Random Blathering

Memorial Service (lack thereof)

astarte59 — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:08:12 GMT

After an very stressful Tuesday, my father (Atara's ex-husband) and I decided it would be best for both my brother and the rest of the immediate family to not hold an official service. It pains me knowing that all of my mom's friends who would have been able to make it to a memorial service won't be able to say goodbye in the traditional way. But in the end, I have to think about what's best for my brother and the rest of my family.

Please feel free to consider an informal service of sorts or even just sharing memories on livejournal.

I also want to thank everyone for your letters. It's comforting to know that my mom was so well liked by so many people.

If people are interested, in a few weeks I'll be posting a list of books, cds, and movies that belonged to my mom. My idea was that if someone wanted a book/cd/dvd, they'd make a small donation in Atara's name to the MS Society, another small donation to help with shipping, and I'd send them the book/cd/dvd. So if this appeals to you or if you know anyone who might be interested, please leave a comment or email me. Thanks.

Please read

astarte59 — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:36:13 GMT

Hello,

My name is Sarah and I'm Atara's aka astarte59's daughter.

On Friday morning Atara passed away. I'm sure she wouldn't want any of you to be sad, but for those who truly were her friends, I have no doubt you will be.

I'll post the memorial plans tomorrow under a friendslock. So far, it looks like it will happen on Friday evening. If anyone has any questions feel free to send me an email at angelwen99@yahoo.com or comment on my LJ: angelwen99.

I don't plan on canceling this or the fading_coal blogs, but I don't know what will happen when I don't pay for the upcoming month, so it might be wise to save any icons or fics.

Cut off from the world

astarte59 — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:17:06 GMT

Hey there! I'm at the Chino Library using a puter here b/c mine's been in the shop for a while, and is likely to be for another week? Anyway, consider me officially out of touch, and I'll be posting and responding to comments and, better yet, finding time to respond to other folks' posts, but for now I'm just using this puter to let people know I'm not dead or being terribly rude, and so I'm off to my Yahoo Mail account and see how many of my friends' email addresses I know by heart. :-) Wish me luck.

Oh, and I'm reading the Qu'ran. I'll 'splain later.

Bye-eee! I'll be back. I miss you all!

And,

Happy Belated Birthday dasenergi!

The long and winding road to SSDI and good fences make

astarte59 — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:40:38 GMT

good neighbors

So over two years since I first applied for SSDI (that would be Social Security Disability payments, for the non-US folks here), and was turned down, and appealed, and was turned down, I had my hearing last week. My long term disability insurance co., that's been paying a large part of what I'm (barely) living on arranged for an attorney for me--they do this for everyone; if I get granted SSDI, then the LTD co. has to pay a LOT less and they get a fucking huge retroactive payment that SSDI would pay me--this all makes sense since their job is is essentially to fill in a gap: they pay enough so you get 2/3 of your former salary. If SSDI and my retirement don't add up to 2/3, they pay the rest. Except I haven't been getting SSDI, and the LTD co. has been paying the biggest chunk of what I get monthly. So they provide an attorney for the hearing, and the company for which the atty. works does a lot of paperwork for me, and I mostly just have to show up and answer the judge's questions. My atty. told me they want you to be comfortable, so wear sweats if I want (I'd hardly want to walk in there looking professional). The hearing was in a city next to the city where I used to teach, but it was a little beyond my comfortable driving range, so I drove to campus, and two of my former colleagues drove me to the hearing. It was really, really stress-free after all the bullshit they've put me through. The hearing was like half an hour. The judge had very specific questions--could I lift 5 pounds? could I do that 8 times a day? They just want to know if you can work at anything no matter how low the salary; if you can work, you don't need SSDI. My atty thinks we made a good case that I can't work. I have the concentration span of a flea, and I have to nap twice a day or more, and actually whenever I go out one day and do something, say, w/ a friend, I crash the rest of that day and the next day too, so working full-time would be hard.

So half an hour and then my friends and I went out to breakfast. It's pretty weird for me being w/ my former colleagues, even good friends. I want to see them, natch, but they're Real Girls, and I'm not, and I want more than anything to be a Real Girl again, and I hear them talk about English Dept. stuff, and I already feel waaaaaay out of touch. I managed not to cry till I got home at least, and the SSDI thing was so less awful than I expected. A big part of the stress was getting there, and it was really nice having company. My blood pressure had been way high for the past couple months, and by three days after the hearing it had dropped a LOT.

And now for something completely different.

My house was built in 1984. My fence around my very large back yard was built in--yep, you guessed it--1984. And has been falling apart for a long time. I've worried off and on about what I'm going to do when the folks who share the fence want to replace it, which I wouldn't mind, but wouldn't have money for either. The fence on one side has been replaced, and we and that neighbor had gotten an estimate from another neighbor who does stuff like that. At first the neighbor next door was going to go with that, but then he decided he wanted something more elaborate, so all I had to pay was half of the original estimate.

So the back fence. Memories. For Bradley's 3rd birthday, I spent a lot of time sanding down a big section of the back fence, and the kids' dad and I painted it white, and at the birthday party, everyone could paint whatever they wanted. One friend painted, in very neat capital letters, "Clapton is God." The oldest kid there painted the Big Bang. The little kids painted all sorts of stuff. I painted one of my all-time favorite U2 quotes (you can see it on the right side quote box part of fading_coal). It was totally fun, but of course by now it's completely faded. Anyway, I got a call from the woman who lives along the longest stretch of that fence, and she wants to put up a brick wall and pay for all of it herself. (!!!!!) Problem fucking solved! They needed my permission, and will have a paper stating that they're choosing to pay for the whole thing, and I'm delighted. Brick wouldn't be my first choice, but those w/out money to replace a seriously leaking roof can't be picky. Robert Frost must be right. Anyway they're very nice, and apparently Tyger has been visiting their yard (there are many openings in the fence big enough for a kitty), and their cats are indoor cats, and Tyger sits outside their glass door, taunting them, "I'm outside and you-ou're not!" Actually the neighbor said they just sit and stare at each other. And we both complained about Evil Gray and White Kitty who is constantly invading yards and wanting to start fights. For some reason Evil Gray and White Kitty and my next door neighbor's cat, Figaro, were sort of fighting in my yard. Figaro is a big bruiser but a total wuss, so I went out and shooed Evil Gray and White Kitty away from him. Anyway, I'm blathering. But the fence being replaced w/ out me paying for it is another big relief.

Now if I could just find someone who wants to redo my roof . . .

Wanting to be President

astarte59 — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:29:56 GMT

In yesterday's L.A. Times there was an article about seniors and whether they thought John McCain (71) was too old to be President. Not surprisingly, there were opposing opinions. But I was struck by a particular answer since it's something I've believed for a long time anyway--regardless of age. So I wrote a letter to the Times. I think it's probably too long, but I thought I'd share it here anyway. Again, it's nonpartisan commentary.

In Sunday's (2/24/08) article about seniors' opinion about whether John McCain's age would interfere with his performance as president, the article states, "What puzzles him [George Fisk, 85] is not whether McCain can do the world's hardest job, but why he'd want to. 'He ought to have his head examined,' Fisk suggests." Frankly, I think the same of any candidate for "the world's hardest job." In my opinion, anyone who wants the power and particularly the responsibility of the President of the United States must be psychologically flawed in one way or another, if for no other reason that he/she might well be in the position of deciding between life or death for massive numbers of people. I suspect that George W. Bush lives with the overwhelming numbers of deaths in the war in Iraq (both American soldiers and Iraqi citizens) because he is incapable of self-reflection and hasn't the mental capacity to see how much his cabal of advisors (those who've been planning this war since 1991) have influenced him and his decisions.

I don't know what emotional and mental baggage is prodding the current crop of candidates to want such overwhelming responsibility, not only over life and death, but over the lives, health care, education, nutrition, housing of 300 billion plus inhabitants of the U.S. Etc., etc., etc., to the nth power.

You'd have to be crazy to want this job. I vote for a candidate for President for three reasons: 1) not voting means you have no right to complain about the President's decisions, 2) I vote for the Democratic candidate whose positions on crucial issues are closest to mine and has a chance of winning, because, more importantly, 3) the President appoints Supreme Court justices who will be in office decades longer than he/she will, and the Supreme Court deals with issues that are particularly important to me. I just try not to spend too much time contemplating that I'm voting for a person who, to quote George Fisk, "ought to have his [or her] head examined."

That's all for now, folks. I'm being forced by my MS-addled nervous system to take a nap.

Death of Baby at Honolulu airport

astarte59 — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:34:35 GMT

I don't keep up with the news at all well these days, but normaltrouble pointed me to the story of the very young baby who died in Customs, in a warm room, when he should have been on his way to the hospital for a possible heart implant. There were, "irregularities in the mother's paperwork," apparently. It's so shocking in some ways it's hard to know how to react, but I posted the following on another site and thought I'd post it here too:

---
I'm so shocked and appalled I don't really know what to say. No matter what reason Customs had for detaining the baby and his mother, they should have been rushed to the hospital where the baby was to be examined for a possible implant, and then they could have checked paperwork to their hearts' content. How does a human being not see that a child's life is so much higher a priority than paperwork that they exist in different dimensions? Did anyone in Customs call the hospital? Clearly not, or they would have been told that the baby needed to be transported there by ambulance immediately. I can't SEE how this can happen. And to think these people are a first line in maintaining our nation's so-called Homeland Security . . .

I can't imagine how parents must feel at the unnecessary death of a child--of course there were medical risks, but paperwork risks! I can only feel what must be a fraction of their grief, helplessness, anger, and loss. Maybe winning a lawsuit will help alleviate some of the anger and helplessness, but this grief must tear at them more than the possible loss of the baby in surgery when they knew they'd tried everything possible. My heart goes out to the parents and the baby's siblings. Can you imagine trying to explain why this happened to the baby's teenage brother and sister and what do you say to the baby's 3-yr old brother? Baby Michael is now free from the stupidity of this world; his parents and siblings have a long road ahead of them, and all I can wish them is some growing moments of peace as time passes.

OK, so it's not a front-page issue, but . . .

astarte59 — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:07:31 GMT

I am most righteously PISSED-OFF.

In the L.A. Times Real Estate Section, there was a letter to the "Rent Watch" column which reads as follows:

The apartment complex I own has a state-of-the-art laundry room that includes dry-cleaning machines and appliances for ironing. There always has been a minimum age restriction of 21 on who can use this facility. A tenant is having her teenage son do the laundry while she is temporarily laid up with a broken leg. My concern is for the safety of other tenants as well as protecting my investment. How can I enforce the age restriction for the laundry room?

That is *so* BO-gus!

The reply was sort of wishy-washy, but sometimes when I get peeved, I feel the need to express myself, even if one person maybe half-heartedly reads it. So,

I am appalled by the mean-spiritedness of the letter writer in last Sunday's Real Estate section (of the Los Angeles Times) who was concerned because the teenage son of a neighbor laid up with a broken leg was doing the laundry in a "state-of-the-art" laundry room age-restricted to 21. I agree with your suggestion that 21 might be an overly restrictive age limitation, but I'm surprised you didn't call her on her attitude. First of all, a teenage boy who is willing to do his family's laundry when his mother is ill or temporarily disabled is likely to be a responsible young man. Second, the age restrictions are absurd. Using laundry equipment isn't, to coin a phrase, rocket science. All teenagers 15-16 (or younger) should be learning to do their own laundry, if not sometimes helping out parents who are ill or disabled. Perhaps the safety rules could be posted so they are unmistakably visible, and a younger teenager might be allowed to use the laundry room after personal instruction in the use of the machinery by an adult. Teenagers can get driver's licenses at 16 (albeit with restrictions for the first year); except when it comes to drinking, 18 year olds are considered adults with the right to vote and the right to join the military and operate for more dangerous and complex equipment than a laundry machine! Like state-of-the-art weaponry! If there is any evidence of this particular boy being destructive or careless of property, then the property owner who wrote in might have a cause for concern to be brought up with the teen's mother. Otherwise, she should reconsider an absurd age limit; how can she restrict legal adults from using laundry facilities? And she should consider allowing high-school-aged teens to do laundry after proper instruction, and I don't mean the equivalent of Driver's Training plus 50 hours with a licensed laundry user supervising!

Because of my own disability I've been thinking about moving to an apartment eventually so as not to have to tackle all the responsibilities of home ownership on my own. However, if this person's attitude and restrictiveness is typical of landlord/ladies these days, I think I'd be better off staying in my house. To have a rule that assumes that my 19-year old legal adult, university-going, licensed-to-drive daughter, who has been doing her own laundry for five years or so, would not be able to help out a disabled mother by doing her laundry is absurd, and I wonder if that strict a restriction (age 21!) is even legal.
Sincerely,

Atara Stein

Clear the Roads!

astarte59 — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:59:11 GMT

If you live in Southern California!

My son passed his driver's test today and is thus licensed to drive. I gave him many congratulations. When I said I'd better stay off the roads, he told me he'd already heard that joke at school today. :-) I told him it's traditional. He's actually very responsible, so I'm very happy for him.

I reminded him that he used to be a baby. He said, "So did you." And I said, "But I don't remember that." And I told him that when he was about 13 months old he used to walk around and growl at random moments. He said, "Sounds like fun." It was pretty damn adorable.

And now he's driving. Good for him!

Pick my best? Pretty please

astarte59 — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 03:20:20 GMT

pickmybest is an icontest comm I can actually approve of b/c you're competing against yourself. (For those of you who don't know, I have a thing against fanfic and icon contests--if you wanna know why, just ask, and if I haven't posted about it earlier, I'll explain.) And it's been over two years since I got together a group of icons to post which gave me enough for a batch to submit to pickmybest.

So, please, please, go take a little time and pick the ones you think are the five best in the group and tell me why. The comm has a particular code for voting, which you can find here and voila my batch of icons.

Naturally, I'm eager for your comments, but take a look at some of the other batches too. So far, I've found some really great icons by megathy27 and beauty_untold, have snagged a few from each, and after I have dinner or a nap (can't quite decide yet), I'm going to look at some more.

A random query and election blathering and Molly Ivins

astarte59 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:59:46 GMT

OK, I truly hope I don't offend anyone, but I wondered this as a kid (not in the same words or terms), and I'm wondering again: What on earth possessed Mattel to name Barbie's friend "Midge"?

So, the 2008 election is o-ver for me. I have voted, mailed my ballot, and I'm done. I mean, I know whom I'm voting for in November: whoever the Democrat is, no matter how appalled I may be that this is the best the party can come up with b/c, ultimately, what really matters and makes a difference is who is making the Supreme Court appointments. Yes, there are a lot of other current important issues, and I can't tell the difference b/t the major Dem. candidates on them, and I'm bound to agree w/ the Dem. candidate in November on those issues more than with the Republican candidate. But presidents are in office a maximum of 8 years. The Supremes can be in office for bleeding decades, and when you come down to long-term issues that I'll care about when the war is finally over (if ever) and have cared about ever since I was in high school and Phillis Schafly of orange juice fame was beginning her campaign against gay teachers (this was the late '70's), and I was too young to vote for Jimmy Carter, those issues are abortion, civil rights for whatever groups are being denied them, and the environment. And on the first two, if the next President gets a chance to appoint a Supreme, I want that Prez to be a Democrat, even an almost-a-Republican middle-of-the-road Democrat. And I hate political campaigns; I hate polls, I hate articles about who would win if the election were today, I hate campaign ads, I hate the whole campaign system which is designed for maximum corruption. So I do my patriotic duty (remember, if you don't vote, you can't complain for four whole years--and frankly that would be a major sacrifice), and say, "Wake me up when it's over." So, since the vote I'll mail in in November has practically nothing to do with the vote I just mailed in, all I can say is, Wake me up when it's over.

And now, behind the cut, some words from someone I would genuinely call one of my heroes, the late Molly Ivins, writing about the 2006 election, and it seems like it could have gotten published today.

Molly Ivins: Enough of the D.C. Dems

Enough of the D.C. Dems

By Molly Ivins

March 2006 Issue

Mah fellow progressives, now is the time for all good men and women to come to the aid of the party. I don’t know about you, but I have had it with the D.C. Democrats, had it with the DLC Democrats, had it with every calculating, equivocating, triangulating, straddling, hair-splitting son of a bitch up there, and that includes Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I will not be supporting Senator Clinton because: a) she has no clear stand on the war and b) Terri Schiavo and flag-burning are not issues where you reach out to the other side and try to split the difference. You want to talk about lowering abortion rates through cooperation on sex education and contraception, fine, but don’t jack with stuff that is pure rightwing firewater.

I can’t see a damn soul in D.C. except Russ Feingold who is even worth considering for President. The rest of them seem to me so poisonously in hock to this system of legalized bribery they can’t even see straight.

Look at their reaction to this Abramoff scandal. They’re talking about “a lobby reform package.” We don’t need a lobby reform package, you dimwits, we need full public financing of campaigns, and every single one of you who spends half your time whoring after special interest contributions knows it. The Abramoff scandal is a once in a lifetime gift—a perfect lesson on what’s wrong with the system being laid out for people to see. Run with it, don’t mess around with little patches, and fix the system.

As usual, the Democrats have forty good issues on their side and want to run on thirty-nine of them. Here are three they should stick to:

1) Iraq is making terrorism worse; it’s a breeding ground. We need to extricate ourselves as soon as possible. We are not helping the Iraqis by staying.

2) Full public financing of campaigns so as to drive the moneylenders from the halls of Washington.

3) Single-payer health insurance.

Every Democrat I talk to is appalled at the sheer gutlessness and spinelessness of the Democratic performance. The party is still cringing at the thought of being called, ooh-ooh, “unpatriotic” by a bunch of rightwingers.

Take “unpatriotic” and shove it. How dare they do this to our country? “Unpatriotic”? These people have ruined the American military! Not to mention the economy, the middle class, and our reputation in the world. Everything they touch turns to dirt, including Medicare prescription drugs and hurricane relief.

This is not a time for a candidate who will offend no one; it is time for a candidate who takes clear stands and kicks ass.

Who are these idiots talking about Warner of Virginia? Being anodyne is not sufficient qualification for being President. And if there’s nobody in Washington and we can’t find a Democratic governor, let’s run Bill Moyers, or Oprah, or some university president with ethics and charisma.

What happens now is not up to the has-beens in Washington who run this party. It is up to us. So let’s get off our butts and start building a progressive movement that can block the nomination of Hillary Clinton or any other candidate who supposedly has “all the money sewed up.”

I am tired of having the party nomination decided before the first primary vote is cast, tired of having the party beholden to the same old Establishment money.

We can raise our own money on the Internet, and we know it. Howard Dean raised $42 million, largely on the web, with a late start when he was running for President, and that ain’t chicken feed. If we double it, it gives us the lock on the nomination. So let’s go find a good candidate early and organize the shit out of our side.

Molly Ivins writes in this space every month. Her latest book is “Who Let the Dogs In?”

And, no, I'm not the one violating copyright. This was on a small mailing list distributed by former department chair, an altogether wonderful person. So send the law after him. And anyway, if there's a posthumous publication of Molly's essays, you know I'll be buying it.

Oh, and FWIW, I went to high school w/ Jack Abramoff. I didn't know him, but he was involved w/ student government and exuded an air of corruption even then. I kinda doubt he was at the 30th reunion last year, but I'd have to check w/ someone who actually attended. :-)

Apolitical Presidential Campaign Observation

astarte59 — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:30:09 GMT

I think it's unfortunate that the first serious female candidate for President shares a last name with a recent and controversial former President and, thus, apparently felt the need to distance her own campaign from his name. Hillary Clinton's campaign motto/slogan/graphical image reads "Hillary for President," and a piece of campaign material I got in the mail urges "CHANGE AMERICA. VOTE HILLARY." This use of her first name, IMO, makes her campaign look like it lacks a certain amount of seriousness (oh wait! wouldn't this be the perfect time to use the word "gravitas," my favorite pretentious term these days?), not to mention gender equality with the other candidates. Or perhaps the explorer has come back from the dead and decided to enter politics and run for U.S. President, which, of course, he wouldn't be allowed to do, due his not being born in the U.S.--which, IMO, is a stupid rule.

Digression warning:
A citizen should be a citizen, and the rule should be dumped even if it leads the Governator to the White House. A stupid law is a stupid law and should be eliminated even if the immediate results would be unfortunate. Although, frankly, while I'm no fan of him as a politician, and hearing Ahhhnold's voice talking governor-talk always gives me a major case of cognitive dissonance (all I can really hear is "Fuck You!" and "Hasta La Vista, Bay-bee!"), I actually think he would have been a better (or less bad) President than Dubya, whose father, I bet, must always have to apologize about him, even among fellow Republicans.

When I was teaching, I had to drum into my students that female writers get referred to by their last names just as male writers do, and I'd always get peeved by essays on 19th c. American poetry, for instance, that referred to the poets, "Whitman" and "Emily." For that matter, when it came to the Shelleys, I wouldn't accept "Shelley" and "Mary," but told students that they'd have to use an egalitarian way of distinguishing between them if writing about both in the same essay. For instance, after referring to "Percy Bysshe Shelley" and "Mary Shelley" in one's introduction, using "Percy" and "Mary" in the essay seems the least awkward way to refer to them in the rest of the paper, in which case, in my intro (if I were writing about both), I'd use "Percy Bysshe Shelley (henceforth, 'Percy'" and "Mary Shelley (henceforth, 'Mary'"). Of course, you have the same problem if writing about more than one Brontë sister in the same paper, but again I'd use first and last names in the intro and then first names in the rest of the paper.

Anyway, I haven't seen any Edwards materials that urge "Vote John" and Obama's website is "Obama for America." I don't think Senator Clinton had much choice, but, hey, that's another reason women shouldn't change their names when they get married. :-) I would have never had such a problem (and, in fact, one kid has their dad's last name and one has mine, and their dad had no objection when I first proposed doing it this way).

At any rate, I've never had a political ambition in my life except when I ran for Vice-President of the English Dept's grad students' club at UCLA. I think my most demanding duty was arranging for a group of my friends to get together and bring their favorite LP's (yes, LP's) so we could make a mix tape for the "Welcome New Grad Students" party. One friend had a fader dealie so we even could have one song fade out as the next faded in. God, those were great tapes--a real snapshot of the tastes of English grad students in the mid-80's: lots of Talking Heads in particular but a whole range from the Who to Prince ("1999" and "Purple Rain") to Bob Marley. I did get to attend one department meeting in place of the President and got to see the complete contempt many faculty members had for students, when one Prof made a comment about grad students just wanting to do the least amount of work possible, and I thought, "What the fuck? It's not as though we were forced to go to grad school in English or thought it would lead to lucrative careers. We could have gone to law school instead and exceeded your salary very quickly." Well, that's not an exact quote of what I was thinking, but the content is accurate. Man, I was pissed. I think I said something more polite in objection to his comment, but it was really hard not to be more sarcastic. So much for my political career.

Political Memeage

astarte59 — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:39:28 GMT

snagged from angelwen99

96% Mike Gravel
94% Dennis Kucinich
83% John Edwards
83% Barack Obama
82% Chris Dodd
81% Hillary Clinton
81% Joe Biden
71% Bill Richardson
37% Rudy Giuliani
26% Ron Paul
21% John McCain
16% Mike Huckabee
16% Mitt Romney
16% Tom Tancredo
6% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Action figure Xmas fun

astarte59 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 04:14:28 GMT

Well, just ignore the backgroundy stuff. I was going to replace it w/ a nice Xmasy color, but ran out of time. Maybe next Xmas. Meanwhile, this is pretty heartwarming, isn't it? :-) Or just weird.

Friday Five

astarte59 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:12:58 GMT

Many people make a big deal about not being "labeled." And yet, we all are, constantly.

1. Pick one label that you think does describe you (race, religion, hobby, etc.).
Proud Fandom Geek

2. Pick one label that is often put on you, that you really think is inaccurate.
"Fighter," as in "You're such a fighter."

3. Pick one label you wish could be put on you.
"Professor" as opposed to "retired professor"

4. What is one kind of label that you think is universally wrong to use (race, gender, height)?
I don't believe in universals. Basically labels that are being used as insults by people outside a group, but have been reclaimed by people inside that group. It all depends on the usage. I'll happily describe myself as a dyke, but I don't want to hear some ignorant bigot yelling "You fuckin' dyke!"

5. Labels, used intelligently, can be a convenient rhetorical shorthand for identifying how a given person will fit into (or react to) a given situation. Labels, used incorrectly, can be an excuse for dismissing the differences still inherent in the people to whom the label is applied. Discuss.

There are so many labels that do get used as a convenient shorthand (a phrase I've actually used many times), but that reveal very little about the actual person. I'll describe myself as a feminist b/c that term has been so misrepresented and turned into a slur, so I want to use it in a positive way. But at the same time, it reveals very little. As I used to tell my students, there are as many definitions of what the word "feminist" means as there are feminists. "Liberal" is a similar word. I doubt you'd find two self-described liberals who would agree on all the details of what that word means to them.

I also describe myself with the word "lesbian" as a convenient shorthand, but that doesn't take into account that there are a lot of men I find really hot and would happily spend an afternoon snogging, but I absolutely would want the guy to keep his sexy black jeans closed and remaining on his body. With a possible exception for Patrick Stewart . . . But when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships, I'm only interested in women. I used to be straight, however, but "Formerly-straight-sorta-bi-curious-lesbian" is kind of an awkward self-label, so I use "lesbian" for convenience, but if I was getting know a person better, I'd expand on the label, and of course there are all the other labels that are convenient, but incomplete and vague, self-definitions: retired, feminist, submissive (moderate) masochist, liberal, disabled, person with MS, forty-something, mother, parent, former professor, former teacher, worshipper of Neil Gaiman and Joss Whedon, sarcastic, depressed, kinky, pessimist, having a weird sense of humor, book-lover, cat-person, icon-maker, (possibly former) fanfic and smut writer, and, of course, fandom geek.

30 HTLJ and XWP icons

astarte59 — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:57:08 GMT

A mere nibble of the delectable Herculean and Xenite treats that await:

Resources are in my Resource Post, and each icon has individual credits here.

Take, use, and enjoy, but please credit astarte59 or fading_coal, and comments are highly desired, greatly appreciated, and good manners to boot.

"There-- you see? You do twirl."

Odds and Ends

astarte59 — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:22:26 GMT

There's an article about Joss on the picket line for the WGA strike here. Found out about it on my Whedonesque widget. What isn't there a widget for these days? Anyway, go Joss!

I had my very late b-day celebration w/ my ex and my son and son's friend C, who's one of the nicest kids in the world: Apple Pan and Beowulf. I lingered over my dinner at the Apple Pan; it was heavenly. Beowulf was lots of fun. I want to reread it now, but I want to wait until I can get a copy of the Seamus Heaney translation. Somehow I don't think Neil and his co-writer were particularly accurate to the text, but film is a different medium. I need to take a look at Neil's blog (too sleepy for the URL, sorry) and see what original writing he's doing in addition to screenplays. It was a lot of fun. Good action, lots of recreation of the mead-soaked Anglo-Saxon era, heroic boasting. Couldn't understand a world Grendel said. The technology was utterly spectacular, but at the same time it deprived the actors of a certain amount of affect. Angelina Jolie was lovely and seductive, but in a sort of mechanical been-there-and-done-this a million times sort of way. Anthony Hopkins came across the most vividly as a character.

If I can make it, I'm have Thanksgiving w/ my ex and son (daughter is dining w/ a friend's family). So I'm off to nap.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. If I had the energy I'd tell you about the time my ex (then-hubby) and I nearly killed my father and my friend David. Someone remind me if you're interested. It's not a grand heroic story; just a small amusing domestic one.

House as Byronic Hero

astarte59 — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 05:33:24 GMT

There's an excellent essay by Barbara Barnett about House as a Byronic hero</a>, which I highly recommend if you have any interest in such things. I also rec'd it on my 19thc_britlit along with some blathering of my own, some of which I hope is enlightening, and some very enlightening comments by a good friend of mine, Jim Merrill. You can find it all right here.

Quick postscript

astarte59 — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 03:56:27 GMT

Good thing I took those pics this morning. There's a new door, gleaming white and fully functional. My wonderful neighbor C_____ knows the guy next door to him very well, and that guy and his brother are in the--can you guess?--garage door business. And C_____ actually paid him and called and said the work was done, and I could pay him back tonight or tomorrow, and I paid for it, and it looks like it never happened. Suburban havoc is quickly rectified.

Oh, some of you may remember a conflict I had w/ the city's code enforcement about not beautifying--well, improving--the front of my house fast enough. I was just telling it to the nice police officer, and he just shook his head, muttering, "Code Enforcement" in disgust.

Pictures of the damage

astarte59 — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 02:18:58 GMT

OK, I'm really tired, and I just couldn't see myself uploading my images to Photobucket and then posting them here. There are only eight of them, but, I'm really really tired. So here's a teaser:

You can find the rest of them here. But wait! I uploaded them forward, but meant to upload them backward, so you want to skip all the way to the last of the only 8 images on the page (complete, when you click on the thumbnails, with my wry, but aesthetic, commentary *gags at own hyperbole*), which is "garagedoor1" and go from right to left to get the full experience. Or if you're looking at the full-size picture of "garagedoor1," just keep clicking "Back" to get to the *next* picture. Trust me, this actually is impressive damage to behold, if not exactly sublime.

Off to beddies! Will read comments later!

You won't fucking believe what just happened--

astarte59 — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 04:26:58 GMT

Well, about an hour and a half ago actually. I was at my computer, and I heard this loud metallic BANG and vibration, followed by another. Couldn't see anything from the house that could have caused it, and went outside. A neighbor's teenage daughter said "A truck just drove into your garage door!" Well, damn, if it didn't. We have one of those metal garage doors on a track, and the door itself is completely destroyed, with huge angular holes in it and weird shapes. And boxes that can be seen through it. It looks like some weird contemporary work of art, although I kinda doubt that was the driver's intent since he backed out and took off, fortunately NOT sideswiping my car. And weirdly, I had parked on the other side of the driveway today b/c it would be easier to clean the trash out of the floor of the back of my car. Maybe that's why the garage got hit, and not my car. Anyway the neighbor saw him hit the garage door and back out and peel away, but she's been looking for it (it's a tan Chevy S-10, fwiw), and while the cop was getting my information and was just about done, the neighbor's daughter thought she saw it, and so the cop went to check it out. He asked me if I wanted it prosecuted, and I decided yes. You just don't smash into someone else's garage and then take off. It's unethical, damn it! :-) For one, the whole thing cost $500 (which is, coincidentally, my deductible on my homeowner's insurance), and on the recarpeting, painting, post sewage flood last Spring, they waived the deductible b/c I guess it was my first claim. So if the door itself can be replaced for under $500, I'm better off not going through the insurance co. And if the police actually catch this reckless driver, and he can afford to pay for any of it, I'd be better off.

Just fucking surreal. I'll take some pictures tomorrow and post them. Maybe I could do a poll of what period or style of art it most resembles.

OK, going to bed w/ a headache. Just had to share the bizarreness.

Thank you!

astarte59 — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 07:50:27 GMT

Thank you fairiegodmother for my pressie and for thinking of me. :-)

Birthday Message

astarte59 — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:47:33 GMT

Happy Birthday little_heather!

I'm working on a pressie too, but it will be a little late!

Stupid Quilting Question

astarte59 — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:17:11 GMT

Does anyone out there quilt or know about it? I don't and don't intend to. This is pure curiosity. What's the difference b/t Fat Quarters, Quarter Flats, and Fabric Quarters? I find them useful sometimes, but I just don't know the difference, what with them being the same size and all.

Quote of the Day

astarte59 — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:25:20 GMT

I've always loved this song and the whole album, but I've particularly liked this verse for years. Something over 19 years now. :-) I recently have been looking at some pictures from college--which are horrendously discolored, and thanks to a great tutorial by cdg, I now know what the fuck Selective Color does on Photoshop, which means, w/ my energy, I'll scan and fix up one or two a week or something *sigh*--and especially thinking about Sarah's pissy attitude about college, even grad school seems like Paradise despite the dehumanizing aspects and the periods of sheer spine-chilling terror. Oh and I'll post a pic of me in college when I get one I like; I was still a whole person then. And a few years ago. *double sigh*

The quote is from Paul Simon's "That Was Your Mother" from Graceland.

Well, that was your mother
And that was your father
Before you was born dude
When life was great
You are the burden of my generation
I sure do love you
But let's get that straight

National Coming Out Day

astarte59 — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:53:06 GMT

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I have two icons to unveil. Granted, they're not my best, but I've had a bad week. No a bad month. Oh, never mind. MS sucks, but you knew that.

Oh, I thought I'd let y'all know that I'm a lesbian. Yep. Now don't be overcome with shock or anything, now. But if you happen to know any available (doesn't have to be monogamous; if possible, I wouldn't be) lesbians in a grown-up sort of age range who are into fandom, preferably the Whedonverse, and happen to be kinky and toppish, and have a burning desire to visit Chino, CA and play with naughty toys, just send her on over. :-)