Bezzy's Journal

Bezzy's Journal

Bezzy

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	[18 Feb 2004\|03:04pm]
So last Tuesday was my birthday. 27, though I'm not sure anyone knows how old I am anymore. I've told people 24, 25, 26... I confused myself a few times! In any case, it was a good one. I even had a birthday party on Thursday. And people came and drank and carried on and had a good time. I even managed to kiss like 4 boys in one night. But only one of them wasn't on a dare. (As you can guess, 3 were the product of extreme intoxication. And the one who wasn't will not know about that.) I have fun pictures, but I don't know how to display them. Oh well. Guess you'll all just have to wonder... There is a picture of me and Paul, my new boy(friend). He's one of those people who actually looks more handsome if he doesn't smile. Which is odd, I think. Usually I am attracted to people with really winning grins. Could it be that with him I am actually attracted to his personality/intellect/humor/curiosity? Whoa, that would be, like, so adult of me. Guess that's what happens when you are inching closer and closer to the dreaded...oh god, I can't even write it...
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uh-oh	[02 Feb 2004\|04:03pm]
So med student Paul, whom I got set-up with on a blind date, is like...uh...my boyfriend now. It kind of freaks me out. Mainly because I've not really had one of those before. Not like a real one. Who lives in my city and is not fucked-up. I get all weird with him sometimes. Like Friday night when he stayed over and everything was fuzzy and cozy and warm and comfortable. And Saturday morning we acted all couple-y getting breakfast and pots of tea. Then Saturday night, boom, he's tired and doesn't want to go out. And my mind quickly jumps to: oh my god, he hates me and everything about me, and finds me repulsive and bad in bed. But actually, he was just tired. So from now on I will avoid jumping to conclusions. Or try to. I don't know why I need him to constantly reassure me that he's not going to hurt me, but I do. I guess I have trust issues. Do other people do that? I guess so, everyone gets weird sometimes. On another note, he is a Libra (Oct 17) and I am an Aquarius (Feb 10) and that bodes pretty well for us, at least as far as my limited knowledge of astrology goes. And to everyone whose friends list this pops up on, I feel like I've been all sorts of out-of-touch, but I do send you all big hugs and kisses...I'm just lurking around, reading posts and not leaving comments!
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life, in general	[15 Jan 2004\|11:20am]
Life is just fine right now, even if I do freeze my bum off everytime I walk outside. I don't think people are meant to live in zero degree temperatures, I really don't. To continue with my dating-obsessed entries, I have to say that I've met a new guy. Well I met two, but then one of them never called me again and I don't know why. He was this adorable painter/sculptor studying for a masters at Parsons. And he wrote this adorable email to me last week. Then we randomly ran into each other on a subway platform, which is just serendipitous beyond belief. He said he'd call me Sunday and then nothing. What's up with that? Maybe he lost my number? Anyway, whatever. The other guy is a med student who admitted my boss to the hospital last week. She was sick, but not too sick to set us up. And you know what? I hate it because she found a really good guy (and how does she manage to pick better guys for me than I do?). I mean, it's a little too soon to tell, but he seems almost...dare I say it...issue-less. He comes from a good family, parents who are still in love, misfit brother whom they all support unconditionally, can't wait to be a doctor because he just really wants to help people. I mean, I can't get over how normal he is. Like, on our first date, he told me about how he delivered a baby and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever done and how in awe he is of women. I mean, it's almost too good to be true. Oh and he's also 6'1, slim, dark hair. I mean, cute too. Something must be wrong. I will probably write of it very soon. Stay tuned.
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Oh New Years	[08 Jan 2004\|11:29am]
So this New Year has so far been one big crapshoot. My friend Jane flying in from London for New Years Eve. Fun, good, excellent time, complete with multiple bottles of Veuve. +++ Going out on New Years Eve in NYC, cold and expensive, even if you do have a decent time (oh but no kisses at midnight). -/+ Laying around like a lazy bum all of New Years Day and eating Kraft Mac and Cheese, watching 5 hours of I Love the 80s, just a flat-out fine day. ++ Jane leaves for JFK, sad, then having to work outside in 25 degree temperatures when all you want to do is sit next to a roaring fire. --- Finding out that my family dog, Shelby, died that same morning. - - - - - - - - (Aside: I never knew how attached I was to him, but I was. My whole family is devastated. We are one big ball of depressed right now. He was 13. He lived a good, long, mostly healthy and very happy life. And that does make me feel better. But, ugh, whenever I think about never seeing his little puppy dog eyes, or his wagging tail, again...well, I just can't stop the tears.) Getting all sorts of hugs and calls and well-wishes from my friends when they found out. +++ Meeting an adorable, witty, funny artist who wants to take me out (now this has some good 04 potential). ++++ Looking ahead to the rest of 04 and thinking it HAS to get better from here on out. +++++++++ Cheers everyone, hears hoping for all the best of everything this year. Oh and some extra money would be nice too.
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oh how merry	[16 Dec 2003\|10:39am]
So I've been sick for the past two weekends. Like vomiting, nausea, chills, aches, etc. Horrendously awful and then it goes away just in time to go back to work. I guess it's just like trying to do too much and thinking you're well when you actually aren't. The upside? Instant holiday diet. However not worth enduring all the above. Yuck. I just want to express my intense love for all Rankin Bass holiday cartoon specials. But most especially Twas the Night Before Christmas, with the little mice and the clock-maker Joshua Trundle. Oh it is so wonderful and I adore all of those songs with all my heart and soul. But it hasn't turned up on TV this year! WHY?! I know I can probably buy it but I just want to be pleasantly surprised at seeing it show up randomly one night. There's a chance that I may not update again before Christmas and so, Happy Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate at this time. And may 2004 bring you every good thing you want in life! Love to everyone. B.xo
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	[22 Oct 2003\|02:50pm]
I was not a huge fan of Elliott Smith, but I did enjoy his music, and it is always horrible to learn of someone's suicide. Especially considering he chose a way that inflicted unimaginable pain on himself. RIP. I hope he found what he was looking for. On a much lighter note, tomorrow I'm seeing Travis. Wheeeeee! I heart Fran and so will be very happy to see his lovable mug. Then Friday a haircut and highlights (not a moment too soon), and seeing Cooper Temple Clause and Longwave. Saturday drinks and dinner with my friend Jane, in from London. This weekend is shaping up to be a good one! Called the surfer boy last week on Friday and never heard back from him. Boys are stupid. The ones I don't like always like me more, why is that? And the ones I like never like me as much, why is that? Cheers Carrie! I'm glad my glowing recommendation could land you some gainful employment...though I had almost nothing to do with the process. Pat yourself on the back chica!
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slut	[13 Oct 2003\|12:34pm]
It's really good to play at being slutty sometimes. I had a great weekend. Saturday I knew that Lord Byron was flying in from LA. He didn't land here until 1:50am, though, so I had the whole night. Got all gussied up in my new red shoes (boy magnets, who knew?) and went to this party. Ok, met the HOTTEST guy. Well, maybe he's not the hottest, but he's very very very adorable. A surfer. From Kawai. He's like part Hawaiian, part Indian or something. Exotic and, oh did I say, hot? He was wearing two t-shirts and I fell for him because of that and his crazy hair. Yummy. We made out a bit and exchanged numbers, so who knows what will happen there. Then I went home to greet Byron...and I must say, it's been a while since we were together. I mean, we met for coffee like 3 months ago, but we weren't together in the sense I mean. It's been like a year and something since that happened. And I am so happy to report that in the meantime, my boy learned some SERIOUS skills. I was practically speechless. Or rather was speechless for a while. Dumbfounded might be a better word. Plus he doesn' t leave until tomorrow morning. The fun never ends!
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oooh weeee

[08 Oct 2003|05:15pm]

[

mood

calm

]

I just got new icons, courtesy of one Miss Self. Thanks for that m'dear!

The Chrissy icons just made me sad for a previous time when he was sweet and not all Hollywood whore'd out. Now I just can't relate to him anymore. It'd be like if I suddenly was engaged to someone way hot and out of my league, and he loved me and I loved him and all was well. What would I have to whine about anymore? I mean, really?

In fact, I realized that the only things I write about in this journal are my love life (or lack thereof) and my job stuff. Is that all there is to my life? I guess so, besides family and friends. But they stay pretty constant and so I guess I have nothing of note to talk about there.

Anyway, this isn't interesting to anyone but me, but I guess that's the point of a journal. At least it was when it was a diary, and I was the only one who read it.

To delve back into the pit of my lovelife: Lord Byron is visiting this weekend. It's very odd the way our 'relationship' works, in that he calls a few weeks ahead of time and we both start to think about hooking up with one another. Any other time of the year, when he's in Cali and I'm here, we don't think about each other. But if I were to visit there, and when he's about to come here, the story changes. It makes me wonder if I would hate him or date him, were we to live in the same city.

Is it bad that I'm planning on going to a party and picking up men, then meeting him later in the same night? It feels slutty, but in a good way. Like good girl gone bad. But not that bad, it is ME after all...

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Can I really?	[22 Sep 2003\|04:15pm]
Oh god oh god oh god! Last week I was kidding around with my boss and randomly threw out the idea of us doing a project in Brazil. You know, because I was invited. (And because I'm obsessed.) She's queen of self-help and empowering and all that stuff, and she left me this message on the weekend saying "I really think you should go, I really do." And just now she's on the phone with me and goes, "So when are you going to Brazil?" And I sort of hemmed and hawed and hesitated. And she goes, "I think you should do it sometime before Thanksgiving and if you need some help, check into it and I can give you some frequent flyer miles." Ok, deep breath... FREAKING OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I really go? I mean, can I? My world is madness, I tell you. First of all, my boss is being so NICE. What must she want from me? And two, this Brazil. It's like, on a whole other continent. That's some far away booty. p.s. Adelle, loved the Emmys commentary. My gay boss Bradley walked behind Joan Rivers on the pre-show and I totally missed it! Gah! And Christina Applegate definitely needed some shine-free papers. You'd think someone would be waiting backstage with those. Also, Jennifer Aniston's hair looked nothing short of amazing, who does those highlights? And I agree on SJP's dress--couture Chanel can never go wrong, that was just beautiful.
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the problem with directors	[18 Sep 2003\|04:00pm]
Directors. Maniacal, self-centered, ego-centric, and too often male. This week I got an envelope full of receipts from the director on my movie. Were they in any categorized? No. Were they even explained half the time? No. I am not a one-woman accounting department and anyone who knows me knows that I am math-phobic. In short, going through his expenses was the LAST thing I wanted to do. But I did it anyway. And I had a couple of questions. Like a car service from Newark to Manhattan. I just wanted clarification of why a $40 ride turned into $82. It's not a big deal, I just wanted to resolve it. Or why we were paying for $200 worth of DVDs that had nothing to do with the project. I asked. Nicely. Well, first I emailed. No response. So I sucked it up and called. And the BASTARD SCREAMED AT ME. Something along the lines of, "Why don't you show me some respect, I'm the director." And on and on and on. That is the problem with directors. They don't respect anyone but themselves. It probably has a lot to do with being a man. And being so focused on your own ass that you can't pull your head out of it long enough to be civil to the rest of the world.
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oh sweet lord	[11 Sep 2003\|03:01pm]
This morning I felt depressed watching the news. That manifested itself into wanting to email every person I've had any contact with in the past year. Plus I was bored at work. So I wrote to my Brazilian. Also because, ultimately, all I really want to do is marry him and have his hot Brazilian babies. Is that so wrong? And I said something along the lines of, "The city is pretty depressing today." And he writes back to me, "Life is depressing sometimes, but when that happens just remember that you weren't depressed the day you met me." Which, come to think of it, is entirely what keeps me, or any of us, sane. Isn't it? Remembering things, even the briefest encounters, that made your life interesting, or exciting, or exotic, or joyous. It doesn't have to be a monumental moment, just a time that makes you giggle and feel proud to be around and in your own skin. That's how he made me feel that day/night/week, and when I think of it, I smile. And not just a little smirk, a huge goofy grin. And that's what matters.
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Time on my hands

[10 Sep 2003|03:34pm]

[

mood

bored

]

I found out today that the lead actor in my movie has taken a job in LA and won't be back until November. This is bad for the following reasons: 1. The union dictates that we have to break for all federal holidays, which means we actually save money if we delay the start date to January (because of election day, Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Jewish/Christian holidays, etc.). I was counting on starting next month, so this sucks. 2. It means my big payoff will be that much more delayed. 3. It means skipping Sundance this year, which isn't really that big of a deal. And I will trade off that for Cannes any day of the week.

It is good for only 1 reason: I don't have to work very hard for the next two months, and I get all the holidays off.

I'm a little disappointed, but I'll get over it.

In other news, I still love my gay boss Bradley. He's going to LA for the Emmys next week and I want him to be on tv. He thinks I've got good style and that makes me all HEEEEE with joy. Yesterday they were doing "Ambush Makeovers" on the street in NY and the dude looked at me and smiled. He was mega hott and probably homosexual, but we could've been friends. Plus I wanted a free haircut and a new outfit, but I guess I looked too good. (And I say that with sarcasm, because I happen to know that my jeans were 2 sizes too big and that just looks stupid, like you're wearing clown pants or something. At least the diet's finally kicked in.)

This journal thing is kind of therapeutic, isn't it?

I bought tickets for Travis in DC. It's going to be my bro-in-law's birthday present, which is really just a present for me because it's Frannie at the 9:30 Club! Wheee!

Pat, the boy, still calls. Last time we went out, I had just gotten my period, so there was going to be no staying over. Plus I wasn't sure I really liked him. I'm still not sure. But I think he was kind of confused when I just left him outside the door to my place. The kissing was better, though still not stellar. It did give me some wee hope for future endeavors. My problem is that he still seems rooted in his military rigidness. Kind of uptight, despite being funny and genuine and intelligent. Plus he's wingfooted, and I know it's very Seinfeldian of me to dislike someone for that reason, but I can't help it. When we walk down the street I can see it out of the corner of my eye and I find it somewhat unacceptable. Perhaps I'm just being picky. But in an effort to get over myself, I'm probably going to go out with him on Friday. And I'm going to be very nice, too.

'Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, ohhhhhhhhhhhh?' Who sings this song? I want to duet with someone on this... 'I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.' Be all sassy. Maybe Bradley will sing with me. :)

Au revoir mes amis!

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what bugs me

[25 Aug 2003|02:10pm]

[

mood

mischievous

]

I have a bunch of pet peeves, the biggest of those is single people who carry ENORMOUS golf umbrellas on city streets. Hello?! Make room for the rest of us please, sidewalk hog!

Anyway, this is my second biggest pet peeve: people who cannot make a decision and will not commit to something until the day before. That just bugs me. If you aren't sure you want to go with me, just say so and tell me no. Don't hem and haw and then call me back 4 days later and say yes. That's just irritating.

That's what Pat did to me. I have an extra ticket for the Yankees game Tuesday. And no one else has claimed it yet, so he can still do so, it's just that now I'm not so sure I'm offering it anymore. Plus he'd absolutely piss himself if he knew we're sitting about 10 rows behind home plate. But whoops, couldn't decide, could he? Guess he'll just have to watch on tv.

In other news, yesterday I met another hot boy doing my Letterman job. I owe that man a lot for giving me a new social life. This lad is 1/2 Brazilian and 1/2 Australian, so you know I am all over that. Until, that is, he informs me that he is the guy who plays the yellow Power Ranger on tv. At that point, I just want to fall on the floor in hysterics.

I've also done just a wee bit more internet stalking and have found a picture of tall Phil, the volleyball hottie. I don't know how to post it though, or I would. It's not that great a picture anyway. Oh and Adelle, if you read this, he did play against Jason Ring once! Or he was supposed to, but forfeited. That must mean that Jason's really good! Good enough to be scared of playing!

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stalker

[20 Aug 2003|05:30pm]

[

mood

amused

]

Ok, so I admit I can be sort of single-minded in my zeal when it comes to certain things...

And I had a minute of time to just scour the internet a little. If I just happen to do a little research on one of my volleyball players, that's no crime. I mean, it's really just for something to do. I'm not actually going to use any of the information I find.

Sort of like when I found Guy's dad's number. I wasn't really going to call and ask him to cut off his son's hair in the middle of the night or even send him a bottle of shampoo.

But I have to admit that when I found Phil's email address, I was pretty psyched. I can't USE it, or I would reveal my stalkerishness, but I've got it anyway. Just to look at. And I also have to smile because he was a civil engineering major, my boy is smart!

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[18 Aug 2003|11:38pm]

[

mood

chipper

]

I am all heeeeeeeeeeee today.

So Thursday was the blackout day and I was actually looking forward to my time alone in the dark. Until I realized I was going blind trying to read my book, and eventually resigned myself to a life of insanity talking to myself and watching shadows cross the wall.

By Friday I was so bored I stole my brother's car and drove home to see my parents. I was thinking it'd be a nice, sunny weekend at the beach. Of course Saturday it rained, so I had to look at carpet samples with my mom. Not that that's so bad, I don't mind doing it. Plus I got the cutest BCBG shoes when we went out shopping!

But that's not the reason for the good mood. Oh no. That reason lies in two very cute and sweet pro beach volleyball players, who just happened to be playing where I just happened to be sitting. Yes, my rescuers from three weeks ago. They won their tournament, went undefeated.

Now, I am pleased by the smallest of things, so this made me very very happy: Afterwards I walked over to say hello. I had those butterflies because, you know, what if they acted all cool and didn't remember me or something. There are all these bikini-clad groupies waiting to get autographs and pictures. I come up and go, "There's this guy on the boardwalk messing with me, can you guys beat him up for me?" And they look up and are all, "Oh my god, it's YOU! This is so awesome! And so random!" Big smiles and hugs. And of course all the groupies give me the evil eye. Heh.

In the end we had a chat. They wanted me to stay and go out with them last night, but I couldn't. It would've meant getting up at 4:30am this morning for work. As much as I adore them, I couldn't do that. But they do now have my email address and phone number. I like to think they won't lose it. And the tall one, Phil (6'9 inches of hottness) was all, "We're going to play a tournament in Atlantic City this fall, so we'll just shoot up to New York for a visit!"

Please, please, please let me get what I want. :)

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just cause you feel it, doesn't mean it's there (?)

[11 Aug 2003|11:14am]

[

mood

confused

]

So disregard that last post because I am not mad anymore.

I have fear of commitment issues rearing their ugly heads, but I'm not angry.

The boy, Pat as he calls himself, but soon to be Patrick if I have my way, met me out on Friday. And he doesn't mind telling me that he likes me. It's sweet and refreshing, and truly the most frightening thing I've encountered in a long time.

This is a just a sample of things he's said to me: "I want to take you out on a proper date, and I'm going to start planning something special. I'll pick you up, we'll get dressed up and go somewhere nice. And then after that, I'll take you on a second date."

I mean, whoa, hold the presses! I just met you, boy!

But on the other hand, I can find no faults so far (save for one, more on that in a bit): he's intelligent, funny, tall--6'4, built, cute, respectful, kind, shy, etc. I can go on. Oh he can't dress, but that's easy to remedy.

He asked me if he could walk me home, I mean, come on. He's totally courting me and it's not such a bad thing. Except for my instinct to run like hell.

He's the kind of guy that would make a great boyfriend...move those legs woman and get the hell out of there.

Here's the bad part. It's all going so well, we have had intelligent conversations on Iraq, the history of the Kurdish people, AIDS in Africa, women's rights in third world countries. I'm enjoying this guy and his friends are nice too. He walks me home. And kisses me.

AND IT IS THE WORST KISS EVER IN HUMAN HISTORY!!!!!!!!!

Could this be because he just got home from the middle east and he hasn't kissed a girl in 8 months? Possibly. Let's hope. Could it be that he was drunk? Lord, let it be that. Can I train him to be a better kisser? Talk to me girls. Please, insights welcome.

Otherwise, I'm outta there. And this time I think he won't be the only one disappointed...

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what will it take?

[07 Aug 2003|01:19pm]

[

mood

disappointed

]

I was just thinking of that George Michael song Hard Day... "What will it take to make you love me? Oh, well you're not the best, you're not the rest, you're not even the one who loved me the best, but all I think about is you."

That's a bit dramatic for this post, but whatever.

I met a boy on Tuesday. He was tall and handsome and we hit it off immediately. Turns out we went to college together, though we had never met and had no friends in common. It was in the afternoon, around 3 when this happened. I wasn't getting off work until 9, but he was all 'come meet me and my friends for a drink.'

They were at a bar around the corner, it wasn't hard to go. So I did. And they were drunk, of course, but also really happy to see me. He jumped at the chance to write down my number (I had to run and meet friends). And said he'd call me.

Now I swore he said, 'I'll call you tomorrow.'

I know it's not unusual for men to say things they don't mean, but I honestly thought he would call me yesterday. But he didn't.

I was disappointed because I actually did really like him, despite the fact that he's about as American Apple Pie as you can get. Though with a decidedly Irish look to him. I was getting all excited about having met an available boy who lives in the tri-state area and doesn't seem like a psycho. But I guess I shouldn't have...unless maybe he calls today. You just have to shrug and leave it alone, I guess.

I've decided who I know have a major crush on: the boy who used to play Lane's boyfriend on Gilmore Girls and is now the 'dorky' guy on The OC. I don't know his name, but he is oh so cute.

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tough day, you say?

[30 Jul 2003|10:48am]

[

mood

scared

]

Let me tell you all a story about a TV show recruiter, namely me.

Yesterday I'm wandering around, minding my own business, attempting to find some good looking, happy-go-lucky people to fill my audience. This Angry Little Man walks up and gets in my face. He's going off along the lines of: "Letterman sucks! Why won't you give me a ticket? Cuz you don't find me hot? Come on, give me a ticket! If you don't, I don't care because I hate him anyway!" In other words, he was being belligerent and rude and not making much sense on top of it all.

At first I attempted to reason with him, then tried blowing him off, then I just walked away.

Cut to one hour later, I am having a very pleasant conversation with 3 pro-beach volleyball players (not so bad on the eyes, either, sigh) and Angry Little Man turns the corner and goes off. "Why can you give them tickets and not me? Is it because you're trying to pick them up? You want to take them home with you because you think they're so hot?"

I ask him, calmly, to leave me alone and when I turn around he lashes out with this: "Fucking bitch! Why won't you give me a fucking ticket?! Cuz you don't want to fuck me! FUCKING FAT BITCH!"

So I was a bit rattled by that.

Then one of the volleyball players, bless him, goes "Don't talk to her like that."

Angry Little Man: "Fuck you, what are you going to fucking do about it?"

Volleyball-playing Knight in Shining Armor (walking over to ALM): "I suggest you get out of here."

Angry Little Man: "Or what? Fuck you."

And with that, my Volleyball man headbutted the little guy so hard he fell on the ground. It all happened in an instant. And it was scary, let me tell you. I've never had my honor defended before, and that was pretty cool, but otherwise, dude, all I wanted was to get out of there.

Of course I talked to my lovely boss Bradley this morning and he made me feel all better. And he was all, "It's so sexy that he defended you like that!" Sigh, I love gay men.

Today I am better and feeling relieved. Nothing like getting threatened to tie your stomach up in knots! Also, I don't have to go back there until Sunday, so hopefully the Angry Little Man will not show up again. I'm happy to report that when he got up, he had a massive welt forming on his forehead. Score one for hottie volleyball men!

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tee hee	[23 Jul 2003\|12:04pm]
My world is coming together in strange ways. Just got an email saying CP is off to South America. And the first date is in...Sao Paulo. Home of the Brazilian. Imagine if he got hired to photograph Chrissy & the boys, that would be strange fate. All "my" men in one place, sigh. Also they are to be married in autumn, or so it is reported today. No new news. Mwa mwa all!
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lookie here

[21 Jul 2003|03:50pm]

[

mood

bored

]

For you Adelle, an update! For everyone else too. You all knew I wasn't dead.

Strangely enough, after reading through the last message I posted (WAAAAAY back in Dec 02) nothing much has changed. I'm still pining for the Brazilian, who may never journey back to NYC again, Lord Byron still pisses me off occasionally, I'm still bored. Yikes, must make huge life changes starting...now.

I've got a NU job at David Letterman now. My boss is the most ultra-fab, sweet, cute gay male you've ever encountered in your life! I mean it! I want to marry him and be his beard-for-life. The job is just so-so, but the people are mega.

Hee, I said mega.

Steve (aka Alex) James got married, sob. Chrissy broke glass in the name of Gwyneth Paltrow, he is an angry boy now.

My brother is moving out of my apartment tomorrow. This is bittersweet--sweet because, HELLO, I get my space back! I can have overnight guests again (god willing)! Bitter because it's actually been fun living with him for a little while. We haven't done that since I was 8!

I'm crazed with diet-conscious eating and exercise, but it seems to be working. I keep getting compliments, so that's got to count for something. It's kind of that deal where you always imagine yourself as being hideous and then other people will be like, 'Wow, you look great!' and all of sudden your whole outlook changes. It's all a mind game.

Last random story for the day: last Thursday this boy hit on me. He was ok, funny, decent-enough looking, I was not bowled over with lust but then again I rarely am with Americans. The funny part of the story: his last name is Dundics. I just find that hilarious for some reason.

Cheers, leave me a comment! ;)

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