curled around these images

I may have forgotten how to do this...

ash48 — Mon, 23 Nov 2020 11:56:57 GMT

It seems appropriate to pop back after a long absence to write up a few thoughts about the final episode. :)

I'll start by saying I absolutely loved it. Sure, I cried heaps but it was a mix of devastaton and joy. Tears I needed and wanted if truth be told.

I have not been watching the show for a while. To be honest, I had lost interest in the stories and I was SO worried about how they would end it. I didn't want to get so emotionally invested that I would be shattered by an ending I didn't think did justice to the 15 years the show had been running.

Turns out, I had nothing to be worried about.

I'll mention the thing that worked for me the most. Mainly because it was something that I had written about after season 9.

Sam allowed Dean to die.

I know. It seems like a weird thing to be excited about, but I once wrote that these characters will have developed so much at some point that they will have to let the other one go. At the time I remember long discussions about it not being possible because the whole show is about them not being able to live without each other. It's what made the show...well, the show. Their love, devotion, protectiveness and inability to say goodbye forever. It's why we watch.

But in some situations those decisions were difficult to watch. Especially in season 9 when Dean allowed an angel to possess Sam without his knowledge or consent. In fact, every time they brought the other back it created horrible ramifications. Sure, it made for interesting storytelling but I remember being frustrated that it never seemed to mean anything in the end - as in, no lessons learned (let's conveniently forget that they HAD to bring the other back in order for the show to continue *g*)

So for Dean to die - a beautifully normal hunting death was extremely significant. As was Sam burning him, grieving and moving on with his life. IT WAS GLORIOUSLY SIGNIFICANT. It meant that their hunting life was over - they had done their part in saving people and hunting things. It meant their lives were no longer being controlled. It meant death for Dean (and a type of peace he's needed in so many ways) and life for Sam (a life of grief, but also a full life and one where he raise a child). Lives that are normal and free.

We also got that wonderful montage of them going about their lives in the bunker, Sam pranking Dean and *sigh* some shirtless!Sam. Many things I had on my list of things I'd like to see. :)

The death scene was SOOOO emotional because it was not only them saying goodbye to each other, but they were saying goodbye to us. The words were not only Dean to Sam, but also Jensen to Jared. It just killed me. We also knew it was real this time. It wasn't saying goodbye only to know that next season Sam would have found a way to bring Dean back. It was FOREVER!

I've seen criticism that Dean didn't die a "heroic death". A death where he saved the world. For me - he's saved the world so many times that this time - saving 2 children - is SO much more meaningful. He died doing the job he was born into and brilliant at. If he died crossing the road then yeah, that would have been disappointing. But this? Didn't disappoint me at all. It made sense and allowed for that lovely moment between the two of them.

I must admit, I would love to have known more about Sam's life after Dean. Did he marry? What job did he do? Where did he live? But I suppose the mystery of that means we can fill in our own headcanon - and I'm ok with that. Sam having a child named Dean was so cute. And then to see him grown up and letting his father die (the "making deals" has not been carried on) was also moving.

And of course the reunion at the end was just beautiful. All I could see was Jensen and Jared being so damn proud of the work they had done. It made me cry all over again.

I became hooked on this show in the beginning because of Sam and Dean's relationship. And the show ended showcasing this glorious, tender, imperfect and beautiful relationship perfectly.

I might even go back and watch the last to seasons knowing how it all ends. :)

On a personal note - I haven't been fannish for a while now, but I have extremely fond memories of the lovely times I've had. What a ride! I've met so many lovely people and learned some new skills to boot!

All because of a little show that could.

*love and hugs* to you all.
xx

dusts off LJ Boy, that's a lot of dust!

ash48 — Sat, 27 Oct 2018 11:26:26 GMT

I was going to type up a twitter response to SPN 14.03 (and season so far), but I'm not good with that thread stuff so I thought I'd dust off my poor, neglected LJ and type up some responses here. :)

Hey all!! Hope you're all doing well. xx

So. S14 eh? Incredible really and I still find it weird that a show I fell in love with 14 years ago is still going. Maybe not going as strong, but wow...still going.

I'm still watching and I'm still (mostly) engaged and interested in the stories. No where near the level I used to be, but I'm still drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

The overwhelming feeling I have so far is simply one of weariness. There's certainly some things I'm enjoying but I just feel that the stories feel a little tired - there's nothing especially dynamic or really that new or interesting. That's not to say it's bad - the acting and directing is still solid and the writing is pretty strong. It just feels a bit, well, tired...

I'll try to unpack that a bit.

I accept that it must be extremely difficult to come up with new ideas and stories this far into the series - especially when it comes to giving Jared and Jensen some new and interesting challenges. I thought Dean being possessed for the first time held some promise. And indeed Jensen did an admirable job of being "other". I especially thought his 14.01 performance was outstanding. He was so clearly *not* Dean - the change of cadence in his voice was particularly noticeable, as was his vocal pace and change in body language. I didn't feel he captured that so well in 14.02 and 14.03, but it was still pretty damn good.

I think I'm just a bit disappointed that there was nothing more interesting in the aftermath of it all. I know it's only early, so maybe there will be more yet, but Dean feeling guilty and remembering being possessed and lying to Sam and saying he didn't etc etc just felt... idk....tired? Done before? Same old? I'll reserve my judgement on this as I feel (maybe hope) that there's more to all this than meets the eye. I think it might be interesting if Michael is still actually in there and subtly manipulating Dean and over time we might see some changes in him (though, that would be pretty much what they did with the Mark - so, hmmm... not sure where they can go with this that hasn't already been explored). Also, Dean was kind of a dick at times (hey, he acknowledged that himself!) and I'm not sure what to do with that. I feel like I'm passed feeling sorry for him (and even Sam for that matter - especially when they've done questionable things).

I absolutely ADORED in charge Sam in the first episode. The command he had over the demons!! Kill me now! That was awesome and I was rather hopeful we'd see more of this. But... alas. Sam reverted to being almost ashamed of his leadership skills in front of Dean. I know Sam is being careful and considerate around Dean now that he's back, but he just seemed to lose all that confidence when Dean returned. Again, we've seen this all before so it was just a bit, um, tiresome.

It also seemed like the perfect opportunity for the brothers to connect over a truly shared experience - angel possession. With a simple "I know" from Sam we could have seen Dean acknowledge Sam's past experiences and share the bond of surviving it. (I won't even start on the, still lingering, bitterness I feel about them allowing Dean to have an angel possess Sam without his consent in S9 - but how amazing would it be for that to be acknowledged. Yeah. It know it will never happen, I just have to accept that).

Anyway.

I felt 14.03 was a "tying-up" of the Wayward Daughters attempted spin off. I don't begrudge Berens for doing that, he seemed pretty invested in it. I'm glad we got more info on what happened to Kaia. The spin off was doomed to fail really - they just don't seem to get what it is about Supernatural that makes it work (hello - TWO BROTHERS WHO KEEP DOING STUPID THINGS FOR EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER THAT MUCH!). I appreciate they want to capture the magic that's kept SPn going for 14 years but it's pretty tough. My thought is they introduce a new Sam and Dean type characters (brothers or best buddies etc) and go back to telling hunting urban legend stories).

I still really like Jody. I like the relationship she was with the boys. :)

As for all the others? I don't know. At times I'm interested, but mostly I don't care so much. I know the show has to include them all to give the Js time off but unless the focus is on them I'm not particularly engaged. Their on screen chemistry is still amazing and I hang out for those moments.

That all said, I don't mind the idea of the bunker being a hunters headquarters. It makes some sense - especially as it's been breached so many times and SO many people have visited it now anyway, it's hardly a secret. I wonder where they are all sleeping though? Or maybe it's just a drop in spot. I think Dean will eventually shoo them all away at some point though.

I keep saying (and hearing) that it would be great to move on from the angel and demon storylines but I think it's time to accept that this is what Supernatural is now (and has been since S1 really, but just not has all encompassing as it is now). With the wings in the title card there's certainly no escaping it. Hopefully there might be at least one or two episodes this season that have Sam and Dean, on the road, in a weirdly decorated hotel, fighting a monster together.

I am enjoying not being so invested in the show now I have to say. I like not getting truly upset when it's bad (oh yes, there have been real tears in the past), but still feeling satisfied when it's good. :)

dusts off the neglected Journal

ash48 — Fri, 02 Feb 2018 12:33:25 GMT

*sheepishly waves*

I'm popping in because I feel like I need to write more than twitter will allow me (where I pretty much live now in terms of fandom).

I'm ALSO here because I loved that ep to the point of needing to post (wow, long time since that's happened). So...here's why I loved it soooo much:

Fair warning. I had approximately 3 glasses of wine before I watched this episode. I'm also in a rather happy place (for no particular reason other than it's Friday and the stars are probably aligning or something) so chances are I enjoyed this more than I might have done if those things hadn't happened. Maybe?

I also DIDN'T READ REACTIONS BEFORE I WATCHED IT. Wow, that can make a difference. The amount of "Dean wouldn't do that" or "Sam didn't get a story line" comments I read before I've seen the ep has been spoiling it for me. No one's fault, other than mine for checking reactions.

So.

1. SAM AND FUCKING DEAN! The beginning of the episode transported me back to Tall Tales. It was light hearted and quirky, with an underlining menace. When horror (the bludgeoning of a poor bystander) is met with that "merry" musical underscore there's this lovely discomfort that Supernatural (when it's bloody got it!) does brilliantly. But it was Sam's "Leave him alone", followed but them wrestling (!!) that had me squeeing. I MISS THIS!

2. The Monsters of the Week (the sister witches) told a story of Sam and Dean. This is what the show used to do a lot. The "other" characters mirrored or reflected the Sam and Dean story. LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID HERE. The sisters showed the darker side of Sam and Dean. They were sisters who were committed to saving someone they loved. Not much different to our brothers. Only, we know they'd never go THAT far - the sisters were malicious murderers. Our boys haven't gone that far, but this showed that they COULD (and it's a theme the show toys with occasionally).

And WOW! The sisters killed each other in the end. A moment where I literally put my hand to my mouth.

(Time out to say, there was a time where I thought the show might, one day, show Sam and Dean actually killing each other like that - not permanently, but, much like in Sex and Violence - they go at each other, and possibly kill each other. I even once thought it's how the show might end. Only one killing the other would be as a blessing, not through hate or a curse).

The mirroring of the MoTW and the brothers absolutely sold this episode to me.

ON TOP OF THAT!

3. We got Sam remembering Lucifer. I mean WHAT?!?! Since when have we had the writers give a moment to what Sam has suffered from Lucifer? That whole scene between Sam and Rowena just left me with my mouth agape. I want to think this is a new direction but I totally don't trust the Show anymore to carry this through. I'm just thankful we got even this.

I confess I'm not a fan of Rowena (because I can't pin her down dammit!), but I loved the twists and turns of this. I desperately want to believe her truth in this episode. She, much like Crowley, is a "baddie" who is actually a "goodie". The duplicity is actually quiet fascinating.

4. Argh! I even liked Cas! Did we see some of that solid bad-ass stuff from the past?! Can it be so?! PLEASE BE!!! It's be FOR-FUCKING-EVER since I've found this character remotely "sexy", but damn, I saw a glimmer in this episode. I want this from Cas much more than I want the humour.

5. WE EVEN HAD BEERS BETWEEN THE BOYS!! And YES YES, I know Sam probably needed to not walk off in the end but I DON'T CARE. We're actually getting some fucking EMOTION between these beautiful men. The tug and pull between these two is WHY I WATCH! I cried!

Mostly, I felt this episode was more intricate than it usually it. It had a delicate mix of what makes Supernatural, well, Supernatural. It wasn't perfect, but it had those necessary ingredients...

(Okay, okay. Sam not reaching the hex bag immediately is a bug (come on guys!) but Pffffff. I don't care. Sam remembered Lucifer!)

I laughed, I cried, I cringed, I sighed, I swooned, I hand-waved. And for me, THAT is what Supernatural is all about. DAMN YOU SHOW! Stop hooking me like this. You give me hope then sweep that from under my feet. But I'm happy to get this. So yay. :)

Steve Yockey was the writer of this ep. I think I have a new fav (sorry Berens, but I expected more from the Wayward Sisters I gotta say...).

Swinging by...

ash48 — Fri, 24 Nov 2017 11:57:58 GMT

Hey. Sorry for lack of review for 13.06 (and now for 13.07). In all honesty, I don't have a lot positive to say so I figure it's not great to write stuff (though, of course, I can't help myself so here's a little bit of stuff).

Last week's ep kinda just bored me and this week's ep was a dog's breakfast. That said, the directing was sharp (thankfully with so much going on), but as I don't really care a jot about any of those characters I found it hard to stay interested.

I pretty much figure they just want to return everyone so they can make it more of an ensemble show - which is great for all those actors but Sam and Dean are pretty much the only reason I stay tuned so, yeah. I figure this is just the way it will be now - fewer eps with just Sam and Dean. :(

And making Sam continually wrong when he tries to be compassionate? I'm done with that. Sidekick!Sam doesn't interest me either. Sam being gullible isn't a good look for him. And demons and fist fighting is just plain pissing me off. What happened to throwing them against a wall and sticking them there? Annyyyway.... I KNOW the next episode will be different (different writers etc), so I'll just hang in there for the odd episode that I enjoy.

In the meantime, due to rehearsals I won't have chance to write reviews any more (and I think I'm just losing interest to be honest). I will swing by and comment on stuff if it's not negative (and I feel like I have something to say! :D)

*hugs* to you all. Hope you enjoyed it more than me! xx

13.05 reaction / review

ash48 — Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:28:16 GMT

I can't believe we're already 5 episodes into the season. It's going so fast!

There were so many things to love about this episode. I have to admit I was expecting something really dreadful after seeing my twitter feed (lot's of discontent about it), so maybe because I was expecting that it ended up being not nearly as bad as I thought it might be.

There was only one thing (Dean's willingness to die to save the ghosts) that truly puzzled me, but I have since reconciled that (I'll get to that in a bit...).

The stuff I loved:

Genuinely scary opening scene!

The two brothers hunting together (*happy sigh* just like the good ole days).

Billie! The wonderful actress (Lisa Berry) just gobbles up the screen and is a gorgeous and powerful presence. I actually liked the explanation for how she became Death. It was a good get-out for the situation they had created (seriously, it must be SO difficult creating a tv WIP).

Sam being the BEST LITTLE BROTHER EVER! There were some of complaints about Sam being sidelined in this episode, but just his desire to lift Dean out of his depression and hopelessness gave him a powerful role in this episode. I know fans don't like either of their faves being the "caretakers", but there are times when they both play that role. Dean has done it MANY times for Sam. I don't think it hurts us seeing Sam being equally caring when Dean is in need.

The lovely banter between the brothers. More reveals about their relationship. They just know each other SO well (I loved that exchange about Dean knowing what Sam doesn't like etc).

Dean eating bacon. PERFECT! (That's me when I'm hung-over too *g*).

Dean post strip club. :)

Dean desperately wanting a win. This was so reminiscent of S2 when Sam needed a win to prove he wasn't evil. Sure, these themes are old ones in the series, but watching the boys struggle with their job in classic SPN. Either Sam is struggling (with Dean keeping the faith) or Dean is losing hope (with Sam keeping it for both of them). They BALANCE each other perfectly and I think this episode really explored that theme beautifully.

I loved - once again, that the boys were allowed to talk it our rather than what Dean saw being left unsaid (I thought for a minute that was going to happen and would have been majorly pissed off if that had happened).

Now for that kinda strange moment when Dean decided that killing himself was the best way to save the ghosts. I literally yelled "what the fuck?!" to the TV screen when he did that. It really came left of field and seemed completely over the top as a course of action. I then just thought "this is clearly a story devise to deliver some new information". And it was. It was created to re-introduce Billie as Death and help us understand the depths of Dean's disconnect and despair with his job. I also just felt that he, like us, knew he really wasn't going to die. It was a really strange moment. As much as I felt like, yes, Dean was ready to die if it was his time (he is just THAT tired and over it all), he wasn't actually suicidal. If that makes sense. He was just ready to make that ultimate sacrifice if it was called of him. I didn't like that Dean chose to die (seriously? He carries those syringes around with him??) in order to help ghosts - I would rather that he somehow died and met Billie that way, but *shrugs* that was the direction the writer decided to go.

It was also a little weird (but also heroic) that when asked for whatever he wanted, he chose to save total strangers and not asked for his loved ones to be returned to him. It just felt that if Dean was that cut up about his losses THAT is what he would have wanted fixed - instead he thought beyond himself. Or maybe it was for himself? In that he wanted to still feel like he saved innocent people.

Death is a really difficult thing to deal with on the show and each time the boys choose it over life it creates interesting dilemmas. I figure we, as fans, examine it much more than the writers probably do.

Anyway. I enjoyed the episode. The acting was solid and it was well paced. Some good scares also. I wanted to see more of the drill ghost tho! He was interesting and scary....

13.04 reaction / review

ash48 — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 11:44:09 GMT

I was late watching the episode this week, hence a late review. I've also just been cast in a new play so I fear my time is going to be even more limited (though, I'm happy to be starting a new production *g*).

I loved this one. So many great things going on. :)

I have to start by mentioning how great the title was: "The Big Empty". So many layered meanings. Not just the literal place, but the emptiness that all the characters were experiencing - Dean empty of hope, Sam empty of closure, Jack empty with the loss of his mother and not knowing who he is and Cas caught in the actual Big Empty (and likely feeling the emptiness of being so alone). The theme of the episode was grief and the exploration of the emptiness that is left behind when you lose someone.

This episode was much needed. It finally addressed the issues going on with the boys and instead of them leaving words, feelings and emotions unsaid, they all came out and were beautifully dealt with by the end of the episode. That was key to the whole episode for me. IF the episode ended, like it did last week, without a firm resolution, it would have been extremely frustrating.

I shed a little tear a number of times. I can't believe, that even now, this show moves me so much. Pretty much everything that Jack does moves me. He could be a quite annoying character, but instead the actor (Alex Calvert) is giving an engaging, multi-layered performance. The scene where he was with his (shape shifter) mother was heartbreaking. Fantastic writing and performances.

Hearing Sam admit that he needed his mother to be alive so he could have more time with her to experience the bond that Dean had with her, was not only a shock (totally wasn't expecting that!), but also a wonderful revelation. How nice to actually hear Sam say what's going on inside his head. And even if people Sam think already bonded with Mary last season (I had someone say that on a twitter post), I think it's kind of irrelevant what WE think. If Sam feels he needs to bond more with his mom, then I take that to be his truth. In other words, IT WORKS FOR ME! :)

Sam and Jack's relationship continues to be a wonderful and interesting one. I LOVED that what Jack heard at the end of the last episode (NOW I can appreciate that scene ;D) was addressed straight away. Sam was so honest and straight forward. And it worked. (In other words, I had contrived tension - I'm glad they chose not to do that).

My last observation about Sam is how fucking amazing he is at sticking by Dean. It really struck me just how resilient and tenacious he is. He knows Dean SO well that he knows that some of those potentially hurtful words are just that...words. He just pushes through with some sort of faith that it will all work out. *happy sigh*

I loved Dean's journey through this episode also. Actually, I think this episode was mostly about getting Dean through his emptiness. Getting him to see how he's hurting those around him and to take the steps of opening up, accepting Jack and acknowledging Sam's hope. This could have all be heavy-handed, but the writing and structure of the script meant we saw an organic transition from his anger and emptiness to and acceptance and acknowledgement.

Once again, Jared and Jensen gave stella performances. These guys don't just phone these in.

Even the shape-shifter counsellor (Mia Vallens) was interesting. She was given a great back-story and provided a much needed truth for Jack - it doesn't matter what you are, it matters what you do.. She would know. I really enjoyed the actress's performance.

And now to Cas. I'm honestly stuck what to say here. As I was watching I wondered if it was because I'm not really a Cas fan that it didn't connect with me. I mean, I really loved the effects in the scene and I think I like the idea of an evil "thing" sleeping in this place (even though I'm not sure what that actually means). I just felt uncomfortable watching evil!Cas taunt Cas. Maybe that was the point? Though I suspect it was more about just not really buying the performance. I suspect this is personal and I hope that Cas fans did enjoy it.

What I did like was that little sneak peek at past!Cas. It reminded me just how much Cas has been through. I desperately want to re-connect with this character, but they seem to constantly find ways to alienate him. Those little moments helped. I just want to see some real honesty and development from Cas. He's got to stop being clueless and return to a re-newed confidence and bad-assery. Maybe this season will take him on that journey.

My only niggle was the shape shifter's changes. Why did she leave blood everywhere in that bathroom (and how did it get all over the shower curtain?) and what did she do with her skin when she changed into Jack's mother? *handwaves*. And didn't we have some episodes where shape shifters stopped shedding their skins? I can't clearly remember now...

The final scene between the brothers was wonderful. Dean asking Sam to keep hope for both of them was...*guh* It just brought the whole episode (and their grief AND their relationship) together. It brought them back on the same page (though I'll almost take bets that it might be forgotten next week? I hope not!) with a chance that they can now move forward.

Well done Show! Well, actually well done writer Meredith Glynn and director John Balham (one of my fave directors of the show).

13.03 reaction / review

ash48 — Sat, 28 Oct 2017 10:47:29 GMT

You know how in my last review I mentioned how nice it was that even though Sam and Dean aren't on the same page at least they're not fighting about it?

Yeah well. I probably shouldn't have said that.

(some spoilers for future episodes, but nothing that isn't out there already)

I gotta say that episode didn't really grab me. I mean, there were some bits I liked (loved even) but mostly I was just bored and a bit annoyed. But...*shrugs*... that's a pretty standard reaction to some eps isn't it?

Mostly I was annoyed that for a Robert Berens episode it failed to hit some marks he normally hits easily. Namely - character development. It was also pretty heavy-handed, even clunky at times. I think the big problem for writers in this series is knowing exactly what's gone before. Berens would have been given the brief : introduce a new character for the spin-off series, show Dean grieving and show Sam connecting with Jack because he knows what he's going through. On that level Berens delivered, but we already knew that stuff about Sam and Dean so a lot of that ended up being just anvillious (no idea if that's a word, but you know what I mean *g*).

That said, I LOVED the scene between Sam and Jack where Sam talked about knowing about the darkness inside himself. It actually brought a tear. It was an extremely honest moment and Jared knocked it out of the park.

And Jensen really delivered too. He was consistent in his mood throughout the episode. It was a well focused performance. Even though it frustrated me (this Dean is devoid of joy and lacks a care for Sam that it breaks my heart to watch), Jensen didn't waiver in his delivery.

The thing that really surprised me is how bland the new character, Patience, was. Berens is normally great at that stuff. But I ended up not caring a jot about her (or her father), which leaves me worried for the Wayward Sisters spin off (not that I'm exactly excited for it. It's not a show I'll probably watch, but I would like to it do well for the sake of the actors and crew etc.)

The episode didn't really make a lot of sense actually. Missouri (*weeps*) contacting them out of the blue after 12 years with no more than a "oh, it's you" from the boys? There was such a lack of depth to any of that. I just had a feeling that it was all just rushed through, with little care for what she meant to Sam and Dean in S1 (yeah, I know it's a long time ago but for fans like me she a crucial part of Sam and Dean's early life). Much like the amulet's return, she was "token" and ended up just being a tool for the introduction of a new character (though I did like the way she confront her death - so sassy).

Jody wasn't her usual self either. I love her snide, oft humorous quips. I get that she's a hardened hunter now, but we still need to see some level of joy from these characters I think.

The clichéd "girl gets kidnapped and villain monologues before killing her" really annoyed me. Please! Give me a better reason for not killing someone other than "we have to wait for the heroes to arrive to save her" (and then use that saving as a way to see that..."oh, look at that, I really am psychic!"). Also, the method and speed in which they found her was simply ridiculous (seriously, if this was a method for finding people why haven't the boys heard about it before? It would be an AWESOME tool to have up their sleeves).

I have mixed feelings about the final confrontation between the boys at the end. I didn't like Dean taking out his grief out on Sam (even though I got why he did that - Sam's probably the only one who would take it maybe?) and I hate that level of anger between them at any time. That said, it's a crucial ingredient to the show. Last season there was a lot of criticism that there wasn't a lot going on between the brothers - that was simply because they got on so well. These scenes heighten the drama and is usually what gets fans talking. It also means there might be some reconciliation between them at some point.

Not sure what to make of Cas being in the empty yet. I was rather hoping we'd see alt!Cas (which, I still think is possible. With Cas's "spirit" in the Empty (if that's what it was) and a version of his body in the alt-universe we might be in for something interesting? A coming together of spirit and body maybe? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking...)

Aaaanyway. It wasn't dreadful. The Sam and Jack scenes got me through it and seeing Missouri again was a delight. JP and JA's performances were spot on and Alex continues to do great things with Jack (my heart broke for him at the end). I'm just disappointed that Berens didn't deliver a stronger introduction to Patience (and kept Missouri alive for future episodes in the WS spinoff). But maybe there's room to grow in the actual back-door spin-off episodes.

A little side note: I've seen a lot of comments (on twitter) claiming both Sam and Dean were OOC in the episode. I'm confused a bit by that because I think their actions in this episode were very much in the realms of their characters. We might not like the way they are reacting, but I don't think either of them are doing anything that's particularly out of character? Are they?

13.02 a few things...

ash48 — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 12:46:41 GMT

Another rather enjoyable episode. (Tho my heart sank when I saw who wrote the episode (yep, the infamous Duo), but it held together fairly well. :)

Sam's hair is on point this season (yay!). Dean's ruggedly handsome face is also on point I gotta say. These guys are ageing gracefully that's for sure (and for hunters that's quite amazing).

Stuff I liked: All the Sam 'n Dean and Jack stuff. Donatello (cute), the hotel (always love seeing that well used bedhead. And the red colour has been used before - notably in "Sex and Violence". And I always love it when they show the hotel sign. I think I have a thing for hotel signs!) and the arrival of Michael - that was cool.

I love that Sam and Dean can TALK about not being on the same page but still be ok with it. Sam supporting Dean is cool and Sam seeing himself in Jack is very cool. Jack continues to be intriguing - kudos again to the actor pulling this off very well. I think the scene with Jack mimicking Dean was my fave. Jack desperately wants Dean's approval (like Dean wanting John's) - some nice parallels there. Dean is conflicted -and is probably already thinking about the time when Sam was in that dangerous place of perhaps becoming "evil". Sam is definitely thinking about that.

Stuff that was ho hum: Hell (why are demons SO boring and ineffectual these days? ), Lucifer (boo. I used to love Lucifer) and human vs demon fist fight (I'm just going to accept that Sam and Dean have super powers now and resist any punch or strangulation from an angel or demon).

Stuff I scratched my head over: Sam checking John's journal for lore on all this stuff. This seems weird to me. Did John keep notes on angels? I seem to remember John barely believed the YED was a thing - let alone angel lore. I suppose I can accept that John wrote down a lot of things he didn't really have an understanding about - just stuff he studied trying to figure out what was going on with Sam all those years ago.

I am hoping we can have a run-of-the-mill MoTW episode soon. Though, I get the feeling this may be a heavily driven myth arc season? Dunno. I like the potential of the alternative universe. Makes me wonder if there's an alternative Sam and Dean there (that would be cool!). I suspect there's an alt-Cas there (or the real Cas probably). It allows for all sorts of "dead" characters to re-appear. I hope they make better use of it than they did Purgatory. Some great potential that's for sure. :)

13.01 reaction / review

ash48 — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 14:46:25 GMT

Show is back \o/. Initially I didn't think I had much to say about this episode, but I've pondered on it over the last couple of hours since watching and there's a couple of things I have to say it seems...*g*

I admit I had a bit of trepidation going into the season opener. I was excited to see the boys again but I wasn't sure how they were going deal with the loss of Cas (and Mary). I thought there might be lots of moping and tension between Sam and Dean, but it turns out that even though there was some of that, it was actually handled really well.

I'm hesitant to say this (because there will no doubt be an episode (or episodes) that debunks this), but I felt like Supernatural came of age tonight. It felt like it had "grown up", but at the same time it was still grounded in what makes the show...well, the Show. :) It acknowledged that Sam and Dean has been through all this before (losing people they love and facing a new threat), but at the same time allowed them to feel everything that's associated with that.

I really loved the writing (kudos to Andrew Dabb) and direction (by seasoned director Phil Sgriccia). I particularly liked the structure. Sam and Dean dove directly into the "hunt" before spending the time to mourn their losses. Initially I was surprised by this, but I like that it was almost the "elephant in the room" during the episode before it closed the episode with a very moving tribute to all those who they've lost.

Jensen portrayed a man driven by loss and heartbreak, but someone has been through all this before, perfectly. He wasn't mopey or self destructive, but rather doing what Dean does best - hunting with a belligerence as a coping mechanism. He simmered,lashed out and then seethed. He had a weight on his shoulders that could have stopped him, but didn't.

Jared portrayed a man hanging on by a mere thread perfectly also. I love the way Jared is able to contain Sam's pain through hope and optimism. His words in the final scene brought me to tears. It was so full of feeling (I also think this has a lot to do with know Jared's personal struggles - he just brings so much truth to these scenes). That final scene was very moving.

I particularly liked the way each character was portrayed without either of them being compromised. They each showed grief, but in their own way. They both had strong story lines and we saw the strong connections they each had to the people they lost.

In fact, all the performances were very strong. I thought Alexander Calvert did a great job portraying Jack. At times he reminded me of Cas (I would like to think this was deliberate as he was tuning in to Cas's presence and thought he was his father). He played innocent and potential evil perfectly. I also liked the new sheriff (and her son).

The thing that stuck me the most in this episode was the similarities between Dean "hiding" when pleading for help (praying) and the scene from Home when he calls John and pleads for help when he was out of his depth. It's such a Dean thing and was a great way to join young Dean with this older Dean. He's different, but still the same. He's a strong man (a "hero") but he has weakness (that he feels he needs to hide). A beautifully shot scene also.

Sam and Dean's connection was a strong as ever. They had differences in the approach to Jack but it didn't mean they fought, but rather they acknowledged each other's approach and respected it. This is why I felt the show had come of age. They know each other so well now that the different approaches is a given. They just seemed so kinda soft with each other. Like they respect that each other are suffering but they know the hunt continues. I dunno. Hard to explain, but it made the episode for me.

My only niggle ('cause you know there will always be one - or a hundred ;D), is that the angels fight like they are mortals. They could easily kill Sam and Dean but don't (they must know they're the leads in a TV show or something...*g*). I was also a little surprised how quickly Dean was prepared to burn Cas's body and accept that Mary was dead. Though I think this was a lot to do with his way of coping with his pain. Accept the losses and move on as quickly as he can (even though we know that won't happen! *g*)

Overall a strong, engaging episode. I am really interested to see what they do with Jack (as long as it doesn't become to soap-ish and cause major issues between the brothers). I am also looking forward to see how they deal with life without anyone to call on (though I suppose there's still Jody).

Bring it show!

tap tap Is this thing on?

ash48 — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 11:17:36 GMT

Just curious. Who's still here? I confess to not checking LJ in FOREVER. I've even let my payments lapse. :( I still see lots of fandom stuff via twitter though (I seldom tweet stuff because whoa, that place can be vicious), so I'm still (kinda) fan-ish.

I'm looking forward to the show's return! As debbiel66 recently reminded me - our boys are amazing and deserve our support (and they really, really are and supporting them is EASY! <3)

*hugs* to ya all.

A thank you post

ash48 — Wed, 19 Jul 2017 10:53:03 GMT

I'm not on LJ much these days - and unless S13 really (really!) inspires the past passion I once had for the show, I'm not sure that I'll be back.

I do want to give a HUGE shout out to some very special peeps who are keeping the spn_littlebro archive still running. Photobucket recent screwed up the photo links we had to the site and ayane42 had worked hard to restore the images. She's also kept the newsletter going and making sure there are stories record to the site and newsletter. <3 Thanks also to wetsammy for her fabulous work on the littlebro tumblr site and to the wonderful madebyme for her continuing recs to the archive.

Thanks guys! *HUGS*

In the land of me - I'm doing fine. :) Working hard. Playing hard-ish. ;) I'm missing the passion I once possessed for the show and fandom. I do hope it will return one day, but if it doesn't I have extremely wonderful memories of the time I once had.

LJ stats stuff

ash48 — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 11:35:07 GMT

It's with a kind of bitter sweetness I reflect on this. All those wonderful comments - they reflect the engagement I've had with fandom over the years with so many amazing people. My most favourite thing has been the conversations (and yeah, getting comments on vids was pretty awesome too... *g*). Thank you. <3 The "bitter" part is knowing it's come to an end and that time will never be relived. But the "sweet" part is looking back on it all with such joy and gratitude. :)

#mylivejournal #lj18 #happybirthday

12.18 (very short) reaction

ash48 — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 13:03:35 GMT

Yay! I can finally make a positive post about the show. I've been missing that feeling and I am happy to say that feeling of "there's my show!" was back.

Nothing deep and meaningful to say (in fact, I think I've completely run out of deep and meaningful things to say these days), but I loved that it was just the boys hunting together. Simply MoTW episode that was delightfully old school. And of course that ending was magic...<3

And now I'm not sure if I post to DW, crosspost or just...leave it all together. Arghhh

12.17 reaction

ash48 — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 14:07:42 GMT

Better late than never?

To be honest I didn't feel like I had much to say on this episode and so I didn't posted anything. But because I am slightly OCD I can't miss posting something about 12.17 (there would be a gap and I just can't have that *g*).

Actually, I'm still stuck for what to say. There were some bits I really liked - Eileen mostly - but essentially I just didn't connect with the episode at all. There was precious little SamnDean *sadface* and all the side stories just left me a little cold. I'm puzzled why so much (and so many characters) had to be crammed into the one episode - Eileen, Mick, BMoL, Crowley, Lucifer, Mary, Ketch and, er, Sam and Dean. Mick's story alone would probably have been enough to tackle. They were building his backstory nicely and then... BHAM! Dead.

I think I was supposed to feel sympathetic toward Mick but I struggled because I just couldn't get past the fact he killed his best friend when he was a child. I know the poor guy was being horribly manipulated by the (simply AWFUL) BMoL but to actually have it in him to kill his best friend... I struggled to sympathise (though I loved what the actor did with the character in his short time).

And don't even get me started on what they are doing with Mary. I saw this interesting post on tumblr about the inconsistencies of Mary's characterisation this season. I agree with much of this. I have been bouncing between being really interested in what they are doing and being horrified. Sam and Dean are now working with the BMoL so why is she still not working with them? I totally understood her needing some time to adjust but being totally aloof with her boys just doesn't work now.

I enjoyed the connection between Eileen and Sam - it was sweet, but I worry that if they become an item later on some horrible fate will become her. So let's just hope they remain friends and just a fellow hunter. :)

Anyway. I'm now just hanging out for those rare MoTW gems. Sam and Dean don't have a storyline this season - which has its upside in that they aren't at odds with each other - but it also makes it hard for me to actually connect with some of the episodes. Still, I like the boys in the screen so I'm still here! :D

End of LJ as we know it?

ash48 — Wed, 05 Apr 2017 14:05:05 GMT

I just agreed to the new Russian ToS (they popped up when I logged in) because I can't just NOT sign into LJ, but what did I just agree to? I tried to read it all but *head spin*. Did I just sign away my life away or something? Or is all much the same as before? I do have a Dreamwidth account but I can't even imagine transferring everything over there (or firing up a place I'm not at all familiar with (is fandom even active over there?)). *sigh* it's all just too hard. I have history here. It's where my fandom home was/is. And it really is a journal and therefore it holds many amazing memories that I don't want to lose.

12.16 reaction

ash48 — Fri, 31 Mar 2017 14:20:05 GMT

*ugh*

Warning folks. Don't enter if you don't want negativity. I stopped myself from saying too much on twitter because followers don't have a choice about seeing stuff there. Here ya do. So heed the warning because it ain't pretty...

Here's the thing. If I wanted to watch a show about teenage angst I would make that choice and seek out (other) shows in order to watch it. That felt like I tuned into teen werewolf soap opera - and not a good one.

I understand that this show explores the human condition but damn, do they have to make it so boring?

I have come to care ZERO about Claire and therefore her predicament didn't engage with me at all. Why have they made her so unlikable? I mean insulting Sam (and Dean) does not help exactly endear us to her. Let alone her continual "I'm better than anyone" attitude. Every time we see her she's the same. She seems to "learn" and then returns to being a brat.

Anyway. It wasn't just her that made the episode awful, it was all just soooo boring. There was very little tension and Sam and Dean were barely a feature - guest stars in their own show. Sure, it was lovely seeing them all caring for their surrogate daughter - but I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THAT!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GRITTY HORROR?

Aaaanyway....Things that I didn't mind so much:

- that BMoL are still an enigma (I have no idea which way they're going with them and that's a little intriguing).

- I liked Adam Fergus' performance as Mick Davies. His conflicting emotions were clear and I suspect he'll turn on the BMoL in the future (or something like that).

- they mentioned the "shades of grey" from season 2. I know that's what they've been hinting at all this time so it was good to have that at least fully addressed.

- that they stayed in a classy motel (though chocolates on the pillow sound more like 5 star not 3 star). It was a nice way of reminiscing what this show used to be like...;D

Aaaand...I think that's it. It's great to have the show back, but DAMN I can't wait until at least one episode with just Sam and Dean, on the road, solving a case. I know those episodes will be few and far between now because they now have 3 CHILDREN each - but I hope we at least get a few.

Is it just me or is S12 a bit of a muddle? I'm not sure it knows what its focus or story line is. BMoL? Mary? Lucifer and Crowley? Lucifer's baby? Cas and Heaven? And where do Sam and Dean fit in all at? They seem like observers at the moment - characters passing through all these other storylines. Maybe it'll all come together somehow at the end (forever hopeful *g*)

It's back! \o/

ash48 — Tue, 28 Mar 2017 12:51:24 GMT

*phew* spn_littlebro is back. I got this message from LJ:

Thank you for contacting us about this matter. Your community was flagged as potentially being a source of spam, and as such was suspended. Upon further review, however, this does not appear to be the case, and your community has been unsuspended. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Regards,
LiveJournal Abuse Prevention Team

Abuse Prevention Team? Is that because of all the hurt!Sam? (hee) I can't believe it was seen as a potential source of spam (we only post once a month!). Anyway, glad that got cleared up.

PIMP!!!

ash48 — Sun, 26 Mar 2017 11:51:33 GMT

(Still hoping spn_littlebro account will be restored soon. I feel a little sick thinking about all the recs that are on the site and all the work that's been done on the community over the years. *sniff*)

meep

ash48 — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 15:11:13 GMT

The spn_littlebro account has been suspended and I have no idea why!

Does anyone know anything about this sort of thing? Why would a community be suspended? Especially when there's been no notification of wrong doing -or anything...

12.15 reaction

ash48 — Sun, 12 Mar 2017 08:00:47 GMT

Well That was rather curious...

This episode felt kind of weird to me. I'm pretty sure I enjoyed it but there were some moments that really had me scratching my head - mostly the little 4th wall breakages. Seeing Negan's (aka papa Winchester) barb-wired covered baseball bat was both hilarious and strange. I loved the shoutout and TWD crossover but it took me completely out of the moment and I wondered if we were in for one of the comedy eps. Then there was the Queen referenced in one scene (a shout out to Misha's Queen obsession during his GISHWHE week) and the comment "girl of the week". The show referenced it's own format and that threw me off too.

All in all I think the rhythm was slightly off. I can't really put my finger on it.

Anyway...

Sam and Dean's banter was funny and cute (and really Sam? You keep track of Dean's underwear?? DO TELL!!). They had an easy familiarity between them which is always lovely to watch.

I found the opening really interesting. It had all the hallmarks of a typical SPN opening (killing by the monster of the week), but, unusually, it took its time to establish the characters. It seemed weird, but by the end it made some sense. The girl's story (eek, can't remember her name off the top of my head) became an important part of Sam's story later on.

I found the performance of the actress playing said girl to be quite weak and I couldn't tell if she was deliberating playing someone in shock or just giving us nothing.

I also found it weird that Sam and Dean would visit her only to tell her she was mistaken in what she saw (to help her sleep at night?!). We haven't seen them do that since S2 (Ronald from NightShifter). And then they drive away and then, um, come back (seemingly...what? having a "feeling" she was in trouble?) to save the day.

Meanwhile, we have Cas and Crowley interludes. It was good to see what Cas was actually up to rather than just being told he's looking for Kelly. I liked seeing Cas wanting to be accepted back into heaven (but why does he have such dry lips?! It's always so distracting...).

I think one of my favourite moments in this episode was the twist with Crowley. Finally! Smart!Crowley. Though I couldn't believe how dumb those two other demons were (like DUH! guys. It's Lucifer!!!). I thought Crowley was going to get taken down again, but yay! He outsmarted Lucifer AND made sense of why he kept the vessel for so long. THANK YOU SHOW!

Other little oddities - what really was the point of Crowley being there with Dean? He told them about the hellhound being loose but that he couldn't control it. So, um, why was he needed? (my own answer - so he could "bond" more with Sam and Dean for something in the future). The girl thanking him and then Sam thanking him was strange considering he didn't actually do anything (other than turn up). I suspect we are leading to Crowley being more "helpful" in the future.

At first I was puzzled why on earth Dean would tell Sam to look after Baby when he was about to drive her - as if a) Sam doesn't know how much she means to Dean and b) Dean doesn't know how much Baby means to Sam - but we later find out that the dialogue was about what happened to her in the end. So yeah - just a "joke". But kinda lame when we know the history of Baby and the boys.

Dean, once again, didn't get the chance to kill the hellhound. It didn't bother me initially but then I saw some discontent about this on Twitter and I could see their point. It probably would have been satisfying to see Dean get his revenge. But, then again, Sam has some history with them too and he'd equally want to kill one.

Another one of my favourite bits was the parallel between the girl (I really should look up her name) and her would-be-boyfriend. Sam connected her lack of honesty to his own and it brought about him telling Dean about the BMoL. Firstly - yay! - we don't have weeks of Sam keeping a secret and secondly *phew* it didn't create disconnect between them. Though I suspect when they discover the true nature of the BMoL Sam will feel guilty for getting Dean involved. Or something. The big reveal about what they've done is yet to come, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

So yeah. Mixed bag. Some pacing issues, some canon issues but it was mixed with cute banter and some satisfying moments.

Hit me!

ash48 — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 10:50:53 GMT

So I'm curious. Who's writing episode reviews on Live Journal these days? Even though I seldom comment on other reactions (usually because I will voice my own here) I do like reading what others say. I'm also thinking some sort of "round up" of LJ reviews might be interesting.

Anyway - if you know of any regular LJ reviewers hit me! :)

Thanks
xx

12.14 reaction

ash48 — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 13:34:19 GMT

I've been trying to write up a reaction to this ep for the last few days and I just can't seem to get the words out.

I loved it! I thought it was one of the strongest episodes this season. I was thrilled Mary had a chance to explain herself - I'm back to enjoying her complexity. The boys were great and I'm loving the BMoL storyline.

I feel like there's so much to say I just don't know where to start. So I'll leave it for any discussion that might, or might not, happen. Ask me questions and I'll answer them! :)

The only thing I'll say is - it's worth noting that Sam and Dean don't know what we know about the BMoL. The only experience they've really had is rogue Toni *weeps*, other than that they know they have cool gadgets and they want to rid the world of monsters. And now Mary is on board. It made sense to me that Sam said "I'm in" at the end and I suspect Dean will get on board as well (they were hinting he would in that episode). It could be that Sam can see where he and Dean could help them, or that it's better to be on the inside of this outside force. Either way I'm excited to see where they go. It's got great potential (and why I wish Berens could just write all the eps so there's one vision/thread running through the show).

12.13 reaction

ash48 — Thu, 02 Mar 2017 11:31:54 GMT

It took me a while to catch this episode (due to being away for a family gathering), but I've finally seen it and...surprise surprise...I actually liked it! :)

(it's mostly a surprise to me be because a) it was a Duo ep and b) it had Crowley and Rowena in it and I'm generally not that interested in their dramas)

I was ready to dismiss this episode as one that just wasn't going to be for me. I didn't make an effort to watch it while I was away because I just didn't think would be one that I'd like.

Turns out I did like it and, actually, it helped make more sense of what they're doing this season.

Sure, it had some MAJOR *head scratching* moments (which I'll touch on later) but because it had a couple of really good pay-offs (I'm all about the pay-offs!) it ended up being quite satisfying.

The main reason it worked for me is because Mary made more sense (compared to last week's episode where she seemed prepared to let her sons die) and Sam's torture was (finally!) mentioned. It also highlighted the theme that is running through this season - motherhood and parenting.

Sam and Dean were solid and I loved that when Sam was recalling his torture they cut to Dean's worried face. There was a lovely solidarity between them - especially when having to listen to what Mary has been up to.

I was relieved that Mary actually voiced her reasons for siding with the BMoL - they may be naive and short-sighted reasons, but at least she was able to let us know what's going on with her. I was also thankful she confessed to the boys - anytime a secret is out in the open is satisfying. I also really loved that we didn't get to hear what she said - just that she was giving them her reasons. I feel like I'm back on track with her characterisation after this episode.

I really liked the ghosty moments - they were pretty creepy and that's always a win. :)

I liked Gavin - his comment about not fitting mirrored Mary's and Cas's previous statements about not fitting in. He was also a good son (like Sam and Dean) to parents who aren't exactly paternal (maybe mirroring Mary and John?).

And I absolutely loved Mark's Lucifer. He is captivating to watch - his performance was devious, with an delicious edge of danger.

The music montage at the end was excellent.

All that said I think this episode works best without thinking too hard about it. Some of my *head scratches* were:

* I found it a tough sell that Crowley cared for Gavin at all. We've seen nothing of him since his last appearance and we've not seen Crowley develop a relationship with him. His death would have been much more powerful if that had been established before this episode. It did mirror the lack of connection we saw between Rowena and Oskar - the child she was supposed to have loved. I LIKED the revenge element from Rowena (very within her character), but it made little sense without us feeling anything for either of their losses.

* Cas seems to be having a very hard time locating Kelly, whereas others seemed to locate her easily (not surprising if she decides to walk backstreets by herself!)

* Time travel is always difficult to pull off and sending Gavin back would have changed so many timelines it's just not worth thinking about (not least that the teachers wouldn't have died so Sam and Dean wouldn't have investigated their deaths...etc. etc). Having Fiona appear during the spell also made no sense - he was being sent back so she wasn't bitter so that needed to happen before she/he died. Anyway *handwave*

* Crowley kept a rotting meat suit? Really? Why?! And how is it able to contain Lucifer now? (maybe I missed that piece of exposition).

After this episode I can see the potential for some interesting developments. I'd liked to be able to trust them with the exploration of parenting - if they can make it multi-faceted it could be really good. Even though I'm getting a sense that the show is getting kinda tired (or maybe that's just me?) it seems to be still managing to pull out some entertaining episodes.

12.12 reaction

ash48 — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 13:17:33 GMT

I know I shouldn't post this reaction because I really didn't like that episode but I feel the need to work out my thoughts so I'll put it here.

Please don't click and read if you loved it (and I know many did - I'm against the stride with this one *g*). I just feel like I'm getting closer and closer to being completely done.

I blame myself of course. Last week I was saying how much I'm enjoying the nostalgia and I've been saying how much I've loved what they are doing with Mary. I even said how much I have been enjoying this season. I'm not really sure how one episode changed all that for me. That episode left me angry and bitter and reminded me of the feelings I've had in the past with this show.

I'm overreacting of course, but I usually do when I feel this let down after an episode.

Up until now I have been enjoying Mary's journey. It's made so much sense to me - her feeling of not fitting in, her needing distance from her boys to understand herself, burying herself in hunting to feel connected etc. But her actions in this episode not only didn't make sense, they created an aspect of her character that I wasn't ready for.

She not only lied to her sons in order to get them involved in a hunt, she risked their lives for an object that she gave to people who tortured her son (and really? the colt? An object from the past that was SO important to the storylines. And now....Ugh). She also didn't come clean when their lives were threatened and she brushed Sam off when he asked after her. I almost thought she was possessed, but instead they have decided to create the usual "Winchester drama" by making her truly awful. Until now I could defend her characterisation - in fact I have a few times. I've loved the 3D characterisation and the (what looked like) exploration of motherhood. But nope. She went from someone who needed some time to someone who lied and betrayed the two people she needs to trust and should protect.

She also got a hunter killed (one that wasn't prepared for what he was facing) and she was prepared to let Cas die. Man, her priorities suddenly became very screwed up. Did I want Mary to be a good guy? You betchya. I wasn't at all prepared for her to be part of the "big bads" this season. :(

And the thing is...why? What made her side with her son's tortures over her sons? What made her think that killing all monsters is better than being loyal? What made her give over the colt after every thing that went down? Also, why weren't her reasons shown to us? Why not show us her journey to these decisions...

And yeah sure. It will be about her redeeming her mistakes but I'm just so over this direction - making people dicks and then they make some mighty sacrifice to make it all right. Either that or they'll follow the other Campbells and she'll just die and instead of feeling sad about that we'll be cheering.

Part of me hopes there is a major reveal about this (she's soulless maybe? Perhaps she's soul damaged? Not returned complete?), but I also know that it's more likely it's about redemption and I'm so done with that.

I am so angry in this direction (but I will forgive all if we get a really (really!) good reason for this).

I also found the dying Cas scenario tedious. Mainly because we knew he wasn't going to die but he got to make a cheesy death-bed speech nonetheless. I actually thought they were actually going to do it - kill him - but oh look at that! A miracle cure. I know this is because I have (sadly) lost any feelings for Cas. I really didn't care about his situation so it made it hard to watch. And damn that makes me sad. :(

Another thing that I found weird was that I would normally be ALL OVER a Tarantino homage. I love (most of) his films. In the beginning I was very excited by the direction but as the episode wore on it just annoyed me - especially the repeats of scenes we'd already seen. It also seemed to diffuse the tension (that and the music). This is a purely personal response and I do appreciate that an attempt was made to be creative and different.

I also should have been excited to see Mark back as Lucifer but by then I was too pissed off to care. I then thought why is he in Mark's suit again? I am assuming it's like Cas - he can somehow choose which suit he prefers.

Overall I just found it pretty tedious and annoying. I would have just brushed it off as an ep that didn't do it for me (which is actually ok with me these days - I accept there will be some eps in a season that I don't like) but it was what they did with Mary that had me steaming.

To be honest I think mostly I'm kinda just over it all. If I can't enjoy an episode with a lot of the regular side characters then I'm kinda doomed. We'll see. Give me a good reason for Mary and it will restore my faith.

I just hope they have a few more MoTW eps to come - more and more the myth arc eps - or the ones with Crowley, Cas and Rowena - are just not doing it for me. *unhappy sigh*

(Oh, on the positive side - Sam got to be badass and killed the demon (who wasn't actually bad until Mary stole from him) and Dean killed a demon to save Sam. The cafe scene was cute (when the camera stayed still) and there were some stunning cinematic moments. *g*)

12.11 reaction

ash48 — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 14:20:07 GMT

Better late than never... *g*

I have to say one of the things I'm really loving about this season is the nostalgia. The "then" segments are mini flashbacks to the early seasons and I'm all "oh I had forgotten about that" or "oh I loved that bit". I'm also loving that in so many episodes Sam has had a chance to reflect on something that has happened to him in the past - possession, powers, soullessness and in this episode it was watching Dean die. I know there have been some complaints about Sam not having a story line this season (and yeah, that is a thing but I don't actually think Dean really has one either), but at least there's a recognition of what he's been through in the past. Of course I would LOVE them to actually address all the non-con that Sam has had to endure over the many years, but I'm not sure that will ever happen.

It's always satisfying to have a brother focused episode and I did enjoy this one for that reason. Any episode where something is happening to one bro and the other one has to "fix" it is engaging and always makes my heart skip a happy beat.

I did have a few reservations about this one but mostly it hit all the right notes. It's a shame they didn't make it a two-parter because dealing with memory loss is such a deep and fascinating subject, they could have really explored it further - especially considering how well Jensen and Jared handled the material. Dean's memory loss had to be crammed into such a short time frame (basically that mirror scene) and I can't help but think it would have been amazing to watch a more gradual loss for Dean and then with Sam realising it's just a matter of time before he's forgotten completely. As it were they actually did a remarkable job fitting what they did in - particularly the fine balance between humour and seriousness.

I was thankful that it wasn't all just funny Dean moments (which I feared once it started). Dean's mirror scene was very much needed to show the fear and enormity of what was going on for him - of which Jensen did a great job (though I'm not sure why it made me feel uncomfortable to watch?). I also loved that they gave Sam the chance to show his fear. Jared did a great job of showing Sam as the carer but also as someone realising what it would mean to losing a brother to (essentially) dementia. It was a nice balance between the brothers I felt.

I loved all the little moments between them - my fave being the one in the bathroom. There was something very personal about them sitting in a bathroom together - in a space that's usually reserved for private stuff. I love the idea of Sam filling Dean in on his life (I want the outtakes!) And Dean's admission at the end that remembering "us" was better than living a life not remembering all the things he's done was poignant and honest.

I suppose my only real reservation was that final Dean montage. It weakened the episode for me - mainly because it didn't fit in the narrative and was pretty much just fan-service. I have no issue with fan-service as such, but after such a thoughtful episode it seemed to be a way of just saying "oh look at the way Jensen can pull these funny faces". I figure they wanted to use the bull-riding footage - but they could have found a way to fit that in without adding bits of footage we had just seen. I don't want to be a party-pooper because I'm sure it was a joy to many (I would have enjoyed it too as part of a fan-vid *g*), so I'll take it in the spirit I know it was meant - as a bit of fun. :)

I continue to enjoy this season, even though it feels a little uneven. It lacks the intensity of some previous seasons but I kinda like that. The lack of intensity comes from the fact that the brothers aren't fighting each other - which I'll take over them fighting any day. :)