BaconCoffee's Art & Fiction Hell

And then, incubi

2012-11-12T02:05:54Z

Hay, moar gay porn arts

its like he's having a great fucking time

fucking some sleeping dude and all

Halloooween gay porn art!

2012-10-31T04:19:24Z

So I realize I almost never draw women, and this is something I'm going to continue for a while. So, Halloween, quick and shitty art.

Not sure why a bootleg devil is fucking a blindfolded guy, I just drew some weird shit. It's like a 34 request and I have no idea. I'm not even sure what's going on with blindfolded's leg there, but okay it was the least weird thing i could lazily do at the time, fuck you very much.

so, like, i'm in a bad spot.

2012-10-23T22:42:16Z

broke, isolated and have zero friends, no work, and my tablet is dying.

i don't make friends easily. i'm sociophobic. it's hard for me to even leave the house two days a week. it drains the hell out of me. i like fresh air, but

i can barely even check out at a store. i'm not just shy. i mean, i was in middle school and high school, but i got worse, so actually thinking about doing anything other than stand there when people talk to me, looking someone in the face, or anything just actually churns my stomach and gives me a headache. i know nothing will happen, that's why its a phobia.

i'm looking for a good flea market so i can sell the jewelry and plush toys i make so i can get a few bucks.

but ive always had this weird neurological thing and i have an appointment with a neurologist in a couple more weeks, and ive promised that if she can't find anything, im committing myself.

i'm not doing too good.

My 9 year old tablet is now, well, dying.

2012-10-23T09:11:47Z

I bought this thing before I even came out.

It's a Wacom Graphire 4, blue and beautiful with a minuscule active area, but it's served me well. It's been through a lot. Countless moving. The pen's been cracked for the better part of three years. The grip finally crumbled to bits earlier this year after many years of trimming the stretching plastic and gluing it. I replaced it with felt and duct tape.

About two weeks ago, it started adding random dots and blotches to what I'd been doodling. For several months before, it hasn't been booting properly, which a full reboot usually fixes.

I, uh, don't know what I'm going to do without my oldest friend.

I tried to use a Bamboo Create and hated it. I've got my eye on an Intuos 5, but lack $230. I can't afford a scanner, either.

So, yeah. I've probably got about a month left before this thing dies completely. After that, no art. I don't like it.

Wait, it won't affect anyone other than me, since lolz no one knows I exist.

baconcoffee @ 2012-10-21T16:53:00

2012-10-21T20:53:29Z

I was explaining to my wife last night:

People spiral. I freefall.

I'm caught in freefall again from a higher point than before. I'm going to hit the ground some day now.

I can't live in this house anymore. I just want to get a job, stop going to college, and be alone for a while. Everything's wearing me thin these days. I can't relax. I'm starting to think dangerous, psychotic thoughts and I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore.

attention

2012-10-16T09:36:00Z

there is a gecko-thing in my appartment

it's pink/peach with bluish finger-things and tail. there's some yellow, too.

i was like, hey buddy, there are some ants in the house, little red ones.

and then it lunged off the wall in the direction i pointed

idfk i made a lizard friend that'll find its way back out into the world.

how the hell did it get in.

baconcoffee @ 2012-10-15T14:10:00

2012-10-15T18:10:55Z

Today, I dropped one of my two classes.

I see my therapist Wednesday. She'll catch on eventually that I'm self destructive and whimsical to no end, and it always negatively impacts me.

I'm not so sure I should even try to be a therapist. I mean, I'm good. I know people and I'm great at figuring things out, helping people achieve clarity, and I do not really talk much (and when I do, people don't listen).

I went to the ER during an episode and they think, apparently, that I just need 600mg of Ibuprofen for my "headache." I only get headaches ~70% of the time. The rest of it, I don't know, it's messy and I'll talk another day, but there's something wrong with my brain. They did give me a CT scan, but nothing showed up because, hell even I know, I don't have a growth or anything, it's just my neurons misfiring and tripping out.

Well, they know I'm not on drugs (duh) and that I don't have meningitis (I got a vaccination five years ago, so it was incredibly unlikely to begin with).

But I have an appointment with a neurologist next month.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Another gay porn gif.

2012-10-06T09:13:43Z

I have not been doing well lately. So, taking a break, drawing porn.

Again, drawn by hand, no refs. I feel like the anatomy's better than the six piece set, but it's still fucked to hell. Muscular guy this time. No bouncing dicks, but POV styled ~~and failed~~.

I'll be posting it on tumblr, too, once it's back up.

YES YES A MILLION TIMES

2012-09-22T04:33:42Z

BROS AND SISSSSSESSSS

MOMENTOUS HAPPENINGS ARE HAPPENING

I'm so fucking EXCITED FUCKING YES OH GOD I CANT EVEN

Six months ago, I began working on Adrift again. It's a comic I've been working on since I was an older teenager. I got into it again because I'm an idiot, and I had a couple of dumb, 4koma pages full of troll that I was going to throw into Lunar, but then

When I got back, I realized I lost interest in Lunar. I, uhm, was very depressed because I could not find my backup disc of all things Adrift. That's how long I hadn't worked on it -- wasn't even on this hard drive. I gave up on finding the disc some months ago.

But I decided to arrange my old paperwork. At the bottom of a bin, there were two discs, and I picked them up, checked through them, and in the pack with 3 cds jammed into a paper protector, it was there. IT WAS THERE.

COPYING EVERYTHING AT THE MINUTE.

JUST. I'M SO EXCITED. LIKE. TMI BUT IVE GOT A HARDON FROM THE EXCITE OH GOD

THESE DAYS ARE MAGICAL DAYS, FUCKING MAGICAL

i did cry a little too.

I'M SO FUCKING ELATED

Suddenly pidgeon

2012-09-14T22:43:05Z

GIMP doodle ended up as a pidgeon.

i drew it in less than five minutes, shut the hell up. (Spatters are actually a freckles brush I made. Might post it one day.)

My wife likes it, so I'm posting it where she knows she can find it.

And then, gay porn

2012-09-14T22:29:14Z

Suddenly, hand drawn porn gifs everywhere

uhm

i downloaded gimp 2.8 last week and got around to testing it without being like GO BACK TO OLD VERSION DO NOT PASS GO

and i like it more than 2.6

some people have problems exporting gifs. I am not one of them.

SO. Like. idfk twinks fucking each other or somethin

All of these without references, lots of uncircumcised dicks. I watch a lot of porn, tbh

First and second were really the test of gifability in 2.8. It's good.

Because of the host, you gots ta click ta see. (I'm looking for better porn hosts.)

So then. I got moar srs with each gif.

I was a little lazy with 6 (because perspective in motion), but I think 5 came out fuckin' great. Testicles swinging!

Yep. That's what I've been up to for two days. Animated buttsecks gifs everywhere.

La Fea Mas Bella dvds

2012-09-01T19:22:15Z

The entire 300 episode series of La Fea Mas Bella... I can only find the dvds of the poorly edited, sliced and diced series that's just over 15 hours. The dvd cut is... well, lacking over 200 hours.

Betty, La Fea is what it's based on, but honestly, I like LFMB a bit more.

So I'm looking for a dvd set of the complete series, or a torrent or something.

I've had no luck so far (over three years of looking). Anyone know?

I've found a couple of sites that, say, want me to pay for not knowing if they have it or not (te-lenovelas.com looks untrustworthy to begin with).

baconcoffee @ 2012-08-26T05:11:00

2012-08-26T09:11:30Z

It dawned on me today:

I'm actually extremely angry at myself, and I lash out at my SO and roomie because I cannot cope with it.

I have zero actual accomplishments.

I have no friends -- even online.

I have no job.

I have absolutely no transportation to get said job or meet people.

I am 100% isolated and my wife's trying to tell me, hey, you can fix that, but I honestly DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.

At this point, being alone is basically all I know, and oh yeah, I'm such a great friend with uncontrollable rage issues AND borderline personality; yeah, that's exactly what EVERYONE wants a piece of.

And really, who the hell wants to know a short, ratty jackass that's only into art, science, and psychology? No one, because it's not "cool."

foreveralone.gif

baconcoffee @ 2012-08-23T03:32:00

2012-08-23T07:32:10Z

Oh man I crack myself up.

Sister in law on the phone, talking to wife. Wife put the phone down to look up yarn or something

sister in law singing doot doo deet delu dooo and stuff
stare at phone

scream at top of lungs

I LIKE YOUR SONG

ermagad

2012-08-20T03:40:02Z

i has found new thinger

I'm sick of having a netbook. It's good, but not... quite as powerful as I need. I've been looking for a pc with ridiculous specs, and ermagad i found it

amazing video card, like, more than 5x more capacity than this one's

8gigs of ram

fucking great processor

and TWO FUCKING TERABYTES OF SPACE not just one but TWO

BITCH

WTF AM I GOING TO DO WITH THAT SPACE IUNNO ILL FILL IT WITH PORN YES PORN

And it's not too damn expensive. Expensive for me right now because lulunemployed, but with a job, a grand is pretty FAAANNNNTASTIC

COMPUTER, WE COULD DO SO MANY GREAT THINGS TOGETHER WITHOUT LAG

LIKE KILL DRAGONS AND DRAW PORN AND WRITE WITHOUT CRASHING

AND I COULD GET A ENERGY STORING DEVICE SO IF THE POWER GOES OUT, YOU'D BE OKAY BRO

I WANT YOUR BAD YOUR BAD ROMANCE

WAIT WAIT I FORGOT I ALSO NEED A NEW TABLET BECAUSE THIS ONE IS NINE YEARS OLD AND STARTING TO FRAGGLEFRIBBLEDERP ON ME

MAYBE I WILL SAVE UP LIKE FIVE K AND DROP IT ON THE NEW PC AND GET A FUCKING CINTIQ!!!!!1111

Portrait

2012-07-10T07:55:19Z

For a few years now, I've been trying to do a self portrait using canvas and paint and digital methods.

I'm pretty, but hard to paint.

I need encouragement.

On the bright side, I'm registered for classes this semester coming up and I finished doodling page 4. Page 5 is a lot less annoying and bland for me, so I should fly right through it.

Queue fuckery

2012-07-08T06:25:38Z

I've been lazy lately. I don't want to draw page 4. It's bland and boring and URGH I might just do the rest of the lineart and post it. I'm not caught up on my queue like I wanted to, urgh, disappointed in myself.

Page 5 should be pretty simple, mostly chatting and stagnant stuff. Etc.

On the bright side, I'm learning basic electronics starting with LEDs. Not entirely sure what I'm going to do with LEDs, but it'll be silly. Flashing lights and shit. As soon as I get a new job, bam, fucking LEDs in this hizzle

Why do I do this to myself?

2012-06-26T02:14:36Z

Agh, god, I cannot seem to quantify what I'm working on.

Work.
One sci-fi novel.
One fantasy novel.
Two comics.
Whiterun guard costume.
Another costume, that'll require resin casting, but shhhh. It's a long term thinger.
Improving my crochet and printing techniques too.

That's not to mention my inventions, concepts, and ARGH

I need an exact copy of myself. Maybe two copies of myself. There's not enough time in a day to be me.

It's hard out here for a broke inventor.

2012-06-16T03:07:19Z

Seriously, I've got three pretty fucking fantastic inventions, you know.

And the patent office wants a pretty penny for each. Just to file some shit, bam, over a hundred bucks.

It's like a thousand for each.

I'm not even going to try marketing these things until I have that damn patent secure, because fuck you, I'm not risking my brilliance for some rich, lazy fuck to steal my brain.

Apparently only rich people can invent things and be protected, but you know what? Capitalism.

Fuck you, patenting office. Fuck you.

Habits.

2012-06-10T07:45:14Z

You know, I don't consider what I do in my spare time as a habit. I consider habits to be things that can't really be controlled, like when a person motions in a certain way or such.

I have a habit to, on difficult nights, fall asleep crunching numbers. Thinking of investment strategies--and I don't mean tossing money into stocks. And I hate numbers.

I have a habit of being overly aggressive and staring people down even if, and especially if, I find them attractive.

I wave my hands a lot.

I have a habit of beginning to explain things scientifically, then remembering that most people find it easier to drink it down if I just take a step back and explain it the way I'd get it if I weren't a geek.

Oh, and I lost some weight and am putting on some muscle. Yup.

Awesome.

2012-06-04T17:47:21Z

I was talking to a friend about a buddy of mine from high school. I'll refer to him as (S). It was a brief mention, but obviously, it lead to this dream I had last night.

About ten years in the future or so.

I'd been at home, writing. I get a phone call from the police station that there's been a murder of a critic that negatively reviewed one of my works. I arrange meeting, show up, and my alibi is that I was working on a comic page and they can check the time stamps on my work.

Seeing as how I'm covered, had no negativity toward the critic, they let me go. They do let me in on a little info: the critic was murdered with a small box cutter of some sort.

The case becomes big news. The theater is closed for the investigation, of course, and two weeks later, five more murders have happened.

Now, the majority of writers and artists in this know each other, and I'm thinking of, maybe it was one of us. Standing in front of the fridge, looking for food, I realize only one of us has really been hurt by the critic's words, and only he fell off the earth, (S).

I know where he is because I know him. I called the police and tell them I know who it is, arrest is in order, but he's not going to be easy to get without me. I'm already almost there.

At the theater, oddly, every window was broken. There's no light, and everything that's visible is washed in deep tones of red and fuchsia. I run in, calling (S). As I grabbed the handrail proceeding to the second floor, I heard two cars pull up; no doubt the police.

I dashed up the stairs, loudly calling his name. Walking through a doorway, bright red doors fully swung open, I notice the right door rocking. There's a crouched, hunkered down shadow behind it. I'm backing up.

"(S)? (S), it's me, Aaron."

He lunges at me. I catch his hand with both of mine, staring at the tiny, sharpened box cutter. I tell him it's alright, let go of the knife, and then I manage to knock it from his grasp. It falls to the floor. I take a moment's opportunity to toss both of us to the floor, to the right, like a tackle. I take most of the hit.

(S) is crying, covering his face, curling into fetal position.

Holding his legs, I ask him why and what happened. He chokes that the first movie, everyone liked it but that critic. After that critic gave a poor review, (S) got booted from the industry. He fell apart. Got messed up. I wrap my arms around his head and tuck his head into my chest. I ask him why he killed the others. He begins to answer that he didn't know.

And then my dog woke me up because he needed to poop.

baconcoffee @ 2012-05-30T15:41:00

2012-05-30T19:42:46Z

What happens when you need to tell people these horrible, true things. You know it'll hurt them and can't manage to do it. The opportunity keeps sliding by or getting knocked out, and there's scarcely a second to say what you mean, genuinely world shaking truths.

It's hard when the world is on a tight schedule and you've got to try to cram the contents of your emotional baggage into a few seconds here and there, and moreover:

Which way will this person react? Screaming, crying... I honestly can't stand them, and the gut-wrenching truth is that the knot in my stomach is just me waiting to just say it all and then get my existence run through a blender of other peoples' inability to understand the painful truth in which:

I am a whimsical douche bag and I'm a horrible human being.

And I need to tell a bunch of people current events and I really, really hate breaking peoples' hearts. It sticks with me. I never get over it. I never forget a miserable face. It just serves to gravitate my ego to ensure I don't leave even more emotionally distraught people in my wake. I'm a human hurricane. It makes me anxious to be honest, but what choice do I have.

This weekend.

2012-05-27T17:01:47Z

Memorial Day weekend, for my job, is the second busiest weekend of the year, second only to Black Friday.

Yesterday, I was on for five hours.

I was sweating like crazy, but... YEA.

It was... oddly, fun.

I'm tired and achey and... today, I'm up again. Likely tomorrow, too.

YES.

Yey

2012-05-21T20:40:32Z

20 hour work week coming up.

I complained about this to my wife earlier. I get this a lot:

Questions about working and money, such as, "Isn't it nice to have money in your account?"

...No, Honestly, it's nice, but my primary objective is to get out of the house and meet people. Assist them. I assist customers, but also my coworkers by lightening the work load and attempting to ease some of the stress.

My primary goal is people.

Money isn't even my second. It's my tertiary, if not further down the list. You see, it's not that I'm some fancy pants dude, it's just that, there are systems in place for people who need the assistance. Honestly, I should be on financial support, but money is lame.

Money only is defined by the value ascribed to it by its users. Therefore, if one person gives a two-dollar value to the dollar, that doubled value may become the standard. And to address this; a candy used to be a penny. Now it's 50 cents, possibly more. Why? Because per increment (a penny), that penny is actually valued at LESS than it was by 50 times.

In other words, money is not real. It's not.

We should be moving on to imaginary systems of money with fail safes installed, like a form of credits. Etc. I'll go into it another day.

This is honestly what I believe. People are much more valuable than money.

Some musing.

2012-05-18T04:10:22Z

So someone on the other side of the world tried to charge a $50+ something from my account. Not mine. So my bank is going through the correct procedures and jesus.

At my job, there was some money missing from my drawer--I'm not naming names, but bullshit. Seriously. I hate money.

Work, one asshole responded, "Don't bother," with a disgusted tone to my, 'here, have a sales flyer!' This is after he ran around suspiciously, avoiding me and the other employees. Fucking skeeve. I know you're trying to steal, so stop it.

People are stupid, I hate the political system of every country, and I'm mental wrestling myself. I've got an awesome support system. I don't have to crumple into a shitbag like I used to be.

And okay, verified. Lunar? Ghaleon's canon gay for Dyne. It's implied in the games, but in the novels and comics, geez. In Childhood's end, even though it's a hot mess of a story, Xenobia literally says, "Ghaleon's heart always only held dear one person. A human male." Sauce. I feel so fucking vindicated because, as a teenager, I thought I was just being a slashy fucker, but no, I fucking knew it. So permit me to victory dance. So yes, I was going to address it anyway, but FUCKINGYES. (But Ghaleon's still an odd twink, so he's not my thang, brah.)

Also, fucking Community was amazing tonight. I need the s3 DVD set like burning! I can't wait for the release, ohgod want