Second Chances
Characters: Kate/Sayid
Rating: PG
Words: 1151
Summary: After leaving the island, Kate and Sayid find themselves together in their aloneness.
A/N: Written for
aboutbunnies for Five Acts; prompt 'second chances'
There wasn’t time to think about how it would all work out, but even if there had been, Kate probably wouldn’t have expected it to go quite like this.
Carole Littleton couldn’t have expected it to go like this either. She hadn’t been prepared to open her door one day to a wild-haired, wild-eyed daughter, plus six other equally broken people with nowhere else to go. Well, technically, five broken people; Frank’s not only not broken, but also long gone, back to restart the kind of normal life the rest of them will never have; Kate’s sure he’ll pop up if they ever need him again, but she has a feeling, deep in her toes, that it’s over. For real this time.
They’re living on top of one another just as they always have. In that way, nothing’s changed.
But in other ways, everything is staggeringly different. It isn’t hard to tell things are falling apart, that they won’t be together forever this time. Kate’s overheard Miles, Sawyer and Richard having whispered, closeted discussions about getting their own place, about leaving Australia and heading back to the States. No one’s announced anything yet, but from their guilty, shifty expressions, she knows it’s coming soon. Claire’s mother will probably be relieved to have these random men out from under her, but Kate feels more and more alone. She reminds herself that Sawyer and Miles had three years together. And she’s realizing that even though she was always the one with the gun, she’s never actually been one of the guys. There’s been too much drama for that.
And that isn’t all. Claire’s recovery has been swift. One look at her mother and her baby and her hometown, and, well, that was it. Her hair’s been lopped off, and now she looks and acts even more like a sweet fairytale princess than before. Kate had thought (hoped) there would be a long, gradual healing process in which she’d be instrumental. She tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt to see Aaron bonding so immediately with his mother. She tries to pretend he’ll always be hers, too, but deep down she knows he can’t be. She’s on her way to becoming Aunt Kate, with an open door policy and visits, but he isn’t her child. Things are as they should be, even if it’s painful.
She’s always been good at pretending. No one seems to notice she’s dying inside.
Well, maybe one person notices, but he’s too busy actually dying inside to say anything. He’s the one Carole is most nervous around---more than mystical medium Miles or two-hundred-year-old Richard. Sayid takes his meals politely, sits in the living room with everyone, runs errands as requested, but he’s a million miles away.
Sawyer keeps saying he’ll snap out of it sometime, but Kate knows the problem is that he’s already snapped out of it.
“It wasn’t you,” she tells him one night after everyone else has gone to bed, and he’s still sitting in a dark corner of the living room. She curls her legs up underneath her and leans into him. “It was Locke.”
“If none of me remained, then how was I able to come back from it? I made a choice, Kate. I knew what I was doing.” His voice is hollow and would be spooky in the darkness, of only it weren’t so hopelessly sad. “I was ready to kill my friend---shoot Desmond in the head in cold blood---and for… for what?” He chokes, as if remembering some story she hasn’t heard before.
Kate strokes his arm, squeezes his leg, tries to make him see. “But you didn’t. And you wouldn’t have.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know you.”
Ignoring her, he replies, “I was given another chance at life. A chance to change. I did not deserve it.”
“Everyone deserves a second chance.” She has to believe it of him, because she needs to believe it of herself, too.
“I have lost track of how many chances I have been given. It always ends the same.”
She doesn’t get a word out of him after that. When he finally joins her in the bedroom they share (by default, since Sawyer would be inappropriate, and Miles and Richard are suddenly quite close), he switches off the light and lies tense on top of the sheets.
The days go by, each one the same as the next, but slightly more unraveled. Aaron starts to look at Claire more and more as his mother. Sayid continues to brood. Carole continues to put on a brave face despite tripping over people every minute of the day. Kate feels less and less like she has any place here.
She doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the boys are hardly being subtle about their whispering anymore, and their voices coming through the wall to her bedroom wake her up. She notices that Sayid isn’t beside her.
She knows there’s no way she’s going back to sleep, so she creeps downstairs to find him. He isn’t in the living room or the kitchen or on the back porch where he’s recently taken to sitting. She’s just about to assume he went to the bathroom, and head back to bed, when she hears a click at the front of the house.
Through the window, she sees his back in the moonlight. She runs out after him, careful to make even less noise than he did.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she whispers, savagely, pulling him back by the elbow. “You’re leaving?”
“I don’t deserve to be here. I’m sorry, Kate. If I had told you I was leaving, you would have tried to stop me.”
“Damn right I would have.”
They stand together in the moonlight; she’s all challenge and he is all resignation---but she knows better than to try to make him stay.
And that’s when she gets it. She knows what she has always been supposed to do. She took the other paths before, and so did he, but now… now they’re finally going to follow through. He left to go it alone once, taking his leave on a beach with a few sweet words and kiss on the hand. She should have stopped him then; she’s going to go with him now.
“Wait for five minutes. Don’t go anywhere,” she begs.
“Why?”
“Just promise.”
“I will wait. But in five minutes…”
She runs back into the house and tiptoes up the stairs. None of them have accumulated many things. The basics are easily thrown into a backpack.
As she tiptoes down the stairs, she knows she’s making the right decision.
When she comes out of the house, Sayid takes in her backpack and he understands. “Where shall we go?”
Kate shrugs. “Does it matter?”
She twines her fingers with his as they begin walking together. This isn’t running; this is going home.
Rating: PG
Words: 1151
Summary: After leaving the island, Kate and Sayid find themselves together in their aloneness.
A/N: Written for
aboutbunnies for Five Acts; prompt 'second chances'There wasn’t time to think about how it would all work out, but even if there had been, Kate probably wouldn’t have expected it to go quite like this.
Carole Littleton couldn’t have expected it to go like this either. She hadn’t been prepared to open her door one day to a wild-haired, wild-eyed daughter, plus six other equally broken people with nowhere else to go. Well, technically, five broken people; Frank’s not only not broken, but also long gone, back to restart the kind of normal life the rest of them will never have; Kate’s sure he’ll pop up if they ever need him again, but she has a feeling, deep in her toes, that it’s over. For real this time.
They’re living on top of one another just as they always have. In that way, nothing’s changed.
But in other ways, everything is staggeringly different. It isn’t hard to tell things are falling apart, that they won’t be together forever this time. Kate’s overheard Miles, Sawyer and Richard having whispered, closeted discussions about getting their own place, about leaving Australia and heading back to the States. No one’s announced anything yet, but from their guilty, shifty expressions, she knows it’s coming soon. Claire’s mother will probably be relieved to have these random men out from under her, but Kate feels more and more alone. She reminds herself that Sawyer and Miles had three years together. And she’s realizing that even though she was always the one with the gun, she’s never actually been one of the guys. There’s been too much drama for that.
And that isn’t all. Claire’s recovery has been swift. One look at her mother and her baby and her hometown, and, well, that was it. Her hair’s been lopped off, and now she looks and acts even more like a sweet fairytale princess than before. Kate had thought (hoped) there would be a long, gradual healing process in which she’d be instrumental. She tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt to see Aaron bonding so immediately with his mother. She tries to pretend he’ll always be hers, too, but deep down she knows he can’t be. She’s on her way to becoming Aunt Kate, with an open door policy and visits, but he isn’t her child. Things are as they should be, even if it’s painful.
She’s always been good at pretending. No one seems to notice she’s dying inside.
Well, maybe one person notices, but he’s too busy actually dying inside to say anything. He’s the one Carole is most nervous around---more than mystical medium Miles or two-hundred-year-old Richard. Sayid takes his meals politely, sits in the living room with everyone, runs errands as requested, but he’s a million miles away.
Sawyer keeps saying he’ll snap out of it sometime, but Kate knows the problem is that he’s already snapped out of it.
“It wasn’t you,” she tells him one night after everyone else has gone to bed, and he’s still sitting in a dark corner of the living room. She curls her legs up underneath her and leans into him. “It was Locke.”
“If none of me remained, then how was I able to come back from it? I made a choice, Kate. I knew what I was doing.” His voice is hollow and would be spooky in the darkness, of only it weren’t so hopelessly sad. “I was ready to kill my friend---shoot Desmond in the head in cold blood---and for… for what?” He chokes, as if remembering some story she hasn’t heard before.
Kate strokes his arm, squeezes his leg, tries to make him see. “But you didn’t. And you wouldn’t have.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know you.”
Ignoring her, he replies, “I was given another chance at life. A chance to change. I did not deserve it.”
“Everyone deserves a second chance.” She has to believe it of him, because she needs to believe it of herself, too.
“I have lost track of how many chances I have been given. It always ends the same.”
She doesn’t get a word out of him after that. When he finally joins her in the bedroom they share (by default, since Sawyer would be inappropriate, and Miles and Richard are suddenly quite close), he switches off the light and lies tense on top of the sheets.
The days go by, each one the same as the next, but slightly more unraveled. Aaron starts to look at Claire more and more as his mother. Sayid continues to brood. Carole continues to put on a brave face despite tripping over people every minute of the day. Kate feels less and less like she has any place here.
She doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the boys are hardly being subtle about their whispering anymore, and their voices coming through the wall to her bedroom wake her up. She notices that Sayid isn’t beside her.
She knows there’s no way she’s going back to sleep, so she creeps downstairs to find him. He isn’t in the living room or the kitchen or on the back porch where he’s recently taken to sitting. She’s just about to assume he went to the bathroom, and head back to bed, when she hears a click at the front of the house.
Through the window, she sees his back in the moonlight. She runs out after him, careful to make even less noise than he did.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she whispers, savagely, pulling him back by the elbow. “You’re leaving?”
“I don’t deserve to be here. I’m sorry, Kate. If I had told you I was leaving, you would have tried to stop me.”
“Damn right I would have.”
They stand together in the moonlight; she’s all challenge and he is all resignation---but she knows better than to try to make him stay.
And that’s when she gets it. She knows what she has always been supposed to do. She took the other paths before, and so did he, but now… now they’re finally going to follow through. He left to go it alone once, taking his leave on a beach with a few sweet words and kiss on the hand. She should have stopped him then; she’s going to go with him now.
“Wait for five minutes. Don’t go anywhere,” she begs.
“Why?”
“Just promise.”
“I will wait. But in five minutes…”
She runs back into the house and tiptoes up the stairs. None of them have accumulated many things. The basics are easily thrown into a backpack.
As she tiptoes down the stairs, she knows she’s making the right decision.
When she comes out of the house, Sayid takes in her backpack and he understands. “Where shall we go?”
Kate shrugs. “Does it matter?”
She twines her fingers with his as they begin walking together. This isn’t running; this is going home.