or people in it.

...Seriously though, Nintendo actually expects me to not think "what the fuck" @ seeing Bianca in the anime go all "OMG I LOVE FEELING FIGHTING POKEMON'S MUSCLES". Yes bitch ofc you do, and it's not like what's between the legs of these *male* Fighting types isn't a muscle. I bet you love feeling that too. But she's just a qt naive sweet clueless girl from some small town; we're not supposed to think anything sexual from what she does or says. It's totally innocent. Because girls raised in the country don't fuck like rabbits when they get around Bianca's age, nope. I mean, I wouldn't know. It's not like I ever lived in a small town or went to a small town high school and saw how shit ran there. Nooope!

pon de replay

bluebeard — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 01:23:41 GMT

View Poll: R&D Report

lol @ lauren thinkin' she like rarity.

lmao @ rachel thinkin' she like rainbow dash.

o
i
c

yes @ bella voting rarity + twilight sparkle. 100% accurate imo.

except she likes partying a bit much, non? almost pinkie pie-ish. :>

anyways, not sure if I should vote rarity + pinkie pie or rarity + twilight sparkle. i have trouble relating to pinkie's excessive love of parties (i hate parties and avoid them like the plague) but i also don't relate to twilight's OCD-like behaviour about logic and organization.

:>

Queen Yuki K. is flawfree and you will deal

bluebeard — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:18:06 GMT

trailer for Sword Art Online, an animu for which Queen Yuki will compose the music

trailer for season 2 of Fate/Zero, featuring the song "To the Beginning" by Kalafina.

In case you live under a rock:

- Kalafina's "To the Beginning" single hits stores in Japan and worldwide on April 18
- Queen Yuki's Fate/Zero Vol. 1 Soundtrack has been out since March
- Vol 2. of the Fate/Zero series will come out later this summer

If you're not a fan of Yuki Kajiura's music, I am very confused as to why you exist tbh.

o ye fwegō... e dissho fwegō

bluebeard — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 09:18:10 GMT

View Poll: FIRE IN THE HOLE

I was on 'shrooms when I made this poll because Appa ate Momo (ノ￣ー￣)ノ

also, I'm trying to decide which third Fire type to have on my team lol so maybe the results will help.

so far it seems I'll end up with Rapidash or Arcanine, but only 'cause Magcargo and Torkoal suxxx ballz.

reasons I'm a hipster and you not

bluebeard — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 06:55:54 GMT

* I would consider changing my legal name to Rarity Prince. Also, I liked Rarity before you did.

* Espeon was never my favourite Pokemon; Roserade always was.

* I've never played RBY or GSC. My first Pkmn games were RS and my very first starter was actually Treecko but then I decided Torchic looked more underground so I restarted the game a few minutes later.

* I've raise more Roserade in my life than you've raised Grass types.

* I like Grass type Pokemon, unlike you.

* I have Sun in Leo and Moon in Scorpio. Out of the 200 or so celebrity whose birth charts I've looked at, there's only like one that has this combination, and it's not the same because it's reversed. I don't even remember his name. Incidentally, there is a celebrity astrologer in France (you've probably never heard of him) who shares my LeoSun/ScorpioMoon combo.

* I liked Cloyster before it Gen IV & V made it awesome.

* I liked Gastrodon before Storm Drain was an awesome ability.

* I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's ever used Magcargo / Sunflora.

* I once defeated Cynthia's Garchomp with my Cherrim.

* I once defeated a hipster's Groudon with my Meganium using HP Grass.

* My fave Eeveelution used to be Espeon but now it's Leafeon.

* My favourite singer is Lee Jung Hyun. You've probably never heard of her.

* My favourite Avengers are actually Black Widow and Hawkeye.

* My daemon is a wood grouse, unlike your daemon which is a wolf / dog / cat / mongoose / mammal / bird that isn't a grouse. My daemon's first form was a green peacock, unlike your daemon's first form which was a wolf.

* My favourite movie is Memoirs of a Geisha. You've probably never heard of it. Yes, I read the book before I watched the movie. I didn't plan it, either.

* My favourite HP char? Fleur Delacour. Problem?

* I read Jane Eyre before you did (at about age 8). In Spanish.

* My favourite poet? Jacques Prévert. You've probably never heard of him.

* My favourite adventure writer? Emilio Salgari. He's Italian; you're probably never heard of him. He's really famous... in Italy and Spanish-speaking countries. Have you read Spanish and/or Italian literature?

* I have never had a boyfriend, unlike most of you.

* I don't think a six-pack is the most attractive thing a man could possibly have on his body... unlike 99% of my fellow gay men.

* I actually like body hair and uncircumcised penises. Problem?

* I know things about you that you don't know about you, thanks to my ten (and counting) astrology books (including one called Sextrology which lets me in on what kind of fetishes you have) and your birth charts.

* I'm actually into astrology. Yoga, philosophy, tai chi, veganism, religion, science, etc. = too mainstream.

* All of my friends are really abnormal people: one is a communist, one actually likes Bill from Pokemon (who does that), one is an autistic genius, one has the most bizarro sleeping pattern ever and is a cat demon inside a human body, and one is a ginger who actually likes fictional gingers (Ron Weasley and Sansa Stark). I know, right? So fetch!

* You've probably never heard of any of my friends. If you have I'm pretty sure they're not who you think they are. Like, one of them thinks she's Dany Targaryen, but she's actually like Rhaegar Targaryen. I mean, really, I wouldn't befriend someone who was kinda like Dany (too mainstream).

* I can read in Finnish and Turkish even though I don't speak those.

* The song I'm listening right now is called "Tielle heitetty" by Värttinä. You probably can't pronounce that. You probably have never heard of them.

P.S. None of these are lies. Lies are too mainstream. You should try being honest for a change, even if you're not a hipster; it might do you good.

All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012

bluebeard — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:11:18 GMT

Originally posted by draion at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012

Originally posted by boo at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012

me: MEEP... what happens if im on uni internet?

Originally posted by awry at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012

All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012

Seriously. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WORLD.

"File-sharers, beware: By July 12, major US Internet service providers (ISPs) will voluntarily begin serving as copyright police for the entertainment industry, according to Cary Sherman, chief executive of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). The so-called “six-strikes” plan is said to be one of the most effective anti-piracy efforts ever established in the US."

The article goes on to give details. After six notices, internet providers will decide to throttle a person's internet speed, or cut it off altogether. I don't know if they will crack down on torrents only, or if it is up to the internet provider. I get the sense it is up to the internet provider. So some people could get away with downloading non torrents, while others might get their internet service cut off. I urge you to click it and read, as we all know people who download.

No more downloading eps of your favorite shows for vidding, gifs, or fanfiction art. No more downloading screencaps possibly. I'm so sorry my friends. I don't even know if BT Guard will work to protect you, but I would google it if I were you. It is a professional service that supposedly can protect you from the invasive eyes of your internet provider.

Just, my friends, please make each other aware. Please be aware of the date JULY 12TH. Mark your calendar and double check with your internet provider by then. If you start receiving notices of downloaded activity, this is why. And your internet service could be throttled or cut off.

Fox News confirms this:
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/03/17/us-isps-become-copyright-cops-starting-july-12/

Youtube video explaining this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5OG0R-yS-c

ETA: Petition for RIAA and the Obama Administration: Stop ISPs from launching a massive copyright spying scheme this July 12th

Here's the video, so you can just play it with a click.

</param>

Jesus...

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 8

bluebeard — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 16:06:43 GMT

Okay! Here's the final post on Grass Pokémon. Next is gonna be Roserade, and after that it'll be Water, Fire and Dragon. Most likely I will do Dragon next since they're few and far in-between, lol. I will explain why the sudden Dragon interest in the Roserade entry.

SCEPTILE

Sceptile has always been a love-hate Pokemon for me. I love its design: its sexy, it's reptilian, it's sexy, it's got the 'cool dude' look going for it, it's sexy, and Grovyle looks awesome. Oh yeah did I mention Sceptile is sexy? Right. Unfortunately, it also has things going on for it that don't quite jive with me: speed is, 9 times out of 10, the one stat that I don't care for. I'd rather have bulk and a myriad of status moves than speed and various offensive attacks. I mean, good for Sceptile, breaking the mold and appealing to non-Grass users, and Arceus knows that with those defenses he needs the 120 speed.
But that combined with its monotyping will always put a hamper in our synergy; I'm not used to the "sweeper types". You know how I've always loved Venusaur? Yeah, I'm not using Venusaur this gen. It's great that it can sweep now, but I like the bulky one better. XD As for right now, Torterra is my favourite Grass starter, since Meganium remains as "not useless, but not all that useful" as ever. I pray the next Grass starter will be more like Venusaur or Torterra, including, yes, a dual typing. But if it's like Sceptile at least give it a second typing such as Fighting; Arceus knows it does wonders for Breloom and Virizion. Monotypes generally draw the short end of the stick, but Grass monotypes draw a particularly short one, always.

ability:
Overgrow, unless you want to use an elemental gem + Unburden

item:
big root (for SubSeeding); life orb for everything else

nature:
modest (or timid, if you're a speed junkie)

moves:
Substitute, Leech Seed, Hidden Power/Dragon Pulse, Giga Drain

Since Gen III, Sceptile has been doing the SubSeeding thing, and guess what? It works, and he's damn good at it. The reason being that his low HP actually works in his favour. People who don't use Leech Seed don't realize it, but the less HP you have in relation to your foe, the more you heal via Leech Seed. Sceptile against something like Hariyama basically has a hayday when behind a Sub, since the difference in HP is immense. There's something else as well: the faster you are, the better you are at SubSeeding. Which is why Sceptile is so fucking good at this. Breloom is too, but only because it's got Spore + Poison Heal to back him up, unlike Sceptile. You can always run a set consisting of four attacks and a life orb or a choice specs or some such, but I don't reckon it's worth it. Or maybe I just like SubSeeding a lot.

SHAYMIN

I don't think most people use Shaymin these days, but unlike Skymin this little guy is not über. He's good, but not that good. He's more like a mini-Celebi, actually. Which would be why he sees little use: why use Shaymin when you can use Celebi? They even have the same abilities. And Celebi's movepool distorts the space-time continuum, whereas Shaymin's movepool is more like Meganium's, save for Seed Flare and Earth Power. Use this thing if you like, but you're probably better off with Celebi, who's equally legendary and has a second typing (for better or for worse).

ability:
Natural Cure

item:
leftovers

nature:
bold or calm

moves:
Aromatherapy, Earth Power, Seed Flare, Rest

Nothing much needs to be said, I hope. Use Shaymin to heal your team, then put a dent on stuff with your two attacks whenever possible. And when it's taken too much damage, Rest and switch. It's pretty basic, but effective.

SIMISAGE

Two things about Simisage make it cool: the first is Pansage, who is adorable, and the second is its 98 / 98 / 101 offenses. Are there better choices out there? Of course there are. But the point is that if you like this guy and want to use him, you can. With those offenses, Simisage is arguably a mini-Sceptile, and therefore better than Meganium and Serperior, which is embarrassing, considering they're supposed to be the Grass starters, not Simisage. That, and seriously, you know Nintendu is on crack when a fucking weed monkey is better than a longneck dinosaur with a badass geranium on its neck, and a giant grass serpent with a fabulous design. But the numbers don't lie: offensively, Simisage's got more going on than either of those, although Meganium is still excellent at tanking in UU.

ability:
Gluttony and Overgrow.
If you use Gluttony, your item of choice must be a berry, otherwise use Overgrow.

item:
any kind of berry that will be helpful to Simisage (if it runs Gluttony);
otherwise use a choice band / scarf / specs.

nature:
anything that is +attack, +sp. attack OR +speed and lowers either defense or offense you don't need; it basically depends on which choice item you use: for example, if you use a choice scarf, run an offensive nature; if you use a choice band or specs, then run a speedy nature

moves:
Hone Claws/Nasty Plot, move 2, move 3, move 4

What do you need it to do? It can't do everything, but it can do a few things. If you already have something that can use similar physical moves to Simisage's (Seed Bomb, Low Kick, Crunch, Shadow Claw, Acrobatics, Rock Slide, Low Sweep, Brick Break) then turn to its special moves instead (Energy Ball, Leaf Storm, Focus Blast, Grass Knot, Hidden Power), or you can always mix it up (have a nature that lowers either defense, since it's not like it 75 / 63 / 63 defenses are good anyway). Long story short: not the best, but far from being a pest (unlike most monkeys).

SKYMIN

I remember being excited about this guy back in Gen IV. I knew it'd be good; I didn't realize it'd be über. Yes, that's right, you heard me: it's über. I could expect that from Arceus, since he's not a "true" Grass type. But I never thought I'd see the day where a fucking Grass type (not just a Grass type but a Grass/Flying type) would be über. Skymin was thus ruine for me: unlike Togekiss, it's not "haxxx" but good without being too good. No sir, Skymin is downright haxxx, way too much so. For me there's no point in using this guy. If my love of the Grass type didn't give it away, I don't like easy Pokémon. Think of me as Jiraiya 2.0: Who wants to train a genius? Not me. If I were a coach I'd focus on the kids who work hard and try hard, not on the ones that have had everything handed to them via their natural abilities.

ability:
Serene Grace

item:
leftovers

nature:
modest or timid

moves:
Substitute, Leech Seed, Seed Flare, Air Slash

"That's it? What's so über about Skymin?" Hmmm, well, I don't know, you tell me. It has 103 / 120 / 127 offenses, plus Serene Grace, plus SubSeeding plus FlareSlash. Thanks to Serene Grace, Skymin will make your Pokemon flinch 60% of the time you battle it (all this while hiding behind a Sub and leeching off your health, assuming it's set up), and/or lower its special defense 80% of the time via Seed Flare. You can see how that gets pointlessly annoying, right? Skymin was designed to be this good; I've no interest on something that's had all it could possibly need to succeed handed to it on a silver platter since day one. There's zero point in training a Skymin.

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 7

bluebeard — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:32:48 GMT

Today we have 3 very special Grass types, two of which have one of the best designs in the Grass Pokéverse as far as I'm concerned, but all 3 of them are held back by a number of reasons, namely stats. Out of all these, the first is the only one that as far as I'm concerned warrants any usage at all. Which is probably why Quinn and Pocky use it and/or like it, lol (I know I do).

~ * ~ S · A · W · S · F · U · C · K ~ * ~

Unlike Mr. and Mrs. Useless below, ~~Sawsfuck~~ Sawsbuck is actually great. Not fucking epic, but great. If you don't understand why I love dual types, look at Sawsbuck's movepool. For a Grass type, that is fucking huge. Even Serperior wishes it had half the moves Sawsbuck does, esp. Baton Pass. Sawsbuck also has the cool beans factor: its appearance changes with the seasons. So unlike Cherrim, Sawsbuck changes appearance, but it doesn't suck. It has okay defenses, and its typing, while cool, is bad in several ways (mostly the Fighting/Fire/Ice weak) but it also means Sawsbuck has two unique immunities: Ghost and Grass. Come on, you gotta admit that's cool. But there's more! Sawsbuck can Baton Pass. If you need something in your team to get a boost without doing it themselves, Sawsbuck's your man... deer. Simply slap Agility or Swords Dance plus Baton Pass and you're good. Moreover, this is significant because Sawsbuck himself won't mind one bit being twice as fast or twice as offensive. More attack/speed means faster and/or harder Horn Leeching. Yes, there's even more. Sawsbuck's signature move is epic cool, because it's a physical version of Giga Drain. And to round it all up, Sawsbuck has a way to hit Steel-types: Jump Kick all up in these hoes. Opponent sends out Ferrothorn? No problem, bro. You're immune to Power Whip because of your fantastic Sap Sipper ability, and in the meantime you get to Jump Kick the Ferroslut in the nuts. This guy is a keeper. If you can cover his weaknesses with the rest of your team (i.e. have a Water type that stops Fire, Ice and Fighting types in their tracks... Jellicent comes to mind) then you're all set to go, bby gale. :]

ability:
Sappy Sippery. or Slippery Sip. or Slippery Dikdik. The only time you should run Chlorophyll on Sawsbuck is if you've got Drought Ninetales in your team to take care of the nasty Fire and Ice types that will come his way (and possibly Fighting types if it packs Will-o'-Wisp). But IMO, Sap Sipper is the way to go. It gets Serene Grace via DW, but has no moves for it.

item:
a pot of maple syrup (no, seriously)

nature:
adamant or jolly

moves:
Horn Leech, move 2, move 3, move 4

"PRINCE Y U NO GIVE ME MOVES!!!" ...Chill out, slut. Sawsbuck is versatile enough to run wtfever you need it to run. Obviously you need Horn Leech at all times. But other than that, you can run whatever you like best. Here's a list of moves that should be run on Sawsbuck (if it's not here, don't bother): Agility, Baton Pass, Double Edge (or Return), Jump Kick, Megahorn, Swords Dance, Thunder Wave, Wild Charge. Obviously you should use your head and put together shit that makes sense. For example, don't try to overdo it and have both Agility (or Thunder Wave) and Swords Dance. Sawsbuck only has time for one or the other not both. And if you run choice band or choice scarf, the obvious moves du choix are four attacks. Finally, Sawsbuck gets Aromatherapy, but what with 80 / 70 / 70 defenses and the fact that Sawsbuck is vulnerable to all forms of status, don't waste your time. If you need to use Aromatherapy or Heal Bell, get a Blissey, Meganium, Miltank, Umbreon or Vileplume, all of which have the bulk to pull it off.

SERPERIOR

Nintendu outdid themselves with this one: easily the best final-evolution design of all the Grass starters. But, naturally, you can't use it. Or, well, you could. But you shouldn't. It has the worst stats of all and any Grass type starter ever, even worse than the Grass-starter wannabes, Pansage and Simisage. What's what you say? "It's not that bad"? Actually, it is. It has epic speed, but doesn't have the offenses to abuse it (or even use it). And it has good defenses, but it doesn't have the HP to back them up. So... it's not offensive enough for a sweeper, and it's not defensive enough for a tank... And this naturally might make you think "SubSeeding ftw!" Except there are three problems with that: Sceptile, Whimsicott, Skymin. All 3 are faster than Serperior, and pack much more of a punch (Sceptile, Skymin) or else have the same offense (Whimsicott). In UU, people use Sceptile. In OU people use Whimsicott. And in Uber, people use Skymin. So you're basically left with a very large, very beautiful, very fabulous serpent that is also extremely, extremely useless. As useless as Flareon (yes I know I use Flareon, lol). You know there's something wrong with this world when a Grass starter is actually worse than Meganium. And I mean, Meganium isn't even bad. At least it actually has the defenses to defend. Serperior... not so much.

ability:
Contrarian. If it's not Contrarian don't bother.

item:
leftovers / light clay

nature:
modest

moves:
Substitute/Reflect, Leech Seed/Light Screen, Hidden Power, Leaf Storm

Either run Reflect + Light Screen or SubSeed. The former ups your defenses and is useful for your team, giving Serperior a role to play. The latter lets you hide behind a Sub while recovering health. Either way the idea is that you have some kind of bulk or healing backing you up while you Leaf Storm all up in these bitches and up your special attack nonstop. Hidden Power should be Fire or Ice or Ground, otherwise don't bother. If you don't have access to Hidden Power and/or Contrarian, don't use Serperior, period.

SUNFLORA

...Is it just me or is that Sunflora sprite moving unusually fast...? O_o Sunflora has 30 speed, which even for a Grass type is absolutely horrid. Ferrothorn doesn't mind because he's got a great typing, great ability and epic defensive stats. Sunflora however is defensively and offensively a pure-Grass Roserade, except the latter has 90 speed. You can see why Roserade is used and Sunflora... isn't. Still, some people use Sunflora... and by some people I mean me, lol. I don't know anybody who has ever so much as looked at lil' Sunkern and thought "Wanna be in my team?" Sunflora would be better if its attack and speed got switched, but even then it wouldn't be great. What it truly needs is an evolution, which it almost certainly will never get, and so I will be forced to ignore what could be one my favourite Grass types (because I love sunflowers, certainly more so than roses) if only because half the time I forget it exists. No, seriously. I have to remind myself of it.

Bulbapedia:
Sunflora’s diverse movepool makes it a versatile species.

Sunflora’s diverse movepool makes it a versatile species.

Sunflora’s diverse movepool makes it a versatile species.

ability:
Not Chlorophyll (it's useless).
So... Solar Power or Early Bird, for all the good they do. XD

item:
big root

nature:
modest (always)

moves:
Substitute, Leech Seed, Giga Drain, Morning Sun

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE SUNFLORA DANCE! Prince and the trio of the Sun-Flora-Flora will now dance to a Finnish folk song to call forth spring!

Artist: Värttinä
Song: Vihma ("broom")
Performers: Prune & the Sun-Flora-Flora Trio

lase suojahan väkeni lämpimähän rahvahani
lase suojahan väkeni lämpimähän rahvahani

suojahan väkeni ja väkeni joono
suojahan väkeni ja väkeni joono

upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta
upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta

maita tallomasta tallomasta joono
maita tallomasta tallomasta joono

upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta
upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta

maita tallomasta tallomasta joono
maita tallomasta tallomasta joono

vihma silmäni virutti lumi kulmani kulutti
vihma silmäni virutti lumi kulmani kulutti

kulmani kulutti ja kulutti joono
kulmani kulutti ja kulutti joono

vihma silmäni virutti lumi kulmani kulutti
vihma silmäni virutti lumi kulmani kulutti

kulmani kulutti ja kulutti joono
kulmani kulutti ja kulutti joono

santa saappahaisilleni utu ummiskengilleni
santa saappahaisilleni utu ummiskengilleni

ummiskengilleni kengilleni joono
ummiskengilleni kengilleni joono

satoi neljä neitokaista valoi vihmasta raetta
satoi neljä neitokaista valoi vihmasta raetta

neljä neitokaista neitokaista joono
neljä neitokaista neitokaista joono

anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni
anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni

tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono
tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono

satoi neljä neitokaista valoi vihmasta raetta
satoi neljä neitokaista valoi vihmasta raetta

neljä neitokaista neitokaista joono
neljä neitokaista neitokaista joono

anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni
anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni

tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono
tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono

anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni
anna tupa tullakseni ovensuuta ollakseni

tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono
tupa tullakseni tullakseni joono

upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta
upa-maita ulkkumasta taromaita tallomasta

maita tallomasta tallomasta joono
maita tallomasta tallomasta joono

It's fucking cold as fuck outside so I had to do this. :D

...If you can't sing in Finnish listen to this until you can.

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 6

bluebeard — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:42:21 GMT

I'm bored and I've got extra time (since I lolskipped French History since they're just doing presentations e_e) so here's the next Grass challenge, this time with the V-trio plus 1.

VIRIZION

I don't know why but I don't care for this thing. *shrug* Faivuu likes it, lol. And so do other people. I'm not one of them. I like everything about it except the design, hmm. I've got nothing else to say about it; I don't care for it

ability:
Justified

item:
life orb

nature:
adamantium

moves:
Swords Dance, Leaf Blade, Close Combat, Stone Edge
OR
Calm Mind, Hidden Power, Giga Drain, Focus Blast

Use your great speed to set up once or twice, then sweep away. It's pretty basic, really. Since it has good defenses (well, 72 isn't epic, but it does have 90 HP so it's good enough) you don't need to worry much, just do your thing.

VILEPLUME

ability:
Effect Spore

item:
leftovers / black sludge

nature:
bold, calm or modest

moves:
1, 2, 3, 4

I adore Vileplume. <3 This thing is just awesome. So much better than Bellossom. Its stats aren't epic, but they're good enough. It's slow, but it's got decent defenses and a solid 100 sp. atk. If I didn't like Roserade better, I'd have Vileplume in my team all of my times. Fighting resistance for the win, and now that it can has Effect Spore? Winning. It doesn't mean Vileplume will suddenly become OU, but he's cool in UU and has always been.

Okay, let's get to business: Fuck Chlorophyll. This is Vileplume, not Venusaur or Victreebel. Don't run Chlorophyll on it; Effect Spore is better. Not infinitely better, but better all the same. It ges no competition from Breloom because Breloom uses Poison Heal (or Technician) and it's not defensive. And Amoonguss is defensive, but it has Regeneration, so there is zero reason to have Effect Spore on it. And Parasect never runs Effect Spore these days since Dry Skin is an awesome ability which grants him a Water immunity plus healing in the rain (also makes him weaker to Fire, but Parasect can't survive any kind of Fire attack anyway, regardless of what ability it has). So use Effect Spore on Vileplume or gtfo.

Secondly... Vileplume has all the typical Grass moves you'd expect, so just pick your poison. No, seriously. You can run Stun Spore + Teeter Dance (parafusion ftw!) plus two attacks or one attack and Moonlight/Synthesis. You can also run Toxic + Venoshock and then whatever else you want (perhaps Protect, for stalling?), since Vileplume is one of the few poisons that can do this effectively and doesn't truly have "better things to do" like Tentacruel or Roserade do. Finally, it can also use Charm, Sleep Powder and Aromatherapy, all of which are handy in their own way. In terms of STAB, you'll want to almost always have Giga Drain for its Grass move, and/or Sludge Bomb for its Poison move, unless you're running Toxic and Venoshock. Its other options just aren't appealing for a pseudo-bulky guy like him. If you like spreading status like the plague (I know I do), use this guy. :]

VICTREEBEL

Victreebel is a cool guy. Now that Venusaur is running rampant in OU, Victreebel is what you want to use in UU if you like sweeping in sunlight. Unlike Exeggutor, Victreebel does not have 1,111,111 weaknesses. Unlike Exeggutor, Victreebel has 100 and 105 in both offenses and is not afraid to use both. Unlike Exeggutor, Victreebel is actually really fast during Sunny Day. And unlike Exeggutor, Victreebel gets Weather Ball amongst other goodies. I don't like sunlight-sweeping, but if I did I'd use Victreebel. :3

ability:
Chlorophyll

item:
life orb or something

nature:
timid, jolly, hasty or naive

moves:
Growth, Leaf Blade, Weather Ball, Sludge Bomb

Since Growth is now epic in sunlight, Victreebel can double both its offenses as soon as it uses the move, which is amazing. Instead of Leaf Blade, you can have Power Whip, but you'll lose Weather Ball, since both are egg moves. Weather Ball is learned via breeding with Roserade, and Roserade cannot learn Power Whip, therefore Victreebel cannot Power Whip + Weather Ball. If you love the shit out of Power Whip, do as Smogon suggests and run Hidden Power Fire, even though it's vastly inferior to Weather Ball. Like with Venusuar, the last slot can be used for Sleep Powder if you don't care for Sludge Bomb. The reason is obvious: only Grass is weak to Poison, and Grass types will die to Weather Ball as soon as you've used Growth. :]

VENUSAUR

The minute Venusaur got Chlorophyll it became epic. So long as the sun shines, Venusaur is a monster toad. Unfortunately, I actually hate the ability Chlorophyll. Almost as much as I hate depending on the weather in order to do anything. If it's not an auto-weather inducer, I'm not interested. And I don't care for Ninetales at all. So the minute Venusaur got Chlorophyll it basically lost me as a trainer. I do love it, but there's no point in tanky Overgrow Venusaur now that sweeper Chlorophyll Venusaur exists. Especially not since Tangrowth got Regenerator; he has better defenses and better offenses than Venusaur. So use Venusaur with Ninetales, period.

ability:
Chlorophyll

item:
black sludge

nature:
modest

moves:
Growth, Energy Ball/Solarbeam, Hidden Power, Sludge Bomb

By "Hidden Power" I obviously mean "Hidden Power Fire", since you'll be in the sun and its power will increase. You can have Solarbeam, but you'll be screwed if the Sunlight is gone, so Energy Ball is more reliable (but way less powerful). If you want something in-between, go with Grass Knot. No, you cannot have Giga Drain because it's not legal with Chlorophyll. I guess you could try Petal Dance, since it's basically the special Grass version of Outrage. If you don't see much use for Sludge Bomb, run Sleep Powder.

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 5

bluebeard — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:56:14 GMT

lol I told Dennis there'd be no more grass chall. until I got inspired and did Roserade.

Well, turns out I lied. :3

Due to a series of fortunate events, I found the time to do this today, and I've decided to leave Roserade for last because it's the best Grass type there is. So now that I've reached R, I will go in reverse order and go from W and backwards until I reach R and then I'll get to Roserade. After which I will compile all the entries into one (or like, list them or something, idk?? we'll see) and start a Water Pokemon Challenge since I am also a Water-type trainer, and don't your forget it. I'm like Misty's gay cousin. Or Wallace's little brother. Or Juan's protegee. Or Crasher Wake's boyfriend, lol.

WORMADAM

The only person doofus enough to use not one Wormadam but all 3 is Cheryl from DPP anime. But then she also has a Chansey and a Mothim, which says everything. Don't use Wormadam unless you get a brain transplant and for some unholy reason you manage to convince yourself that Wormadam is the bagworm reincarnation of Grass-type Arceus... yeah, comparison fail. I don't know what kind of metaphor to come up with to explain how hard this thing fails at... everything. At least Mothim has 94 in both offenses which does stuff if you manage to work around 'is 'orrible speed (I have, sort of).

ability:
Overcoat

Holy tittyfucking shit. Hold the presses! Wormadam now gets Overcoat via Dream World, bitches! So go get yourselves a Wormadam! ...Yeah, no. The only place where Wormadam is going to succeed is in her dreams.

item:
something which doubles all of Wormadam's stats

nature:
whatever seems best

moves:
Shell Smash, Bug Buzz, Seed Flare, Earth Power

No weak. And yes, you will need ActionReplay. :]

WHIMSICOTT

Now here's a Pokemon that is worth my fucking time. And yours too, if you love sheep, cotton, Grass types, and being the most annoying little shit in the Pokemon world (or in the top five, anyway). Do yourself a favour and don't use Whimsicott unless you're familiar with the concept of SubSeeding and how to work it. Whimsicott is not Sceptile, Roserade or Lilligant; it cannot do any kind of sweeping whatsoever at all (although thankfully its offenses aren't as godawful as Jumpluff's). If you want to sweep with Whimsicott, box the little cottonram and catch another Grass type like Venusaur or Virizion.

ability:
Prankster - why use anything else? sure, it gets Chlorophyll via DW... so??

item:
leftovers or big root

nature:
bold, modest, calm

moves:
Substitute, Leech Seed, filler, filler

A lot of people like Whimsicott/think it's adorable, but then they look at its stats and movepool and go "herp derp" because they don't know how to use it. XD Or they just look for another SubSeeder, like Sceptile. I personally have always considered Sceptile the best SubSeeder in the game, but I've recently come to correct this. Whimsicott SubSeeds without any need for any speed whatsoever; never mind that it's almost as fast as Sceptile. Much like Sceptile, its defensive stats leave something to be desired. However, Whimsicott does get Light Screen and Cotton Guard, and unlike Sceptile it doesn't need EVs for speed and/or (arguably) special attack, so those can go towards its defenses and then what's left can go to HP investment. Whimsicott also gets Hurricane, which is kinda awesome, except liable to miss if there's no Rain (btw, Whimsicott definitely appreciates rain, so if you don't care for Dry Skin Parasect at all, pairing Politoed and Whimsicott is actually not a bad idea; you can then use the rain for your always-accurate Hurricane which will check just about every Grass type 'cept Ferrothorn).

Anyways, here's how this cottonball works: SubSeed is the core of your strategy. You'll always go first when using either of these thanks to Prankster. What do you put in the last two moves? It's up to you. Whatever you need. It can be another support move (Taunt, Encore, Stun Spore) or it can be an attack (Giga Drain or Hurricane; nothing else warrants usage given his lame 77 sp. atk) or you can just run whichever two support moves you need. FYI, Whimsicott can Cotton Guard, which ups her Defense +3, and it can also Light Screen. It can also use Protect while behind a Sub to stall more and/or heal itself via Leech Seed + leftovers. It can Toxic, but it's preferable if you've got something do that for Whimsi, i.e. via Toxic Spikes. U-Turn is yet another option which allows you to gtfo. It can also use Charm, which will usually force switches. Finally, it can use Switcheroo and Grasswhistle, but those Whimsicott generally doesn't find the moveslots.

Note that this thing is like a little fairy troll, so you should never run two attacks on it. Whatever genius idea you think you have (i.e. Giga Drain + U-Turn, Giga Drain + Hurricane) is probably not all that ingenious. In theory it might seem tempting but in practice it won't work. You can't just SubSeed + 2 attacks and expect Whimsicott to kick back and win the battle. With a Pokemon like Sceptile's that works because he has blistering speed and good special attack. Whimsicott, however, is not Sceptile. It has 77 sp. atk vs. Sceptile's 105. Even with a modest nature and maximum sp. atk EVs, darling Whimsi won't do much damage with Giga Drain... or Hurricane for that matter. If you really want to SubSeed + 2 attacks, just use Sceptile.

also, it's motherfucking cold as fuck. *uses Cotton Guard* OwO

seriously, how/why am I supposed to care about gaining a couple of pounds (then losing them) in the winter? BITCH I NEED MY THICK FAT TO STAY ALIVE. I don't get skinny people who live in Canada, lol. I pray they never find themselves in a sticky situation otherwise they'll meet their maker in a couple hours. Whereas I can go a few hours without food in the crazy cold and without being wrapped in bison fur, lol. Gui used Stockpile! Gui survived Canadian Winter's attack!

...If I were a Pokemon my stats would be:
120 HP, 96 atk, 66 def, 69 sp. atk, 88 sp. def, 61 speed (500 total).

I'd be a Grass-Water fay/imp/troll-looking thing found in garden ponds, with the abilities Water Absorb and Sap Sipper (and Prankster via Dream World). Some of my moves include Leech Seed (duh), Horn Leech (I have little horns), Aqua Tail (yes I have a tail) and Moonlight (which I learn by breeding with Oddish, lololo). :D I can also Vine Whip and Power Whip.

OwO <3_<3 *o* ^o^ OvO u_u T_T :V :O O.O ~.~ p.p C: 0.0 *-* :3 *_* n__n;;

Read: The fiasco continues

bluebeard — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:38:44 GMT

Originally posted by electricdruid at The fiasco continues

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA? ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.

Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”

What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources -

Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness and get the word out on ACTA.

Via Tumblr

Happy New Year!

bluebeard — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 04:59:36 GMT

I AM THE BLOOD OF THE DRAGON.

FIRE & BLOOD, BITCHES.

View Poll: Chinese Signs

lol dis poll.

if you is Rat or Monkey = WE ARE SOULMATES. Y WE NO HAVING SEX ALL DAY EVERY DAY?? idk why da fuq is a dragon compatible with a rat or a monkey BUT I LOVE MY FRIEND SEAN WHO IS A RAT TO DEATH AND I WANNA SEXXX HIM AND I ALSO LOVE MY FRIEND ALEXXX WHO IS A MONKEY AND I SECRETLY WANT HIM ALSO.

if you is Dog I hate your fucking guts gtfo my LJ now.

if you is Ox or Rabbit we get along but beyond friendship shit won't work for us. *creys*

if you is Snake or Horse we could potentially werq and take it to the next level o bby.

if you is Rooster you're actually like my secret soulmate. not like Rat or Monkey but like you just are ok.

if you is Goat or Pig we get along ok, could be something more but unlikely.

if you is Tiger we'll have like the most tantric cosmically epic sexxx of all time (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) but in the long run we won't last because LOL POWER STRUGGLE.

and if you is Dragon you is too much like me so I hate you bye.

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 4.5

bluebeard — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:26:10 GMT

Well, I got inspired by the fact that following these will be Roserade, and boy oh boy do I have a lot of things to say about Roserade. :D You won't wanna miss that, lol.

MARACTUS

...Don't do drugs.

ability:
It has two very useful abilities, Water Absorb and Storm Drain.
The latter is best because it ups her good sp. atk. (106).

item:
leftovers or big root

nature:
modest

moves:
Cotton Guard, Spikes, Leech Seed, Giga Drain

If these moves look kinda random to you that's because they are. Maractus is a random desert weed that tries to be a flowery Cacturne but ultimately fails at both offense (because its speed is pathetic) and defense (because it has paper defenses). There's no reason to ever use this pathetic creature.

MEGANIUM

I have always and I will always love Meganium. As far as I'm concerned it's the coolest pure Grass type there is sans Lilligant, and if it but had a good ability (and possibly a helpful second typing) and better moves it'd be quite the threat in UU. Unfortunately, this is too much to ask for, and so Meganium will always be outclassed by its fellow Grass starters except Serperior. He is also outclassed by other pure Grass types like Tangrowth. All in all he's an excellent Pokemon, but many others do shit he does and they do it better, hence his nonexistent popularity. Choose Meganium if you want a sturdy Grass type, but don't ask of it what it cannot give.

ability:
Overgrow? Leaf Guard is stupid.

item:
leftovers

nature:
calm, relaxed, sassy or bold

moves:
Aromatherapy, Leech Seed, Giga Drain, Toxic/Synthesis

There's other things that Meganium can do, bu this is its best set. 'Tis the best Grass user of Aromatherapy as far as I'm concerned, having decent speed and excellent defenses. Leech Seed is a must, as it works wonders with leftovers. Giga Drain should be Meganium's move du jour, as it packs more power now while still healing him which is always nice. Finally, you can use Toxic to stop bulky waters (and/or cause more damage in general), but there's always Synthesis as well; the direct healing (as opposed to the indirect healing via lefties and leech seed) can definitely come in handy. :D

PARASECT

I love the shit out of this thing. Probably because I'm on 'shrooms. If this guy ever got an evolution I'd probably wet myself. Parasect is fcking awesome and has a lot of potential, it just doesn't have the stats to reach that potential. Much like Clefable, the only thing that stands in the way of its success is those lame-o stats. But ofc it doesn't end there: like every Bug, Parasect is weak to Stealth Rock. And like every Grass, Parasect has terrible weaknesses. In other words, its typing is terrible, and even if it gets an evolution it will never be a star. Still, an evo of it would be great.

ability:
Dry Skin is one of the main reasons to use Parasect, and a good reason it is.

item:
leftovers

nature:
adamant

moves:
Spore, Leech Seed, Substitute, X-Scissor

You can have Protect in the last moveslot, but then you won't have any attacks. This set can/should only be used in tandem with Drizzle Politoed, whom Parasect loves to side with because his infinite rain is a godsend for our darling 'shroom. Unfortunately, Drizzle or no Drizzle Parasect is still not a good Pokemon (I do love it, however) and I suspect that nothing short of an evolution will ever make Parasect any more usable (or useful) than it already is. Bug/Grass will not never not be a not horrible typing.

Grass PokéChallenge: Day 4

bluebeard — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:42:52 GMT

Been a while since I posted the last one, so here's 4 more! This time we have some cool Pokes, but only Ludicolo out of these is particularly good, mostly due to his typing. It so happens, however, that Ludicolo is the one Grass type that I absolutely cannot stand. You'd think combining my two favourite typings would redeem it in my eyes or something but nope. I can't stand its idiotic looks. I also hate Lombre and don't care for Lotad one tad, lol.

LEAFEON

Leafeon is a cool guy. I like his design and I was happy about his appearance in Gen IV. However, it has some major problems. Althought its Defense stat its epic, it's kinda wasted on him, especially when one considers that its special defense is basically crap. It does have good attack and speed, but not much to use them with. Its biggest flaw is the same as that of all other eeveelutions: minimalistic movepool. It really limits Leafeon.

ability:
It doesn't matter, since it can't use either very well due to nonexistent movepool. If you can, however, get Chlorophyll. At least he'll basically outspeed everything (not named Jumpluff) in the sun. XD

item:
leftovers

nature:
adamant

moves:
Swords Dance, Leaf Blade, X-Scissor, Return

You can substitute X-Scissor or Return for Baton Pass or Synthesis / Wish. It doesn't really matter, does it? It's not good at anything in particular. It can't tank like Vaporeon, sweep like Jolteon or b'pass like Espeon. Can you tell I'm uninspired? That's what Leafeon is: a pretty-looking leaf, but it can't do much of anything. Leafeon excels at being ornamental, but that's that.

LEAVANNY

I would honestly use this thing if it was like a grass-type moth or butterfly. Instead it turned into some sewing bug with a mommy-everyone complex that I really, really, really do not care for. I really like Sewaddle but don't care at all for Leavanny. Scolipede is so much cooler in every way. :P

ability:
Chlorophyll. It gets Overcoat in DW, but what good will that do?

item:
whatever you want

nature:
jolly or adamant

moves:
Swords Dance, X-Scissor, Leaf Blade, Return

Does that set remind you of anyone? Uh-huh. Well that's what Leavanny can do. Preferably with Sunny Day. Doomed either way since has bad defenses and horrible weaknesses thanks to her typing. Use her if you want but don't expect much. There are no other options (bar Baton Pass); this is it.

LILLIGANT

Lilligant is one of my favourite Grass types. I hope that future generations will be kind to her and give her more offensive moves, because she has a lot of potential. She's rather frail, much like Roserade, but has the same speed, and almost as good a special attack. What really sets Lilligant apart from Roserade however is the fact that she can learn Quiver Dance, the best set-up move there is bar Shell Smash. Lilligant can also Petal Dance to her heart's content thanks to her Own Tempo ability, which only she amongst Grass types can possess. It also has access to Sleep Powder, which is good.

ability:
Chlorophyll is more useful, but I prefer Own Tempo.

item:
lum berry to prevent status, or life orb for the extra power

nature:
timid, but modest is better if you have something to set up sun for Lilligant

moves:
Sleep Powder, Quiver Dance, Petal Dance or Giga Drain, Hidden Power.

If you cannot get Hidden Power, don't use Lilligant. There's nothing else that you can have on the last moveslot that is of any use for competitive battling. You could have Teeter Dance if you're playing in-game though. Or Dream Eater, Lilligant's only non-Grass non-Normal move. If Lilligant ever gets Weather Ball (or anything remotely useful) it will rule UU, but in the meantime Hidden Power it is. She has a lot of potential, just not right now. But then, just look at Cloyster - it took him 4 gens to become truly "good". XD

LUDICOLO

ability:
Drunken Pineapple

item:
vinegar bottle

nature:
alcoholic

moves:
Duck Dance, Pineapple Dance, Water Dance, Lotus Dance

First you do a Water Dance, then a Lotus Dance, then a Duck Dance, and finish with the foe with your Pineapple Dance. It has no weak, seriously.

...In other words, if you need a moveset for Ludicolo, ask Miror B. He has 4 of these things in Pokemon Colisseum, ridiculously annoying as that is. =_=