Understanding

There are a lot of things in the world Stevie knows he'll never understand. He'll never understand what Lily finds so amusing about those cartoons on the telly; the ones that don't actually have any purpose or meaning, that exagerrate every word and phrase and have tunes and rhymes that drive him mad. He tried watching one of them with her one time, he remembers the general horror that came over him when he realised he knew the words to most of their theme songs. 
     He'll never understand how Rafa stays so calm all the time. He'll never forget after Istanbul in the bar afterwards Rafa coming up to him to simply discuss his positioning. He'll never understand some of his teamates; actually he'll never understand most of his teamates. The thought of wearing Cisse's clothes when he'd still been here had given him nightmares and his hairstyles.......well Stevie just doesn't like thinking about those. He sometimes wonders about Luis 'cause really, his hair is just too gay; though Stevie admits to himself in those quiet, fleeting moments (though never aloud) that he is kind of jealous of Luis' hair.
    There are sometimes he thinks he doesn't understand Alex. Its not very often just those times she comes out with stuff like "calm down Steve footballs only a game." Those are the moments when he wonders what really goes on in a womens' minds. 
     On those  mornings when he wakes up in Xabi's bed, a hand warm on his hip, a soft humid breath at his neck, he'd roll over gently and just watch him. Listen to him breathing and snoring softly in his slumber. Sometimes he would wonder; wonder exactly what beautiful force brought him face to face with this person beside him. Wonder what force every thought him deserving of this. Stevie doesn't think he'll ever understand what Xabi sees in him, why Xabi loves him. But if it stays like this forever; then he hopes he never understands.