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EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM in New York (Fan Account) ー Final Thoughts

bhaniere — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 23:22:14 GMT

EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM
Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (7:30pm)
Newark, NJ

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERT ー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

FINAL THOUGHTS

My eyes are glazing over a bit at the thought of having to squeeze out yet more commentary about a concert that has already been analyzed to the death. I didn’t have as many feelings this year and my reaction to the concert has been quite grounded, well, at least relative to my psycho self from last year.

Firstly, to recap some thoughts about the concert logistics:

The attendance was pretty dismal. I'd say the venue was about 3/5 full and the pit was only 1/3 full. I don't know if the boys could tell how empty it actually was, but I hope they are not discouraged by this and that they come again :(

One benefit of having a smaller audience was that they didn't have to pause the concert to talk about safety. There were still empty seats in my section (the 6 seats in front of me were empty) and I think overall, everyone had the space they needed no matter where they were. People seemed at peace.

At first, the smaller crowd felt a little empty and cold, but over time, I could feel us coming together. We weren't are large or loud as last year, but we all tried so hard to make up for the difference and to create the same warm and excited atmosphere that they deserved. And there was extra appreciation between all of us for having actually come on a weekday night.

Ahh, now for MMT, my most favorite friend. Thankfully, I wasn't affected as much by MMT's incompetence compared to those who had decided on GA, but that doesn't mean I won't rant on their behalf.

Last year, MMT erred on the side of information overload. Fast turnaround with answers that weren't completely thought through that then led to backtracking which then created two streams of official information for people who didn't see the correction afterwards and just MASS CONFUSION EVERYWHERE. They did, however, have their shit together enough to offer online merch to purchase and then pick up the day of.

This year, it was the complete opposite problem. Maybe they were playing it safe and making sure everything was 14851795% confirmed before sharing it, but they left us in the dark for months after announcing the ticket sales date and didn't release anything about ticketing details until a week out(what time they would be released, the prices for each section, GA ticketing policy, etc.). The complete lack of information was incredibly frustrating, especially for those with GA--since they needed to figure out when to arrive and when to book hotels and transportation for depending on if FCFS or by ticket number. Deciding on all on such short notice is STRESSFUL. Even when they finally did release the information, there were no accurate venue price maps. MMT had their price breakdown by alphabetical sections, but Prud Center goes by numerical sections as does ticketing. I used last year's map to figure out what tickets to get, but can you imagine a first timer's?

(Personally, I thought GA worked fine when going by ticket number so why did they change it to FCFS?)

In terms of merchandise, there was no pre-order like last year, and they were silent about if there was going to be any merch until a week before the actual concert date. Is that a little too late, MMT? When they finally do share this, the much anticipated new lightstick is FCFS and the tent opened in the afternoon on concert day which pretty much prevented ANYONE with a good GA spot to get one. That's just fuckin stupid. This late notice also doesn’t help anyone who needed to save up money for things or would have rather gotten them online if the merch they wanted wasn't offered or was too expensive.

Maybe third time's the charm, since now they've been on both ends of the spectrum. Otherwise, EXO should find another North American partner. EXO deserves better, we deserve better.

Next, some observations on about the concert content.

My favorite stages were:

1. MAMA & Monster - loved how they arranged the opening and introduced the boys with so much strength and glory

2. Wolf Remix - music was so nicely remixed!, really impressive and creative graphics. I could actually listen to this version of Wolf on repeat (unlike the original)

3. Transformer Remix - choreography was AMAZING, so much hard work must have gone into it to maintain synchronicity, which is not their forte ahem. When I first heard the remix (audio-only), I thought it was too fast-paced, but paired with the choreography, it is juuuuuust right.

And some comments about each member, in no particular order:

DO - a silly little goober with his dorky laugh and his head bobbing, albeit so such a sophisticate for going to MOMA and Sleep No More while in New York

Sehun - didn't speak much at all, or ever but he has such a beautiful long, slinky body. (I hate objectifying bodies, but what can I do here??)

Chen - AMAZING vocals with some crazy high notes and his random aggressive shouts to hype us up I CANNOT HANDLE HIM

Baekhyun - being such a flirty twerp in the first half of the concert I MISS HIM SO MUCH

Chanyeol - gawd, his guitar skills are sexy

Xiumin - did not leave much of an impression other than always making me second guess myself when I think I'm looking at Baekhyun

Suho - his English is so good, and I will say this again that I LOVE his effort and appreciate his hard work so much. He's the only one who spoke complete (and lengthy!) English sentences. English is not easy and it speaks volumes to how much he cares for us and wants to communicate directly with his international fans.

Kai - he is such a beautiful dancer UGHHHH watching him dance is so therapeutic

Lay - he's absent again. I still have never seen him in the flesh (isn't that so weird? …at this rate, will I ever?) But the very few times that he did appear on screen, we screamed so hard

And now for the unscientific popularity contest purely based on screams from the first VCR from where I was standing:
(from most to least)
Kai - Chanyeol - Baekhyun - Sehun - DO - Lay - Suho - Xiumin - Chen

No large surprises this year, except that people LOVED DO.

I wish there were more ments or breaks where they could have come out to talk to us. I wanted to see their faces more. Even if they don't have any material to talk about, they could have played games--even rock, paper, scissors would have been fine. So many of their stages were all the way in the back…I guess because the extended platform was too narrow for some dance formations. My eyes and brain hurt from squinting and trying to guess which body shape belonged to whom.

And some thoughts on Baekhyun, the light and soul of my everything. I am so proud of him for all the dance breaks he got in this concert. He works SO HARD at it and I'm just happy that he can show this off to everyone. He's gotten so skinny though :( I like my baby 통통한 and I hope he eats happily

I also wanted to hear Baek's voice more. Stronger was the only time where we could clearly hear his voice in earnest. Once is not enough. ALWAYS NEEDS MORE BAEK VOICE. I won't ever not complain about this until he has a solo concert (and he will!).

And let's just talk about how incredibly stunning he is (how they all are). Every time the camera zoomed in on his face just UGH so pretty HOW CAN YOU BE SO BEAUTIFUL ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN

There were some crazy Baekhyun fans behind me screaming for him nearly nonstop through the concert and it was hilarious. I wish I had a megaphone voice like them and the courage to express this same undying love.

My seat was at a diagonal to Baekhyun's side in the Ment lineup. Though he moved around the stage a lot (moreso than last year), he stayed on my half of the stage slightly more often, like 51% of the time. Although I was on the "right" side, he focused primarily on those in the center and on the side pit and those who were seated in the immediate right of the stage. My section was considered a VERY good spot compared to other seated areas, but I still felt detached from the boys' efforts to engage the crowd. It was not until Angel that the members actually looked in our direction. I can't tell what it looks like from the stage, but I suppose from the bright lights, anything beyond the direct front, left and right is just complete darkness.

I saw some people with light up signs which made me really bitter because I was stupid and actually followed the rules (and now I checked in September 2017, for kicks, and that fucking regulation is gone LOL MY LIFE). And even if Kai or Suho did see my sign at the very end, it doesn't get telepathically get transmitted to Baekhyun so he still doesn't know that someone in this pitch black space is thinking of him and basically I tortured myself over this sign for absolutely nothing...other than being very good at punching holes into posterboard.

After surviving two concerts (X, don't laugh at my n00bness), from pre-concert ticketing shitshow to the post-concert emotional black hole, I think it's safe to say that I'm a lifer. That I'll keep going to these concerts for as long as I reasonably can.

For next year, I will be upping my signage game--maybe even make a light up head piece so that my hands aren't occupied the entire goddamn time. And I will be bringing and extra battery pack so that my phone won't die on me for the THIRD time and I'll miss another tlist meetup. I’m also thinking about what I should wear next concert--if I should just go all out for it. I stick out anyway in a sea of Exo Planet baseball jerseys and Growl-era shirts with my business casual outfits. Going to these concerts already means that I let go of my real identity and step into some alternative universe where in the anonimity of darkness, there is no such thing as judgement. Maybe I should make a paper dress completely covered in the word, "Baekhyun". Why not?

I'm not sure if I'll go for seated or standing next concert though. I am greedy and am always looking for a closer spot so that I can see faces clearly and make sure that the ass I'm ogling belongs to the right person. GA still sounds appealing to me, even if I come out haggard afterwards. Or perhaps, more ideally, getting a ticket in the first few rows in the immediate sections surrounding the stage--which is almost impossible. Nevertheless, I don't think I'd want to sit much further away from where I was this year.

Apart from the setlist itself being a little messy, I think another part of why I felt the concert was fast was that I was in a seat and wasn't fighting for survival every single minute. I could relax in my spot without wondering how many more seconds until the song ended so that I could get a break from standing on my tiptoes? How many more seconds before the VCR started so that I can let my neck rest and not have it craned at 120 degrees.

I don't have as many flowery and overwrought feelings as last year. I think because I've succumbed to the fact that I am nothing. If people closer to him, who speak his language and live in his same society cannot get any closer, then how in the world will I be able to make any sort of impact? I won't and I don't matter, not in the selfish way that I want it to.

I was bracing myself for the intense withdrawals. Last year, even weeks later, it felt like I was going through a bad breakup. Some days, my mind would just graze over the idea of the concert and that little contact would send me spiraling into this all-consuming emptiness. WHY did I let a concert do so much psychological damage to me?

This year, I didn't remember feeling much of anything during the concert and the weeks after. I waited and waited for that despair to hit, but it never did. The hole isn't as gaping and raw and bleeding red like last time, it's more like a bad bruise. The pain is a dull numb. I miss them of course, but it doesn't dig deep into me. I just miss them a lot like I miss a good, good friend.

I was disappointed in myself for feeling so little after seeing THE EXO, especially when I knew that last year I had reacted with such an outpour of emotions. Maybe it's because my entire mental capacity had been occupied during the concert with trying to figure out where the musical arc was going so that I could plant myself into it and be carried on the journey. So much so that it prevented me from having any semblance of feeling. Only my ticket, my streamer and my phone's contents are evidence that I was even there because my body remembers very little of it.

I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he was here. I can't believe any of it.

But this time, it's easy to let go.

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERT ー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

Word Count: 2206

Total Word Count: 18417 (34 pages) heh

EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM in New York (Fan Account) ー Setlist Analysis

bhaniere — Mon, 04 Sep 2017 05:00:11 GMT

EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM
Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (7:30pm)
Newark, NJ

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERT ー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

SETLIST ANALYSIS

Last year, I was blown away during the concert by how "right" everything felt. From the song selection to the break placements, it was as if they could read my mind. There was a storyline that I was being taken on with ups and downs. And even when I sat down to study the setlist, I could see a clear intent behind its construction--what they were building up to and letting us fall down from. There was balance and steady, forward-churning momentum.

I can't, however, say the same for this year. During the concert, I was confused or bored at times, and at others, completely maxed out. Things always felt a tiny bit off and I was never able to full engage and throw myself into it like with last year. The setlist structure is very similar to last year's--my guess is that they're using it as an easy way to replicate the success from EXO'luXion. There were some new songs added, but there wasn't a logical "why" they were placed at a certain spot other than it seemed like that they had a long list of new songs and ideas to incorporate and were just throwing things in there that kinda seemed like they fit to check off the boxes.

I did a similar energy prediction chart for this concert like last year, but instead of knitpicking over exact levels for each song, I thought about it more holistically by sections. I genuinely do not believe they thought about the energy at the song-level detail. At least, the concert flowed like they didn't care to this degree. (Maybe last year, they weren't as detailed last year, but it felt like it…or at least there was more logical connections between songs).

This, of course, is not a knock on the concert itself of the boys because they gave it their ALL and I am so glad I attended. But objectively speaking, from purely the setlist construction aspect, there is some room for improvement, at least compared to the masterpiece that is EXO'luXion, which is a high standard to live up to.

What EXO'rDIUM lacked in cohesion, it made up for with the flashiness--the lasers, the pyro, the graphics, the sex. This was definitely an upgraded and more expensive version of last year, but dialing up everything from before did not necessarily translate to an equally successful concert progression.

If the two concerts were friends you doing the Trust Fall with, where you fall backwards without looking, I would do it with last year's concert because I completely believe it in, but not with this year's. There was a special connection that was missing with this year's.

Last year's concert was like slow and gentle sex. Steady and easy going with high and lows and afterwards, you can remember how you felt through. There is time to digest and to react and you're left feeling warm and full in safe arms. This year's is like rough and angry sex. It's raging and intense but in a flash, it's over and you can't really recall anything that happened during it other than that it was so, so good. You're left tired, confused, and a little empty inside.

A BIG disclaimer to all the above is that last year was my first EXO concert, so walking in with zero expectations as compared to this year with a monster of one, probably did not help EXO'rDIUM's case in the slightest.

Like last year, I see the setlist in sections. Compared to last year, where there is a more obvious build up to a mini-climax in each section, this year's seemed more homogenous. Meaning for each section, they wanted to adhere to a certain theme throughout, so songs of a similar flavor were put together. Although this can make sense on paper, when listening to it as an audience member, it can feel a bit monotone and flat…unless that's what they were going for and were relying on special effects to spice things up.

Below is a plot of the Expected and Actual energy levels. The Expected energy level is what I imagine the team would have intended the audience to be feeling at a certain point in the concert (10 is the highest). The Actual is just my personal experience, which is nowhere representative of the actual venue, as I can be affected by personal bias towards songs, my mood at times, etc. Basically, this entire thing is bullshit, but putting it together is fun, even if all under completely false pretenses.

The main point of the chart is to show that the Expected levels generally fluctuated around the 6-8 range, whilst the Actual was very volatile and didn't follow the Expected too closely. From the numbers, I should have felt a more steady concert, but I didn't actually, seeing as how I rose and crashed every two to three songs.

These are the sections that I saw in the setlist and how I will be breaking down the review:

Section 1: Powerhouse Opening
section 2: Strip Club
section 3: Acoustic
section 4: Happy, Audience Interaction
section 5: Harder, More Energetic Music
section 6: Dance Party/Rave
section 7: EXO Highlights
Section 8: Closing

Because the setlist structure is similar to last year, I will not be going into detail about the overarching storyline of the concert (building up to the dance party peak before following through and then slowly letting down). Despite my best efforts to find a logical explanation for the placement of many of the new songs in the setlist, I just couldn't. So rather than an analysis, this will be more of a critique.

Section 1: Opening VCR - Wolf

The opening of this concert is SPECTACULAR. I loved it. It had so much impact and pizazz. This opening set was much stronger than last year's.

I really enjoyed the VCR with the comics and it felt so heroic and all that momentum was able to be built up and released in an open and liberating MAMA track. In a cute, nostalgic but not actually the reason kind of way, opening with their first title track was like a "look where we came from" moment. The loud chanting of "MAMA" helped to fuel our excitement into building this really epic atmosphere that captured the momentous occasion because face it, seeing EXO live like this is a BIG DEAL and warrants this kind of entrance.

This power and energy transitions well into Monster with the same type of feel, same darkness, and relies on the newness of the song to maintain and build on energy level. Everyone could engage since the song and lyrics were still in our recent memory. Monster ends in a more lyrical way and it leads well into Wolf.

The remix is amazing, along with the beautiful graphics and creative animation. It has the same percussive but lyricism of Monster. All three songs in the section have the same color of grunge, metal, blood.

The opening was so strong and in retrospect, I wonder if they played all their cards too early. I didn't feel that same tightness of song selection for the rest of the concert. The strong first impression led the audience (or at least me) to believe that this was only the beginning of a masterfully assembled concert setlist, but that wasn't the case. I wonder if instead, they should have ended after the first two songs, or taken out Monster (which would have been useful later) and substituted another song, like Overdose instead. (I'll talk about Overdose later since it's in another section.)

Section 2: Ment - Artificial Love

The Ment here was a good way to give the audience a break from the intense beginning (other than the obvious, which is a chance for the boys to say hi).

This section was build off the energy from before and to help us settle in a bit at a moderate but high energy level. Personally, I run out of 100% pure attention by the 3rd song.

These come down to tastes, so maybe if you really enjoy the music and you wouldn't find this section slightly long. White Noise had good momentum going in, but by the time Playboy finished, this section felt a little flat. It was all the same type of music and a little too much of the same slow, syrupy type of music. Instead of riding off the energy of the music, they were using sex appeal to propel us through this section.

Thunder felt like an oddball out of the four songs since it was a different genre and lacked the trademark choreography. For me, Thunder as the second song sapped a lot of my energy so I found myself a bit tired by Artificial Love. If it had been three songs--White Noise, Playboy, and Artificial Love--I think the energy would have been a lot more powerful throughout.

Section 3: VCR - Acoustic Section - Stronger

This section was to let everyone rest, which was a smart move because I was getting exhausted from the incessant screaming before. WOO this section was a doozy and the first time I really felt the concert start to drag and things to feel a little disorganized and it were getting a little different from last year's.

I'm not clear the exact time length of the acoustic section, but it felt so incredibly long to me. Even though each song was not that long (30sec - 60 sec), every new track, at least for me, requires my full and complete attention so that I can search my brain for the right tunes and lyrics and who has what lines and what special parts to look out for. It doesn't matter how long the song is, I still have to do the same procedure. So after having to do that for six songs, it gets exhausting. It's like driving on a road where the speed limit is constantly changing…my brain wanted a break.

The tone of the song, except for Call Me Baby, all had a similar easy going tempo, which makes for nice acoustic music but after so many back to back, it felt repetitive.

I also think Call Me Baby was sacrificed by putting it right in the acoustic section. It's interesting to hear a song like that in a new way, especially when ordinarily it's very more upbeat. But this is a TITLE track and it has such a great choreography. I think it's a bit regrettable to lose all of that to condense it into an acoustic version. And even if they did incorporate CMB into it, it would have been better to put it in the beginning or end when the energy could be used to build off or to finish off a section in excitement. Instead, it was in the middle where the energy levels were already a little dampened from before. It was a nice surprise to hear it, but that energy was lost soon after and dampened by the slow tempo of the following pieces again.

The acoustic section was a creative mechanism to let the boys rest and show something different, but I think it ran a bit long. They could have cut it off after a few songs (that each could have been performed longer) and then did the remaining songs in the section OR just had a break between the acoustic and the remaining songs. Additionally, after a few songs, that could have stood or walked around to keep the stage from getting too static. (But maybe this is the charm of a sincere date night guitar acoustic serenade and I just don't get it…I was getting antsy!!)

I wanted to pause and get a breath in after what I thought was the end of Acoustic, but no, I was shoved back into the water again because Lady Luck transitioned into a dance piece that flowed into three more songs and I thought my brain was going to drown.

I also have NO IDEA why Tender Love and Love Me Right were next other than being on the same album. They have the opposite tone to the previous slower, angsty songs and logically, there would have been some kind of break here (like a VCR or just 10-15 seconds of darkness).

Is Tender Love truly necessary in this setlist though, since it's already in a VCR (if their concern was making sure this song was heard at this concert)?

Love Me Right is just a power song that can "revive" the audience and it's a shame it was placed here and the effect was lost because people were so tired and were just sputtering on empty at this point. This fell to deaf eyes and like Call Me Baby. If EXO had a good enough line up afterwards these songs, they could have afford these as "throwaways" but I think at least one of these was needed towards the end of the concert. They are easy songs that if used properly, can engage the audience instantly and serve as booster packs to the concert energy.

For Stronger, I can understand keeping in this section because it has the same feeling, but this section was already entirely too long and to put it after two faster songs?

Section 4: VCR - 3.6.5

This was going for some audience interaction, which was much needed to lift the mood again after slaving through the previous section. I enjoyed this section overall (Heaven, Girl x Friend, 3.6.5) and the energy was good. Something like Love Me Right or Call Me Baby would have been good in this section, since it didn't have any title tracks and would have served as a good catalyst to get energy going again.

Also not sure why VCR played "Do it Together" when it was performed later on.

Section 5: VCR - Lightsaber

The happier previous section led to this harder edgier one. It was as way to increase excitement and to ramp up the noise level for the rave in the next section.

I understand why they grouped these songs together but aurally, it was VERY loud (or maybe it was just this particular venue).

Overdose, though a great song, was overshadowed by the choreography and strong beat of Transformer, and didn't get the full attention it deserved. I think Monster would have done better here, as it can hold its own against the other two strong songs. Also, Overdose had a little psychotic feel (lol) to the music where as Lightsaber and Transformer have a more march-y, heavy bass, badass feel to the music, which Monster also shares. (Overdose has a softer percussion?? Idk)

Likewise, Overdose would have survived in the opening section since it's all about hit songs to crank up the energy. Putting Monster later would also have kept the audience on their toes for longer, waiting for when they're finally going to get to hear it. (I didn't look at the setlist before the concert so I was really surprised that Monster was performed so early and I remember being a little disappointed, like they just ruined the surprise, because I don't have all the much to look forward to anymore.)

Section 6: Ment - Run

This is the peak of the concert, the rave/party section.

If this is your first concert, this is a great section that's beautifully put together, but as a repeat customer, it's a little disappointing that they recycled this part almost completely. I understand that you don't want to fix something that's not broken.

They added "Lucky" into the middle of this section (not sure why, since it's already featured in a VCR, which is the same issue as Tender Love and Do It Together). Lucky has a completely different feel than the other dance party/ravy songs, so it felt a little random to have this here and it ended up putting a brake on some of the energy buildup, which I don't think was their intent.

Even without Lucky, I think it was one song too long and the final burst of energy felt a little messy because some people had peaked and crashed before the climax song, Run.

I think they could have done without Full Moon or kept all the songs but remixed them into a shortened version.

The special effects were great, but setlist was, it was a little …lazy.

Section 7: VCR - Lucky One

I know I'm not here to discuss the content of the VCR but I just want to say that it this one was weird as hell.

This section contained two hits -- Growl Remixed and Lucky One, but I am little confused as to why they were put back to back because the genres so different. A cushion song between the two would have been good--like Unfair, a mild bop. Or even Lotto (WHERE HAS IT BEEN??).

Just wanted to say that Lucky One is such a great concert song, like Love Me Right. Popular and a little funky and easily gets everyone going.

Section 8: Ment - Angel

After the excitement following the Ment, Angel was used to slow the heart down to the resting bpm and to let everything simmer down. The energy was still high after the final Ment and I think it would have made for a softer landing if there were two songs instead of one, so that the fans could have more time to process the goodbye and spend more time crying and waving at them before they left FOREVER

A song like Don't Go, for example, and then Angel.

No comments on Angel specifically other than I LOVE IT TO DEATH thank you for finally performing this TT

I've considered making my own ideal setlist but then there are so many moving pieces that if I move one song, that means I'll have to move other songs and it's a domino effect and there are just SO many options of what song to choose and to put where that I've decided to forgo it for now unless I want to delay posting for another few months which NO. That said, I wanted to note some songs that I was robbed of in this setlist:

Lotto -- HELLO?????? WHY WAS THIS NOT IN THE SETLIST? ISN'T THIS A TITLE TRACK? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Doesn't everyone want Lipstick Chateau Wine-bit Color?

Can't Bring Me Down -- Such a good song but NO ONE talks about

What If

They Never Know

Don't Go

Peter Pan -- ok, maybe I'm just want some baby XOXO

I'm not done yet! Because there's been so much comparison of this concert against last year's I made a chart below to try to organize the concert flow. For each concert, it plots the projected energy level and marks the beginning points of the setlist sections.

The diagram is complicated and lot of information (and needs a better format) but you can largely see that the format is the same between the two. From a sample size of 2 concerts, below is the general template.

Flashy Opening VCR

Epic Opening of Hit Songs

Ment

Dark/Sexy or Slowdown

Ballad

VCR - 2nd POV

Dark/Sexy or Slowdown

VCR - Elfs

Audience Bop

Album Special - specific to the album/time period they're trying to promote

Ment

Dance Party

VCR - Superpowers

Highlights - other EXO top hits

Farewell Ment

Ending Song

What's surprising is that sections above occur at nearly the same point setlist order-wise, but the feeling from the two concerts is so different!

An important difference is that in EXO'luXion, there were more breaks scheduled, whether it be Ments or VCRs or just plain fading to blank for a minute. It allowed the audience to recharge and pace themselves, which in turn helped the concert feel more organized. EXO'rDIUM lacked some of these breaks which muddled song motifs and at times, felt a bit long and out of control, like a runaway Katamari Damacy ball.

Song selection wise, there was a larger range of energy level designed into last year's setlist. This year, it seemed to go more for a similar energy level throughout each section than over purposeful fluctuations.

EXO'luXion also benefited from having a longer farewell section. There was a separate VCR for Promise which was followed by two slower songs. This year, the sadder song was Sing for You but it was in the same VCR about superpowers and there was only one slower song after their ending ment. Having these additional songs last year, along with starting the farewell song before the actual ment, helped ease the audience into the close. It gave the fans time to reconcile everything in their minds and souls, so that when it was time to say goodbye, we were ready to let go. This year, the concert was going hard and high energy up until the ending ment when suddenly, it was announced that things were coming to a close and we were only given one song to return to reality.

Concept-wise, there were two different philosophies behind planning the two concerts. EXO'luXion was a concert about showing breadth and evolution of a team and thus, there was more focus on cohesion between pieces and the effect of the larger picture. EXO'rDIUM was a concert that was more of a showcase of specialties and individual skill of not only the members but the larger creative team as well. Different stages displayed the growth and maturity in vocals, choreography, graphics, and special effects. A talent show is not something that by nature flows smoothly between acts and that is the same reason this concert suffers a bit in that aspect, but the spectacularity of individual performances stick with you.

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERTー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

Word Count: 3680

EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM in New York (Fan Account) ー Concert

bhaniere — Tue, 29 Aug 2017 02:16:20 GMT

EXO PLANET #3: The EXO'rDIUM
Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (7:30pm)
Newark, NJ

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERT ー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

CONCERT

Recapping this means that I am rewatching my concert vids and cams from others and trying to coherently live commentate this. It’s as if I’m at the concert again.

I started out relying mostly on my personal vids (it’s been FOUR months since the concert), but nearly all of them have my cringeworthy singing in the background. I should never sing again…much less in “Korean”...couldn’t even listen to the audio of some of these performances without wanting to die ten times over, so I relied on concert vids from others (props to you guys have having a stable shot and not being loud and embarrassing).

Opening VCR

I also wondered if we were allowed to stand even though I had a seated ticket. Idk how touchy people would be. How lame would it be if we sat during “Run”?!?! But, I didn’t want to be the asshole to stand and block everyone’s view. This all proved to be a moot point because as soon as the first millisecond of VCR played, we all sprang up from our seats and didn’t sit down for the rest of the concert (save for some VCRs).

I don’t remember much of the storyline (which has the signature crackastic EXO style of leaving you with more questions than answers) of the VCR other as I was busy screaming internally. OH MY GOD THIS IS IT. THIS IS REALLY THE EXO CONCERT. THEY’RE REALLY HERE. BEHIND THAT SCREEN. THE CONCERT ACTUALLY STARTED. WHAT WHAT WHAT.”

And all the dialogue about truth and lies and people fighting because they believe in different truths. I couldn’t help but snicker at how applicable it is to today's political climate (--so many of us are under the mercy of leaders with more than a few loose screws). It probably wasn’t an intentional jab, but EVERYTHING has become ironic nowadays because we’re all bitter sarcastic FUCKS and survival has required a permanent suspension of disbelief.

Also, the VCR asserting how EXO had been part of history by cherrypicking the letters 'E-X-O', each from random sources, is hilarious and people were laughing around me because slow clap, SM, you really tried. If only proving things irl were this easy.

Now onto the part where the members show up with superpowers. And they've become comics. I really loved the graphics there. And the heroic music. Just very well done overall.

Let me break here to spazz about some specific scenes, though I pretty much screamed bloody murder when each member showed up. Sigh, they're so all so dreamy and beautiful.

BAEKHYUN WAS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! with the light appearing in his hand and bouncing off his glorious features. I LOVE YOU BAEKHYUN. YOUR FUCKING EARS ARE SO CUTE.

Sehun’s part reminds me so much of “Christina's World” by Andrew Wyeth (or the movie, “Twister”). Lay, of something you’d see in a movie based on the Vietnam War. Chanyeol reminds me of styling for a spread for Beyonce or Tyra Banks-—a very beach supermodel vavavoom goddessy feel.

(I could have done without the creepy robot baby narration. Where is Morgan Freeman when you need him?)

And then the epic operatic buildup with all of them in their MAMA cloaks (YESSSSSS). I was so hyped up at this point, I thought I was going to explode from excitement overload. And then they transition into MAMA and AHHHHHHHHHH YESSSS AMAZING AMAZINGGGGG HERE IT COMES!!!!

MAMA (Remix)

It's pitch black and I can see the stage doors open but I can’t see anything in that opening but everyone KNOWS that they're there and the energy is electric and everyone's screaming off the top of their lungs because the boys are standing there!! Even though we can't see them we KNOW they're there. We can feel their presence.

The music is slowly, slowly, slowly building up with the guitar rift and I’m just waiting for the beat to drop for their glorious entrance, and the anticipation feels like a suffocating high. The lights come on and the first verse plays and through the flashes of light on stage, I can see the silhouettes of them perched there and the venue explodes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

And then they drop the next lines, still with only flashes and music, teasing us still with their silhouettes.

By the third set of lines, the stage lights up and they just dance to a badass beat complete with lasers and powerhouse vocals. It's so flashy and loud and powerful and I'm just stunned that they're even moving in front of me and I want them to slow down because I can't even find Baekhyun at first because he has the same haircut and color as Xiumin. Eventually, I think I do find him, but never completely sure because they move so quickly and before I can figure out what's going on, they've finished!

The opening is so strong and aggressive like they’re kings of the world and they know it. Like charged, crazed bulls, they shoot out at us and completely owned the stage.

Monster (Remix)

Before I can catch my breath and reorient myself to the spectacle of the MAMA opening, they've started on Monster. I WAS NOT READY FOR BYUN SOLO JUST YET. HOLD ON I’M STILL TRYING TO PROCESS MAMA

Not to be out done, we roared back at EXO, screaming the entire time and doing the fanchants, complete with random bursts of people screaming their lungs out (when they really couldn’t contain themselves). The energy was crazy and it felt like we were going to fly off our seats. I bet a lot of it was because it was a recent song that everyone knew. (I mean other than the fact that it’s complete sexy and divine Baekhyun has a dance break.)

We went nuts for the Byun solo and it made my soft little Baekhyun heart all warm hearing all the support. I could hear faint echoes of BYUN BAEKHYUN (from the pit?) but no one really near me was actively chanting, so I started shouting BYUN BAEKHYUN by myself. I will admit it was kinda scary because I stuck out amidst a seat of unintelligible noise, but I love him with every fiber of my being so it did it and somehow swayed my Xiumin seatmate to join me. We definitely weren’t loud enough to get beyond a few rows, much less to him, but yes, I love her for joining me. (I didn't even know she did this, and only realized this after it was caught in my video recording :'))

(My vid of this is terrible especially during the Byun solo because I was maxing out my fangirling so the video is a shrill blurry mess, so pretty much the part that I would want to rewatch again and again is the most unwatchable part.)

I can't believe I saw him dancing in front of me. Ugh my god, seeing him perform like this is just surreal. His aura is dominating and his moves are captivating and slinky but sharp. Even watching it back gets me giddy. Still can't believe I saw this with my own two eyes. JUST SO SO EXCITING AND EVERYTHING I EXPECTED AND MORE (well, that's a lie, I would have hoped that he had stripped).

늑대와 미녀 (Wolf) (Remix)

There was barely a break but as soon as Wolf tree was displayed you know everyone was gearing up for the sacred word, "CHOGIWA!!", It echoed so loudly through the venue and was probably the most in unison the fans were for the entire concert. It's hilarious that everyone's in on the joke. The first verse fanchants were really tight and pretty loud.

Fuck, I was all around so impressed with this stage. The song remix, the set, the graphics--all just beautiful. Especially the solo break with the floating shadows and silhouette dancing. So creative and brilliant. Props to whoever thought of it.

And then Chen and Baekhyun's duet of haunting and cathartic lines, especially Baekhyun's "I got you~" line. Fuck, HIS EYES. He's a pro with camera eye contact, so he looking into our souls from the screen. YES BAEKHYUN YOU'VE GOT ME THROUGH AND THROUGH FOREVER AND ALWAYS

After the song ended, I could still hear Kai's heavy breathing through his mic. Random info. But it was hot.

And then the lights finally went dark for more than 5 seconds and thank the LAWWWD because I needed a break to catch my breath and regather myself.

Ment

When the lights were on, we finally saw them coming out in their black getup for their next stage.

Suho kicks off the ment and bless him now and throughout the concert. I love his English. I love him so much for learning so much English. He is just so, so lovely.

Chanyeol starts talking and the translator speaks for the first time and it's THE SAME FUCKING ONE FROM LAST YEAR!! The same one with the "YOU ROCKKK!" incident. I'm already shitting on her and we're barely into this concert but with hindsight, she was no better than last year. She had a vocabulary of maybe 30 English words, as if it was read off of Google Translate. I know this is not an easy job, but there are way better translators out there (for ex, LA concert). The Korean the boys used really wasn't that complicated and in many instances the audience was able to understand and respond to their Korean before the translator even had the chance to interpret.

DO asks us if we're ready and we cheer in response and he says "me too" and then we laugh because "??? That makes no sense" and then he chuckles heartily and then we all laugh at his laugh. Just a lot of shy giggling between him and us. He ends off with a mysterious "Showtime!". (Showtime Count: 1)

We're blindly cheering at everything they say and I'm not really listening to Kai, just staring at his face in the big monitor because FUCK he's so beautiful, handmade by God special-delivery-to-this-earth.

It’s Chen’s turn now and the translator says, “Thank you for all your love tonight. I'm so UM- grateful". We are laughing HARD at her “um”, but I’m not sure if he knows we’re laughing at her and not him. He ends his intro with a reminder for us to be safe. I crossed my fingers that everyone in the pit would behave today because I do not want to be reminded constantly of that, like last year, which was a total mood spoiler. In retrospect, one good thing that did come out of low attendance this year was that there was much less pushing and shoving. I think most people had enough breathing space and could exist comfortably in GA. Thank god, they didn’t have to call us out on that again for the rest of the concert.

Xiumin also warns us to be safe and the translator turns it into "DON'T be safe and read all the rules" GURL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. We were laughing at her and not him AGAIN. He ends his talk with a "It's Showtime!" shout and hand pose (Showtime Count: 2).

BAEKHYUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YOU MOTHER FUCKER He doesn't even introduce himself like everyone before, but starts with a “WHAT'S UPPPPPPP” and then says with flair, "My name is BAEKHYUN" and he has this confident, snarky attitude for the rest of the talk and :( I WANT TO PUNCH HIS LOVELY SMUG FACE AND THEN KISS IT ALL OVER

Sehun asks in Korean if we missed him and we cheer and he doesn’t even wait for the translator before he asks “Really?” and we’re screaming again and I can barely hear the translator but it’s not like anyone is actually listening to her anymore. Although the translator ended up converting his questions into statements, like, “I missed you. I really did”, but there were inflections at the end of his sentences so they were questions. COME ON, WOMANNNN (I’m really out to get her, aren’t I?)

Suho, his English is JUST BEAUTIFUL. I can't imagine how much work he put into it, and it's so amazing that he's able to say so much without the translator and even with some advanced words. :') What an angel. All his effort is just so endearing. He also ends his segment with "It's Showtime!". (Showtime Count: 3)

(Writing this in late August) I suspect the “Showtime”s were them dropping hints for their EXO North American tour documentary. At the time, I was thinking there would be a Season 2 of EXO Showtime but unfortunately, that was not the case.

백색소음 (White Noise)

JFC I was not ready for this. We didn't have the water effects, but instead a rainfall backdrop. It was still a sexy atmosphere with the cool blue light against all their silhouettes. FUCKKK THIS ENTIRE SET. There's not much to report to here other than me just watching them in awe at how smooth their moves were and trying hard to contain all the no-no thoughts coursing through me.

Thunder

Haven't heard this in so long! Throwback time to Overdose era. This song was not as intense as the previous ones, so I could finally relax my senses for a bit.

Playboy

Yes, another throwback. I was shamelessly ogling Baekhyun the entire time (tbh when was I not). And I approve so much of the outfits with the tight black pants. Baek has got a sleek pair of legs on him. Those yummy, juicy thighs. He partnered with Xiumin AND YES EXACTLY WHAT I NEED. AS IF IT WASN'T ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO FIND BAEK BY HIMSELF, NOW HE HAS TO BE PAIRED WITH HIS DOPPELGANGER

AREN'T THEY TWINS?!?! ESP AT A DISTANCE?!?

Artificial Love

Ah, yes, the climax of the strip club section. The stage suddenly felt more heated and sensual with vibrant magenta lights shining through otherwise complete darkness. Even the air felt different.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEM JUST GRINDING ON THEM CANES. BAEKHYUN IS SO HOT FUCKKKKK. FUCK ME BAEKHYUN FUCK ME I'm not going to pretend like I have any coherent thoughts to document here. Just wanted to get into their pants the whole time. I will spare you the details of my sexually deprived but biologically fertile horndog self, but every time he rolled his body and glided his hands across himself, in a slow, smooth but purposeful way...BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The boys were FILTHY though. Hahaha I really feel bad for the kids with parental chaperones because the adults are wondering what the fuck is happening in front of their eyes and if this is really what their kid is into these days and if that is a reflection of themselves and whether they should be pleased or ashamed. It turned from angsty teenage music and nosedived into 18+ real quick.

I recorded this part and zoomed in on Baekhyun the entire time. But I ended up being a screaming, shaking mess every time he rolled his hips against the cane, so the video cannot be watched without getting a headache. I gave in to instant gratification and actually enjoyed the moment, but now I can’t watch him fuck a stick on demand and that is upsetting :(((((((

Baekhyun cane-danced with Kai YESSSSSS KaiBaek is so beautiful :'(

The energy was so crazy savage high in this section—we were all creaming our pants.

Kai Blindfold dance

This act was not something I had expected nor ever heard about. I'm not a dancer, but it must feel so weird to dance without seeing and go all by feel. Watching him dance is always such a pleasure. I knew blindfolds were sexy but damn he took it to a whole ‘nother level. He's so pretty :(

VCR

I laugh at this VCR and the following acoustic section because it's a total 180 from the previous, and I felt like I got whiplash from the mood change, like the boys before and after the VCR are actually two different groups. This was so cute to be lead through from the second person pov. The "girl's" fingers look like Lay's though. Baekhyun is so cute with his flashlight and his adorable face. Wouldn't it be so amazing to have friends like them TT

The BGM was so jammy and my seatmate and I bopped to it the whole way through.

~~Unfair~~

Apparently there was also a performance of "Unfair" in the setlist?? Um we didn't get it…rUDE

Because the Prud Center stage was too fucking small for the set?? They brought the set overseas because Mexico and LA got it. SO FUCKING RUDE. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. It was the ending song for last year's concert, so it has a special place in my heart. WHATTTTT THE FUCKKKKKKK YOU START THE CONCERT LATE AND AXE A GREAT SONG, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR WITH EL DORADO SO FUCKING RUDE MY PEOPLE, sO fUcKiNg RuDe

My Lady (Acoustic Medley)

Suho's English is so cute introducing this acoustic section. Chanyeol strums some initial chords on his guitar, and it's sexy. Ven aqui papi~

The song starts and Kyungsoo's smoooooth voice is like velvet and so good.

My Turn to Cry (Acoustic Medley)

This was part was so soft and I'm a little sad that Baekhyun didn't sing his beautiful adlib that's at the end of the song. It was so pretty and calm but people kept screaming randomly and it completely ruined the mood but it was funny because SAME BOYS&GIRLS SAME I just don't have courage.

월광 (Moonlight) (Acoustic Medley)

This was one of my favorite acoustic parts. It was so nice that the camera zoomed in on all their faces as they sang. God, they're all so beautiful.

Call Me Baby (Acoustic Medley)

Hearing the slowed down, instrumental version of this was so interesting and it helped bring up the energy in this section. It's too bad that they didn't put this elsewhere and dance to it live. The medley was starting to feel a bit draggy and (dare I say) boring, and this piece gave it a much-needed boost.

Love, Love, Love (Acoustic Medley)

The song started out just fine with Baekhyun but then the hijinks began…

Kai forgot he was after Baekhyun and missed his entrance, and then scrambled to finish his part when he realized there was an awkward silence. After Kai is Chanyeol, but Chanyeol didn't have a mic because he's on guitar and DO, beside him, was supposed to hold it up to him. But I guess DO was distracted by all the laughter surrounding Kai, who was sitting on the other side him, so we couldn't hear Chanyeol either and by the time DO realized and held the mic up, he only had a few words left. This song was a lost cause but EVERYONE was cracking up.

(…and shit, I never realized my charmed fangirl giggle was so ugly).

유성우 (Lady Luck) (Acoustic Medley)

Before the song even started, Kai stood up dramatically and I screamed because KAI and then Sehun joined him on stage and I screamed some more. I don't remember too much from this stage in particular because there was so much going on. Between watching Kai, watching Sehun, listening to everyone's voices, and keeping an eye out for Baekhyun at all times…I don't have enough eyeballs or brain capacity for that!!

Next, the boys stood up to dance. Baekhyun and Xiumin are standing beside each other on my side of the stage in their formation.

Their uniforms were white shirts and white form-fitted pants. As they moved, I stared at Baekhyun's ass and admired his thighs the whole time. I wasn't even listening to the song, only shameless body ogling. And then at the end, when he had stopped dancing, I allowed my eyes to drift upwards again to his face. And his shirt had a "99" and not "04". FUCK I've been staring at Xiumin's ass the whole time. Apart from obvious embarrassment (pshh and to call myself a fan), I wanted to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness because I pretty much just eye fucked my seatmate's hubby.

Tender Love

It took me a bit to realize that they were doing their light stick dance, and I think I finally got the hang of 80% of it by the end. WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MANY DIRECTIONAL CHANGES. This was the first time the boys were looking out into the audience for interaction, so I tried doing the dance whilst holding up my sign (for the very first time this concert). The sign didn't seem big when I was sitting down and resting it on my lap but LMAO if felt enormous when I had to hold it up with one hand and tried to bounce it to the rhythm to try to get Baekhyun's attention like the desperate ho that I am. And with my other hand, I was waving my light stick and god, I fucking hated myself. My arms were so sore and I was just waiting for the people behind me to complain that I was blocking their view.

look at this civilized pit with plenty of space to live in peace

Love Me Right

The crowd really came together for this one, all hyped up from Tender Love. I think we were all waiting for a familiar hit to release our pent-up energy. I couldn’t see Baek well enough, but I'm sure he was jammin out. It so loud and everyone was SO. PUMPED. UP!!!...

Stronger

…only for that energy to be completely overwhelming for a song like Stronger. People, me included, randomly screamed throughout, pretty much destroying what could have been a sincere, warming, swaying serenade. There was an equally fanatic Baekhyun fan behind me screaming "BAEKHYUNNNNNN WOOOOOO" which gave some comic relief for our section. My seatmate turned to me as if to check if I was the owner of that brave, brave voice. No, unfortunately not.

Thank you, Baekhyun, for FINALLY standing at my corner of the stage, where he's closest to me.

On a more serious note, Suho did a great job with his parts compared to the official vocal line.

MY OWN VIDEO FOR THIS IS THE WORST EVER. Not only am I passionately out of tune, but I'm speaking some kind of bastardized Korean gibberish and fuck it's so embarrassing FUCKKKKKK. I'm taking this one with me to the grave.

VCR (Lucky)

This was so cuuuuutte oh my fucking god. Also getting whiplash in this section verses the previous where the tone was more mature and now suddenly they're 10 years younger.

Baekhyun is the cutest. They are all the cutest. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It was so silly.

Xiumin and Baekhyun were in the same trio, so they appeared at the same time and my seatmate built off each other for energy and mega screams. WE WERE SO CUTE

There were extra loud cheers when Lay appeared on screen.

And then towards the end of the VCR, it zoomed out it was this young blonde boy listening to his phone and I laughed because WTF? (Why were there only Caucasian actors in all of these VCRs??) I totally thought it was going to be an Asian girl with perfectly curled bangs.

Heaven

Apart from the distracting 3D heads in the background, the performance itself was really nice. It really got everyone going with the more comfortable tempo. We got really excited because they made a rare trip out into the stage and we were THIRSTING for some interaction and a chance to see them closer.

Girl x Friend

Baekhyun was facing in my section and he was doing his baby grandpa dance moves. YESSSSss shake that cute little booty TTTTT he is so adorable. I wish I could protect him forever.

3.6.5.

Maybe I am getting old, but I was running out of energy by this point from being at MAX LEVEL since "Love Me Right" and everything was just SO. LOUD. I wanted a break jfc lemme sit down without feeling like I'm missing out on the party and I kinda just gave up and disengaged. Throwback to XOXO though…they've come so far :'). How do the boys keep up this energy OMGAH.

Chen rips out a mega loud and random "NEWWWW YYAWWWWWKKKKKKKK" before the last verse. WTF but it's hilarious.

VCR (Tender Love + BeatBurger Remix)

This VCR shows the boys fooling around and brings through their changing and waiting rooms. Why did they play Tender Love as BGM again? They already performed it though…? Baekhyun cutie jumps to give a kiss into the camera for his segment.

In retrospect, the transition and usage of Do It Together is a bit confusing since we end up rehashing the full song again after a few songs. During that time, I remember being impressed by the rapping and dancing. I think it was the first time where Chanyeol's rapping or Sehun's dancing were showcased earnestly and I could appreciate it.

Overdose

OVERDOSEEEEEEE. This was the opening song of last year's concert, and I have many feelings and memories attached to those beginning minutes, so it is an extra special song to me (apart from being just a GREAT song in and of itself).

Song placement wise, it felt a bit odd because my brain didn't absorb any of music from the VCR and I was still on the bippity-boppity songs from before. But regardless, I was ready for a familiar song to pull me back into the concert hype again.

All the hip thrusting though…I forgot about that YESSSSSSSS looks even better this year, my beautiful boys.

Seeing them perform this this year felt different than last. It felt like they were men and they exuded a new confidence and strength. (I probably said this last year too but only because my babies are always growing…don't up so quickly!!! I want you all pocket-sized :( ).

The crowd all come together at Chanyeol's rap and Sehun's "Hey Doctor" part. There were so many lights flashing everywhere though. I thought…I thought…I thought I was going to have a seizure.

Transformer

I WENT NUTSSSSS at this song probably only 2nd to Baekhyun's Monster solo. It's one of my fav EXO songs and is soooooooooo underrated and forgotten from their discography. (I was HELLA disappointed that this wasn't in the setlist last year, so I'm glad they redeemed themselves this time.) The remixed song was AMAZING and performance blew my mind. The dance was so creative and beautiful orchestrated and synchronized and I LOVED ALL THE ENERGY. The whole aura around it. The uniformity was UGHHHH YESSSSSSSS got all my hormones going

I also freaked out at the dance solo part because I thought it was Baekhyun and I was screaming with everything in my soul, but it turned out to be Xiumin lol

In the second half of the song, they walked out towards the front of the stage. The ass twirling in those tight black pants YESSSS BOYYYYY work it

Then, idk what happened but Baek suddenly stopped walking and bent over in the middle of the stage with his hands on his thighs. I fell silent and watched in concern. The performance was still going and people were still singing and dancing, but I didn't register any of it. Thankfully, he had no lines, or else it might have brought more attention. After a few minutes, he stood up like normal and continued with the last verse of the song.

My phone was still recording this bit but I was so apprehensive about it because what if something terrible happened to him? It would feel so wrong to have this on my phone.

After the concert, I saw people saying on Twitter that his earpiece was broken, but it looked so much like he was in pain. His members didn't blink an eye at him then and no one approached him, so I assume it wasn't anything health-related?? It destroyed my mood for the rest of the concert and the following songs. I kept thinking about him. I had hoped he wasn't pretending to be okay just so we wouldn't be worried, because you know he'd do that. I love you, B. Take care of yourself, my sweet child. You before us, okay?

Now, after watching a fancam shot from the other side of the stage, it seemed like it maybe was an earpiece thing after all. I saw his right hand (which was obstructed by his body from my seat's view) move up to his ear and seem to adjust something. I hope it was just that…and that I'm just a dramatic mama bear.

Lightsaber (Remix)

I was still distracted by earlier with Baekhyun that I couldn't figure out what this song was until they literally started singing "Lightsaber". I wasn't really sure how to jam to this either because it was just loud and a lot of colors flashing everywhere. The effects were pretty impressive, especially with the lasers and the pyro. …But I couldn’t completely get into this one because…y'know, I kept thinking about Baekhyun and his well-being.

Also, can someone please explain to me the blue rose? I'm so confused by the use of a flavor for a piece that seems so star wars/el dorado/epic hero-y. And no lightsabersーTHE TRAVESTY!

Ment

Suho is breathing SO HARD into his mic while he transitions directly from the Lightsaber dance into speaking English and leading the ment. It's sexy but also just makes me a feel terrible that he's trying so, so hard for us.

The BOYS FINALLY come onto the stage to speak to us. FUCK YESSSSS I WAS DYING TO HEAR THEM.

The boys recapped what they did in New York. Translator still did a sordid job with it.

Chen went to see Chicago.

DO went to see "Sleep No More". We all holla-ed when he mentioned that but I think Suho was confused with the English name and kept repeating the title as if asking DO to clarify lol how cute. And then DO laughed nervously and acted cutely and heehee what a cutie. DO said, "Sleep no more is the best play in New York. I suggest you all to see it…but…you are all here tonight" and then he laughed his silly endearingly laugh. And just really cute cute cute all around. What a cutiepie.

Kai went to "Soho Street" (as filled in by Suho). Kai went to eat pizza at a top-ranked pizza but couldn't remember the restaurant name (it was Lombardi's). And then he told us he went to a pharmacy to buy medicine (turned out he had a cold). Suho mentioned "CVS" like he pulled it out of his ass and we cracked up because no one was expecting him to know this. Kai was surprised by how big the pharmacies were and how big the pills were and then complained that they were too big to swallow LOL. Kai dances like a possessed demon, but is actually just a baby.

Suho said his favorite movie was "Birdman" and mentioned that when he was Times Square he thought of the movie. He said he wanted to fly and then Chen and Chanyeol break out into "I believe I can fly" LOL WTF

Suho tried to make a joke referencing some commerical, but Chen didn't get it and then Suho tried to clarify but Chen was giving him that "you're not funny idgi" look and Suho got embarrassed and then said into the mic "let's move on".

Chanyeol bowled a water bottle down the stage and then said he went bowling in New York.

At this point, it's changing of the guards and Xiumin, and Baekhyun trickle in to join Chanyeol on stage, as the others return backstage. BAEKHYUN IN THAT STAR GRAFFITI JACKET FUCKK HE LOOKS SO HOT IN IT. I FUCKING LOVE IT. I WANT THAT JACKET. WITH OR WITHOUT HIM INCLUDED IS ALL OKAY.

Baekhyun is being a fucking weirdo and doing that flipping water bottle game. He failed all three times to have it land upright while the others were speaking and then just left it rolling around on its side in the middle of the stage.

He then starts teaching us about "같 - 이 - 해" and I pray that we don’t suck like 완벽한 아름다움 (wanbyeokhan areumdaum) like last year. I will admit, I was botching this part. I didn't even know what the words were, what the rhythm was, or why we were even doing this.

Afterwards, Baekhyun becomes a little fucker and starts talking about shower dances, not forgetting to throw us a knowing look. Chanyeol tees up Xiumin by asking him to show off his shower dance moves. Xiumin does the shoulder dance that ended up being part of the Kaching dance but of course, we didn't know that at that time.

Sehun sneaks onto the stage, but the venue erupts in screams when we see him. He's so beautiful :(

같이해 (Do It Together)

From the drop of the very first beat, we got into it. Even though I hadn't heard it before (save for the VCR), it felt so familiar, like home, like something I could expect to hear in the US. We were so hyped up for this song. It felt like the gates within us were opened and everything was released and a tremendous rush of energy united us all.

FUCK YESSSSS I danced so hard at this part, like it was night out, with hips and shoulders and arms up and everything. My seatmate and I were going down down baby~

I didn’t even know if I was saying 같이해 correctly or when to say it. I mean whatever. I was having fun.

Chanyeol rapping was actually pretty hot--impressed by his skills (he gets such a bad rap for being a bad rapper). I give credit to Sehun…didn't know he could rap well-ish. I thought he was just there to look all modelesque and beautiful.

I wish they would do more hip hop. I LOVE IT. (though it wouldn't be very EXO-like)

Full Moon

The transition to this was so smooth, I didn't notice it at the concert until we were at "Drop That".

I love all of Baekhyun's parts trying to hype up the crowd and all the spontaneous yelling like the noisy pupper he is.

My jeans were starting to cling to me from the sweat, and I was whipping my light stick hard like we were at a crazy party. The EXOOOOO background droning in the bass yesssss

Chanyeol's guitar rifts were so sexy. NEGL (Can you tell I have a thing for guitars lol)

Drop That

I knew that we were going to have that whole crazy rave thing again and wanted to be PRESENT for it, but I was already so tired at this point. I was in desperate need of a break and I went all out early and everything is just so loud and HIGH ENERGY, like over stimulation to a point where I cannot process anymore and everything feels numb.

They brought the house down with this piece. We were so, so loud and jumping the whole time shouting E-X-O. I mean, I was clocked out, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to physically participate in this.

Baekhyun's phrase endings with his lilt-y voice. YESSSSS BOYYYYY you sound so fabulous. (I wish he would sing more songs with that sassy attitude.)

Random Dance Break

To lead off, they had the metronome ticking and lightstick waving. With each pause of silence, screams escaped from us because we really contain the suspense anymore.

When the song finally hit, they kept on asking us to make some noise. I guess others were getting maxed out, like I was feeling, but WE ARE FUCKING MAKING NOISE ALREADY IM GOING TO BUST VOCAL CHORDS IF I GO ANY LOUDER

At the end, they had this random dance break which I am still really confused about. Why was this here?? Why did they ramp up the BPM only to slow it down for the next song??

Lucky

Whiplash again with the energy level. I mean it was still loud and flashy like before, but the tempo dropped suddenly. Just because it continued to be techno/EDM, didn't mean the energy level can be automatically copy and pasted from before.

Chen asked us to make more noise by breaking out another one of his hilarious guttural shouts. I was fucking tired at this point and ready to give up and I doubt I was the only one.

Run (Remix)

But NO of course, I cannot slow down now because suddenly, it goes into uppity bouncy Run and how can you not jump around for this one? From last time, I knew there was going to be an explosion of confetti, which was my favorite part from last concert, so I couldn't wait for it happen again. It's such a happy and easy going song, and I always look forward to it.

I was hyping myself up so much for this and singing off the top of my lungs.

And then the beats hit with the EDM and it ramps up to a RAVE and YESSSSS CONFETTI EVERYWHERE CELEBRATION LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND WE ARE ALL HAPPY HERE TOGETHER SINGING AND DANCING AND SCREAMING YESSSSS WOOOOOOOOO EUPHORIAAAAA say oh yeah OHHH YEAAHHHH EDM~~~~ OHHH YEAHHHH EDM~~ BOOM CONFETTI STREAMERS EVERYWHERE

It was still as spectacular as the last time. WOOOOOOOOOO. The stage is littered with happiness. I am a sweaty mess, but my mind is so blown.

The boys walked to the back part of the stage and kept saying goodbye and waving at us and said "see you next time". Chanyeol was the last one to join the others because he got tangled up in the streamers and was struggling to free himself hahaha so adorable.

I knew there were more songs coming, but I didn't realize that we were already almost done. I glanced at my phone and it was already 10:40pm, so it made sense that things were wrapping up. It felt like we had just got 1/3 through the concert. And I started getting a little sad at this point, but it grew with each passing minute.

VCR (Sing For You)

I went down at the beginning of the VCR to snatch some confetti from the previous stage and the guard at the pit gave me a stink eye when I walked all the way down there. She thought I was trying to sneak into the pit, but I told her I was just here for the confetti and she looked at me weird as if I made a random lie to cover for being "caught" red-handed sneaking in. She pointed at a streamer close to her and I ran over to pick it up and dashed up the stairs to my seat. I contemplated getting another one for someone else, but I was scared she would start yelling at me if she saw me venturing further into the pit.

VCR-wise, what is this!? I don't understand any of this. It was so weird…why is everyone in the family so depressed in the beginning?

The boys looked beautiful with their powers but I STILL DON'T GET IT. The audience sang a part of the song. I think at this point, I finally sat the fuck down because JFC my ass needed a break.

Sadly, this song also felt like a goodbye from the members and when each one's clip appeared, we cheered to show our love and to send them off individually.

And then in the end, why does it look like they are filming some kind of weird 1950s domestication vid or some propaganda material like "a happy household makes for a happy nation".

The concept is so convoluted. They probably thought that fucking weirder the better because it makes it feel complicated and interesting. No, it's weird as hell. And then the robotic baby narration. What the fuck??? Someone enlighten me PLEASE

After the VCR ended, there was a pause to clean up the stage from Run. The cleaning crew literally went around and flung the streamers off the stage. No sweeping or anything, just lackadaisically throwing/kicking things off with their feet, and they didn't even get all of it. A half-ass job if I ever did see one.

yeah when it comes down to the safety of my boys,
i's a snitch

으르렁 (Growl) (Remix)

Yes, the golden song. The good ol fanchants. We were actually doing them \o/

I was disappointed that they didn't do the dance, and the song was more lyrical. Isn't the bouncy dance the best part of it though??

Lucky One

We WENT NUTS when this one came on. Kyungsoo also did his hilarious dead stare head bobbing. HAHAHAHA love him

We sang everything we could. We had so much fun with one. The bright energy was like that of Love Me Right from last year. The atmosphere was very celebratory but there also a feeling of togetherness when we sang and danced with them. (Maybe we because we knew things were coming to an end?)

At one point, I screamed when Baek sang his lines and my seatmate screamed for him as well :') Bless her

People started throwing things onto the stage. That's when I knew that the end was nearing…NOOOOOOO

Baek had a mini dance break in the song where he danced his cute little butt off. And then DO and Chen teamed up for an encore of the head bobbing to conclude the act.

The looming end was bearing down on me and I'm trying to process this fact as the boys gather to the front of the stage for their final words.

Ment

The concert FLEW by and my soaring happiness came screeching to a halt when Suho said that they were saying goodbye. I wasn't listening to any of what he was saying at the beginning because I was in denial. It felt like I was just getting into it.

Someone threw a giant Exo light stick plushy that Chanyeol picked and played with and then later, Kai. There was also a Spongebob mask thing that Kai wore for a bit. There was a little toy electronic bunny that Sehun and Baekhyun were engrossed with.

There weren't too many hijinks during this ment, unfortunately.

Suho's English is so amazing. He's so amazing. Seriously. I can't say this enough.

Instead of taking a photo together now, he (Suho) opted to do it after performing "Angel". And then they said bye and bowed and almost immediately, the last song started playing.

Chanyeol booted a giant Lego head stuffed animal as the members got to their places.

너의 세상으로 (Into Your World)

Angel is one of my favorite songs and a piece that I've wanted to hear live ever since I got into EXO. It felt momentous finally being able to hear it this time after being so unfairly (pun!!) deprived of it last year. (“Unfair” replaced “Angel” last year as the final song). If I had one more ask, it's to hear them perform this sincerely, without all the farewell distractions. Baekhyun's voice in this song is so emotive and I want a real stage where I can appreciate this properly.

Even better was that Kai danced a portion of it. I had learned the choreography of this song, using Kai as the guide, so it was extra special seeing him perform this in person. There was also white confetti coming down over him as he was dancing, and it looked, fittingly, angelic.

However, I wasn't able to savor any of this because I was desperate to capture these waning moments. I was busy wildly wavy my Kyoong sign whilst holding a lightstick and trying to record and then also waving goodbye with my other hand. I held up my sign so high and mustered all my seduction pheromones so that Baekhyun would notice me TT. I wish I had more arms and more eyes. I wanted to do everything. I wanted so see everything so that I could remember it all.

But it was for naught. He only interacted with immediate area surrounding the stage--both the sides and the center of the pit. Kai and Suho looked diagonally to our direction. Kai waved at us and Suho, I always get a connection with him, my sweet, sweet boy. I’m going to pretend that one of them saw my sign.

The girl in front of me had been well-behaved the entire concert to the point where I never noticed her, and now suddenly, in the end, she grew 6 inches and is sticking her fucking arm out right in front of my face and phone and waving at them so flagrantly I couldn't see much beyond it. Her phalange took up so much of frame in my video, I ended up having to film at a weird diagonal so that I could avoid her arm and actually see the stage.

The song seemed to end so quickly, and they gathered us together to take a photo. It was really chaotic. We're screaming and waving our light sticks and huddling close to the stage even though we know that none of us were going to be seen.

Chanyeol is still in the extended stage, waving to people and playing with confetti when the members are getting into their poses. Suho tells Chanyeol to hurry the fuck up you little shit.

Xiumin asks us to make a cute post and we all chuckle. Chanyeol then interjects “no, sexy pose!" and we SCREAM. Most of the boys are kneeling and only Jongin is standing up doing a fabulous booty tooch YEAH BOY. I don't even know how the group photo turned out because they still (as of August 2017) haven't posted it. (The one from Vyrl is not NYC, looks more like LA.)

My phone died at this point.

And then it's the last few lines where Suho's telling us about the ending chant and then of course, the translator fucks up until the end:

Suho (in Korean): "Let's do the ‘We are one’ and ‘EXO Saranghaja’ part"
Translator: "WHEN I SAY WE ARE YOU SAY 'EXO EXO' (pregnant pause) 'EXO SARANHAJA' "
Suho: ??? *nervous chuckles, stares at her like DA FUCK, YOU SURE I SAID THAT?*
Suho (in English now tyvm he dun need a sloppyass translator): "I say 'We are', you say 'ONE'. I say 'EXO', you say 'Saranghaja'. Are(sic) you understand?"

(YESSSS SUHO THAT WAS SO HOT TAKING CONTROL LIKE THAT)

He was worried that the translators confused us but don't worry boo, we got chu. Suho finally leads the chants and we bid farewell to each other as they started walking down the stage and towards the abyss between the two screens. As they reach the back of the stage, Chanyeol starts singing something like "I love you~ Saranghaneun;alkdjfas;dlfkjadfa (some Korean)". Idk what the Korean song is, but the first "I love you" line was to the tune of "Johanna" from "Sweeney Todd" (lol go figure).

For their entire goodbye procession, we kept saying “Bye” to them which I thought was cute but bittersweet because if I really think about it, this was the first and only real word we ever said to them in our 2+ hours together. Everything else was just sounds. So saying it in our native English language felt personal as if we were saying bye to a friend. A casual “bye” because we know we will meet again.

Thousands of hands with hopeful hearts to bid farewell, to say thanks and to send them off with love and support.

Suho stood in the middle of the closing screens was the last person to leave (Chanyeol stuck his arm out behind Suho to wave at us). He left us with a "Hope to see you again" and waved to us and smiled his pearly whites with so much warmth and hope and gratitude. TT

Even after the screens closed, they continued saying things. I had no idea what they were.

When the lights came on, I said goodbye to my seatmate somewhat awkwardly. I think both of us wanted to ask about contact info to stay in touch but then hesitated and that brief moment passed and we parted ways as unknowns. I regret that I never got her name or a handle.

I wanted to go treasure hunting in the pit again, or at least grab another streamer, but the pit guards were blocking the stairs going into it. (Party pooper, the lot of them!). I trudged back up the steps to exit the seating area with my enormous sign. When I finally reached the upper floor and had some time to find some inner peace, I could feel the weight of my exhaustion, like I had just emerged from battle.

My phone died so there was no way of contacting AMoMi, whom I had promised to meet up with afterwards. They were only one section away, so hard would it be to find them?...Apparently, IMPOSSIBLE because I walked back and forth between the seating area to the exit and made a lap around the entire venue and still couldn't find them. I decided to stay outside because they have to leave eventually.

Like last year, it was raining outside. I waited for a bit before asking a poor husband (slave to his children) for his phone. I logged onto Twitter to try to DM the trio but before we could confirm a meeting place, his wife called asking where he was and where the kids were and I just…let him have the phone back because happy wife, happy life…I didn't even get to log out of my Twitter account YAY

It was raining and I was so tired and I didn't want to bother with borrowing someone else's phone because most people needed it to contact others. I walked back to the train station in a daze. I just wanted to go home.

There was no invigorating concert high, and I was so disappointed that I felt underwhelmed. Everything was a blur as if suddenly I find myself outside again, in the rain and three hours have passed.

I got on the PATH train (almost got on the wrong train into Jersey) and it left the station after 10 minutes and piles more concertgoers loaded in. I finally got home at around 12:20am and browsed through pics and vids in a sad attempt to convince myself that indeed, I was there. I forced myself to sleep at 2am, but it still felt like a whirlwind inside my mind.

Somehow, I managed to wake up and go to work the next day, but it felt so weird. Like I was expecting it to be local news that I saw EXO yesterday and there to be all this fanfare over it. It was one of my happiest morning commutes ever because I was engrossed with replaying all my videos and trying hard to contain my inner fangirl and to not let it spread outside into a goofy grin.

I loved this new sexy, hoarse voice I sported that morning which sounded an octave or two lower than my normal range. It probably scared some coworkers but I never told them why even after they did a double take. I'll let their minds wander...it probably wasn't too different from what I actually felt like happened the night before.

I was pretty much dead weight at work. By 10:30am my brain was done for the day, and I attempted to sleep with my eyes open.

PRE-CONCERT ー CONCERT ー SETLIST ANALYSIS ー FINAL THOUGHTS

Word Count: 8655

EXO PLANET #2: The EXO'luXion in New York (Fan Account -- Setlist Analysis)

bhaniere — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 03:49:27 GMT

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

► SETLIST ANALYSIS

I have always been thoroughly impressed by SM's production values for EXO's activities, whether it be through music videos, promotional photoshoots, or group styling. They don't recycle classically K-pop boyband concepts, but instead, push the envelope and set trends. And the result is always well thought-out and produced. I can always count on a level of sophistication and quality.

I had high expectations going into the concert, but I was completely blown away by how well-made it was. It was very skillfully planned out with both a tremendous amount of artistic and entertainment value. The concert felt alive--not just because of the fans and members present, but because of the masterful way the songs were laid out. The setlist wasn't just a showcase of songs arranged in a mechanical to-do list. The entire three-hour performance was treated as a cohesive piece of work. The concert was pulsing and carried the audience along a journey.

If I were part of the concert directing crew that constructed this list, this entry would be my thought process. (And yes, I already know I'm reading too deeply into this, like wracking your brain for enough bs to pad a 10-page English paper on a four-line poem.)

I've attempted to gauge how they planned the concert to play out in terms of playing with the audience emotions and energy level to create dynamism. My blueprint below is undulating as the concert unfolds. The constant buildup and release keeps the audience going in suspense. Generally, speaking there is always one hit song anchoring each cycle. It is a small treat for the concertgoers' patience, baiting them to repeat the behavior again for the next set of songs. It's really the anticipation that generates the energy that EXO and fans feed off of to create the unforgettable atmosphere.

The concert was a large, overarching musical piece made up of smaller ones in diverse mediums (videos, speaking, and singing/dancing). I view the setlist in a very crude sonata form with an (introduction (Opening),) exposition (Section 1), development (Sections 2-8), recapitulation (Sections 7), and coda (Section 8). It teases you in with the familiar, keeps you there to settle down and appreciate the depth, rewards you with the powerhouse, and sends you off with the new.

Section 1: The concert kicks off with the recognizable, grungy, aggressive, dissonant music and heavy beat that is typical of so many boy bands' repertoire. It's smart that they started with Overdose since it was the next heavily promoted song following Growl, which shot them to fame. I bet most people in the audience started following EXO after Growl, so this song would have been the first one where the fans were there to experience the entire comeback promotions period. The other two songs not only also fit the theme, but also help to remind us of where they've come from.There's not much playing with emotions at this point because they can count on building off the initial tension from the opening and their spectacular reveal.

Section 2: After giving us a taste of the expected, the type of music that every boy band is capable of, they invite us to sample something different and we dive into something softer but there are still some traces of angst that carry through. The tempo slows down through this set and the following, to help us catch our breath and create contrast for the exciting Set 4. Don't Go is an unexpected and interesting choice for a transition song from Set 1 in that it is in a major key compared to the previous minor ones, but I think it's more effective when considering it's off the back of Ment #1. After seeing the boys for the first time, we want to followup with something pretty and harmonious, right? Starting with Playboy, we start going into a deeper, darker mood. And to prevent this entire section from slowing to a halt, I figure My Answer is used as the peak of this set, to relieve some of the accumulated energy.

Honestly, this section's was a bit confusing for me in terms of logical ordering because it felt like a mismash of various types of songs. I could argue that the latter two are individual performances from Kai/Sehun and Baekhyun/DO/Suho, but I'm not sure about the first two--just very handsy dancing?

Section 3: This gets to the darkest section of the concert, not only in the music and choreography, but in the stage set-up with the metal platforms and their black and crimson suits. The concert enters a phase of almost-sexy, but not quite there. You feel it, but there's nothing you can point to exactly to say it's a blatant device used to create that effect. Everything there exudes it, hints at it, and I think it is so much sexier this way.

Because there's no "hit" song within the three, I'm still trying to decide if it's more of a continuation of Section 2 or a lead up to Section 4. It is related to Section 2 musically, but it can also be used to set that contrasting mood for Section 4 to hit with greatest impact. Maybe it's both.

Section 4: Following the near-hibernation state of the previous songs, the upbeat songs in this section were much welcomed and released all the energy mounting since the end of Section 1. The audience is rejuvenated by the tempo and the boys' jumping and smiling faces and throws themselves into playing along with them, creating a carefree, joyous mood. This is a warm-up for what is to come later. For me personally, it is yet another reminder of an era long ago, when they were still babies.

In terms of the sonata form, though still in the development part, there are small rifts of the main "theme" (EXO's trademark songs aka starting with Growl and the ones following), to give a taste of what's to come and help create cohesion when the concert circles back to it again. It doesn't exactly mirror any of those mainstream songs, but contains the same in-containable energy that propels Call Me Baby and Love Me Right. They were also all released in the same album as Growl.

Section 5: People are not Energizer bunnies, so this set of songs allows us to calm down and rest a bit. They want to ensure we are fully recovered so we can let it all out for Section 6. The first two songs are even more draggy than in Section 3, where at least sex was driving some of the energy. Miracles in December swoops in to save the day for this section because otherwise the momentum might have dropped to zero. The audience is also getting bored after two songs of the same slow tempo, so MiD is greeted with especially loud cheers, as it's finally a song that everyone is familiar with and can sing along to. It probably wouldn't have been received as warmly if it had been placed alongside other more upbeat songs, so this slow burn and sudden release was very effective for the piece.

Section 6: The calm, leisurely mood of previous songs collects the energy of the audience and yearning for release and ensures that they are willing to embrace the next set of party songs. All the songs in this series, with the exception of Machine (still questioning the placement of this song...feels like it should've been in Section 3), had been remixed to share and build off of common elements. This helped create and elevate tension and and made the final climax in Run especially effective since there was a familiar pattern everyone could anchor themselves to.

The rap in Full Moon helps set the hip hop, clubby tone of the section and gently eases everyone into the more lively mood. (Skipping Machine, which feels like a buffer to me.) Next, building off the more upbeat tone, Drop That introduces the all-important underlying dubstep bass notes and also incorporates pieces of rap. The tension mounts as the song is performed because the fans recognize the rap from before and know/feel pieces of the two songs accumulating. Let Out the Beast, completely exploits their energy from before by maxing out the dubstep and transforming it into a rave with laser lights that sends everyone to euphoria. However, the songs itself is club music that no one can sing to, so the audience can only perform two basic functions--scream and jump, which are not dependent on this being an EXO song. So as the last step, Run, puts all that together the pieces--the beat and energy first set from rap, the doozy dubstep bass notes, and finally a song that people can sing to. This way, the same kind of energy from before can be projected onto music that is related to EXO so the fans feel a more meaningful connection with the band at the final climax.

In my opinion, this section was most cleverly put together. It was logical and beautifully executed, each one transforming and growing from the previous song.

Section 7: Building off the incredible hype from before, these pieces push the audience one notch higher by finally giving them what they've been waiting for this entire time--their three hit songs. At this point, people are running on highs and it ensures that the songs are received at a booming, otherworldly level. There is no need for a climax to direct and concentrate energy because everyone (including the boys!) is going all out on their own like a racecar without brakes. And through the process, everyone slowly starts to come together as a group of united fans, after having experienced such a beautiful high and release together.

This is the recapitulation, the highlight of the larger concert composition, which are EXO's most famous songs. It's what the entire set list has been leading up to. It's the main event.

Section 8: This is the last section of the concert, the wind-down and send-off. The VCR plays to buy people time to recollect and actually breathe. But the content, centers the fans and reminds them of their bond with EXO. It teases out their emotions and reminds them of their love, which plays perfectly into Sing For You. Now with hearts opened, everyone naturally sings together and the venue comes together as one with EXO. This builds into a cohesive audience now receiving the boys for their final lengthy ment, and it's overflowing with love and support at a level never felt before. The concert ends with a calmer but still upbeat song to help unravel the energy. EXO bids farewell to the fans and brings them down to earth with two of their most recent songs to remind them how their music has evolved and connect them back to present day.

I really appreciated how nicely and evenly spaced out the Ments and VCRs were. Clearly the organizers sat through and reviewed the set list multiple times to decide on the optimal break points, to build up exactly enough energy to work off of. Not too often which would disrupt the flow but not too sparse where the energy would frustrate and dissipate. Overall, they were very clever in toying with our emotions and teasing us with suspense. Apart from the excitement created by the setlist alone, the sets and props were also very effective (ex: paper panel stripping is a no-brainer hit). I especially enjoyed the arrangements in the Opening and Party section. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about production values for the concert!

And just for kicks, since this is an account of MY experience, you can see how far I was from a normal person's experience, measured against this scientific "projected energy level" benchmark that I very arbitrarily made up.

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

EXO PLANET #2: The EXO'luXion in New York (Fan Account -- Final Thoughts)

bhaniere — Mon, 04 Apr 2016 18:04:42 GMT

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

► FINAL THOUGHTS

Well damn, it's all over.

For the next few days, I'm in denial. Disbelief. Shock.

There was absolutely no way I saw them live. My world was much too much the same to have seen them. It didn't make sense that I could experience something so magical on the inside that nothing in the physical world changed to reflect it. I felt blessed to have had the opportunity to attend the concert, but the feeling was also a bit empty, a bit disconcerting, like finding a four-leaf clover but having nothing special happen to me. Did I miss something?

Although EXO had a great time and we, the fans, had a great time with them, I can't help but feel like they were a bit restrained. It almost feels like they were unsure of how to deal with us. At least when I compare it with footage of other Asian concerts, in Korea and otherwise, their interactions with us were very cut and dry. They stuck to their script and squeaked by with the minimum. During the ments and even in performances, they stayed near their marks and rarely strayed out to the stage peripherals. And apart from their required speaking lines, the members were very quiet. Nothing outrageous happened that day. I get it. They're exhausted. After all, we are the last stop of their North American tour.

Language was an enormous barrier, especially when no one in group could speak it. They weren't as relaxed or natural with us as I know they're capable of. Maybe it was an apprehension of the cultural difference that prevented them from letting their guards down. Sometimes it felt like they thought they were shooting arrows into the dark when they tried to communicate with us and that they hoped at best that they would get some sort of reaction from us, regardless of if it was the proper one. In hindsight, I don't they were able to connect with us on any level beyond the most basic and pre-orchestrated, and thus, no noteworthy ad-libs.

At least in the US, fans and artists share a more professional relationship at concerts. There are no such things as LED fan signs, fan chants, or fs noonas here. It's much less saccharine and we treat the musicians as adults, not as our children. We applaud great performances and honor them as artists, but it's nowhere close to the degree of unconditional love that I feel occurs in Asia where fan support includes treating artists as humans--as a musician and beyond. This holistic treatment of an artist would be considered creepy is less respected than the silo-ed slice that occurs in the States (limiting the scope of support only on their music), and thus the former does not come naturally to us.

Even though most of the concertgoers are well aware of the Korean traditions for EXO concerts, the turf is still American and the influence is omnipresent. We are not accustomed such constant and personal interactions and I can't help but feel that we disappointed them with our seemingly cold response. Just because our welcome was not as warm or enormous, it doesn't mean we love them any less. We just express it differently.

It also certainly didn't help that MMT stirred up so much shit in everyone with their sordid organization skills, so that many entered the concert with already a dark cloud over our heads. Combining that with our desperation after waiting for so many years as fans, weeks for concert day, and hours outside in lines, it culminated in rumors and truths of fainting, shoving, and pushing, especially within the pit. EXO exercised caution and stayed within their bounds because they wanted to control for the unexpected. Any serious injury would be a huge black mark on them. Better to be safe (literally) than sorry.

And because we are truly overoceans, it's a rarity for them or any Korean artist to come here. But we are so inexplicably happy they've come, our nine little passions, that we fight with that same intensity to see them as close as possible because there is no guarantee that we will ever get the chance again. They are nugus in the US and they would have so much more commercial success performing in parts of Asia where they are gods compared to flying halfway across the world only to be stuffed into tiny venues with still empty seats just to appeal to not even 0.003 bps of the general population. Their arrival, stay, and departure will not make any news anywhere. Not even a blip on the radar.

Apart from faulting EXO, I must say that the crowd was surprisingly mellow. There was much less cat-fighting than I had expected, in fact, there was none around me. (I could have survived just fine without all that soju. Though I would've liquored up anyway tbh.) People were generally civil and polite with others around them. But that also translated into a lackluster audience response. The first two-thirds of the concert felt like we were all fair-weather fans and who attended only because they happened to be in town and we had some extra change left in our pockets. We finally started waking up from our coma at around Let Out the Beast, and we began to open up and get louder from there on. But I think we acted with restraint, just like EXO, though ours was not calculated--just a lot of people decided not to be present that day. There was never a time when the noise was completely ear deafening, never a time where I could feel all of us at 100% and know that it was the climax of the concert. There were three times when we were very loud, but it felt at around 90% for me. We got close a few times, but never actually tipped over.

Language was without a doubt an issue for us too, but the fan chants were really all over the place (not like I contributed at all to righting it) and it felt like this was the first time we ever heard of EXO's songs. Every time they called out to us for a response, we replied so weakly, like half of us didn't know what was going on and the other half of us were asleep. I'm positive the majority of us were much more obsessive about them than we let on. Maybe it's from our habit of always containing our thoughts on them within ourselves because of their irrelevance here in the US. Suddenly, we have to vocalize it and no one's taught us how to do that yet.

But honestly, I'm disappointed in NY because the above was not completely a US thing. I heard how loud the crowds were in LA and Chicago. We couldn't compare to them at all, and it's surprising given the high concentration of Asians in the area (not that all fans must be Asian...). We really should do better for the next time that's not ever coming.

For all the shitting I've taken on MMT, I do sincerely appreciate them for arranging this because this is absolutely a product of their hard work. Their organization and communication, however, could be greatly improved to put it nicely. Before things were fully confirmed within the team, hurried responses would be given, only to be reversed later on. One group of concert goers would see the first (now incorrect) answer, but not everyone from this group also sees the second correct answer. (Most of their messages are through Twitter). So now, there exists two different versions of the truth floating around. And the confusion and frustration associated is only heightened because we are so passionately in love with these "hypothetical" people that we hinge on every bit of news. And any change feels like knives to our backs. It most greatly impacts those who travel from outside where one policy change can greatly affect their travel arrangements. With NY having heard and learned from all the fiascoes before, there's no doubt we went there expecting to be told the day of that everything we knew was a lie. We hoped for the best and expected the worse. I think we ended up with pretty good.

It was really fucking embarrassing though to have to be reminded so constantly to step back from the stage. I completely understand it was required from a security perspective but it honestly did nothing but interrupt the concert and make us more resentful. Whenever the lights dimmed as it transitioned between stages or the members walked out onto the stage for a ment with mics in hand, I would prepare myself for another announcement to take steps back and the resulting awkward fake shuffling and staring contest. Since none of the pit ever responded, a part of me feared that the concert would be delayed until we cooperated or be cut short altogether. It reminds me so much of my primary school days where teachers would shush students in the cafeteria and ask us to keep our voices down. It would be quiet for the five seconds while they were yelling at us, and as soon as they stopped, we would continue talking again, if not louder than before, before they came back to shut us up again. There are no winners in this situation, and it leaves both parties with such a bitter aftertaste.

I also felt really terrible for the seated concertgoers because they didn't do anything wrong but had to sit through the scolding nonetheless. They are roped into the same group as us pit people when EXO forms their impression of New York. I'm disappointed that we didn't behave any better, but I don't think we would have stood out against other locations only because this pushing and shoving is so commonplace. But just because everyone does it, doesn't make it right. Good behavior would have made such a deeper impact on EXO than any loud fan cheer could have ever been.

We are insane and uncontrollable because we love you so passionately. That's easy. Everyone feels that way. But one notch higher. We honor and respect your concerns because we love you so passionately. Even if it is hard for us, we will do it for you. That's difficult. But then again, who am I to lecture because during the heat of the moment, I transformed into an ignorant hormonal high schooler, just like everyone else, and did everything I just warned against.

Onto lighter matters, the most popular members, measured by cheer noise during the last extended ment (#4) were:

Sehun...Chanyeol Kai...Xumin Suho...Chen Baekhyun Lay...DO

(I may be slightly biased though because I always feel like Baekhyun is under-appreciated by everyone. The roof might have to blow off the arena before I am satisfied with applause for him.)

As for me personally, my love for Baekhyun just skyrockets after this concert. He was already at another level before compared to everyone else, but now he's in another dimension, another world--just so far gone, it's physically impossible to catch up to him any more. I didn't know it was possible to love him any more, but he's proven me wrong again, as he does every time I think I've hit my Baek-love capacity. I won't ever forget the way he gazes at us, with so much sincerity, humility, and love. He was already perfect in my imagination, but Baek in reality is a million times better.

I already love Kai so much, but seeing him in person is a completely different experience and it propels him so far past my original feelings for him I can't even recall what it used to be. The aura surrounding him when he performs is unforgettable. You feel it even when you're cramped between bodies of strangers. It makes you forget where you are and under the lights, coated with a gloss of sweat, his body moves so effortlessly and with so much emotion and purpose, he takes your breath away. Even when I see photos of him now, I can't forget how I felt then. He is such a stunning individual. I still can't fully comprehend his being.

I also gained a new found respect for Suho. Because he wasn't flashy like some of the others I fawn over, I admit I never really gave much thought to him. What he does can not be showcased as a three-minute piece, and his efforts to organize and lead the group can be easily overlooked. But witnessing this in person, the hard work and energy he puts into all his songs and directing the ments is really touching. Bless you, Suho. He really deserves so much more recognition.

For everyone else, my love for them grew leaps and bounds, which is a bit concerning because I only have a certain amount of emotional love I'm capable of and Baek by himself is already stretching me very thin. I have only positive impressions of every one of them. I feel so much compassion towards them now, even if some of their marketed personalities don't particularly appeal to me. I saw the sweat and the emotions in their eyes. They are not storybook characters. They are humans. They have feelings, and they work so hard for us. How can you not be moved?

This was a clever marketing ploy, SM, for you have most definitely sucked me into EXO for the long haul. Congrats. Here, take all my money. This is my bank account number and password. Call me if you have any issues.

My three favorite performances were:
1) Run (because the confetti/streamers moment I can't stop talking about)
2) Sing for You (singing together was such a beautiful moment)
3) Love Me Right (this was their last hit song before wrapping up the concert and we gave it our all in our send-off; also Baekhyun was sparkling, dazzling in this)

If and when there's a next time, I will be bringing 10-inch platform shoes, not using my phone while I'm waiting in the line pre-concert to conserve battery, emptying out ALL the memory in my phone, and actually making a fucking sign for Baekhyun why the fuck am I being lazy with showing my love for him publicly when I'd go get him the moon in a heartbeat when I'm sitting behind my computer.

These minor regrets aside, this may actually have been one, if not, THE happiest moment of my life. Sure, there have been many more significant events, but this was the purest sense of happiness for me. I went to the concert because I wanted to and I didn't do it for anyone but me. I owned the whole thing. The feelings and emotions I experienced are completely from within me. I wasn't happy because my friends or family were happy. I was happy because I was happy and that was enough. There have always been some strings attached to these other happy events I attend, some implications behind these moments to make them "happy". But this one was different because it was so selfish and liberating and therapeutic. I finally get to run free from inhibition for three hours of my life.

It took me so long to write this because I didn't have the courage. The courage to recognize that the concert was over and it was a part of the past now.

I wanted to continue living in the bubble of the concert by watching the videos and photos on repeat, hoping that eventually, the shock would thaw away and I'd finally be hit with the satisfying full force of realization and fulfillment, something I had been waiting for since the day I purchased the ticket. (I was in varying degrees of disbelief throughout the concert and never felt its true gravity at any point in time.) Apart from hiding in this bubble, it would help me not only capture all the details for this post, but also find out what actually happened and what they said since I couldn't see nor hear much in the pit and was really only focusing on Baek.

But then as soon as I pressed play, my throat would start knotting up and I'd overwhelmed with so much sadness that I couldn't get past ten seconds of anything before having to pause the video or close out of it altogether.

The video is a recording of the past. I am watching an EXO of the past. They're not here anymore. They're in a hotel and flying out the next day. I still can't believe I was with them for a brief second, standing before them so deliriously happily. But then they disappeared in a flash, and I feel so empty. I miss them so terribly much even when I saw them just hours ago, and I am so confused with all my feelings. It's like someone just carved out a part of my heart without telling me why.

Because how do you say goodbye to something so sweet knowing that you might never taste it again? It hurts so much to have and then lose than not ever knowing at all.

The pain twists deeper into me knowing that they're living and breathing because that means they are real. And being real means I can no longer dismiss my desires for them as imagination, which are all ultimately bounded by the definition of fantasy. I can no longer relegate them to a dark corner of my mind that is separate from my reality. And because they exist in this world, where supposedly anything is possible, I can be greedy. I want to see them again and again and again, until I can memorize all the creases and moles on their faces, and in the realm of earthly things, that is logically and physically possible. But that's not going to happen because they are thousands of miles away living their own lives, moving along just swimmingly without me, preparing to woo the next stadium of girls and boys. It doesn't matter that I want to see them again. They won't come.

It's a also a strange feeling to stand in a space with thousands of others bursting at their seams with unconditional, all-consuming love and knowing that the objects of our affections will never really understand how we feel. We're trying our best to express it through cheers and screams, but it comes nowhere close to conveying how deeply our feelings run, how some of us just want to fall to our knees and cry out of gratitude for them being a source of inspiration and pulling us through the dark moments of our lives. But all that comes out are rabid, shrill screams. Even when everyone in the audience has favorites and screams only for those select people, to EXO they hear it as one collective cheer, with love split equally amongst them all.

But that's not enough for me. I want to go beyond that. I don't want my love diluted into eighths. I want it all to go to Baekhyun. I want to personally thank him for all that he's done for me that he doesn't even know. He is such a blessing in my life and sometimes, the only reason for my smile each day. I'm so honored to be sharing the same world as him.

But when he looks out, it's just a sea of lights. There are no faces attached, and I am but one speck in that ocean. It will not grow dimmer or brighter because of my presence. And the person bearing that small light believes in him so passionately it's self-destructive but it changes nothing about how he views us, the fans.

It's like comparing my existence, which consumes all of me, to the world, to the universe. I don't really matter at all. Nothing changes because I am alive. And likewise, nothing changes with Baekhyun because I am alive and because I love him.

And it hurts so much inside because it's like telling me that what I feel doesn't matter. But it does matter. Because he matters. And even if the Baekhyun I've fallen in love with is from my imagination, I know what I feel is real.

I know I am suffering because I am selfish. Because I expected something personal in return. But he has already given me so much in the endless love he extends to all fans, always with the brightest smile and the warmest heart no matter the situation, and I shouldn't ever forget that.

Baekhyun is a pink cherry blossom. Baekhyun is the purest form of love. Baekhyun is the unrequited--loving completely and expecting nothing in return.

It took me two weeks to stop cycling through the five stages of grief every time I viewed concert video or photos, and to be okay with coming to terms with my own insignificance over and over again. I'm still trying to figure out if I regret going or not. Seeing the boys is, of course, no regret. It's just all the tears and soul-searching afterwards.

It was a surreal experience. I still don't think it's sunk in that I saw them in person, that I was in their presence. And at this point, more than a month later, I don't think it ever will. It all happened so quickly that it's hard to believe they were ever here at all. There was a bright flash and then they were gone and it was silent again.

To me, it was just a very splendid, very real dream. Like a hallucination during an extra long blink.

You are a dream. I hope I never meet you.

Word Count: 21515 (56 pgs in Word + 3 graphs in Excel) O_O

aaaaand that's my dissertation
Someone please hand me my PhD

LAME PREGAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

EXO PLANET #2: The EXO'luXion in New York (Fan Account -- Pre-Game)

bhaniere — Tue, 29 Mar 2016 03:06:28 GMT

EXO PLANET #2: The EXO'luXion
Sunday, February 21, 2016 (6:30pm)
Newark, NJ

Disclaimer: This fan account is just as much a record of events that day as a diary entry of an emotional journey. With that said, it is overwrought with detail and overly flowery language, as I try to fully capture the magic of those three hours. Days, months, even years down the line, I don't want to forget a single second of it.

The writing is honestly more a cesspool of rambling thoughts sprinkled with a dash of actual event documentation. The breakdown is something like this:

30% Artistic License -- I have somehow decided to make write a mini-adventure story out of this

30% Psychoanalysis/Self-therapy/Inner dialogue

20% My EXO backstory/thoughts on the group

20% Profanity

I draw sweeping generalizations through the fan account when, in fact, I know nothing. But this is all in the name of a more romantic, exciting reading experience. Please do not crucify me if I misrepresent something.

I had also intended to embed concert photos and vids but I broke my computer and everything from the concert was on there, and I honestly have no idea if it'll ever be able to retrieve them, so this will be just a big chunk of text for now (and possibly forever). Soz :(

FYI I am a shameless Baek stan and have tunnel vision only for him, so the majority of the flaily comments will be about him. ...You have been warned.

TLDR: This thing is entirely too long and dramatic. I wrote so much it exceeded the posting limit so I had to split it into not two, but ~~three~~ FOUR posts. For the actual concert recap (which is also hella long), go to CONCERT, located in a separate post.

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

► PRE-GAME

This was the first time I was attending a k-pop concert and I got all hyped up about buying tickets, since the only people I knew who were going were really into EXO and as crazy as me, so it felt like the entire world was waiting for ticket sales were open. (In retrospect, I totally overestimated the demand.) When the tickets were released at 8pm (soooo nerve-wracking omfg I'm positive it was even worse than college decisions coming out), I refreshed consecutively for the first ten minutes without any luck. At first, I thought that maybe all the tickets had sold out and I wasn't going to get one. Nevertheless, I sat there and kept refreshing and fifteen minutes in, Ticketmaster finally showed me a ticket for Section 21, putting me wayyy out there into Siberia to the right of the stage (lower level). I had hoped to get a standing ticket but at this point, I didn't care what it was. I just wanted anything to get in. Without hesitation, I paid for it.

But then I was greedy and curiosity got the better of me, so I kept refreshing and about 40 minutes in, I was shown one in Section 18 in the lower row numbers. This gave me a nearly dead center view of the stage and very close to the pit (though still seated). I was so, so excited to get something with a better view. Without hesitation, I paid for it. (It cost more than the previous one.)

But then I was greedy and curiosity got the better of me, and I started telling myself that the extended stage wasn't going that far out anyway, so I wouldn't get to see them well even if I was in the lower rows. So I kept refreshing and refreshing and refreshing and then, by some miracle, I got a GA TICKET!!!!! I THOUGHT I WON THE LOTTERYYYY. I felt so lucky to nab one, especially when there were plenty of fansites on twitter seeking GA tickets. Without hesitation, I paid for it. (It cost more than the previous one.)

At this point, I stopped myself because now I have three fucking tickets, but I am only going by myself. (Just for YOUR curiosity, I did refresh a few hours later and found a GA3 one, but I didn't pull the trigger on it and kept by GA5. Otherwise this story would had another paragraph.) So now I am nearly $600 in and I have two extra tickets. FUCKKKKKK

Instead of reveling in the euphoria of getting a GA pit ticket, I spend the next hours, days, weeks posting/stalking/aggressively and shameless marketing my two seated tickets on every message board I can get my hands on. It took me only a week to sell both of them, but damn, that week felt so long. Each day felt like three because I was putting so much pressure on myself to SELL THEM WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF YOU IDIOT SELL THEM NOW AS IF THEY HAVE HALF-LIVES OF 2 SECONDS. I ended up selling them at nearly half the face value because I was so desperate to get rid of them.

I was still burdened with the need to recover the remaining few hundred dollars, so then for the three weeks leading up to the concert, I sold a lot of my personal things online to gather funds. It was really sad to be honest when I thought about how I had completely knowingly dug myself into this hole. I totally could have survived just swallowing the loss, but I felt required to break even. I absolutely HADDD TO recover the money. And so I stayed up wayyy too late wayyy too many nights writing up descriptions, researching prices, and going out to buy more things to arbitrage, just to scrap together the money. Eventually, I did earn back all that I paid for my two extra tickets.

I guess that's a small hooray, but it really sucked all the excitement away from the concert. I was briefly hyped the night I purchased the tickets, but starting the next morning, it was smothered out by this new assignment I had placed on myself. Thinking about the concert was no longer a joyous event, but rather it was tainted by the reminder that I had two extra tickets fucking laying around that I needed to somehow find an owner for, in the midst of so many price wars between other buyers and sellers doing exactly the same thing. It was definitely NOT fun.

Needless to say, my mind was completely occupied with all the marketplace dynamics (in addition to work) that I never had the time nor energy to even think about EXO and really think about what it meant to see them live. I was only able to break even a day or two before the concert, so it didn't give me much time to relax and hype myself up again, now that I was finally free from the burden of scraping back the money. I had been repeating and advertising the concert details over and over again in so many listings that the entire event felt like a plastic product now. I had lost all the emotional connection to the concert, and sadly, I just couldn't wait to stop thinking about it.

Long story short, I was stupid and greedy and it bit me in the ass and sucked all the pleasure away from concert anticipation, which was actually something I was so looking forward to. I wanted to feel that suspense building up in me and feel so incredibly happy and jump around with others I knew who were going...but I didn't, so I couldn't.

(I PROMISE IT'S NOT ALL BAD, OKAY? PLEASE KEEP READINGGG)

Fast forward to the day of...

MyMusicTaste claimed that GA was entering by ticket number and mine was Section GA5, Row GA2, which would be the third to last to enter, so I figured I'd be in all the way at the back, like really, really far back. I was considering making a sign days ago for Baekhyun, but then thinking about my likely location, I decided not to. I mean it's not like he'd see me all the way back there, right? (Remember this.)

Nevertheless, I still wanted to support Baekhyun, so the night before, I painted my nails with three iconographs—a heart, a Baekpup, and a Baeksprout. Not like he, nor anyone else would have noticed, not even people standing in line beside me, but I liked the little flutter that shot through my heart from my secret declaration of love and support.

I was also speaking to Goddess X and she suggested I bring some binoculars since I would be standing far away, so at around 12, I left my apartment to hunt some down at Best Buy and grab some soju. The weird thing was that at noon, which is 6 hours before the concert, I felt absolutely nothing about it...l had no excitement, no feelings, no anything. I just felt numb like any other Sunday morning when I wake up and am filled with immediate dread because tomorrow is Monday and Monday means work.

I was hoping that the soju would help warm me up and at least tease out some actual emotions in me (and also to help tie me through the being in the mosh pit at the venue). I just wanted to feel something. Anything. I ended up having to travel to two different stores because binoculars weren't in stock (who knew they were in such high demand in February?), which sent me thirty minutes behind schedule. I grabbed some soju before heading home, which was painless and easy as pie. I scarfed down some lunch I had grabbed from a Korean buffet place the night before (kimchi fried rice, jeon, kimbap, bulgogi, tteokbokki, etc. basically all of Korea) and chugged it down with soju. The alcohol had no effect. I still didn't feel anything. I also drank maybe 5 glasses of water in the one hour I had left, since I didn't want to drink anything during the line and then torture myself with a non-existent bathroom break.

The train I was planning to take left at 2:47pm, which would have given me enough time to pick up my light stick and any of the free fan goods that they were passing out. By the time I finished eating, it was 2:30pm, and I was like neeehhh, I'll take the next one afterwards, which departed at 3:07 pm. I dressed in a concert-inspired outfit—a light bone white button down with a deep navy accented collar and cuffs, along with some black ripped jeans (100 points for Gryffindor if you can spot the stage set inspiration).

I also applied some light burgundy makeup in honor of Baekhyun's glorious eyes look, not like it matched with my outfit, but I'm going by myself and I'm standing in the dark for 3 hours so who the fuck really cares. And I also wore my leather work watch even though time matters very little if I've already surrended myself to waiting hours in the line, along with a replica of Baekhyun's fearless bracelet. I heard it was going to rain so I wore a deep crimson raincoat. (I always stick out like a sore thumb when I wear this, but it's my favorite, and fashion is not for the tame.)

Since I preordered merchandise, they had advised that we pick it up before 4:30. Otherwise, we'd have to wait until after the concert it. According to PATH train timetables, the trip from WTC to Newark would only take around 25 minutes so I was going to be there way ahead of 4:30 even if I left at the 3:07 train...I was going to be totally fine (ha).

I had been following the MMT Twitter account and reading fan accounts of the North American tour, so I knew about all the clusterfuck that MMT had caused at each concert. Though they reiterated a million times that we were lining up by ticket number, I still didn't really trust them because in the previous locations, it devolved into some form of first come first serve. Even though I was already showing up 3 hours before doors opened, I still feared that I'd be arriving too late. (Prudential Center had also sent out an email the day before recommending us to only show up an hour earlier. Ha, what kind of sane people do they think we are.)

I could have shown up in the morning and wasted (sorry that "waste" is not the nicest term, but I feel that way quite frankly) away entirely too many hours of my life to guarantee a relatively good spot, but nothing would have willed me to get there that early. (I'm starting to realize that I'm not as passionate a fan as I'd like to be...) Plus, I wasn't even feeling any hype at this point, three hours before the concert...absolutely nothing. It almost felt like going to a family dinner. (Wouldn't it be amazing (and incestual) if they were my family?!?!) It was purely an obligation, which is just terrible I KNOW. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME--OH SHIIIT it's 2:50pm I'm going to be late for the train!! AAAHHHHHH

I was nearly sprinting to the WTC PATH train hub for my train from Manhattan to Newark, which according to the internet was to depart soon after 3pm. I was still two blocks outside the station at 3pm, and I definitely ran past some other concert goers (very easy to spot with the heavily Koreanesque style of dress amongst a sea of black tweed coats) and I was almost wondering why they were walking towards the station so leisurely. But every man for themselves and I couldn't be bothered if they were going to be late. I just needed to get on on time.

I was definitely the most stressed-out looking person inside the station even as I walked to the platform, through the throngs of passengers walking very calmly with me to the same destination. I didn't even want to spare a glance at my watch for fear of putting even more pressure on myself. I nearly jumped down the stairs and lept into the open train car and stood there, trying to catch my breath and avoiding the odd stares from other passengers. And I waited for the doors to close and waited and and waited and soon the concert goers I had passed got on and now we all waited and it wasn't until 3:15 that we left. 7 minutes behind schedule that felt like eternity. Okay, so fine, the train was departed was only slightly late. I still have 75 minutes until 4:30, so puh-LENTY of time for the trip over.

The train chugs along and I whip out my book to start reading for the nearly half-hour ride, but then 3-4 stops in (there are around 7 total), it stops midway on the tracks. After 5 minutes at a standstill, the intercom comes on belatedly to apologize for the delay (um, yeah OBVIOUSLY mega eye rolls) and reassures us that "we will be moving shortly". But then we don't and we wait in silence again for another 5 minutes before they apologize again and then we wait again, and this process repeats for a laughable 5 times. We were probably waiting in the same spot for around 20 minutes and as per usual with public transportation in the area, no one knows why.

I am painfully aware that it's 3:50 at this point, and I know that I'm at least 3 stops away (I'd say, that means at minimum 10 very, very optimistic minutes). This was the first time I had taken this particular train route, so I didn't have a good sense of the actual transportation time. I tried to act relaxed like all the other passengers and concertgoers who were chatting away freely, but I buried myself in my book to hide the fact that I was flipping out internally, turning pages at lightning speed as my eyes raced across the text, knowing full well that nothing resonated in my head and I was just looking at a design of blank lines printed on white paper. Maybe if I pretended that things are alright, things WILL be alright. Motto of my life, man.

It's 4:10 when I finally get off the train. I type in the address to Prudential Center on my phone and it estimates 17 minutes walking. That would put me at 4:27, and I'd still be on time, granted no mistakes. Plus, I'd like to think that all the walking in New York has raised my walking speed to above average. Maybe I had a 5-minute cushion instead. Glancing down the street, I orient myself and confidently walk down the road. I GOT THIS, I keep repeating to myself. And I keep walking and walking and walking and something doesn't feel right and....how come I'm still not at the road I'm looking for...and I look back down at my map and realized that I'VE BEEN WALKING IN THE OPPOSITE FUCKING DIRECTION THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!! I DON'T GOT THIS. I DON'T GOT THIS. I DON'T GOT ANY OF THIS!!!!

At this point, it's 4:23 (LMAO) and I have to be at the venue in 7 minutes. 7 minutes to retrace all my steps from the past 10+ minutes back to the train station and then further on onto the opposite side. I may have tried to play it cool before, but this was a dire emergency, so I sprint all the way back towards the trains and then past it towards the venue. My red raincoat is double-lined and quite warm and combining that with my anxiety and running, had painted my cheeks bright pink. I looked like a tomato streaking through a dreary rundown neighborhood.

It's 4:27pm and I round the corner of the bridge and I faintly see the venue across the street at the top of the hill. I want to drop to my knees and cry (there's some sort of religious reaction I'm having at that point). There's a red light and I'm both grateful that I can catch my breath for a bit and fighting myself not to run through traffic to cross the street. Longest 30 seconds of my life. Green light! GOOOO!!! I charge up the freaking HUGE gently sloping hill (which burns soooo much more than a short steep one) and I think I might just collapse when I finally reach the top and see the Prudential Center in its entirety. I'm not sure if it's from exhaustion, relief or shock at the ten different lines snaking around back and forth and disappearing around corners of the building. I didn't even know where the head nor tail was. My head is spinning at just everything.

It's 4:29pm and desperation mode is kicking in, where anything feels possible. I grab random people walking past me to ask about the merchandise tent and one pointed wayyyyyyyyyyy to the other side of the building but told me that they might have been closing already. I look out into the distance. I can't even see anything resembling a tent or table or anything, so it be around the corner. There's no way I'd make there in time, not when my HP is nearly zero. I think I'd be more heartbroken if I went to find it closed and then have to embark on some walk of shame back to my current standing spot. No, apparently anything was NOT possible this time. I accept my fate and turn around to find where the fuck I was supposed to be standing with my non-existent light stick.

As I walk past people, I can feel their eyes on me, not only for the color of my jacket, but also for the fact that I look so flustered and I'm out of breath and sweaty and my hair is matted along my face and cheeks are flushed. What the fuck did they think I was doing before? (Actually, no, don't answer that.)

I finally find the GA5 line only through speaking to other people, as clear direction and signage did not exist there. We're up against the wall of the venue, while GA3 was in a line outside of us. (I presume GA1, 2, and 4 were on the other side of the building.) Once I finally calm down, I start to actually feel things in my body, like the fact that I'm hungry, I'm sleepy, and I'm alone. I pull out a banana from my cross body and angrily peel it open before I stuff it into my mouth.

I'm so frustrated that I didn't get the light stick! I nagged a MMT staff member and asked but she "didn't know but thinks that I'll have to pick it up after the concert" -_- I FUCKING ASKED YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW YOU ARE A STAFF MEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME I ALREADY KNOW BC I READ IT OFF THE FUCKING TWITTER ACCOUNT AND IT'S PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE. I want to throw my banana at her (jk, I think banana eating happened after asking her). I kinda huffed at her and decided to spare her life for the time being.

I think I let slip a microscopic silent baby tear. I didn't bring anything else with me! How fucking lame would it be to go to the concert with nothing to show support? I was looking so forward to participating in the silver ocean, and now I'm just going to be standing there awkward and out of place, like driftwood atop the silver water. I hate myself. I chew furiously and swallow hard--both the banana and my oh so bitter feelings.

I am alone and I'm beginning to feel a little (okay A LOT) sorry for myself, so I pull out my book and start reading again to stay occupied for the next two hours. Hell no, I'm not in the mood to socialize with everyone else who's smiling and dressed head to toe in EXO and calm and life is just completely peachy for them. I'm yawning incessantly because apart from the two, no, three (IDK I just know that I'm chronically late to everything) races against time I've had so far this morning, I got up at 7am for no particular reason at all.

It starts to drizzle here and there and I pull up the hood of my coat, except it's too big for my head and covers my eyes completely, so I have to stick out my neck to see past its edge and onto the pages of book. I am Little Red Riding Hood, the bookish monkey, with a banana peel hanging out of my bag. I most definitely don't look like I belong here, like I'm lost and mistakenly got in line, thinking that it's the queue to take me back to my storybook home.

Chatty girls beside me are talking about school or recalling their travel adventures and giggling over EXO. Other younger kids are waving eagerly at their parents who with wait them outside the barricade, both with smiling faces. The majority of the crowd is dressed in Growl era varsity clothes. My company is my book, which is Korean fiction commentating on material wealth, social power, and dysfunctional families in contemporary society. I am dressed in the latest dementor fashion. (Crimson is the next trendy color, haven't you heard?) You could have plucked me up and threw me into any other crowd and I would have looked relatively normal. You couldn't do that with too many others in line. I feel overaged and underdressed.

At around 5:30, a lady comes around with a megaphone warning in both English and Korean that no cameras are allowed. No one moved. WELL DUH OBVIOUSLY. Yeah, like I'm going to leave my camera out here and hope that it'll still be there for me to pick up afterwards. Seriously though, question for the ages, what would do you in that situation?

It's not long after that that a MMT staff randomly appears in the middle of our line and asks us to pull out our tickets. In black Sharpie, she permanent marker-s out 5-digit ticket number in big fat letters that cover the entire back of our hand: GA#_SEC #_3-digit SEAT#. I feel like I'm getting assigned an inmate number. As she's branding me, I'm wondering how bad it would look tomorrow at work. (Believe me, I scrubbed at it HARD after I got home, but they don't call it permanent for nothing. It was definitely a conversation started the next day... "hey, whose extension number did you pick up over the weekend?" LMAO NO, thank god no one asked that. I did, however, receive compliments on my nails and husky post-concert voice. AND I walked around that Monday with a slight limp in my step from soreness. It looked like I got fucked up real nice Sunday night, which I did...by EIGHT GODS...COUNT 'EM!)

The intent behind the numbers was to preserve lining up in ticket order. We had to self-sort ourselves (ha) by the first two digits on our hand. Since all the GA5 people were together, we really only looked at the second number. But no one cared to sort by the third digit, the seat number, so it ended up being sorted by ticket by the first two digits and then FCFS for the last three. We pretty much had to climb over each other just to organize ourselves by this one section number. THERE ARE SOOO MANY BETTER WAYS TO IMPLEMENT THIS

There were three Japanese girls behind me who were very much tourists and didn't speak English. I really hope they didn't fly from Japan to NY just for this concert...

Overall, the demographics of the lines are probably 95% girls (65% of which is Asian) and 5% guys (yeah, representttt). Age-wise, I’d say 50% high school or younger, 30% college, and then 18% twenties, 2% older. (This is excluding parents who are roped into accompanying their child.)

It's already 5:45 and the lines are still at a standstill and I'm wondering how dafuq the concert will start at 6:30. Soon after, GA3 starts moving, which unites everything in unnecessary cheer because we are fucking bored out of my minds and so sick of talking to the person beside us and any movement is entertaining. We're all screaming together, waving them goodbye excitedly, like sending them off on a great trip, only to see them move 5 feet. And OH, you two GA3 people are still near me. Well, HI, this is awkward...

Our line behind begins to move as well, albeit very, very slowly, but eventually (somehow) we're faster than GA3 as we near the doors and get to Security first, before they follow behind. In the barricade, the line was around 3 people wide, but with five different security stations long the entrance to the Prudential Center and no set lines to each station, it was a free for all. We streamed out of the metal gates like floodwater from a broken dam.

While I was waiting in line, I can see past Security, sprinting up the 50 steps entrance steps to reach the arena main floor. Not many chose to ride the escalator, for fear of giving up their precious GA spots. It was when I saw these people running and screaming with glee that it finally started to hit me, where I was and what I was doing. Shit, I was going to see EXO live. I'm really doing this. This is really happening.

Security involved us walking through a scanner with our arms raised--phone and keys in our hands, held above our heads. We had to drop off our bags on a table as personnel went through them. There was some light pushing and shoving just to get to Security. I can honestly say, I have never been so many eager to go through Security, so I could finally barrel up the steps and into the arena. I could feel the excitement in everyone. The lines were buzzing with energy, especially after having weathered the bipolar drizzle and being stacked against each other for so many hours.

I (purposefully?) tripped up the security guy because I brought the binoculars in a black bag and I KNEW it was going to grab his attention. He probably thought it was a camera and had some schadenfreuden pleasure in catching me with it but HA, NOT A CAMERA MERONG~. I bet he was very disappointed HAHA I GET THE LAST LAUGH HAHAHAHAHA

There was a separate area for people to drop off their bookbags, since they're not allowed in. They didn't force us to take off our jackets though (which I presume would've made waiting in lines even longer) and people TOTALLY could've gotten things in...

Once we passed through Security, there was yet ANOTHER line at one of 4 stations, where people got wristbands for their ticket section. GAs were all yellow. Seated tickets were lining up at another location so they weren't involved in this madness at all, but I later saw them with blue and green wristbands. After we are tagged with the wristband, we then have to wait in line until they allowed us to barge up the steps and into the actual arena. There was so much anticipation at this point, like a herd of angry bulls waiting to be released. We're pretty much pushing against each other at this point to get close as possible to behind the waiting line.

And then, we're off! The security person lets us up and I take two steps at a time all the way up to the upper platform. And I'm a little bit lost at first because there are no signs anywhere of what's where, but I see swarms of people at the merchandise place on my left, purchasing EXO posters and other goods. I wander to the right, cutting across an empty snack bar, that I wasn't even sure I was allowed through and then…

OMG IT’S THE FUCKING STAGE!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLAILFLAILFLAILFLAILFLAIL

I take a moment to snap a quick pic and freak out internally because the screen with EXO’luXion (I still have to look at my lightstick right now to figure out how the fuck that's even spelled) is glowing in white and lavender against the black screen. And I can see the dust particles being lit by the screen and it almost feels ethereal, like I'm walking into a mist, an unknown place, a fantasy.

After a brief lapse, I’m directed to take the stairs down through the seated seats. The pathway down is in some fucking obscure area. Seriously, the layout and directions here were no good. If there weren't loud people in front of me, I totally would have missed the pathway to walk down. I keep my composure as I take steady steps down. Now would not be the time to fall down 50 steps. Remember now, I'm all about being cool~ Keep your cool, pretend you're not seeing EXO, pretend you're not seeing FUCKING EXO, preten--HOLY FUCK IM WALKING DOWN TO THE PIT WHERE I'LL SEE EXOOOOOOOOOOO

I enter the pit, which is surprisingly civil (at this point) and surprisingly small and very, very close to the stage. I'd say I'm about twenty feet out, maybe 15 people deep into the pit. I pull out my binoculars to test, but it zooms in far too much. I'm too close to the stage for it the be very useful. (Ha, would have NEVER thought I'd be saying that when I purchased it this morning.)

Everyone is just standing there chatting leisurely, actually quite calm. It's 6:38pm exact and people are still trickling in and nearly half the seats are empty, showing no signs of filling up soon, and I'm just standing there, just inhaling this entire atmosphere and it is surreal. Even if the concert hadn't started. It's absolutely unreal. I can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm seeing EXO. WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO BE DREAMING I AM SO LUCKY. HOW ARE THERE SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND LOVE EXO. I MUST BE DREAMING

I hear some people around me complaining about not being able to see at all (soz). I couldn't see the floor of the stage, but I was sure I'd see their faces. Some people decide to step back where they're away from the immediate crowd and can get a full view of the stage without fighting to see over heads. I decided if I'm going to be in the pit, I might as well get as close as I get. I paid for the crazy, might as well be part of it.

I stood there and admired all the EXO gear and all the fan signs and light sticks that everyone had, and I was starting to get so bummed that I didn't have a light stick and that I wouldn't be able to contribute my smallest share to the ocean of lights. Man, if I weren't already so devoid of emotions by then, I most definitely would have cried right then and there. It's dark and no one knows you. It's the perfect setting to cry, lbr.

I stand there for maybe five minutes but then I get antsy and don't really have anyone to talk to and momma tired and momma aint lookin to make friends and I start checking my phone and MMT tweets that they have merchandise for pick up inside the stadium before the concert. WHAT?!?! THIS IS THE KIND OF FLIP FLOPPITY MISCOMMUNICATION I'M TALKING ABOUT but I'm not complaining this time. I briefly wonder if I'm going to lose my spot in the pit if I leave but it's a fleeting thought as I'm charging back up the steps to the pick up area which was…EXACTLY THAT AREA I PASSED WHEN I FIRST ENTERED THE ARENA. You know that place that was selling merchandise? Yeah, it was right fucking there and I missed it when I first walked in >:(

I was so nervous waiting in line for my light stick because what if someone took my spot in the pit? What if in the two minutes I'm gone 1000 people flood the pit and I'm relegated to the back? WHAT IF????? I finally pick up the stick and the lady tells me to test it out before leaving because I get no refund after I leave the area if it’s damaged. I literally rip open the packaging which is a feat in and of itself because the paper insert is taped tightly against a hard plastic sleeve and I pretty much bend peel the plastic back to get the lightstick, slicing up my fingers pretty splendidly, but WHO CARES OMG MY LIGHSTICK!!! I turn it on, and I gasp out loud, and it is so beautifulllllll. Seriously, apart from my EXO-tainted view, the design of it is really quite nice with the gradation of white reflectors A+++++

Armed with my lightstick, my arm, no my entire body now feels complete, and there's no more nagging worries on my mind and I can finally relax, which means....trip to the bathroom! I do my business (#1 if you were ACTUALLY curious ahem) and I'm about to wash my hands when I suddenly hear a collective roar of screams outside and I'm like LOL FUCK SANITATION and I sprint out the bathroom door without washing my hands. (If you want to un-friend me now, I understand.)

I find out that it's only a video playing, but I fly down the steps and try not combust into a cloud of shrieks as I wedge myself back into the crowd. I can feel the energy growing even when the vid is nothing but glorifed propaganda, and the murmurs are getting louder as everyone watches the audition recruitment video. And people start screaming when Lay starts talking and when they advertise the US audition locations and then whenever their favorite bands show up as part of the SM brainwashing. I'm not really diehard into any other groups, so I just kinda stood there emotionless, waiting for everything to pass and for people to calm their tits, waiting for EXO to actually SHOW THE FUCK UP

And then the video ends and we returned to watching the banners of ads scroll across the arena. Some of these ads are brightly colored and it's obvious they're ads. The funnier thing one is the ad in white letters against a black background. When it switches to this darker ad, the entire concert floor gets noticeably darker because of the ad is majority black, and people think that the concert has started because it's gotten dimmer and there’s a hush that falls over everyone. And then a few seconds pass and we realize, it’s the fucking ad again and the general dull roar resumes. It happens EVERY single time, it's so funny. I was so entertained by this. I'm starting to think that I was getting a bit delusional from my solitude...

Someone near me finds the EXO V app live stream and a few crowd around her to watch. I am so surprised by how she discovered it. Was she refreshing the app constantly?...because this was an unannounced broadcast. After the concert, I go back to watch it and Baekhyun is so precious passed out on the couch, sleeping with his legs spread wide open. Kai's "mollayo, chicken burrito-eyo (✿ ^o^ ✿)" is too fucking cute I want to reach into the screen to pinch his little cheeks. I can't believe this happened behind the stage. They were such babies in the vid and then they come out to perform Overdose with so much masculine charm.

After a while, the same SM audition tape plays again and for the new people who had joined the arena, they cheer intensely like our first time and we go through exactly the same applause pattern again. People are still trickling in at this point, either from the line outside or returning from having purchased merchandise. The arena that’s now becoming more filled is beginning to pulse with anticipation. It’s around 6:45pm and it feels like a fucking lifetime that I've been standing there, and I am so bored staring at the ads scrolling across and I’m starting to think that maybe the concert will never start and that maybe they just roped us into this pit area to gather for an informal EXO conference for fans. We'd all be gathered here, standing very closely to each other, voting on and searching up EXO music videos on a desktop that would appear on the screen, and we'd watch and sing their songs together. That's all we'd do. We would be both the audience and the performers for three fucking hours.

The suspicion doesn't last long though, because eventually, it comes.

It’s around 6:50 when the lights start to dim, and the improbable dream begins…

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

EXO PLANET #2: The EXO'luXion in New York (Fan Account -- Concert)

bhaniere — Sat, 26 Mar 2016 19:40:58 GMT

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS

► CONCERT

1. Opening VCR
The video starts with a History-esque styling with Overdose motifs talking about mysterious objects and EXO origins and things, most of which I didn't understand. I'm too busy screaming and hyperventilating to bother with comprehension. I also couldn't see the subtitles nor hear the narrator over all the cheering, so that probably didn't help either. I did try to absorb the content of the material, but I'm mostly asking what the fuck is going on and also freaking out because the concert is starting it's fucking starting THE EXO CONCERT IS STARTING I’M GOING TO SEE THEM IN PERSON NOW AND THEY'RE GOING TO BE LESS THAN 20 FEET AWAY FROM ME AND OH MY GODDDDDD

And slowly, slowly, a closet obsessive hormonal teenager swallows the cool city girl.

And then the members started showing up in their 1985 uniforms in the video, and the first was Baekhyun and he appeared so suddenly I didn't recognize him, but I was warned by Goddess X beforehand that it was him, and I went lights out and screamed my head off for him. I kind of scared myself with how loud I was. And I cheered for my other favorites and at the closing shot with all of EXO. I had been waiting too long for this concert to start and at this point, I will scream at anything remotely related to EXO. It is strange expressing my adoration for them out loud because I've always had to keep it hidden within me. And knowing everyone else here is in the same boat as me, all my EXO feelings are finally released.

The video was a good four minutes long. Keep in mind that I never watched the entire concert list before nor had I memorized the setlist, so I had no idea when they were coming on stage. Every second, I was preparing for them to appear and time and time again they didn't, but my heart still raced with the hope they would in the next second. I was so hyped up by the thrill of the unknown, I thought I was going to explode, because the stage started filling with smoke and there were lights shining around and an operatic "Exo'luxion" chant in the background. And logically, it felt like a buildup to their opening. They were going to show up, right?

But then it devolves into some techo dubstep music thing with black and white psychedelic swirls that I suppose was to pump us up even more but DUDE I was already all spent by then. And that piece was around two minutes, but it felt like ten and it was so fucking long and I was just standing there asking what the fuck is going on (I did that a lot) and wondering if EXO was ever going to show up. I'm kind of glaring at the stage and hating SM for teasing us like this.

I was so fucking tired already and I could already feel my throat straining...and I'm not even 15 minutes into the concert lol. I was already maxed out with excitement and it kept on leaving me hanging, after so many rounds of intense buildup and no release and god, it was so frustrating!!!

And then the music ends with a bright white screen and then it goes black and there's a white glow between the screens and it slowly slides open and the cheers increase (and l ALMOST thought they were going to dupe us again)...

And the screens slide open and there they were standing there, as dark shadows and I couldn't breathe. Even as I saw them through arms holes and in between heads, they were absolutely magnificent. And then the lights came on. They were perched there like gods and the venue erupted.

*NEW YOOOOOOORKK!!!" (Baekhyun? yells).

There was barely a second to breathe before they started and fuck, I was not ready.

2. Overdose (Remix)

Come in.

I went bananas. It was surreal. It's really happening. I'm really watching EXO perform live. Holy fuck. They are so shiny. They’re just so painfully real, it's almost like someone's making me watch something that's overly sharpened. And I can't realize this fast enough and they almost feel like they're moving in slow motion but at the same time they’re moving too quickly because I'm still trying so hard to study and process something they did ten seconds ago and now they’re already on their second chorus.

The noise during the performance though loud, was not deafening. I think most of us were still trying to recover from shock.

When the opening video started, there was still some elbow room between us pit dwellers, but now with the boys actually fucking on the stage, there's a sudden surge forward and we're now pressed together like sardines. No one near my area complained too much though because ain't nobody got time to complain when we're all feasting our eyes on these perfect men before us. We changed from civilized to absolutely insane in less than five seconds. I can't say it wasn't comedic.

I don't even know what the fuck EXO was singing about anymore, I was just screaming and jumping around for a view of my darling Baekhyun, while everyone else was doing the exact same for their favorites.

Honestly, the view wasn't that great, especially as a million phones sprouted up from the crowd, so I ended up watching through some screens of phones and taking peeks of the members whenever there was a gap.

They were performing at the back of the stage, so I could only vaguely identify people by their hair and silhouettes. I don't remember much from the performance other than being stunned that they were there. I don't think I recovered from this shock until around Playboy.

I was falling in love and blessing the heavens for Baekhyun's shiny black hair and watching it move from the glimpses I could grab. It took me a bit to realize it was him because he had brown hair even at the Gaon awards days earlier, but fuck, Baek with black hair is so fucking glorious. Baekhyun is living and breathing and moving in front of me. He's not a dream. He's real. He's real. He's fucking real.

My mind was black and white TV snow fuzzies the entire time because I was physically unable to compute anything flashing by before me. I barely blinked, barely breathed, and they were onto the next performance. Holy FUCKKKKK.

3. History

Watching people record, I couldn't help not tape either, so I whipped out my phone and wove myself into the mob of people. Once all the initial jostling stopped, I stood slightly to the right of center stage. When the Opening VCR started, everyone was still normal height, but when the performances started I swear to god everyone fucking grew six inches. And the crowd has suddenly gotten incredible cozy with each other; I can feel all the lumps and bumps of the people all four directions of me. The only way to see now was to stand on my tip toes.

I honestly don't remember much from the actual performance but I remember seeing Baek performing and thinking back to his baby debut performances and being so proud of how much he's grown (well, really everyone else as well). He's matured into an amazing, intelligent performer. The group has changed so much from four years ago :')))))

They're still so shiny and bright, and no, it's not just their tinsle-y yellow gold jackets. They must be magical.

I think by this time, more of the crowd had woken up from their shock and gradually, the screams got louder and more in unison.

4. ~~El Dorado~~ MAMA

I am disappointed that we didn't get to see the El Dorado performance. Probably because it is just way too much stuff to bring into the US and the arenas are much smaller compared to the Asian ones. I'm sad I don't get to see sexy Baekhyun take center stage and belt out those high notes. During the concert, I barely noticed this absence though because I was just overcome with anticipation for their next piece. I didn't care what it was. I just wanted to see them on the stage performing.

Like History, I kept overlaying my memory of their 2012 stages with I'm seeing now and it's a completely different vibe. They're owning the stage now and I'm so fucking proud of them.

I also have special feelings towards this song because this is the vid that finally convinced me to stan Baek because of his eye makeup in the MV is so fucking pretty and there was that high note that highlights the beautiful veins in his neck.

All fanchant things just went out the window for me, not only for this song but pretty much the entire concert. I just sang every word with them or screamed irrationally when my I didn't know the words (the more often case).

5. Ment #1

They walk out towards us and fuckkkk they are so close to us. Holy fuckkkkkkk. At this point, we're all going nuts and they each introduce themselves. And we're pressed even further up the stage, tighter against each other, if it were even possible.

I just remember DO being so fucking squishy and smiling at us with his googly eyes. And Kai is standing there like a god and there's a beautiful sheen of sweat coating his face and fuckkkk it is absolutely divine.

Suho speaks so much in English during this part. It's really so endearing how hard he's trying. We're all screaming and in blissful disbelief and the mood feels so amazing, right? Ha.

Chanyeol picks up the mic to tell us to take one step back and that shut us up in two seconds and after much reluctance we take half a step back. They kind of watch us, waiting for us to move and we just wobbled in place and called it moving. Really there wasn't anywhere to go because the people behind us weren't moving. They stared at us encouragingly and the stands were chanting "one step back" and we just pretended to move before looking back up at them again. Maybe if we stared at each other for long enough they'd let us be. I think after a while, they gave up on us.

As soon as their ment ends and the music for the next piece plays and fling ourselves forward and squish together again, erasing all the progress we made before, all half-step of it. Because FUCK SAFETY, MY BABIESSSS I NEED TO BE SO CLOSE TO THE STAGE I CAN SEE THEIR STUBBLE. HOW DO YOU TELL US TO BACK UP WHEN WE'VE WAITED FOR YEARS TO SEE THEM? Please do not assume that any of us will act rationally in front of EXO. The security team hated us so hard because we pretty much ignored them baek percent of the time and I'm sure the seated folks were side-eyeing us for not listening and interrupting the concert with our behavior, but really, it's incredibly hard to fight that raw desire.

6. Don’t Go

One of my favorite songs! I was still pretty far back so I couldn't see clearly but from just reliving it through my phone video, Baekhyun is so absolutely beautiful. I wanted to see his beautiul butterfly fingers flutter away into the sky, but Xiumin, Suho, and DO were mostly in front of me. I didn't pay too much to them as I spent all my efforts trying to hunt down Baek. He was facing the right side, so I could only see his profile. He is so pretty. Even from the side, he is perfect.

Fuck, I love this song though. I was trying to film a steady shot and sing and wave my light stick and find Baek all at the same time. THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL

7. Playboy

There were maybe three seconds to transition from the innocent Don't Go stage to this provocative Playboy stage, haha. Baekhyun's hips are so smooth omg. On the stage, eventually, they all receded except Sehun and Kai. I caught glimpses of Kai/Sehun dancing, but nothing steady enough to send anything spastic through me. No one pair was easily visible from where I was, so I was just listening to the much and envisioning their dance.

8. Baby Don't Cry

DO, Baekhyun, and Suho were singing in the back of the stage. Because I'm a shit fan, I didn't even know what song this setup was for. When I realized Baek was singing, I tried so hard to listen for his voice because I couldn't see shit from where I was. And then suddenly Chanyeol, from the middle of nowhere, starts walking towards us rapping. Ugh fuck his voice is so deep fuckkkkk

The song continues and suddenly Kai is stalking towards us with his draggy feet and he starts to dance in front of us and I am completely surprised because I didn't even know this was part of the song (see: "shit fan").

Fuck, seeing him dance is so fucking beautiful. There's emotion and expression coarsing through every inch of his body. Every gesture is meaningful and I thought I was going to melt. Fuckkkkkk you're playing with my heart I LOVE YOU JONGIN YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AGHH FUCKKKKK

Sehun also danced but it was towards the back of the stage, so I couldn't see him all that well. I just blindly cheered because it was Sehun and also that his shirt was barely buttoned and his body mHMMMMMMmmmm yes ma'am.

9. My Answer

BAEKHYUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ON PIANOOOOOOOOOO I about died—okay I did die—when I heard the first piano notes being played. Ugly sobbing, Baekhyun, you are so perfect. I was just standing there in awe watching him play and sing, even though I could only make out a head and arms and not any of the features on his face. Instead of focusing on getting a better view, I closed my eyes and drowned myself in Baek's smooth voice and his beautiful piano playing.

Everyone was singing along which was really nice and sweet. My answer is you, BAEKHYUNNNNNNN~ ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

I was also trying to film over the head of a guy with a sick coif—it was gelled and maybe 6 inches tall, so fuck, my arms were so sore trying to raise my phone over that guy's head and not squish his hair.

The performance was really satisfying though. I feel like I've waited my whole life to see this. Well, I have technically because every guy I know irl has too much pride to show emotion and sensitivity to bother with this. A cute boy serenading me (and thousands of others but shhh) on piano with a slightly husky voice so full of emotionnnn FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK YOU BAEKHYUNNN HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO DESTROY ME TODAY (plenty more, he says, plenty, plenty more)

10. VCR (My Turn to Cry) – boys fucking with our lives with all that eye contact

The arena darkens to pitch black and it's silent for a few seconds and everyone's waiting and then suddenly the translator's voice is overheard. She scolds us (pit people) for not leaving room for each other and tells us to give each other space and we all just kind of stand there and didn't move. Security then comes in and tells us to back up. But ha, like hell, we’re listening to them. It was dark so they couldn't see anything, and I think we just moved in place for a bit.

It did get slightly stuffy/hot and Security sprayed water on us by sprinkling bottles of water across the crowd to cool us down. Sometimes the spray wasn't even, so some people got the full force of the water, which was shocking because it's in the dark and suddenly you've been splashed. It was a weird sensation to live with because every once in a while, there's randomly wetness on your face and can only assume that it's water and pretend like it's not even there because you can't even move to wipe your face, everyone's so jammed together. They also shined flashlights into our eyes to catch anyone with signs of overheating and fainting. This happened throughout the concert.

I was so glad the VCR played because FUCKING FINALLY a break. The performances up to this point had been back to back to back and my mouth and brain was already firing on overdrive and I thought I was going to short circuit. This finally gave me a chance to gather myself and stop my head from swirling for a bit, and also to rest my arms which were getting a hefty workout. Not only was I exhausted just from the sheer hype and my emotions alone, but watching them perform also felt physically exhausting. We’re not even a third way in and I’m already feeling this. Does this mean I’m getting old...

Even though I was so tired at this point, I screamed my heart out at Baek and Kai’s part in the VCR. Baek, YOU CAN HAVE A MILLION DO-OVERS WHEN WE PLAY JENGA JUST DON’T LEAVE ME FOR FUCKS SAKE DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE THAT FUCKING TABLE WE’RE PLAYING WITH THESE WOODEN BLOCKS UNTIL FOREVER

11. The Star

They’re in the back of the stage in those sexy crimson suits, so I couldn’t see them that well (how many times have I repeated this).

But I think during this point, Security came into the crowd to grab someone, so I was distracted by that commotion and didn’t really pay attention to the performance. A girl a few people ahead of me was literally lifted out of the crowd and then dragged away on the side. She wasn’t responsive, but not because she was unconscious, but because it all happened to quickly, she couldn't even react. She could have either needed medical help or was a fs noona, but I have a strong inkling it was the latter.

12. Exodus

Again, WHY are they at the back of the stage WHYYYYY?!!? I wanted so desperately to see Baek’s sexy finger wagging and hip thrusts but I could barely make out where he was. So, I think I just watched one of the monitors and sang along, dying a little inside that I couldn’t see him.

13. Hurt

YESSSS this song. They moved slightly closer from before, but I could only barely find Baek from behind the walls of camera phones and light sticks. Eventually, they walk out to the extended stage and I think I saw Baek’s body waves because his stage placement was near me according to video footage, but I don’t recall witnessing any of it. I probably blacked out from lust overdose during that time.

He was also standing there when he hit the high note for the song. I’m always so proud when he gets to showcase his vocals like that. BABYYYYYY YOU ARE A SUPERSTAR

14. VCR – Coffee Elf Workshop

I didn't watch much of this, other than Baekhyun's part in bed because Security came at us again...

We had to split into blocks of around ten people deep and keep a separation between the group in front of us so that there was a walkway. Instead, we hesitated and feigned ignorance, kind of looking at each other, daring each other to be the first to actually follow directions. I think we were also scared that they would start taking away our camera phones if we didn’t listen to them, so eventually, we had to move.

We took tiny microscopic baby steps back, just to show that there was movement so they would stop telling us to keep stepping back. They gave up on us after a while because we were moving so begrudgingly and also that the VCR was ending and you know as soon as the boys come out, we’re all rushing towards the front again. Shoo, I'm not sacrificing once cm for EXO.

It was ironic having the really chipper VCR music playing in the background while Security is yelling at us and we’re all just really pissed and shooting them death glares at each other.

Security aside, during the VCRs and momentary breaks, water people would come through the pit crowd with a pack of water bottles raised above their heads, selling it for $5 (!w!t!f!). Where the fuck did they even come from and how the fuck did they even make it through the crowd?

15. Peter Pan

The music started and we’re screaming at their adorable antics and the anticipation of the strip tease behind a paper wall.

At this point, there's a fs noona who gets dragged out of the crowd. She was maybe two to three heads away from me. Like the person before, he yanks her up from the crowd without a word and she has this bewildered look on her face because one minute she's staring through camera lens at handsome men and the next moment she's airborne and staring down at plebian female heads. It was really shocking. I was honestly almost waiting for my phone to be snatched too because it's so obvious with smartphones that are filming but everyone was doing it. It seemed like they were only targeting pro cameras that day.

So THAT aside, for the fan service part, Chanyeol picked at Xiumin’s shirt to pretend to lift it up before walking to Suho and forcibly loosening a few buttons at the collar of the leader’s shirt and then we walked back to Chen and forced Xiumin to kiss Chen’s cheek.

The crowd kind of went nuts but I have no feelings towards any of the parties involved so I just stood there unamused waiting for the moment where I could be graced by Baek’s presence again lol

16. XOXO

At this point, I swear my head was about to fall off, I had spent more than an hour, straining my neck from tilting my head upwards to look over heads of others on my tip toes. My neck muscles had started to spazz and I couldn’t even lift up my head anymore. I had to lean it against one of my shoulders to even see any fraction of the stage. I wanted so much to let my head drop to rest it but why the fuck would I ever do that and miss EXO, so I alternated balancing my head back and forth between my shoulders. I’m sure the person behind me thought I was nuts.

I could tell that the shots for my vids were becoming increasingly shaky as my arms and neck behind to tire. I tried to stand on my tip toes again to get a better look and compensate for the shakiness, but my calves were really sore and I couldn’t stay up for more than a few seconds at a time.

I didn’t know what the next piece was but I was really hoping for a break. For a split second, I wondered if my neck would start hurting so much that I'd faint and/or would be lifted up Security. I also wondered if I was going to have to listen to the rest of the concert with my head down if my neck couldn’t hold it up anymore. Needless to say, I don’t remember too much detail from the music because I was tending to my neck that felt like it was going to break in half any second.

We sucked at most fanchants and any cohesive actions up to this point, but the audience definitely got the “XOXO” and “L-O-V-E” part right for this one haha

17. Lucky

At the conclusion of the previous song, the screams reached a whole ‘nother level because they were heading towards the paper screens to strip and we’re all a bunch of shameless pervs. There were some backstage crew lined up on either side to prevent any mishaps and overexposure NO WHY ARE YOU THERE WHY CAN’T WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE FUN HERE A LITTLE NIP SLIP NEVER HURT ANYONE

They were much too far away for me to see any detail of anything. I couldn’t make out where Baek was </3 and I didn't bother trying to perv on anyone else

After EXO breaks out of their dressing panels and rush to the front of the stage, it's Kai and Chanyeol standing in front of me OH MY GOD they are tall and lean and majestic and so beautiful. I know I say that pretty much every other line but seriously, they are exactly how they look in photos. And they’re so close. It's unbelievable.

They are also jumping around with so much energy and I’m trying to fight through the pain and jump with them but I honestly thought my head was going to roll off very, very soon.

18. 3.6.5

SO MANY HAPPY SONGS BUT I FEEL LIKE DEATH ATM FUCKKKKKKKKK I’M SO SORRY EXO BABIES THAT I CAN’T GO ALL OUT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW

Everyone is really hyped up at this point and super happy. It's like spring has come after winter (the previous set of dark Overdose era music).

Suho comes to the area and sings to us through a big smile and warm eyes, and he’s waving his arm as he performs. I swear to god I made eye contact with him like a passing 0.01 second I KNOW SUCH A DEEP CONNECTION MUST WRITE HOME ABOUT IT

Chanyeol also performs in front of my area, and I can see the different shades of his gray/platinum hair and it is surreal how close I am. He’s so charismatic when he’s rapping and he keeps returning to my side and it’s crazy that he’s moving and breathing in front of me. I feel like I could have reached out and touched him.

19. Ment #2

They line up by the edge of the stage and holy fuck they are so close to us. Baekhyun is right in front of my eyes OMGGGGGGGGGG. The members start talking but the people around me are loud as fuck so I could only catch smatterings of Korean and English here and there. I had no idea what they were saying and I don’t think the people around me planned to either because they kept calling out members' names and screaming.

They talked a bit about the places they visited. Suho and Chanyeol kept caling Soho, “Soho Street” haha aww very cuuute. Chanyeol also said he tried a hot dog at Times Square and said it was pretty good. I kinda side-eyed him because I'm positive he was just being nice. There is no way in hell that thing was good.

Suho spoke really, really fantastic English. I really appreciate that he did that for us because I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Chanyeol also spoke in English, though it was more stuttered, but very adorable nonetheless.

And of course, Suho ended with another cry for safety, to which at least us pit people chuckled at because at this point, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Baekhyun stepped forward and gestured with his hand to push us back YES BABY I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU BUT I AM SO CONFLICTED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY WANT TO MOVE FURTHER AWAY FROM YOU

Later, something flew into Baek’s mouth while Suho was beginning to mention the next set of MiD songs, so he was picking at his mouth and playing with his lips and there is probably spit on his beautiful little fingers and FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK BAEK YOU CAN WIPE THOSE FINGERS ON ME IF YOU NEED HELP DRYING THEM

Suho asked us what we did for Christmas and we all stared back at him blankly because it was so fucking random and no one knew how to answer. It was awkwardly funny in typical Suho fashion. There was a pregnant pause while Suho waited for us to answer and we waited for him to move on because clearly that remark didn't resound and instead, died painfully.

Baek didn’t say much during this time but you can bet I was burning holes into him with how hard I was staring, trying to tattoo him into my memory—his beautiful fingers, his fluffy hair, his flawless skin, his honey thighs, his adorable antics, his bright smile...

20. Christmas Day

Chen, DO, and Chanyeol sang in front of my section, which was interspliced with Kai’s dancing.

Watching Kai dance is like having a thousand orgasms at once, like dripping sin across your skin and watching it slide around your curves and edges. It is so ugh fuck idk JUST EVERYTHING. Even when he moved further away, you can bet your life savings that my eyes were trained on him.

21. First Snow

Xiumin faced my side for most of the stage and it was freaky how closely I could see him--his eyebrows and his feline eyes and styled hair. We're more than halfway through the concert but I still can't believe how close I am to them.

Sehun was also standing by us at one point and you know I was shamelessly ogling the fuck out of him. His features are so sharp as if he walked straight out of a magazine--his brows, his eyes, his nose, his jaw, and his beautiful slinky body--FUCKKKK YOU ARE SO FINEEEEE FUCK LET ME CLIMB ALL OVER YOU OH SEHUN

At one point, Baekhyun comes to my side and waves his arm back and forth to the beat of the song and the sway of our light sticks. And then that fucker starts waving only to the right side, messing me up (and I’m sure others) who were waving our sticks from left to right. Now, instead of a steady bobbing wave, there’s a collision of lights and it’s heavily lopsided towards the right. By the time I had reoriented myself to only go to the right, he started waving only to the left. I glared at him so hard for fucking with me like that, but then I HADDDD to follow him (BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WILL FOLLOW HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH), before he decided to actually be normal and wave from left to right again. I won’t forget Baek's satisfied smirk and glittering eyes though. He was standing right there in front of me. BAEKHYUN YOU ARE AN ANGEL, PROBABLY THE MOST ANNOYING ANGEL OF THEM ALL, but angel and otherworldly nonetheless.

22. Miracles in December

When the music started playing, the crowd suddenly erupted, having woken up from hibernation by a long-awaited mainstream song.

This was the song that got me into EXO and I can’t even count how many hundreds of times I’ve played it, so listening to the song in person was extra, extra special for me.

It was too bad that Baekhyun was singing to the right side of the stage, so I couldn’t watch him perform. Maybe this was for the better because I probably would have died right then and there if he was singing in my direction instead.

Chen sang in front of me, which was not bad, but I couldn’t help but yearn for Bucheon and hope that somehow he’d turn and walk towards me...he didn’t :(

I sang every word of the damn song and it was so therapeutic and surreal to hear it live. Something I had always watched over the internet has now been somehow materialized in front of me. It's a little freaky.

23. Full Moon

Xiumin and Chanyeol came out to warm us up. Chanyeol shouts passionately into his mic “kkok aranaegesseo (꼭 알아내겠어)! ” and expectantly, turns the mic over to us for the response. He’s met with dead silence and it’s fucking hilarious because I don’t think too many people knew what was going on. He tried it again and there was a very, very faint proper response of “wanbyeokhan areumdaum (완벽한 아름다움)”.

To be honest, I couldn’t even place where that line was from either and it wasn’t until Machine began playing later on that I realized that’s where it originated from ㅠㅠ

After realizing that we were all shit fans, they tried to teach us and it was so failtastic. Xiumin and Chanyeol demonstrated once (quite quickly because Korean is obviously sooooo easy duh) and then practiced with us. Our response came out mostly sounding like “WANBYEOKHAN Arumdumdmumfmfpggmgmfgmgg” the first time. The duo repeated the interchange again but we still didn’t catch the pronunciation, and it barely improved, so it ended up being much the same, “WANBYEOKHAN ARUM dabcedfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz12345678910ilovebaekhyun5ever”. I think they gave up trying to correct our mumbly jumbly mess and needed to move on, so they just said “good job” to be nice. We sounded terrible.

And of course, they had to remark about safety... YES OKAY I GOT IT BUT THAT’S NOT GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE SPEAKING TO DEAF EARS RIGHT NOW

Chanyeol talks about needing to introduce ourselves to those around us and greeting each other for the next section of songs and the translator says “for this next part you need some intimacy with each other” (!). We had always looked ahead to the stage this entire time and never spared a second glance towards the fellow attendees beside us, but we sure did now, as our eyes bugged out and we laughed at each other like "haha, as if I'm going to fuck you". Good one, translator noona. Good one.

And then the rave starts which by kicks off by far, the best section of the concert. PARTY WAS DOOOOOOOOOPE

It took me a while to realize what they were singing was a rift of Two Moons but it was so fucking good. Chanyeol rapping is fucking hot lemme tell ya. I was also impressed by how much Xiumin could command the stage.

I am jamming so hard at this point, the pain in my neck faded a bit, but oh would it come roaring back afterwards (more on that later).

24. Machine

We finally get to repeat the phrase that we had to so painfully learn earlier and when those lines came up, I don’t think we even realized it was our cue, so nearly all of us missed it the first time and it was only lukewarm the second. I think they were a little disappointed in us and thought we were duncecaps or suffered from short-term memory loss.

Sehun was dancing in front of my area (FUCKKKKKK) for a bit before Chanyeol raps to my part of the crowd. I know I’ve repeated this to death but Chanyeol is so close. If I climbed over a few people and leaped, I could have grabbed him.

25. Drop That

How do they have so much energy though!?!?! They’ve been going non-stop and are still bouncing around with smiles. It was such a happy go-lucky time jumping around with them and shouting “E-X-O” in unison. It was so freeing. It was so unexpected for me. All their previous performances (minus Full Moon) had been so choreographed and this one was so loose. The beat was amazing and it gently coaxed everyone out of their shells. By the end, we were all jumping around and screaming and rubbing up against each other as if we hadn't been lectured about safety and space a billion times before.

26. Let Out the Beast (Remix)

The song starts out standard but HOLY SHIT THE BUILD UP IN THE SECOND PART OF THIS SONG TO THE RAVE WAS SO BOMB. FUCKKKKK, THAT PART WAS SO GOOD. I DON’T THINK I’VE PARTIED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE. EXO, LET’S GO OUT SOMETIME AND PLAY, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

The blue and green neon lights, the awesome techno and the buildup were so, so great. I felt so high during this part and the energy was off the hizzzzzies (am I dating myself...) !!! Everyone was all so deliriously happy together.

Chen performed in front of me and he was rockin' it so hard. He pulled out all those guttural yells and it was great. He makes me laugh so hard.

27. Run Remix

RUN!!!! This song never fails to make me smile no matter what mood I’m in, and I was already so pumped from before, I couldn’t wait to sing and bop along with them on sugary clouds to this one.

The members prance around like kids as they sing, and then we get to the second half of the song, which was easily the highlight of the concert for me.

The EDM bass buildup combined with the tension mounting since Drop That and the reality of just being there with these darling boys, singing and dancing together in happiness and sharing our love, all of that culminated and released into an explosion of gold streamers and white confetti over my head.

If there was ever a perfect manifestation of pure ecstasy, this was it.

Because sometimes I feel like I love them so much that I could just explode and if I did, that’s exactly what my insides would look like—organs of shiny gold film and blood of white paper squares.

It was such a euphoric experience standing beneath the clouds of decoration and watching it rain all over me. Fuck, it was so beautiful. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting that moment, that spectacular climax, for a very, very long time.

I snatched two streamers as they floated downwards, but damn they were really fucking long, I had to reel it in like fish off the shoulders and through the hair of the person in front of me lol

The energy in the arena was amazing at this point. It took a while, but I think the audience finally woke up now. We were finally screaming our souls out, finally being as loud as I had hoped we would have been all this time.

28. VCR - Futuristic Parkour

To be quite frank, I'm still very confused with the purpose of this VCR with them in Overdose era styling and gray uniforms. It wasn't terribly exciting (especially compared to the hype from before), so I didn't watch most of it.

Mostly though, it was because my neck started hurting like hell again now that the adrenaline from the party stage had faded, so I rested it for most of the VCR by keeping my head down. For once, I’m not complaining about how incredibly long the VCR was. God, I really needed the break.

Also at this point, my camera started running out of memory so I'm scrambling to delete vids, photos, files, pretty much every folder in my phone that didn’t contain EXO. Everything else in life was secondary to EXO at that moment. I probably would have deleted some "baby's first walk" vids if I had any.

29. Call Me Baby

When the video footage of Kai’s beautiful legs appeared, we went wild, riding off our high from the previous performances. We were roaring and the loudness was so, so satisfying. EXO gets a deafening welcome at last.

Reinvigorated, we finally felt like a cohesive group that actually got our fanchants right and on time (although my mind completely blanked on fanchants when I saw them in front of me. Yeah, I know I'm a hypocrite shuddup). We were most definitely a different group of fans compared to before the party hype section. We were transformed.

I wanted so badly to see Baek’s bridge part because it is fucking sexy but they were performing at the back of the stage, so I could only spot glimpses of him :(

Never don’t mind about a thing! We shouted that part so loudly with Sehun. Oh maknae, I love you.

30. Growl Remix

YESSSSS THE SEXY DUBSTEP INTRO I was dying to see this live. It’s one of my favorite EXO arrangements. Once again, they performed in the back, so I saw very little of it (subsequently, very limited Baek spottings), which was quite unfortunate. I couldn't make out the detail, but witnessing their body forms moving to the music made me breathless. Why can’t they turn this into a full song? I’d listen the shit out of that.

Now, onto Growl...

SEXY!

Watching EXO perform this song was so surreal because it's what shot them to fame and what’s been showcased a million times, and I’ve also only experienced it from behind a screen, so watching this live was absolutely amazing. It was on a completely different level watching them dance and sing in front of me.

Motherbird thoughts again, I remember their stages from when the song first came out and they were still school boys but now, they perform it like men and goddd it’s so hot PLEASE EURUREONG EURUREONG EURUREONG ALL OVER ME. IT IS ALWAYS SO OEDIPUS-Y WITH THEM

I know I just called them all men, but I will always see Growl!Baek dancing with his red cap backwards as a cute mischievous boy dancing his little heart out to impress his school crush and SOB YOU ARE SO ADORABLE WITH YOUR FLUFFY MUSHROOM HAIR AND YOUR CUTE BUTT IN THOSE TIGHT BLACK PANTS AND THE WHITE SOCKS THAT PEEK THROUGH BELOW AND YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FIRST GRADER DO YOU KNOW THAT? I WANT TO GIVE YOU A LOLLIPOP AND TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME AND HELP YOU WITH YOUR MATH HOMEWORK AND SCIENCE PROJECTS AND I WILL MAKE YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FRIED RICE EVERYDAY HOW DOES THAT SOUND DO YOU WANT TO COME HOME WITH NOONA? PLEASE COME HOME WITH NOONA I'M BEGGING YOU ON MY KNEES

They perform at the front of the stage (thank you!!). Kai is smirking at us and playing with his hair and pointing at us and stripping off his jacket and YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU. NO ONE ASKED YOU NO ONE FUCKING ASKED YOU. FUCK YOU KIM JONGIN

We’re cheering so loudly for them and it finally feels like we, the fans, have united. We were maybe ten before, but WE ARE ONE now. Fanchant was awesome!!!

When the song ends, the lights go nearly out. EXO is kneeling or crouched except Kai and he opens his arms before taking a very gracious bow. The light is faint but his elegant movements are unmistakable. His crisp white shirt glows against the black background.

Kai’s bow also reminds me that the end is coming and that we'll all have to scatter and go our own ways soon, even when it feels like we’ve only started coming together now.

Though they were still so energetic, it was noticeable that they were already beyond exhausted (especially Jongin) ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ MY BABIESSSS <3333

At this point, my phone's memory is nearly gone. There’s not much more I could erase apart from concert footage to clear up enough storage. It was at this point that I end up accidentally deleting some of the hype footage from Run and the streamers party that I had just died over. I fucking hate myself.

31. Ment #3

EXO comes back towards the front of the stage again and it begins to feel more familiar. Like we made a connection during the last two songs and everyone’s a bit more comfortable with each other now.

Baek thanks us for attending and exceeding their expectations of turnout. He also makes (empty...ㅠㅠ) promises to return again. He’s in front of me, but I’m not really paying attention to what he’s saying. Instead, I’m just watching him, trying to commit everything to my mind, because I still can’t comprehend how he could even be there in person right now, and I want to have something to live off of for when I wake up from this dream. The concert’s almost over, but it still hasn’t sunk in. I still think he’s a hologram.

Xiumin asks for shouts from male fans and there’s a really low, barely audible roar that washes over the arena. It’s hilarious. Xiumin is shocked and I am too. Chanyeol comments that it’s like the military.

Suho says that it’s the last song and they’re all waving goodbye at us with smiles. NO STOP, IT’S NOT THE LAST ONE, DON’T LEAVE YET. WE’RE ONLY JUST GETTING STARTED!!! NOOOOOOOO

32. Love Me Right

Our fanchants in this one were fiercely ON POINT. Maybe because it was their last performance, we gave it our all to send them off with everything we had. The cheer and support could be heard from all three sides of the venue and surrounded EXO. It felt like we were all giving them a big warm group hug :’)

We all shouted Sehun’s “Shawty, Imma party til the sun down!” and then laughed at it with each other. Sehun, your one-liners are GOLD.

They looked so tired but they were still going at it lights out. Baek was up there dancing and singing his precious little heart out. He absolutely owned the stage during this song. His energy was infectious and even if you didn’t know anything about Baek’s personality, you could easily tell that this was one of his favorite songs from the line-up. He was radiating with joy.

Chen was jamming so hard during the song in front of me. He was hollering and overextending all his moves that it looked flaily and it was so adorable and hilarious. Bless his heart.

We were so into this song, I’m proud of how engaged we actually were with this piece and Growl.

They say goodbye and thank us and the lights go dark and the concert title screen appears on the panels again. It looks exactly like how it was when we first entered. After they disappear, there’s a good five seconds of silence. I think people were trying to recover, trying to realize that the concert was over. Well at least ignorant me thought it was. I was beginning to wonder if I should start heading out, but looking around, everyone else looked reluctant to leave.

The cleanup crew, shadows lit up by the white of the concert text on the panel, appeared with big brooms to sweep away the confetti in silence. I just watched them in confusion because didn’t they just say goodbye? Why are we still standing here? Some others begin to shout "Encore!", and soon the entire arena was echoing with this chant. I wondered if it was actually going to coax them back.

33. VCR - Promise

And then the video plays and I’m first overcome with relief, that at least the concert isn’t over just yet, that I can still say with them for a few minutes longer.

But it’s short-lived because Promise plays with captions of heartfelt messages to us, fans, and I want to cry because we are so undeserving of them. We treat them like shit but they still show us love and patience and why why why are they so good to us?

The black and white practice footage tears at my heart and from the slow, somber piano accompaniment emerges our unified chant of “WE ARE ONE!” echoing through the arena.

I’m so proud of them; I’m so blessed. Damn, I’m crying typing this up right now.

34. Sing For You

Purple and blue lights flicker on. There are big circular pink lanterns in the background and EXO and their perfect little selves are on stage. Whew, they’re still there. Fuck you very much for playing with me like that >:(

It’s like a farewell song. Each member who picks up the mic is greeted with loud, loud cheers of gratitude. We all sing together with the boys while waving our light sticks. I wonder how it looks from the stage. The sea of silver must be exquisite.

Singing together was a beautiful feeling. Especially because the song was so calming, I suddenly felt so warm and together with everyone else. It was like we were all swimming in our love for each other.

Chen stood in front of me for the song, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Baekhyun to my right. He was meticulously studying all of the faces to his side, with his arms behind is back, carefully taking us in. Thanks for recognizing us, Baekhyun, you beautiful soul.

Baek slowly walks towards the front stage and nears my spot. I could see how his eyes dart across our faces. He looks at us in so much detail, it feels like he’s searching for something. His eyes are sparkling and loving. He is so precious. I want to protect him in my bosom forever.

Baek finishes off the song in front of me with a tiny ad-lib. The notes flow out so effortlessly. There is an angel, and he is singing to me.

The way you cry, the way you smile~
Baekhyun-ah, you make me cry, you make me smile ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

35. Ment #4

They all lined up at the front of the stage and I could see them so clearly. At the start of the concert, I was pretty far back (15 heads deep), through all the shuffling and partitioning by Security, I had managed to make my way up to around 5 heads from the stage. It was crazy how closely I could see them. It was as if I was watching them through binoculars, only I wasn't.

The boys looked so, so tired, which breaks my heart but I'm so grateful that they're here with us today.

The feeling was rewarding as they looked out at us. It's crazy how quickly we came together over the course of the last five to six songs.

Fans started throwing gifts to the stage. Many of them didn’t make it there and we, people near the stage, got pummeled on our heads with stuffed animals before they fell to our feet. Somehow Baek picks up a pair of Rilakumma ears and puts them on his forehand (and not his head, that little fucker) and I swear it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. And he’s not even looking at the audience for our reaction. He acts so innocent and stands there with doe eyes watching the other members when he KNOWS completely that we’re cooing and dying a few feet away with hearts in our eyes.

Baek is pretty far down the line in terms speaking order, so while the others were talking, you KNOW I wasn't listening to anyone else and just watching Baek's shenanigans, like putting his mic into Xiumin’s pocket instead of holding it. Xiumin doesn't spare him a second glance, ha.

Baekhyun's eyes kept scanning the crowd while he was waiting for his turn, and his eyes swept over my area a few times. And I almost feel like if I fucking brought a sign or something he would've seen it and we would've made eye contact and that would've validated my entire existence. But I didn't and instead I stood there helplessly, regretfully, smiling at him with the biggest, brighest one I could muster and waving my puny light stick, as if he would spot me out of thousands doing exactly the same thing.

Even if our eyes didn't meet, if I made a sign, he would have most assuredly seen it and known that there was another person out there in the crowd supporting him (there weren’t too many Baek signs out there). And I never got the chance to show him that and I hate myself so much for not bringing one. The eye contact would have been a bonus, but I just wanted him to know that another anonymous out there loves him so, so much...

I wasn't about to scream out his name for attention while another member was talking, which many did beside me (rude!) as they called out for Suho and Chanyeol. So, I just stayed silent and tried to remember him as much as he was trying to remember us. I felt blessed but also heartbroken.

Baek's eyes bounce from one face to another, like rocks skipping across water, taking us all in, before he looks even further out, over my head and into the crowd. Even as he looks far, far away from me, I’m still following him desperately with my eyes, as if it’ll reel him back to me.

But god, he is so stunning. He absolutely glows. His skin is so milky smooth and his hair is so black and glossy and his eyes are so beautiful and loving and his little pouty lips and his cute button nose and the socks pulled up to his calves that make his legs look so long. I can't believe he's right there in front of me. We’re breathing the same air. He's so, so close to me, but it also feels so incredibly far, even further than the distance from behind my computer screen.

It’s finally Baek’s turn to speak. He begins with the typical notes of gratitude. Meanwhile, Chanyeol off to the side, attempts to blow out a handful of confetti he’s collected from the stage but as he’s inhaling for a breath, he ends up sucking the paper in and has to furiously spit out the paper. Oh, you silly boy.

Then we get to the part where Baek says that he had a lot of fun today with us and the translator says instead, “YOU ROCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!”. Baek’s head jerks to her in surprise. Even he knows that’s not what he said, and we all have a good laugh as he mocks her. He ends his little speech with singing “And a happy New York!” to the tune of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas…(and a Happy New Year)”. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE YOU LITTLE FUCKER, BUT WHEN HAVE YOU EVER

At one point, Baekhyun ruffles his sweaty black hair and looks up at Sehun playfully. The maknae plays with the wannabe maknae's hair by picking up strands off the top of Baek's head and pulling it straight up and Baek looks out at others with his cute furry brows as if he's annoyed by it but ohhh is he enjoying it. It's like getting his little puppy tummy rubbed BUBUUUUUUUU

Baekhyun and really all the other members are so sincere and polite in their closing comments and treated us so respectfully as an audience when we’re just screaming their names without end over their own voices and without heeding any of their comments of safety. I couldn't hear shit during the ment and people around me are cussing at them (similar to all the capslock profanities in this entry). I think the left side of the pit was much more civilized, so from the stage, I doubt EXO could have heard all that I did, but it was a clusterfuck here on the right side, and they’re still looking back at all of us us as if we're angels.

Overall, Baek didn’t really speak much during the ment apart from the required. There weren’t too many other crazy antics either. I could tell he was really tired. Suho and Jongdae, though, were still relatively energetic out of the whole crew.

Sehun pulled out all his greasy stops we he spoke and spit out a slew of feminine pleasantries to describe us (beautiful, lovely, etc.). We cheered on the surface, but I think inside we all want to give him a hard slap on the back and reply “Ha, good one. Very funny”.

Suho’s English is really so lovely. I'm always so impressed every time I hear him speak. He deserves so much more credit for all that he does.

They close it out with a photo of them posing with us. But at first, I didn’t hear them (as with the majority of their talks), so I kind of flipped out when I saw the lights diming and them walking away from us.

As we prepare for the photo, I’m sticking my tiny ass light stick way up there and on my tip toes and climbing all over everybody. Chanyeol tells us to pose “cutie sexy”... ummm how do you do that? Is that the thing that Baekhyun is naturally born with, that soft sexy aura that is my kryptonite? From where I stood, I thought I seemed to be pretty conspicuous, but as you can see from the photo, it's all a blur. I can’t even find myself. I may actually even be hiding behind Sehun.

They thank us and give a final bow before the music starts for their (actual) last piece...

At this point, I have no memory left in my camera, and there is nothing more I could possibly delete. I wasn’t going to risk deleting any more of the previous vids from the concert. So I stand there and watch and enjoy the performance like I'm supposed to. I still fumble around with my phone though, itching to search for possible space to free up. It’s not long after I first begin that my phone also dies. I am BEYOND upset.

36. Unfair

The mood was a little sad but still celebratory, like appreciating the end of a beautiful experience.

We scrapped together a shaky chorus chant, but one thing we did get right was Sehun’s “eomma-ya!” We all have a thing for Sehun. Can ya tell?

Baek had some amazing ad-libs in the song, and it was so obvious when he was and wasn’t singing. The texture of the song immediately changed when he was. His voice is so, so special. FUCKKK, I need a Baek solo concert asap.

The song ended much too quickly and they almost (hurriedly?) transitioned to the last set.

37. Ending Ment

Waving happily back to us, they thanked us as they briskly walked back towards the stage panels. (Are they going to miss a ride or something because it definitely looked they were rushed.)

Suho was dashing back and forth to different sides of the stage with a panda stuffed animal in his arms, while everyone else was walking very orderly to the back. I suppose he was giving some extra love to the fans? But it’s funny because usually, I’d think he would be the most orderly while everyone is all scrambling all over the place.

Whilst standing in a line in front of the panels for last words, Baekhyun kept honking to us into his mic, “toot toooooot!”, whilst moving his arm like a train horn. He continued this non-stop until the screens closed over him, which was for a good two minutes. WHAT ARE YOU DOING BUCHEON WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU’RE FUCKING CUTE AND I’M TRASH FOR YOU BUT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING HALF THE TIME???

Everything flew by. I barely realized what was happening, that they were leaving, that they were already at the back of the stage and sending us final goodbyes. It felt like all their actions were being fast forwarded. One second they were in front of me, and the next, the panels were closing in front of them and they disappeared.

It took the whole concert and I still hadn't completely come to terms with the fact that they were in front of me and now, they were gone again.

And the lights came on. And we saw all the faces we had shared this moment with, all the paper and trash on the ground, all the stuffed animals and toys that fell short of making the stage (l took one home hehe). This was the aftermath of a spectacular dream.

The clock struck midnight. The spell is over.

It was drizzling when I left the arena but I was still on a high. There was an extra bounce in my step. My phone was dead and its memory was full and probably missing some crucial files I deleted during the heat of the concert and my hair was soaked in sweat and water and a frizzy mess from the humidity and my neck felt broken and my calves were so sore and my voice was shot, but still, I felt invincible. I thought I could fly.

I saw some people waiting around what was supposed to be the exit area for the bus to send off EXO. I also considered waiting with them for a bit and meeting up with someone from tlist but I couldn't use my phone anymore and couldn't contact them. Plus it was around 9:30pm and I was so tired and had work the next day. Reality doesn't miss a step to catch up.

I walked back to the PATH train (thought I was going to get mugged for a certain section of the trek back). I waited on the platform behind a timetable that said it was going to arrive in 5 minutes. The 5 minutes actually turned more into 20, and then it took around an hour to get home. Lmao supposed 25-minute ride my ass. I got home and it was around 11pm. What's the point of a time table if no one follows it..

I walk to my apartment and my world feels completely different, but I look around and everything is just as I left it eight hours ago.

LAME PRE-GAME ► CONCERT ► SETLIST ANALYSIS ► SAPPY THOUGHTS