If this ain't love then how do we get out? That's when she said I don't hate you

Holy

2009-03-24T02:18:47Z

Seeing the BSG fandom up in the flames?

Oh it brings back so many memories. It's so strange to NOT be the one having my still beating heart ripped out, stomped on and then...thrown out a 10 story building into a giant pile of glass just for good measure.

It's interesting. And kind of glad that I vowed NEVER to get that emotionally involved/invested in a show ever again because....writers fuck you over. They really do. They'll leave breadcrumbs they'll string you along, making you believe that they really loved and cared for a character.

Then we get S6 and S7 Buffy. Then we get...S3/S4 (and to an extent S5 I don't think it was interesting or had much layers to it that could make me hate it, but it wasn't good...) of ATS....what the...?!

I still contend that the INTENT-slash-meaning behind Chosen was way better than NFA.

Angel - let's go on a kamikaze mission not knowing whether it will actually make the world a better place, but I'll be dead so I won't be alive to see it...so who cares! Also let's kill an innocent human being in the process. I ~~kind of~~REALLY had a huge problem with Lindsay dying, and I KNOW, we ALL know that humans with *souls* can be every bit as bad as demons can, but the metaphor was in the demons. There was a specific line where our heroes would NEVER cross. EVER. It meant that they had a chance, that they had a chance to redeem themselves, and they wouldn't EVER absolutely EVER have to kill someone unless there was no other choice (I threw that in because of Graduation - Faith/Buffy, because she was painted into a corner, but the writers were *VERY* conscious of the Buffy DOESN'T KILL HUMANS part of the show). It was touched on briefly in Ted but..you get the point. But I digress, he went in...I almost want to say less heroic because he goes in pretty much because he's sick and tired of fighting and the take home message was supposed to be "keep fighting". First off, Joss - LAME. 2) IT WAS SO A CLIFFHANGER!1! *bitchslaps*

I get that ATS was "darker" and I scoff at the "more adult" notion...but...it just rubs me the wrong way. I feel like as much as some people might have hated Buffy in the last two seasons, they tried to redeem her in the last ep. It was epic. There was purpose, there was meaning and her plan MADE SENSE.

I think my point being, and I actually have a little bit of bias and bitterness towards Angel that in a lot of respects he got it easier than Buffy. Buffy gets humiliated by the nerds (in both the last seasons), no, the fact that her nemeses for the season were 3 human losers. Her mother dies, she's left with no money, has a fake sister that isn't a really real to take care of, bills to pay, a fucking gang of people living in her house who DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO IT AT ALL - except for Xander who fixes stuff and picks Dawn up from school. While Willow boo-hoos her way through the last two seasons and is pretty much useless and also annoying. Buffy has no money, can't get a real job, has to drop out of school while trying to readjust herself from being ripped from heaven. Was the Connor thing bad? Yes but he gets him back, and one of Angel's biggest problems that season was Cordy sleeping with him? GRR. But I think the fact that he didn't have to deal with anything outside of that kind of makes it unfair to say the least, while simultaneously not making him seem like a "real" person (...or vampire). He's a got a hotel, he charges people to work cases, he has a stash of cash hidden in said hotel. With that being said this doesn't mean I don't like Angel, it doesn't. It just means I love Buffy more and maybe she never had to know what it was like to have the blood of thousands of people on her conscious. But she had so much shit piled on her at the same time, and no one gave her the credit she deserved or the benefit of the doubt. How many times has Buffy thought one way, while the others felt another...and turns out Buffy was right all along?

A lot of stuff made me think about it because I mourned my Buffy so much. While Buffy was losing people in her life, Angel was gaining them, with power and money. It's quite the contrast. There is actually a really interesting meta on the feminist aspect of this, and actually carlyinrome wrote a really interesting essay on Buffy and Xander, and talked about the things that Xander (or the men) were allowed to get away with versus what Buffy couldn't. Do I think this was done on purpose on the show? No, but it's the society we live in. Angel is allowed to become colder, more powerful, become a general and is feared and revered while Buffy gets demonized and booted from her house.

(I'm getting off topic here...)

The point is, in my eyes Buffy went down heroically...and no she didn't have to die to do it. Let's count 3 key times where she sacrificed herself to save the world...Chosen was no different. They go in knowing that there is a high chance they might die (but is thus, different than the suicide mission of NFA). They do it because this is THE FIRST EVIL, the evil of all evils and they have NO CHOICE but to go to war. It's this...or the world as we know it implodes. Sidenote: I agreed with Buffy that they had to go back to the vineyard because they were definitely guarding something there. Again, was she not right about it the whole time? I think so.

Cut to NFA - was it *necessary* or was Angel just fed up and didn't care whether he lived or died? What exactly would taking down the Senior Partners accomplish, and knowing well enough that they are in EVERY part of the world. Joss tells us that the message is to keep fighting...but is he? Is he really? I know that it's easy to say they should keep fighting blah blah blippity blah, but I feel like if there's a way to see Angel go...it wouldn't be like this. It would be him fighting tooth and nail, for the world, for the people he loves, for his fallen friends, to save lives (uh..channel Buffy?). When the fucking episode ended I sat there in silence, staring at my tv thinking..."Where's the rest of this goddamn episode? This is it? This is REALLY how they're ending it?". So...Angel goes on a nutso kamikaze mission NOT saving the world, accomplishing..? With an army of...5? Only 3 of them being supernatural beings? Buffy goes in, she prepares she goes in with an army and with a purpose. Now she's going out fighting, she's fighting for the world she lives in even though she knows it's not perfect.

So to me that makes Buffy's ending more epic and heroic. We get closure with enough leeway for more stories. People complain that Joss "forced" these girls to become slayers, but I don't necessarily see it that way. I understand some people are saying it's not fair because only select girls will get the power, but I think the point was not to make them slayers and take their choices away, but to give them that power, that confidence and to chose what they want to do with it. Nothing was taken from them, they were given. And most of all we got hope. We think that Buffy has come to peace with herself, with her destiny, who she is, what she is. We see that there is still a fire between Buffy and Angel, that despite everything that's happened, miles apart, years apart, heaven and hell...it's still there. That impossible love that they both cling to the faintest hope...faint, but still there. "Someday" is everything and I think that's more than enough for us B/Aers to keep telling their story for years to come. Someday means not now, and maybe not in this life, but one day they will find a way back to each other. They might not have children and a white picket fence, hell Angel may never become human...but they'll have each other. They'd have had the good, the bad and everything in between. So I pity the BSG fandom, I feel for the Lee/Kara shippers. It's sad, and yo got royally fucked over from what I hear. Buffy got torn down in the last two seasons, but I, at least believe she came out on top in the end. Kara wasn't even granted that.

This ended up being so much longer than anticipated, I'm so tempted to just skip ahead and watch Chosen. AH...Must. Resist.

I dunno about you despite S6 and S7, I still look back on the show fondly. What could have been for S6, it started out so promising and I think maybe if it weren't for the debacle that was Buffy/Spike gratuitous nakedness, and trying to make Spike into Angel 2.0...the season wouldn't have been half bad. Could Buffy and Spike get close? Could he have become her confidante, absolutely! A lot of it had to do with the fact that Chosen was fairly satisfying - was it great? No...but I think it was enough. Our hero prevails, and she comes out as heroic as ever.

Oh fuck...

2008-12-23T04:40:46Z

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY!

LAUREN! I knew it was your birthday...but I don't know what happened! I'm a DAY LATE! So very sorry!

I hope it was good, and you got to eat lots of junk and candy.

Iiiiiit's HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!

...or not happy birthday lauren? Or well it was yesterday.

Oh sigh.

Total brainfart :(

ba4ever @ 2008-11-16T14:45:00

2008-11-16T19:45:51Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY burkle!!

<3

2008-09-14T03:38:08Z

41 icons, 33 SMG among other things

HERE HERE HERE!

ICON DUMP! PILOT POST AND MORE!

2008-08-08T03:04:49Z

Frig, how long has it been since I've posted icons? Next to FOREVER.

Well I'm happy and giddy with this batch, I mean I'd just been kinda iconing, but I'm WAY back into it again (and BTVS!) must come with the territory.

So I have a HUGE frigging post HERE @ _lushkink, and you best believe I'm x-postin' this sucka.

There are a total of 103 icons, which include, WTTH/TH, City Of, Wax Lion (Wonderfalls), The Rock, a few headers...there just a shitload.

WHEEEE!

2008-07-10T16:21:55Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEZ!

*muah*

LOL, after I...left a message on your facebook and also gave you a call.

*smooches*

Oh and that's canadiangirl_86 if you didn't know. Shit, are we getting old or what :P

You better have written down those wedding plans...because with our old age, you never know..

Yuuup

2008-05-02T04:42:12Z

So most normal folk would be going over and over in their had their packing list...but I'm cool, it's all done, only things I need are stuff I'll be using in the morn so I'll just pack 'em up after I'm done.

And with regards to that last post...ya I got cold feet, but not enough to stop me from actually going through wit it. But believe you me, the excitement of it all is trumping everything, I'm still excited (despite my trepidations). So glad I've got Neo Citron, it shall keep me from staying up all night. But I'll get to the point...

ICONSES!

BLAST!

2008-04-28T21:39:05Z

Ker bought Mario Kart for our Wii yesterday and he got two wheels. Fucking AWESOME. Hee!

Checking my phone madly all day to see if Scott would call me about my application. I get home, turns out he called me at home this morning and left a message with my mom. Stating that everything is fine with my application and that I don't have to worry.

PHEW.

BUT he only called me back cuz I emailed him? (I think that's what my mom said he said..). What? Are we robots? We only respond to electronic mail nowadays? Gosh. I wanted to speak to him in person.

...

Whatev. Now I'll never have to speak to him again because everything is resolved.

********

I almost didn't go into work today cuz I felt so shit, but I looked at the clock and thought how crappy would it be for me to only give an hour's notice? Besides the fact I'm only working til Wednesday.

FUCK. I forgot to ask the girls if they want to go out for drinks or something after work tomorrow. BLAST!

But...that stress is done.

I went to Desi's office today to talk to him about my money. He said cuz of the new payroll company there was a lot of problems so they're just going to add an additional payroll this week, that he's submitting the paperwork by 4 so we can get it direct deposited by Thursday. I asked him if he was 100% sure because I'm not going to be at work. Then he goes on to tell me I'm only get 1 1/4 hrs of overtime or some such bullshit. Then I'm arguing (well...not really but I was getting annoyed) and telling him I worked almost 93 hours, and that overtime is 88hrs. He said 48 over a week. So that I only worked 49 and some change on one week. WTF? Trying to tell me I only worked an hour of overtime?! FUCK THAT SHIT.

So he's like I'm going to contact management and find out, cuz I was insisting that I get the full 5.22 (or whatev..) of overtime, that it was ridiculous that only OVER 48 is o/t? How messed is that? So anyway he tells me he'll find out, and I couldn't say anything...I just kinda walked out of his office cuz I was pissed off. He calls me back later and tells me that he double checked and I would indeed get the 5+ hrs of overtime.

This guy is FUCKED in the head. Yeesh.

Anyway so that shit is settled...I think everything is coming full circle. FINALLY.

Now I'm hungry for something salty...and I gotta beat this cold before Friday. (I mean I should or else that's one freaking long cold...but still the days have been going by fast).

P.S I heard She's Like the Wind on the radio at work...someone musta been listening to either One Hit Wonders, Oldies or Easy Rock. But I busted out in song though cuz I'm awesome.

WHEEE.

I have enough icons/graphics for a post, but I'm gonna get a few more in and prob make a post in the next coupla days.

I'M DYING.

2008-04-13T01:28:30Z

Kitty Wigs

Yes.

That is all.

Fucking read the whole site (including the links/interviews). You'll CRY it's so funny.

And no it's dirty. But so many jokes could be made.

Lee and I spent endless hours mocking this.

Oh boredom...What can you do for me?

2008-02-19T02:18:38Z

Seriously, entertain me.

Comment and answer these questions:

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a negative or optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you chose?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

I AM THE B/A ICON QUEEN!

2007-12-18T03:10:24Z

...or something to that effect. Or I just like to make B/A goodness. LOTS. It's been severely lacking and I shall remedy the situation.

[28]B/A
[6] Seth Green
[2] Michael Trucco
[3] Weeds
+1 Header

Right the hell H E R E @ _lushkink

In light of the official anniversary..

2007-11-22T16:37:37Z

HAPPY U.S THANKSGIVING! I always forget that it's on a Thursday and that's always somehow surprising to me...every year. Hahaha. I'm so cool.

And also the anniversary of IWRY. As you can see in celebration I have changed my layout *G*

Yay I took one day and just customized a whole bunch of layouts and created styles so I could just switch between layouts easily. I think I have about 3 or 4 set up.

ba4ever ba4ever ba4ever

SQUEE

2007-10-03T00:02:19Z

PUSHING DAISIES! NOW!

SQUEE!

Lee Pace is one sexy bitch.

Tee hee.

2007-07-18T05:14:36Z

Again, sometimes I forget how much I love Caroline Dhavernas - note it's pronounced Carolyn because she's French Canadian.

I mentioned last week that I'd FINALLY got to see Edge of Madness featuring Caroline, Brendan Fehr and Peter Johansson, again another Canadian film. It's about an abused wife (Caroline) in 19th century Manitoba, shows up in the dead of winter, on the "edge of madness" due to the cold (and constant abuse suffered) claiming she murdered her husband (Fehr), but there are conflicting stories about what happened, so Mullen (Johansson) sets out to investigate.

It's almost like a murder mystery just because of the plot, but it's more of a drama, there's a bit of a tragic love story there too. Anyway it's extremely well acted by Caroline - who boasts her adorable French accent, if you've never heard it, you'll get to. You'll also get to hear her sing! Aw, so *very* very cute. She has quite a beautiful voice actually.

She was actually voiced trained to get rid of her accent, she jokes in the Wonderfalls commentary that when it was late and she was tired, the accent would come out, maybe to make it easier to get jobs, as she's worked heavily in Canada. Although, she's adamant on doing Canadian/Indie films, she rarely does much mainstream - although I'd love for her to be more discovered in the States. She does have a small role in Hollywoodland as Adrian Brody's girlfriend. I'm looking it up..and *squee* she's in Breach (haven't seen it yet, but have been meaning to)? She looks so pretty with Ryan Phillipe!! Wow, so she got to have sleep with both David Boreanaz *and* Ryan Phillipe? Hahah. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh I actually thought Brendan Fehr was really good too, he had a very heavy Scots accent, and he was *so* ruthless and horrible - his character that is. I ended up taping it..on VHS because that was what was readily available to me at the moment and I ran upstairs quickly to tape it because it had already started.

The movie isn't bad, it's by no means a work of art, not the most original film to ever be made, but I think to see both Caroline and Brendan's performances are worth it.

Oh yes, and she also had a small role in Out Cold.
*********************

Oh right, so back to Niagara Motel. It was odd because they were two movies I've been meaning to watch but it was *very* difficult to get a hold of them ANYWHERE save for probably buying them online, which probably doesn't have that much in stock since they're Indie films. Also I didn't want to buy them before I got the chance to watch them. So, also being a Canadian film, not much chance that I'd be able to find a place to download it :(. So to my surprise, I actually got to see them both in the same week! It's actually running on TMN right now, if you've got it, the next time it airs is on Tues, July 24th, for me it's either 7:45am, or 7pm but I suppose you'll have to check your local listings if you catch TMN.

Anywho, I knew it was going to be this small, quirky film. But I didn't think it would really be a comedy, but I think it's because it's actually more a dark comedy/drama.

This is the description off of IMDB:

In Niagara Motel, a group of struggling individuals cross paths at a low-rent motel in the tourist Mecca of Niagara Falls. The main characters are: a knockout waitress being recruited to star in low budget porn videos, a young couple with a criminal past struggling to recover their child from social services, and a middle class husband and wife in a marriage that is disintegrating in near record time. The story also includes a woeful drunken motel manager (Craig Ferguson), and a prostitute working to support two small children. The needs of these people, their obvious failings and the unlucky conditions of their lives make them so vulnerable that they careen from the disturbing to the hilarious in a breathless instant. In this story, tragedy waltzes with unpredictable comedy in an intense dance of life.

Guess who the knockout waitress, cum (it is actually spelled this way in context, even though I'm hesitating because of...what is IS, but I think that's actually grammatically correct) porn star to be is?! Caroline of course! I saw this and again, completely taken aback about how beautiful she is in this film.

I've seen a sort of mixture of reviews some that absolutely loved it (like me!) and some who thought it was unfunny...I can't really see how. But it has a pretty stellar cast, including Craig Ferguson (when is he NOT funny?), Kevin Pollack and Wendy Crewson which are the big names.

Might I add she also speaks French in this movie, quite a lot because her boyfriend is French and there's a lot of angry French and it's SEXY.

Caroline's eyes are SO SO BLUE in this movie, well...actually that IS what her eyes look like in real life. They're so ocean blue...they're almost hypnotic. I know that sounds SO lama and overdramatic..but ask Joh what happened when she was taking a picture of us when we were at the TFF to see These Girls! Look!

And no, I didn't edit her eyes in any way.

One of the funniest moments, I laughed out loud, thought about it...and then laughed some more.

Caroline: TELL HIM YOU HAVE A FUCKING STAPLER! and then...KP: OW, he fucking STAPLED me!

ROFLMAO.

Sorry I'm babbling, but I'm excited I finally got to see this movie! So I was supposed to dvdr it tonight, but I put the wrong date because it was playing at midnight. So now I shall have to wait until Tuesday to dvdr it. Which reminds me, I shall keep on with my search for more CD pics, she's not mainstream enough to have good galleries dedicated to her.

Eh, going to bed now. Not tired though. Race went well, pb'd again although I don't care that much. I feel like I've lost that competition fire for track, I mean I love the workouts, I really do, it makes me feel strong and good about myself, but I don't really care about racing that much anymore. I think it's because I know I'll never go to the Olympics or anything. Nicole mentioned she thought she was a bit burned out, and I agree, I think I'm burned out of racing. Meanwhile, I'm going to bed now so that I can get up for practice tomorrow lol.

ICONSES AT LONG LAST!

2007-07-16T19:51:34Z

So I just checked to see when my last post was done...and WOW my batch was on March 25th. Holy cow.

I also realized that I never x-posted my LARGE HEADER POST here. I sorries.

I shall remedy this with THE BIGGEST ICON POST ON PLANET EEEAAARTH!

Or you know, just a very large post of about some 100 icons or so, right the HELL H E R E!.

[54] BTVS {B/A, Buffy, Angel, SMG, DB...}
[33] BSG {Katee/Starbuck, Aaron/Chief, A/K, Kara, Anders..}
[14] Dead Like Me
[17] Random {Bones, Carly Pope, Scott Speedman, Heath Ledger, Chris Cornell...}

And as per request, there is plenty of nummy David goodness ;)

Seriously. SOMEONE FIND ME SOME TRUCCO PICS STAT! He's TOO pretty to not have enough pics of him floating around the net.

Karla's Official Book List

2007-07-03T01:47:20Z

I discussed this with exposed1 about making a book list, and tagging recs/reviews (whenever we make one, I'll make a new post with a tag, and then update this list) for easy access. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but as school became more intense, didn't seem like I ever had the time. So it's now summer and nows as good a time as any to get my read on. I've finished 3 and am about to move on to my 4th. I have a fairly ecclectic taste I think. But I kind of like books that really make me cry or really make me laugh, or both is even better!

I'm just going to do this chronologically, starting with the most recent and as I read a new one I'll add it to the top:

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, 2003.

Synopsis:
"A most untraditional love story, this is the celebrated tale of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who involuntarily travels through time, and Clare Abshire, an artist whose life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Clare's passionate affair endures across a sea of time and captures them in an impossibly romantic trap that tests the strength of fate and basks in the bonds of love"

Thoughts:
I actually think the description makes it seem sort of like a cheesy romance novel, but instead what you get is a tale of love, loss, and tragedy. Both Clare and Henry are tragic heroes, caught up in a tragic yet, undeniable love. The story really isn't about Henry at all, like the title suggests it's Clare's journey that's important. Following the trials and tribulations of falling in love with a time traveler who has absolutely no control as to when and where he goes. It's also a story about fate, that although he can come from the future, he can't change anything that isn't going to happen, so there is this certain helplessness that no matter what they do, things are going to unfold in a certain way - good or bad. It's just wonderfully written (alternatively and sometimes simultaneously from the POV of either Henry or Clare), I was absolutely captivated from the get go and..it's just not your typical love story at all. I mean I've got all these B/A lovers on my list right? So I hope you guys give this one a chance, because I'm itching to discuss this with somebody!

P.S This book was "rec-ed" to me by Sarah Michelle Gellar *G*. Actually I'd been meaning to read it because I have a tendency to only read rec-ed books, I can't just go and browse. So because I'm this huge SMG fan, I trusted her judgment :P as I suspect canadiangirl_86 did, which is why she bought the book so that I could steal it off of her haha. So I'm going to have to go out and buy this book.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay, 2004

Synopsis:
"Dexter Morgan isn't exactly the kind of man you'd bring home to Mom. Though he's playful and has a wonderfully ironic sense of humor, Dexter's one character flaw (his proclivity for murder) can be off-putting. But at heart Dexter is the perfect gentleman, supportive of his sister, Deb, a Miami cop, and interested only in doing away with people who really deserve his special visit. Dex is quite good-looking but totally indifferent to (and, frankly, a bit puzzled by) the attentions paid to him by women. Despite the fact that he can't stand the sight of blood, he works as a blood-spatter analyst for the Miami police department, a job that allows him to keep tabs on the latest crimes and keep an eye open for his next quarry."

"Dexter's well-organized life is suddenly disrupted when a second, much more visible serial killer appears in Miami. Dex is intrigued, even delighted, by the fact that the other killer appears to have a style reminiscent of his own. Yet he can't help but feel that the mysterious new arrival is not merely invading his turf but reaching out to him as well. This new killer seems to be doing more than copying Dexter - he seems to be saying, "Come out and play." Dexter's secret life makes for a lonely existence... even a lovable monster can be intrigued by the prospect of finding a friend."

Thoughts:
First in the series, it's a dark, morbid, and hilarious. Dexter is a character like no other, aside from his little hobby he's a pretty normal guy on the outside. But I like that it's a narrative so you can really get into his mind, he doesn't consider himself "human" as such, but he just has to act like one. I found myself laughing out loud in parts of this book. I mean..it really is creepy to get into the mind of a serial killer, but Lindsay really makes this genre fresh and original.

It's an easy read, highly entertaining and the show (on Showtime, or TMN) stays true to the book. Season 1 follows this book fairly closely so I'm told.

Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay, 2005

Synopsis:
I can't find the synopsis off the book jacket online at the mo. But I don't think this really needs a description, another book, another killer and Dexter has the unfortunate job of trying to help his kid sister Deborah catch him.

Thoughts:
I actually read this out of order by mistake. I was going away on vacation and wanted something to read, my dear friend Sharmin recommended this to me. The library didn't really specify that this was the second in the series so I picked it up. But you don't REALLY need to read the first one to understand the second one, there are a few more background information and details but nothing terribly important that will help you understand its sequel. Again along the same vein as the first book, I actually might have enjoyed this one a wee bit more than the first, I think it was just more plotty, had a bit more punch to it, I'm not actually quite sure why, could be I also like Deb better in this one than in the first.

The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons, 2001

Synopsis:
"With the war in Europe seemingly far away from 1941 Leningrad, sisters Tatiana and Dasha Metanova share a cramped apartment with their family. Their lives under Stalin are harsh and deprived. As Hitler's armies are about to invade their beloved homeland, Tatiana finds hope in Alexander, a young Red Army officer--a man with a mysterious past and a terrifying secret."

Thoughts:
I have a fondness for love stories - tragic ones, heartbreak, love, loss, the whole shebang and this has it all. I can't remember the last time I cried so hard during a book, and not just once, multiple times. Not to mention it takes place during WWII - again something I have a fondness for (as I discovered when we studied the Holocaust in HS, and not to mention one of my other fave books The Cay). Reading books that take place during that time, it makes you appreciate life more, grab on to the ones you love that much harder, it intensifies the situations and if you can find love during those trying times, kind of makes anything possible. Love isn't the only obstacle, it's war and everything going around you, and it makes you love those characters that much more, for believing, for having the strength to go on amongst all the tragedy. This was rec-ed to me by stephie04 and I loved it. I was going away and needed another book to bring with me, the only copy I could find at my local branch was a hugeass 656pg hardcover and I lugged it with me to Vancouver. I was there for a wedding/family stuff and yet still I was able to finish it in a week. I would stay up til 3 or 4 in the morning, I absolutely could not put this book down. At the time I read this, a few years ago, she told me there was a sequel - thank god! But was also told that it wasn't available in English at the time, believe me, I looked. But I was just thinking about it the other day, rec-ing this to my bro's gf and there it was, the sequel! So I'm going to have to pick that up next and I'll for sure let you know how it is. She sort of described this as a book that any B/A lover would love, which I essentially think means that two people that would cross time and space to be with another, the sacrifices they have to make. The passionate love that they share, and throw in a bit of smutty goodness for good measure ;). I actually forgot I wanted to buy this book, I'll have to do that soon.

The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank, 1999

Synopsis:
Generous-hearted, smartly comic, and wickedly insightful, The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing maps the progress of Jane Rosenal as she sets out on a personal and spirited expedition through the perilous terrain of sex, love and relationships. After several relationships that have gone in the wrong direction, one with an older man and a few come-and-go boyfriends, Jane learns not only when to fish and when to cut bait, but who really makes the rules.

Thoughts:
Ok...so that description pretty much sucks. I don't have the book with me because I lent it to my brother's gf but when I get it back I'll change it. I'm just too lazy to think of my own description lol. But I preferred this to Bridget Jones' Diary (unlike what one of the reviewers said). Jane is independent, intelligent while Bridget is a flake, pretty much when you think about it. Although she's loveable, Jane is just a more real character, where Bridget is more like a cartoon. But I still think that if you'd like one, you'd like the other. It's an easy read, full of ups and downs and she just felt really real to me. I read it very quickly and not much later read it again. It's heartwarming and gives a girl hope, not to mention hilarious. I just identify with her, her personality, her humour a lot.

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, 2002

Synopsis:
This is straight from Amazon because I don't think the description on the inside cover (yes! I own it!) really does this justice. "On her way home from school on a snowy December day in 1973, 14-year-old Susie Salmon is lured into a makeshift underground den in a cornfield and brutally raped and murdered, the latest victim of a serial killer--the man she knew as her neighbor, Mr. Harvey.

The Lovely Bones works as an odd yet affecting coming-of-age story. Susie struggles to accept her death while still clinging to the edge of the living, always attached to her lost world, following her family's dramas over the years as if watching an episode of "My So-Called Afterlife". Her family disintegrates in their grief: her father becomes determined to find her killer, her mother withdraws, her little brother Buckley attempts to make sense of the new hole in his family, and her younger sister Lindsey moves through the milestone events of her teenage and young adult years with Susie riding spiritual shotgun...."

Thoughts:
On first glance, it sort of reads like it could be a thriller of some sort, especially when the first sentence goes as follows "My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973." This is one of the most unique (and strange! But in a good way) books I've ever read, again seems sort of morbid and disturbing on first glance but it's a life after death and as the description says, a coming of age story..even though Susie will never age again. I picked this up in high school, after our final project my OAC year, a friend of mine did hers on this one and praised it so I thought, this a strange strange story. But it was full of heartbreak, irony, hope. Actually in retrospect it sort of reminds of an episode of Dead Like Me, in the way that George (Susie) looks back upon her life, while she moves forward in her afterlife, she can only look on helplessly as her (former) family life falls apart. Again now that I'm thinking about it again it hits so close to the series finale of DLM (the Halloween episode). Wow, interesting I never thought of it that way.

To be continued... there are a few other books that I have to work on, but this has taken long enough so I'm taking a break, so until next time..DUH DUH DUUUH!

Synopsis:

Thoughts:

Synopsis:

Thoughts:

Synopsis:

Thoughts:

So come on, share your book experiences with me! Make your own list, tag it so when I'm in need of a new rec I know where to look *G*

ba4ever @ 2007-07-01T11:54:00

2007-07-01T16:22:14Z

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Everyone came over to our house for dinner, including the baby WHEE! She always puts me in a good mood, although she won't crawl, she will only butt scooch everywhere though it's super cute. If you ask her what a doggie says she'll stick her tongue out and do this panting thing, or if you ask her what a cat says she'll meow. Aww. I wish I took some pics or vids, but I didn't. Oh well. She looks essentially the same but with a bit more hair. Anyway, ate waaay too much. Not only did we have lobster, we had steak and chicken..among other things.

That was some good eatin'.

Dunno what I'm doing today or tomorrow, nothing I would assume, reading, watching movies. Maybe we'll go out to lunch or something. I have no idea what Mo and Laura are doing and if Laura is able to get down here? We never talked about doing anything, but I kinda just want to hang out, I'm not this huge fan of fireworks I mean..I sort of think that you spend all this time getting down there and bringing all this stuff so you can hang out there so long (or if you don't, you struggled to get there with the crowd) for a 15 min show, that I could probably see from my house. Eh I dunno I just don't feel like really going out, just feeling like hanging with my buddies, something low key.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go down to Waterloo for lunch or something, and I was going to go because Wes was going to go, but I hate going to family stuff like that (with people, friends of my parents that I don't know that well) when neither of my brothers are going. I mean I like them, they're cool, but it's in Waterloo it's not there's much to do there, it's like 1.5hr drive down there, so I'll be stuck. So now I dunno if I'm going or not.

What to do today...nothing's open except for some restaurants or something, of course the asian ones..cuz we never close lol.

I think I might want to bake something today....but I don't know if I have ingredients and I won't be able to go out and buy. Hmm. Actually I think my mom said she was going to make blueberry pie. But I'm in the mood for chocolate.

Oh and I'm watching this Nickolodeon (sp?) show called Unfabulous, never heard of it but it's with that new Nancy Drew chick - Emma Roberts? Actually apparently the daughter of Eric and niece of Julia, and anywho it's kind of funny and there was a BUFFY REFERENCE! Hahaha. They were talking about being in denial when there's a death and she references Buffy's death, before she was resurrected and how she was so traumatized. Guess she had to make sure we knew she was talking about The Gift instead of Prophecy Girl haha. But I'm assuming this is a relatively new(ish?) show? I mean they would have been like 8 when that aired. Wow, that makes me feel old :P

Also I got my hair cut yesterday and it only cost me 18 bucks with tip! Ugh, I never even want to tip with a hairdresser, I mean all they are doing is cutting my hair and layering it, it's not rocket science for them, and it only takes like 20 mins. But then I feel like I'm being cheap if I don't. Argh. But I go to the place I normally go to, the first time was like 25 and now all of a sudden I'm playing like 50 which is ridiculous. Anyway she lopped off quite a bit from the front, I told her just below my chin. I'm not sure if you can see it or not H E R E. But also..I was just being vain by wanting to take a picture of myself LMFAO. But I'm not Dee, and I so don't pull off that sexy/pouty look, so instead I do the expressionless stoic one.

I need to work on it :P

Anyway glad it was cheap and I'm not one of those people that will cry if their hair gets cuts too short or something. But it's less than half the price of the other place. Maybe I'll try and get a better picture if I'm bored.

ICONSES ICONSES ICONSES!

2007-03-25T20:54:08Z

Icons come and get 'em! @ _lushkink

[40] BTVS {all from WTTH}/SMG
[17] Wonderfalls
[17] BSG - Jamie Bamber, Katee Sackhoff, A/K

Aw, good ol Buffy.

2007-03-13T05:29:30Z

This is my tribute to BTVS - would have done so sooner if I wasn't out of town...

I watched, I laughed, I cried, I loved. BTVS changed my life as weird as that sounds. I know that most people would say it changed theirs in some form or another but it always sounds weird when I say it out loud. Because come ON it's a freaking television show!

Ah...but it was NEVER just a tv show to us was it?

I always find it hard to put into words, and how to express my gratitude for what this show gave me, I mean without repeating what everyone else is saying and just trying to be honest.

It all started with my mom randomly picking up Buffy the Vampire Slayer: the movie from the library for some reason. But at the time I watched it...it was funny and corny and even though it wasn't what Joss had envisioned, I still sort of loved it. I mean I DO own the dvd people. I think maybe it had potential, this alternate universe where a cheerleader gets to KICK SOME ASS. She owned it. She was stronger than any of the men around her and it was just..comforting. It was campy, I realize this but it was highly amusing and I guess that's all you need when you're something of a 12 yr old.

Fast forward to the revival of this into a tv show. I can't remember how long it was between the movie and the show - I don't think it was much longer, in fact it might just so happen to be the same year it premiered, I can't really remember. I'm not sure how I found out about the tv show, but a friend mentioned it to me, and I sort of shrugged it off. I do, however remember that my very first full episode was Teacher's Pet, then I cannot remember which S1 episode came next, but I remember being slightly scared hahah. Anyway I didn't pay too much attention during S1, but then for some reason I decided to catch up on S1 in the reruns and not having to suffer through too much of a lay period between S1 and S2. But watching S1 all together and in order really did me in, I loved the show and was anticipating S2.

Let's just fast forward through all those other details because bottom line is that I'm a BTVS, Buffy and B/A lover for life. This show was funny, campy and yet devastating with amazing character development and rich captivating story lines. Hello S2! I think that's probably when it turned into full blown obsession because I was absolutely spoiler free and then I found Spoiler Slayer because I wanted...no..NEEDED to know what happened to Buffy and Angel after Becoming. I remember reading spoilers up until Faith, Hope and Trick just enough to tide me over and ensure that Angel, would indeed be back that season. Because HELLO HOTTIE. Hahah.

I'm not sure when I realized that I loved Buffy, the character as intensely as I do now, it seems almost in retrospect because I underestimated my unwavering love for her when people were hating on her in S7. Actually I thought I'd become active online in 2003, but I think it was actually 2002 because I had participating in those S7 analytical conversations. Hmm. But I digress.

The thing about Buffy is that I really identified with her, I saw a lot in myself in her. Just in the way she was so strong and so almost.. unintimidating until you got to meet the REAL Buffy. I had some good BTVS friends in elementary school but because I was skating so much - try 5 days a week, 6 in the winter that I'd always felt like an outsider. Like if people just looked at me they wouldn't realize what I was truly capable of. Gone through my entire life with people underestimating me, physically, when I'd always believed in myself. So it was as if that was my life she was leading, obviously no to the world in peril extent, but the fact that I was more than meets the eye and that underneath all of it, we were all heroes in our own ways. We worked hard, we made the sacrifices we had to to get where we wanted to be. So that went on for a long while having friends but never truly having friends outside of school, or skating, there was no medium. I was always missing school for competitions and I never rode the bus home with all the other kids because I was always picked up to go to practice...little things like that, but they made all the difference. So I suppose that's why Buffy (and the show) was so important to me. Also for the fact that for one hour a week, only that world existed and nothing else mattered, I would live vicariously through the life of Buffy.

I mean really, I'll admit, I'm still not truly convinced that demons, monsters and vampires don't actually exist :P

So even though the last two years of BTVS was pretty horrible for me to watch, I endured and it scared me to think....what would I do now? What would I invest myself in (other than school and skating because that WAS my life), something odd to think about, that I wondered how my favourite show ending would impact my life. LOL it really is kind of sad. But luckily I faithfully watched the reruns on SPACE and YTV for a number of years.

Through BTVS I discovered fandom, I discovered that there were people...almost more obsessed than I (now that's CRAZY!), I've met some people that would eventually become some really important people in my life. It's not just the show itself but what I got out of it, the friendships that were formed, realizing that ya, we had more than just a tv show in common. There have been some ups and downs in this fandom, but I wouldn't EVER change it for the world. There's just too much to cherish, too many memories that will stay with me for a very very very long time.

Episode analysis, character discussions, spoilers, relationships, fanfic all that stuff is worth it. Because I was so invested I don't know if I could ever be as invested in a show as I did this one. I mean really, truly I believe this was one of the BEST television shows to ever grace our screens. Literally. Buffy the most giving, generous, witty, beautiful inside and out, and truly flawed character. Yet, she was perfect. She was truly a role model, a hero for many of us girls who have at times felt a little alone in the world.

Nothing could ever take the place of this show.

I look back and I think...canadiangirl_86 is one of my best friends who I can talk to about anything, without fear of retribution or judgment in anyway, and although all of you guys are just so darn great, it's a completely different ballgame to have a person like that in real life. So solely based on that, it makes all of this worth it :)

So that's that. So much more I could be saying but it can't even do it justice. In my mind, BTVS is just untouchable. Just like in the article last week, there are some good shows, even great shows out there right now but I need to watch a couple of different shows to get everything that Buffy did in a single show. *sigh* I miss BTVS so so much, I miss the anticipation of new episodes week after week.

Ok now for some questions: when did you realize that BTVS was something special, Buffy? B/A (or whatever your fave ship is)? Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine! S/I gutted me. Completely threw me for a loop and I realized that ya this show had it all. Becoming, period. Buffy, Angel, B/A? Masterful. Can you tell that S2 is my all time favourite season?

Also, sorry if this completely over the top and cheesy, but I just can't help myself! Such a good damn show man. And now...I'm spent.

This week will be a Buffy week I haven't spent much time being fandomy other than making headers. This shall change!

HEADERIZATIONS AND ICONIFICATION!

2007-03-07T05:38:30Z

LAND HO! @ _lushkink

It's hard to give a teaser since most of them are headers....so er..my new layout shall be a sneak peak :P

Ya I'm cheap. SHUT IT.

I'm leaving for Montreal for CIS. WOOT! Fucking excited. As always I usually post something before I go on short hiatuses...or is it hiati? Kinda sucks that I'm in a headerization mood because it's good and all I've got a muse, but you can't really use them all interchangeably like you can icons. *sigh*

Anywhosit, I won't be back until Sunday afternoon.

Ciao!

ba4ever @ 2007-02-05T22:58:00

2007-02-06T04:40:46Z

This is a vid post for BT on Friday night :D most of which are not necessarily better quality, but just a different view and full recordings instead of just the clips I took. Which btw are all up and running now.

This is a pretty decent quality vid of Devil in a Midnight Mass...aside from the really bad voice of the girl singing along, I'm assuming it's the video-er? LOL.

Very cool vid for The Ex

Really electric, it was really cool he just started singing "In a crooked little town they were lost and never found.." and then everyone just started singing the chorus on their own, it was really cool. Unfortunately this video doesn't include the precursor to it, which was really cool - I got most of that part though :D

This was one of the best moments of the nights, that's saying a lot since there were LOTS of them *G*. This was during the encore right before Nothing to Lose when they turned out all the lights and had a hippie moment :D it was amazing!

</div>

Oh and Heroes was good tonight. THEY'RE ALL CONNECTED ZOMG! *ahem*

More stuff cuz I'm attention hor. This is my full recap of the show plus some of my vids and some uploaded songs...and this is my newest icon post :P Be a doll why don't ya?

Why is LJ so dead lately? Seriously, and maybe I'm just feeling needy..or maybe my posts are boring. I dunno just lately feel like just talking to people...and no one there to talk to me. Eh, whatever, guess I need a bit of down time - guess we all do.

But uh..no, really I'm bored, and I don't want to go to sleep yet.

On second thought I'm going to do work. Also..does anyone know what the raw html code for the embedded vids are? I like to manually code my posts and it's annoying to have to use rich text any time I want to post a vid. Anyone?

Bueller?

Er...I come bearing icons.

2007-02-05T03:40:03Z

Honestly, I think they're pretty mediocre, but be a friend and check 'em out anyway :P

H E R E @ _lushkink

We've got BTVS, BSG, Wonderfalls and a whirlwind of stuff OH MY!

ICONSES!

2006-11-30T18:53:14Z

It's been a while...

BTVS/ATS, DLM, Popular, Music and more! @ _lushkink

ba4ever @ 2006-09-17T15:01:00

2006-09-17T19:01:32Z

It's two days off of work for Karla and she's been scouring youtube for SP vids from Wednesday's show. Also partly because srahman24's camera was confiscated.... So anyway I stumbled upon this gem. It's so clear and close and AH! It's an amazing video. I just love how completely...goofy and happy he looks!

Chasing Cars live @ Kool Haus. 9/13/06. The epitome of why the show was so fucking awesome.

ETA: Um...so ya, no matter what I do, the vids won't show up on my fucking JOURNAL. I used the damn rich text editor even and *still* doesn't work. It doesn't even say there's an error with the code, so I'm thinking it HAS to be the url, but Sharmin used the same damn url and it worked for her. WTFBBQ? Why does LJ hate me? Is it because I'm asian???

Anyway Chasing Cars live @ the Kool Haus. for those that can't see it.

~~I'm fucking pissed right now.~~

ETA #2: I'm very sorry to all those flexible squares users like myself and canadiangirl_86 because none of us seem to be able to use and/or embed any vids (well youtube at least) onto our LJ. If you view it from my journal, nothing shows up, it's just a blank spot. Weird. I need to go complain to someone...and bring a bat.

I emailed to find out what was wrong and apparently because we have paid accounts and have made changes to the html it affected it somehow, so I had to change a part of my code so now it works.

FIC! (B/A) WHEE!

2006-09-16T15:24:30Z

I wrote this about...a week ago? Last weekend I think. Anyway here we go.

Title: No Time for Love
Author: Karla aka ba4ever
Summary: Takes place during “Surprise”, He wants to hold her, comfort her, and tell her that everything will be alright. But he can’t know that. No one can.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Welcomed, loved and appreciated. Concrit is the best, the only way we can improve :)
Disclaimer: But wee puppets used to amuse myself.
A/N: canadiangirl_86 took a looksie, but other than that relatively unbeta’d. Something started off written for still_my_girl, though I had an idea already, but turned out differently than expected? So maybe it works for it. Who knows. Oh and the title might be retarded and tentative.

************************

He doesn’t want to do this, but he knows he has to. She knows this too but refuses to believe it. If not him, then who? He couldn’t ever risk her life. No, it had to be him. He thinks if he could merely give her an extra day, a minute, a second of life, he’d trade it for his in a heartbeat.

He’s brooding, and rightly so. For the first time, there are no sarcastic comments, because she’s too lost in her own thoughts.

Her hand is wrapped tightly around his, and if he had any circulation it would be cut off. Her head rests against his shoulder - it makes for a bit of awkward walking, but neither of them seems to care.

They walk in tense silence until they reach their destination.

“I should go the rest of the way alone.”

She stops, head bowed, and refuses to meet his eyes.

Her breath hitches, “Ok,”

He doesn’t know when he’ll be back or if he will at all. With feigned confidence, he lies to her still.

“…if we’ll even what?”

He’s not sure why he asks the question, because he knows the answer. Feels it - has been feeling it, wanting it for some time now. Hell, since their first kiss.

She won’t look up, not wanting him to see the tears tumbling down her cheeks. He’s not sure he wants to either. But he lifts her chin with a gentle finger anyway.

He wants to hold her, comfort her, and tell her that everything will be alright. But he can’t know that. No one can. So he does the only thing he can do: he makes a promise to her. Friendship, loyalty…and love.

His heart is racing - or he thinks it is, he can’t remember what it feels like, has never been this nervous in his entire life. Funny, since she’s the only thing that he’s ever been certain of.

She gazes at it in wonderment, awe and most of all, love. She tells him it’s beautiful and his heart swells, even though he’s pretty sure that it’s about to break.

He lifts his hand to show her his matching ring. Her kiss is filled with such tenderness, he thinks it’s the gentlest kiss he’s ever felt in his life. He slips the ring onto her finger, heart pointing in, without hesitation. All doubt that such a shining light could ever possibly love a creature as vile as he is washed away in that single touch.

He hears himself tell her he doesn’t want to do this anymore than she does.

“So don’t go.”

For a whole half a second, he can’t think of a single reason why he should, and then sobers just in time to feel the farewell on her insistent lips and taste the salt of her tears. He kisses her back with passion, reverence, and desperation. No time for love in this kiss.

He feels her tongue push into his mouth. Plunder it. Devour it. Possess it. Slide over every inch of his mouth. He returns the favour.

Her body is pressing so close to his that he almost doesn’t remember what he came here for. Her hand is around his neck and she pulls his head down so hard that he thinks if not for his superhuman strength, she’d have snapped it clean off. Still, he doesn’t care.

As if time stands still, the kiss seemingly going on forever, he wonders how long Buffy can go without breathing. He still doesn’t pull away.

Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever needed to know is right here, in this very moment. In this kiss.

It was life. It was death. It was everything in between.

**Fin**

Oh and P.S this is going to x-posted like a hor.