I’ve always had hangups about the titles I could claim as a writer. When I worked in the television industry, despite being hired to write freelance episodes of multiple shows, and being a member of the WGA1 because of the episodes I co-wrote, I never felt like I could call myself a TV writer because I’d never been staffed2 on a show. Same goes for claiming screenwriter because despite the many scripts I’d written, I’d never sold anything. I always just referred to myself a writer, non-specific. When other friends at my same level referred to themselves as TV writers or screenwriters, I was always like, “Yes, babe, claim it!!!” (genuinely). But I couldn’t do it myself.

It reminds me of a conversation I had recently with some author friends about the anxiety around asking for blurbs from other more established authors. Any time someone else is trying to figure out how to make an ask/follow up/do honestly anything related to publishing, I’m like, “No, babe, you’re not being annoying at all!! You’re perfect and you’re going to be so OK!!” (again, genuinely).3 It is the easiest thing in the world for me to champion my friends, but myself?? You simply must be kidding me, I could never!!!

This all must be top of mind for me and/or a general personality flaw because I spent a good chunk of therapy this week talking about this same issue in regards to motherhood. I can give all the grace in the world to other parents, but anything I do? A complete disaster that’s ruining my child forever!!!

In any case, I’m still getting used to calling myself an author. The first time I actually said the title out loud to describe myself was a few weeks after my book deal, when I got into a car accident. (Thanks a lot, Kyle!!!4) During the insurance interview, which is a very intense matter, the claims specialist asked for my occupation. I’d spent the last two years out of work after the WGA and SAG strikes, and was a stay at home mom by default. But now I did have a shiny new job title—author. When I said it, the claims specialist dropped his very serious demeanor and said, “Wait, really? I’ve never encountered that before! That’s so cool!” I had a momentary panic that it would be like that one time I was in a ride-share and the driver was talking about a show he really liked and I made the mistake of admitting that I actually worked on said show, and then he wouldn’t unlock the backseat when we got to my destination because he wanted to keep talking about it.

Apologies, I got off track, but I hadn’t thought about that moment in a decade and that really was something. Strangers are so wild sometimes! Love to recall a time where I felt deeply unsafe!!!

Anyway, the claims specialist noted that I was an author and then we moved on, but looking back, it was a big moment for me. My husband proudly introduces me to every new person we meet as a romance author, but it’s still something I struggle with. And it’s not because I’m keeping my identity a secret (spoiler alert: I am using my real name, because who would willingly elect to use an unpronounceable pen name??).

But here’s the thing. Don’t be like me. Don’t be afraid to claim titles!! This is my imposter syndrome talking!! I would literally never blink an eye at someone who writes books but isn’t published calling themselves an author. You are!! You’re doing the damn thing!! Not to be all woo woo but sometimes we have to speak things into existence. For example, the day before my now-editors first reached out to set our call, I asked a friend how to manifest a book deal. And yes, obviously things were already in motion on my publisher’s end but still!! Let me be woo woo about this one thing!! I’ve lived in Los Angeles for over a decade—it’s my right!! And it’s your right to claim whatever title you want without letting imposter syndrome creep in and steal away your ability to do so. I wish I could have listened to this advice long ago and not gotten so hung up on it, adding qualifiers and diminishing my own worth and value in the process. But I’m working on it. So yes, babe, claim it!!! (genuine and extremely affectionate)

What I’m reading (and watching)

HEATED RIVALRY. That’s it. That’s the post. It’s all I want to talk about, and the fact that all my algorithm is showing me nonstop HR edits and press tour interviews means I’ve finally trained it correctly.

Bless my husband who, after hearing me talk nonstop about it, agreed to watch—so he’s now caught up (after episode 2 ended, he immediately put episode 3 on, and then giggled through Skip’s meet cute and said, “I like these sweetie boys; Hollander and Rozanov are so intense!”).

And yes, Connor Storrie (in interviews, not in his stunning performance as Ilya Rozanov) may or may not be giving serious [redacted] vibes for a future book. And it miiiiight hypothetically be a character you meet in NOW THAT WE DON’T TALK, who idk, maybe, if this is true, has been quite popular with readers so far. All I can concretely say is that I shall have a very good mood board now to pitch this project when the time comes.

More soon!

xo R