Where in our body does the truth live when the world around us seems to be falling apart? When withholding food and care from children becomes acceptable in the name of war. When neighbors are snatched from their homes because of a piece of paper and an imaginary line drawn on the earth.

Where do we find peace in our nervous system when fascists are in charge and militarized bullies are cloaked in facades of protection?

Can you hear it calling? Right there, in the discomfort in your belly, the ache in your heart, the grief tight in your chest. The way we clench our jaw or hunch from the weight of it all. Have you given it space to breathe?

Listen. It knows.

It knows the truth of our connection—our inseparable dependence on this planet and on each other. It knows the rhythm of the seasons and the way skin to earth grounds, and sun on face soothes.

It knows what humanity is capable of when insecure and power hungry and also what is possible when we move from love.

So we march.
So we organize.
So we sit quietly amongst the flowers.
We tend to those in need.
We make art.
We find joy.
We grieve.

I know the depth of it all is too much. I know that overwhelm, paralysis, or rage are all valid and reasonable responses.

But when I get real small and look to a ladybug crawling on the milkweed, or when I get real big and see all of us as tiny blips wandering on this beautiful blue and green planet in a galaxy full of billions of stars, I find something more honest than the mayhem of these human animals running amok.

I see order and chaos as all part of a beautiful system we belong to.

So exhale. Listen. Care. Resist and then rest.

I’m so glad you’re here,
xo.a

do not claim me

do not claim me
in your hatred
because of the color of my skin

your fear and filth
is not mine
just because
we share the same melanin deficiency

can’t you see the depth and wisdom
in the “others” you so despise
the tenacity and courage they show day after day
despite the defiling oppression
and degradation
endured

of course you see their brilliance
that’s what frightens you most
it threatens the thin veil of power
you cling to

because unlike ours
their power was not handed down
covering up generation after generation
of weak men’s insecurities
frail and flimsy

but rather rooted in the earth
grown and nourished
through an ancestry of
endurance
strength
patient resistance

do not claim me
in your feeble fight
just because I too have benefited from our whiteness

I lay my privilege
at their feet
bow in reverence of the grace and glory
as we march arm in arm
to face you

you’ll find me
in that sea of resplendence
a mirror reflection reminding you
this is a fight
you will not win

*This poem was first written in response to rising white nationalism in 2017. It feels just as urgent now.