{"id":589,"date":"2015-08-31T20:14:55","date_gmt":"2015-08-31T19:14:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/autistic.wpengine.com\/?p=589"},"modified":"2021-10-24T16:54:48","modified_gmt":"2021-10-24T15:54:48","slug":"working-abroad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/working-abroad\/","title":{"rendered":"Working abroad with Asperger&#8217;s: 10 life lessons I learned from Kindercamp"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>People often ask each other where their \u2018second home\u2019 is. When I tell them that mine is the Jugendgruppenzeltplatz on Falckensteinerstrand, they look at me funny.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_598\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-598\" style=\"width: 360px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-598 \" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8109-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"Don\u2019t be too intimidated by the long German words you\u2019ll see in this article- they\u2019re deceptively simple. Jugendgruppenzeltplatz literally means \u2018youth group tent place\u2019.\" width=\"360\" height=\"270\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8109-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8109-1024x768.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-598\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Don\u2019t be too intimidated by the long German words you\u2019ll see in this article- they\u2019re deceptively simple. Jugendgruppenzeltplatz literally means \u2018youth group tent place\u2019.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This is <a href=\"http:\/\/wassersportcamp.de\/index.php?id=6\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kindercamp<\/a>&#8211; a watersports camp run by the German Methodist Church. It serves up to 80 children each year (followed immediately by Jugendcamp for 60 teenagers), teaching them surfing, sailing, kayaking and more in a caring Christian environment; camped on a beach just metres from the best sailing waters in Europe. I\u2019ve been coming here since 2006.<\/p>\n<p>So, how did an English guy like me get involved in all this? <a href=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/story-of-an-autistic-teacher\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Ted.<\/a> He and his wife Mary inspired far more people than just me. They had some German friends over during one of their camps, and not long later their German friends went back and started Kindercamp. In 2006 Ted, Mary and I were invited to join them with some of our English kids, and I ended up being a repeat visitor.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_599\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-599\" style=\"width: 838px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-599 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8892-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Twenty-six years on from Kindercamp #1, with Ted, Eberhard and now Mary all passed on, their legacy remains. And it\u2019s awesome.\" width=\"838\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8892-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8892-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8892-321x214.jpg 321w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8892-140x94.jpg 140w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 838px) 100vw, 838px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-599\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Twenty-six years on from Kindercamp #1, with Ted, Eberhard and now Mary all passed on, their legacy remains. And it\u2019s <em>awesome<\/em>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Except:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I\u2019m the only English guy there.<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m the only one whose German isn\u2019t perfect (if you count Southern German as perfect).<\/li>\n<li>As far as I can tell, I\u2019m the only autistic person there.<\/li>\n<li>Oh, and coeliac disease forces me to go gluten-free in the land of bread and beer, so the kitchen staff have to make extra effort to accommodate me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In order for me to add to this camp rather than take away from it, I have to work extremely hard.<\/p>\n<p>So if this camp offers so many opportunities to go terribly wrong for me, why doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>Two reasons:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>I <em>do <\/em>work extremely hard.<\/li>\n<li>It <em>has <\/em>gone wrong in the past. I\u2019ve just learned from it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>As promised by the title, here are ten important lessons I\u2019ve learned from my years at Kindercamp, through both the good times and the (very occasional) bad.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>1: When people meet you halfway, the results can be awesome.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>I strongly believe that people with autism should be \u2018met halfway\u2019. Usually, I mean that society needs to make a genuine effort to meet us where we are, rather than simply tolerate us because they have to.<\/p>\n<p>Occasionally, I mean that <em>we<\/em> need to do the moving too, rather than expect everyone else to go the whole way. (That part, obviously, depends on the individual\u2019s capabilities, circumstances, and often anxieties too.)<\/p>\n<p>Right now, I mean both at the same time.<\/p>\n<p>At my very first Kindercamp, way back in 2006, I had forgotten most of the German I had learned at school. And the German I was taught (which focussed more on buying train tickets and booking hotel rooms) was totally inadequate for socialising with Germans and working with their kids.<\/p>\n<p>The staff were very quick to notice that my German was crap, but that I was trying very hard. So they met me halfway. Everything that needed translating was translated for me, but at the same time I was given opportunities to reinforce my German.<\/p>\n<p>Ted would later say that one of his proudest moments of knowing me came halfway through the camp, when the German staff were handing out badges for achievements. Out of nowhere, I stood up and gave a short speech about how brave this nine-year-old boy was (for having the confidence to play the drum in the camp band in front of everyone), and presented him with his badge. Everything I said was in German\u2026 one week after literally forgetting the phrase for \u201cwhat\u2019s your name?\u201d.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_595\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-595\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-595 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/0810_7meFreddy-e1441044204631-300x186.jpg\" alt=\"And on the right, me at 20. Because any excuse. (Oh, and yes- any pictures here of individual children are shared with the permission of the camp staff and the children and\/or parents. Because, you know, I\u2019m not stupid.)\" width=\"300\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/0810_7meFreddy-e1441044204631-300x186.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/0810_7meFreddy-e1441044204631-1024x633.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/0810_7meFreddy-e1441044204631.jpg 1664w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-595\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">And on the right, me at 20. Because any excuse.<br \/>(Oh, and yes- any pictures here of individual children are shared with the permission of the camp staff and the children and\/or parents. Because duh.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>If they\u2019d not translated anything, I\u2019d have crashed and burned in that camp. If they\u2019d insisted on everything being in English, I\u2019d have learned nothing.<\/p>\n<p>As it was, they met me where I needed to be met. And to this day, Kindercamp 2006 remains the best two weeks of my whole life.<\/p>\n<p>Nowadays, I can go for days at a time at Kindercamp without saying an English word. But they still translate anything that I haven\u2019t understood. After nine years they are still \u2018meeting me halfway\u2019, although they don\u2019t have to travel quite as far these days.<\/p>\n<p>There was only one year that they got it wrong\u2026<\/p>\n<h1><strong>2: Underestimating can patronise, and overestimating can crush.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>The worst things about amazing movies are their rubbish sequels. Some movies can be so mind-blowingly incredible that the follow-ups are doomed from the start. I don\u2019t think Terminator 3 was a bad film at all, but the world hated it for not matching the first two.<\/p>\n<p>So I returned to Kindercamp in 2007 with my expectations appropriately lowered. I hoped it would be good, but knew it would not match the epic awesomeness of 2006.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, this camp wasn\u2019t a Terminator 3. It wasn\u2019t even a Jurassic Park: The Lost World.<\/p>\n<p>This camp was bloody Highlander 2- so bad that even its own subsequent movies pretend it doesn\u2019t exist. (I do the same- I deliberately forget about 2007 every time I go back there.)<\/p>\n<p>Why? Because the expectations of me were wrong. I returned to Falckensteinerstrand as the sole Englishman (my Boys&#8217; Brigade company held their own camp that year), and people expected me to function alongside all the German staff without all the previous support. This led to me not having a clue about what was going on, and people thinking I was lazy since I wasn\u2019t in the right places at the right times.<\/p>\n<p>I have never been underestimated on that camp, which is brilliant. But being overestimated was horrible.<\/p>\n<p>The moral of the story? Setting high targets is extremely important and can enable people to do great things (learning difficulties or not). But if you\u2019re going to set huge targets, you\u2019d better be on hand to offer support just in case they need it.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>3: Comfort zones expand surprisingly easily, <em>if you let them.<\/em><\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>Skipping forward to 2014, and the craziest start to a camp I\u2019ve ever had.<\/p>\n<p>I arrived at Kindercamp a couple of days after it started, due to my Boys&#8217; Brigade&#8217;s camp finishing in the Lake District the day before. (Yes, a week with teenagers in the Lake District then a fortnight in Falckensteinerstrand, with one night in between. I was a machine.)<\/p>\n<p>When I arrived, I put my bags down and was greeted with: \u201cok Chris, tonight\u2019s the Nachtwanderung [\u2018night-wander\u2019: a game that involves completing tasks in a forest in the dead of night]. There are eight kids in your tent group, and they\u2019re not the best-behaved bunch so they need you with them. Oh, by the way- they talk extremely fast in a foreign language, two of them have ADHD, and none of them have ever met you before. Have fun!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ok, that wasn\u2019t literally what they said, but it would have been accurate.<\/p>\n<p>The funny thing was, I was perfectly happy with it. The staff knew I would be. The Nachtwanderung came and went and I had no problem keeping control of those eight kids.<\/p>\n<p>That night, it really struck me how much my comfort zone had expanded since my first Kindercamp. (For bonus points, bear in mind that my second bout of anxiety therapy was unceremoniously terminated a few weeks before Kindercamp 2014.)<\/p>\n<p>A week later, I was unexpectedly driving a minibus full of kids up and down the Autobahn. It was my first ever time driving a minibus, or left hand drive, or on the <del>right<\/del> wrong side of the road!<\/p>\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_604\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-604\" style=\"width: 838px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-604\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bulli-1024x227.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;I'm driving on the right, and everything about this journey is wrong.&quot; &quot;So far during this [aptly named] Survival Excursion I've survived two German roundabouts.&quot; &quot;How do you do this? How does a whole country do this??&quot;\" width=\"838\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bulli-1024x227.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bulli-300x66.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 838px) 100vw, 838px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-604\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;I&#8217;m driving on the right, and everything about this journey is wrong.&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;So far during this [aptly named] Survival Excursion I&#8217;ve survived two German roundabouts.&#8221;<br \/>&#8220;How do you do this? How does a <em>whole country<\/em> do this??&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>Part of the reason I ended up in the driving seat was because we were short on adults who met the terms of the insurance (being over 25 with a European Union driver\u2019s license).<\/p>\n<p>But the biggest reason was because I was willing to challenge myself. Heck, that\u2019s one of the main reasons why I go to this camp at all.<\/p>\n<p>Right at the start of my teaching course, when plenty of us were nervous about standing at the front of the classroom, we were given this word of advice from our course leader. It has stuck with me ever since.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h2><strong>Move out of your comfort zone, and your comfort zone will follow.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Trust me, as the weird kid with no leadership skills who grew up and <em>passed<\/em> that course, those words are true.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>4: Difference and change are sometimes beautiful.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>For an Aspie, I respond surprisingly well to change. I don\u2019t know whether I just got lucky with my neurology, or whether the stress of change was beaten out by years of working with kids. (Flexibility is vital in teaching: some lessons are vastly improved by deviating from the plan halfway through, as long as you\u2019re adapting to meet the children\u2019s needs.)<\/p>\n<p>But in my first Kindercamp, I found that the Germans ran camps very differently to back home.<\/p>\n<p>Examples:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Staff versus kids football games are totally allowed (whilst banned in Britain for safety reasons). \u2026And they get slightly competitive.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of saying grace before eating, they <em>sing<\/em> it<em>.<\/em>\u00a0Always.<\/li>\n<li>It is perfectly acceptable to give shoulder-rides to the children while walking somewhere. As a teacher, this felt alien to me.<\/li>\n<li>It is <em>also<\/em> perfectly acceptable for a child to wake up a sleeping staff member by dumping a jellyfish on their face. And (sorry Jonathan), it\u2019s also extremely funny.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So, with all these culture differences, how on Earth did I cope?<\/p>\n<p><em>Because the camp was awesome!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The differences added to our experiences, rather than took away. When I made myself open to the possibility of things being different, I didn\u2019t reach any forgone conclusions that any changes would <em>have <\/em>to be uncomfortable. Some changes are genuine improvements, and I was able to see them that way.<\/p>\n<p>(In my opinion, there is far too much emphasis on how to help autistic people <em>cope<\/em> with change. There\u2019s no discussion about even the slightest possibility of us <em>enjoying<\/em> change\u2026 and maybe that itself stops us from being encouraged to enjoy it.)<\/p>\n<p>That said, it does help to find the things that are exactly the same. Like the children, for example.<\/p>\n<p>People ask me what it\u2019s like working with German kids. Honestly, it\u2019s the same as working with kids in general, just in a different language. They stay awake whispering all night thinking the adults can\u2019t hear them, they jump between loving the camp and suddenly being homesick, and they wear the same clothes five days running. They\u2019re kids.<\/p>\n<p>And since they\u2019re the primary reason for the camp\u2019s existence, their similarities make it easier to overlook some of the differences.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_593\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-593\" style=\"width: 360px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-593 \" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_4061-e1441046005815-300x207.jpg\" alt=\"Possibly my favourite Kindercamp photo ever. All three of these guys are awesome, and the boys face sums up how joyful the camp is even on a normal day.\" width=\"360\" height=\"249\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_4061-e1441046005815-300x207.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_4061-e1441046005815-1024x706.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-593\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Possibly my favourite Kindercamp photo ever. All three of these people\u00a0are wonderful, and the boy&#8217;s face sums up how joyful the camp is even on a completely average day.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1><strong>5: If you want to defeat your weaknesses, face them.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>I often say that working on Kindercamp is like having Asperger\u2019s <em>twice<\/em>: on top of struggling with non-verbal communication as I often do, being in Germany affects my verbal understanding too.<\/p>\n<p>But I get on well as a staff member anyway, largely because:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The kids are under no illusion about how much I care about them, even if my words are stunted and clumsy.<\/li>\n<li>Believe it or not, I\u2019m actually extremely funny.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Or at least, funny by the kids\u2019 standards. And never underestimate how far humour can take you.<\/p>\n<p>But #3, the most significant one, is that <em>I try very hard, regardless of my shortcomings<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, if you want to improve your nonverbal communication, there\u2019s no better way than working with children who don\u2019t speak your language. It\u2019s the best practice I\u2019ve ever had.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve already outlined the ways I\u2019ve confronted my weaknesses on Kindercamp- diving into the language, presenting prizes to kids, and driving a wrong-sided minibus down a road with no legal speed limit.<\/p>\n<p>Honestly, writing this article is opening my eyes to how much this camp has truly built me up.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_601\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-601\" style=\"width: 250px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-601 \" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bibellese-e1441044748585-293x300.jpg\" alt=\"One actual good memory from 2007- me doing the Bible reading in German.\" width=\"250\" height=\"256\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bibellese-e1441044748585-293x300.jpg 293w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bibellese-e1441044748585-60x60.jpg 60w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/bibellese-e1441044748585.jpg 352w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-601\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">One actual good memory from 2007- me doing the Bible reading in German.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1><strong>6: As I always say, find a place where you can play to your strengths.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>This is one of the very first pieces of advice I always give to autistic people. Or people in general. In the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/autisticnotweird\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Patreon supporters&#8217; group<\/a> we have an &#8220;Autistic Not Weird drinking game&#8221;- the first rule being &#8220;take a shot whenever Chris says &#8220;play to your strengths&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks largely to my Boys&#8217; Brigade company, movie editing is one of my strengths. (Our young people have made a horror flick with Teletubbies. We\u2019ve also made a nice little movie called The Cuddly Games: our own version of The Hunger Games where the fighters were all cuddly toys. It really helps that my odd sense of humour aligns so well with theirs.)<\/p>\n<p>Now, this camp has the onsite technology to make Tagesvideos (\u2018daily videos\u2019, although strictly speaking they\u2019re not daily). And in recent years, I\u2019ve been in charge of them. I take a load of funny photos and videos during the day, edit them together over music, and show it to the kids last thing before bed.<\/p>\n<p>In the Tagesvideos, I\u2019ve found a place where I\u2019m not only playing to my strengths, but also genuinely adding to the camp and the enjoyment of the kids. People are warmly appreciative of the work I do, and (just like those priceless moments when a child on the spectrum proves themselves capable of something that <em>none<\/em> of the adults in the room can do), it\u2019s nice to be noticed for your talents rather than your setbacks.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_600\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-600\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-600 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8729-e1441044837569-300x214.jpg\" alt=\"Oh, and I\u2019m apparently the best goalkeeper on camp. Despite being English.\" width=\"300\" height=\"214\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8729-e1441044837569-300x214.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8729-e1441044837569-1024x731.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-600\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Oh, and I\u2019m apparently the best goalkeeper on camp. Despite being English.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h1><strong>7: You don\u2019t need words to make friends!<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-594\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG5264-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"RIMG5264\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG5264-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG5264-1024x768.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This kid is awesome.<\/p>\n<p>I met him for the first time last year, and we got on fantastically well. He was a cheeky lad with a wild but endearing sense of humour. I was a cheeky adult with a wild but endearing sense of humour. Awesomeness ensued.<\/p>\n<p>This year, I was delighted when he came back. But the most striking moment of his arrival was when I spoke to his mother. She said \u201c<em>we\u2019re so glad you\u2019re here. All we\u2019ve been hearing for the last three days is \u2018I really hope Chris will be there again\u2019.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Wow.<\/p>\n<p>Think about that for a second. Last year, most of our conversations were very clumsy, and a lot of our communication was nonverbal. Yes, I speak German, but holding a conversation with an excitable eleven-year-old in a foreign language is tricky to keep up for two weeks.<\/p>\n<p>But, he was excited to see me again. It wasn\u2019t my words that did that.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_592\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-592\" style=\"width: 225px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-592\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_3303-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"(Hallo- wenn du dieses Bild nicht magst, kann ich es nat\u00fcrlich \u00e4ndern. ;) )\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_3303-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_3303-768x1024.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-592\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">(Hallo- wenn du dieses Bild nicht magst, kann ich es nat\u00fcrlich \u00e4ndern. \ud83d\ude09 )<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Also, I\u2019ll forever remember our first day in 2006, and the nerves of our teenagers as they entered a camp full of German kids, and suddenly remembered they knew zero German words between them.<\/p>\n<p>They walked onto the volleyball court. A few metres away, one of the German lads picked up the volleyball and looked at them. They nodded, and a game spontaneously began.<\/p>\n<p>Then others joined in. Loads of others. Everyone was enjoying themselves, playing and laughing in the same language.<\/p>\n<p>Twenty minutes passed, then one of my boys came up to me and said \u201cChris, I think I\u2019ve got more friends in Germany than I have in England!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yes, having communication difficulties can suck, whether it\u2019s a foreign language barrier or a genuine speech difficulty. But just occasionally, words are overrated. (I\u2019ve watched severely autistic nonverbal children making friends with each other, simply by communicating in the ways they\u2019re comfortable with.)<\/p>\n<h1><strong>8: Everything I said about appropriateness is true.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/why_do_autistic_people_struggle\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">My last article<\/a> talked about how appropriate and inappropriate depend on which part of the Earth you\u2019re standing on. This camp proves my point, and it goes beyond shoulder-rides and jellyfish alarm clocks.<\/p>\n<p>I spent my first two Kindercamps giving very dirty looks to any child I heard using the word \u201cSchei\u00dfe!\u201d (which means exactly what you think it does). \u2026Then I learned that in Germany everybody says that word without a problem, kids included.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, the Germans have exactly the same standards of moral right and wrong, despite appropriateness being as vague as usual.<\/p>\n<p>Stick with right and wrong, everyone. You\u2019ll get much further.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>9: Saying goodbye never gets easier.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>You\u2019d think it would, after the literally thousands of kids I\u2019ve said goodbye to over the years. But it doesn\u2019t. You just find more effective ways of pretending you\u2019re ok with it.<\/p>\n<p>Autistic people are infamous for the totally false stereotype of not having empathy, and an inability to attach to people they care about. (For the record, failing to spot the signs of sadness is NOT the same as being unable to empathise with a sad person. Duh.)<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve actually found that the reverse is the problem. If I fitted the false stereotype, saying bye to the kids at the end of camp would be easy. But it\u2019s <em>not<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>And I can tell you, from far too much experience, that the most painful part of saying goodbye to the children isn&#8217;t\u00a0the thought that it may be goodbye forever. The most painful part is knowing that even if you <em>do <\/em>see them again, they won\u2019t be the same people. They\u2019ll be totally different humans to the ones you cared about in their past; taller, deeper-voiced people who happen to share some common memories with you. But the child will no longer exist.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_597\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-597\" style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-597\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG4303-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"This lad has been in my tent group twice, and I\u2019ve known his sister for three Kindercamps. But, since each region in Germany changes their summer holidays every few years, 2015 was their last ever Kindercamp. I\u2019ll be honest- it was difficult saying goodbye to them. They\u2019re wonderful kids. Disclaimer: child not actually driving. Even by German standards, that would be considered inappropriate.\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG4303-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/RIMG4303-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-597\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">This lad has been in my tent group twice, and I\u2019ve known his sister for three Kindercamps. But, since each region in Germany changes their summer holidays every few years, 2015 was their last ever Kindercamp. I\u2019ll be honest- it was difficult saying goodbye to them. They\u2019re wonderful kids.<br \/>Disclaimer: child not actually driving. Even by German standards, that would be considered inappropriate.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But it\u2019s worth keeping the faith that they\u2019ll be just as awesome as adults. My staff partner for our tent group this year was someone I worked with when he was a child. It\u2019s the same for half a dozen other staff too (and I\u2019m trying to resist mentioning how old that makes me feel. Oops, too late.) Now they\u2019re old enough to work on the camp themselves, and they haven\u2019t lost any brilliance by venturing into adulthood.<\/p>\n<p>The kid driving that car will be an awesome adult one day too. I\u2019m sure of it.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>10: Give us opportunities and watch what happens next.<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>I don\u2019t even need to back this up with anything. You\u2019ve just read an article by an autistic man who <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">copes with<\/span> enjoys working on a camp with 80 German children.<\/p>\n<p>People can throw round phrases like \u2018special needs\u2019 and \u2018learning difficulties\u2019 as much as they want, but the principle is the same for all humans. Hide opportunities from people and they won\u2019t develop. Offer them the right opportunities at the right time, and the results will surprise you.<\/p>\n<h1><strong>In conclusion:<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>Ok, the main points again.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Autistic people should be met halfway, even if both sides need to move.<\/li>\n<li>Anyone who sets high targets should be on hand for support, in case the learner needs it.<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMove out of your comfort zone, and your comfort zone will follow.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>If you can, try to focus on enjoying change rather than just coping with it.<\/li>\n<li>Challenge your weaknesses until they stop being weaknesses.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/growing-up-autistic-advice-for-teenagers-with-asperger-syndrome-or-mild-autism\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Like I said before<\/a>, find a place where you can play to your strengths.<\/li>\n<li>Words aren\u2019t the only way to communicate.<\/li>\n<li>Appropriate and inappropriate are <em><a href=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/why_do_autistic_people_struggle\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">still<\/a> <\/em>overrated.<\/li>\n<li>Saying goodbye is not easy, so don\u2019t feel guilty when you find it difficult.<\/li>\n<li>You won\u2019t believe what you\u2019re capable of when the right opportunities come your way.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>I want to tell you so much more.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about how the staff are such a close group of friends: how I lived with two of them outside of camp for a week whilst in Germany for a chess tournament, and met up with several others while I was there.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about the teenager who\u2019s such a high-spirited clown that he literally went to hospital laughing at his own broken finger\u2026 yet the moment he sees a crying child he\u2019ll drop everything to help them and doesn\u2019t care which of his friends are watching. And all the other kids who are their own kinds of wonderful.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about how the camp once saved my Christianity.<\/p>\n<p>I want to tell you the story about the shooting stars.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about that beautiful final evening, and the extra days I spent there after the kids had gone this year, simply to enjoy myself and explore the coast and have lunches of ice cream followed by fries with mayonnaise followed by a small bottle of J\u00e4germeister because I\u2019m an adult now and I get to call the shots.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about how emotional I get when I realise that even though Ted and Mary are dead, their influence lives on with such joy and vibrance and beauty.<\/p>\n<p>But of course, this is an article. Not a novel. So I\u2019ll finish with this.<\/p>\n<p>The Germans have the word \u2018Heimat\u2019 to describe what we sometimes use the word \u2018home\u2019 for- when talking about a place where the heart is, whether you live there or not. Like I said, mine is the Jugendgruppenzeltplatz on Falckensteinerstrand. Not only have I learned how to work abroad with autism, but the camp itself has become my Heimat.<\/p>\n<p>And to any of my German friends who are reading this: danke sehr, dass ihr mir diese Gelegenheiten gegeben haben. Ich bin ein voller Person heutzutage, weil Kindercamp in mein Leben ist.<\/p>\n<p>Gottes segen. Bis n\u00e4chstes Jahr.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-591\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8918-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_8918\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8918-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/IMG_8918-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n-\r\n\r\n<br><em><strong>Chris Bonnello is a national and international autism speaker, available to lead talks and training sessions from the perspective of an autistic former teacher. For further information please <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/chrisbonnello.com\/speaking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">click here<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0(opens in new window).<\/em><\/strong>\r\n<br>\r\n<br>\r\n\r\n<p><strong><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-2246\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-300x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/LOGO_Autistic-Not-Weird-large-logo-flattened-125x125.png 125w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/chris-bonnello\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Chris Bonnello on LinkedIn<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n<br><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/autisticnotweird\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Autistic Not Weird on Facebook<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n<br><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@AutisticNotWeird\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Autistic Not Weird on YouTube<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n<br><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/autisticnotweird\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Autistic Not Weird on Instagram<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n<\/strong>\r\n<br>\r\n\r\n<br><a href=\"http:\/\/www.patreon.com\/autisticnotweird\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1411 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/patreonbutton-300x125.png\" alt=\"patreonbutton\" width=\"300\" height=\"125\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/patreonbutton-300x125.png 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/patreonbutton.png 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>\r\n\r\n<p>Copyright\u00a0\u00a9 Chris Bonnello 2015-2025\r\n\u00a0\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/chrisbonnello.com\/underdogs\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/cover04-1024x396.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"750\" height=\"290\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2579\" srcset=\"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/cover04-1024x396.png 1024w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/cover04-300x116.png 300w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/cover04-768x297.png 768w, https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/cover04.png 1600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/>\r\nAre you tired of characters with special needs being tokenised and based on stereotypes, or being the victims rather than the heroes? This novel series may interest you!<\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Underdogs<\/em>, a near-future dystopia series where the heroes are teenagers with special needs, is a character-driven war story which pitches twelve people against an army of millions, balancing intense action with a deeply developed neurodiverse cast.<\/p><\/a>\r\n<p>Book one can be found here:\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Underdogs-Chris-Bonnello\/dp\/1789650356\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Amazon UK<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3IGFMdX\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Amazon US<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Underdogs-Chris-Bonnello\/dp\/1789650356\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Amazon CA<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Underdogs-Chris-Bonnello\/dp\/1789650356\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Amazon AU<\/a> \r\n<br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.audible.co.uk\/pd\/Underdogs-Audiobook\/1528884183\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Audible (audiobook version)<\/a>\r\n<br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/45836196-underdogs\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Review page on Goodreads<\/a><\/strong>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>People often ask each other where their \u2018second home\u2019 is. When I tell them that mine is the Jugendgruppenzeltplatz on Falckensteinerstrand, they look at me funny. This is Kindercamp&#8211; a watersports camp run by the German Methodist Church. It serves up to 80 children each year (followed immediately by Jugendcamp for 60 teenagers), teaching them surfing, sailing, kayaking and more in a caring Christian environment; camped on a beach just metres from the best sailing waters in Europe. I\u2019ve been [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2956,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,48],"tags":[13,14,15,16,55,19,96,80,95],"class_list":["post-589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autism","category-everything","tag-asperger-syndrome","tag-aspergers","tag-autism-2","tag-autistic","tag-children","tag-christianity","tag-germany","tag-kids","tag-kindercamp"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=589"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3407,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589\/revisions\/3407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2956"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autisticnotweird.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}