backswingjack

Hell, just give me the damn cake!

backswingjack — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:13:08 GMT

I have a passionate hatred of any politics, especially when they arise in MY department, and make me and my friends unhappy...

Recently, I have not been active for the simple reason that "walls have ears". The boss has been corrupt from the beginning and the whole "promotion" was a scam from day one. It has led to a lot of friction and a lot of fishing. Thankfully, it has all been dealt with, and my trials are over, for now.

Now for the good news. T is a grandfather of a baby girl, that they have still to find a name for. I suggested they call her after her granddaddy for a laugh....but as they are actually considering it...I hate to agree with Daniel, but sometimes I should keep my mouth shut. This would be made a lot easier if people just fed me cake....mmmm...cake.

Well, speaking of cake, I think I better go and get some.

hmmpf

backswingjack — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:51:22 GMT

You know what pisses me off more than anything else in the entire universe? (Apart from the usual suspects). So-called "leaders" who leave their men behind, or shoot them in the back.

What is with that? We NEVER leave a man behind (man is used, em, ambiguously(?), not gender specific). So, you can imagine how PISSED I am after I discover deception going on, right under my nose the whole time...

I am SO annoyed...I knew I shouldn't have fallen for the lures of cake, but there you have it...

S##t.

I may just take to xeroxing my ass so the shots of it serve them well...but Daniel thinks otherwise . Strategies my ASS. Plan A, B-whatever the HELL you want to call them, NEVER work. Ever. That's why I have found my endearing way of getting the hell outta there, no matter what, so endearing. And rewarding.

I am upset. I think I will not eat cake for the time being. Let's just call it a diet.

On the plus side, I get to go off-world tommorrow. I am helping T perfect his backswing. Whether or not I come back...different story.

Until then...ow! I honestly didnt think sitting on a photocopier could sear my lovely butt..

The one shot of my bare butt will have to do.

Poetry in motion....

backswingjack — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:01:57 GMT

I have never laughed sooo much!!!

Vala came to visit (Dressed as a "lady of the night" as usual). Maybourne fell in lust instantly. He fell even more quickly when he received a kick in the nuts for his trouble!! Vala, being the gracious guest, gave me cake-which allowed me to overlook the fact she was actually kicking the crap, literally and figuratively, out of Maybourne. Like I said, poetry in motion....

She came looking for Daniel...who interestingly enough headed for a dig in Honduras just this morning...

I wonder why!!

Gotta go. Maybourne's used up all the ice and is heading for my beer. There is NO WAY hes using my beer to nurse his nuts!!

Beer me!

backswingjack — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:18:08 GMT

T came over. It's been hot recently, and T came over to my hut, and brought beer. I locked Maybourne in the basement, and me and T shared a few beers while fishing. It was really nice. T is sooo looking forward to being a grandad (can't remember what he called it, am slightly drunk). Don;t envy him, the only advantage being that you can give them back, but then what's the point in that? You might as well call yourself a babysitter-without-pay....

Daniel has been especially annoying of late. He hasn't been answering my calls....
Only to find out from another source that he's on another planet!! Why didn't he tell me!! Just wait til I get my hands on him!

Carter has been spouting off some scientific stuff....not good when all I can say is "OK" because...I'm a naughty boy...

Gotta go. Think T is about to kill Maybourne...

Writer's Block: All Broken Up

backswingjack — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:09:06 GMT

it was about 2 and bit years ago. thing was i wanted to break up with him months earlier, but he couldnt handle it....so i waited and I was the one to get dumped. it wasnt easy at first. but, after a few months i could handle flirting and went for it. a couple of one night stands and, a year after the break up i went internet dating and found my soulmate. over a year we have been dating now, and, even though it was difficult; youhave to learn to trust again. I did and I'm happy!

hey, i gave it a go...

backswingjack — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:48:59 GMT

Hey! It's me...

backswingjack — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:05:19 GMT

So. I haven't been home for at least two days now. "King Arkham" has taken over my tv, my bed...but the last blow was the cake specially made for me. Was asking around the House if anyone could...theoretically speaking, put out a hit on him. They were laughing their asses off. Dumbasses.

Then I asked Daniel if I could crash at his. He gave me that irritating look, followed by the smile of "You're a dumbass" (patronising I think they call it), and said that I had brought this all on myself. So much for me saving his ass so many times, and covering it (literally). That's the last time I wrap the Stars and Stripes around him, that's for sure.

T is on Chulak with Ry'ac. Apparently he's going to be a grandad. I sure hope the next generation don't inherit the eyebrow...

Carter is on holiday. She said I could stay at hers but without her there it'd be...weird. It'd be weird if she was there anyway-I hate those awkward silences where I don't have anywhere else to look but at the floor.

But, as the cook has brought me cake, I better go home to Maybourne and face the music....

Hopefully there's still some beer left...

Beware of Maybourne bearing cake.....

backswingjack — Sun, 24 May 2009 13:56:51 GMT

Maybourne dropped by as I was golfing through the gate. Apparently Sheppard has a concussion and is in the infirmary now. Ha.

Now, I am, by nature a distrustful guy, especially when a person comes by UNANNOUNCED with cake...

Talk of cake interests me, especially if it's to cheer someone up or if they want to cheer me up. So Maybourne bearing cake was...emmm....ironic in itself. Something that makes me miserable brings something to cheer me up...
'
Oh, how my gut tells me something is up. Maybourne standing there all smug with cake and everyone crowding round him like flies round...whatever...

So I'm feeling like I did whenever that snake was in my head, and Carter suggests I let Maybourne stay with me...

ME???!!!

Ah crap....

Unfortunately I said this out loud... The eyebrow was raised, sharp looks exchanged...You'd think I shot him! (If only...)

So, he's on my sofa....Temporary thing. I told T he has him next month. He raised his eyebrow and said he was needed on Chulak-I've never seen him move so fast... Carter won't take him, and Daniel is, well, Daniel-enjoying this (I asked him if he'd like to ascend again...).

So, I am not going home yet. I wonder if Woolsey is up for another game of gate golf.....

well, ain't that just grand....

backswingjack — Sun, 24 May 2009 10:21:06 GMT

I hate you guys.

I REALLY hate you guys.

Especially Maybourne. Not one of you...people have left a single message.

And as for Sheppard-I am SO close to pushing through a court-marshall. I could bust his ass down to Major so fast it'd make his eyes water....But then I think of the paperwork and it makes me even madder!

Not one of you have even offered CAKE!!!

If I could I would cry, but I'm too important and handsome.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have very important duties to do and some ass to kick, then I'm going golfing.
Sheppards head IS the target...

Come on Woolsey....

hello...Maybourne......

backswingjack — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:22:54 GMT

Ah Crap. The "King" is returning.

It's times like these that make me wish he wasn't, but there you have it. He was sending coded messages through the iris again (rolling eyes upward). Apparently his brothel of women were getting too much for him! (Hammond and I had a real good laugh the day we found the "King"-I can still see him in his office in Cheyenne, his Texan drawl belting out the biggest laugh I ever heard out of him!)
Apparently it's not as good to be King as Hutch thought...

I said he could start as "King" again on another planet-I even offered him a REAL nice deal...PX something or other...as isolated as you can get and as FAR from me as possible. The fact that it is a planet nearly made entirely of ice drew a couple of sharp looks, especially from Daniel and Carter. Hell, I even got the eyebrow from Teal'c when I suggested it would be perfect!

Geez, can't a guy get a break?

Like I care

backswingjack — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:28:57 GMT

Damn Daniel. Sometimes I am soooo glad I don't have his way with words...

This is such a pain in the ass. I've been logging on now for days at Col Sheppard's advice, and, like my lake, not so much as a damn nibble...

But then that's the way I like it. I can sit here, with my beer, venting thoughts and nobody annoying me. Silence....ahhh...

Showed T what I wrote. He gave me the eyebrow and asked why I even considered this. Good question. Naturally I didn't have the answer, just laughed at the idea of this myself.

Anyway, I've got staffing forms to fill out and other White House stuff to do. Guess I'll just go and put on my uniform and "look pretty"....

Houston..The Cake Has Landed

backswingjack — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:17:10 GMT

FINALLY got some cake...hmmm...chocolate....WWHS? (What Would Homer Say?)

The Pres came and asked if I'd like to do the trial run of a new prototype-thingy that Carter's been working on. I said that all my paperwork was TOO exciting (natch), and I'd have to pass....Unless there was cake...and there it was. Cool.

I dont know bout the technical mumbo-jumbo, but then that's Carter's area. From what I could remember, it was something from the Ancients and old text that Daniel was nosing round, yaddah, yaddah...
Got to the end of my patience and yelled at both of them to cut the crap-hey it's me.

So, I'm flying the super cool jet at 0600.

Going to finish my beer, ice cold....

no cake

backswingjack — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:40:19 GMT

Not happy at all. After T beat me on the south moon of Chulak I've been a helluva grump. 460 light years and 2000 yards? I really need to work on my backswing, but I put it down to that lousy s.o.b of a snake in my head. Saved my life, but could've preserved my swing.....

Then I return to find that the Pres had the cook sacked! So, no cake for a while. The new cook SUCKS.

On another topic, I await hearing from J Sheppard. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

A picture tells a thousand words....Daniel told me...

backswingjack — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:36:31 GMT

I. Am. Bored.
Please someone take me on a trip through the Stargate? It's been ages since I've been through that glorious hole.....
Actually, I'm on Chulak (I lied). T and I are off to play golf soon, on a moon to the south.
I hope that THIS time I set the record.....3 par sec course, not bad....no beer though...

In the meantime, back on Earth, Carter/Davis/Mackay (anymore innuendo/come ons and I will kill him) are working on making my head smaller so it can fit on this site...Pity. I thought I looked good with a mullet.

If anyone wants to annoy me with a mission and/or some beer that'd be cool...

Ah crap...gotta go. T is in his tweeds.....