my plan is foolproof

Pictures

2016-01-10T05:37:33Z

It's been a long time. Posting here about my new blog, I have picked up photography (and travelled some): Stop Licking

Happy New Year! :)

Things to look forward to in 2016:

MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA!
Reading Hyperion by Dan Simmons
.... and everything else good in life (health, food, family, love, animals, books, games, movies, binging tv shows, lattes...)

Defiance

2014-10-12T18:44:18Z

Defiance is awesome! I hope they didn't cancel it. (Catching up on shows.)

bionic @ 2014-06-14T21:59:00

2014-06-15T04:59:12Z

Long time no see, LJ. Hope everyone is doing well. Posting so this journal doesn't get de-activated or any other silly things like that. Trying to watch new shows legitimately from free streaming sources, so basically, behind on every show. Ate way too much food today.

bionic @ 2014-01-25T21:14:00

2014-01-26T05:14:03Z

When you realize you've burned your thighs with the laptop probably over the course of several weeks.

merry christmas

2013-12-26T00:31:46Z

It’s a house in the distance, sitting on top of the horizon, and before it is the thin dirt path surrounded by gently swaying grass, stretching from you to this fixed but unknown point in the future. The house remains the same size when you’re looking, when you’re not, out of the corner of your eye, in your peripheral, when you’re awake and when you’re dreaming, asleep. But the distance changes, sometimes very little, and one day you look and it seems within reach, while the next it’s pushed back many miles that you cannot gauge. There are no signposts on this road, no markers to tell you how much farther, or how far you’ve traveled. The fields are always a vibrant green. The only sound you hear is wind swaying the grass, and a quiet that fills an open meadow to the brimful with possibility.

The journey is not solitary. It may feel as such when there is nothing but you, the sky, the clouds, the grass, the house. There are many houses like yours, somewhere you cannot see, or maybe there is just the one, but the journey is not made alone. You are part of someone’s journey, splintered pieces of you that others may carry. A piece of you - the warm weight guarding someone’s heart. A piece of them carried in the space between your lungs. Many moments plucked from time and folded into their pocket. When you are most weary, it takes reminding each day (or minute or hour) that you share the same breath.

Popping in to say Merry Christmas to you and yours. Be safe, live happily, see you in the new year.

fic: between the dream and a breath (inception, arthur/eames) wip

2013-08-21T05:35:43Z

So, I started writing a thing a long while back. It's a WiP. Posting here so that I might get motivated to continue writing it. *sigh*

He wakes at 8:25 on the dot, eyes fluttering open, sucking in a wet gasp of breath. The sun filters in cheerily, as if nothing had happened.

**

“You’re clearly under a lot of stress,” his therapist tells him, just like she does every Tuesday for the past two months. The pain is still fresh, like wirework under his skin, mapped to every nerve, every muscle and sinew, tied to his bones. It aches to wake up, to be pulled up from a dream only to be drowned.

“You need to keep writing,” she tells him with sincerity and encouragement, a hint of pleading. But nothing like empathy.

No one can understand how it feels.

**

He doesn’t remember the faces or the names, but he remembers the pain and the sounds – gunfire, shouts, the searing heat of a bullet piercing his chest, just inches away from his heart. How he fell backwards tied to the chair and the sick crack of his skull against the concrete and the warm crawl of blood pooling out around his head before he eventually lost consciousness.

All of those images are crystal clear as if it happened yesterday. Occasionally it still hurts to breath. Phantom pains, the doctor called it, when little pinpricks would spark under his sternum and make his breath short, his chest feel tight.

Two men came by to take him out of his room and to his apartment, though he can’t remember ever living there. They introduced themselves as Dom Cobb and the other simply Eames. Arthur can’t remember anything immediate and concrete about either of them from before.

Dom Cobb drove them to the apartment and Arthur remembered the street and the building, but when they stepped inside, it didn’t feel like his. The shelves were filled with books and old records, and a stack of newspapers sat by the coat hanger just inside the door. No dust, not even on the television.

“I tried to tidy it up for you,” Eames had said with a wan turn of his lips.

“Sorry.” He finds himself apologizing a lot.

Eames frowned, squeezed his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

**

The men who did this are either dead or in prison, they tell him. Cobb is still adamant that Arthur leaves the city. Arthur feels unmoored and adrift. He could be living anywhere right now, and it would still be the same. Strange, unfamiliar, unremarkable.

“I’ll stay with him,” Eames states, the debate suddenly over.

Eames is kind and patient, even when Arthur can see his condition taking a toll. Eames’ face will occasionally go still and his lips will thin – sometimes he turns away to hide his disappointment after he says something to jog Arthur’s memory, something that should be simply obvious like I can’t believe you still have that suit, and Arthur can’t find the right words to answer.

Arthur scowls because it would be easier if he were alone. Easier for them both.

**

Writing helps him deal with the situation. It’s an outlet, an escape. Writing helps him collect what little thoughts he has and hopefully, one day, “it will help trigger your memories.”

Or so his therapist says.

He writes pages and pages of nonsense. The impossible things he glimpses when he is asleep. How frustrated he feels. The people in his dreams are either blank spaces or mere shadows and no matter how hard he looks, he can’t identify them.

“They’re just dreams.” Eames tells him one morning as Arthur scribbles quietly in his black notebook. He hears but he doesn’t believe. The dreams feel more real than the man sitting next to him. Arthur says nothing to the contrary.

**

One Friday night, Eames stays away from the apartment until two in the morning. Arthur can’t sleep. He’s sitting up in bed against the wall, staring at the walls of his bedroom. The bookcase is filled with novels, biographies, and tomes of history and architecture, and he can’t remember reading any of them. Eames is usually in before dinner from whatever he does during the day, and they usually share a quiet meal together and watch some television on the couch.

He’s been waiting for the sound of Eames’ car pulling up to the curb, the slam of a single door and the jangle of keys in the lock. He waits until his eyelids turn heavy, tipping onto his side, before those familiar sounds wake him.

Arthur expects him to be drunk, maybe a bit morose, though he’s not sure why, and the thought turns his stomach because he feels guilty, useless and angry, a mix of emotions that have been clawing at the back of his throat from day one.

It’s surprising when Eames heads straight for Arthur’s room with none of the fumbling footsteps or slurring that Arthur expects. He pushes open the slightly ajar door with a slow but sure hand. Arthur sees his eyes, dry and clear, and can’t smell a single drop of alcohol in the air. It’s surprising, even though Arthur has never seen him drink the entire time he’s stayed with him. A remnant from before, maybe?

“You didn’t have to wait up,” Eames says in what sounds like a peace offering. He has a slightly apologetic look on his face. “Business ran late.”

Business. Right. Arthur knows as much as they tell him, which is slim. Apparently, their little outfit worked in the black market. Smuggling goods, people, drugs – Arthur could only guess. Eames never talks about his work and Arthur doesn’t particularly want to know.

Eames leans against the doorframe for a while, the sleeves of his white oxford rolled up to his elbows. He crosses his arms and Arthur’s eyes skim over the faint shimmer of black around his knuckles. They could be bruises, Arthur’s not sure.

“Dinner’s in the fridge.” Arthur mumbles, too tired suddenly for much else. He hunkers down in the bed and turns over with his back to the door, his mind already drifting.

[to be continued...]

teen wolf

2013-08-01T01:03:11Z

Started watching Teen Wolf. Knee deep in season one. SHIPPING JACKSON/DEREK. Love Jackson/Derek. MUST HAVE MORE JACKSON/DEREK.

Wny is there not more Jackson/Derek in this world?!

vid: jungle (my head is a..) - Sherlock BBC (Sherlock/John)

2013-06-20T06:18:36Z

This song is absolutely gorgeous and moody and was the catalyst for this vid. It screamed Sherlock to me.

Jungle
Sherlock BBC, Sherlock/John
Song by Emma Louise
Angst, Romance, Friendship

DOWNLOAD: 86 MB .mp4 HD quality

STREAM: Youtube view HD for best experience :)

In a dark room, we fight
Make up for our love
I've been thinking, thinking about you, about us.
And we're moving, slow
Our hearts beat so fast
I've been dreaming, dreaming about you, about us.
My head is a jungle, jungle.
My head.
We're speaking, soft
See the pain in your eyes
I've been feeling, feeling for you, my love.
And our bodies, are tired
Our shadows will dance
I've been aching, aching for you, my love.
My head is a jungle, jungle.
My head.
My love is wasted sorry for this I never meant to be hurting ourselves, hurting ourselves.
And I'm complicated you won't get me I have trouble understanding myself, understanding myself.
My head is a jungle, jungle.

Comments are greatly appreciated :)

It's been over a year since my last vid. Wow.

snake eyes/storm shadow

2013-04-04T04:36:31Z

Soo...where are all the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow fics??

Yes, I did just watch GI Joe Retaliation this past weekend. Yes, it was action galore. Yes, see it for the ninjas and Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, if nothing else.

update

2013-03-13T02:12:13Z

Started a new job recently. It is a lot of work. I am still adjusting. Life is hard :(

Other than that, been playing ME3 and multiplayer to take my mind off of real life. Played The Citadel DLC and hands down, my favorite ME DLC ever. I loved the twist. And everything and everybody. Mass Effect, I have never loved one as much as I do you. I will never let you go. Not until they shut off the servers and pry you from my cold dead hands <3

happy holidays, happy new year

2012-12-28T21:26:46Z

Hello! Long time no see. Just wanted to pop by and wish everyone a happy holidays and a happy new year. May the new year bring you more joy than the last.

still here

2012-12-01T06:53:02Z

Bah. Still here. Haven't done anything creative in a while..which is why this journal has been pretty sparse lately. Still playing ME3 multiplayer. And watching lots of Youtube. I think I might try to get back into vidding. It's been more than a year, I believe.. Or close to anyway. Yikes. I have the perfect song for a Once Upon A Time (Belle/Rumple) vid.. I'm dying to make it. Hope everyone is doing well. Just ignore me :) Popping in to keep this darn journal alive and to say hi, hope you are doing well.

once upon a time

2012-10-18T14:26:17Z

Have become obsessed with this show..and infatuated (yet again) by Robert Carlyle. He never ceases to amaze me he is absolutely marvelous in everything he does <3

...*suddenly very nostalgic for SGU*

writing again..wuhh?

2012-09-28T03:28:05Z

I've been playing a lot of Mass Effect multiplayer, it is GLORIOUS. If you play on the PC, give me a holler. I am mostly a bronze-silver type, though I would like to try Gold someday soon it's just I don't want to be too much of a noob in a pug lobby.

In other news, have started writing again, a fic about my two favorite vanguards in MP - the Phoenix and Slayer :D Up to 4 pages, 2000+ words... most I've written in nearly a year? Yea, that's sad... I don't even know if it's crap, it very well could be.

ME3 multiplayer

2012-07-18T03:37:43Z

Also, the one weekend I decide to play MP, and we failed the objective. BOO.

It may be the last time I'm able to play for a while. Busy moving, oy!

when life happens

2012-07-17T01:34:26Z

...it *really* happens. It's been a long time since my last post (months?), I'm so sorry for not keeping up with everyone! I have been busy with life and when not absorbed in that, I've been playing ME3 and reading Shep/Kaidan and just generally wishing I could be a space marine :)

Parkour and martial arts classes are hopefully giving me super-hero like abilities, in addition to putting on a little muscle and losing a bit of fat.

Have you seen the Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn trailer? It looks SO BADASS AMAZING. I literally had a nerdgasm. I mean, I haven't been this excited for anything since ME3 released.

Also, thank you SDCC for the Deadpool: The Game trailer.

Finally, excited about PAX next month. I will take ALL THE PICTURES of awesome Mass Effect cosplays and generally be a complete stalker-fangirl.

Oh, and, we bought a house? So yeah, LIFE. *hand-flailing*

Hope everyone is doing well!

Sakura Con 2012 pictures

2012-04-12T05:03:45Z

Really awesome people and cosplays. Met Reuben Langdon (great guy, super nice!), saw TWO Commander Shepards!! Fantastic and HUGE Assassin's Creed photoshoot. Awesome Devil May Cry cosplayers, too.

Reuben Langdon and (really tall) Vergil!

Altair (me) and Vergil

Voice acting panel, with Reuben Langdon, Chris Sabat, Steve Blum

The Devil May Cry family, with Mr. Langdon:

Double assassination! Desmond and I.

CUTEST CASTIEL EVER! Cas, smiting me.

Really amazing Captain Jack Harkness.

Altair and old!Ezio

Sephiroth

Altair and Malik

Silly assassins...

Commander Shepard! *salutes*

Really cool guys from Infamous

Ewok and Deadpool

Avatar the Last Airbender

Here is the Assassin's Creed photoshoot:

I love this guy. Such an awesome modern assassin.

Desmonds torturing Shaun

Poor Malik...

Ready, Fight!

The Apple of Eden calls to us...

Altair and Malik <3

Yoga poses

Alex Mercer loves Altair

AMAZING FURRY! So pretty and cute and the mouth actually moved.

And AMAZING Commander Shepard <3 I think the armor is made out of chainmail-eque links.. it was only partially finished but still, ROCKIN':

Super detailed and accurate Ninja Gaiden cosplay

DANTE!

Subzero

Super awesome Sokka and Jet from Avatar the Last Airbender

Whew! No write-up, other than Reuben Langdon is awesome, I'm so happy I saw TWO Shepards, and they made me so happy :DDDDD

SAKURA-CON!

2012-04-06T04:21:35Z

My first time going to Sakura-con this weekend!

Costumes:

Friday - Casual Shepard (urban camo pants + N7 hoodie)
Saturday - Altair, Assassin's Creed
Sunday - Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed

WOOT WOOT :D Pics of course will follow.

ME3 soundtrack

2012-03-29T18:26:09Z

I keep listening to the ME3 soundtrack and want to bawl at the same time as I am getting nostalgic and happy and it's like this WAR OF EMOTIONS inside.

Mass Effect 3 again - more thoughts on end (spoilers)

2012-03-24T08:32:35Z

I've made my peace with the ending. I just got my "perfect" ending, and you know what, that's what I needed.
All I needed was that 2 second clip of Shepard taking a breath. My Shep is alive. HALLELUJAH!! Now, if we get more content about Shepard reuniting with his crew, I can die happy. But just to know that my Shep is alive improved the ending for me, dramatically, a lot. Now, who's writing the epic fic where Shepard reunites with the Normandy on what looks to be a tropical oasis and then they have to rebuild civilizations? OH WAIT. The mass relays were destroyed. Oops. How the hell does Shep reunite with the Normandy crew then?? Unless of course they crashed on Earth... HMM! Yes. That is my part of my headcanon now. (Of course this is highly unlikely-but that's why it's heacanon :D)

I said to myself, gee! It's much better when your Shep lives. Of course, more closure would be helluva good idea, too, and hopefully we'll be getting that sometime in the future from Bioware.

But I just want to say, despite all the chatter about the ending, I enjoyed this game immensely, my favorite game of the series (yes, even with the ending).. Beautifully done, a piece of art, an emotional rollercoaster, the best escape from reality, with AWESOME multiplayer (and I never play multiplayer on anything), and just basically THANK YOU Bioware for making ME. This fan eagerly awaits your next move. Yeah, I'll shell out more cash. There's nothing like this stuff. As long as the caliber of material is up to par, I'll be buying more ME if they make it. And that's about all I wanted to say. Just wanted to leave a little positivity, and remind everyone how amazing and wonderful 99% of the game is. Don't forget that. (just my 2 cents)

ME3 finished - brief thoughts on the game

2012-03-18T22:08:07Z

I'm not sure how to feel about the ending. I chose to destroy the Reapers and synthetics and died in the process...I just started a new Shepard to play through it again to get the other ending (and also, to romance Cortez this time.) My thoughts, in no particular order:

I REALLY REALLY LIKE the new face for Shepard. Maybe I've gotten used to. He looks damn good. Also, Mark Meer does an excellent job voice-acting this time around, totally blows the previous games away.

Liara is too awesome in this game. Love Liara. I wish the game didn't bug out and get me stuck everytime I go to talk with Joker or EDI in the cockpit. THIS IS FRUSTRATING.

Kaidan!!! NOT ENOUGH WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE KAIDAN. And Kaidan and Shepard together FINALLY. I admit the romance subplot, after the beginning of the game where you almost lose Kaidan and then you have the confrontation with Udina, it kind of ran out of steam until the ending. I wish they'd incorporated more development between the two..it felt like the romance kind of fell by the wayside? In light of the major plot developments/arcs in the story, I can understand that. Still, wish there was more. I mean I cried when Eva almost took out Kaidan! I wish shocked and really worried they'd killed him. I didn't even cry at the ending (although I did get teary-eyed). Is it weird that that was the emotional high point for me?

Not to say the ending wasn't emotionally draining. It felt like there were too many things unresolved. I felt iffy about it. Instead of loving it or hating it, I'm just kind of... 'ehhh' about it (underneath the heartbreak, of course.) Like they could've done so much more with the ending. I hope, if they do listen to the fans and develop DLC's to "fix" the ending, it won't totally negate everything that happened in the end, but that it will give us a better sense of closure too. I felt like the scene after the credits tipped me into the "argggh not happy" category, to have it be so final I guess and out of my control, to really drive the nail home that this is how it ended with Shepard and now she/he's a legend etc...Argh.

In short, I need more closure for my Shepard! It can't end this way. Maybe I'm just in denial about losing Shep. I don't know. It's like I didn't have any control over it one way or the other. Fatalistic much Bioware?

Also, this game seems shorter than ME2. Wish it were longer!

Beyond that, I really enjoyed the game overall. Combat is superb, voice-acting great, graphics amazing. I want to start again in ME1 and play through ME2 and replay ME3 so that I can have an imported Shepard. I don't want my current imported Shep because the game thinks he's a female, since I modded my one and only finished ME1 playthrough so that I could cheat and romance Kaidan in ME1 lol. Ah well. I guess once I finish this new playthrough and if I'm not sick of the series yet.

I do believe I'm in denial... I just wish there was a more emotionally satisfying ending.

ME3 ending

2012-03-16T20:44:05Z

Regarding all the discontent about the ME3 ending, OF WHICH I HAVE NOT FINISHED SO NO SPOILERS PLEASE, did anyone actually like the ending? I hope that if Bioware does do something to appease fans that it will come later after people get to actually play and experience the game ending that was shipped, regardless if it is the intended ending or not.

I'll definitely be finishing the game this weekend. Can't wait!!

Mass Effect 3

2012-03-08T08:22:16Z

I feel like there are not enough CAPSLOCK in the world to express how much I am loving this game. It is so much better than I could ever have imagined. THANK YOU BIOWARE.

I was beyond giddy when I realized ME3 recognized my imported Shepard as MALE and having romanced KAIDAN in ME1. A big reason why I play this game is to get my Shep into Kaidan's pants, guys. THEN I realized holy cow, is Kaidan actually a viable LI for my male shep now??? YAY! I went into this totally spoiler free... so.. I'm still kind of freaking out at how awesome that is. NOW.

The first mission with Liara and Kaidan, at the end, how Kaidan was near-death and I literally yelled NO!! KAIDAN!! and made high-pitched distressed cries and flailed my hands about and I KID YOU NOT, STARTED CRYING, as I thought 'NONO no no no nooooo...they can't take you away from me Kaidan, not after I've just gotten you back!' and I cried and never EVER has a game ever made me cry. It was beyond phenomenal. I was astounded at how quickly I got sucked right back into the ME universe and how invested I was in the characters right out of the gate. That is a testament to the game developers and writers and actors, everyone on board.

Now can I just say, before I go to bed (well past my bedtime), how incredibly PERFECT and wonderful and 10000x better the voice acting is all around this time? How Mark Meer TOTALLY knocks it out the park for maleShep. I know Jennifer Hale is awesome, but my main Shep has always been maleShep so this, THIS is SO FANTASTIC. Mark Meer you rock. And Raphael Sbarge OHMYGOD I love you. SO MUCH.

Ahem. I'm done fangirling. For now.

me3

2012-02-09T21:43:41Z

Hubby preordered ME3 from gamestop online since eetail locations were no longer taking preorders for the CE. He paid extra for overnight shipping. Lets see if we ever get the game delivered, nevermind on time. If they slap me with a backordered status the day of release I will be so pissed, but not really surprised.

Persons Unknown, another brilliant but cancelled tv show

2012-01-29T07:55:15Z

Why are they always canceling the good shows?!!?

Persons Unknown on Netflix, watch it! Only 1 season, but it's really good, keeps you guessing, keeps you engaged, you start to care about all the characters, and it will definitely leave you thinking/talking about it after each episode. A fantastic psychological thriller that will have you talking. I wish there was more.