The Journal That Goes to 11

A Question for My Metal Friends

atillathehung — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 06:49:04 GMT

So, can you name some songs that have the word "walk" in the title or prominently in the lyrics? (And I'll mail an open can of sardines to the first smartass who says "yes, I can" or anything similar without actually identifying the song.)

This is Me #2 - My Friend, Static Electricity

atillathehung — Mon, 07 Dec 2015 04:25:40 GMT

I grew up in a wonderful era when you could still have shag carpet in your house and your friends wouldn't mock you.

Let me tell you, that shit produced oodles of static electricity. I knew that my asshole older brothers could shuffle their feet through the carpet and electrocute my little hide with a sneaky poke of the finger. (The eldest of the Two Assholes absolutely loved electricity as a form of mischief ... I was 3 years old when he gave me a 9-volt battery and said "put your tongue on that - it'll taste like raspberry.")

Still, I didn't know all the stuff static electricity could do, and I nearly shit myself (I was still not 10 yet) when I shuffled through some carpet, walked close to this lamp thing my mother had recently bought, and watched all these crazy hangy-fringey things rise up toward my completely of their own volition like a bunch of tiny little cobras!

If the phrase WTF had been around, I definitely would've said it. I had never in my young life seen anything like that. Fortunately, Eldest Asshole - who was, in reality, the least-asshole of the Two Assholes - explained it to me. I am now somewhat ashamed to admit that I found way too much entertainment value in that lamp. I would build up a charge and raise my hand at the fringe-snakes like Luke Skywalker and make those little bastards move all over.

The scary thing is, I'd probably still do that today if I had that lamp ... and floors that weren't entirely made of cork and ceramic tile.

In Bruges

atillathehung — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 14:31:58 GMT

Thank the heavens, the Ethiopian food farts are wearing off.

I've been drinking a lot of Belgian beers, and am jonesing for a skunky, mean, West Coast IPA.

Tough Times for Felines

atillathehung — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 03:53:00 GMT

It's a rough year for furry feline friends. First, Chairman Meow died. Today, it was a good friend's cat. Another friend's cat is ailing.

Man, this always makes me sad. Appreciate your furry friends, ya'll, no matter how annoying they might've just been. Because it's better to have a live buddy who drives you a little batshit now and again than to not have that little buddy at all.

The Mis-Balled Pomeranian

atillathehung — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 05:30:27 GMT

Well, naturally ... who else is going to be seated for a four-hour flight behind a Pomeranian with mismatched testicles but but yours truly? And really, I should be required to wear a warning sticker: "Caution: Do not tell this man about your Pomeranian's mismatched testicles ... unless you want him to blog about it/them."

World Cup

atillathehung — Fri, 04 Jul 2014 04:01:15 GMT

These are my World Cup tickets. Much fancier than I expected.
And the usher people didn't do anything stupid like have to tear part of it off. They make a cool souvenir.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Did James Horner Rip Somebody Off?

atillathehung — Fri, 09 May 2014 03:09:29 GMT

So I'm listening to the soundtrack to "Alexander Nevsky" right now. There are a bunch of bits in Battle on the Ice that sound way too much like the score from "The Wrath of Khan."

Makes me wonder if James Horner said "Da, Comrade, I will rip off your riffs."

headless Santa

atillathehung — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 23:39:16 GMT

These guys just pile-drived the fun back into Christmas for me. Two goofballs, one motorbike, one headless Santa ... they erased decades of seething about Salvation Army bell ringers and the commercial crush. Well done.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

they're everywhere

atillathehung — Mon, 02 Dec 2013 11:35:26 GMT

Four days in Vietnam, and I've developed a "thousand-motorbike" stare. Good God ...

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Halloween and styrofoam

atillathehung — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 19:03:39 GMT

Want to have fun? Use a Dremel
tool to shave a bunch of styrofoam. The spray of particles is like jizz ... it gets everywhere.

I still have some work to do on the end result (astronaut helmets). But it's a good start.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

airplane 3

atillathehung — Sat, 19 Oct 2013 06:18:29 GMT

I hate sequels, prequels and reboots. But I would actually watch a third Airplane movie. Sarah just suggested a great scene - the plane reaches 10,000 feet, the flight attendant says you can use electronic defines ... and then someone whips out a vibrator and goes to town.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

brewing stuff

atillathehung — Tue, 10 Sep 2013 20:49:21 GMT

I'm thinking of brewing
mead with agave nectar instead of honey. Are there any factors I should consider in trying to adapt a regular recipe?

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Curling Collision

atillathehung — Sun, 08 Sep 2013 19:06:05 GMT

Yesterday was one of the few times I've felt any genuine fear that I fucked myself up good.

What was I doing, you ask? CURLING! That's right, CURLING!

There I was, sweeping a rock. The next thing I knew, my body was parallel to the ice at an altitude of (what felt like) 48.2 feet. I had that Wile E. Coyote moment - the one where he hovers in midair after he runs off the cliff, realizes what happened, waves good-bye and plummets - before all 205 pounds of me crashing to the ice.

Ouch.

I took a few moments to get up, shrugged it off, kept going. A few hours laters, I was pretty convinced I'd cracked up some ribs. It didn't hurt when I'd breathe, which made me feel better. Just when I moved certain ways, mostly twisting from the waist (think hula hoop style).

I'm lots better today. But shit. Yesterday, I was moving like an old man.

Todd was with me - despite starting off quite unsteady, he finished up with the look of a pretty good curling man. Made some some really nice shots. Next thing you know, he'll start saying "eh" after sentences and elongating his Os.

In totally unrelated matters, I coined a new term:

mutt curtains - The extremely large jowels of any member of a canine species. As in the mutt curtains I saw on a mastiff today. Surprised that dog doesn't trip on its jowels.

atillathehung — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 02:46:21 GMT

The light turns yellow. I downshift, brake, come to a stop next to a guy in the left-turn lane. Sarah and I look his direction at the exact same time … just as his index finger breaks the plane of his right nostril. I see the bulge in his nose as his finger corkscrews toward its quarry.

“Man! I don’t know how anyone can be a valet driver knowing people do that!” Sarah says.

“Hell, that gives me an idea,” I say. “Next time I’m forced to valet park somewhere, I’m whipping my cock out and rubbing it all over the steering wheel while the valet guy watches. We’ll see if he makes me valet park after that!”

I've tried to be subtle about this...

atillathehung — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:51:03 GMT

Attention, lurkers!

Speak up and identify yourselves.

atillathehung — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:01:41 GMT

Halt! Who goes there?

Where I answer questions

atillathehung — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 03:49:03 GMT

So you might be wondering if Hung Dynasty has posted any new songs lately. The answer?

Yarp! Listen to it at our MySpaced page. It's called "What it Means." It's still not mastered or fully mixed, but you can at least get an idea of what it sounds like.

Question 2...did my lazy ass ever go get t-shirts for the band?

Again, yarp! Got a variety of sizes, including a medium with kwigz's name on it. They're $12. If I have to ship it to you, we might have to tack on a buck or two. Oh, and we have uber-hot baby doll versions for women ... or men who happen to roll that way. Send an e-mail to hdrockaz at gmail.com if you want to fly the Hung flag. I'll even throw in some stickers.

Question 3, from trista...Did you forget my set list and stickers?

Narp. I've just been hoping to find one grody enough to amuse you. Don't worry, I won't cross the line to include anything that's chunky or includes spermatazoa or traces of liquified asparagus.

I think that covers it...

California, People!

atillathehung — Thu, 24 May 2007 15:31:37 GMT

It looks like Hung Dynasty is gonna be in LA July 14 to play at The Good Hurt.

Mark your calendars and bring lots of friends!

We'll also be in Prescott June 29 at Sundance's Place. But that won't interest you Californians too much...