Bruhniversal Studios

test

apestyle — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 18:27:06 GMT

Photo insert test.

apestyle — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 23:24:06 GMT

I identify with this statue.

The only problem with returning to LJ...

apestyle — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 21:12:23 GMT

Is that I don't think anyone is here to interact with.

apestyle — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 05:21:33 GMT

Breathe

apestyle — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 04:24:54 GMT

About 3 weeks ago I noticed that my lower back was having some pain at night while I lay flat on my back for bed. Turning on my side didn't help much either.

So I started imagining that I had done something awful to my back. For some reason this sort of injury worries me more than most. Was it a degenerative disc?

I strongly considered seeing a chiropractor or making an appointment with a doctor, but before I did any of that I started a new membership with my local YMCA and started working out again after quite a hiatus.

I had gained about 8lbs from my typical weight and it was time to do something about that.

So a couple of days on the stationary bike and some lifting go by and guess what? Back pain reduced to like 10% of what it was. Almost completely gone.

I suspect that I let my core muscles go, and that's what did it. Long story short? The gym is my best medicine.

I commissioned an artist

apestyle — Wed, 15 Jun 2016 16:49:00 GMT

It's almost done. This is for the allcomicsconsidered.com site and podcast. I couldn't be more pleased.

About a Month Ago

apestyle — Thu, 12 May 2016 22:51:45 GMT

March 21st

I land in Incheon - they can’t find my bag, and I fill out forms for it’s recovery. I get some help from a fella behind a counter and am directed to a hotel not far away. I take a taxi. The bed is as hard as a stone slab, but the bathroom is dope as hell. In order to turn on lights, you have to put your hotel key in a slot. Figured that out after 20 minutes of sitting in the dark.

I’m doing all of this international travel on my own, and in retrospect I’m enjoying the autonomy. The ability to make my own way and my own mistakes and successes is valuable to me.

March 22nd

I am able to meet up with my younger cousin and we go to the hospital where my mom is. I meet up with my uncle and my two aunts and my mother’s long term boyfriend Mr. Choi. Mom is there in the hospital bed, she’s hooked up to a respirator. Her skin is as brown as coffee, and her eyes are jellied. She’s not conscious. Along with Mr. Choi, I let out a loud cry of pain and we cry together.

I tell my mother that it is okay, that she can go. I will take care of everything. I tell her to go with a god that I don’t really believe in, but knows that she does. Tears escape her ruined eyes.

I really want to leave, but I stay as long as I am supposed to.

March 22nd

Eventually it’s time to leave and get some food. My aunts take me to a restaurant that serves spicy pig’s feet. I saw a YouTube video where some Brits tried it and were crying from the heat. It amused me so I wanted to see if it was as bad as they made it out to be.

It is amazingly delicious. The heat just starts getting to me at the end, but it’s nothing that mouthfuls of rice can’t alleviate. The food and heat are a valuable distraction. I can’t cry all the time.

March 22nd

After our meal and resting for a bit, we go back to the hospital and wait. My mom dies. We are all in tears. A lot of other procedural stuff happens. I must pick out a shrine for my mother. I find out that I’m supposed to stay in a chamber for mourning for 3 days.

I endure it. The bathroom attached to the small sleeping area is not well drained and ventilated. I get headaches. Meals come, people come and I greet them the best I can. I bow a lot.

All my uncles who can, have arrived and we speak, my baby-level Korean and their heavily accented English collide but we make it work through a combination of technology and translation from my younger cousins who are English fluent.

March 23rd

We don’t stay the entire 3rd day, there’s no point - everyone that my mother knew has come to pay their respects. Instead I carry my mother’s casket with others to a bus and we go to a crematorium. We eat and wait our turn. Eventually we are ushered into a place where there are CCDs, little TVs and my mom’s picture underneath it. We are supposed to watch the flames burn the casket to ashes. And when the time comes, we do and the tears and wailing start again. It is horrifying. There are multiple families in this large room, each one’s stories ending the same: with ashes and grief.

March 23rd

Afterwards we are handed her remains. Initially I wanted her ashes to be spread in the Pacific Ocean, and the family thought that was fitting. But we were told that the government would not allow such a romantic gesture. So, instead my mother’s ashes were buried in our family funeral plot, where my grandmother’s remains are as well.

We do this thing. Then we go back to my Aunt’s house and I sleep.

March 24th

My eldest uncle could not attend the funeral, he himself was in the hospital recovering from a serious surgery. We visit with him. He’s like an eagle, sharp and wise.

He needs to rest so we don’t stay too long.

March 24th

That evening we dine as a family. A big Korean spread, traditional style. It’s nice. I only rarely have been able to have this sort of experience with my Korean family. It may be the last time that we eat like this, who can say?

Afterwards I sleep soundly, tomorrow I leave for the States. Oh, the airport found my bag - it was still at Sea-Tac.

March 25

I fly home. I am utterly tapped and emotionally exhausted.

We bought a house

apestyle — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:58:32 GMT

Keys got.

Exhausted from the move.

WinCo Foods is cheap as hell.

Grief is a Gift

apestyle — Thu, 17 Mar 2016 18:08:00 GMT

Grief is like alcohol, it will affect people physiologically in similar ways, but how it’s expressed varies from person to person and their psychological profile.

I recognize that I’m in mourning for my mother who is currently being kept alive by machines. It’s to me to fly over there and release her. And I’m working on that.

But I wanted to make note of how grief is working through me right now, because it’s an unusual feeling. It’s actually physical. I feel like I’ve had two beers – still functional, but sort of stunned, I can feel a sort of numbness on my face, as though I’m getting over being slapped.

I cried after I wrote what was, essentially, her obituary and cried briefly again with my wife. But, I have to take care of stuff and I don’t dare stop and grieve in a hardcore way. Because if I do, I won’t be able to take care of business.

I need to keep moving, and take care of the thing. And then, if I need to I can let the great big sobbing happen. But not today. Today, my body gifts me with numbness and slight disorientation.

When in Alaska...

apestyle — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:09:24 GMT

So we're in Fairbanks, Alaska ostensibly to check off "see the northern lights" from the bucket list. Mission accomplished, but for pure visuals the ice carving competition was probably more impressive.

So. We bought a house.

apestyle — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 19:33:21 GMT

We'll be moving to Tacoma.

It's just for funsies

apestyle — Wed, 27 Jan 2016 22:42:31 GMT

I forgot to tell you, I'm occassionally on a Podcast called All Comics Considered. I'm mostly doing production work, which is to say that I'm lending an ear and giving feedback on whether content is consistent and of high quality, and if some technical stuff is working correctly (or not).

But once in a while I talk about comic books with my colleagues. If you want, you can hear me wax poetic about 'em here. I even sing a very (very) little bit of Ziggy Stardust.

Also, I don't always agree with my esteemed colleagues. In fact, I seem to disagree kind of frequently I think. If you wanna read about how I disagree, you can see that in this blog post

No mooring

apestyle — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 21:35:48 GMT

On the way to lunch I was thinking about the definition of racism (wait come back, this isn't about racism!)

I always adopt the sociological stance of the definition of racism when talking to people, which states that it is something that occurs when prejudice is backed with power. And in the United States the people with the most overwhelming power are white. Ergo, whites can be racist but except for rare circumstances anyone else cannot.

And I understand that not everyone believes in this definition. They fall back to that old standby, the dictionary, that doesn't account for social power. The one that simply says that racism is prejudice based on skin color.

And then I sorta probed myself to see if I too resist new* definitions and new words too. And yeah, I do! I sorta roll my eyes at new gender descriptions, such as zee/zir/zim. My gut reaction is, "Those aren't words and if they are, their definition isn't descriptive."

*this "new" definition of racism has been in use for over 20 years in academic circles.

But then another part of me caught myself and I thought, "What does it cost me to look into this and try to understand?"

My initial answer was "Nothing but a little time."

But my more developed insight was this, "There is a cost, the cost is me expanding my definitions of the world and the people that occupy it."

And although that's the best spin, I recognize that cost can be high for someone who doesn't *want* to redefine their boundaries, who don't want their world recalculated. It doesn't feel fair to them, it doesn't feel right.

And...I need to be the opposite of that. I need my moorings sometimes, but I also need to let go and explore.

It's Saturday Night

apestyle — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 01:11:30 GMT

Time to have karaoke party at the homestead
like you do. :)

Everyone Has a Story

apestyle — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 00:38:29 GMT

When I was about nineteen my dad was spending his time dying of AIDS, and this once robust body builder of a man was shrunken down to stick-like bones and dry thin skin. He used to yell a lot, and he had a terrible temper. But he also sang like an angel and played the guitar and painted. Like all of us, he had good days and bad, great and terrible traits.

There came a time that I could no longer deny that he was going to die and I sort of went into a dark hole in my mind. I wasn't very responsive to things. I was blank. Maybe this was depression, I wasn't sad per se, I was just...on automatic pilot--only my scripts weren't running.

Anyway, after dad died I found myself with no sort of cushion. I dropped out of college and had no job and couch surfed until I burned through my few friends doing that. And...I slept in bus shelters and some people pointed my way to Lambert House, where I found a place among other of society's rejects. I made friends. One of them took me home where I could recuperate. Where I could catch my breath and try to get back some semblance of normality.

And slowly, I did. I took a job at Taco Bell, went back to community college, got a good paying job, got a girlfriend and moved out of my friend's place and got an apartment.

My life resembled something ordinary and everyday again. And I cherished it. I don't mean to write this to tell you about how brave I was, I wasn't. I was just adapting and surviving, same as any organism tries to do. What I want to convey to you is this: if my friend hadn't taken me in and given me space to get normal, I'm not sure what would have happened to me. Probably nothing good. I didn't pull myself up from my bootstraps, I didn't even have metaphorical socks, much less these much talked about bootstraps.

Anyway. I guess my point is this: everyone has a story, and we've all gotten through shit. And for whatever reason not all of us can beat back the demons that keep us blank. If you need help, I hope you get it. I hope your survival instincts kick in.

......…

You want to know the dark truth about being in survival mode? Stop reading of you don't want the warm fuzzier to go away.

Ok. Here's the dark truth: when you're in desperate survival mode you use the tools you have at your disposal to survive: You might be charming as fuck - your charisma shoots through the roof. But that's cuz you need food and shelter and if it takes a few ego stroked and half-truths to get there, well you gotta eat.

If you're desperate enough you might trade affection for a place to stay. You might steal. You glom onto groups and gin up sympathy for your plight. You can become a user, a parasite, giving nothing of substantial back to your hosts.

The longer you're in survival mode, the shittier you become and the more your resentment and anger builds up. Your "success" in manipulating people engrains horrible behavior patterns that get you a little comfort from time to time, but no long lasting safety.

You become stubborn and reject offers of genuine life changing help because your ability to really others has been dissolved by people who have used you. Not to mention the intense self-loathing that forbids precious little that's good in your life.

What happens if you're here? Fuck if I know. I got out early, but I could see that path before me as clear as a summer day.

I want to think that all people can be helped. I think that all people might be able to be helped, but quite honestly I'm not the man to do it. Not now anyway.

Never forget

apestyle — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 22:24:05 GMT

Drawn together

apestyle — Sun, 26 Jul 2015 03:41:55 GMT

This is Scout, she is at the beach house that I am vacationing at. She has discovered that I draw. "Tim will you draw me 4 hearts? Will you draw me a volcano?" I'm quite powerless to resist.

The Mid-July Social Media Report

apestyle — Wed, 15 Jul 2015 18:20:32 GMT

A Right Wing groups tried to tell the world that Planned Parenthood was selling fetal tissue for profit. They released a heavily edited video that distorted what PP reps were saying. Or it’s a massive conspiracy, you know depending on how your brain works.

Tom Breevort from Marvel said something stupid about Marvel’s “Hip Hop Cover” variants. He posed a question, “What do hip hop covers have to do with African American music?” He later recanted, admitting that it was a “cloud shouting” moment.

President Obama brokered a deal with Iran, limiting/curtailing their nuclear program in return for lifting some embargos. Before the deal was even done, predictably do-nothing warhawk right wing nutsacks were decrying it.

Amazon had it’s “Prime Day”, their summer version of “Black Friday”, they were pilloried on Twitter for their shitty array of products.

including this $400 mystery sack. What the hell.

Reddit sacked Ellen Pao, delighting neckbeards worldwide. Then they brought back their early founder who told the hate-filled fedora bearers that their reign of mediocrity and bigotry was at an end. Lol.

Not everything was bad! A new AMC series, “Into the Badlands” starring Daniel Wu is happening: This show is a post apocalyptic Kung Fu Western, from what we can tell. Asian American men are being seen more and more on TV, which is amazing and totally unexpected!
7. Also, New Horizons flew past Pluto and we discovered that our microplanet has a big ole love for us.

So I had my birthday party

apestyle — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 16:31:47 GMT

And it was epic as usual! We mixed it up this time. As per usual there were the 3...no 4 components of my birthday bash:
1. Karaoke
2. White Elephant Gift Exchange
3. Amazing Food
4. Booze

I...don't know what else one needs at a birthday party.

Here's what we did this year, differently:
1. Started at 2pm, opened up the event to parents and kids.
a). NO parents with kids showed up.

2. The Karaoke was set up on a bus. With a fog machine, lights, and speakers, and the whole shebang. On a bus. I felt like the Doof Warrior from Fury Road. Well, after I drank the correct amount.

3. The food was catered by Marination, which was bomb as hell. SPAM sliders, mac salad, Kalbi beef and sexy tofu tacos, and yummy coleslaw (shut it, coleslaw haters).

4. Keg full of red beer was around, as well as harder stuff (and sodas too).

And yet...turnout was about half of what it was last year. *shrugs* Maybe it was because people are camping, maybe because it was held in Lynnwood, but I'm not upset about it. I do wonder how I can motivate you guys to come out and play next year though. Keep it in Seattle? Maybe keep it in Seattle. Maybe theme it? What do you say, capes and cowls costume party next year? Rocky Horror Picture Show theme? Let me know. I'll work it out.

The Ghost of Mr. Yunioshi

apestyle — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 18:07:23 GMT

The other day a friend of mine asked if, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" should be banned. I wasn't really prepared to answer the question, but it lingered long enough with me. My two Won is that, no, the movie shouldn't be banned, but the lingering effects on our culture from that movie should certainly be critically examined.

: The more things change...

For those of you who haven't seen it, the movie is ostensibly about (what is possibly) the first "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" played by Audrey Hepburn, who does...stuff, and things with fey abandon. A tradition carried on by Zooey Deschanel in New Girl. The fact that this character is so persistent and lingering says volumes about the power of cinema on culture.
Unfortunately there is another stereotype that has burrowed deeply into the American psyche. Andy Rooney's portrayal of Mr. Yunioshi wasn't the first time that I saw the "Asian buffoon" (that was Geddy Watanabe's character Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles). But the Mr. Yunioshi character laid the groundwork for the stereotype that Asian Americans have had to struggle against, or begrudgingly accept.

But just like the Manic Pixie Dream girl, the Asian Male Buffoon character still thrives in today's media. In Two Broke Girls we see in in Han Lee, complete with stilted English and desexualization. So what does this all mean? We've made some progress in media: Steven Yuen in Walking Dead is a straight-up hero, and John Cho continues to get plumb roles - but in all reality we're still swimming upstream. As long as the Asian Buffoon exists, and we continue to laugh at this tired trope, Asian Americans will have to deal with this burden.
Personally? Although I won't "ban" Breakfast at Tiffany's (not that it would you know, do anything if I were to), but I won't watch it a second time. I've had my fill of racist swill.

Playing D&D with Generation X

apestyle — Sun, 14 Jun 2015 21:03:58 GMT

I’m very happy with Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, from power management to making martial classes viable, I think there’s a lot going for it. (There’s a few things I wish they had considered, but that’s another blog post). That being said, old gamer habits die hard and sometimes we older gamers run up against certain realities.

For instance, because we all live in disparate parts of the Pacific Northwest that range from 10 to 60 miles away, our gaming group is virtual. We use the fairly popular “Roll 20″ app, and with broadband and headsets it’s an adequate solution. Secondly, some of us have kids and when a kid needs something, sometimes you have to skip your turn because well, family typically comes first.

Lastly, since most of us have jobs that demand 40 or more hours of week to tend to, games can be a little…less flexible. Case in point:

GM: Off of the trail you hear some noise, sounds like people.
Me: Okay, I’m going to use my disguise myself as a cleric with my Disguise Self spell, then use a stealth check and creep up on them and see what I can see.
GM: You come upon a small clearing and see a dozen or so men who appear to match the description of the ones who stole the Codex. Since you’re getting closer, make another stealth check.
Me: Seven. Damn.
GM: You snap a stick, and are noticed. One of the men demands that whoever is out there must come out.
Me: Okay, I come out of the woods with my hands up, “Sorry just a…lost parishioner, looking for the closest town – would you be able to point me in the right direction?”
GM: Ok, give me a Performance or Deception check, but since they’re already on high alert you have disadvantage.
Me: A 17 and a 18, lucky! Total is 23.
GM: Uh…ok, um. They buy your story, and tell you how to get to the nearest town. Since you rolled so well, they don’t even try to rob you.

At this point, we had to pause. Our GM ran up on a particularly “Gen Xish” problem. Since he had so little time to prepare for the night (due to the aforementioned family and job), and since we only gamed for 3 hour stretches he simply didn’t have another encounter prepared for us.

“Uh. Well…I don’t have anything else prepared for the night.”

*awkward silence*

“Well…if you want, we can just press the rewind button on that encounter, and uh I guess we can just fight the bandits.”

We all did, and happily mopped the forest floor with them. So, are all Gen X players of the game “Murder Hobos”? Nah, sometimes the reality of everyday life just intrudes on the fantasy life.

Playing D&D with Millennials.

apestyle — Sat, 13 Jun 2015 20:13:39 GMT

"Ok, as I'll keep my longbow trained on the cultists, as soon as one spots the bard, I'll shoot!"

Those were the words I spoke as I played D&D with a few millennials recently. And yes, true to form as soon as the bard messed up his stealth roll and alerted the Cultists of the Snake to his presence they approached him with what I could only assume was menace. I rolled the dice, 17! A fine hit!

Then things went cold in the room. I mean the actual room, not the virtual room that the Dungeon Master had conjured up for us in our imaginations. Snarky observations, eyerolls, the rush of the cleric to help the wounded cultist...those were the things that happened next.

I'm 42, and this is what it was like playing Dungeons and Dragons, 5th Edition, with Millennials. In this day and age, playing the most modern of D&D feels like a throwback to the old THAC0 days. The rules are better, but it's all "theater of the mind", and the monsters (and cultists) feel the same. So it was with some stumbling that I realized that even though the game is the same, the players...aren't.

My mistake was this: I didn't interview the cultists, I didn't establish probable cause, I didn't you know: do the police work. And...well, that's because I've been playing in a particular way for a long time. There are bad guys and there are good guys (us), and we do the things we need to do to get to the goal. And nuance? Well that's funny quips and clever ploys. But not in 2015, in this day and age the Social Justice doesn't stop at the d20.

I just didn't expect it to bleed over into the swords and sorcery world.

Best Friend

apestyle — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 17:35:17 GMT

Yesterday was "Best Friends Day", and honestly aside from my wife I couldn't really think of who my "best friend" was, it what that even really means.

If I had to break it down a best friend would possess these characteristics:
1. Someone I trust completely.

2. Someone who follows through on plans and help.

3. Someone who is willing to call me on my shit when I'm not being great.

4. Someone who won't try to shame me in public. (I don't care for that kind of humor).

5. Someone who gets my sense of humor.

I dunno, that seems like a pretty doable list, and I have some friends that meet some-but-not all of these characteristics. So, what does that say about me? Maybe I haven't done enough to cultivate friendships like this.

Maybe I have a friend like this and don't even know it yet!

USAsian! USAsian!

apestyle — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 05:08:44 GMT

A friend of mine said a word an I misinterpreted it as "USAsian", and immediately thought of an Asian American super patriot.

I sketched it out in 10 minutes and an hour later *another* professional artist friend rendered him in her style!

Fantastic! Maybe I should take this as a sign that I need to write up a comic!

I made a thing

apestyle — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 19:19:05 GMT

Tropes: Horror Show Edition is now live. The game I've been working on with my crew for 2 years is finally at Kickstarter where I hope we make a big splash.

Okay, so what is it?
"Tropes - Horror Show Edition is a cooperative story telling game. 2-6 players use story cards to create a hilarious horror story. When a player sets down a finale card, one of 12 characters meets their untimely demise. The player then claims that character card as a point, the player with the most character cards wins!"

"Tropes is for ages 13+ and can be played in about an hour. The great thing is that story cards can be played an infinite amount of ways, leading to stories that are always different."