Unfucking Midlife & Sobriety
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Unfucking Midlife
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What We Call Self-Care Doesn’t Last
The things that helped in the moment weren’t the same things that healed.
Apr 14
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Ashley Kelsch
24
4
4
You Don't Have a Drinking Problem. You Have an Aliveness Problem.
I’ve watched this pattern play out over and over…
Feb 4
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Ashley Kelsch
41
10
8
The Hidden Connection Between Wine, Sex, and Why You Feel Numb at Midlife
What happens when wine becomes the bridge to sensation and desire slowly goes quiet.
Feb 17
•
Ashley Kelsch
42
18
9
It Was Never Wild or Sober
Wine was sold to us as the thing that would make us looser, freer, more ourselves. Sex got sold the same way.
Apr 4
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Ashley Kelsch
15
4
3
When Your Soul Won't Stop Knocking: How My 40's Taught Me to Live an Erotic Life
What happens when you finally stop asking "Is this it?" and start asking "How can I live a life that feels full and turned on?"
Jul 22, 2025
•
Ashley Kelsch
24
12
8
Most Popular
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Unsolicited: Sex and the Single Woman Part 1
Feb 28, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
19
3
5
Why Some Women Thrive with Casual Sex (And Others Don't): Exploring Sociosexual Differences Part 2
Mar 7, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
19
5
The Hidden Connection Between Wine, Sex, and Why You Feel Numb at Midlife
Feb 17
•
Ashley Kelsch
42
18
9
Unpacking Babygirl: Exploring Sexuality, Womens Roles, and Midlife Awakenings
Jan 10, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
16
2
4
Recent posts
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Ten Years of Journals. Only the Names Changed.
I thought going back would feel like growth. It felt more like a weather report.
Mar 30
•
Ashley Kelsch
13
3
3
We Were Introduced to Our Bodies. Nobody Taught Us to Feel Them.
On desire, alcohol, and the awakening nobody warned you about.
Mar 22
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Ashley Kelsch
12
3
The Girl Who Was Told To Be Quiet
Alcohol gave the angry girl a door. Sobriety meant learning how to open it.
Mar 18
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Ashley Kelsch
14
4
3
Nobody Witnessed My Rock Bottom
For the women whose lives look completely fine from the outside.
Mar 10
•
Ashley Kelsch
21
10
3
Is It My Hormones, a Hangover, or Who I’m Becoming?
What happened when I removed the one thing holding my life together
Mar 5
•
Ashley Kelsch
23
11
4
Unfucking Midlife: You Said You Wanted It. So Why Don’t You Have It?
Most women I know are not confused about what they want. They know. They’ve known for years.
Feb 25
•
Ashley Kelsch
18
9
4
Unfucking Midlife: Turning 46
On mortality, grey hair, and the freedom that comes from finally not giving a fuck
Feb 11
•
Ashley Kelsch
26
12
5
Safety Was What I Needed. I Just Didn't Know How to Get It.
A story about what happens when your nervous system mistakes wine for safety.
Jan 28
•
Ashley Kelsch
12
3
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Unsolicited
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Bras, Brain Rot, and the Internet Outrage Machine
In 48 hours: Liz Gilbert hot takes, death videos, and Jimmy Kimmel canceled. The internet rewards outrage; all I get is cognitive dissonance and brain…
Sep 25, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
6
2
Stress Training for Midlife: When Starting Over Isn't an Option
Midlife stress is layered: aging parents, teens, partners, money, health and no option to burn it all down & start over. The “fuck it, I’m out” approach…
Aug 17, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
28
2
4
Is What You’re Getting Worth Grieving What You’re Not?
When “doing the work” in a relationship starts to feel like you’re the one getting worked.
Aug 8, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
13
3
The Midlife Move: No Sudden Movements
And How Anne Lamott’s Advice to “Never Give Up” Is More Important Than Ever
Jun 30, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
14
2
5
We're Aging In, Not Out
Because here's the truth: we're not aging out of anything that matters—we're aging into who we were always meant to be.
May 19, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
31
6
13
Lately, This
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Ten Years of Journals. Only the Names Changed.
I thought going back would feel like growth. It felt more like a weather report.
Mar 30
•
Ashley Kelsch
13
3
3
That's So Mid #9: Better Late Than Never (Beginner Lessons from the Tennis Court)
Plus Intermezzo and Martyr book reviews, the Emma Grede Aspire episode that got me thinking, and a summer recipe
May 26, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
12
2
1
That's So Mid #8: When You Can’t Afford a Crisis But Can’t Afford Not to Change
Exploring why midlife isn’t about crisis but about honesty, shedding armor that no longer serves you, and embracing who you truly are—even when the…
Apr 1, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
31
9
5
That's So Mid #7: Feels like January 49th
Fran Lebowitz, Substack Writers Who Got Intimate, and a Few Good Distractions for the Months that Feel Never-Ending
Jan 31, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
13
4
5
That's So Mid #6: Seasons, Repeat Behaviors and Choosing Privacy Over Performance + a Life Changing Pie Crust Recipe
All of these should have been clues, signaling that it is the end of the year and that we have, yet again, gone through another season of seasons and…
Dec 18, 2024
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Ashley Kelsch
12
10
6
Unfucking Midlife
View all
We Were Introduced to Our Bodies. Nobody Taught Us to Feel Them.
On desire, alcohol, and the awakening nobody warned you about.
Mar 22
•
Ashley Kelsch
12
3
Unfucking Midlife: You Said You Wanted It. So Why Don’t You Have It?
Most women I know are not confused about what they want. They know. They’ve known for years.
Feb 25
•
Ashley Kelsch
18
9
4
Unfucking Midlife: Turning 46
On mortality, grey hair, and the freedom that comes from finally not giving a fuck
Feb 11
•
Ashley Kelsch
26
12
5
Unfucking Midlife: The Strength in Unfolding
Because some parts of us don't need fixing, they just need space.
Jan 23
•
Ashley Kelsch
21
3
2
When the Soul Says, “Bitch, Wake Up.”
Marie-Louise von Franz wrote, “Only when the eternal girl dies can the woman be born.” I think my body got the memo before I did.
Oct 31, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
24
4
Uncensored
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Unpacking Babygirl: Exploring Sexuality, Womens Roles, and Midlife Awakenings
Her inability to articulate what she wanted and the clumsy way she navigated her desires felt uncomfortably familiar. I reminded of a former version of…
Jan 10, 2025
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Ashley Kelsch
16
2
4
Built to Last: When Sex Tests the Limits of Home Furniture
How many f*cks can a frame take before it breaks? Are furniture makers and manufacturers taking this into consideration?
Aug 29, 2023
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Ashley Kelsch
5
1
2
Dumb and Dumber
"A Cycle of Deception: Falling for False Promises and Lies"
Jul 17, 2023
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Ashley Kelsch
6
1
Mind-Blowing Female Pleasure: Why Women Are Getting Soaked Without Traditional Sex
'I may have a small dick, but I've got 10 fingers that can do what a dick will never do' — and that's exactly how I discovered the pleasure most women…
Jul 3, 2023
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Ashley Kelsch
11
6
6
Eat Pray Hide
I was out to dinner with friends when I felt my crown come loose and fall out. As if that wasn't awkward enough, a man I'd harbored a crush on for years…
May 26, 2023
•
Ashley Kelsch
8
2
1
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