mega evaluation, take 2
Here we go again.
Before I start, I'm upping Mega Altaria's rating to 10/10. I realized over the weekend that her balanced stats are actually good, especially her equal offenses, and here's why: it means her mega doesn't automatically have to go special with fairy'd Hyper Voice. As it happens, Mega Altaria can run Dragon Dance with her 110 attack and 80 speed, and abuse Fairy Skin ("Pixilate" in EN) through Return, which becomes a 130 power physical Fairy move, and of course through Dragon Dance its power is increased. That is boss.
Anyways, in the past few days I've been thinking about some of the other megas, and wrote some stuff down. I don't really plan to use these (and thus won't rate them), and, once again, not all of them will be here, so there's going to be at least one more such post, probably reviewing the mega legendaries and the mega starters.
---
mega STEELIX: First of all, apparently Sean is not here for Mega Steelix, because of the design or something. No, it doesn't make any sense - Steelix is not a looker, and the added diamond stuff only helps it. Whatever, I find both to be butt-ugly and I don't care for either (or Onix, for that matter).
draion has warned me about coming for Mega Gengar and Mega Steelix but I'm gonna ahead and ignore his warnings since they both suck and so do their non-mega forms. :D
That aside, Mega Steelix is Nintendo's half-hearted attempt at improving regular Steelix, and I say half-hearted because they didn't improve his special defense enough. It did go up to 95, but that's not gonna cut it, given Steelix's base HP. The Attack boost is very welcome, since Steelix's base 85 attack is beyond awful. So that's nice. The defense boost is also good, but not exactly welcome, because Steelix already has godly defense (200) so 230 is kind of useless; it should have been something like 210, with the other 20 for special defense (making it 115, not 95). So yeah, Mega Steelix's alright, but there's no reason to use it unless you really like this mon. Great boost to Attack and Defense, but 95 on the special side coming from such basic HP stat is going to see him faint to lots of special moves, even neutral ones.
mega GLALIE: Okay, at first I was like "wtf is this is shit lol" but upon a closer look, Mega Glalie’s not bad at all, especially if you like Glalie, which I do (I prefer its design to that of Froslass, although Froslass is a much better mon and far more interesting to work with). Now, they could have made Glalie’s mega to be part Fairy, since Snorunt’s in the Fairy Egg group, but I think that it’s well-established that GameFreak lacks imagination. That being said, it’s not as if he’s unusable; 120 offenses with 100 speed is solid, and certainly better than Glalie’s mediocre 80-everything stats. Plus if you use Protect the first turn and get lucky with his hidden ability Moody (which raises a random stat, so pray to Arceus it’s his attack or special attack or even better, his speed), it might actually work well. And once he has mega evolved, he acquires Ice Skin (‘Refrigerate’), which is actually great on him! He can use Return (130 power via Refrigerate!) and Earthquake for coverage. There’s also Super Fang and Headbutt (for flinching!), which could come in handy now that he has decent speed. On the special side, Glalie doesn’t really have anything to abuse his ability with – sure, he gets decent moves like Ice Beam, Dark Pulse, Shadow Ball, Signal Beam, but it just really inferior to physical Glalie. All the above said, let’s be real here: Mega Glalie should have been a regular evolution (I will NEVER get tired of saying that – ni ahora, ni nunca), because as far as megas go, it’s really fucking mediocre and there’s 0 reasons to pick it over just about every other mega.
mega GALLADE: When Mega Gardevoir was first announced, what we were all asking is "Why hasn’t Gallade gotten a mega too?" Ask, and you shall receive. And now we’re asking where’s Mega Froslass and Mega Slowking (I’m especially here for the latter). Well, here’s the thing about mGard: it’s actually kind of terrible, mostly because of the way its stats are distributed, especially its defense, which remained the same shitty 65 that it has before mega-evolving. Being part-Fairy (i.e. to take advantage of its typing), mGard should have had something like 68/105/135 defenses, keeping its unneeded attack stat at 65 instead of increasing it to 85 for no goddamn reason, and having slightly less special attack (155 instead of 165).
Well, I’m here to tell you the good news: You should 100% use mGall and not mGard. Everything that they did wrong with mGard they fixed with mGall. It is the perfect balance of offense (165 attack and 110 speed) and defense (95 defense and 115 special defense). Yes, Psychic-Fighting isn’t better than Psychic-Fairy, but there’s a reason no-one’s really using Gardevoir’s mega over other megas, and it’s the reasons mentioned above. Sure, Mega Gardevoir hits really hard, and it’s fantastic as a sweeper. But there’s a lot of hardhitters out there who can also take hits better, especially on the physical side, whereas Gardevoir faints easily to even moderately powerful physical hits. Besides, Mega Gallade looks a lot cooler; Mega Gardevoir reminds me of people on Jenny Craig diets. Also Diantha uses her, and I hate that old fancy cunt.
mega SLOWBRO: If you’re confused about Mega Slowbro’s design, you aren’t alone. I am too. Hell, even Mega Slowbro is confused as to how he ended up that way. But goofy design aside, the most confusing thing about Mega Slowbro is how it’s going to be good any good as a wall without any kind of special defense to back it up. Of its 100 allotted mega-evolution stats, 70 went to defense, and 30 to special attack, leaving his special defense the same as before, base 80. Sure, it can now tank physical hits like a boss, since 95 HP and 180 Defense is off the chain, especially with Shell Armor to prevent crit-hits and reliable recovery in Slack Off. That alone will ensure his mega sees usage... probably. Of course, the bad special defense is still there, and so the question on most people’s minds will be something like "why use this mega over other megas?" Upon mega-evolving, Slowbro loses one of the things that makes him useful – his hidden ability, Regenerator – on top of losing his item slot, which could have gone for leftovers or something. So I think people will continue to use Slowbro, but not so much his mega, and indeed, why the hell would they? Mega Metagross has 150 defense and better typing, a better ability, higher offenses, higher speed, doesn’t need Trick Room, and its special defense is 30 points higher, a solid 110. Do the math, bruh.
mega METAGROSS: To understand how much I love Hoenn, you need to understand that I had a Metagross in Emerald. That’s right, I had a Metagross in Emerald. And a Salamence. No, they weren’t just for show. I actually used them in my team, and played through with them. There aren’t a lot of Hoenn mons I dislike, and the ones I do (hi Luvdisc) is because they’re really fucking stupid and/or useless (usually both, like Spinda).
Metagross is an odd chap. His design is very machine-like, and he’s the Champion’s Pokemon. He’s the only pseudo-legendary that’s part Steel, and the only one that’s part Psychic. And just like Tyranitar, and his fellow pseudo-legend, Salamence, he too got a mega. A very, very, very powerful one, and very, very, very problematic for the metagame.
First off, his ability changes upon mega evolution, as is usually the case. His normal ability is good (Clear Body) but not heaven-sent. However, Tough Claws is we’re-all-gonna-die good. Meta was never one for special attacks, so giving him Tough Claws to a physical mon like him is just insane. His Meteor Mash is going to single-handedly destroy any kind of Fairy-type that isn't Klefki or Mawile. His movepool is finger-lickin’ good, with plenty of moves to abuse his new ability. Sounds crazy, right?
Not as crazy as his stats, holy fucking shit. Let me tell you a thing: Mega Metagross has 80/150/110 defenses. As a defense-lover, that makes me cry, especially because his Steel typing is so delicious, even though I FUCKING HATE STEEL TYPES YOU ARE ENEMIES OF THE FAIRY QUEENDOM AND THE GRASS NATION FUCK YOUUU. Seriously though, it’s fucking ridiculous.
Then it gets worse. His offenses are 145/105/110. They could have kept him relatively slow at 80 or 90 speed, but instead they skyrocketed said speed to 110, effectively making him outspeed the base 100 mons. To say nothing of the 145 attack which combined with Tough Claws is going to anhilate just about anything that doesn’t have the bulk (or the resistances) to stand up to this thing. There’s 0 reasons why Mega Metagross should exist, but it does.
If I could express "I’m not here for that" in all of Earth’s 6,000+ languages, I would, and then I’d send a voice recording to Nintendo.
mega SALAMENCE: No.
Yes, I knew it was coming. No, I’m not here for it. I will never be here for it. Silly design aside, my main problem with it is the ridiculous power it wields when it mega evolves, and the crazy-ass 130 defense it gets now, which when combined with Intimidate (prior to mega evolving) means serious business. The good news is that it still 90 special defense, and any decent Moonblast or Ice Beam will knock it out of the sky (but Rock Slides, not so much). The bad news is everything else, namely 145/120/120 offenses. You know how it can learn Fire Blast and Hydro Pump? Well, now it wields those moves with more power than a lot of Fire and Water types ever have. And that’s bullshit.
mega SHARPEDO: Another sad case of "they tried it". I'm just gonna go ahead and say "Don't use this, period". Even if you were to BPass it defense (or special defense) boosts through Iron Defense, Amnesia, Stockpile, or Cosmic Power, it wouldn't be worth it, because lots of megas have better offenses while also being able to take a hit or two. I think he looks cool enough, but this just isn't usable. Sorry Archie but I'm gonna wipe the floor with this thing. TEAM MAGMA FOR THE WIN! YAAAS MAXIE'S MAGMADICK! LONG LIVE PRIMAL GROUDON!
mega SABLEYE: Mega Sableye actually makes me want to use Sableye, but I'm kind of already hooked on Mega Mawile tbh, and Mega Sableye's defenses don't hold a candle to Mega Audino's, so whatever. I really approve of this little guy, tho. Its pre-mega ability is godly (Prankster!) but its mega ability is also good (Magic Bounce). Its bad HP is somewhat remedied through its mega defenses of 125 and 115 respectively, plus reliable recovery in Moonlight and Recover, which Mega Mawile would KILL for. The bad news is that it got 85/85 offenses, but then again, Sableye should never be used offensively, mega or not. This is probably my favourite non-favourite mega (yes that makes sense). XD
mega PIDGEOT: Well to be honest I never cared much for the Pidgey line, and not just because it wasn't good back then. And since BW, Unfezant has been my favourite Normal and Flying type (tied with Mandibuzz and Donkrow for overall fave Flying type), so I care about Pidgeot (and its mega) even less now. I admit that it's very cool, though! It got minimal boosts to its defenses (80 in both, plus 83 HP), which are now "okay" instead of subpar. That's not Mega Pidgeot's main selling point, however, but its crazy special attack boost (now base 135!) and its great speed boost (it got boosted from 91 to 101 this gen, and when mega it becomes 121), plus No Guard ability, which allows Pidgeot to abuse the otherwise innacurate Hurricane, and somewhat-innacurate Air Slash and Heat Wave (move tutor). The latter means he won't be stopped by Steel types. So hey, good for you, Pidgeot and Pidgeot lovers.
...And that's it! I only have the starters' megas and the Hoenn trio's megas left to review! I won't bother with Mega Hoopa for now because it's foolish to be making a mega of something that isn't even out or announced, lol. Plus it's not actually known whether it's a mega or an alternate forme (like that of Shaymin and such).
Before I start, I'm upping Mega Altaria's rating to 10/10. I realized over the weekend that her balanced stats are actually good, especially her equal offenses, and here's why: it means her mega doesn't automatically have to go special with fairy'd Hyper Voice. As it happens, Mega Altaria can run Dragon Dance with her 110 attack and 80 speed, and abuse Fairy Skin ("Pixilate" in EN) through Return, which becomes a 130 power physical Fairy move, and of course through Dragon Dance its power is increased. That is boss.
Anyways, in the past few days I've been thinking about some of the other megas, and wrote some stuff down. I don't really plan to use these (and thus won't rate them), and, once again, not all of them will be here, so there's going to be at least one more such post, probably reviewing the mega legendaries and the mega starters.
---
mega STEELIX: First of all, apparently Sean is not here for Mega Steelix, because of the design or something. No, it doesn't make any sense - Steelix is not a looker, and the added diamond stuff only helps it. Whatever, I find both to be butt-ugly and I don't care for either (or Onix, for that matter).
draion has warned me about coming for Mega Gengar and Mega Steelix but I'm gonna ahead and ignore his warnings since they both suck and so do their non-mega forms. :DThat aside, Mega Steelix is Nintendo's half-hearted attempt at improving regular Steelix, and I say half-hearted because they didn't improve his special defense enough. It did go up to 95, but that's not gonna cut it, given Steelix's base HP. The Attack boost is very welcome, since Steelix's base 85 attack is beyond awful. So that's nice. The defense boost is also good, but not exactly welcome, because Steelix already has godly defense (200) so 230 is kind of useless; it should have been something like 210, with the other 20 for special defense (making it 115, not 95). So yeah, Mega Steelix's alright, but there's no reason to use it unless you really like this mon. Great boost to Attack and Defense, but 95 on the special side coming from such basic HP stat is going to see him faint to lots of special moves, even neutral ones.
mega GLALIE: Okay, at first I was like "wtf is this is shit lol" but upon a closer look, Mega Glalie’s not bad at all, especially if you like Glalie, which I do (I prefer its design to that of Froslass, although Froslass is a much better mon and far more interesting to work with). Now, they could have made Glalie’s mega to be part Fairy, since Snorunt’s in the Fairy Egg group, but I think that it’s well-established that GameFreak lacks imagination. That being said, it’s not as if he’s unusable; 120 offenses with 100 speed is solid, and certainly better than Glalie’s mediocre 80-everything stats. Plus if you use Protect the first turn and get lucky with his hidden ability Moody (which raises a random stat, so pray to Arceus it’s his attack or special attack or even better, his speed), it might actually work well. And once he has mega evolved, he acquires Ice Skin (‘Refrigerate’), which is actually great on him! He can use Return (130 power via Refrigerate!) and Earthquake for coverage. There’s also Super Fang and Headbutt (for flinching!), which could come in handy now that he has decent speed. On the special side, Glalie doesn’t really have anything to abuse his ability with – sure, he gets decent moves like Ice Beam, Dark Pulse, Shadow Ball, Signal Beam, but it just really inferior to physical Glalie. All the above said, let’s be real here: Mega Glalie should have been a regular evolution (I will NEVER get tired of saying that – ni ahora, ni nunca), because as far as megas go, it’s really fucking mediocre and there’s 0 reasons to pick it over just about every other mega.
mega GALLADE: When Mega Gardevoir was first announced, what we were all asking is "Why hasn’t Gallade gotten a mega too?" Ask, and you shall receive. And now we’re asking where’s Mega Froslass and Mega Slowking (I’m especially here for the latter). Well, here’s the thing about mGard: it’s actually kind of terrible, mostly because of the way its stats are distributed, especially its defense, which remained the same shitty 65 that it has before mega-evolving. Being part-Fairy (i.e. to take advantage of its typing), mGard should have had something like 68/105/135 defenses, keeping its unneeded attack stat at 65 instead of increasing it to 85 for no goddamn reason, and having slightly less special attack (155 instead of 165).
Well, I’m here to tell you the good news: You should 100% use mGall and not mGard. Everything that they did wrong with mGard they fixed with mGall. It is the perfect balance of offense (165 attack and 110 speed) and defense (95 defense and 115 special defense). Yes, Psychic-Fighting isn’t better than Psychic-Fairy, but there’s a reason no-one’s really using Gardevoir’s mega over other megas, and it’s the reasons mentioned above. Sure, Mega Gardevoir hits really hard, and it’s fantastic as a sweeper. But there’s a lot of hardhitters out there who can also take hits better, especially on the physical side, whereas Gardevoir faints easily to even moderately powerful physical hits. Besides, Mega Gallade looks a lot cooler; Mega Gardevoir reminds me of people on Jenny Craig diets. Also Diantha uses her, and I hate that old fancy cunt.
mega SLOWBRO: If you’re confused about Mega Slowbro’s design, you aren’t alone. I am too. Hell, even Mega Slowbro is confused as to how he ended up that way. But goofy design aside, the most confusing thing about Mega Slowbro is how it’s going to be good any good as a wall without any kind of special defense to back it up. Of its 100 allotted mega-evolution stats, 70 went to defense, and 30 to special attack, leaving his special defense the same as before, base 80. Sure, it can now tank physical hits like a boss, since 95 HP and 180 Defense is off the chain, especially with Shell Armor to prevent crit-hits and reliable recovery in Slack Off. That alone will ensure his mega sees usage... probably. Of course, the bad special defense is still there, and so the question on most people’s minds will be something like "why use this mega over other megas?" Upon mega-evolving, Slowbro loses one of the things that makes him useful – his hidden ability, Regenerator – on top of losing his item slot, which could have gone for leftovers or something. So I think people will continue to use Slowbro, but not so much his mega, and indeed, why the hell would they? Mega Metagross has 150 defense and better typing, a better ability, higher offenses, higher speed, doesn’t need Trick Room, and its special defense is 30 points higher, a solid 110. Do the math, bruh.
mega METAGROSS: To understand how much I love Hoenn, you need to understand that I had a Metagross in Emerald. That’s right, I had a Metagross in Emerald. And a Salamence. No, they weren’t just for show. I actually used them in my team, and played through with them. There aren’t a lot of Hoenn mons I dislike, and the ones I do (hi Luvdisc) is because they’re really fucking stupid and/or useless (usually both, like Spinda).
Metagross is an odd chap. His design is very machine-like, and he’s the Champion’s Pokemon. He’s the only pseudo-legendary that’s part Steel, and the only one that’s part Psychic. And just like Tyranitar, and his fellow pseudo-legend, Salamence, he too got a mega. A very, very, very powerful one, and very, very, very problematic for the metagame.
First off, his ability changes upon mega evolution, as is usually the case. His normal ability is good (Clear Body) but not heaven-sent. However, Tough Claws is we’re-all-gonna-die good. Meta was never one for special attacks, so giving him Tough Claws to a physical mon like him is just insane. His Meteor Mash is going to single-handedly destroy any kind of Fairy-type that isn't Klefki or Mawile. His movepool is finger-lickin’ good, with plenty of moves to abuse his new ability. Sounds crazy, right?
Not as crazy as his stats, holy fucking shit. Let me tell you a thing: Mega Metagross has 80/150/110 defenses. As a defense-lover, that makes me cry, especially because his Steel typing is so delicious, even though I FUCKING HATE STEEL TYPES YOU ARE ENEMIES OF THE FAIRY QUEENDOM AND THE GRASS NATION FUCK YOUUU. Seriously though, it’s fucking ridiculous.
Then it gets worse. His offenses are 145/105/110. They could have kept him relatively slow at 80 or 90 speed, but instead they skyrocketed said speed to 110, effectively making him outspeed the base 100 mons. To say nothing of the 145 attack which combined with Tough Claws is going to anhilate just about anything that doesn’t have the bulk (or the resistances) to stand up to this thing. There’s 0 reasons why Mega Metagross should exist, but it does.
If I could express "I’m not here for that" in all of Earth’s 6,000+ languages, I would, and then I’d send a voice recording to Nintendo.
mega SALAMENCE: No.
Yes, I knew it was coming. No, I’m not here for it. I will never be here for it. Silly design aside, my main problem with it is the ridiculous power it wields when it mega evolves, and the crazy-ass 130 defense it gets now, which when combined with Intimidate (prior to mega evolving) means serious business. The good news is that it still 90 special defense, and any decent Moonblast or Ice Beam will knock it out of the sky (but Rock Slides, not so much). The bad news is everything else, namely 145/120/120 offenses. You know how it can learn Fire Blast and Hydro Pump? Well, now it wields those moves with more power than a lot of Fire and Water types ever have. And that’s bullshit.
mega SHARPEDO: Another sad case of "they tried it". I'm just gonna go ahead and say "Don't use this, period". Even if you were to BPass it defense (or special defense) boosts through Iron Defense, Amnesia, Stockpile, or Cosmic Power, it wouldn't be worth it, because lots of megas have better offenses while also being able to take a hit or two. I think he looks cool enough, but this just isn't usable. Sorry Archie but I'm gonna wipe the floor with this thing. TEAM MAGMA FOR THE WIN! YAAAS MAXIE'S MAGMADICK! LONG LIVE PRIMAL GROUDON!
mega SABLEYE: Mega Sableye actually makes me want to use Sableye, but I'm kind of already hooked on Mega Mawile tbh, and Mega Sableye's defenses don't hold a candle to Mega Audino's, so whatever. I really approve of this little guy, tho. Its pre-mega ability is godly (Prankster!) but its mega ability is also good (Magic Bounce). Its bad HP is somewhat remedied through its mega defenses of 125 and 115 respectively, plus reliable recovery in Moonlight and Recover, which Mega Mawile would KILL for. The bad news is that it got 85/85 offenses, but then again, Sableye should never be used offensively, mega or not. This is probably my favourite non-favourite mega (yes that makes sense). XD
mega PIDGEOT: Well to be honest I never cared much for the Pidgey line, and not just because it wasn't good back then. And since BW, Unfezant has been my favourite Normal and Flying type (tied with Mandibuzz and Donkrow for overall fave Flying type), so I care about Pidgeot (and its mega) even less now. I admit that it's very cool, though! It got minimal boosts to its defenses (80 in both, plus 83 HP), which are now "okay" instead of subpar. That's not Mega Pidgeot's main selling point, however, but its crazy special attack boost (now base 135!) and its great speed boost (it got boosted from 91 to 101 this gen, and when mega it becomes 121), plus No Guard ability, which allows Pidgeot to abuse the otherwise innacurate Hurricane, and somewhat-innacurate Air Slash and Heat Wave (move tutor). The latter means he won't be stopped by Steel types. So hey, good for you, Pidgeot and Pidgeot lovers.
...And that's it! I only have the starters' megas and the Hoenn trio's megas left to review! I won't bother with Mega Hoopa for now because it's foolish to be making a mega of something that isn't even out or announced, lol. Plus it's not actually known whether it's a mega or an alternate forme (like that of Shaymin and such).