Miserable & Stunning

pimping out my Sims LJ, once again

2012-01-26T02:26:09Z

[fanfic] Winning

2011-12-06T04:09:07Z

title: Winning
series: Harvest Moon Animal Parade
genre: Humor
rating: T+ for f-bombs
word count: 1,040
summary: Toby, the beloved Animal Parade fisherman is losing his company- and his sanity

Read it on fanfiction.net

Cameras flashed in Toby's face, blinding him every so often. He tried hard to keep his cool and face his adversary despite the clusterfuck of lights caused by the cameraman. Damn you, Simon.

"Toby, is it true that Haromica Fishery is being tried by Town Hall for illegal whale hunting and that your business is being sued for millions of gold?"

Toby looked right into the camera. "Look," he started coolly, lacing his fingers together and resting his chin atop them," I’m winning. My family has spent close to the last decade providing this shitty town with the wettest, freshest fish on this side of Castanet. I’m a pole and bobber shaped BAMF, man. The fish I conquer make Pascal look like a disfigured lobster orgy. Paolo tried to get in on my style, was like, “Dude, can’t handle it.” Before the fishing pole I was grabbing bass with my bare hands, because that’s how I roll. I have one passion, I have one desire: the sea. I have barracuda blood flowing through my veins. I’m tired of pretending that I’m not the Harvest God. They say that it’s not easy being Asian, but then again no one's ever seen me have sex."

"Alright then. Some say that your... odd and illogical behavior can only be explained by drugs. Is this true?"

"I am on a drug, it’s called green FREAKIN' tea. I’m not a man, I’m a mother fucking AROWANA." He stood up suddenly. " I’ve beaten these Magikarps with my words. Imagine if I’d used my level 5 fishing rod."

"Okay then. Thank you for your wonderful insight, Toby, I think we've heard all that we need to hear about that. What about those rumors of you and the Wizard, though? Can you clarify those?"

"I'm not gay, I'm bi-winning!"

***

Toby's state of mind was deteriorating. Ever since Hamilton filed a lawsuit against him about his defiance of whale hunting policies, Toby was slowing drifting further and further from sanity. Just the other day, he called a town meeting only to rant and rave about how fishermen DO have a soul!1!11

Needless to say, nobody knew what he was talking about.

Ever since then he'd been spending his days alone mostly. He talked to no one but his fish. Some nights he would crawl into the bathtub after filling it up with water and he'd sleep there, just like that. "I'm going to transform," he'd say to himself.

No one was quite sure what he intended to transform into, exactly.

But though he lead a sad existence, he seemed perfectly content. Although his family's business was being shattered, he got a simple joy in just sitting at the edge of the dock and staring into the ocean. That is, when the sunlight wasn't beaming off the waves, because if he looked into the reflection it would burn like a bitch.

***

"What's up, Toby?" Hikari asked as she carefully took a seat next him on the dock.

Toby only stared out into the ocean.

"I, uh, heard about everything that was happening with you. I just want you to know that I'm still your friend, okay?"

Nothing.

"I heard your interview... they all said you sounded crazy, but I don't think it was insanity. I think you're just stressed out, that's all."

Silence.

"I'll always care about you. No matter what everyone else says. Because, Toby, I love you. I love you and I want to be with you, and I'm going to prove it to you--"

"Hikari."

Finally the girl turned to Toby, expecting either heart lifting acceptance or soul crushing rejection. "Yes?"

Toby didn't move, didn't even blink. His eyes were fixed up ahead on the ocean. "Ever seen a shark's eyes?"

"I beg your-- excuse m-- what?"

"Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces."

"Toby I don't think that's appropriate for a rated E game."

"Anyway, we delivered the bomb."

"Forget what I said about sticking to you no matter what." Hikari stood up. "You're insane."

"Hikari," Toby said again.

She huffed, "What?"

"I'm going to transform."

Quickly and suddenly he pushed himself off the dock, and with a splash his body surged underwater.

"Toby!"

He didn't resurface for the longest time, leaving Hikari to call out his name dramatically and panic while a somber tune began to play. "Toby is gone. Toby is actually gone!"

"I'm right here, asshole," Came the Asian voice of Castanet's beloved fisherman. In the water was Toby, body bobbing gently as he waded.

"Toby!"

"But I have to go away now, Hikari."

"What? To where?"

"To somewhere I belong. Tell my uncle and Paolo that I love them, and tell Simon to go fuck himself." With that, the rejuvenated fisherman waved to the female protagonist and dove beneath the ocean waves.

We could have had it aaallllllll
Rollin' in the deeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Okay!" Hikari cried. "Someone turn this freakin' music off!"

***

Toby didn't know what had happened, only that he'd just woken up in an unknown place.

For months he'd been rolling in the deep, testing out the new skills he'd acquired when he finally transformed into a mermaid. However, this was not the seabed he was used to, nor were there any friendly coral reefs.

It was moist and dark and barren, so it could have been Renee's va--

"Hi there."

An odd called out to him, causing him to bolt upright and look around.

Oh.

What.

What was this thing.

What kind of demented creature was Toby looking at?!

"I'm Old Kappa. Nice of you to stop by. It's been lonely 'round here ever since my nice doctor friend ran away. Would you like to have some fun with me? I gots lots of cucumbers."

"Sweet mother of God."

I will be primarily focusing on my Sims journal

2011-10-11T01:24:59Z

studio39@lj.com

Sim 2 Asylum [Part 1]

2011-02-28T21:22:20Z

CAST: China, America, Russia, Korea, France, Prussia, Germany, Japan.

So, I'll be controlling China. His ltw is become a Rock God so it shouldn't be too hard. Alright, so things start off okay...

They're all watching TV and talking while China reads a cookbook in hopes that he'll get enough experience to not burn the house down.

I make China use the bathroom before things start to get messy.

Everyone is getting along nicely.

Right, so China begins painting since I know his music career will require lots of creativity.

In a matter of minutes, my fears come true. Say hello to the bathroom crowd. A bunch of dudes all trying to take a piss at the same time. And none of them want to piss in front of other people.

America tring to kick Japan out of the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Germany is chill.

Food.

Food.

Food.

Burnt food.

IT'S LIKE ALL THEY DO IS EAT.

Oh, yeah. Germany now smells like shit. Russia too. Japan too. And Russia.

That won't help you much, Russia....

But this might!

America puts the moves on shit!Germany. Why? I have no idea. Germany obviously will have none of it.

So, I make China go for Korea. I don't ship them, but I figure since they're both Romance Sims, I can kill two Aspiration meter birds with one stone.

Whisper sweet nothings to him, China~

\

I bet you Asiacest fans like this.

But then I decide I like America/China more so...

China tries to sweet talk him. It doesn't work, but it successfully pissed Korea off.

Commence the slap+cry fest.

No, America! You're fighting the WRONG Korea!

Korea wins. Amazingly.

Meanwhile, Japan is content with life.

Speaking of Japan, he and Korea have a pillow fight.

Then people start to sleep, and this is where some trouble stirs. I have a double bed but America INSISTS on sleeping in his underwear, preventing someone from sharing a bed with him. Asshole. Finally, South Korea joins him in bed. (WHY?) They sleep for what feels like FOREVER.

Prussia and Japan are about to pass out from sleep deprivation.

Give China some privacy, asshole.

Another fight. America wins.

It's sad to think Korea and America were friends not too long ago...

The only three not asleep. Poor fellows.

Coffee, anyone?

FINALLY. There is hope!!

Japan finally can sleep but keeps waking up because he has to piss so badly. Ends up wetting himself. Aww.

And I'll wrap this up with Prussia facepalming! Hope you enjoyed this ;)

SIMS 2 DOWNLOAD [Allied Forces]

2011-02-19T02:22:41Z

Hi there! I bring you part one Bad's version of the Axis Powers Hetalia Sims: The Allied Forces + Canada!

Please keep in mind that the facial structure is very simple (as these ARE anime characters) but I did try to give them distinct features, like a big nose for Russia and big eyebrows for England (though if you don't like it, you can change it back to the defaults with just a click!). I leave the rest of the sculpting up to you, if you so desire.

I've also put these guys in MODERN clothes, not their anime clothes. If you want them in their uniforms, Zero has what you're looking for. All meshes are included.

Without further ado...

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: Raonjena
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust
Skin: Emphemera
Glasses: HysteriaParoxysm
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: ilikemusic640 @ TSR

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: Aikea Guinea
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust
Skin: teru_k
Makeup: Teru_k, Helaene
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: Garden of Shadows, I think

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: Newsea
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust
Skin: teru_k
Beard: Dlsimsf6
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: A+S=Error

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: MYOS
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust
Skin: teru_k
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: Garden of Shadows (again, I think)

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: Raonjena
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust, teru_k (makeup)
Skin: teru_k
Scarf: Sizz @ MTS, recolor by zero_rechter
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: Minanna @ MTS

>> DOWNLOAD <<
Hair: Raonjena
Lips: Aug
Eyes: Yumedust
Skin: teru_k
Glasses: HysteriaParoxysm
Eyebrows: Rensims
Clothes: Sizz

INSTRUCTIONS //

1. Download the file
2. View its folder location and double click it
3. Either the default Sims 2 installer OR Clean Installer will prompt you to install the content
4. Once installed, you're done!
5. Enjoy

If you have any questions or run into any issues, please leave a comment! Also, if I have miscredited any of the designers, please let me know as well. I didn't make any of this content-- I'm no creator, I'm just here for your convenience.

World Parade: Hetalia Webzine

2011-01-08T07:05:56Z

Sure, you could browse Pixiv for your OTP or get your daily fangirling lulz through tumblr and conclude by the end of the day that you really got to enjoy your fandom, but why stop at that when you could connect with Hetalia in a way you never have before? Every wonder what kind of love advice America would give? In the mood for some funny and creative articles about your favorite characters? Every wanted to ask Russia anything? How about keeping up with your current events through Hetalia-fied lens? Do you love absorbing little historical tidbits or playing brain teasers? There’s a free, online magazine that includes all of these things right here with your username on it. All these pages are colorfully and skillfully designed so you’ll never have to suffer a dull moment.

Made for fans by fans, World Parade is your connection to your Hetalia and all of its amazing quirks and characters – so my only question is, why not?

( And the World Parade LJ is riiight this way~ )

Kawaii Frackin' Desu Ka

2010-09-22T00:51:21Z

Title: Kawaii Frackin' Desu Ka
Characters: Allies, Japan and a random weeabo
Pairings: implied Russia/America
Genre: Crack
Warnings: Making fun of goths/emos/weeabos, China/Japan bickering, profanity, sexual themes and naked Canada
Summery: Canada goes goth, Russia gets a hard on for watching America eat, Japan and China get into a fight, Canada goes emo, France buys some panties, Japan gets harassed by a weeabo, China runs from some security gaurds, America is a real thug and something dramatic happens to England. Oh my!

Canada shuffled through clothes on the rack.

Someone near him was vomiting rather loudly.

Wait, no. That wasn’t vomiting, that was the screamo music that was blaring through the store speakers.

Canada had made his mind up. He was going to do whatever it took to get people to notice him. That's why he decided to stop at Hot Topic, the place where emu kids and hardkore gawfs could go to fulfill their daily dose of angst and Hello Kitty (not to mentioned Invader Zim). Dressing up like a Goth was the perfect way to make a statement and--what were kids calling it these days? 'Expression of character?'

Right. Well, whatever it took. Canada was near the brink of desperation. Actually, he had already passed desperate.

He pulled off a big, black, baggy Slipknot t-shirt from the rack, along with a pair of ridiculously long jeans with ridiculous wide pant legs. But hey, it came with useless chains. Chain were totally cool right?

Canada figured that if he dressed like a freak, he might actually get noticed. So, he scuttled into the changing room, Kumajirou tagging along right behind him.

--------------------------------------------------

China wasn't enjoying his stroll around the mall, especially when kiosk salespersons tried to get him to buy their innovative nail polish, curling irons, hair removal wax and perfume, all the while calling him a 'pretty lady' and complimenting his hair.

He spotted a store up ahead called 'Chinatown' and breathed a sign of relief. Finally, some familiatirty in a mall full of over-rated American clothing stores!

He strutted over to the store, and as he got closer, he could hear a familiar voice. The voice was angry and even sounded offended. He stood outside the shop, wondering if it was safe to go in since perhaps the manager was having a conflict with an angry customer and a gun might suddenly be drawn.

Actually, he was really just being an eavesdropping dick.

"This is very big misrepresentation!" An angry voice. "You are making everything think anime is a Chinese product. THAT IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. You must give proper credit where it is due, and China deserve NO such thing for MY anime!"

So, it was Japan, and he was talking shit, no less!

China stormed into the Chinatown store only to find it filled with anime DVDs and action figures!! Sure, it had all been made in China but that didn't make it any better.

"AIYAH! What is this?!" China raged, walking up to the check out counter where Japan and a bamboozled cashier had turned to greet him with their eyes.

When he saw China, Japan's already intense glare burned with the heat of one thousand rising suns, it seemed. The cashier become even more frantic despite how a fellow Chinese man had just entered the store (though, most people would cower in fear if they saw China swishing his hips furiously while storming into a 'Chinatown' that only sold Japanese goods).

"That is exactly what I'm asking!" Japan added to the yelling. "Thousands of weeaboos flock to this location just to buy their anime DVD! That is money pouring into Chinese companies when it should be going to Japanese companies. Not to mention that ignorant people will now assume that my glorious anime is actually a Chinese product!"

China seethed with enough fury to match Japan's. "I WISH they would make all of this junk disappear, aru! They are misrepresenting my country! Where are all the dragon figurines? The Buddha dolls? The erotic paintings? Now people who are disgusted with anime will think it was MY fault, aru!"

Japan let out a small gasp. "Who would consider my beautiful artistic expression of cartooning to be disgusting?!"

"I do!"

Silence.

Japan narrowed his eyes immensely. China held his breath, waiting for Japan to lash out with insults or drop to the ground to have a seizure. Instead, he got a deathly quiet and deathly serious reply, "You just crossed the line."

Japan swiftly grabbed one of the 'authentic' katanas hanging on the wall. China blinked during a few seconds of confusion but quickly shifted his body in some strange Kung Fu position.

Japan slide the sword from its sheath and began to expertly twirl and twist it with swift motions of his hand. All China could see was a blaze of blurry silver and all he could hear was violent whooshing sounds. To end the act, Japan threw the sword up into the air. It seemed to be falling in slow motion. Both China and the cashier watched the magnificent weapon fall. Japan, however, was looking straight ahead.

Faster than anyone's eyes could see, Japan extended his hand and caught the sword perfectly, clamping his fists shut as soon as the hilt made contact with his flesh.

A smirk curled on his lips; he was most defiantly showing China up.

Perplexed, it took China a few seconds to recover. However, he was not prepared to be outdone by the man he raised (not again, anyway). He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, exhaled slowly and then began his routine. He started moving his hands in strange positions and motions so quickly that he could put Naruto to shame. He bent and stretched in ways that was not humanly possible for a man of his age. He bounced from wall to wall; he did a handstand using only his two index fingers. He break danced on top of the checkout counter. Then he kicked off the counter, flew up into the air, did multiple front flips while in flight, and landed in a perfect display of The Splits right in front of Japan.

Panting, he looked up at Japan with prideful eyes.

Japan stared back at him with something resembling a sneer--an astonished sneer, but a sneer. He opened his mouth,
"I should have known that you don’t have balls."

--------------------------------------------------

Russia stared at America dreamy eyes and a goofy smile on his face. He looked very much like a school girl who had just realized how to masturbate and was now ogling the cutest guy in school.

America was very such interested in the heaping pile of Big Macs on his tray. He opened the box and sighed happily at the beefy slab of juicy, lukewarm meat before him.

He grabbed the burger and took a giant bite into it, moaning at the delicious sensation that was raping his taste buds.

"Slower," the Russian breathed out.

"Hmmprhmfrrh?" American questioned through his munching.

"Eat slower," Russia advised, still staring at American with tantalized eyes.

America swallowed and Russia a, "'kay." He slowly brought the burger towards his mouth and gently shoved it in his opening, ketchup and mayonnaise dripping off the back of the burger.

Russia licked his lips and felt a pressure arise in his crotch.

In the middle of chewing, America grabbed four or five fries and dunked them into a massive glop of ketchup on his tray. He swallowed and drew the fries up, gently licking the ketchup off the golden and crispy potato slices, then sliding the bundle of fries into his watering mouth.

Russia released a small moan and his breath hitched.

These moments of watching America eat were so divine.

--------------------------------------------------

Canada walked out of Hot Topic in the most horribly fantastic Goth garb ever. He has successful slapped on a baggy Slipknot t-shirt, spiky wristbands, a leather chocker, bondage pants (complete with four chains and six pockets) and an Elmo sweatband.

He was ready to prove himself to the world and finally achieve the recognition he so rightfully deserved. He strut his stuff all the way over the escalator and confidently stepped aboard. As he escalated, he plotted. Figuring that the food court would be the best place to express one's existence to the world, he decided he would stand up on a table and loudly proclaim his identity.

He had sailed to the top and he could smell the aroma of cheeseburgers and tacos but more importantly teriyaki chicken. 'Ahh~ how diverse and cultural!' He thought to himself.

Then he suddenly felt a pressure yanking at his leg and before he knew it, his face hit the ground. He let out a startled cry but the pressure was still on him, as if a hand was holding onto his ankle and not allowing him to move his leg.

His pant leg had gotten caught in the elevator.

He squirmed around on his back, tugging and pulling and trying to break free before the machine tore his pants off completely. All the while, nobody stopped to help him. In fact, everybody simply stepped over him.

Finally, his cargo pants were released with a giant ripping sound. Quickly recovering, Canada marched over to a table just outside the Barbequed Beavers shop. He slammed on foot (clad in thick combat boots) onto the table top and stepped right up on it. He looked around the court. Ah...this was the moment of destiny.

He cleared his throat and shouted, "Hello everyone! I would like to let everyone know I am Matthew Williams, and I. AM. CANADIA."

He expected people to stop talking. He expected the whole room to look right at him. But no. He only received a few glances and the room was still a buzz with mindless chit chat.

"YOU'RE A RETARD," he heard America shout at him from somewhere in the court.

Canada's head dropped. He stared at the ground. A defeated sigh.

Well...back to Hot Topic.

--------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away....

Lithuania sat at the edge of Poland's bed. It was such a plush, delicious bed. The blankets were pink, the company curtain was pink, the pillows were pink, the sheets were pink, the condoms were glow-in-the dark...

Just apply that palette to a bedroom and you get: Poland's master suit!

Lithuania was anxious to see Poland's new 'play' outfit. To be honest, Lithuania had usually had quite a vanilla relationship with Poland. Occasionally the Pole would do strange and freakish things, but that was occasionally and it was nothing compared to what he was doing with Latvia some nights.

"Okay, like, I'm so totally ready," Poland called from the walk-in closet.

"Alright, I'm ready too!" Lithuania looked towards the closet with anticipation.

The door opened and Poland walked out in the most gloriously queer corset imaginable. Tight, pink leather, pristine white laces, knee-high pink high-heeled boots and a small thong made of fabric that was much too see-through.

"Like, bend the fuck over, betch."

Lithuania's jaw dropped. "P-Poland..."

"Bend over. I, like, totally wanna see dat ass up in the air. Wavin' it around like you just don't care~"

Lithuania bit his lower lip.

"Can you dig it or can you lick it?"

"Why are you sounding like a cheer leader...?"

"What? AS IF! Liet hun, like, would you srsly compare me to those skimpy hoes? Like...what?"

Lithuania honestly didn't know what to say, so he went with the obligatory compliment. "Your outfit is very cute!"

"I know right! Okay you still have to bend over. 'Cause baby, this is, like, P to the mother fuckin 'oland, betches. Knocking hoes up since, like, 1569! Totally rockin' the bed AND the world 8 days a week! WHAT-EVER~"

Something about Poland acting like the result of a threesome between Chris Crocker, Jeffree Star and Kelly was so arousing to Lithuania, that he swiftly stood and dropped his pants to the floor. "Take me, Poland. Take me."

"Betch, I thought you'd never ask."

--------------------------------------------------

The two Asian brothers hadn't really accomplished anything with their displays of skill. Their glares were both locked onto each other and the room was dead silent

The cashier's eyes drifted between the two, looking from Japan to China then back to Japan and finally to China. He could sense great sexual frustration between the two. Japan hadn't gotten a good lay ever since his penis had suddenly developed a purple hue and the closest thing China got to a stick up the butt was a prostate exam.

The two Asians, who obviously filled with HIGH amounts of MANLINESS and TESTERONE, were obviously angry and in need, but neither of them were willing to get naked.

"Oh, who are we kidding?" Japan sighed. He kicked off his high heels and slapped China.

"Bitch!" China gasped, yanked out of his earrings and slapped Japan back.

A much undignified catfight broke out between the two, completely with more slapping, some hissing and other strange and horribly insidious fighting techniques that girls used on each other. Somewhere, their ancestors frowned upon them.

After a while, China finally got the upper hand and began slamming Japan's head into the check out counter, nearly breaking the glass with the force of his shoving. Then Japan managed to throw China off. He quickly lunged forward and bit into China's wrist. The old man with the surprisingly delicious booty and curvy hips let out a cry of pain and staggered backwards. He tried to break free from Japan's jaws but the man was like a rabid alligator.

"Stop it!"

Both China and Japan looked over at the extremely scared looking cashier. The man began to talk again in a nervous voice, "Even though this store is called Chinatown...and even though we sell Japanese goods....we're actually a company owned by Korea."

--------------------------------------------------

England wasn't really a mall type of chap. Malls were typically filled with losers who didn't have any better place to hang out, which--in England's opinion--was exactly why such a place was perfect for America. Why he was even here was beyond him. He'd actually been dragged to the mall by the rest of the Allies. And now look where he was! Walking alone aimlessly because France had just left him to venture in Victoria's Secret.

"What a wanker!" The Brit grumbled audibly and folded his arms.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Gesturing up to him was a young lady standing near the kiosk. He was a bit panicked because he assumed she was offended by his language, rather than a frown or any indication of anger, she was smiling. "Can I speak with you for just a few minutes?"

Oh god. These predicaments were so hard. On one hand, if you refused, you ended up looking like an asshole. On the other hand, if you agreed, you got talked into buying a product you didn't actually need. On a third hand, if you agreed but then tried to refuse to buy the product, you still ended up looking like an asshole.

"Sure. Why not?" England said almost flatly, but surprisingly his apathy didn't offend the women.

Still smiling, she led him over to a chair. "Please take a seat," she coaxed.

Although he wasn't exactly sure of what product she was selling (because the name on the bottle was very vague and undescriptive), he took a seat anyway. From what he could gather, it looked like a lotion of some sorts. Well, England could think of multiple uses for that, so perhaps he'd snag a bottle after all.

The lady clasped her hands together. "I noticed that your eyebrows could use some work! If you don’t mind, I'd like to show you how our patented hair removing wax formula will painlessly shed away all that unwanted brow fuzz!" She grabbed the bottle and squeezed a small bit onto a cloth, then proceeded to apply it to the thick caterpillars that England called eyebrows.

"...Blast all."

--------------------------------------------------

Canada stepped out of the dressing room once more. This time he was dressed in skinny jeans so tight that they were crushing his nuts. But that was okay, because they were purple and black checker board print, which made it TOTALLY worth sore gentilia. His shirt was a supaa kawaii Invader Zim tee that was tight enough to show off his figure. He kept the spiky wristband because it was 'oh so cool' and purchased additional bands, all in cute colors like purple and pink and black. He was rockin' a pair of purple converse and to top it all off, he had gauges and a rainbow belt.

As he walked towards the gaping black hole of an entrance, he noticed some classy, thick rimmed glasses. He couldn't resist. He threw off his boring and so-totally-not-hardcore glasses and grabbed the emo lenses.

Now...now he was complete.

Swinging his shoulders as he walked, he stepped back onto the escalator. This time, he didn't have to worry about his pants getting caught. But he did have to worry about the sudden American who 'accidentally' shoved him while running away from a certain Russian by running down the wrong escalator, causing him to fall on his back for a second time that day.

"Where are you going America~? I just want to play~" Russia said in a smiley voice as he followed America down the up escalator, stepping on the Canadian and not caring.

"Ahaha! You horny bastard!" America laughed and shouted as he continued to run around. "Come on! Let's find a photo booth somewhere and have sex!"

And Russia happily chased after him, both of them in hot pursuit of finding a photo booth.

At the top of the escalator, Canada lay on stomach with his ass sticking up in the air. A couple passed by. He looked up at them and with a quiet, weak voice and a smile, declared, "I-I'm Canada...!"

They didn't even glance at him.

He hung his head, causing it to smash into the ground. "Ow..." Alright...he was going to try ONE more time.

--------------------------------------------------

Japan and China had since disbanded from the shop. Both of them felt utterly defeated and outdone. Now Japan was sitting on a bench, emoing and China was headed for Sanrio.

Japan let out a sigh. South Korea...he should have known. That little 'bundle of joy' was like the Asian version of Italy. Actually, if America and Italy and China had a threesome and produced a child, Korea would most likely be that child.

"KAWAII!!!!"

Japan jumped as he was started by the sudden and annoying shout close by. He quickly scanned the mall for the source and--oh my god...his poor eyes landed on a very disturbing character.

She was dressed in stripped, rainbow, knee-high socks. She had unhappily, pale legs and was wearing a short skirt that made it so much worse. Her arms were laced with rainbow arm warmers (to match her socks) and she had various anime wrist bands. She wore a tight fitting Herro Kitty t-shirt to show off her large jugs. On her neck was a dog collar with some Kanji scribbled on the tag. Her hair was about fifty different colors and looked very much like a rainbow shit all over her head. She had horribly fake cat ears protruding from her mess of hair. The fact that her eye liner was poorly done was the LEAST of Japan's worries.

He had never seen something so horrendous in his entire life.

"Konnicha wa!!" She shouted again, this time louder because Japan hadn't responded to her earlier since he was frozen with terror from the mere sight of her.

She reached into her skirt (yes, her skirt. She didn't have any pockets) and pulled out a handful of Pocky. She stretched her hand out to Japan. "Want some Pocky?"

Japan cringed at the horrible pronunciation of the word (it's definitely 'poh-kee', not 'paw-kee'). He felt very disappoint. His Japanese people were so good at being American. So why were American horrible at being Japanese?! It didn’t make any sense!"Ah...no thank you..." Japan tried to sound as polite as possibly but that was hard to when you were holding back vomit.

"Aww, hai!" Instead of shoving the Pocky into her mouth like she normally good, she licked it up slowly, as if she was trying to seduce the poor victim sitting on the bench.

Japan felt deathly ashamed, and he was positive that if America saw this, he'd feel quite the same.

Irritated by his quietness. The smiling Weeabo stared into his vacant eyes. "You're soooo bishie."

Japan chocked on the air. "That's not exactly true...I'm actually rather plain and lacking of a personality. And I'm actually a very old man with serious hip problems due to the wild crazy sex I had as a young adult."

The...thing laughed. "Suggoi desu ne! Kawaiii~" She leaned forward, tilting her rainbow shit hair towards him. "Feel my neko ears! They're totemo soft!"

Japan blinked. "I don’t think...I mean...it seems like a health hazard..."

"Kawaii desu! Feel my neko ears, onegaaaaaiii!"

Something about this creature made Japan want to stab her with his katana. To be more exact, something about this creature made Japan want to beat her to death with a slab of raw fish. Salted, of course.

Hesitantly, Japan slowly drew his hand up and lightly tapped the fake cat ears with his finger. The creature purred, causing Japan to let out a gasp and quickly yanks his hand back, very much startled by the sudden sounds of animalistic arousal that were being elicited by this human being.

"Oh, I have the perfect idea! Let's talk in Japanese!" The Weeabo cheered rather excitedly.

Japan figured that maybe if he was boring enough, the crazy girl would leave him alone. "Alright..."

"You start!"

"Ogenki desu ka?" He began with a simple 'how are you', excepting the other to be completely ignorant and not understand anything but the 'desu.' Perhaps the 'ka'.

Much to his surprise, the girl's grin widened and she said, "Genki desu!"

Japan was literally shocked when she respond correctly. Perhaps this person wasn't just a Weeabo fury. Perhaps she was actually sincere in her interests in his language and culture. So, Japan decided to kick it up a notch.

"Naze Nihon wa suki desu ka?" Asking her why she liked Japan would be the first step to determining if she was truly a Weeabo.

But instead of getting an answer, all Japan got in return was a stupid looking blank stare accompanied by several blinks. "...Oh!" The creature suddenly said, as if the realization that she failed in all aspects of life just hit her. "See, I dont really know toooo much Japanese. I'm going to Japan though. It'll be suggoi!"

"H-how do you think you can manage in Japan if you know less Japanese than a first grader!" Japan said in a rather concerned and hopeless tone of voice.

"I know how to write 'love' in Kanji! Oh, and I learn from watching anime. I know how to say baka, inu, neko, all different kinds of greetings, kawaii, suggoi, kakkoi. Baka means stupid. So if I say 'you're so baka!' that means that you're stupid. Oh, but dont worry. YOU'RE not stupid because you're a Nihon bishie. Inu means dog, neko means cat. Like my cat ears--nyaa!" Great, she had managed to learn Japanese animal sounds. "Kawaii means cute, suggoi means super cool and kakkoi means awesome!! Nihon is kakkoi!"

At some point, Japan wanted to run away. He wanted to run as far away as possible and lock himself in his room and never come out for another three hundred years. He knew what those words meant; he didn't need a random girl with a hard on for Jrock to explain his words to him. By now, Japan had fully given up on the girl.

He cleared his throat. "The Kanji on your collar says 'cunt'. You know that, right?"

--------------------------------------------------

"Mommy, Mommy!' A little girl was close to having a giggle fit inside Sanrio.

"What on earth could be so funny?" The mother asked with a small smile.

"That's a crazy woman over there, Mommy~ she gathered together a biiiig pile of stuffed dolls and she's rolling around in them just like I do at home! She's making funny noises, too. She keeps hugging them. I didn't know that big people liked Hello Kitty so much!"

The woman turned to look at the spectacle her daughter was describing. Sure enough, China was lying on a heap of plushies, holding one close to his chest. His facial expression of that of a stoner getting a dick massage.

"Kitty-chan, aru..."

--------------------------------------------------

France set the pile of under garments on the counter and the cashier gave him an intrigued look.

"So," she started in a somewhat flirtatious tone as she batted her eyelashes at him. "You've got a girlfriend?"

France smiled. "These are for my many lovers."

"How many people do you manage to get in bed per night?"

"Individually or in an orgy?"

"Both."

"Well, that depends~"

"Depends? Depends on what?" She was staring right into his eyes. Her entire facial expression was overcome with desire. She didn't even look as she slid the panties into the shopping bag. Then she handed it to him.

"On the mood." France reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of polka dotted bikini briefs and handed them to the cashier.

She bit her bottom lip and whispered a 'thank you', then winked.

"Non, it was my pleasure~" He beamed before he trotted off.

The rest of the panties would be given to the other Allies as presents, and because let's face it, Russia probably had a deep desire decorate his crotch with lacy fabric anyway.

Oh, and France was also saving a pair for the gay guy working at PacSun.

--------------------------------------------------

"Oh hell yeah! Wonka machine!" America cheered as he waddled (had to because his ass was still sore) over to the candy dispensing machine.

"What is this?" Russia asked as he approached.

"Oh snap oh snap oh snap!" America began shoving dollar bills into the machine. "You put like, nine dollars in here and it'll let you pick up to three different Wonka candies to mix into a super freakin' amazing cup of tooth decay goodness!"

"How sadistic!" Russia commented with a small smile.

America began rapidly pressing buttons on the touch screen. "Okay, uh...let's see...I'mma get sour Shockers...hey, you want anything?"

"Hm? Oh, you know I'll just end up stealing some of the candy from you anyway, so it doesn’t matter~"

"Ahaha! Hmm...I can't decide...Do I Runts and Gobstoppers? Chewy or hard? I dunno...chewy is great but you can't hardness isn't easy to beat."

"Actually it is easy to beat! America proved that just a few moments ago."

"Yeah, I think Imma just go for chewy---WHAT THE FUCK. Dude! It ate my dollar!!"

"Oh no!"

"Holy shit!!"

"Disaster!"

"What the fuck!!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol...."

America then shook the machine. "Hey! Give back my money you whore!"

"America realizes he is being very stupid right now, da? Talking to a machine...Silly, silly."

"Fuck this." He turned away from the machine and noticed the Lids behind him. "Hey, Russia, how gangster do you think I would look if I bought a Yankee's cap, sagged my pants, grabbed a sweatshirt from Old Navy and bought some new Kicks?"

"Very gangster. How gangster do you think I would look if I wear Halloween mask all around mall?"

"Very gangster."

And so it was decided.

--------------------------------------------------

After getting decked out in total baller thug homie gangsta ghetto attire, America was in the mood to hop into his Hummer, crank up 'dem beatz' and ride around town with the windows down. So perfectly obnoxious that is was EXACTLY his style.

He began calling up the rest of Allies and telling them to meet at the carousel near the front entrance.

Of course, America just HAD to pay a few bucks to jump on a horse that was much too small and ride the merry-go-round just once. Or twice. Or three times.

"Grrr! I am...the Great Kingdom of Britain!" America mimicked as he stood atop a might, plastic stead. "Fear me and my giant eyebrows! Fear the enormous stick that is forever lodged up my 'arse!' I shall bully you around for the rest of your days! YOU WILL NEVER FIND TRUE LOVE."

Russia was just happily twirling around in a carriage until he wanted to puke.

France was the first to arrive. Nobody really questioned the contents of his Victoria's Secret's bag because this thing was a common occurrence. China came running towards them, immediately jumping into the carriage with Russia to hide. Apparently, security guards didn't like it when grown men developed the behavioural patterns of little girls while inside a store filled with kids and emos.

"Why is Russia wearing a scary mask...?" France asked.

"Because he's a G. Okay, so I think we're missing England and some other bitch whose name escapes me," America replied.

Speaking of...

"Hey! Everyone!"

Startled by the noise, the Allies turned to look at the staircase. Their jaws dropped. At the top of the stairs was Canada. He was completely and utterly naked.

Everyone simply stared at him in shock and terror and anticipation and maybe even pleasure.

"Aha!" The Canadian gave a small laugh. "You notice me know! You notice--"

"Hey!" America suddenly shouted over Canada, "There's England---AND HOLY SHIT STICKS, HIS EYEBROWS ARE GONE."

Everyone let out a dramatic gasp and quickly turned to stare at the browless Brit walking towards them with a deep crimson blush on his face.

Everyone ran over to him, bombarding him with mindless yelling and many questions.

"But...but..." Canada fell to his knees.

"Dude!! How did it happen!!"

"Mon cheri, your sex appeal has just risen considerably!"

"Do you want me to kolkolkol someone for you~?"

"AIYAH! So shocking!"

Canada let out a whimper. "Eh...? I got naked...you looked at me....w-why....WHYYYYYY!"

--------------------------------------------------

The Weeabo creature shoved Japan onto the DDR mat in the arcade room and slipped two quarters into the machine.

"I-I really can't do this...I've dont exactly play this much, and as I've said, I'm old--"

"It's starting!" The thing squealed as she hopped onto her own DDR mat.

A very fast paced song began to play. The Weeabo was trying to hard to keep up with the flashing, seizure inducing arrows and moving background.

That's when Japan started moving his body and swishing his hips and shaking dat ass and kicking his legs with such expertise that it literally blow the Weeabo's mind to the point where she stopped moving completely and stared--mesmerized--by Japan's body and skill.

-------------------

After he had completely and utterly destroyed any bit of self-confidence she had left, the Weeabo decided to buy him lunch.

"Thank you," he told her as they both took a seat.

Japan had ordered McDonalds. It was a Japanese favourite, naturally. The Weeabo ordered sushi. Surprised? Neither was Japan.

"I used to dislike sushi," she started as she dipped a piece of sushi into soy sauce with sloppily held chopsticks. "I was so baka back then! Then when I wanted to be super kawaii suggoi smart desu, I started forcing myself to eat the oishii sushi until I finally liked it! Yaaay me! Now all I eat is Asian food. Pocky and sushi and rice candies, because those are the only Japanese foods that exist, right? Hey, do you wanna come over my house after this? I have sooo many anime DVDs and the cutest Higurashi cosplay outfits. I also have plushies of Naruto and Bleach. What's it like being Japanese? You must feel soooo good to be GREATEST race EVER. You know, I'm saving up money so I can get plastic surgery so I can look exactly like a Japan person--"

WHAM.

Next thing the girl knew, a burger was planted in her face.

"...."

Japan merely gave a small smirk of satisfaction. It was no salted salmon, but it still felt great.

Hetalia Webzine Casting [CLOSED]

2010-08-27T04:19:20Z

If you havent already heard about this, or have no idea what it really is, you probably wanna check THIS out. :>

AUDITIONS FOR EVERYTHING BUT PHOTOGRAPHERS IS NOW CLOSED. HOWEVER, if you TOLD me that you were interested in joining as a writer/designer BEFORE I updated this thread on Auguest 30th, you can STILL send in your auditions!

job descriptions ;;
I will not accept you if you don't have an MSN/Windows Live. Before you apply, make sure you have one. This will be our main way of plotting/contacting.

Writers: The main element to this. I can design everything myself if I had to, but I cannot write everything myself. I'm looking for sharp, funny, interesting, knowledgeable writers who are creative and resourceful. For example, you may have to research different countries and their cultures to write certain articles, you'll need to inject humor into your writing, you'll need to be able to help us come up with fresh ideas/topics and do everything in a clean, UNBIASED, polite manner. What does that mean? Unless you are told to, don't show favor with any character/pairing/idea. Don't use profanity in your writing unless the situation calls for it, i.e. you writing in character as Prussia. Write with correct grammar and a mature, yet relaxed and sometimes humorous tone, but be sure to be serious when talking about serious things, especially when related to war. Be able to get into the character of a Hetalian if you are writing any Interview or Advice columns. Be prepared to do what you have to do for your column to get written. (For example, if you're writing about how people from different countries draw their personified nation, make sure you go out to the comm and ask people to give you material. If you're writing about "MLIH" moments, go out to the comm and ask people for those. You MUST credit each and every person you get written/drawn material from).

Designers: Be able to make clean, easy to read, attractive and effective magazine pages and advertisements. This means that if a certain article references a particular picture/character, include that image into your design. (For example, if the article is about America, add a picture of him in there.) Designer will be in charge of typesetting and putting all the pictures/elements onto page. I want someone who knows how to create high quality images. You MUST save all your pages in .png format. Using blurry/overly sharp text is not acceptable, nor is using text so decorative you can barely read it. Be a logical designer, know good placement and know how make a page look fun to read while at the same time, not distracting too much from the text. Keep in mind that magazine pages don't ALL look the same, but they do have running themes, such as what font is used for the written articles, little indicators that explain what type of article this is, be it an Advice, How To, etc, and ALL pages should have the same background color (aside from advertisements), which is WHITE. Having good picture editi Also, remember that every picture used MUST BE CREDITED TO THE ARTIST.

Photographers: Designers CAN get pictures if needed, but why should they have to? Photographers can do a number of things. If you visit conventions a lot, you could take pictures of each one you go to for our Convention Coverage articles. Photographers are needed to gather pictures appropriate for each article and give them to the designers. Remember to find a lot of pictures so the designer and pick and choose, rather than only have two or three pictures so they have to use all of them, even if they don't find them fitting/etc. The pictures for articles can include graphics, fanart and obviously, photography. Also, remember that every picture used MUST BE CREDITED TO THE ARTIST. Which means you'll have to give the designers a document citing who each picture belongs to. Name SPECIFIC artists, not places like Pixiv or Photobucket. This is also hugely important: This means that if a certain article references a particular picture/character, include that image into your design. (For example, if the article writers mentions something about seeing a crazy Russia cosplayer, you might want to ask the writer for a picture of said cosplayer). Please, if you take photos yourself, have a NICE camera! Don't send in pictures you took on your camera phone because those are incredible low quality most of the time. Photographers may not be needed for EVERY single article, but don't feel discouraged.

Proofers: The people who read everything to make sure the spelling/grammar is okay, the pages look good and everything fits. You'll need to be sharp so you can catch typos and you'll need to have an overall feeling of what a magazine looks like so you can pick out things that are out of place, for example, a page that looks too weird to be legit magazine material, or a sentence that's hard to read/understand. Also, it'd be handy if proofers could make sure the Interview With A Character and Advice columns are, well, actually in character.

& guess what! the whole entire community can even help!
That's right. If you aren't interested in signing up for any of these positions, don't worry! I plan to sometimes go to the Hetalia comm and ask people for ideas on new articles, or even ask people to submit stories. Depending on the article, each writer is responsible for his/her own article, and may ask the co`mmunity for help when writing certain things.

so you think you're up to it?
Below are the 'audition' forms of sorts. Don't be scared, I'm a pretty chill person, but I still gotta see if you're qualified! ;>
Please sign up for only ONE category. You may, however, sign up for different levels in each category. It'll make sense later, I promise.
PM all messages to my LJ, awfullybad.

FOR WRITERS ;
Depending on what kind of article you're best at or would like to write, I'll give you some topics and you pick on and write your best article about THREE of the topics. ~~Feels like school, doesn't it?~~ THERE IS NO LIMIT TO HOW LONG/SHORT YOUR ARTICLE IS. Use your head and be smart about the length. Get the point across effectivly but don't be too long or too short to the point of your writing being uninteresting.
At the end of your article, include at least one paragraph about yourself. Let your true nature shine. Dont worry about acting professional or mature, I want to see you for who you really are, because I like working with fun, nice people.

Advice: Write an article from a character's POV, having that character give advice on a topic they are well versed in. For example, Poland giving fashion advice, America giving advice on how to make the best burgers. Please be sure to include real life elements, like referencing real Polish fashion or real American burgers from say, fast food chains.

How To: Write an article explaining, in a step by step manner, how to do something. How to make a certain cosplay, how to make a plush doll or paper doll, how to make a Hetalia pillow case, other various crafts, how to make a graphic, how to do a certain type of fanart, how to bake flag cookies, etc.

Interview: Write an article from a character's POV, having that character answers questions you made. Try to stay in character while being funny and entertaining at the same time.

Coverage: Talk about a in real life Hetalia event/meet up that you went to. Explain it in enough detail so that people know what happened, but don't bore them with needless information.

Tips: Write a sort of 'advice' article highlighting helpful tips; a 'do's and dont's' sort of thing. For example, give tips on what to do when confronting a Hetalia-hater, or tips on things to do/how to act when visiting cons. Be creative~!

Current Events: Explain a current event with a Hetalia twist, or pick an strange event and explain it through a character's POV, expressing how the character reacts to such event. For example, Germany thoughts/reaction toward that case where two German men met online and they decided to engage in cannibalism.

Discussion: Pick a subject relating to Hetalia. Could be about anything. The dub, the anime, the manga, certain fanon/canon ideas, etc. and talk about it.

Debate: Pick a rumor/controversial topic and write two separate essays about it, one supporting the topic and the other refuting it. For example, write an essay supprting the HRE = Germany debate and another essay disagreeing with the theory.

In History: Pick a date/month and then talk about certain historical events that occurred on such date. Make it interesting and easy to digest.

Remember that these are not ALL the topics that will be covered.

FOR DESIGNERS;
Along with your image , include at least one paragraph about yourself. Let your true nature shine. Dont worry about acting professional or mature, I want to see you for who you really are, because I like working with fun, nice people.

Layout: Put together a legit looking magazine page. You page must contain a header, at least one picute, body copy (a term used for the text you put on a page). The body copy can be taken from a random Wiki article, whatever. I just need to see how well you can put together a nice, clean looking magazine page.

Advertisements: Make an advertisement for a real LJ community, a fanart's DA, the Hetalia Dub DVD release, anything. Make sure to include a URL with your advertisement, for explaining, giving a URL out to the LJ page you're advertising, or adding a link to Funimation's website if advertising the dub. You may also choose to make 'fake' advertisements for fake places, like France's Bake Shop, or Poland's Boutique or Hero Burgers and Fries.

FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS;
~~All I want in a photographer is someone who visits lots of cons/meet ups/Hetalia events. 8'3~~
Along with your pictures, include at least one paragraph about yourself. Let your true nature shine. Dont worry about acting professional or mature, I want to see you for who you really are, because I like working with fun, nice people.

Conventions: Send me 6-10 pictures from any anime convention that has been held recently. You could also send me pictures or a Hetalia meet up, since Hetalia Day was on the 24th.

FOR PROOFERS;
I dont really have anything to test you with! So....instead, write at least one paragraph about yourself. Let your true nature shine. Dont worry about acting professional or mature, I want to see you for who you really are, because I like working with fun, nice people.

EDIT: Proofer positions are now closed. Whew...I didn't know so many people would apply! I have picked TWO Proofers but if I ever feel the need to have more, I will quickly reopen auditions. I thank everyone for trying and I want you to realize I appreciate every single person who auditioned.

if you have any questions, please ask.

[crackfic] Stop! You'll Scare the Kids!

2010-05-02T13:14:46Z

Characters: Allied Forces, Canada, Japan, Austria, Lebanon
Pairings: Russia/America, France/Lebanon, UK/China
Rating: PG13
Warnings: tourettes!Dark!Kiku, an Original Character appearance, sexual content, profanity, light violence, MORE OF CHINA'S ASS JOKES
Summery:
Seeing as it was a beatiful day in Spring, the Allied Forces have decided to spend a day at a small community park. While there, they happen to meet a singing Austria, a suicidal Canada and better yet, Japan who seems to have developed tourettes syndrome and will blurt out violent profanities.

It's funny how grown men can act like children when put into the right situation. A small park on a breezy spring day was just that situation.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" America squealed as he ran over to a big, rideable, plastic snail. He hopped on and began bouncing around as if it were a wild bison, one hand in the air and hips thrusting in a sloppy humping motion. "Hell yeah! Brings me back to the 1800's!"

"Hault! Hault before your fat arse breaks it!" An authoritive voice snapped at America who pretty much ignored it. England strolled up to America, who was peacefully enjoying his wild snail ride. "Look at you! You're still going at it! I said stop
the snail!"

America slowly came to a slow and stared at England with an expecting look. "Yeah?"

"First of all, you were speeding," the Brit began his reprimandation as he pulled a notebook from his pocket and started scribbling nonsense down. "You were clocked at seventy kilometer per hour--no! Stop that! Do NOT start up again! Bloody hell...second of all, I have reasons to believe you are riding a stolen vehicle."

"Stolen vehicle!" America scoffed. "Which sorry ass liar told you that!"

As England scribbled, his eyes darted up. "The one sprawled out naked in the lovely patch of grass behind the swing set."

"Holy hornbags!" America gasped. He lept off the snail and ran over to France. "Dude, put something on before we get arrested for real!"

France's hands were under his head and he was staring up at the soft blue sky with a dream-like expression. "America, what color is the sky?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"You know," France then chuckled softly, "I like to think of clouds as small bursts of love juice, staining the sky, a flawless cerulean bedsheet."

It took America quite some time to get a grip on what exactly France had said. It wasn't like America didn't understand the sickly suggestive language of the Frenchman, it was just that America couldn't really fathom that there was a persone fucked up enough to think about the chaste sky that way.

"Yeah, could you, like, not EVER say something like that ever ag--ouch!" America was pelted on the back of the head by rather large rock.

Hissing, he rubbed his head and looked around. He could see Russia standing on on a wodden play fort, sickeningly sweet smile on his big Russian face. He had the balls to WAVE at America and giggle, as if nothing had happened.

Then Russia opened his mouth and spewed angry flames, burning the whole park down.

Wait, that might have just been in America's mind, but all the same...

The hurting blond stomped over to the fort and folded his arms, then said in a unusually calm voice. "Hey, cracker."

Russia turned slowly to look down at the American who was glaring up at him. His smile only broadened. "Food is always on your mind, it seems."

Ignoring the ig'nant comment from Russia, America continued. "I believe this rock belongs to you. And I think it's begging to get shoved up your ass."

"America is very kinky so early in the afterno--" Russia's rock pegged him in the face. America let out a whoop of victory as Russia brought a hand to his burning cheek. "Ah, you missed."

"Missed? I nailed you dead on!!"

"But, didn't you say you wanted to insert the rock into my ass?"

America grumbled, crossed his arms and thought for a minute. "Well, find another rock so we can get something goin'."

Meanwhile, China was happily swinging. He was off in his own world as he sang Hello China in his mother tongue. Well, the first line anyway.

When he opened his eyes he spotted a blur of white. He skid his feet against the ground to slow the swinging so the blur would become more clear. As the swing slowed more and more, China made the shape out to be Shinatty.

"Shinatty!" He gasped happily. Without thinking, he lept off the swing but couldn't make the landing so he crashed into the wood chippy ground beneath him. However, China was a bamf and therefore, could easily recover from the fall. Getting right back up, he made a mad dash for Shinatty, yelling the creature's name out in jubilation.

Shinatty heard China and his black kitty eyes were wide with fear. He took off in a sprint.

"Kitty-chan! Come here, aru!!" China cried as he chased Shinatty in cricles around the perimeter of the park.

England, who had immediantly hoped on the snail after America left and began to ride just like he had rode Spain's sorry ass so many years ago, noticed China's misconduct. "Hault! Hault! CHINESE MAN, HAULT!"

China nearly stumbled as he came to a stop, then groaned. "Why you think I will listen to a man on a snail, aru?!"

England blushed and jumped off the snail to march over to China. "This is a public park, you are not allowed to sexually harass any person or animal while standing on this propety."

"I will chase Kitty-chan to the streets, then."

"Alright--wait, no! That is still very wrong!" England let out a groan of disgust them grabbed China's wrist. "I'll have top put you behind bars."

"No, aru! Unhand me!" China swatted at the air as he was dragged across the grass and to the metal jungle gym. With England's hand still holding his wrist firmly, he stared at it. "How will I get in, aru? I cannot fit."

"Oh, you could probably squeeze through one of the holes."

"They are very small, aru!!"

"And so are you! A perfect match." With that, England began to force China into one of the small openings that was designed to be able fit ten year olds. Because China was as thin as a ten year old, it wasn't too hard. Actually, England had pushed China's torso through and managed to squeeze in the waist. It was only at the hips that there was some sort of complication.

China grunted. "Stuck. You see what you do, aru?"

"Well I can't help it if you've got an arse."

"Of course! Everyone has one, aru."

"China got a donk!" America cried out in the distance.

"Look, you're going to go in one way or another!" England persisted. He then gave China's ass a few good, hard pats to supposedly help push him through.

"Aaah! Stop that, aru! Kitty-chan has probably escaped by now, aru!!"

England backed a few steps away to exaimine the situation and brought his hand up to his chin. Well, China did seem rather stuck, and as England stared at China's arse, stuck and exposed, examining it carefully, a strange feeling overtook him. He cleared his throat.

"China?"

"What is it, aru?!"

"...Fancy a bit of cock?"

France turned to look at the beautiful Arabic nation that was lying in the grass next to him and smiled. Lebanon caught the glance and smiled back, then spokely softly, his voice coming out sensual and like velvet, "The sky is a magnificant blanket that was created to cover us during our most intimate moments."

France's eyes softened as he noticed the glimmer that surrounded the other nation, and he remained quiet to ponder on what sort of deep, romantic string of words he wanted to flow from his lips. Then it came to him. "I want to fuck you hard."

Lebanon smiled back with glossy eyes. "I know."

"A~ B~ C minor~"

America heard the lovely, gentle singing of musical keys and turned his head to see where it was coming from. He noticed Austria sitting on one of the park benches. His eyes were closed and his head was titled down as if he were alseep or deep in thought. Curious, he walked over to the Austrian.

"F~ G----~ D--~"

"Hey buddy, why ya singing?" America asked, hands in his pockets as he stood in front of the singing man.

After a few seconds, Austria slowly opened his eyes and look at at the American. Then a smile crept up his delicate looking lips. It was a smile that made America shiver, because it made America feel like he had just said the stupidest thing in the world, and Austria pitied the fool.

"I wasn't singing. I was thinking aloud."

America just blinked and tried to understand. "You were...singing in your head so you started singing aloud?"

Austria gave a small sigh of annoyance, but it was patient at the same time. "Incorrect. Those keys you heard? They are my thoughts. You think in English, that is your language of thought. I think in music."

"...so you were thinking about music so you started to sing aloud?"

Before America could further test Austria's patience, Japan came strolling up to them in a cute spring kimono.

Completely ignoring Austria, America beamed at the small Japanese fellow. "Sup, Nipster?"

Japan gave a light bow. "Hello, America-san YOU COCK MUNCHING DOUCHE BAG."

America gasped as he heard words that he didn't even think Japan could say spew from the other nation's mouth. "Dude! The hell is wrong with you?!"

Japan shook his head and frowned, looking geniunly upset with his own behavior. "I have seemed to have suddently developed tourettes syndrome and have reverted back to former state."

"...The former state being?"

"Well, I believe it is CHINA GET YOUR BITCH ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN FUCK YOU UP linked to my attitude during the 30's and 40's."

"Oh man. That's deep shit right there."

"America! I have found a big rock!" Russia waved to America from the top of the fort.

America spun around to see Russia holding a small boulder in his hand. "Daaaamn, boy. Is that gonna even fit?"

Russia only smiled in reply.

"I gotta jet. Uh, good luck with that tourettes thing!" He America dismissed himself quickly and ran off to begin pounding sweet Russian ass.

"Goodbye, America-san I BROKE YOUR DICK ONCE BEFORE RUSSIA I'LL FUCKING DO IT AGAIN. Oh, excuse me..." Japan whispered when he noticed Austria.

"A--~ G----~ Oh, it's quite alright. I was thinking to myself aloud so I really didn't catch any of that. B---~"

"Thinking aloud?"

"Yes. In key notes."

"Oh, that makes prefect sense."

Somewhere in the distance, China's screaming voice, full of ecstasy, cried out, "SHINATTY!"

"Whoa! There's someone dancing at the very top of the fort!" America gawked, boulder in hand, as he watched a seemingly drunk man sloopily dance on the small platform at the top of the tall, wooden play fort.

Russia lifted his eyes up to see. "Da. I hope he falls~ Pretty blood splatters on the ground~"

"Wait a minute...isn't that...Canada?" Sure enough, the meek Canadian was getting jiggy up there. "HEY! Bro! Get your ass down! You're gonna fall and die!" America shouted.

Canada must have heard, because he turned around and stared down at America with crazy eyes. "You never cared before, why do care now?"

His voice was barely audiable, but America caught the words. "Don't be a bitch about it, man..."

"America! Shut up you little whore!"

"...holy shit did you just--"

"I'm sick of being ignored and forgotten! I'm going to end this!" Canada walked towards the edge of the platform.

"Canada!! Chill out!" America pleased desperatly.

"But first...I will tell the world your secret."

America's heart sank and his chest suddently felt empty and cold. "...W-what?"

"You know damn well what I mean. Hey everyone!" The small voiced Canadain shouted, which wasn't an actual shout so no one except Russia and America heard. But Canada didn't care, so he continued. "America has two---"

"JUST JUMP!"

"Huh?" Canada turned his head and spotted Japan down below. "Japan?"

"DO IT, FAGGOT."

"...F-fine!!" And then the Canadian plunged to his death.

America watched with horror as his brother from another mother came crashing down. Japan looked very disappoint. Russia bit his lower lip with excitment.

But Canada landed on a small, innocent child playing on the ground below, causing his fall to break. His life was spared.

America let out a major sigh of relief. "Jeez, that was intense. Okay, where were we, Russia?"

Suddenly, Russia grabbed America's crotch, hard enough to crush the poor blond's nuts, which cause America to yelp loudly.

"Two? What of two do you have? Not penis, it seems..."

"W-Where were we before this happened?" America squeaked out.

Russia smiled and handed his American counterpart the small boulder. Then, they joined hands and skipped off into the sunset to do obscene things to each other.

England and China sat on the ground, panting.

"W-well great! Somehow...somehow we've BOTH managed to get trapped in this odd, dome jail!" England bitched.

"S-Shinatty is...is probably gone by now...!" China panted as he fell back and sprawled out, not caring if the dirt clung to his sweaty body.

"Hello England-san," Japan greeted with a bow towards England from outside the jail. "China," he greeted second in a lower voice, giving a smaller bow. Then he stared at China with crazy eyes. "You're lucky there are FUCKING METAL BARS HOLDING ME BACK."

"Go away, aru!" China cried, throwing wood chips at Japan. Most of them hit the metal and ricocheted back.

Japan started foaming at the mouth. "AND ENGLAND DONT THINK I WONT SHOVE MY FUCKING SWORD ALL THE WAY DOWN YOUR DAMN THROAT YOU FUCKING LAND WHORE--aah, excuse me..." Japan blushed and wiped the foam off with his sleeve, then kindly walked away.

Walking down the street was an average mother with her average son going to an average park. When they arrived at the average park, the average mother was utterly and psychologically disturbed. The scene before her was terrfying. A naked Englishman and a Chinese man were sitting in the jungle gym, a rabid Japanese man was running around screaming about how he would take over the world, a naked couple was cuddeling and watching clouds, another couple was doing unthinkable things with a giant rock and some fancy prick (probably a pedophile) was sitting on a bench, singing. Not to mention there was a 'dead' body lying near the fort.

With a trembling hand, the average woman pulled out her average cellphone and dialed 911.

It was about five minutes before everyone heard the police sirens. They all shrugged it off because to them, some sirens meant nothing. The call could have been for antying. However, they did all start to panic when ten (yes, ten) police cars pulled up and a horde of officers ran out and straight for the unsuspecting countries.

Then there was a mad dash. People were throwing their clothes back on, England had to seriously struggle to push China's ass OUT of the jail, Austria had tripped over a rock and had fallen, France was doging bullets, America was getting beat with a baton while Russia had melee combat with a group of officers...it was a disaster. Japan pulled out his sword and gave a shout, "BONSAII!!!" before charging into the crowd of officers who were all armed with hand guns.

When it was all said and done, everyone managed to escape, running into people's backyards, hiding in pools, diving under cars, and the only real threat had not been destroyed because hiding in one of the park trees lurked a certain Spanish pedophile.

Canada's eyes slowly opened, but not to light. No, it was very dark out when he finally regained conciousness. He lay there on his back, somehow feeling as if his body had been stepped on quite a bit while he was out of it. He didn't move, only stared up at the stars.

"Stomaches..." the Canadian whispered. "He has two stomaches..."

[crackfic] From Idiots to the Insane

2010-04-04T04:15:40Z

CRACKFIC

Rating: M
Warnings: Light sex scenes, sexual jokes, profanity and mild violence
Synopsis: The Allied Forces decide to rent a hotel room for a night just for the fun of it. Find out how THAT ends.

What’s the point of renting a hotel room for no good reason other than to ‘have fun’? Sure, things are fine and dandy during the day, but how can ya have late night pillow fights when you have to obey that keeping-quiet-while-others-sleep policy?
Well, someone seemed to think it would be a great idea.

America waved the hotel card key around—just because there was nothing better to do—and gave a sad little smile at the others coming in the revolving hotel doors. “Ya’ll are slow.”

“Well, if I had run off and left everyone else to carry my crap for me, I’d be ahead, too,” huffed England in his everlasting pissy voice. It would be cute if he wasn’t so serious about everything. “My god, France. We’re only staying a night; why the hell do you need all those bags?”
England observed the various bags France had piled up on the luggage cart. They weren’t big, exactly. There was one big one for clothes, obviously, China’s and Russia’s bags and various other small ones.

“Well, I needed to bring my makeup and hair accessories.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Non.”

And suddenly America burst into laughter. France and England whipped around to find Russia and China stuck in the revolving doors.
Russia was obviously trying to play mind games with China, walking one way while the smaller man walked the other. Whenever China moved in the opposite direction to try to counter Russia, Russia moved in the opposite direction right with him.

“I got this, I got this.” America waltz over to the door and it was painfully obvious he was trying to hold back any more laughter.

“Heeey, buddy, need some help?” America asked, stepping into the section of door that China was in just before Russia quickly slammed against one of the doors in order to close them off to the exit once more.

“He is awful, aru! What have I done to him this time, aru? Nothing!”

America patted China on the back and nearly knocked him over. “If Russia is causing you psychological or physical harm, that means he’s coming onto you,” America explained wisely as China continued to win Russia’s little game.

“Aiiyooo!”

A very deranged giggle was heard from behind them and if America didn’t know better, he would assume Russia was a child predator. It was the giggle, really. Pedophiles either had really deep voices or really high pitched one—America watched C.S.I. so he totally knew everything about everything.

Baww, but that couldn’t be true because Russia was so cute that if he wasn’t so big and old he’d be perfect jailbait or something.

While America had thought up all of that, he hadn’t even notice that China managed to escape and now it was only him and Russia.

“Your turn, America~”

“No probably. You’re nothing scary. Just like…an overgrown teddy bear. One that comes to life at night and chases everyone around with a butcher’s knife…”

“Your voice is trembling.”

“Your face is trembling!” America retorted expertly as he ran towards the right, but quickly shifted to the left to try and psyche Russia out.

Russia anticipated that and pushed to the right.

“Okay, okay. Not bad,” America admitted.

Then he decided to exercise his total power by ramming the door as hard as possible so that even if Russia did force the other way, he’d be able to overpower that and win.

The funny thing is, Russia decided to do the exact same.

“He’s got the key, hasn’t he?” England realized as he tapped his foot on the ground. He looked back towards the doors to see America and Russia both on the floor, rubbing their wounded bodies and from the looks of it, yelling at each other.

England marched over there while France walked into the small hotel store and browsed through this month’s issue of Maxim. (It was for the male cologne ads, really)

“Stop flirting and get your arse over here! Did you even remember you had the keys? Probably not.”

America and Russia were both up now and they had apparently silently decided to cooperate with each other. “Key? Oh shit, where is it…?”
England’s heart sank.

“Ahaha! Just kidding I got it right here.”

“Bastard…” England sniffed and whacked America on the head.

“We will call it a tie this time, Amer—” As Russia walked into the hotel lobby, America pushed the doors against him, kind of like slamming the door in his face, causing him to fall back again.

“I always get the last laugh, ho.”

England pulled America in the direction of the elevator. When they passed the small hotel shop next to the check-in/check-out counter, England hollered, “Come on, France. Get your hand out of your pants and grab the cart.”

France chuckled—Oh the thrill of being caught in the act!—and placed the magazine back on the shelf. When he exited the shop, he noticed Russia carrying the luggage cart.

“I got this, da?” Russia replied with a smile.

France didn’t quite know what the man had in mind or why he wanted to carry the cart, but it could only mean that Russia was planning to do something sick and twisted. Yes, of course. That had to be it. Flipping his hair, France smiled as well. “I’m flattered.” With a little wiggle of the ass, he scuttled off to catch up with England and America.

“Hey are you Russian?” Nameless American citizen said after hearing the Russian’s creamy accent.

It was best to keep things simple for humans. “Da.”

“So does that mean you’re carrying a BOMB inside those bags? And guns too? Are you going to shoot this place up?”

“…No.” But continue talking and I might reconsider.

“So Call of Duty has lied to me!” The nameless citizen huffed in anger. “My life is ruined!” Then nameless citizen ran off to star in the Hetalia movie trailer.

“Hey, Russia!” America’s loud and sometimes squeaky called from down the hall. “I’m gonna press it! Better get your ass in here before I press iiiiit~! Oh dude my finger slipped and I totally just pressed it!”

As they walked towards their hotel rooms, conveniently on the eighth floor, France slipped a couple packs of soap into his pocket when they passed the maid cart. Unfortunately, the maid had just finished up and noticed the crime from her peripheral.

The old and rather wrinkly lady glared at France who was much too busy walking with the other Allies to notice he had been caught.
“I’ve been waiting all day for a punk to come by and do that! Miss, turn around this instance!”

The Allies froze. None of them spoke for a few seconds and by the end of those few seconds they could literally feel the woman’s anger.
“She’s talking to you, China,” America whispered.

“No! She was definitely referring to France,” England corrected.

France huffed. “My ass is sculpted to masculine perfection. It is China who has the lady ass.”

“Aiyaa! None of that is true, aru!”

“Oh? Well if you’d let me perform a thorough examination then perhaps we could all clear—”

A can of Febreze was launched at France and pegged him right in the head. “I know very well what you did so don’t bother yourself with hiding it! Ma’am, the right thing to would be to—Oh. You’re no woman…”

The old lady’s jaw slowly dropped and her eyes widened as France turned, showing her the flawless bone structure of his face, the rich facial hair and the dark chest hairs that were exposed by partially unbuttoned velvet top, his shimmering golden locks bouncing lightly as he turned. A sexy little smirk was playing on his rosy lips.

He gently cleared his throat, “You didn’t see anything.”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“These are not the soaps you’re looking for.”

“These are not the soaps I’m looking for.”

“China is the one with the feminine ass.”

“China is the one with the feminine ass.”

By that point, China was blushing and huffily standing by their hotel-room door with crossed arms.

Blushing too was the maid, who had torn her gaze from the beauty that was France and was slowly pushing her cart along, her mind still in that fantastic daze.

“France, that was…”

France smiled as he turned his eyes to the Englishman. “Spectacular? Dazzling?”

“Incredibly…” England closed his mouth because nothing was going to come out and he knew it. He opened his mouth again then closed it slowly, still being unable to say anything.

“You look like a fish now, love.”

“Why you—”

“Dude! The snacks here are awesome!” America cheered through a mouthful of Doritos.

“Close your bloody mouth and open the door,” England suggested.

America slipped the card key in and the light turned green. He pulled the key out and England snatched it from him. “I’m holding onto it, because I know you’d lose it.”

“Whatever,” America shrugged then pushed the door open. The smell of freshly cleaned, four star hotel room wafted around them, but something highly disturbing was in the room. “How the fff—”

“You all are so much slow!” Russia smiled at the other wide eyes Allies. Behind him was the cart, luggage completely intact and in perfect condition.

“How did you get in there? How did you manage to drag that thing AALLL the way up 8 flights of stairs—I know we got delayed but there is no freaking way!! W-we were standing outside the door for the past like, ten minutes—HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?” America squawked and sputtered.

England shoved the startled American out of the way with France following after, giving America (who had been pushed to the ground) a little kick before hopping into the room.

China was the only one kind enough to offer help but he might as well have no even lent America a hand because he couldn’t lift the man for the life of him.

“I got this, thanks though,” America huffed as he jumped up and slammed the door shut once they were all inside.

Once inside, England started unloading his clothes, insisting that even though they’d only be there for a day and a night, he’d feel better if all his clothes were neatly folded and tucked in drawers. France was in control of the bathroom, mostly because he was getting his foundation, blow dryer, body wash, cologne, chest hair curler, and god knows what else, situated on the counter.

America remained standing near the door. They had rented a joint room, meaning they basically got two rooms that were joined together on one wall via a shared door. That door could be locked for safety purposes, of course.

“Who’s alright with sleeping in the same bed as France?”

Silence.

“Thought so. Okay, I call one of the beds in this room!”

“No you don’t,” England corrected quickly. He pushed the drawer shut and looked to America. “My belongings are already in here, as are France’s.”

“Oooh, sounds like you want to share a room with him, man~” America teased as England’s face turned a bit redder.

“Facts are facts. Half of his crap is already in the bathroom so…”

“Fine, fine. If you insist on denying and if you insist on refusing to be generous and share a bed with someone…Russia and I can sleep in the next room and China can sleep on the floor or something.”

A couple gasps were heard and China muttered, “That’s racist, aru.”

“It would be good to save space by sleeping in the same bed,” Russia suggested and there was something in his voice was sounded like some sort of sick pleasure and it gave America a boner.

“Uuuuh, hey, I don’t think that’s gonna be a good idea.”

“Yes it is.” Russia grabbed the luggage cart and pushed it forward. It careened towards America and the blond dove onto the bed in order to save himself. “Fucking psycho! Psycho Communist! My god, did you guys see him try to kill me?!”

The cart slammed against the door loudly. Russia only giggled, “Oops!”

Everyone ignored America’s yelling. China grabbed his bag and headed into the other room, giving America a bitter little glare as he walked passed with the swagger of an angry queer, his slender butt moving with the motion of his hips.

“I kinda see what you mean now, France,” America observed as he stared.

France smiled. “France knows best when it comes to these things~”

“Dat ass,” Rich Boy concurred.

Russia grabbed his luggage as well as America’s wrist. “Which side of the bed do you like best,” he asked as he dragged America into the other room.

America wanted to replay with a, ‘side that’s furthest from the door’ but instead said, “Doesn’t matter.”

“In that case, I will put you closest to the door, da?”

“Yeah, perfect.”

After settling into the room, which took longer than one would think it would, they decided to head down to the spa. Pools, hot tubs, saunas and free massages. What could be better?

While America ran around the pool and got yelled at a good few times for doing so, England, France , and China decided to relax in the Jacuzzi.

Something about being in a hot tub with two delicious looking men made France rather horny. Instead of molesting anyone just yet, he scooted closer to China and whispered, “I know a way for you to regain your masculinity.”

China looked up at him with cautious eyes but it was obvious that he was interested. “What is it, aru?”

France smiled and leaned even closer, but not before giving a certain Brit a quick glance. “You must dominate England in bed.” China gasped. France only chuckled and continued, “First, seduce him.”

“I-I couldn’t, aru…” China whispered back.

“China, you have the curves that could stop moving traffic. Go for it.”

China bit his lower lip in hesitation. It really wasn’t right for his friends to think that he was feminine so he knew that eventually he’d have to regain his masculinity somehow.

“I’ll do it, aru.”

“Wonderful!” France gave China a small ass squeeze (for encouragement, of course…) and let the Chinese man work his magic, a magic known as Asian Seduction.

China slipped passed France and took a seat on the Jacuzzi bench rather close to England, invading his personal bubble completely. He purred, “It’s hot in here, isn’t it?”

England looked over, a little surprised to see that suddenly China was uncomfortably close to him—their hips were touching—and France looking off into the distance with feigned innocence. “Yes, you well, the point of a Jacuzzi is to be extremely wa—” England stopped when he felt China’s hand wrap around his shoulder.

“Do you know what I make my Sims do in the hot tub, aru?” China’s eyes were glossy and they captivated England with their sensuality. He felt himself growing more and more nervous—and was that China’s hand he felt brushing up his thigh?
“W-what do you make them do?” He asked after swallowing.

China leaned in, his lips almost pressing into England’s neck. “Woohoo,” he whispered, his warm breath making England’s skin prickle.
It was too much. England was NOT about to get it on with China—it just didn’t feel right. Sure, they both had an erection (China’s was pressing against England hip, you see) but that by no means meant that he was ready to take the guy, or be taken, considering China was being sexually intimidating just then.

England laughed nervously and hastily pushed China off. It wasn’t a shove and England did try to be polite about it, but how polite could you be when there was a horny man spreading your legs apart in a hot tub?

“I-I’m going to get a massage!” England said loudly, hopping out of the Jacuzzi and stumbling off to the massage room while trying to hide his honkin’ boner.

China sat, defeated. Well, that sure as hell went well. Even though the water was steaming, he couldn’t help but feel cold on the inside. It was almost as if his pride had been crushed. Oh wait, it had been.

The he felt two hairy arms wrap around his waist and his body be pulled into France’s and then something large and pert poke him in his butt. Oh…he knew what that was…

“Shall we put your growing arousal and promiscuous little mood to good use?” France purred into his ear.

China shrugged. France was no Shinatty, but it would work for now.

Whack!
“America, that’s not so nice,” Russia said with a smile as America repeatedly slapped him on the head with a long, peach colored, foamy noodle.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” America started poking Russia in the face with the tip of the noodle.

“You really like to test me, don’t y—Ah! My eye, America…” The noodle had slipped and got Russia in the eye, causing it to tear up immensely. The Russian brought a hand up to cover the eye.

“Oh, my bad. You okay?” Something like concern hung on America’s words as he floated over to where Russia was standing.

Yes, Russia could stand at the deep end of the poor without drowning because the water was only about six feet deep. That was pretty cool since he was the only one who could do that, but America wasn’t going to say that aloud.

Russia was still rubbing his eye when America got there. “Oh come on, you big baby. It’s seriously not that ba—”

Russia shoved America’s head under water, completely taking the reckless nation by surprise. When America popped back up, gasping and wheezing for breath, Russia only smiled.

“What the fuck is your deal, man?! You wanna kill me? Do it like a man! Drowning is for puss—”

Once again, Russia shoved America’s face in the water, but this time America had grabbed onto Russia and brought him down with him.
The life guard had just left due to shift change so there was really no one around to stop them so they continued killing each other.

After a while, Russia and America released each other and America took the opportunity to hop out and run for the sauna in order to run away from the blood thirsty Russian (though he had told himself it was to lure Russia into a small area in order to trap him).

The massage room was very relaxing. There were no lights, just candles, very lovely smelling candles, something like lavender. Soft music was emitted from every corner of the dimly lit room. England felt so peaceful and relaxed in the tranquil atmosphere that he nearly forgot about the fiasco that went down in the hot tub.

Then a slim man walked out from behind a door to greet England. He was wearing something that looked like a kimono only not as heavy or elegant.

England stood up. “Japan.”

“England-san, I did not expect to see you here. I am pleased, however. You wish for a massage, yes?” Japan asked in his soft voice as he floated over to England.

“Are you the one who’s going to be performing it?” England asked, his interest in getting a massage suddenly growing.

“Yes. Follow me~” Japan said with a flash of something devilishly mischievous in his eyes. England didn’t see that, however, and he most eagerly followed Japan into a private massage room.

******************

“Aniki, Aniki!”

China screamed. Not because France was pounding him into the side of the hot tub, but because he was so sure he heard Korea’s voice.

“Aniki! Aniki! What is this? So scandalous, da ze!”

China opened his eyes and aside from seeing a panting, thrusting France, he spotted Korea dressed in a disgustingly cute life guard outfit with the little inner tube and all. China started telling himself that this was all a good dream gone bad, and that any second Korea would disappear and things would be all better again.

“Let me join!” Korea jumped into the hot tub as if there was nothing weird about the situation.

“No! No, aru! Stop! Leave me alone, aru!”

“D-don’t yell that, you sound like you’re getting raped…They’ll try to arrest me again…” France grunted uneasily.

“Aniki, the water is hot!”

“Hurry up, France,” China hissed, fearing that Korea would actually taint his precious asshole this time.

“Aniki, I’m a virgin, da ze…Where does this go?”

Something jabbed China in the ear.

“AIYAA! Get that out of there, aru!!”

“Aniki why isn’t this fun like everyone says! Aniki, I want to do what France is doing, da ze~!” Korea thrust his hips in frustration, causing him to practically fuck China in the ear.

China stopped caring because at that instance he climaxed and France soon followed, because both of them knew they might as well let it rip since Korea had ruined any chances of a long sex session that they had.

“Why did you both scream? Aniki, did something break!?” Korea grabbed China and pulled him free of France’s wang.

France laughed through a worn out yet satisfied sigh and leaned against the side of the Jacuzzi to rest.

China panted and didn’t bother to stop Korea from fanning him with a stolen Japanese paper fan. The cool air felt good, especially since the heat of the water and the heat of the sex were starting to make him dizzy.

“It’s hilarious when I imagine the facial expression of the lucky guest who mistakes our sex fluids for foam.”

But it was too late because Korea was already innocently splashing about in it.

-----------------------------------------

Arthur was lying on his stomach, swimming trunks off and replaced by a white towel around his waist. Japan was standing by the massage table and explaining the routine they’d go through.

“I will work down starting from the shoulder. My main focus will be on relaxing the tense shoulder muscles and any other points of stiffness that you detect. From the shoulder I will make a quick trail down your back and then give the hips a quick visit. To finish it off, I will apply repeated slaps to the buttocks.”

England shot up. “Repeated slaps to the buttocks?”

“I am gentle.”

“W-well yes, but that just seems a bit…oh, it’s probably just me. Alright, begin when you are ready.” England lowered back down to his stomach. This shouldn’t be too awkward, should it?

“Hai. Can I get you to take a deep breath then exhale slowly?”

“Oh, right.” England inhaled deeply, filling his lungs to the brim with rich oxygen infused with candle smoke. Then he exhaled as Japan lubricated his hands for the massage.

England closed his eyes and not too long after did he feel Japan’s skilled hands get to work on his shoulder. As Japan pressed and rubbed, England felt a friction on his loin again. He groaned, trying to ignore it.

“Is everything okay?” Japan asked, noticing the noise. His fingers gently wrapped around the base of England’s neck.

England bit his lip. “Yes, fantastic. You are gifted, Japan.”

“I would not give myself that much credit, but if you insist, England-san…thank you.”

England must have dosed off, because the next thing he knew, Japan’s hands were rubbing circles into England’s hip and England’s little solider was definitely at attention once more.

“I am nearing the end,” Japan warned.

“Take all the time you need,” England said in a smaller voice than he would have liked.

The movement on England’s hip died as did the contact Japan’s hands had with his body. England assumed this was because Japan was preparing for the ass slapping fest, but England knew his assumption was dead wrong when he felt something splendidly warm and soft pres against his thighs and his butt. Japan, who was somehow naked now (when did that happen?), had crawled onto an equally naked England (when did his towel disappear?) and was straddling him.

“My god, Japan…”

“This is part of my special Erotic Massage services. To be honest, you are the only one to have his sort of treatment. Feel privileged, England-san.”

“I think my dick says it all, Japan.”

--------------------------------

“Can you breathe well, America?”

“H-hell yeah,” the blonde panted. “Why don’t you add some of that coal lookin’ shit? I can handle another…another fifty degrees…But look at you, you whale. You’re practically dying…!”

“Not…dying…!” Russia laughed painfully. “Just…so hot…feels nice…like a very, very hot green house…”

“Flowers die in too much heat, man…Not that I think you’re a beautiful flower or anything because that would be gay…” Even though the glistening sweat made Russia’s muscular frame all that more attractive.

Russia only smiled knowingly.

They ended up in that situation because Russia had chased America into the sauna and it was America’s smart idea to challenge Russia to an endurance match. America knew something though. He knew that at times like these, where the good guy and bad guy were both in the sauna together, one would lock the other in. It was usually the bad guy that locked the good guy in, like how it happened in Superman! (Or something like that).

America’s only choice was to lock Russia in the sauna and save himself. The Commie was probably plotting t do the same exact thing, so America had to be the first act. Jumping up and startling Russia in the process, America ran out of the sauna and glued the door shut with Hubba Bubba gum and a blow dryer.

“MacGyver aint got jack SHIT on me!” America cheered triumphantly. Then, feeling sticky, he headed for the showers.

Towel (and Korea’s arm) around his shoulders, China glared at the floor. For some awful reason, Korea had dragged China out of the hot tub and started to perform a very unnecessary CPR. Shortly into it, China had slapped Korea multiple times.

France drifted over to the wall that China and Korea we resting against. He threw his wet locks back and out of his face before giving China somewhat of an apologetic smile.

China looked up at him. “I’m going back to the hotel room, aru. My ear and butt hurt.”

France extended a hand to help China up while Korea only whimpered. “Aniki don’t leave me! You have to help me practice to get it right!”
“You have duty, aru!” China’s voice snapped, causing Korea to smile and carry his cute little butt back to his post.
“Can you walk?” France purred. “Do you need me to carry you~?”

“I am fine, aru. I have regained my masculinity and now I must keep it.” China’s voice was thick with determination and pride. France could sense the emotion and he gave the shorter nation a nod of approval as they both strode out of the pool room, France wearing nothing and China rockin’ a Hello Kitty bikini bottom—the true epitome of manliness, they were.

The water beat down on America’s body and he ran a hand through his soaked hair. “It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrimgfhgh,” he sang. Well, if that could be considered singing. It was more like singing a well known line of a well known song then letting your voice fade out after that well known line was over, but whatever.

“dffgdfhghghfjdfj the eeeeyyeeeeee------of the tigeeer!”

Then the curtain of the shower stall was pulled back and America turned, prepared to castrate the Peeping Tom, even if America did have to admit that he had a killer bod that was worth peeping at.

But it wasn’t a strange peeping Tom, it was Russia.

Russia?! How did that monster break out of the sauna that was expertly sealed?!

“America, you like playing these hide-n-seek games, da?” Russia’s voice was sickeningly sweet as he stepped into the stall and closed the curtain behind him.

America squeaked with delight but quickly put on an angry face and pretended to be distressed. “You godless Commie, I will punch you in the gut until you die. Then I’ll get a zombie machine to bring you back to life so I can do it all over again.”
“Do you want to continue to play or should we end the game here and now?” Russia inched closer as his voice became deeper, thicker, more threatening.

A pleasant shiver ran through America’s entire being. God, Russia was so sexy and dangerous looking and, and…

America had to keep up his façade just a bit longer. “Hey, back off man! You remember what happened last time you messed with me—” And then he was slammed up against the shower wall, America’s body pressed up against the wall and Russia’s pressed into America’s.

Then Russia traced America’s jaw line with his fingers, quite a gentle gesture given the situation they were in. “So cute when you think you are intimidat—”

It was America’s turn to dominate. He pushed Russia back into the other wall and immediately forced the other nation into a feverish kiss. He wrapped his legs around Russia’s and gave a satisfied gasp into the kiss when he felt Russia’s hands cup his ass.

From then their hot make out slash fondling session continued with major tongue in mouth action and lots of squeezing and moaning.

It was nearing six ‘o clock when England returned to the hotel room. France was watching a soap opera on the television while China, Russia and America were nowhere to be found. “Where are the others?” Then to answer his own question, “Pissing around, probably.”

France didn’t take his eyes off the tv screen. “China is taking a hot bubble bath. We Internet searched, and apparently hot baths help anal fissures to heal better.”

“Do I even want to know why he has an anal fissure?”

France’s only response was a smile. Yep, England definitely didn’t want to know why now.

England, worn out, walked over the bed that France was not lying on naked and let out a sigh. It felt good to be on a bed, especially since massage tables were quite uncomfortable after a few hours.

It was then that France looked over to England. He saw the hickeys, the bite marks, the bruises. He also noticed that England’s trunks had disappeared and instead he had a white towel around his waist.

“Japan did you well, I see.”

England’s flushed. “H-how did you know?” It wasn’t totally out of the realm of logic for France to have somehow developed the ability to determine who you had sex with based on love marks. Maybe he could tell by scent, too.

“You have, well…” France cleared his throat, “two tiny stickers of the Japanese flag…on top of your nipples.”
England looked down at his chest. “Oh, I sure do.”

Then England’s cell phone began singing. The ringtone was the theme song to some crazy British children’s cartoon that would melt the brain of any non-British person who dared watch it.

“Kirkland speaking.”

“If your refrigerator running?”

That was voice was definitely America’s, and judging by the slurs and how overly stupid he sounded, he was drunk.

“…America, is that you?”

“Well then you’d better go catch it, ahaha!”

America hung up, leaving England to stare at the phone, distraught and just plain disappointed.

Then there was knock on the door. England got off the bed to tend to it. Looking through the peep hole, he could see America, barely able to keep enough balance to stand. Yep, definitely drunk.

England opened the door, saying nothing and just staring at other blond.

Instead of walking in, America stood in the doorway. “Heeey…you wanna see my—hic--WMD…?”

“Does it involve you taking off your pants?”

“Yeeeeaah.”

“Then no.”

England shut the door in the stunned America’s face, and England doubted America would even have been able to react quick enough to prevent himself from being locked out. Besides, England was angry with America. The kid had gotten drunk and hadn’t invited England? Outrageous! But having wild sex with Japan might just have been worth it.

A few seconds later, England pulled the door back open. It would not be a good idea to leave America outside, he could do something stupid and they could all get in trouble. Outside, America was licking the wall.

England grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room. Once he released America, the kid tumbled to the floor. England ignored the loud noise and hoped no one below would hear it.

“Where is Russia? Something tells me you’d know. Is he drunk as well? Where the hell did you get the drinks from, anyway?”
“Hello, hello? Baby you called, I can’t hear a thing!”

“Oh, shut the hell up.” England gave America a shove before walking to the window to gaze at pigeons.

“Fraaaance…you’re naked,” America noticed as he crawled over to the bed France was lying on and peered over the mattress.

“So are you.”

“I am? I am?” America gasped and look at his fully clothed body in wonderment.

“Ha! I got you! I got you!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP BOTH OF YOU!”

America and France turned their heads with their jaws dropped and an ‘oh no you DIDn’t’ expression on their faces.

China walked out of the bathroom in a red bath robe. “Aiyaa…still sore, but getting better.”

Then a bubbling sound was heard from the bathroom, like there was something wonky going on with the pipes. Everyone else was either too busy or too drunk to notice the noise, but China heard it. He turned around to investigate
.
He concluded that the noise was definitely coming from the tub. He walked back into the bathroom. And then he screamed.

“Russia! What you doing in the bath?!” China backed up against the sink, wondering if he was imaging all of this. He had just got out of there and Russia wasn’t in there so how did he magically appear like that?!

Russia smiled. “Is it strange for me to be in here?”

“Yes! Yes it is!”

“Who the hell are you talking to, China?” England walked to the bathroom, and France gave him a little slap to the ass as he passed the TV. England only grunted in reply.

“Russia appeared in the bath just now…” China slipped out of the bathroom to meet England in the room.

“Why am I not surprised?” England only sighed. “Russia, get out of there.”

Russia stepped out of the tub and smiled down at China. “You shed a lot.”

Blushing, the Chinese man ran a hand through his long, damp hair self-consciously.

“Oh, I didn’t mean from up there.”

“….”
“What’s for dinner?!” America yelled from the bed.

“You’re not getting any! We’re not going to let you have any,” England told him.

“Buuuuuuuuuuuuull shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

After hearing America’s voice, Russia immediately pushed passed China and England and tackled America on the bed.

“Can’t even stay off each other for five minutes!” England gave up and walked over to the phone—placed between France’s bed and the bed that the two sex monsters were biting and scratching each other on—to order room service for dinner.

After shuffling through a drawer for the menu, England picked up the phone.

“Hello, I’d like to order a meal. Ah, yes, let’s see…” He looked over the menu. It was filled with incredibly fancy French food for some awful reason. “…Well, I think I’ll—Gah! France, DO NOT pinch my arse! Oh, terribly sorry about that…where was I? Yes, right, I’d like the chef’s special for five. Yes, that’s it. Alright then.”

Instead of hanging up the phone, England smacked France in the head with it. “What the bloody hell is your problem? I was ordering!”
France smiled and gave England a sexy little wink. “Aren’t you horny? America and Russia are tearing it up right next to you.”

Now that England thought about it, the moaning and screaming WAS getting rather loud and sexually arousing.

“N-no, not at all. You pervert…” England mumbled and pushed Francis to the other side of the bed so he could relax. “Don’t try anything.”
“I won’t~” purred the Frenchman.

China was feeling rather awkward so he decided to blow dry his hair with a fan that he had brought into the bathroom. Where he got the fan? No one knew. He probably made it out of thin air, though.

England rested his head against the plush pillow and closed his eyes, putting his body at risk, but it just felt so good to chill like that.
Things were going fine for England—France was obviously distracted by the soap opera he was watching, but then England felt something land on his face. It wasn’t wet or warm or sticky, so he was thankful for that at least, but when he opened his eyes, there was darkness.

Something was covering his face, something cloth-like.

He pulled whatever it was off his face and looked at it.

Staring back at him were adorable little Hello Kitty faces on a small pair of underwear. “Okay, who threw this?” England’s voice was rather calm now.

“Russia did!”

“America’s sin.”

England slowly turned to the ‘couple’ and completely ignored the fact that he could see Russia’s thick wang penetrating America’s entrance and then America’s trouser snake doing the same for Russia—wait how the hell does that even work….?

“Which one of you threw China’s underwear on my face?”

There was a knock on the door, causing England’s heart to sink. He jumped off the bed. “You two, knock it off!!”

“Whaaaat. S’not like he couln’t hear us from like, a MILE away. I’m surprised people aint sent in complaints yet.”

England threw a pillow at America and walked to the door to retrieve the food. “No, no, I can carry the tray just fine—yes, thank you.”

England quickly kicked the door shut when the large platter with the five different dishes on it was safely in his hands. He set the tray on the desk in the corner. “I’m not eating while you two are doing that, so finish up.”

“Dude, there’s blood on the bed now,” America laughed at that fact after he orgamsed.

“And semen too!” Russia joined in with a giggle.

“My god, you’re both so immature,” England hissed. “France, put some clothes on. I can’t eat if I have to look at you naked.”

“Aiyaa!!” China screamed from in the bathroom.

“Wow, China. That sounded kind of…pained. Are you alright?” England walked to the bathroom. When he opened the door, he saw that

China’s hair was caught in the fan. “Oh, fabulous.”

While England helped free China, America walked over to the food. “Whoa, thanks guys!”

“That’s not ALL for just YOU,” France rolled his eyes.

“Oh. Dude, is China screaming? What da fuck is England doing to him?”

“Some say that England is magical,” France began. “He talks to strange, imaginary creatures, he has spell books, his cock is unusually pink, but there is also something else they say. Would you like know what that thing is, America?”

“…who is ‘they’?”

“They? They is they.”

“I don’t—I don’t get it.”

“What isn’t there to get?”

“I mean, like, who is they? They is a group of people, right?”

“Yes.”

“A group is made up of individuals so I mean…who are these people…?”

“America, how would you like my tongue up your---”

“We got it!” England announced with relief from the bathroom. “He’s free! The hair is free, everyone!”

“Bon appetite!” France cheered.

“Wait! You never told me what they say!”

“Well, whose fault is that, America?”

“Let’s just eat,” England suggested as he came up to the table. “We’ve all had hardcore buttsex today, so I’m sure we’re all hungry.”
No one could disagree.

The rest of the day carried on like it normally would when the Allies were all together in a rather small room. Later that night, they had started a naked pillow fight but were quieted by the hotel manager after he received several complaints about the noise. So instead they all went to the local bar and got shit faced, then returned to the hotel at 3 in the morning and got fussed at some more.

Then it came time for them to check out the next morning. America wanted to have a bit of fun before they left so when they entered the lobby, he hopped onto a luggage rack and started to ride it around the hotel.

Everyone joined in. Before long they were speeding around the lobby and crashing into random people just for the shits and giggles. That is, until they got yelled at again.

As they walked out, America and China were very cautious of the revolving doors. They made sure Russia was out in the parking lot before they even got close to the door.

“That was pretty fun!” America laughed as they walked to the Alliesmobile. “I think my bone is jutting out of arm from that last fall, but it sure was epic!”

“Yes, I suppose that was rather entertaining. I’ll have to see if Japan works at any other massage places…” England said mostly to himself.
France stopped. “Ah, it looks as if someone is rummaging through our trunk doesn’t it? Oooh, that sounded naughty.”

But he was right. There was definitely someone near their vehicle and the lid to the trunk was definitely up.

They ran over there, fearing that someone was trying to break into their prized, crime fighting automobile.

But when they got to the van, they were relieved to see that it was…

“Canada?” France gasped. “What are you doing here? And why are you putting your luggage into the rear of my van—Oh, this is going to sound naughty too.”

“Yeah, what’s the deal, bro?” America asked.

Canada looked down and blushed a bit. He bit his lower lip gently, as if he wanted to say something but was either too shy or too nervous to. Then after a moment he looked up at them. “Oh, well, you see…you guys hadn’t noticed, but…I was with you all the entire time.”

WWII Meets Chuck E. Cheese

2010-02-28T18:00:35Z

" Warning! Crack fic ahead! Enter at your own risk!!

Rating: P13, bitches.
Summery:
What is childhood good for other than fueling pedophilia and shotacon?

Being a kid is exciting and fun. If you were bored, you could easily find something to do. You made up your own games rather than play overpriced games that nerds made. Some of your best and most treasured memories were created during your childhood.

You want to go back to feeling like a child. To not caring about relationships or school or life at all. Let me take you back to a spot in childhood that I hope everyone has experienced--a trip to Chuck E. Cheese through the eyes of the (adult) Allies and Axis Powers.

"This is Captain Jones, requesting lift off."

"Right'o."

In the cockpit of 'Space Shuttle Apollo 250' sat an overly enthusiastic Alfred F. Jones and his not-as-enthusiastic-but-more-excited-than-normal partner, Arthur Kirkland.

"Cockland, Imma need a computer reading before take off," Jones requested.

"Kirkland, not Cockland."

"Um, Huston, we're havin some issues here. Cockland is refusing to give me the reading."

"I'll give you the bloody reading!" Arthur rolled his eyes and started clicking away at the side of the plastic fortress they were in, as if a computer was positioned there or something. "Computer is giving me the OK."

Alfred brought an invisible mic to his lips once again. "We're all set. Am I clear for take off?"

"Permission granted," Arthur replied.

"Swee--wait. You've been Huston this whole time?"

"Just roll with it, Jones. Roll with it."

"OKAY, I AM STARTING THE COUNTDOWN," Alfred announced excitedly.

"Understood!"

"I AM STARTING THE COUNTDOWN NOW."

"Carry on~!"

"COUNTDOWN IS BEING START--"

"For fuck's sake...10!" Arthur took the liberty to kick things off.

"9!"

"8!"

"7!"

"6!"

"Awww, fuck it--Imma take this bitch into space NOW!" Alfred mashed the imaginary 'launch' button and let out a triumph woot that resembled the strange sex noises of a Japanese Ronald McDonald.

Meanwhile, Feliciano was having a bit of trouble.

See, he invited Ludwig to play the game where you aim the water gun at the target which would propel a Barbie doll up towards a bell. Whoever hit the bell first, won.

"Ludwig, Ludwig. How do I play?"

"Well," The German cleared his powerful throat, "you aim this dangerous weapon at the doll. Aim it right at her face. Do you see the doll?"

"Aah, no. Oh! Is that it?"

"Yes. Alright, so once you have your high powered, rapid firing gun aimed at the victim, get it locked onto her face until the war buzzer sounds. Once it sounds, you know you have destroyed the enemy."

"Oh! Sounds fun!" Feliciano smiled as he took a hold of the handles on his 'rapid firing gun.'

They both pressed the button and the game began. Ludwig was grunting as he murdered the Barbie's face with the small jet stream of water and Feliciano was smiling as he managed to spray everywhere except at the doll.

It was after a few seconds that Ludwig realized they were playing the game wrong. He blushed as he conceded defeat, "Maybe...maybe we're supposed to be aiming at those targets below the dolls..."

"Huh? Did you say something, Ludwig?" Feliciano turned his body to face the German and it just so happened that when he turned his body, he turned his gun.

Needless to say, the water pelted the fine blond. Roaring in surprise, Ludwig covered his face with his hand and stumbled backwards.

"Oh! Ludwig! I'm sorry!" the Italian wiggled helplessly as the water continued to shoot at his butt buddy.

Back towards the center of the arcade, Ivan was trying to decide which game to play. He thought Whack-A-Mole seemed fun because he could maliciously pound innocent creatures in the head with a large object of sorts. He would name each of the moles~ One would be Edaurd, one would be Raivis, one would be Toris and the rest would be Alfred.

Giggling to himself, he happily trotted over to the game, completely over looking the horrific scene that was going on with the Axis duo.

As he trotted, he passed the plastic castle that Arthur and Alfred were playing space travel in. He noticed Alfred was pounding on the glass, shouting and looking straight at Ivan.

"Yeeeah! Who's in space now, bitch?! Your jealous ass gonna be crying later!!"

The Russian smiled because he faintly heard the American's smack talk.

Fuck it, he'd name all the moles after Alfred.

Meanwhile, Yao was sitting in the dining/theater part of the arcade. He was trying to enjoy cardboard quality pizza with Kiku while they watched funny robotic characters dance and sing on stage. To be honest, they were rather frightening.

"Yaoi, how has your day been?" Kiku asked politely.

Yao glanced at him quickly. "What did you call me, aru?"

Kiku looked startled. "Yao. I called you by your name, Yao."

"Aaiyoo! I heard something different, aru~ It was probably just my hearing failing me for a second there, aru!"

The curtains closed as an awkward silence befell the two Azns. Then, when the curtains reopened all the Chuck E. Cheese creatures were gone and instead, Shinatty was in the center of the stage.

Yao's jaw dropped and he stared at the gorgeous monster of a cat.

Kiku developed a look of disgust and nervously dumped salt onto his pizza until it was a small mound. Then he opened his mouth wide and ate the slice whole, salt and everything.

Yao jumped out of his chair. God, he could get NAKED for Shinatty! He ran up the stairs to the stage and onto the platform. "Shinarry, aru~!" He cried blissfully as he jumped at Shinatty.

However, Shinatty didn't catch him and Yao fell to the floor with a thud.

Instead, Shinatty began to dirty dance against a pole that had conveniently appeared in the center of the stage.

By this point, Kiku was dumping the entire contents of the salt shaker into his mouth.

Francis was naked, but what's news? He was happily bathing in a pool of colorful balls. Not human balls, but plastic balls, of course...

He had a wonderful glass of grape soda (it was all they had there) in his hand and a porno in his other. Currently, he was wondering how America's ass fit through the opening to the play fort.

"Ludwig! That game was scary I dont want to play anymore!" Feliciano had a towel and was kindly wiping the German's face dry.

Ludwig began to wonder if there was a single game they could play that his Italian bed partner couldn't destory or harm anyone with on accident. One would assume it would easy to figure out, after all, a arcade built for kids MUST be relativly safe, right?

Ludwig had to rack his brain. Well, there was always the game where the light jumped around to different bulbs and you had to mash a bigger button to make it stop; whatever number bulb it stopped on, you got that many tickets.

Of course! Feliciano couldn't possible go wrong with that.

"Follow me," Ludwig instructed as he lead the Italian over to the harmless game.

BONK! BONK BONK BONK!

That noise caught Feliciano's attention! He looked around and spotted Ivan enthusiastically smashing the heads of small brown creatures. Gasping in horror, Feliciano ran over there. "What are you doing! They'll die!!!!"

Ivan was in the zone so he really didn't hear Feliciano. Ludwig, however, sighed and marched over there. "Listen Feliciano, they aren't real."

"What are they?" The shorter man asked inquisitively.

"Moles."

"Do they belong to Austria?" the Italian asked innocently.

"...Vat? No! Oh, god, no!" Ludwig gasped in horror. "Not that kind of mole!!"

Ivan's machine was shitting out tickets by the second and he was getting hornier and hornier. He dropped the mallet to the ground as he breathed heavily and deeply. A sinister smiling creeping upon his lips, he made his way over to the 'space shuttle.' Meanwhile, Ludwig dragged Feli over to the safe game, despite how much the kid protested that he wanted to 'smash Austria's moles.'

Kiku ran out of the theater area so fast he nearly flew into the soda fountain. In what looked like a blind rage, he ripped the top off and started scooping handfuls of soda into his mouth and chugging it quicker than he could chug semen.

Yao, feeling dejected after Shinatty denied him a hug, broke out in some sick Chinese rap wile Shinatty made up some phat beats.

"Yo, yo, yo, aru! What name is on they back of yo shit? 'Made in China' that's it, aru! So next time yall wanna blast my Communism, remember that MY SHIT IS REAAAAL, aru!"

"Intruder!" Arthur hollered to an oblivious Alfred.

Jerking around to face the entrance of the shuttle, Alfred spotted a giant alien life form of sorts. "Alien! Oh my god an alien! Bring out the alien blastor guns!!"

"Alfred," Ivan said in a low growl.

"It knows my name!! It knows my name!"

Arthur frantically searched the small area for equipment that wasn't there.

"Alfred, come over here and let Mother hurt you good."

"Whoooa, this alien is coming onto me, Cockland."

Aruthur began to zap Ivan with an imaginary laser gun. "It's not working! Equipment malfunction!! Bloody hell!"

Ivan grabbed Arthur and threw him out of the 'shuttle.'

Arthur slide down the various tubes of the castle of sorts and landed in the pit of colorful balls.

"Ah, bonjour, mon cheri~"

"Sod off! There is an aggressive alien up there and from the sounds of it, he's eating my partner alive!" Arthur noted as he mistook Alfred's cries of pleasure for cries of pain.

Francis threw a ball at Arthur's face. Arthur blinked. "What the bloody hell was that for?!"

"Balls in your face."

"Excuse me?"

"Let me put my ouioui in your nonnon-hole."

Arthur thought for a moment. Should he have sex with the hairy Frenchman in a pit of balls that children would mostly likely be frolicking in the next day?

"I'm not Spain."

With that, the pissy Brit strutted out of the pit and left Francis to wonder how Ivan's ass fit through the opening to the play fort.

Matthew was playing air hockey all by himself because no one really noticed him. That didn't matter because he was so damn good at air hockey that he could play an intense, heated game with himself.

"Let me play, bitch." Kumajiro suggested as he walked up to the table.

"Only if you can tell me my name," Matt huffed.

"You're...." Kumajiro was stumped.

"Aha! You can't do it, can you?" the Canadian pouted bitterly. "Well then you're no--"

"You are Matthew Williams. Some people consider you Alfred's brother. Some even consider you his twin brother. Other don't think you are related. Most people agree that you are Francis's or Arthur's son of sorts. People like to make you top Alfred for some god awful reason."

Matthew stared at Kumijiro and was much too stunned to speak. "...t-that wasn't supposed to happen."

"Stop whining and start up a new game."

Huffily, Arthur decided that since Alfred was probably dead and that he didn't want to have get semen all over children's toys, he might as well wash up and get some pizza.

As he was heading for the bathroom, a speeding Kiku rushed passed and ran into the restroom. Kiku practically flew into the wall but quickly stopped himself and tore off his pants and underwear faster than he would if there was a naked man within ten feet of him.

Ludwig was very pleased to see that Feliciano was doing quite well at the button mashing, blinking lights game! All the flashing lights must have stimulated his senses and caused his brain to work or something.

"Ludwig! Look at all the tickets!" Feli exclaimed as he munched a piece of pizza that he held in one hand and smashed the button his other.

"Wunderbar!" Ludwig exclaimed as he slid more tokens into the machine.

"Ludwig, can you get me a drink? I'll keep winning lots while you're gone!"

Ludwig gave the cute Italian a salute as he headed for the soft drink fountain. Odd, there were puddles of soda all over the floor and the top to the machine was missing....

Matthew made a run for it. Kumajiro had just informed him that the American police were onto him and were heading to Chuck E. Cheese to arrest him for the copious amounts of pot he had lying around his house. Frantically, he hopped onto a small motorbike looking vehicle, the kind that little kids would be forced to pretend to ride so parents could take pictures.

Hitting the gas, Matthew floored it. Well, he would have if it were real. "They'll never get me!"

Drink in hand, Ludwig walked back to Feliciano only to find a giant pile of tickets and no Itaian boy to be seen.

"...."

Then, a hand emerged from the pile of tickets. Slowly, Feliciano pulled himself out of the lump and gasped for breath. "Ludwig!" He cried. "It broke! I was so good that I broke it! It wont stop making tick--" he fell back into the pile of ticket because hundreds more where shooting out of the machine each minute.

Ludwig dropped the drink and dramatically ran over to his lover.

"Feliciano!" He cried as he stared in horror at the massive piles of tickets.

There was no reply; not even a sound came from the buried Italian. Ludwig knew what he must then do. Taking a deep breath, he dove into the treacherous heap of tickets.

When Arthur got out of the bathroom, Kiku still wasn't done pissing.

Sighing, the Englishman took a seat where Kiku and Yao previously had. There were still some slices left on the pan so he took one and bit into it.

"This...is quite good!" He noted as the pizza melted into cardboard tasting goodness in his mouth.

Yao got bored with rapping so he hopped off the stage and decided to go and play a game. But which one? Yao could hear some strange form of sex going on from somewhere within the play fort, Francis was inside the ball pit so that definitely wasn't safe, Matthew looked like he was crazily trying to run his pretend motorcycle into a wall, Kiku was still pissing and Ludwig and Feliciano were no where to be found.

So Yao decided to play the in game in which you throw balls at an incline with different holes in it and depending on which hole the ball fell into determined how many points you got.

Meanwhile, Francis was wondering why so many games involved balls and holes.

Yao was doing fine. He was racking up a good number of tickets until something strange happened. As he was about to throw another ball, a small creature emerged from one of the holes. It was---

"Kitty-chan!" Yao cried in surprise as a miniature, Japanese!Hello Kitty looked him in the eyes. "Oh, but Kitty-chan...your mouth is gone, aru~!" Even so, Yao thought this was all quite wonderful until the cat started throwing balls at him.

"Kitty-chan! Stop it, aru~!" He cried as he shielded his body from being pelted by very solid balls. He took off in a desperate sprint to safety.

"URAHHH!" Ludwig grunted as he heroically lifted him and Feliciano out of the mass of tickets. He set the dazed Feliciano on the ground and quickly sprung into action, for he knew it would happen again if he didn't stop the machine. He kicked the machine harshly, so harshly that it sounded like it hurt. Still, Ludwig persevered and continued to kick the machine as it slowly began to die.

Just then, the battle cry of a sexy Japanese man was heard and in the blink of an eye, Kiku had whipped out his sword and sliced the machine into 16746813 different equal pieces.

Ludwig let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you, Kiku."

"Hai," was all he said along with a small bow.

"Ludwig, Ludwig!" The Italian, now perfectly conscious, cried out excitedly. "Let's buy prizes with all these tickets!"

"Aaah, it's stuck," Ivan grunted.

"Because it's so damn big," Alfred replied.

The Russian squirmed. "It was fine when I came in, but now it won't let me leave..."

"Like I said, you're really big."

"Alfred...did you make the hole shrink?"

Alfred gawked at him. "How would I be able to do that? It's all because of your child bearing hips."

Ivan squirmed some more and panted and maybe even grunted here and there.

Francis was starting to wonder why he had a boner even though they were only talking Ivan getting stuck in the entrance to the fort.

Matthew hopped off the motorcycle and dove into the ball pit, too scared to notice Francis. He did notice him however, when he felt something warm brush against his hip.

"Matthew~" Francis purred.

Matthew wheezed. "I-I don't have any!"

"Don't have any what?"

"A-am I in prison?"

"A prisoner to love? Maybe~ Do I captivate you?"

Matthew wheezes. "I didn't do it! I didn't have any! I-It was...a doctor prescription herbal remedy!!"

"The more you resist, the hotter I burn for you~"

Matthew gasped. He knew the only way to save himself was to fake a suicide. He plunged down into the pit of balls.

"Okay, I'll pull," Alfred suggested as he took hand of Ivan's hands. Then a pattern was created; Alfred pulled, Ivan wiggled and they both panted and grunted.

"H-harder?"

"Da, harder!!"

"Unnngggh!"

"It's coming! I can feel it coming~!"

"Great!" Alfred panted.

"Just a bit harder!"

As they both let out a long, drawn out moangrunt of sorts, Ivan broke free and they both toppled to the ground.

Francis sniffled and sipped his grape soda.

"Kiku!" Yao huffed as he stormed over to the Japanese man. "Your Kitty-chan tried to hurt me, aru~!"

"Perhaps Kitty-chan has a reason to want to break your face," Kiku replied calmly as he sipped a cup of green tea and watched a little program on one of the arcade's TVs.

"Aiyooo! What you meaning by that, aru?!"

"I am only advocating for Hello Kitty. None of my personal feelings are involved in what I'm saying, and I'm saying that perhaps there's a good reason why Hello Kitty wanted to watch you bleed and die."

Yao was quite horrified. "Why would Kitty-chan do that? What reason does she have, aru?"

"Every reason."

"Alfred!" Arthur gasped as he spotted the man who he believed was eaten alive by a Russian alien. He ran over to the table the two were seated at. "My god, I thought you were dead!" He glanced over at Ivan. "And you have tamed the alien life form?"

"Had sex with it, too."

Arthur slapped his partner on the back proudly. "Good job, my boy!"

"Word," Alfred grinned then started shoving his face full with pizza.

Arthur was strangely turned on by that, but was distracted because he felt someonthing tapping his leg.

Turning around, he saw no one. "That's odd--"

"Mutha fuckaaaaaaaaa!"

Arthur's eye widened as he looked down and spotted Tony.

"Another alien life form!" He gasped.

"Biiiiitch, I'll cut you UP, YEEEEEEEE!" Tony threw up his arms in a gangsterish manner.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "This one is quite the prick, and to be honest, I cant understand most of what he's saying."

"Limey ho."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, trick."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? Alfred, do you hear this beast?"

"Imnmngg hthinkmmnngfffhh he'smnhhgfghdf funny!"

"Now I can't understand you!"

"You wanna go?" The alien continued to harass, which was a good distraction because Ivan had just started to lick pizza sauce off Alfred's face.

"Go? No, I dont think I'd like to go anywhere with y--"

"Mmmmn. Talkin' smack."

"Do you realize that nothing you say makes sense?"

Tony made a peace sign. "I'm out."

Before he could walk out, hop into his Escalade and go clubin', one of Arthur's unicorns smashed in through the roof and started beating the crap out of Tony.

Arthur was the only one who saw this, though.

Ludwig looked around. Hadn't Feliciano been right next to him just a second ago? Where on earth was he now...

Yao had pressured Kiku into talking with Hello Kitty to try and calm her down and prevent her from hurting the Chinese man any further.

"Herro Kitty," Kiku greeted with a slight bow.

Hello Kitty didn't speak, she merely twirled around.

"It seems our plans have failed. Next time, however, I except you to do it right the first time."

Hello Kitty bobbed her head from side to side.

"Wakarimasuka?"

Hello Kitty pulled out a tiny machine gun from behind her back and Kiku smiled.

It was so odd. Francis couldn't find Matthew. Logically speaking, there was really no way for Matthew to evade France like that. Even if did see France, balls were not like water where one could swim freely and easily away from danger. And besides, France could lunge pretty well.

Tired of failing to find his future sex toy, he stepped out of the ball pit still naked. Then he started to wonder why the place was beginning to fill with smoke.

Feliciano ran out of the kitchen and started sobbing. "LUDWIG! LUDWIG!"

Ludwig caught the panicking Italian in his arms. "W-what happened? Why is there smoke everywhere?!"

"I-I-I-I was cooking pasta a-a-and a stove EXPLODED! WAAAAAAH!"

"W-what? It exploded?!"

"It's all on FIREEEE!"

Ludwig knew what he had to do. He ran back over to the water gun game. But...he hadn't any tokens!

"Quick!! SOMEONE GET ME SOME TOKENS!!"

Yao, who had been content with playing pinball in the corner, spun around. "Over here, aru!" He pulled a few coins from his pocket and threw them across the room, launching them at Germany.

But they weren't going to make it because Yao was all the way on the other side of the room! Both Ludwig and Yao gawked in horror as the coins began to fall towards the floor in slow motion.

Kiku quickly ran towards the coins and dove with his sword out, letting them ricochet off the flat side of his weapon. That was enough a push to send the coins flying back towards Ludwig. Now the only thing left was to catch them!

Ludwig extended his arm, opened his fist and clenched his teeth as he golden coins appeared above his head. When he thought he had them, he closed his fist and shut his eyes.

A few seconds passed and Yao and Kiku both stared intensely at Ludwig, waiting for an answer. All around them, smoke consumed the room and mini fires were beginning to spread.

Ludwig opened his fist, looked in his hand and...

Victory!!

Quickly, he popped the coins into the machine and started up the game. He sprayed that stream of water at the target so passionately and furiously, he was sweating. (Or maybe it was because the place was burning to the ground.)

Then, he reached the top and the buzzer sounded. Everyone mistook this for the much needed fire alarm and began to dash for the exit.

In the panic, Arthur frantically hopped on his unicorn as the creature pranced to safety. Tony jumped on Alfred's back and Alfred jumped on Ivan's back. One of Francis' chest hairs caught fire and he desperately tried to put it out as he stumbled to the doors. Ludwig carried a sobbing Feliciano bridal style as he charged for the escape.

Yao was running to the exit when Hello Kitty tripped him and he toppled over. "Aah!"

Kiku stopped to turn around and see his neighbor on the ground, unable to move.

"G-go on without me, aru!"

Kiku thought for a moment. He could let Yao die here and get what he wanted but...did he really want Yao to die? Did he really want it to end like this?

"No, Yaoi."

"W-what did you call me?"

Everyone was safety outside. All they could do was look back at the burning building in sorrow and horror. Felicino randomly searched through his bag of prizes and pulled out a mini lava lamp. That could keep him occupied for hours.

"Where are Kiku and Yao?!" Ludwig gasped once he realized they were missing.

Everyone looked intensely at the collapsing building but there were no Asians to be found.

Feliciano was close to tears. "I don't want Kiku to die..."

Arthur looked down sadly. "Who...who am I going to argue with over opium now?"

France cried. Not because Yao, but because of his singed chest hairs.

Silence befell the group, until suddenly...

"Look!" Feliciano piped up excitedly, pointing to the entrance.

There was Kiku, carrying Yao on his back and emerging from the burning building.

Everyone cheered. But then the building exploded and Kiku and Yao were sent flying.

They both smashed into the ground and rolled over to where their friends were.

"KIKUUUU!" Feliciano cried and wrapped his arms around his panting friend, pulling him into a tight hug. Japan was too tired to care.

"You okay, man?" Alfred asked as he knelled down.

Yao stared up at the the sky. "Yes..." He sat up and looked over at Kiku who looked back at him. They didn't say anything, but Yao smiled and Kiku's eyes softened a bit and that was enough for both of them.

The eight of them walked off, their childhood memory of Chuck E. Cheese burning away behind them. Would they ever forget? No, but sometimes it's true that the more you long for the past, the more depressed you become.

"Sooo," Alfred started. "Wanna get shit faced?"

"Oh, bloody fuck yes!"

"Oui! I have a sorrow that needs drowning..."

"Daa~ I'll drink lots of vodka so we can have fun later~"

"I suppose I could use it, aru..."

"Hai. Thank you, America-san, for so kindly suggesting such a wonderful idea."

"Yes! After all that, I can definitely down ten beers or so!"

"Ludwig, Ludwig!! This lava lamp tastes really good!"

****

Matthew opened his eyes slowly. His head was heavy and fuzzy.

"Uggghh..." he groaned. "W-where am I? Did I...die?"

"We're gonna go to Candy Mountain~!"

"Yeeeeeeeeah~!"

And it was then that Matthew realized that the bottom of the ball pit lead to an alternate universe.

"...Fuck."

[[ sims 2 ]] victory!

2010-02-12T03:22:50Z

The Axis Powers moved in with the Allied Forces yay

Mmyeah, I got all eight of them to move in! So right now I have 16/28 Sims in the house. =3

That's a sexy face he's got.

China and South Korea eat Chinese food WITH THEIR HANDS?
What is this shit.

Whoa! Um...whoa. Interesting ass you have there, France.

Look at that magnificent limp wrist. Only a true homosexual could pull that off....

As soon as Japan gets into the house, he starts cleaning.
What a housewife.

Germany: *STARE* BRUDER YOU'RE ALIVE...?
Prussia: Fuckin yeah, bitch

Russia is okay with sexual harassment

GERMANY HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?

You can't see it well because Prussia's fat ass is in the way, but America punched England.
America: I JUST WENT YORKTOWN ON YO SORRY ASS

Prussia: And then I saw it...an angelic figure coming down from the heavens to grace me with his beauty. When he had disappeared, I realized I had been looking a mirror the whole time...

Prussia's enlightenment face is very srs.
(Those things on his eyebrow are piercings by the way...)

Japan admiring SK?!
MIND FUCK WAS INVENTED IN KOREA.

TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS DAMN ROOM.

AUSTRIA...YOUR BABY FAT...IT HAS RETURNED...

Italy is outside all alone.
He doesn't seem to mind though.

They finally cleared out of the living room.

Japan watches TV with his butt buddies.
Greece is having fun.

Everyone else is outside being a dumbass.

Prussia: I wonder how hard I would have to throw this ball at his crotch in order to bust his nuts. SCHIESSE, WHY DID I ALWAYS SKIP PHYSICS?

This bad boy thinks he's a stuka.

China and Austria: Patty cake, patty cake...

UR DOING IT WRONG

They're playing catch in sync =O

Japan: America-san, your jeans are in the way of my viewing pleasure

Ohoho.

America: DAMNIT YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS A WESTERN, NOT HORROR *anguish*

*The Ring girl licks the screen*
America: GAH FUCK IT ALL

What the hell is this.

Austria: So I heard you were green...I'm pretty green, myself

Bullseye because Canada pinned an imaginary picture of America on the board.

China.
Will karate chop Austria in the gut.

Or Kung Fu kick him in the balls. Not like Austria has any or anything.

Japan: You're a dashing man.
Prussia: I know it.

Oh yeah.

Austria: Play Patty Cake with me, England. China was stoopid and didn't do it right =(

Canada talking to his son, Prince Edward Island.
LOL his face...
He finally forgot his own name.

There goes an angry Washington D.C. He came in the house to try and fight China or some shit. What a nutter.

*hiding shame aru*

....Alright then.

The War of 1812.

England: THAT WAS MY EYE YOU WANKER
Prussia: lol

The infectious Patty Cake Syndrome

Austria: -badtouches-

CHINA WENT BLACK.
AND DOESN'T PLAN ON GOING BACK.
Just kidding. He does plan on going back.

MOE MOE CHUUGOKU

It's okay, Greece.

Dammit, Greece.

Dammit, England.

Dammit, Prussia.

Italy: =7= Alcohol hell yes

And I end with this:

Who wants a piece of this sweet thang? Only 20 dorra an hour.

Get him now while he's AIDS free.

[[ sims 2 ]] um...i dont know

2010-02-05T02:29:04Z

So I dont have a new computer, but I do have Sims and 'all' of my CC back. I mean, it's obvious from looking at the FrUK picture.

So my goal is to get all my Sims (Allies, Axis, Baltic, Nordics ) living in the same house. The house is gonna be filled with 28 or so Sims. That might kill my computer.

I'm hoping it doesnt. Do any of you have experience with large households? I hope it doesnt lag like fuck. If it does, back to the Allies exclusive household for me. It would be a shame not to be able to do this plan, but ya know, shit happens.

Sorry that you had to read through my dumb entry. I'm just really gonna be hoping that everything works fine.

To compensate for the 2 minutes of life you lost while reading this non-funny shit, I give you this:

I dont even....

[[ sims 2 ]] every end is a new beginning

2010-01-30T19:12:31Z

So today I mourn the death of my Sims game. I'm not going to go into details, but the game and all my data is gone. But I have to be optimistic. I'm getting a new computer in a couple of weeks and it'll run the game faster so at least I can get all my stuff back in less the time and lag.

Um, yeah. So I decided to make a post highlighting the funniest pictures I've taken over the course of my Hetalia Sims adventures. Most you will have already seen if you read my other posts. I would have added new material but my folders are gone so I can't. =D How fantastic is that?!

break down of pcitures ;;

- Sexy moments
- Crying /rage moments
- WTF moments
- Pregnant/baby moments
- Other

S E X B O M B Y O U R E A S E X B O M B

Den and NorNor was getting freaky deaky in a bed. Outside. In the backyard.

Yeah, they were all being gay in the bathroom while Meri was all nakie. 8D

China was giving his and Canada's child (Prince Edward Island) 'the talk'

America: OKAY, I'M HERE TO HELP WITH THE DEMONSTRATION
China: THERE IS NO DEMONSTRATION ARU.

Creating earth shaking orgasms

SCANDALOUS FRANCE IS SCANDALOUS

Russia is a rapemachine.

A common buttsex pose for America.

A common buttsex pose for France.

France shakes his ass as he explains to Canada that he doesnt like vagina.

DATE RAEP.

America gets cummed on and likes it.

France approaching next victim.

America is srsly shakin' it

France: I HOLD MY PENIS LIKE A ROCKER HOLDS A GUITAR BECAUSE PRO

Oh Itaria bby....

Nawghty nawghty

IDK ITS SEXY....

Nawghty nawghty

Dat ass.

Russia's squeezin' a little too hard don't you think...but America loves it.
The torture that makes Lithuania cry makes America LAUGH. When Lithuania is all, "PLEASE STOP IT MR.RUSSIA!" America says, "HARDER YOU FUCKING COMMIE."

I'm sending this screen shot into Studio Deen along with a highly pursausive letter that will convice them to include the Russia/America wedding in the movie
Only not really

~~Innocent~~ bystander watches as Greece gets ready to pounce Japan.

Japan's only regret is that he forgot the sex toys

Nawghty nawghty

Japan: Why do I always fell rike horny honry 5 dorra...

Romano: Boss, what's that constellation look like?
Spain: Tomato
Romano: You said that last time, fgt =(

Prussia: *BADTOUCHES*
Japan: *squeal* <3

More sexual assault.
PRUSSIA DOESNT KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

Spain: Heeeeeey baby
Prussia: WHOA, WHOA. BACK THE FUCK UP.

Yes.

I dont know how Austria topped, but he did.

HELLO.

Nawghty nawghty
~~I should stop saying that...~~

WHOA BUDDY. YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN, THERE....

And alas, the France sex spree unfolds!

R A E G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G G

FRANCE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF RUSSIA HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE....

Lithuania: GGGRRR, FGT.

Italy stealing the Allie's newspaper out of butthurt.

France rape face.

There are no words that can explain this one.

That is how the Cold War really happened.

Watch now as the USSR falls apart.

America is crying too.

No one really cares, though.

Canada: YOU TRYNA FIGHT THIS, EH?!

This has nothing to do with 1939. Nothing.

What is this I don't even...

RUSSIA MAD. RUSSIA FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.

Prussia: WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING. I SAID "BOW" AND I MEANT IT *rages*

Prussia: OH WIENER SCHNITZEL

Nobody cares about your problems, Austria.

Yours either, Vash.

O M G W T F B B Q ? N O ? I T H O U G H T S O . . .

Oh my gaaaawd.

Um, yea--no. >l

China's signature 'FACE OF THE DRUNKEN LLAMA'

England doesn't do much lulz worthy stuff....

China, on the other hand....

Germany blowing a kiss.
The funny thing is, I can totally see him doing this in the manga.

Yikes!

Greece: AAAH....AM I AWAKE?
Japan: ....

I don't have many other WTF moments. *crai*

A R E Y O U M Y M O M M Y ?

Norway and Denmark and their lovely baby, Oslo. 8D

By the way, these are all natural pregnancies, obviously. xD I used a game mod bed to allow male-to-male pregnancy.

RUSSIA'S GONNA BE A DADDY AWWWW.

America giving birth and England raging in the background.
BECAUSE HE WISHES THE BABY WAS HIS.

Awwwwww~!

I named the kids Alaska and D.C. <3

China got Canada pregnant SAY WHAT?

RUSSIA'S PREGNANT TOO.

Say hello to Siberia.
and yes. America IS in a cowboy outfit.

France thinks the baby is his. >l

NOW IM GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT THEIR BABIES LOOK LIKE, EVEN THOUGH YALL PROBABLY DONT CARE 8D

Washing D.C.
Mother: America
Father: Russia

Alaska
Mother: America
Father: Russia

Ontario
Mother: Canada
Father: China

Prince Edward Island
Mother: America
Father: Russia

Siberia
Mother: Russia
Father: America

Oslo
Mother: Norway
Father: Denmark

THE END

[[ Cold War FST ]] Friction

2010-01-20T22:33:50Z

Another FST? Why do I bother?
I'm so passionate about Russia/America though <3 *sighs dreamily*

Download link: HERE

^ INCLUDES A MEGA SUPER AWESOME BONUS SONG
Playlist.com link: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/18793094923
Warnings: Profanity

I. Time Is Running Out - Muse

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

You're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me

II. Lose Control -Evanescence

Mary had a lamb
his eyes black as coals
if we play very quiet, my lamb
Mary never has to know

just once in my life
I think it'd be nice
just to lose control- just once

if I cut you down to a thing I can use
I fear there will be nothing good left of you

III. Cold- Evans Blue

Hello, I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster
can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your back
when you hide, hide inside that body
but just remember that when I touch you
the more you shake, the more you give away

cold, but I'm still here, blind, 'cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we're far from obvious this time

You broke me from the very first night
I'd love you 'til the day that I die

IV. Bleed It Out - Linkin Park

Yeah here we go for the hundred time
Hand grenade pins in every line
Throw 'em up and let something shine
Going out of my fucking mind

Mama help me I've been cursed
Death is rolling in every verse
Candy paint on his brand new Hearse
Can't contain him he knows he works

Fuck this hurts, I won't lie
Doesn't matter how hard I try
Half the words don't mean a thing
And I know that I won't be satisfied

V. Kiss Me Kill Me - Mest

One, two, three
A tragedy that's built on destiny
It left you with everything but
Blood from the knife that I cut your heart out with
Now relax, close your eyes, what comes next is the surprise

This valentine is doomed
The smell of blood has filled this room
If I could do it all again
I would change most every single thing

I would let you

Kiss me
Kill me
Your kiss is torture
But killing me would be too easy

VI. Never Wanted to Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence

There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself

Never wanted to dance with nobody but you--
wouldn't take "no" for an answer, you fucking bitch

Be nice to me,
Don't let me go

VII. I Dont Care - Apocalyptica

I try to make it through my life
In my way
There is you
I try to make it through these lies
That’s all I do

You tried to break me
You wanna break me
Bit by bit
That’s just part of it

I try to make you see my side
Always trying to stay in line
But you’re eyes see right through
That’s all they do
Im getting tired of this shit
I got no room when it's like this
But if you wanted me just deal with it

VIII. Blood - My Chemical Romance

Well they encourage your complete cooperation
Send you roses when they think you need to smile
I can't control myself because I don't know how
And they love me for it honestly I'll be here for a while

I gave you blood, blood
Gallons of the stuff
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough
I gave you blood, blood, blood
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!

IX. Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes
‘Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave this alone
You're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe
You can watch me corrode
Like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
Your kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

X. Stitches - Orgy

Rolling dice and seeming queer
Bastard love,a sick affair
Let's see what new disease you'll fetch
I mean that fucking you is strange
And adored by me throughout
Oh no it's you again
Blessing you with every kiss

So precious you know this hate of mine exploded
I'm so deranged you know
I will never be the same

Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause your the death of me
So precious loving the thrill

XI. Getting Away With Murder - Papa Roach

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
what creates my own madness
And I'm addicted to your punishments
And your the master
And I am waiting for disaster

I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth I am,
Getting away with murder

XII. The Undertaker - Puscifier

Thank you for making me
feel like I am guilty.
Making it... easy to...
murder your sweet memory.

You were way out of line,
went and turned it all around on me again.
How can I not smell your lie
through the smoke and arrogance?

But, now I know.
So, you will not get away with it again.
I'm distant in those hollow eyes
for I have reached my end.

XIII. I Can't Decide - Sissor Sisters

It's not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don't four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells-like something I've forgotten
Curled up died and now it's rotten

I'm not a gangster tonight
Don't want to be a bad guy
I'm just a loner baby
And now you're gotten in my way

I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

XIV. Spaceman - The Killers

And you know I might
Have just flown too far from the floor this time
Cause they're calling me by my name
And the zipping white light beams
disregarding bombs and satellites
Oh that was the turning point,
That was one lonely night

The star maker says it ain't so bad
The dream maker's gonna make you mad
The spaceman says everybody look down
It's all in your mind

XV. Polygraph Right Now - The Spill Canvas

Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore
She loves salting my wounds
Yes, she enjoys nothing more
I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now
I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel encrusted crown

According to you we don't click,
that's a blatant lie and you know it
Angel, what are you hiding from me?
If there is truly another secret lunch-break,
working late lover
then I would die, but at least then I'd be free

XVI. My Obsession - Skillet

Your touch, your ways
Leave me dumb without reason
Your love, my cage
My prison so pleasing
I spend my days
Tangled in thoughts of you
Stuck in this place
Resigned to be your fool

I thirst no longer
Drenching my soul
Pour out like water

You're my only infatuation
Don't leave me stranded
In my obsession
My purpose, my possession
Live and die in my obsession
My obsession

XVII. Cut Up Angels - The Used

If we cut out the bad
Well then we'd have nothing left
Like I cut up your mouth
The night I stuffed it all in
And you lied to the angels
Said I stabbed you to death
If we go at the same time
They'll clean up the mess

I lost my head
You couldn't come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun

XVIII. Goin' Down - Three Days Grace

Take it down to the basement
You look around round round
And we sit there in scilence
I watch you go down down down

I feel like I'm flying
I've got my head in the clouds
Never though I was crazy
Until you came around

You're going down
You're going down down
You walk all over me
You never thought I'd be
The one who's laughing now
Now that you're going down

c r e d i t s ; ;

Cover design (c) BAD @ Miserable & Stunning

Cover art (c) http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=1364607
Back cover art (c) http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=404285

Textures from:
http://community.livejournal.com/the_preamble/
http://joyfulsong.livejournal.com/
http://myannarose.livejournal.com/

All music (c) respective owners

[[ Hetalia FST ]] KNOW THE ENEMY

2010-01-02T21:15:00Z

Cover design by me

Theme: "All-fitting". Songs that do not describe a single character but could be fit many different characters, a group of characters, or the entire Hetalia cast as a whole.

Moods: Some serious, happy, fun, bad ass, angry...
Rating: PG13 for language
Number of tracks: 53

All these songs should play fine in any media player and should be able to be added to your iPod.

Sorry, the album art is included in the .rar file. I didn't know it did that.
I'm also sorry about the last few seconds of Pork and Beans. I dont know...

Download links:
Part One: 1-26 ( includes two different versions of track 14)
Part Two: 27-52

o1. Know Your Enemy - Green Day
Violence is an energy
Against the enemy
Well violence is an energy, right.

Bringing on the fury
The choir infantry
Revolt against the honor to obey (Ohaooh)

Overthrow the effigy
The vast majority
We're burning down the foreman of control (Ohaooh)

Silence is the enemy
Against your urgency
so rally up the demons of your soul (Ohaooh)

Do you know the enemy
Do you know your enemy
well gotta know the enemy, ohaooh.

o2. Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance
Well you can hide a lot about yourself,
But honey, what're you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin,
But the past ain't through with you.

'Cause we are all a bunch of liars.
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it,
'Cause it's tragic with a capital T.
Let it be, Let it be, Let it be!

'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends.
And we all get together when we bury our friends.
It's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face.
And you're walking away, and I will die in this place.

o3. The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand
Some say ya troubled boy
Just because you like to destroy
All the things that bring the idiots joy
Well,
What's wrong with a little destruction?

So we stole and drank champagne
On the seventh seal you said you never feel pain
"And I never feel pain, won't you hit me again?"
"I need a bit of black and blue to be a rotation"

Yeah,
You've already been,
You've already seen
That the fallen are the virtuous among us
Walk among us
Oh if you judge us,
We're all damned.

o4. Gives You Hell - All American Rejects
I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

o5. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on

Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing 'cause I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there, now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs and I'm under each snare

Intangible, bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view, look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose, sit and lose, all you different crews
Chicks and dudes, who you think is really kickin' tunes?

o6. Viva la Vida - Coldplay
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

o7. End - My Chemical Romance
Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry

C'mon C'mon C'mon I said
(Save me!) Get me the hell out of here
(Save me!) Too young to die and my dear
(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and
(Take me!)

o8. Dont You Know Who I Think I Am - Fall Out Boy
They say quitters never win
But we walk the plank on a sinking ship
There's a world outside of my front door
That gets off on being down

I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all
And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself

We only want to sing you to sleep
In your bedroom speakers, whoa
We need umbrellas on the inside
Get us right

o9. Thriller - Fall Out Boy
I can take your problems away
with a nod and a wave
of my hand, cause that's just the kind of boy
That I am.
Only thing I've ever done that is good
And it's free and my password in the after life
I was the one
was the one who made all our heats beat all in time

So long live the car-crash heart
Lie on the couch till the poets come to life
Fix me in 45

1o. Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

11. Holiday - Green Day
Sieg Heil to the president Gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives

This is our lives on holiday

12. I Dont Care - Fall Out Boy
Say my name and his in the same breath
I dare you to say they taste the same
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let december glow in flames

Brace myself and let go
Start it over again in Mexico
These friends they dont love you
They just love the hotel suites, now

I dont care what you think
Just as long as its about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery

13. Pork and Beans - Weezer
Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and i'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think

14. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, how low?

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been

And always will until the end

15. Zombie - Miser (I prefer this version over the original) caution : a bit loud

It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen.
In your head, in your head they're still fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are dying...

16. How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20
Waking up at the start of the end of the world,
But it's feeling just like every other morning before,
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come

17. 27 - Fall Out Boy
If 'home is where the heart is'
Then we're all just fucked
I can't remember

And I want it so bad
I'd shoot the sunshine into my veins
I can't remember the good old days

And it's kind of funny
The way we're wearing anchors on our shirts
When being anchored aboard just feels like a curse

My mind is a safe
And if I keep it then we all get rich
My body is an orphanage
'We take everyone in'
Doing lines of dust and sweat
Off last night's stage
Just to feel like you

18. Folkin' Around - Panic! At the Disco
If i've forgotten how to sing
Before I sung this song
I'll write it all across this wall
Before my job is done
And I'll even have the courtesy
Of admitting I was wrong
As the final words before I'm dead and gone

You've never been so divine
In accepting your defeat
And I've never been more scared to be alone
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep
Then I'm putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home

19. Soldier Side - System of a Down
Dead man lying on the bottom of the grave
Wondering when Savior comes
Is he gonna be saved

Maybe you're a sinner into your alternate life
Maybe you're a joker maybe you deserve to die

They were crying when their sons left
God is wearing black
He's gone so far to find no hope
He's never coming back
They were crying when their sons left
All young men must go
He's come so far to find the truth
He's never going home

2o. What Happens Tomorrow - Duran Duran
Fighting, because we're so close
There are times we punish those who we need the most
No, we can't wait for a saviour
Only got ourselves to blame for this behaviour

And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow
We try not to show how frightened we are
Would seem lonely, if you were the only star in the night

You've got to believe
it'll be alright in the end

21. Here it Goes Again - Ok Go
I guess there's got to be a break in the monotony, but Jesus, when it rains how it pours.
Throw on your clothes, the second side of Surfer Rosa, and you leave me, yeah, you leave me.

Just when you think that you're in control,
just when you think that you've got a hold,
just when you get on a roll,
here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again.
I should have known,
should have known,
should have known again,
but here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again.

22. Broken Glass Syndrome - Halifax
I did everything you did to me to you
But I’m out of ammunition
So I’ll take these words and fire them into your chest
Find a new place for them to rest
Seize up your insides, tearing your flesh
Open up and let them in

I’ll write your name across the wall
With all the blood that spills from my heart
Break my limbs and stretch my skin
Until my hands can
reach across the floor
Feel for this pile of broken glass
I’ll hand you the sharpest one
To place it right in my back
Yeah!

23. Goin' Down - Three Days Grace
Took me down to the river
So I could drown drown drown
Looking up trough the water
I kept sinking down down down

I feel like I'm dying
I've got one foot in the ground
Never knew what love was
Until you came around

You're going down
You're going down down
You walk all over me
You never thought I'd be
The one who's laughing now
Now that you're going down

24. Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World
I’m not alone cause the TV’s on yeah
I’m not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday
And rest
Clean your conscious
Clear your thoughts with speyside
With your brain
Clean your conscious
Clear your thoughts with speyside

Salt, sweat sugar on the asphalt
Our hearts littering the topsoil
Tune in and we can get the last call

Our lives, are cold

25. Brianstorm - Arctic Monkeys
Some want to kiss some want to kick you
There's not nuthin' there you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
'Cos you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet, but she's yours

I doubt it's your style
Not to get what you set
Out to acquire
The odds are on fire
You are the unforcasted storm

26. Paramore - Let the Flames Begin
What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things.
A memory remains just a tiny spark.
I give it all my oxygen,
to let the flames begin.
to let the flames begin.

Oh, glory.
Oh, glory.
This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down.
This is what we'll be.
Oh, glory.

27. Princes of the Universe - Queen
Hey...
And here we are
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We've come to be the rulers of you all

Oh!
I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings (Yeah, yeah!)
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of you all

28. Aint No Rest For the Wicked - Cage the Elephant
Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Money don't grow on trees.
We got bills to pay,
We got mouths to feed,
There ain't nothing in this world for free.
I know we can't slow down,
We can't hold back,
Though you know, we wish we could.
No there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good

29. House of Wolves - My Chemical Romance
Well, I know a thing about contrition,
Because I got enough to spare.
And I'll be granting your permission,
'Cause you haven't got a prayer.

And I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
I wanna hear you sing the praise,
I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,
We got innocence for days!

And say, ha
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

3o. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes - Fall out Boy
I'm coming apart at the seams
Pitching myself into other people's dreams
Like buzz, buzz, buzz
Doc, there's a hole where something was
Doc, there's a hole where something was

I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine
What a match:
I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet

So boycott love
Detox just to retox
I'd promise you anything for another shot at life
Imperfect boys with their perfect ploys
Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

31. That Green Gentleman - Panic! At the Disco
Things are shaping up to be pretty odd
Little deaths in musical beds
So it seems I'm someone I've never met

You will only hear these elegant crimes
Fall on your ears from criminal dimes
They spill unfound from a pretty mouth

And everybody gets there, everybody gets there
And everybody gets their way
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her
Now I'm the only one to blame

32. My Leftovers - Porcelain And The Tramps
So when you see me comin
You better back down
Cause I've been waitin to smack you around

Oh I don't hold my breath
And I don't hold my tongue
And I know that you know that I don't back down
To no one
To no one

Oh you should've stayed home
You should've known better
Yet I melt in your mouth like liquid sugar.
You thought you were gonna throw it back in my face
But tell me how do my leftovers taste

33. My Way - Frank Sinatra
Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

34. You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds - Mayday Parade
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice, He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

35. Stitches - Orgy
Rolling dice and seeming queer
Bastard love,a sick affair
Let's see what new disease you'll fetch
I mean that fucking you is strange
And adored by me throughout
Oh no it's you again
Blessing you with every kiss

So precious you know this hate of mine exploded
I'm so deranged you know
I will never be the same

Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness cause you're the death of me
So precious loving the thrill

36. Cut Up Angels - The Used
If we cut out the bed
Well then we'd have nothing left
Like I cut up your mouth
The night I stuffed it all in
And you lied to the angels
Said I stabbed you to death
If we go at the same time
Now clean up the mess

I lost my head
You couldn't come
This loss to my brain almost feels like a gun

37. 21 Guns - Green Day
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away?
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

38. Nine in the Afternoon - Panic! At the Disco
Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could 'cause you can so you do
We're feeling so good

Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do you know what I mean?

Back to the place, hey
Where we used to say
Man it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean

39. Belly Up - Maria Mena
Our old world is hard to find.
I doubt it was ever mine
To keep.
Were you always this unkind?

I don't recognize your doubt.
Please say something,
Darling, shout at me
How unfair to shut me out.

4o. Requiem for a Tower - Escala
[ instrumental ]

41. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring
Show me how to lie
You’re getting better all the time
And turning all against the one
Is an art that’s hard to teach
Another clever word
Sets off an unsuspecting herd
And as you get back into line
A mob jumps to their feet

Now dance, fucker, dance
Man, he never had a chance
And no one even knew
It was really only you

With a thousand lies
And a good disguise
Hit ‘em right between the eyes
Hit ‘em right between the eyes
When you walk away
Nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See ‘em running for their lives

42. When Worlds Collide - Powerman 5000
What is it really
That's going on here
You've got your system for total control
Now is there really anybody out there
Now watch us suffer cause we can't go
What is it really that is in your head
What little life that you had just died
I'm gonna be the one that's taking over
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide

What is it really that motivates you
The need to fly or this fear to stop
I'll go along when you realize*
When we get there I say 9 of 10 drop
Now who's the light and who is the devil
You can't decide so I'll be your guide
And one by one they will be hand chosen
Now this is what it's like when worlds collide

Are you ready to go
Cause I'm ready to go
What you gonna do baby, baby
Are you going with me
Cause I'm going with you
It's the end of all time

43. Collide - Howie Day
Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
Out of the doubt that fills my mind,
I somehow found you and I collide.

44. Had Enough - Breaking Benjamin
Intoxicated eyes, the love and myth, that life. You should have learned by now, I'll burn this whole
world down. I need some piece of mind, no fear of what's behind. You think you've won this fight, you've
only lost your mind.

You had to have it all,
well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
you'll get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.

45. Look What You've Done - Jet
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

46. Lollipop - Mika
Sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.
Say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.
say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.

47. Bling (Confessions of a King) - The Killers
When I offer you survival,
You say it's hard enough to live,
And I'll tell you when it's over,
Shut up
Poor and tired, but more than this

How do you know that you're right?
If you're not nervous anymore,
It's not so bad, it's not so bad...

48. Sugar Tunes - Dan Balan
Sugar tunes from nowhere made my day
Numa numa yey
Numa numa numa yey.
Jumping till i broke the wings of blame
I'm so glad i did it my way

49. Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
The boys an girls in the clique,
the awful names at the stick,
your never gonna fit in much, kid.
but if your troubled and hurt,
what you got under your shirt,
will make them pay for the things that they did.

They say all teenagers scare
the living shit outta me.
they could care less,
as long as someone will bleed.
so darken your clothes,
or strike a violent pose,
maybe they'll leave you alone
but not me.

5o. 3's and 7's - Queens of the Stone Age
Lie, lie to my face,
Tell me it ain't no thing,
That's what I wanna hear.
Take, a lie to the grave,
That's what and old friend told me,
Look at what it did for him.

The truth hurts so bad, wouldn't you say?
So why tell it?
If ignorance is bliss,
Then I'm in heaven now

51. Tight - Mindless Self Indulgence
Yeah - Yeah - Tell me what you want me to be
What you want me to be
What you want me to be - Ooh

I am tight - Yeah - Fuckin' right - Ooh
Tell me what you want me to be
What you want me to be
What you want me to be - Ooh

52. All Around the World - Naked Round the Block
The kisses of the sun
Were sweet
I didn't blink
I let it in my eyes
Like an exotic dream
The radio playing songs
That I have never heard
I don't know what to say
Oh, not another word

Just la la la la la
It goes around the world
Just la la la la la
It's all around the world
Just la la la la la
And everybody singing
La la la la la And our bells are ringing
La la la la la La la la

[[ SIMS 2 ]] Greece/Japan date tieeeem!

2009-12-31T02:23:57Z

I stopped playing Pokemon for this shit

Ya'll betta appreciate

QUICK! BEFORE THE DATE PICTURES, LOOKIT THIS

Romano and almost nakie Spain cuddle under the stars.
I hope a meteor doesnt smash their freakin faces in.

Omg, the whole freakin time I was uploading these snapshots, Photobucket kept showing me ads of little kids fighting cancer.
I was about to start bawling on my keyboard n shit.

Anyway...

Greece prepares to take Nihon out for a night of wild crazy sex

These bitches are ready for action

AT LONDOSTE....

Greece: Japan...will you....go on a date....with me...?
Japan: ...Yes.

Some molesting here and there...

Greece can land surf like it aint nobody's business

Greece: Sucky sucky 5 dolla?

Japan: ....

Japan: Sucky sucky 10 dorra

Greece: :D Ummmm....

Greece: No.
Apparently Greece wasn't willing to pay that much for a blow job.
Japan is a maso and likes rejection.

Greece: Japan...will you....dance wi--

Japan: YES.

So the start to dance. Classically.

- insert Austria piano playing in the bg -

After that...

Greece: Japan...will you...slow dance wi--

Japan: FUCK YES

Yeah....

Dawwww. Aren't they the cutest thing?

SCANDALOUS GREECE IS SCANDALOUS

Yeah, this trippy bitch wants to get all up in Japan's mangina

SMOOCH!

That guy is still waiting for the chance to make grabby hands at Japan's nads

Random guy: Hey, I'mma rape your boyfriend later, k?

Greece: Oh....okay...wait...

Greece: *rage*

Shanaynay (formerly known as Random Guy) over here takes a seat to watch the slash moments.

Shanaynay: Dat ass.

More slash pics...

Japan is such a queer

Shanaynay is tried of watchin' without gettin' some so he goes back inside to drink the pain away

Yeah some random massage shit.

Greece: ...JAPAN....

Greece: LOOK HOW FAR....I CAN REACH....

Japan: You know what they say in my country about men with long arms?

Greece: omg....no....what...?

Japan: ...Seven dayssss....

Greece: =_= ....what...

Japan: Walk like an Egyptian~

Greece: That is...so not...funny...

Inside the restaurant, they get frisky on the couch.

SHANAYNAY RETURNS

Greece: OPEN WIDE
Japan: Aaaaah

Shanaynay is totally staring and still waiting for a chance to fondle the Nipster
He'll have to get by with fapping to up close and personal yaoiz

Shanaynay had to look away.

Awkward positions are awkward

Shanaynay couldn't handle it; he walked away.

They dont actually have dinner even though they went to a diner, but they DO get it awn.

-insert crazy loud, earth shaking, spicy porno movie quality sex sounds here-

Car sex in the rain. How fucking intense is that?

Greece proposes to Japan and Nihon accepts! I couldn't get photos of the actual proposal so this is all you get.

Nyaaa.

SO THEY DRIVE BACK HOME.

Spain is completely nakie there. Yeaaah. I'm convinced of it.

[[ SIMS 2 ]] Allies Move!

2009-12-30T05:22:51Z

FFFT. Just cleaned out my snapshot folder and my PB so I'm feelin' good about this. *dizzy*

So yeah. This post includes...
- the Allies move into a giant ass home and do stupid shit
- Fucking hilarious facial expressions

I know I promised a friend I'd include Greece, but I kinda wanted to get pictures of the new move, etc. The Greece/Japan date will be posted tomorrow

I love to spoil the Allies. They're so beautiful and sexy. I'd love to jizz all over Canada's sweet ass.

Here's the home

Nyaaa. There are more pics but I'm too lazy to paste them all.

So, so there's all standing around harassing each other. France goes about trying to molest Canada

Wait...wtf is America doing?

Yeah...okay...

Back to the molestation!

France: :D
Canada: *not in wanting*

America continues to be a retard.

What was that I don't even....

France: Oui, I'm about this big. Times two.

Meanwhile, England and China fight over opium.

Yep. and then they just stand around and congratulate each other like dumb fucks.

FRANCE IS A BALLERINA

Russia: Ow that hurt you dick
America: *ponders the meaning of life*

Russia: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, banana phone!

Wouldn't Russia make a sexc vampire?

China: Bwahaha aru~!

CHINA LOOKS LIKE A STONED LLAMA LOL

And hot damn, doesn't France look girly? Rawr.

France: Must let maicure dry while China looks normal oui oui!

France, China NEVER looks normal.

Look it's Mr. Grumpy Gills a.k.a Vash. He's come to greet the Allies!

Totally. China's hand is stuck in America's elbow joint and America feels good about it.

I didn't even know that Vash was CAPABLE of making those faces.

China has a nice ass Y/Y? Also, note Russia looking at Vash's back with lust filled eyed. Or something.

Russia: OH JEEZ I'D LOVE TO SHOVE MY PIPE UP FRANCE'S ASS AND SCRAP IT ACROSS HIS GIANT PROSTATE
China and Canada get frisky in the bg.

NICE ASS Y/Y
( With UK's marking on it. MHMMMMM )

Um so Russia and England start throwing punches. For no freakin reason.

Russia: THIS ONE'S FOR ANASTASSIA

England: WELL THIS ONE'S FOR CHURCHILL.

Russia: OH NO U FUCKIN DIDN'T

England: OH YES I FUCKIN' DID
Oh, and there's Canada and China dancing in the background. MY GOD THAT ASS.

Oh, yeah. Say hello to Kumajiro btw.

Vash gets some friends to play!

Ohohoho

France: LOOK AMERICA, THERE'S A GIANT BURGER WITH TITS BEHIND YOU

America: BURGER WITH TITS?!

America: Me no see it--

America: --OLY SHIT

So they start a water balloon fight.

INCOMING MISSILE

America: OH FUUUCK

France in his signature "RECEIVE THE PENIS" position

Meanwhile, Russia tries to catch a butterfly.

Russia: Oh, Lithuania. So pretty....
England: Lithuania isn't a butterfly...

Russia: Lithuania, why won't you get in my jar?

The end, because Mom was fussing at me to go to bed. ;D

Gilbo's Frackin' Awesome Adventures

2009-11-29T21:31:08Z

First time taking a look into the Austria/Switzerland & Prussia household, but most of this post includes screenshots of Prussia's adventures downtown.

Hello, Austria!

Switzerland. Lookin' sexy.

And here's the star of ~~Hetalia~~ this post

Prussia has a cat. It's name is Da Chicky
Yeah, not funny, I know

Prussia: *RAEP*
Switzerland: D:>

Prussia: HEY COCKSUCKER
Austria: wot

Prussia: EAT THIS BIIIITCH

Prussia: AHAHA
Austria: D:

Austria: WAIT. STOP I BROKE A NAIL

Austria: LOL SIKE
Prussia: *PWN'D*

Switzerland: *KISSYKISSY FAYSE*

Austria doing what Austria does best

Prussia: *at mirror* LOOKIN' FAWKIN HOT YOU DEVILISH BEAST U
I took a picture of Prussia admiring himself, and at that point I notice a burglar approaching. LOL I was surprised.

Prussia notices the thief and runs inside
Prussia: HOLY FREAKIN SHIT I HOPE SHE STABS RODERICH LOL

Prussia. AAAAH CHUU *sneeze on burglar*

OH HELL NO. NOT THE JACUZZI D:

Police has finally arrived

A very long battle between local authority and local dickhead commences

Yeah, well, the policeman won and they got the jacuzzi back, then makes them dinner.

Austria has a mental breakdown at the table. No one really cares, though

LOL WHATS WRONG VASH?

Oh, no. Don't you start crying too!

That burglar bitch broke Austria and Switzerland's bed, so I buy them a new one

On which Vash begins reading cheap smut

LOOKS LIKE THEY GETTIN' SOME ASS TONIGHT

Meanwhile, Prussia sleeps with his cat

The next morning, I Prussia takes him and his cat downtown to have some fun.

FLAWLESS PRUSSIAN BODY

RODNEY'S HIDEOUT

AND LOOK WHO SHOWS UP. RUSSIA AND HIS CHEATIN' ASS.
WHAT'S WRONG RUSSIA? AMERICA NOT GIVIN' IT TO YA HARD ENOUGH BACK AT HOME? PFFFFFFT

I'm watchin' you, Russia.

Prussia: I AM THE GODDAMN BATMAN

Prussia: THIS IS HOW I HAVE SEX

Russia: *RAEP*
Prussia: D:>

What goes around comes around

Prussia go hawd when he be free stylin'

Soo, Prussia gets bored and leaves.
Obviously, Russia is still butthurt that Canada and America caught him cheating.

SOME RANDOM CLOTHES STORE THAT PLAYED SHITTY GAWFFIK SCREAMO MUSIC

Time to try on clothes~

Prussia came out lookin' real swanky

After changing back, he meets Spain

Spain: Ur hot
Prussia: lol ik

He buys cologne

Prussia: WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME DADDY

Spain tries to make moves on Prussia but Prussia don't want none of his tomato penis

TRAP DOOR CLOTHES STORE OR SOMETHING

Prussia: HELLO COCKFAYSE
America: :D HI THERE

Outside, Prussia starts freestylin' again
CAN ANYONE SPOT FRANCE?

America is also obviously still butthurt about Russia's affair

When everyone clears away, Prussia decides to mindfuck a helpless victim

Prussia: HEY BUDDY , SHAKE MY FUCKING HAND OKAY?

Prussia: LOL
Dude: OOOO FUUCK

Prussia: I BUSTED A GUT AND I LIKE IT

Prussia: OMFG PIKACHU YOU DUMB BITCH ELECTRIC CAN'T KILL THAT ONIX *mashes buttons*

SOME 50'S DINER

Prussia: WELL HELLO SEXY PIECE OF ITALIAN ASS
Italy: = 7 = veee~

Prussia: THE WORLD? YEAH, I FUCKIN OWN IT
Italy: so cool!

Prussia: *RANDOM RAGE*

He starts playing pool with Japan

Then they have a conversation outside

Japan: I buy 4 pair of handcuff yesterday
Prussia: Oooh, handcuffs?

Prussia: LET'S GET KINKY *MOAR RAEP*
Japan: *enjoys*

WATER BALLOON FIGHT TIEM

Prussia: UNNNF
Japan: HIYAA

Prussia: FRIGGIN A

AT AN ART MUSEUM

I'd love to see someone use THAT toilet

Prussia: GIMME A BEER BIIIITCH

He had to settle for coffee

The he visits the theater, and look who's there! Estonia

And there's Latvia. Latvia looks too much like Canada, I know. I plan on changing that later...

Prussia: OMFG RAIN HOW AWESOME

Prussia: DONT YOU EVER PLAY IN THOSE FUCKIN FILTHY PUDDLES AGAIN

Before he leaves, he plays around in the filthy puddles

Prussia: I FREAKIN LOVE THIS SHIT

& that concludes Prussia's adventures in the downtown. 8D

omfg these assholes [ Sims 2 ]

2009-11-28T23:20:38Z

Seriously. They never stop being hormonal bitches. But that's okay~ I love them all the same.

Well, it didn't start off ALL bad. Here are some pictures that took place before the drama llama raped everyone.

Dancey Dance Tiem

France: AND WHEN I WOKE UP, MY DICK WAS STICKIN OUT ALL THE WAY UP TOP HERE. SEE, I HAD TO MASTURBATE LIKE THIS *demonstration*

Russia: !

America: *point* YOU HAVE THREE NIPPLES
France: I know

France: *approaching victim*

France: Just keep your eyes closed, Russia...

France, you disappoint me

NOW THE DRAMA STARTS

So, I make them go on an outing and they're all standing around chilling when suddenly I see--

SON OF A BITCH

SON. OF. A . BITCH
lol @ France and England being all lovie dovie down thar

I don't know how it happened or why, but Russia and China are in love and America and Canada are steamed.
So I make them all go home.

When they get home, everyone starts having a mental breakdown. The following angst scenes appear in no particular order...

DONT MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE ENEMY, AMERICA

Russia gets poked

Canada bout to choke a bitch

Russia: *SLAVIC ANGST*

He attempts to drink the pain away

OOH, BUT LOOK WHO IT IS

Russia, you just got bitch slapped

Russia: *MOAR SLAVIC ANGST*

Time to get revenge--WITH A POKE

And hell, it worked

So I make this bitch learn couple's counseling

LOOK EVEN THE DOGS HATE RUSSIA

Because he was constantly being picked on, I made him take a relaxing bubble bath which really didn't help anything

CHINA WAS OUTSIDE BLOWING BUBBLES WHILE THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM FELL APART.

I told China to sleep in the same bed as Canada and he gave me that response.
China: WHAT IT IS WIT CHU?

After learning Couples Counseling, England tries to prevent another Cold War from happening

Tensions still run high...
So they strike up a conversation.

Russia: IF I EVER SEE A BURGLAR I'LL SLIT HIS FUCKING THROAT

Russia: NVM IM SCARED

America: Let me hold you bby

DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Yeah, China and Canada are slowly getting it together...

England: After all of that counseling I'll need a drink...or five.

more Sims 2 junk

2009-11-27T20:42:06Z

I post too much Sims 2 junk.
I can't help it, it's addictive!

So there's two new arrivals to the Axis Powers household--Greece and Spain. My friend wanted me to add Greece so I added Spain for the hell of it. Plus, Romano needs some booty.

Hello Greece

Hello Spain

Nothing really interesting happens until these gays show up--

Poland, Latvia's back and Lithuania.

France kind of just let himself in, took a shit and then started blowing stuff with Spain and Greece.

Yeah...does this remind anyone else of the original Willy Wonka?

Italy decided to be gay too.

Italy: *blow*
Germany: *stare* the fuck you doin? Thats not my dick

So Germany tells France to leave and I make everyone stop blowing bubbles so they can socialize instead of act like fucking crackheads.

Germany will have none of Poland's shit

So he goes off to play a game
Germany: THE ELECTRONICS HAVE LEFT ME IN DESPAIR

Wait, what is this? France.
Germany asked him to leave earlier. Five minutes later, he comes back and ready for more bubble drugs.

Lativa tries to tickle Lithuania or something and Lithuania does not want

Italy has a nice little chat with Russia via phone.

Russia: :'3 Italy, let's so somewhere dark and quiet. Alone~
Italy: omgkay <3

So Italy hops into a taxi to meet Russia~~'s penis~~
(France followed Italy into the taxi. LOLwhat? )

RUSSIA LIED. HE REALLY BROUGHT HIS ALLY FRIENDS TO GANGBANG YOU ITALY. Not that you'd mind, you little slut.
( For some reason, when France stepped out of the taxi, everyone suddenly felt sexually attracted to him.)

But damn, if I knew this was a "Bring Your Gay Lover" outing, I would have made Germany tag along!

Sims 2; the only world in which Italy can fuck Russia's shit up

England: *fondles America's butt*

America, England, Canada and some random chick play hacky sac in the rain

China thinks that hacky sac is srs business

Bored with watching hacky sac, France gets naked and jumps into the tub

Canada: OMG NAKED FRANCE. I NEVER SEEN THAT ONE BEFORE

Italy and Russia join him.
It looks like Russia got a body erection, but he really just got struck by lightening.

LOL HOLY FUCK.

The brave nations who remain in the water even after witnessing Russia's sad fate
(I made Italy get out because god forbid his cute little butt got electrocuted too)
Yeah, Italy's wearing pink trunks

Russia leaves. Said he had "something to deal with."
LOL yeah, like the fact that his testicles just got fried

No, America. You do not start a conversation with another man in the stall like that.

Even England doesn't approve

Canada gets electrocuted as well. How many have to suffer before these bitches learn?

Not even five seconds into it and America gets struck too.
So now the only ones remaining are England, China, Italy and France.

WHY HAS FRANCE GONE UNHARMED?

To prevent Italy from joining back into the hot tub, I make him dance.

Can Italy work dat ass? Ooooh, you bet.

China: ROFLMAO
England: FFFFF

I guess I was wrong. Guess America didn't go home.
AND HE'S BACK TO NORMAL. Such a sexual being, he is.

Daaaaaamn, China be ALL UP IN dat crotch

LOLwtf the place is glowing.
Should I be scared?

Italy and America making gang signs at each other

I honestly don't know what emotion China is trying to portray
YOURE DOING IT WRONG

Britain's Got Talent

So I guess Canada didn't leave either

Oh fuck.

Yaoi and Cockland are the only ones brave enough to stay in the tub THIS time. France had long since fled

Iggy gets charred and...LIKES IT?
What a masochistic bastard.

Random chick: So has anyone seen the new Jason movie?

Italy gettin' gay with France
Lady in the back: :D yaoi

So, anyway...I got bored with the outing ( eventually it was only China and Italy left) and made Italy go home

Italy and Germany messed around on the Love Bed

WHY IS FRANCE STILL HERE?

They're at it AGAIN, my god...

Greece failed the Treadmill.
No, really. He fell at least 10 times

- time skip to the next morning...-

Italy: :D oh u
Doitsu blowing kisses. Um. Yeah...

That's all for now. Next post will contain Russia and America's wedding plus some other weird shit. =>

France/England wedding [ Sims 2 ]

2009-11-26T00:57:55Z

Allied Household, France and England getting married. It's not much, but hey, I wanted to share this. D:

Before the wedding, let's throw in some pictures of China!

CHINA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT COMPUTER IT LOOKS NAUGHTY 8D

He burnt the pancakes. What a bitch D:<

Go back and try again
He's got UK's flag on his asscheeks oh yes prease <3

WORK THAT PLUNGER BBY

For some reason, when everyone was walking out to watch the wedding they all had X's over Japan's face.
I DONT GET IT

Yep. That's them in their formal outfits.
Don't ask

Yaaaaay~

Okay, so they jump into a limo and the Axis Powers leave so after the remaining Allies screw around a bit, I take THIS picture...

ISNT RUSSIA SEX IN A SUIT?
It's the scarf. Gotta be the scarf~

So the queers return and start cuddling in the hot tub.
I wanted to get a better close up but for some reason the game wouldn't let me. Darn.

France: *ONOMNOMING ENGLAND'S FAYSE*
England's fayse: *PLUSPLUS*

THEN THEY GO OFF TO HAVE SEX BUT I DIDN"T TAKE PHOTS OF THAT 8D

But I DID take this photo.

The penguin had an orgasm. LOOK AT HIS EXPRESSIVE FACE.
Penguin: EGGGSUNNNFFFGUHHH.

Russia and America's wedding is next on the list. =>

HETALIA SIMS 2 [ GAY ALLY FUN ]

2009-11-24T03:22:42Z

WARNING: VERY IMAGE HEAVY!

Me just having fun with the Allied Forces + Canada~ The Axis Powers ( along with Romano ) visit the Allies so you'll be seeing some of that. They're all good friends so I try to find humor in things other than fighting...mostly sex n stuff :'3

Yep. There's your Axis Powers.

And here are your Allies.
DO NOT BE FOOLED. CANADA AND CHINA ARE NOW MARRIED.
lolwhat? Don't ask how it happened. It just did.

So it starts out with them eating dinner...

OOOH YEAH LOOK AT DAT MANRY IGIRISU CHEST

France: omgsnow
America: *isn't looking at the window*

France: Sex iz gud
America: O fer real

THERE IT IS AGAIN.

Whut's over thar to the right?

Don't act like you don't like this crack pairing.
LOL France actually looks naked here
America: :D

See, it's cute...in Sims 2. :D

THIS IS HOW THE REAL HETALIA SHOULD BE

Yeah, at some point these two go at it as well.

NEXT MORNING~

Dawwwww

France: AND I WAS LIKE, "SUCK IT HAAAWWD BITCH"
England: *enlightened*

I'll take you to da candy shop~
Lots of Woohoo = good

And while that happens, China and Canada play a romantic game of Chess

And meanwhile, America tries to not be a fatty D:
Go baby go go!

I forgot when I took this one, BUT YOU KNOW WHO HE'S PLAYING WITH RIGHT?
His fairy fuckin god mother

OH YES

SOOO, THE AXIS PAY A VISIT.
And Romano is gray. Because he was out in the cold for too long.

China: oh herro Japan
Japan: *turns away*

Germany is bowling in the snow. How badass.

Italy: OMG SNOOOW

England: Puzzels?!
Germany: *excitment*

Later in the dining room...

Germany: Italy. I want your dick. *stare*
Italy: *oblivious*
China: So how about them maths?

THAT IS ONE SCARY DOITSU

Canada: So there was this lady bug once and it crawled up my arm and it made me feel TRIPPY

Italy left so Germany saw it as his chance to seduce England.
It worked. Too bad France caught them in the act

England: I FUCKING HATE FRANCE

England: *RAAAAGE*
France: ohshitson

France later tried to repair the relationship and failed!

France: *distress*

Germany puts the moves on England one last time before he leaves.

Japan ends up freezing too...

America: That's a nice pair o' balls you got there, Russia

THE NEXT MORNING...

America: errr France have hot body

England: UGGH YOU FUCKING TROLLAP

America: ENGLAND MY APPENDIX BURST LOL
England: :l wot

England: *writes a bitter lamentation about France*

And I end with them all eating together again. All in their undies (except Russia, sadly)
>:D

HETALIA ASYLUM FOR SIMZ 2?

2009-11-24T00:12:03Z

Oh yes.

Errr, if you have no idea what an asylum challenge is, click THIS LINK PLZ. Okay, so, we're good?

First I'll start off with something boring like the cast of characters.
Just a little note here--I don't dress them in their anime costumes, I think they look better in other clothes

America is my playable character. He's also the sexiest thang in Hetalia. Ever.
You know why I took a picture of him at that angle? SO YOU COULD CHECK OUT HIS FOXY LIL ASS.
Aspiration: Popularity (okay, that makes sense)
Reason for institutionalization: One night he got drunk, had a threesome with McCain and Palin and when he found out, it broke his brain.

Hello, gorgeous.
Aspiration: Family (LOL SUCKS FOR U AUSTRIA)
Reason for institutionalization: Suddenly he wouldn't get off his piano. He wouldn't eat, sleep or piss and he'd be taking his piano on a musical joyride 24/7. He even talked to it. Naturally, everyone felt that the two needed to separate.

Is my Canada horrible looking? I kind of like the hair...
Aspiration: Knowledge (uhh, sure?)
Reason for institutionalization: He was fed up with everyone forgetting his name, so he came to the G8 Meeting with a shotgun and started poppin' caps up bitches asses, a.k.a. blowing everyone's heads off. He managed to kill England, Germany, N. Italy and ATTEMPTED to shoot America but hit France by mistake. A mental breakdown followed shortly afterward.

I really have always thought that Romano belonged in a hospital
Aspiration: Popularity (I can't even think of something clever to say here)
Reason for institutionalization: Accidentally walked into a Germany/Italy ( before they were shot, obviously) sexy tiem that involved pasta noddles and Alfredo sauce and boiling water and erotic hair and chains and dogs and all that good stuff. Needless to say, he hasn't been the same since, but I doubted his sanity even before the incident...

Him and his lil sweater that's red. LIKE COMMUNISM.
HE HAS A UNION JACK ON HIS BUTTCHECK NO LIE
Aspiration: Popularity (Stop wit this popularity shit D:)
Reason for institutionalization: Do I even need to give a reason for this one?

Should have put him in an Alice dress but was too lazy so I picked the next best thing.
He looks like he's enjoying being in that dress.
Aspiration: Romance (HMMMM who shall he woohoo?)
Reason for institutionalization: One night he had this terrible, horrifying dream that involved him being trapped in Wonderland. When he woke up, he was mumbling nonsense and calling himself Alice...

Aspiration: Romance (I THINK I JUST FOUND SWITZERLAND A BUTT BUDDY)
Reason for institutionalization: One word. Russia.

YES, he's wearing hideous makeup. YES, he has a nose ring. YES, he's dressed in girl clothes
Aspiration: Family (wat no)
Reason for institutionalization: It seems his mind is off in La La Land and won't come back! He'll hallucinate all the time and go on crazy adventures all in his head. When he started to "ride Mimi the Pink Pony", people grew concerned.

Vash doesn't sit very lady-like

Okay, wasn't that fun? Now, let me show you the house then I can get on with the (not so lulzy ) lulz...

Yeah America is shitting. D:
Nooow, on with the adventure...

It looks like Switzerland is painting a portrait of Hungary

Romano: *attempt to poke*
Russia: *looks down* teeheewhat
Poland: *stare*

Romano: LOLPOINT
Russia: *RAGE*
Poland's eye: *stare*

Yeah, they did nothing exciting after that...

Romano: D:
Poland: *lovely lady lumps*

Is it just me or is his ring finger fucked up?

Poland: Like, talk to the hand mai Warsaw is 2 much fer u
Russia: *not amused*

And over on the other side of the room we haaaave...

Canada: Switzerland.
Lithuania: =O omg no way

Canada: Yes way.

( btw, the picture quality is KILLED from this point on out because I'm too lazy to take screen caps--because I have to press Print Screen twice, initially and then AFTER IT FAILS to paste to my picture in PS so I go back and try again--so I used the built in camera mode. Sorry~ )Anyway, let's see how Switzerland's painting is coming along!

Yep. Looks just like Hungary.

Here we have Lithuania getting excited over an intense game of hacky sac.

Why does Austria look retarded? D:
Swiss stopped painting, but why is he taking a plate to the toilet?

LATER THAT NIGHT...

If he would have started a fire, I would have been pissed.

Austria: DO YOU LIEK MY NECK, GAIZ? IT TWIST MANY WAYS.

Romano: Hello, Poland's ass

Hello, Canada's censored ass

Lithuania: *GOSSIP* did you know that America uses mayo as LUBRICANT?
Canada: true, true

Poland: America, like, uses mayo? Hot damn.

I believe this one is called Treadmill Buttsex Pose Numbah 5

I forgot to add a roof so when it started raining, they all woke up LOL

THE END BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE PLAYING MY ALLIED FORCES HOUSEHOLD INSTEAD. 8D WILL TAKE PICTURES OF THAT TOO.

trippin' balls, england [2??]

2009-10-27T00:32:16Z

There was screaming. High pitched, elated screaming to contrast the deep, hungry moans that were erupting from both throats. Sweat and saliva covered their bodies, causing the flesh to glisten in the dimmed lights. Lust not only consumed the burning bodies of the two lovers, but it chocked and suffocated every droplet of moisture in the atmosphere.

With each passionate thrust, the heat inside the room grew more intense, and so did the moaning. The penis, hot and sticky with the maple syrup used for lubrication, continued to grind into the eager ass. Trails of naughty and sexual French were gasped and grunted out of both mouths. The cries of ecstasy escalated, a bead of syrup dripped down the receiver's leg, the French became faster, the gasps grew more intense until finally---

Oh wait. Wrong room.

America was still running his mouth. His giant, loud mouth that he could run for days straight. The whole time he'd be spilling utter asshattery, of course, but none the less.

England only managed to suffer as long as he did because on the inside, he was dying of laughter. He might have been dying of exposure to intense stupidity too, though, but he honestly found it hilarious, in the saddest way, that America was acting exactly how he always acted. Over dramatic, arrogant, butthurt, all that jolly stuff.

"...And I was just try'na figure out why the hell you'd do somethin' like that."

"Why?" England laughed bitterly in response. "God, I've only told you about a hundred times. Hmm, and I do recall that the first ninety-nine times, I was being kind about it."

"Kind? PSSSSSSSH! You know what was real kind? All those damn taxes. Couldn't get enough for your people, could you? Had to bring me down with you, didn't you?"

England, who had been leaning back in his chair, sat up straighter and his ginormous brows furrowed even more. America would see that his face was turning a little pink. "You selfish wanker--you know bloody well that those taxes were--" he stopped his sentence incomplete, as if anger had chocked it out. Slowly, a smile crept up his lips. It wasn't a happy smile. No, it was most definitely a forced smile. "Continue on with your miserable story."

"Yeeee, that's what I thought."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1764

England could have died. No, he was quite sure that a part of him did die whenever his eyes flashed over that number. That number that was well over £800,000,000. His heart always sunk deep inside of his chest and his mind started to race whenever he thought about the debt that had accumulated. It wasn't just England who was suffering-- West Indies, who had made money much better than America ever could, still needed compensation for the failure that was the Molasses Act.

Of course, the only reasonable thing to do would be to tax America...After all, England had suffered financial loss because he had protected America's sad arse countless times. Of course it was only reasonable for England to demand payment for his service of protecting America, wasn't it?

Someone didn't think so.

~~~

England wasn't the only one in a bit of a financial bind. America had the colonies pour all they had into supplying food for British solider's during the French and Indian War. So one could imagine that when America got news of England's new acts, he was thrilled.

"You know, ever since that war, I've felt like you've been all up in my grill."

"All up in your what?"

America turned so he was sitting in the chair backwards and able to face England who was leaning against the door of the office, arms crossed and quizzical look on his face.

"Oh, I dunno. First, ya say I can't have that land I've been wanting since forever. Real nice, real nice. Then, you gotta send a bunch of your soldiers here. Plan on having a big ol party, huh? Nooow, you come waltzin' in here acting like you have the right to tax me and all...I just think it's kinda funny. West Indies? He quite loved it as well."

"I think it's kind of funny, also," England replied with edge in his voice. "That the land you wanted oh so badly would still belong to that frog if it weren't for me. I also find it funny that perhaps you don't remember how much I've spent protecting you from--can you take a guess? France? Native Americans? Yes, yes, I believe those were the two. Oh, and you couldn't possibly forgotten how hilarious it was when I found out that you were avoiding my Molasses Act? I don't think I could stop laughing."

Even thought both men had responded calmly, their voices dripped with sarcasm. Suddenly, the room felt very dark and there was a an almost visible cloud of resent enveloping each blond.

"I love how I've been able to what I wanted to do and make a living for myself, by my own rules," America growled. He hadn't been more right. It was the fact that he didn't have to pay the tax, the fact that he could avoid certain laws that he didn't want to follow, that fact that each colony governed itself and the fact that until recently England hadn't been trying enforce duties on him that made him love that freedom he had. But ever since the end of the war, he felt like those freedoms were slowly dying.

And England couldn't exactly be blamed for it. After all, he needed the money--desperately so. Taxing America wasn't any more unreasonable than asking for payment after a day of long, hard work. Why couldn't America see it that way? Because he was ignorant and selfish and too young to understand.

"Well, if we're going to continue living a nice, good life we're going to have to help England out a bit so he can continue providing for us, understand?" England's voice was motherly--as if he were talking to a small child.

"You know, that's seriously not even the big problem." America leaned forward in the chair, tipping it but not enough to cause it crash into the ground. "Taxing me is one thing, but this whole Sugar Act is one big pot of bullshit. You're saying I can export lumber to anyone but you, that I have to make sure all my ships keep a perfect little stock of everything and have it approved by you before it can even be unloaded, if someone does happen to break your ridiculous rules, they're going to be tried in YOUR courts, not mine. Do I get ANY say in this? Of course not. Okay, hell no."

"Hell no?" England laughed. It was scary how dramatically his face changed from a laugh to something dark and unwelcoming. "Listen here. You had your fun, and now play time is over. I have needs and I have plans and I will get what I want. You will not like it, but you'll have to learn to live with it, because I will win. The harder you resist, the more painful it will become."

There was something absolutely threatening about England's voice, and that was exactly what the older nation was going for. He wasn't fill of rage, he was full of determination to put America in his place and make sure he knew damn well what was going down. It was England saying, 'I'll force you into obedience, you rebellious slut.'

England attitude and words left a very bitter taste in America's mouth. It was so bitter that if it were a real taste in his mouth, it would probably melt his tongue off or something horrible like that. It took a while for America to recover from something so shocking. "Is that a threat?"

"No. It's the Law, and you're going to be a good boy and obey it this time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

England didn't want to say it, but he was quite proud of what a little bad arse he had been back then. He only wished he could make America shit bricks now, but the oaf would be too stuck up to even care that England was trying to buck with him.

"You know, there was like this gate, like the toddler gates, and I fetl like you had dropped me in there and started to constantly watch guard over me with your evil,, glaring eyes--it was horrible! I can picture it....you staring down at him, your caterpillar brows glaring at me too...poor me in the little pen, all scared and abused and--"

A book came into hard contact with the side of America's face.

"God, would you stop?"

America brought his hand to the red spot, his jaw dropped a bit. "The hell was that...?"

"AAAAH! UNNFFFF OH, FRANCE!"

Both men froze at the sound--England didn't even have time to come up with a snarky retort. Frozen, they remained still and silent, England in his chair, mouth open and filled with the words he would have said, America on the bed, staring at the England was who staring back.

They must not have realized that something dirty was going on in the other room until America finally stopped shouting about his twisted recollection.

For a long time, they both remained silent. All they could was try not to develop mental images of what they imagined was going on in the other room. The little sounds of panting and smooth French only provided more elaborate visuals.

"Dude...was that..."

"Canada," England finished. "M-maybe you should continue...?"

"Oh, yeah, right..." America shook his head in some sad attempts to shake the images from his mind. "Uhh...w-where was I?"

"You were--"

"Oooh! Aaaah...r-round two? O-Oh, France..."

"I...I just never knew he could be loud...I mean...damn..."

England cleared his throat. "We've both learned something new, then."

"Right...Uh, I'll just, uh...so what's next? Uhh...." It took America a moment to get back into his groove, but it didn't matter. As quickly as it ended, it could pick back up and escalate once again. "Oh, right! Those stupid sugar taxes. I couldn't even have tea without worrying about paying for it--thought I can't seem to understand why'd I would have even wanted to drink tea at all..."

"Don't bitch about my tea. Bitch about everything else, but leave the tea out of it. And don't you dare think about insulting my scones."

"Don't worry, I have plenty of other ways to make fun of you. Oh, like in 1765? That year sound familiar to you? Oh yeah! You were only the biggest jerk in the history of ever."

"Oh, please do tell." After recovering from the Canada sex shock, England morphed back into his pissy self and relaxed in his chair a bit.

"Okay, but first, let me call up room service. You think they'll bring me some doughnuts? I'm seriously starving."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note 1: West Indies were also a British colony type thing. If I'm not mistaken, France and Spain had West Indie colonies as well.

Note 2: Molasses Act was passed in 1733. It was basically taxing molasses imports from non-British colonies. New England (Massachusetts) relied on molasses to make rum. The whole act was passed to so the West Indies, England was in debt and the West Indies, which was Britain's best trade partner at the time, could fight out the trade competition.

Note 3: "Rebellious slut" refers to an actual political cartoon of sorts. It was made in 1766, but after seeing it, I HAD to insert it into the story immediately!

Note 4: America asking for a hamburger would be too cliche to be funny. Besides, eating doughnuts as a midnight snack is always fun?

Note 5: This one may be slightly historically inaccurate? Idk. Sugar Act is not my best subject. ;~;