a crow moans in horny recovery.

Grey

athrill — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:45:46 GMT

When I stop feeling like emotional garbage- I'll make a "real" post.

From the lovely treasureislands

Comment and I'll give you a letter. In your journal, list 10 of your favorite songs that begin with that.

G!

1. Get Me Away from here - Belle & Sebestian
2. Goats on a Boat - The Devil Wears Prada
3. Goyle's Pants - Draco & the Malfoys
4. Gotta Go My Own Way - Troy & Gabriella (High School Musical 2)
5. Glitter - Ayumi Hamasaki
6. Goodnight and Goodbye - The Jonas Brothers
7. Girl- Tori Amos
8. Girls, Be Ambitious - Miyavi
9. Give Judy My Notice - Ben Folds
10. Gimme Gimme Gimme - Black Flag

<3

athrill — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 13:27:40 GMT

Hi,

There is no such thing as monogamy on the dance floor.

And if you think there is- party foul!

So last night I went to this dance club called Emperio and let me tell you- I love Emperio Boys!!!

It was Rosa, Mel, Cory, and I and it was probably one of the greatest nights of my life and it started out lame as all stories do.

We had to schedule around so I could figure out if one my aunt would let me go, two if how I was getting there and three- what to wear.

You must keep in mind I’m still grounded.

But my aunt said yes.
I got went to the Bethesda station (which is 45 minutes away…I really didn’t know that- I guess I never timed myself when I go to Adams Morgan/Zoo) and I of course was slightly late because the TRAIN DECIDED TO HAVE ISSUES AND STOPPED MID WAY AND THEN WENT ON WITH ITS LIFE. But it was cool, I met some cool couple on the train and they were chill so it was okay.
Then I saw Meliss when I was going up the elevator of the metro and I was like pouting and she was like, “AwwwhahaIloveyou.” So it was alright because I love her too. And so Adriel gave us a ride to the club which was like a few blocks from the station. How nice of him.

Party Foul #1

Justin was there. He’s like obsessed with Rosa because she danced with him once at a party and thinks he hold claim to her frame but like- psych- he’s totally a 4 and she’s a 9 but yea, he was okay. His best friend Trey was H-h-hot! <3

So yea, dressing wise- I didn’t know how to go because Rosa was like, “I’m not sure but go knock-out but fun-last week-do last week.” And I was like I can try so I wore a dress and down played it with a low key jewelry and cut off tights. But enough about what I fucking wore when I first got there it was like lame- I was totally bored and Melissa and I agreed that it was definitely like a homecoming or something and they were playing all the latest rap songs to dance to and it was like lalalalasnorelalalasnore warming up and stuff and Meliss and I were waiting for Rosa and Cory to show up for the games to begin and they weren’t playing anything really good and so Meliss introduced me to some of her friends- Holly was such a doll! And yea it went that was for 45minutes and I was like, “Hm.” Like so they were playing the rap song, Miss New Booty, Wait-the Whisper Song (which is the song on my myspace- why? b/c I can do what I like) and so they’re playing it and then Meliss and I go get a drink and then OMG- Cory shows up and then after Cory, Miss Rosa comes and it’s a fucking reunion. It was lovely- Cory had been in California and I hadn’t seen Mel or Rosa in a week so we had some stuff to talk about.

Gossippppp

Then we danced- Cory and I got these two best friends and the guy I got had these gorgy green eyes <333 He was so cute! He also grinded me into next week but hehe!

But then all of a sudden they played this remix of that Cascada song and like we all got fucking pumped!

Let me tell you something about kids from the suburbs-

They fucking rock.

So then, there’s this platform, okay? And like its maybe two feet high and like it has springs inside and like when you stood on it, it swayed and it was pretty cool.
Then they played Daft Punk, One More Time and you don’t understand how much love I have for them…its intense. But not as intense as the platform was- it was awesome and there was a guy who worked at Emperio. This blond who’d helped me up on to the platform and he worked there and he was dancing his ass off- I mean how he had so much energy. I think someone was taking their vitamin K and/or E every day. But he was hot and yea- Jesus during One More Time (also a DJ mix)- he was so spunky I loved it so I took photos of him. It was awesome and Rosa hooked up with some guy and it was great because they totally weren’t carding because we saw this guy (tall, dark, and sexy) from Fur and we talked and chilled and then I had one goal and that was to dance with the blond. I totally didn’t and don’t give a fuck if he was gay or anything- he was awesome and he had energy and basically I wanted to feel that energy.

And so like Meliss was dancing around and basically no matter what we ended up dancing together all the time and there were freshies but at the same time the age range went from 14-20something- so interesting bunch. I think some 8th grader or something asked me to dance and I was like, “You’re like five inches shorter than me and you look like my baby cousin- sorry.” :( But really I just shrugged my shoulders and mouthed something close to no because the music was so loud.

So we regrouped and Rosa was basically, “You and the blond?”
And I was like, “Dunno- I saw him dancing with some BCC freshie and I actually think I’m prettier than her-”
“STFU bitcha- prettier- you look fucking awesome.”
I love her. I do. I really do.
So basically it was back to rap and then do you know what I hear?

“What is love?”

overhead and I freak- I love that song, WE love that song and so I went to the platform and like he was there and I beckoned him to dance with me and he did.

And I danced with him. And it was cool and to spare you the details- it was fucking awesome. And my legs hurt but time passed and I roamed, came back, roamed some more and then I heard a pulse in the music and I looked at Cory and we flipped out.

Sandstorm by Darude and that is like my ultimate get pumped song- next to Get me off by Basement Jaxx and like we got on the platform trampoline and like I’m bouncing maybe a foot and its totally crowded and stuff and it’s so funny because like I was dancing with everyone there and this is when I turned to Cory and was like there is no such thing as monogamy on the dance floor.

It just doesn’t exist.

Because take the time at Fur where it was so packed that my back was glued by heat, pressure, and sweat to this guy who was dancing close to his date and like we synchronized our bodies, sometimes he lead and sometimes I lead but at the same time I was dancing with who ever. And this may not be how you feel but I think that when everyone is so free not to care about such a thing- its so much easier to breathe even if it is in heavy pants.

At Emperio so guy had his hands on my hips and I dancing with the blond and it was incredible. The version of Sandstorm was by far the longest version I’d heard- it was like maybe 8 to 10 minutes possibly but it felt like the longest fucking fuck in the world, we were hot, sweaty, panting- Jesus it was amazing.

It was an amazing night.

Party foul #2

Last night was my sister’s birthday dinner but I didn’t find out until three hours before I was about to leave. I’m inconsiderate and I’m a bitch but you know what? When I got home I spent from 1-3 hanging out with her.

Happy Easter. <3333

Haha- Oh noes!

athrill — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 17:39:59 GMT

Heya,

So, my cell phone died today in a rootbeer accident and I nearly wanted to cry. This is the second time my cell phone died and this one was more tragic because it took me so long too get back the numbers I needed it was a lot of guessing and checking and now its ruined. This was absolutely horrible especially since I promised Tom I’d talk to him.

No, not Myspace Tom.

But oh well, life goes on.

And it does with pain.

This morning mother nature kicked in after History and I was like, “Kill me.” But it took some time and the help of AWESOME Dana Blech to get some killers. I was a happy blob though by the end of the day- death of cell phone.

But yea, so otherwise life has been good. My aunt’s a bitch but its alright. I somehow survive- yup. I’ve gotten some mixed marks recently and now I’m finishing all of my Jappy work and some old work for the semester ends tomorrow. No school Friday, yaye! So I’ve been occupying my life with random things and now the randomest of all are the OC novels. Yes, they do make OC novels- they do for all popular shows- BTVS has them, CSI has them, ATS has them, Sweet Valley High has them…etc.
But the OC ones are awesomely bad that they suck up my life and rot my brain. Not like used it or anything.

*sigh*

I actually got really into it last night and spent an hour finishing the last hundred or so pages I had to finish, all the while coaching my way through it and talking to myself about how much I want to punch Marissa in her face.

I want...more of the book but they make me want to watch the season more...

My awesomeness is back up, it was on a low point today but now its up.

Yaye.

Okay so I'm on Jason Mraz Myspace and he has this like guy in his top eight whose all, "I'm going to stare at you with my abs showing, haha."

I thought he was so funny.

And a little cute.
Way on the little cute.

Okay, Jason Mraz has a song called, "The Theme for My Myspace."

It's soooooo awesome!!!

I love Jason Mraz alot.

Yea, I said it. I listen to what I want, when I want to- check the layout if you forget.

I also happen to love JAci alot. We definitely watched Parental Control and Date my Mom together- it was pretty funny and cracked me up.

I like laughing. Makes me feel better.

I'll try make an uber real post Thursday (fancy, that?) or Friday.

Also- I decided to accept Moby's movie invite. I mean like what's the worse that could happen? Not alot. I'm definitely free until 4:30 on Friday and Break is in a week and something like that and I haven't all that much to do except homework and other IB bullshit.

I can do Homework at 3 in the morning. So yea, I just told him and he wasn't online so I definitely myspace messaged him about it because I'm lame but ICE COLD AWESOME.

Alright that's it.

Thursday
Oh yea,

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I was interviewed by Kit because she's foxy

1) If there was any event in your life that you could change, would you change it? Even if that experience helped shape you into who you are today? Why? That’s a good question- yea I would but I can’t tell you what it is because I’m taking it to my grave sadly.

2) Do you think that evil exists in the world? Or do you think that people are fundamentally good? Oh, Evil exists- I think there are people who are just pure evil but I think there is more a force that is recycled in the world- kind of like energy- you can’t make or destroy it, you can only harness and manipulate it. And we’re kind of like mediums for this force and some of us channel good, bad, and in the middle- depending on how we are. There are some innate instincts I think that are simply labeled human nature but yea.

3) Say you could read someone's mind. You see all their deepest, darkest secrets. How would you use your power? I…would…read…people’s…secrets…like I read blogs...seek out therapy and repeat.

4) What are some of your favorite books? What genre is your favorite one? The Handmaid’s Tale, A Harpy’s Thyme, Lolita, The Stranger, The Girl’s Guide to Fishing, The Sound of Waves, A Farewell to Arms, Animal Farm, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Choke, …I have more but yea, I like all kinds of book. I don’t have a favorite genre though I know I’m not always up for Scifi Fantasy stuff sometimes because the names get in the way of my better judgment but I love most genres honestly can't think of a particular one right at the moment.

5) Let's say two men (perhaps women?) fall madly in love with you. One is book-smart, gorgeous-looking, but not necessarily the nicest guy. The other is more witty than smart, funny, average-looking but kind to others. Truthfully, would you go for looks or kindness? I’m definitely shallow- so I’d probably be seriously attracted to the gorgeous person but then I would do the whole I’m not worthy, omg I can’t resist a sweetheart and go with the average persona!

Yea, I prefer to think my honesty about my condition- Shallow Vaininitus makes it okay.

athrill — Tue, 30 Nov 2004 00:46:23 GMT

A note to the PDA bastards who are there when I turn a sharp corner: FUCK YOU. It is no more than fucking 7:30 in the god damn morning and I have not taken my medicine and I do not need to over-sexualized adolescents who haven't gone through puberty making babies under fucking "TEEN PREGNANCY SIGN." It is disturbing that you glare at me for bumping into you well you know what how about you go and find a fucking room. You know what maybe you should read Harry Potter and understand the concept of a FUCKING CLOSET. I understand you are in love though you don't even know how to spell it and well I can't wait to see when it all fucking smashes and crumbles like swiss cheese. And then you can watch me laugh maniacally.

Thank you and have a Wonderful Evening,

Thursday!

athrill — Sat, 25 Sep 2004 20:10:37 GMT

Dearest Readers,

So, last night wasnt too great but I did go to borders and was about to go to the movie and all but I got caught in a conversation with a female named Kirsten and boy, was she hot. AND she was an otaku, she was very beautiful may I say and we rambled for ever it seemed I didnt get home until about 7:30ish maybe... 4 and a half hours of talking to someone I have never met before. WOW. (besides...I MUST HAVE LOST MY MIND OR SOMETHING because I definitely dont go to the movies by myself often... I find its depressing)

SO I walked her to the metro and stuff and this guy came up to us and he was asking about buses etc...both of our *G-dars* went off and he told us he was meeting someone...And about an hour later we find out he was meeting his boyfriend it was very funny..actually and cute because him and his boyfriend had met at AMERICAN IDOL auditions. Aww.

I am a very happy person because at the moment I am cuddling Cirque du freak 7 and well yeah...and Les Bijoux 5 is finally out in english so I can find out what the hell it says because I KNOW what happens but I dont know what they say.

But, Kirsten was so cool...She in a way reminded me of Sunshine (without the whole 'liking' part... in a way...not a lot but in a way she did. I brought one of my cds...not exactly the one but nonetheless a cd.

There was a FAME meeting and we dedicated two japanese dog woods to this museum... THANK mokona we didnt have to plant them.

T.K.

::EDIT::

<input ... ><input ... >

Your LJ Prison by redfrog021
Username	<input ... >
Favorite Deadly Sin	<select ... ><option ... >Sloth</option><option ... >Gluttony</option><option ... >Greed</option><option ... >Lust</option><option ... >Envy</option><option ... >Anger</option><option ... >Pride</option></select>
You are convicted of	You Have a Mullet; FASHION FELONY!!!!
And sentenced to	2 years
Warden	notworthy
Abusive redneck guard	pseudonirvana
Easy to bribe guard	becomingmulder
Cellmate	symbioticwolf
Wants to make you their bitch	chickfromhell
Drops soap in the shower on purpose	lyx
Works in the laundry and smells people's undies	scarredbytime
Comes to see you for 'conjugal visits'	da_rosas
<input ... >
Quiz created with MemeGen!

NO, please not that...*cries*
*:Edit:*

<input ... ><input ... >

Jobs for your LJ Friends by brianwarnersgrl
Username	<input ... >
are you sure you want to know?	<input ... >
positive?	<input ... >
ok this person is a hooker:	neolinkinchain
this person is a wrestler:	kyoshiki
this person is in a famous band:	becomingmulder
this person is the singer of that band:	notworthy
this person will be the future president in 2026:	da_rosas
this person is a babymaker:	symbioticwolf
this person is a drug dealer:	nonblondspazz
this person is a stripper:	lyx
and of course we all knew they would be a nun	star_kit
<input ... >
Quiz created with MemeGen!

You and me baby aint nothin but mammals so let's do it.........

athrill — Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:33:18 GMT

Dear Readers,

Ode to the Idiot

You, the one in the back row of the class
Whose incessant laughter haunts me in my sleep
I love you
And your little laugh too
I love the way you get off topic
And when you feel like it you make obscene noises
And shout abysmal things
It’s apart of your mating ritual, I think
But, boy do I love you and all of your stupidity
And your lack of comprehension of the serious matters
Or how you thought 2 + 2 was five
How you didn’t know that the Bare-naked Ladies was actually three guys
But most of all I love you
I hope that this will possibly get through to you
Since this has no pictures to help you
But I will not scorn you
For you make me look good
And I am grateful, really I am
Without you, there’d be no me
For in the future after I have excelled and passed
You will be cutting my grass.
---

So, the entire back row of my A2 class hates me...they say, That I say things as if I am the smartest fucking person in the world with a chip on my shoulder and I take the life out of math...I never knew math had a life to begin with but what ever. I am slightly annoyed because the best they could try to do was whisper insults behind my back IN A QUIET PORTABLE CLASSROOM as if I didnt have ears.

I think I am going to go buy my cd today or maybe I won't...maybe I'll by one of my QAF books that I have been wanting for a long time...I should buy just to spite my aunt...I am still looking for ways to anyway why not bring home something that will make her have cow?
---

There's someone I know who I feel is giving me the cold shoulder and its the last person I would want to be doing that right now.

*sigh* but oh, well maybe my intuition is off right now.
---

I am in love with Catcher in the Rye its weird because in a sense I understand Holden completely but then again I don't and his character becomes all the more enigmatic...
---

I'm not tired... it's weird because I am filled with so much energy... but it has no outlet...maybe I'll go see a movie tonight...Ghost in the Shell 2 is at The Majestic so maybe...just maybe... I'll do some A2 homework and see how that works out... still have that chem paper to work on and the journal...but maybe I'll push that all away.
---

"
On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I Packed a car and leave this town
Who'll notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway." BNL, Pinch Me

athrill — Wed, 08 Sep 2004 22:13:23 GMT

A gentle reminder to the male population... My name is not "Hey me and my boys was checkin' you out...so Ma, could I get sha Numba."

Understand if I in a FUCKING library with a "Black Plague" book in my hands, I don't really give a shit who you are unless your name is Flagellant Penance.

Just a gentle reminder.

---

Dear Readers,

I don't feel good...at all in no sense of the feeling. I have decided not to try out for the Play, "The Gentle Savage" (I believe that would be the title.

As you can see... at the moment my domestic issuses are fine but the outside world is slowly screwing me over and I finally understand in a sense why Ms. Jordy wants to be a hermit occassionally. I feel incredibly betrayed and ignored in a sense...This is caused by no one in general but by just certain aspects of my daily life...

I think I am going to go to the movies on Friday...and Circuit City also... to make myself feel better.

Thanks for the laughs at lunch.

Thurs.

athrill — Mon, 24 May 2004 23:52:28 GMT

Dearest Reader,

<input ... ><input ... >

Your Husband Generator by Lady_Galadriel
Name	<input ... >
Your Husband Is
You Met	at a stag party
You Have	4 children
You Live	sweden
In	a flat
You And Your Partner Are Best Known For	your passionate smoochies
<input ... >
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Pointless Info thought you might like to know:

~I am...

A brunnette...though occassionally I am associated with the term blonde.

short...5'4ish

an otaku and fangirl and emo-child and nu-metal junkie and sappy-hopeless-romantic for life...

annoying though unconciously...stubborn...self-concious...caring...

An open book...it is not my fault I just happen to be written in a forgotten foreign language...

Afraid of bugs and icky creepy things
---

I have...

A brain...its shocking but true...

too many obsessions...

dark dark almost coffee brown eyes...

glasses

an addiction to my friends...

a security blanket...aka a thing I cling to...aka Miss Meagan

A heart... and a it beats!

barbies and cabbage patchs...

~I like...

Pretty boys

Boys in eyeliner and nail black, hot pink, or silver nailpolish...it makes me giggle...

talking on the phone...find me on a good day and can keep you on the phone for a good 16 hours...ask Jordy.

computers...duh!

food

concerts

feeling safe

~I hate...

Close-mindedness

People ditching there friends for a lover...

being isolated

small spaces

Occassionally the dark...its because of my childhood

my paranoia

being abandoned
---

Hmm...I'll think of more to share...one day...maybe tommorow... love to all and all a good night...

~Thurs~

Simple thoughts under a crimson colored sky...

athrill — Mon, 24 May 2004 21:46:36 GMT

Dearest Readers,

Something I wrote...not very good but only Jordy has read it and she said she liked it...This goes against better instinct but...here:

Forbidden… Something, I have always had a taste for. An acquired taste that has grown on me over the years. Like the blue lipstick I spread on my lips. You always thought the lipstick made me look dead. Now I am dead. From the inside out. The outside in?
I pinch myself and wonder am I awake? Is this real? Am I real?

Love makes you numb, when you no longer have it. Like a drug. A forbidden drug. You always know its there…you just can’t have it. I lick my lips and taste the last of the kisses. The coppery sweetness fills my senses…

Mom asked why you no longer come over…why I never play my music so loud to hide our moans and fairytale whispers. I told her you were busy. Busy with Chelsea… your girlfriend. God…I hate her. I hateyou. You give her what you took from me…you fill her up as I lay empty on my bed staring into oblivion listening to our forgotten throes that play in my head.

May I blame… the Prom? I knew you’d never take me but it was a fancy dream.
Romeo…Romeo…where for art thou Romeo? Right there two yards away from me, laughing it up with the jock squad and your bitch. Yeah…I’m bitter…but what do they have I don’t? Oh yeah… Popularity, two X chromosomes and the permission of god to love. Oh yeah…I remember now…

Truly…It was Prom’s fault. To see the pride on your father’s face, when he saw your pretty date in her splendid gown. Me? He would have seen me and run me over with his car. Harsh words would fling me down and the tears of your mother would drown me. It was the words that you feared! You cared too much of what people said and so you could never fully love me. I was your Pinocchio all I asked was that you me…make me feel real….

In the shadows you kissed me…never in the light. Always in our hazy paradise far far away…found in between satin sheets…

As you stroll pass your “girl” waves and you say hello.

“Nice lipstick…” one of the jocks sneer. I make eye contact with you only to see us fumbling under your sheets, the lipstick smeared on your lips and cheeks from wild kisses…I smile gritting my teeth and walk away.

The only thing I can do from saying, “I love you”
Your not there anymore…la la la la la… I’m ignoring you… Can’t you, I’ve see my eyes are closed and my heart?....

Ding. Dong.

Mother get the door! Wait… she’s not here. Jeez, can’t anyone see I’m busy? I’m re-applying my façade… it’s hard to keep a happy face all day.
“Hel-lo” It’s you.
“Why are you here?”
“Why are you like this?” Ooh…Touché.
“Like what?”
“Sulky”
Hahaha… I am not sulking…I prefer the term brooding…
“Just go away…”
“No…we need to talk about this…”
“There is nothing to talk about…just go away…”
“Why?”
“I’m…busy…” Gluing together my heart back together.
“Doing what?”
“Don’t know…Being queer?”
I slam the door and let the sound of rejection ring in your ears and feel you cringe as I walk away…

Today I simply feel...cute... Patrick told me that this really hot girl thought I was cute. I was in a crappy mood cause...well I had my Hsa #1 today and it sucked alot... but oh well.That simply made me feel as if I actually possessed physically attraction... Hmm...Hung out at the park today...its was okie...Alex threw a cicada at me and I filled out...and there was a cicada on my back also so I screamed...

Yeah...Thats it...

Sincerely Your's before Midnight,
~Thurs~

athrill — Sat, 22 May 2004 09:24:33 GMT

Hey. Something short, okay?

Name:
Photo:
Age:
What's your favorite color?:
5+ favorite bands:
How do you know me?:

:)