in the darkest of hours

REMINDER/UPDATE POST

2012-04-18T18:43:30Z

I've moved mostly to DreamWidth, for what it's worth. Not that I post much anymore anyway. If you're interested in tracking me, plurk is much better.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Goal is to update once a week.

BOTCONBOTCONBOTCONBOTCOOON. What am I bringing who there? I've already located P/CP, and I've got two things for a dude off LJ, but as we all know my memory is Shit so if you want to remind me say it now so I have time to find things.

SPEAKING OF MEMORY. Anything you need to poke me about? NOW IS A GOOD TIME.

IDW is awesome to intern at. If you guys aren't following More Than Meets The Eye, I highly recommend you start doing so. Smoke & Mirrors as well as Locke & Key are two also awesome titles.

THE END I THINK?

INTERNSHIP GET

2012-02-02T15:42:39Z

no really okay

SO BACK IN JULY OF LAST YEAR ish was BotCon. I cosplayed Stampy. First costume I made 100% myself and was pretty decently proud of for all of its shoddy construction (especially in comparison to others') but I wore it it was awesome and I cornered Chris Ryall in it after a panel to schmooze with him.

No, really.

I use 'schmooze' loosely here; I didn't exactly do the following:

Verb:
Talk intimately and cozily; gossip.
Noun:
A long and intimate conversation.

But I did manage to learn he's from the same city I am and that there was, in fact, an internship program at IDW. Which I promptly leaped upon because for all that I'm going to school for accounting? It's the day job. I want to be a writer. I need to finish my stuff I'm writing, but an editorial internship would be a huge asset to me, one way or another. So I got his email and emailed him and then when that didn't respond went "OH GOD I BET HE THINKS I SUCK" but got up the courage and emailed again, assuming that he never got my first.

He didn't. I got a response. cB

Cue about six months of going back and forth, talking with their internship director, learning I had to be in school, deciding that trying to cut back my hours at retail during the holiday isn't...really...feasible, and deciding to go for it in spring. I sent in my resume + writing samples around October, per the internship director lady's request, and then...

Nothing.

Sent 'em again.

Nothing.

Pestered Chris about it, traded a few chatty emails, sent 'em again.

Nothing.

PESTERED HIM ONE MORE TIME because at this point I was like "either my email to the internship lady's blocked, i'm being ignored ~~because they hate me~~, or something else is up"

TURNS OUT SHE GAVE HER TWO WEEK NOTICE oh that explains a few things.

Cue mid-Jan! Emailed Ryall as per his request and OH LOOK A NEW INTERNSHIP DIRECTOR...one who...is actually being very awesome and emailing me back and HELL YES WE ARE WORKING THIS OUT and I went down there yesterday (technically down to San Diego on Weds night, because dear god two hour train ride) for my orientation.

Guys you guys I am interning directly under Chris Ryall the Editor in Chief of IDW

I'm kind of. "SASFGASfASFJKGEEEEE"

And I got to highfive the President and I got to see Mowry and I got the whole Stampy costume coming back to haunt me ("I actually met him at BotCon in...costume..." "He mentioned that..." "...oh god I'm never going to be allowed to forget |D;;") AND I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED.

ALL OF THE EXCITE, ALL OF IT.

I'll share what I can, but the rule of thumb is 'if it's not officially announced, it's under NDA, but feel free to ask'. Suffice it to say when I do get Editorial Intern credit in a book I'll be publishing under a pen name, I'll be working with AWESOME people, I'll be learning ALL THE THINGS, and overall I am totally excited and Andy Schmidt was apparently a really good intern leader trainer guy?

YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVER DAY ~~still stoked i'm under ryall though hurr hurr~~

BOTCON '12 - THE SHENANIGANS SUTE

2011-12-06T01:11:17Z

hokay

so

like

HERE'S DA ROOM

Separate sitting area
Hairdryer
Room service during regular hours
Flat screen TV
Video on demand
Dual line phones
Voicemail
Dataport
Individual heat control
Concierge during regular hours
Safety deposit boxes
Crib upon request
No rollaways in doubles

Large bay window
Iron/ironing board
Coffee maker
Cable/satellite TV channels
AM/FM clock radio
Speakerphone
Wireless High-speed Internet access (fee)
Analog phone line
Individual air conditioning control
Video Checkout
Rollaways upon request
Maximum guests per room: 5 double/3
Aquafresh® Extreme Clean® Toothpaste Amenities

And as of original typing, we have ~13. people interested. SO. BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER.

I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THERE BEING TOO MANY BODIES this is fine really. It looks like we have three doors to get in. The thought is to use either the King room or the Double Bed room as the 'quiet' room, period, and keep it to only minimal people. The cramming will happen in the main room, or the opposite room.

As it stands, I'm going to be enforcing a rule that nobody is allowed to get IN that room - if we designate it as the quiet room - without direct permission from all those involved, or they need to be escorted by one to just stay a little bit so they can relax or whatever. That way it remains a safe haven, because some people are uncomfortable without that sort of thing to head to, and I'd prefer not to have anyone more uncomfortable than the thought of sleeping in the same vicinity as me makes them. B)

WE WILL BE HAVING A QUIET ROOM. As it stands, this is currently the King size room on the far right, hosting Cally, (possibly?) Musha and one other. That is reserved for them and them alone as per request.

AND NOW, THE LIST OF PEOPLE. Please note this is, in fact, Co-Ed.

CONFIRM	MAYBE
Artoni (Room Holder) MiraiBaby Velocity Grreyley CallyKariShokka NatsumeRyu Musha168 Goa EmeraldBeacon (M) InsaneGalvatron (M) Stupei	Nii +1

If everyone came, that would be 14 people. Considering we're looking at a minimum of 1731.16 after taxes (I say minimum because supposedly that double bed room is an additional fee), that works out to ~133.17 per person. Because of that, I am calling no more reservations at this time. Not unless someone backs out for sure, because I'm personally uncomfortable with promising any more space unless I know that everyone is okay with it and that's too many people for me to keep track of being okay or not okay.

Okay, so actually, it's 2006.88 for the full set. /14 people, that's about ~144. /11 as we have currently confirmed, that's ~183.

I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING FOR NOW????

artoni @ 2011-11-03T23:20:00

2011-11-04T06:20:19Z

Oh gosh.

I found my essay notebook and typed up my essay and proofed it and updated my resume and

kind of just emailed everything off to IDW because i was panicking about being a month later than i wanted to be

I AM SO NERVOUS YOU GUYS SOB

also yeah i don't hang...out on this journal...much anymore. I'm mostly on plurk, nowadays.

ANYWAY, FOR MY OWN THOUGHTS, THINGS TO DO;

--Mail P/CP
--Mail That One Other Toy For That One Dude
--Mail Tablet Thingy For That One Chick

Is this what losing hope feels like?

2011-10-26T16:10:49Z

Not in myself, but in the world I live in.

There's so much going on I don't even know where to start. It seems that everyone I talk to knows at least something about Occupy Wall Street, and yesterday at work when I was - on a whim - looking up the 'local' chapter (which seems to be Occupy Los Angeles) a coworker ashed what I was doing. When I mentioned it, he was completely blank, and I had to explain the whole Occupy thing going on right now.

He's a peer, mind. Agewise. I don't...talk with many, IRL, other than my D&D group, simply because I'm so attached to my online groups that I find them a welcome escape from the memories of Middle and High and whateverschool. I always have, and I probably always will, because of those years of social awkwardness.

Anyway, I digress. I was...surprised that I had to explain it. It's like, "shouldn't everybody know of this? how do you not?" But its' a different worldview for different people. I don't know what he does outside of work. I don't know if he watches the news, if he goes online, if he just goes and plays sports or drinks or whatever, while the 'group' I am in wonders about whether or not we're starting a revolution, whether or not we're going to hell in a handbasket, and whether or not they can afford to buy food this month.

I'm lucky. I know this. I'm still in the 99% by definition, but aside from my time away from home, I've never really known true 'want'. I've never had to worry about whether or not I'll have a roof over my head, or be able to eat, or whether or not someone will catch me when I fall. Part of the reason I moved away was because I was rebelling against that and didn't want someone to catch me when I did fall, and in the end, I moved back so that someone could. Whether or not that's spoiled or just taking advantage of the options I have available to me, don't know. I've been told it's stupid to make yourself suffer when you don't have to, and that soothes the lingering shame/ego/etc, even though I'm 100% convinced that I'm better for the experience overall, and that Andrew could stand to go through the same thing.

Digressing again. But this isn't exactly the formal essay I need to rewrite for IDW, so I'm allowed to. As well as the other projects I have on backburner, but I can at least tie that line in to my next thought.

I'm very apathetic about most things. I lose interest quickly, and it's hard to keep me focused on anything for long. I just stop caring. The traces of caring may be there, but the majority of the emotional attachment is gone. Don't get me wrong - I'll find enjoyment, I'll be interested, but it won't be the same as it once was, and the more I step away from it the more the happy emotions will be replaced with anxiety and stress often to the point where I just say 'screw it' and walk away. Because it doesn't matter, right? It probably never did.

I'm apathetic about the world.

One of my favorite people ever was/is/etc George Carlin. Because he gave the appearance of having lost faith in the world, and gave off the appearance of being okay with this. I say 'appearance' because I never knew the man, only what he portrayed of himself as a person and comedian, and who knows if that was just for effect or what he really thought? Still, I think one of the reasons he got so popular was because he struck a chord, and because he said it so bluntly and outrageously that you had no choice but to listen. You could take it about as a joke, very much, easily.

Doesn't make it any less true.

I'm apathetic and scared about what we're going through right now. What my friends are, and what the strangers are. I'm terrified of the idea of a revolution and I'm okay with admitting this. On one level change is scary and I want things just to go back to the idealized view of the world I had in my childhood, and on the other I know it'll never be the same. The recent protests are proof enough of that. And outside of America - what number revolution is going on, in the Middle East? Let's step AWAY from people and say, for all of our advancements in science and tracking and monitoring, Really Bad Shit is happening from mother nature with what seems like a lot more frequency.

Something's going to give. Whether by man or by nature, I know beyond any shade of a doubt that something is going to happen in my lifetime, or the next generation's, that is going to shape the world as much as WWI and WWII did. Is it going to be WWIII? I don't know. Is it going to be one more centralized? No clue. Is it going to be something like out of a Hollywood disaster movie? Hell, I can't shrug that possibility out either.

I'm apathetic, and I'm an optimist. I believe that in the end, everything is going to be okay. Somehow a level will be reached, if only for a little while, where things will be stable and secure. Is it going to be stable and secure in the good way, or in the way of so many dystopian things I've been following lately to get inspiration for the Saga campaign Dave wants me to run? Let's hope not.

I've lost hope that the world is going to be the same. But then, it was probably a stupid hope to begin with. It's a child's hope, and I've moved on to that 'everything will be okay' mentality, but is it just as stupid as the first?

Even if we do embroil ourselves in chaos. Even if the world does it for us. There will be a point where things are steady, whether or not I'm here to see it. Maybe it's not so much a hope as an acceptance, the understanding that point 'A' has a path to point 'B'.

But it's the path that scares the shit out of me.

Had a cold for the entirety of the week, prayed to the porcelain god last night, though that might have had to do with a pill I took for a headache. Feeling better, though. Ish.

artoni @ 2011-09-30T23:33:00

2011-10-01T06:33:18Z

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

Just finished watching Firefly/Serenity. I was doing 4 eps a day, and then did the last 7 + Serenity tonight and okay my eyes kind of hurt like hell. ow.

Good series, but I can see why it wasn't renewed? It's very niche. And I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I can see why the producers were all LOL NO.

I did like Inara, though. And Jayne, bastard that he is. No new muses popped up in the end, though, so c'est la vie.

Star Wars campaign starts tomorrow. Hopefully I won't flop Omni.

STATE OF THE MINDY

2011-09-29T06:47:03Z

Behind in everything. AS USUAL. Except for school, which I'm doing decent at - 80% in quizzes so far, what a record streak (THIS IS MY 8| FACE), but I figure I'll pass the course. Which will be good, seeing as it's literally my last chance to do so.

Still need to prod my Transdaters writers. THE WORST MANAGER.

Still need to finish CnC Cyber Key Plot (backdatedly). THE WORST PLOT RUNNER.

Still need to write my samples for IDW. THE WORST NOT-YET-AN-INTERN-BUT-STILL-HOPEFUL-TO-THE-POINT-OF-BEING-GIGGLY-WITH-IMAGINING-WHAT-COULD-HAPPEN-OOOH-MISTER-OPTIMUS-CUTOUT-OOOH

idefk, man. Idedfk. Plurk is just sapping my soul, lol.

artoni @ 2011-09-13T22:17:00

2011-09-14T05:17:12Z

fragging rassafranning frustration wanna beat my head against the wall until these stupid words come out

>C

>C >C >C >C >C

artoni @ 2011-09-07T21:02:00

2011-09-08T04:02:51Z

2/3 ain't bad, right? Right?...I mean, I got Studying done. I got Vector done.

I didn't get Transdaters done like I wanted to. :( Worst project manager ever. And I REALLY don't want this to be another situation where I get angry at myself for letting it die and then it dies before I give up.

artoni @ 2011-08-31T15:22:00

2011-08-31T22:22:53Z

GUESS WHO'S SCRAPING HER ASS LAST-MINUTE IN TO A COLLEGE COURSE

yeah you know it.

I cleared up some things at admissions today and will be going to an orientation tonight for an online Acct class. This one...I need to pass since I didn't in my two attempts a few years ago and there's only three tries you're allowed. So oh god. I'm a little nervous but I KNOW I can do it and I'm going to be like ROW ROW FIGHT THE FUCKING POWER.

/fistshake

Also, turns out there is a class offered that could tie in to internship...but it's in Spring. THIS IS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING I am only looking at one class for this semester since oh god retail holiday season and spring sort of tapers off so...

aaah

AAAAH

GUYS I AM NERVOUS

artoni @ 2011-08-29T18:37:00

2011-08-30T01:37:31Z

WORKIN ON MY BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK LIKE A BOSS

but other than that things are going decently. I'm finally back on track at Axiom (ISH), so hopefully keeping a tighter leash on myself will keep me from falling behind again.

The main thing that's suffered lately is Transdaters. I will be getting to that next week possibly. LOL SOME MANAGER I AM.

Also, I STILL forget who wanted P/CP off me. PLZ TO BE CONTACTING ASAP?

ALSO ALSO THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART OF THIS ENTRY. I hope all my east coasters are doing all right, I hope everybody whose birthday I've missed had/is having an awesome one, I hope everybody who's having trouble gets through it, but right now I need to share a video I just saw on my flist.

I believe the shirt ripping is the most essential part of the procedure.

I DON'T EVEN...

2011-08-27T02:26:17Z

Mom just handed me a poem I wrote when I was 10, joking around that I should send it to Furman re; critique. I just skimmed it over and I

i don't even

My robot would be smart
My robot would look cool
My robot would definitely not be cruel

It would use all the latest technology,
It would know a lot of mythology,
And it would teach biology, too

It would help jurors, consumers, and jewelers, too.
It would also help manufacturers make glue.

It would perform before spectators
for it would be a transformer
but now all I can do is dream about it
as I watch movies on my projector.

WTF rhyming aside

/STARES AT THE BOLD

WHAT.

Birthday musings

2011-08-24T05:11:26Z

When you're younger, birthdays are amazing and magical things. You go "I'M SIX AND HALF" and god forbid anyone forget that half. Or three quarters. Or...whatever. And parties are incredible and wonderful and DUDE, BIRTHDAY.

This year, it took someone asking me for a birthday list for me to realize 'oh, hey, it's on the 4th'.

I'm really not sure what to think about that.

artoni @ 2011-08-22T22:05:00

2011-08-23T05:05:51Z

MOTIVATION WHERE ARE YOU

No, really.

really i need you back :C

MAILING UPDATES

2011-08-17T22:07:38Z

--Prowl sketch = Packaged, need mailing address
--Punch/Counterpunch = Packaged, need mailing address
--TF;P Optimus = DUDE IS NOT ON LJ WHY I NOTE THIS
--Bee Kreon + Bikes = Prepping, need price confirm

ALL OF THIS I AM HOPING TO HAVE OUT BY TOMORROW. I am getting shit done and hopefully I am not forgetting anything. No names are noted for privacy but please if I owe you anything and you're not on here TELL ME TELL ME FREAKING TELL ME.

Also work is running me fun times. :/ I just finished 6 days in a row, started my cycle (THANK GOD I HAD MIDOL IN THE CAR FFFT), and Friday will be the first of 7 days in a row augh.

nothing is getting done that i want to get done. :(

Dear self; please stop charsitting on Axiom. If you are actually going to play, stop making excuses for yourself and FUCKING PLAY. Thanks, your sanity.

CnC is getting me excited oh my fucking god Cyber Key plot was approved and I put up the plotting post and PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED. VILLAINS ARE INTERESTED. Hopefully this will not flop.

Singularity - still need to finish Tron 2.0 to figure out if I can play Jet. Gonna drop DK. Nemvoy is...doin' his grumpy thang and I am more excited than I should be about kicking off that Abraxas fight I am an absolutely terrible RPer ~~and I keep worrying if I'm harping shit wrong because he pretty much IS a guilty pleasure stereotype character but aaah~~ in that I am setting him up to have a minor mental breakdown. B)

Amat...uh...I need to...do something. I think I'm going to hide out for a bit more though and just wait for the current plot to finish before I actually really try and dive in.

artoni @ 2011-08-10T18:26:00

2011-08-11T01:26:20Z

>>return home

>>mom immediately starts on about room condition, money, et all

>>IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK 9_9

Working 6 days in a row starting tomorrow. At least that'll help remedy the money situation. Not planning on any cosplay next year, too, so that should keep some stress off, too.

artoni @ 2011-08-09T07:18:00

2011-08-09T14:18:44Z

HI GUYS I'M HOME.

I work in approximately 40 minutes so I shall do my netrounds and get dressed and continue to sulk at Dad for drinking my last frap ("YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR PRESENT ANYMORE >8(" "8(") and when I get home I shall either nap or start catching up on THINGS.

Also omigaaaawd yaaaaaay I had a plot approved at Cape and Cowl! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! WE GON GET SOME CYBER KEYS IN HEAH in late September. Considering Exiles comes out then, I am going to be so crazy that month I don't even.

Also also my back is better. :D Not perfect, but better!

ALSO ALSO ALSO is there anything pressing that needs my attention that I should give priority to? Even if it's a "TAG ME, HO"

artoni @ 2011-07-21T18:47:00

2011-07-22T01:47:32Z

AN ORIGINAL IS GONNA BE IN PRIME

AN ORIGINAL IS GONNA BE IN TRANSFORMERS PRIME

I SQUEED SO FUCKING HARD I DISINTEGRATED MY BADGE BUT I DON'T CARE AAAAAAAAAAH i hope it's liege maximo since it doesn't really look like fallen tbh it looked like trion or movie sentinel but

"I AWAKEN."

oshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

artoni @ 2011-07-19T22:08:00

2011-07-20T05:08:00Z

COMIC COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

so excite you guys so excite aaah aaah AAAAH

just had happy fun times outside with some of amber's friends and wishing i had a group like that back up where i am/was/live/ect

AND ALSO WISHING I KNEW IF I ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE RIGHT KIND OF GIRL ITEMS because fuck if not i have to go out again and get some

anyway

hi

awesome times start tomorrow

THIS POST IS POINTLESS

artoni @ 2011-07-16T22:47:00

2011-07-17T05:47:41Z

You know what, I'm just gonna put Transdaters on a biweekly update.

ALSO WHERE DID I PUT THINGS TO MAIL AND I NEED TO START PACKING FOR TFCON OR AT LEAST ORGANIZING MY SHIT AND OH MY GOD WHO AM I BRINGING WHAT TOYS.....

...panic mode engaged? This early? Why yes.

KRE-Os

2011-07-15T22:42:30Z

...will be packaged and mailed over the weekend, those of you who have given me your info. I've ordered another BigPrime, but a couple Kreons are already claimed. Though I'll have another Optimus Prime Kreon up for sale, and if anyone wants the bitchin' bikes that come with the set, I'll let those go for 7 as well. Humans I will sell for 2 because lol who wants them but IF YOU DID...

AND THEN I WILL GET READY FOR COMIC CON WOOO but now I have to get ready for work! Hopefully I will not be as pain filled as yesterday.

TEE-EMM-FUCKING-AI

2011-07-15T15:33:42Z

SO GUESS WHO WAS UP FOR AN HOUR AROUND 1 AM TO GO IN AND OUT OF THE BATHROOM?

This gal. Right here.

IDK if I ate something or this is related to my cycle but oh dear god that hurt/sucked/ect and I really hope A) IT'S OVER B) said cycle occurs before Comic Con.

I'm going back to sleep X_X

artoni @ 2011-07-10T20:32:00

2011-07-11T03:32:49Z

Got some Kre-Os today, selling Kre-Ons.

As of posting, I have;

~~2x 1x Sideswipe~~
~~1x Prowl~~
2x 1x Red Alert
2x 1x Bumblebee
and then some hyuumans.

$8 each, + shipping, + $1 for shipping materials. May lower the last because if I remember correctly there's a pack of multiple bubble mailers so I will see how much it is at work tomorrow and if it is less costly! Yes I will mail international.

LJ has first dibs, first come first served, if they're not all claimed by the time I wake up I will go throw on Twitter/Plurk/other places!

artoni @ 2011-07-10T00:21:00

2011-07-10T07:21:53Z

Hot pizza right out of the oven is delicious, but burning your mouth so badly it is painful to eat for the next couple of days is not, FYI.

Ow. OW. ow. OW.

artoni @ 2011-07-04T07:26:00

2011-07-04T14:26:13Z

urgggh forgot to do transdaters post this week

which is okay because i don't think much happened I'LL COMBINE THIS AND NEXT.

And now for another five-day-straight run at work. :| Hopefully I'll be less out of it than last week made me.