10th April 2013

Why do i rush into success when i can sit back and enjoy the process of success? The very reason i quit school is because i dont want to rush my whole life to death, literally.

Why not sit back and observe your surrounding? Inspirations are everywhere. Be inspired.

I'm afraid of big things.
Big objects.
Big people.
Big sounds.
Big dreams.
Maybe that's why I could never see the sky for long.
I'm afraid of what it holds.
I'm afraid of my future.
It's big and far away, just like the sky.
I want to embrace it.
Face my fear, face my future.
Look for my life in this big big world.
Find my purpose in life.
Real purpose.
Not design purpose.
Or designed purpose.
I know my life will be a lot bigger than it is now.
I dont know, but I just know it.
I'm sure of it.

I just want to send this to my closer friends, not knowing its purpose, but i just feel that you guys can understand where i'm coming from. I don't need extra explanations for it. I'm seeing some of you living your dream and im proud and envious to say that you guys are. I'm still having nightmares of not being able to graduate and I think it will still haunt me for awhile, but I'm glad to say that you my friend are living a wonderful life. Each of you are living your success and I will eventually get there too. I don't know how long I will take to get there, it scares me to even think about it, but when times comes, do tell me alright, friend? :) I'm happy to grow with everyone.

Travelling is good.
It cleases the mind and soul and refreshes my life. I guess I'm just being my spiritual self again.

Friends, stop me when I rush into success again the next time. It's been awhile since I spoke my mind so clearly like this and I must say that I was clearly desperately making up for quitting school by piling up work in my life, and I almost lost my mind by getting 38.6 degrees for 5 days, almost missing my japan trip. I'm lucky to have you guys, for you guys can tell when im pushing myself to my limits.

I'll do my best to live on my own pace from now on, and as friends, please watch me grow :)
Thank you :)

Loves,
Christina
Xoxo

Today I saw myself. A bespectacled, punggol sec uniform, long blouse, skirt so long it could reach the ankles, green prefect tie, tied-up hair, exposed forehead, carrying a bag bigger than herself and shoes bigger than she can fit in. I saw a girl who reminded me of my past. I wanted to reach out my hands to tap her shoulders. I resisted. I wondered if the ten years younger me would want to see the ten years later her in this state. Jobless. Out of school. Freeloader. I couldn't bare to tell her, but I wouldn't bare to leave my eyes off her too. She kept looking back at me as I stared unintentionally.

20 years down the road, how would I be if i happen to see the 22 years old me staring at 12 years old me? It all happens under the same huge blue sky...

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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