My little slice of limbo

SPNPairingBingo

antrazi — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 07:48:15 GMT

I just leave that here to remind me...

Rowena/Charlie B.	Sam/Gabriel
Dean/Benny	Crowley/Meg

January 24th 2019

antrazi — Thu, 24 Jan 2019 01:19:00 GMT

January 24th 2019

Part 8 of the Birthday fics series. Dean turns 40

FFN | AO3

Dinner and Entertainment

antrazi — Sun, 08 May 2016 03:59:50 GMT

Dinner and Entertainment
SPN/Buffy. Death walks into a bar and meets... Oz!
Written for intoabar

Oz was cold and tired and was really looking forward to a little break before he managed to get going. So the smell of warm filling food, savory and spicy was everything Oz needed at this moment. Seeing the tavern Oz calculated quickly how much longer he needed. Who cared, Pokhara wasn't running away and he could spare a few hours.

His werewolf nose registered a variety of non-humans in the tavern. Having been told that there was a demon establishment with a non-violence clause in the area made him smile. Not only would he have the option of getting a bite to eat, he now knew was going in the right direction.

Going through the door Oz was welcomed by the delicious smells he had already noticed, heat, the noises of a few different creatures eating, drinking and socializing. A nice break from the solitude this trip through Nepal gave him.

He chose the only table with only one occupant, a bit in the back. He put his little bag next to him and nodded a silent greeting to his table mate, careful to keep the right balance between being polite but also not showing too much interest. Even an establishment that demanded non-violence had a certain etiquette to keep a balance.

Oz couldn't sort the guy anywhere. He didn't smell like a specific species he knew, he didn't smell like anything substancial. On the other hand he felt like power and age and somebody that demanded respect. Even if he was sitting there eating his dumplings. Being from Sunnydale Oz knew that the outside image didn't matter in the supernatural world. His whole body told him that this older white gentleman was dangerous and he kept his careful distance. Actually, everybody in the tavern did that.

"They have the best momos in the whole country."

Oz looked up. He hadn't expected the man to address him. “Yes?”

The gaunt man nodded. “That's why I'm here.”

They continued in silence. Oz went to the bar to order some food, including momos. In a human establishment he would have needed to be careful keeping his bag alone, in this case all the clientele could clearly smell that it only contained old clothes, not clean but still in the acceptable range for wearing.

He took his food, nodded a thanks and went back to his part of the table. His first taste and he looked up in the eyes of the older man. “You're right.” His dumplings were perfect, the right combination of flavor, moistness and crunchy texture. He could understand coming here just for these.

There was a disturbance at another table and the werewolf saw some kind of demon tasked with security stop the two fighting beings. Dinner and entertainment, everything he had needed in a break.

The other man on his table ignored the disturbance, his perfectly measured movements at odds with the loud screaching discussion the two enemies settled on. It seemed to be a domestic issue between nest mates and got very ugly very soon. The man finished his food and looked to the reason for the distraction, both demons died instantly, screams just stopping right in the middle.

Nobody moved. Whatever he was, nobody was willing to intervene. And then he was just gone.

With the man having left through teleportation the whole atmosphere didn't feel as heavy anymore and the other beings around Oz started talking again, the familiar white noise of background chatter helped the uneasy Were to settle a bit.

Whatever this man had been, Oz hoped to never see him again.

January 24th 2005

antrazi — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 21:48:58 GMT

January 24th 2005
Pre-Series. The 26th Birthday
Note: Part of the Birthday Fic Series for Dean Winchesters birthday

Nothing ever changes. At least not for the better.

Dean watched the clock as the last few seconds of January 24th ran out. Another birthday over and done with.

It wasn't as if things like birthdays were ever important in the Winchester family, a call would still have been nice, from anybody.

As much as he hadn't expected it, he had hoped to get a call from Sam. Normally Pastor Jim would have called but he was outside the country for the church. And Dad had most likely forgotten. He would probably remember in a few weeks or months.

No messages.

A sigh. Dean put the cell away and grabbed his drink and toasted to himself. Perhaps this year would be better.

Hellatus is Over!

antrazi — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 07:48:30 GMT

I was here from time to time, but not really. You know how it is.
A lot has happened in the last few months. But also not really. First, I always thought having a torn muscle was something exclusive to athlets. It's not. And it's really really painfull. Of course I couldn't cure my leg as much as I should have: I live alone and have to do things like buy groceries and stuff. That was the first time in my life that I regretted not having a drivers license.
Also, we are clearing the old house out. My family lived there for more than 50 years and it's just so much.You think you are nearly done and then you find more.
It also feels odd to see it like that. It's already sold and the new owner started with taking out flooring...
We've been clearing out the house for 2 to 3 month and I just want to be done with it.

Voice Meme

antrazi — Fri, 26 Jun 2015 00:44:19 GMT

Audio and voice recording >>

lots of pauses and sighs

-Introduce yourself with how you *think* we see you.
-Childhood nickname and why?
-Your favourite swear words.
-Favourite holiday destination.
-How long do you think Supernatural will run?
-Favourite character?
-Favourite secondary character?
-Sammy's most 'fabulous' hair season.
-Dean's best insult!
-Tell us what your wishes are for the boys.
-Pronounce the word squirrel.
-Favourite season 10 episode.
-Newest show related crush.
-Read us a small excerpt of your own fic. Read us a small excerpt of someone else's fic.
-Anything else?

Me, Life, Fandom

antrazi — Wed, 20 May 2015 15:55:24 GMT

I debated with myself if I wanted to post something or not and finally decided that it was the easier thing.

I dropped of LJ like 1 month ago, even before my birthday (thanks by the way for all the great birthday wishes and greetings) because I just wasn't well enough and in severe pain. At first I thought I ate something wrong, then it was pretty clear that it was something different. I got it checked out by a doctor, had a blood test done and still no answer.
Since my stomach didn't get better and I actually have a history of stomach problems since childhood (And a few other physical issues. I was the sickly kid) I decided to go back to my childhood diet when it was really bad: Nothing with animal fat of any kind, nothing dairy, no pork at all, nothing with sugar (limited glucose, no saccharose), nothing with vinegar, no vegetable in the cabagge or bean family, no citrus fruits or anything to acidic, no nuts, no spices other than salt and (a bit) pepper, nothing roasted or fried...
I'm honest enough to admit that one of the reasons I'm full-figured is that when it got better and I was finally allowed to eat like a normal person I went totally overboard.

Good news is, since around last Saturday I'm actually able to keep the food in and the pain is down to managable without medication and keeps getting better.
Given the happenings in the fandom I thought it was a good idea to say, I'm still here, I'm relatively well and I hope the same for you all as well.
I followed the whole situation with Jared here and on FB and Twitter, wrote him something, and I'm just so glad, 1) how great this fandom has reacted, and 2) to see that other fans had the same emotional reaction that you can't really explain to others

edited because my mind swapped something

To all writers on AO3

antrazi — Mon, 13 Apr 2015 18:51:36 GMT

It turns out ebook-tree.com uploaded AO3 stories without permission.
Here are the instructions what to do and more information.
It will be interesting to see how they will react and how long it will take. Just writing my own mail for them.

SPNSpringfling

antrazi — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 20:07:03 GMT

Surprisingly I had a lot to do in the last month and wasn't very active here. But: The SPNSpringfling reveals are up.

The fic I got was

Title: Surprising Confessions
Pairing: Sam/OFC/Dean
Rating: NC17
by runedgirl

It's a very hot fic in the current season, go check it out.

the fic I wrote was

Title: All Worth It
Pairing: Dean/Crowley
Rating: R
Any warnings: Bloodplay, Knifeplay, D/s
Community/My other Journal
for theymp

It's far from my normal style but it was nice to try my hand at this pairing.

Happy in Athens

antrazi — Sat, 24 Jan 2015 21:54:49 GMT

Happy in Athens
Pre-Series. Before Dean told Cassie.
Note: Part of the Birthday Fic Series for Dean Winchesters birthday

Dean was never in love before he met Cassie but she was absolutely perfect for him: Funny and witty and downright bossy because he didn't enjoy women who were afraid to speak for themselves. She had a full and unashamed laughter, a mirthful smile and playful attitude. Dean debated with himself how to tell her about hunting. He needed to have that talk, everything else would be unfair to her.

She came back from her last class for the day and put her things to the side, telling him about her idiotic professor at the same time.

She saw that he had prepared a snack for her, knowing she would be hungry. Her thank you kiss before she devoured her food was a promise for later.

Her warm laughter was everything he needed: It didn't matter that Sam had taken off or that his father had decided to ditch Dean as well, the few weeks they had together made clear to him that he wanted this to last. It was time to to tell her what he really did.

Whatever was needed

antrazi — Sun, 04 Jan 2015 23:15:29 GMT

Whatever was needed
Sam, between Season 9 and Season 10.

Sam grabbed their – his – medicine bag. Not the kit they kept for hunts, with sewing material and pain reliever, but the other one with regular medications: antacids, vitamin supplements, little things like that. And Deans collection. Big brother had always taken drugs from time to time, snorted, smoked and swallowed most of what he could get his hands on. As far as Sam had been aware he only declined drugs like heroin or meth, there was a reason he was relieved Deans first drug of choice would always be booze.
It was also the reason Sam tended to avoid everything but booze and weed.
He needed to find Deans corpse. Find out whatever Crowley had done to him and he would not rest till he found the demon.
He grabbed the container with the amphetamines without a second thought.

My fics 2014

antrazi — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 18:49:00 GMT

With this being the worst year in my existence, an abysmal Christmas and a shitty New Year's Eve let's concentrate on the positive. Next year can only get better

Total number of completed stories: 33 + 3 Series
Breakdown by Fandom:

Supernatural

Unconnected Supernatural Drabbles: Drabbles 41 - 48
The Aftermath, After Season 9
Temporary Displacement, Winchesters don't really die.
Picking up the pieces, Season 7. After Godstiel, heaven was a disaster area.
Finding the perfect candidate, Somebody decides to adopt Dean.
Consequences, Sometime after Season 9. A meeting between Dean and Death.
An interesting development, 9.23. Another perspective.
Some Time Off, Death
An easy case, Season 2. That was exactly what they needed.
In Purgatory , graphic poetry and second person POV
e-dating: Hell 2.0 , Even the King of Hell wants somebody sometimes. And he has to find them the same way as everybody else.
The Value of Birthday gifts , Sam's birthday gift for Dean.
Necessities, Dean knew which skills he needed, and he knew how to get them.
At the Water Cooler , Season 9, Meanwhile, down in hell
Unacceptable Sin , Sam was dead.
Of Sacrifices , Not all pagan gods lost their powers over time.
Lost Battles, Jim Murphy knew which battles he could win and which he didn't even have to fight
Time Out , The Winchesters got a little break.

Supernatural Crossovers

Alternate Vessel of Castiel: Doctor Who, Harry Potter,Married with Children, MASH, Buffy
A little Break, SPN/Buffy ficlet series: ficlet 1, ficlet 2, ficlet 3
Drinking Companion, Buffy/SPN, Season 8. Being back out of purgatory was hard.
Deanna the Vampire Slayer , Deanna Winchester is the Slayer, and Sam and Dawn are her younger siblings. Just when she thought vampires and demons were tough to deal with, along came the angels, and they're bigger dicks than the Council ever was. Beats going to hell, though.
Meeting the family, SPN/Addams Family, Pre-Series, Stanford-Era.
Break from Reality, SPN/Discworld, Bingo entry for Death/Crossover Character
A Rare Opportunity, SPN/Doctor Who, There wasn't much anymore that managed to fascinate Death everytime he saw it.
Jacksonville, Florida, SPN/Fringe, Dean remembers a lot of his childhood but some parts are not that clear
Finding Potential , SPN/Highlander, Law enforcement aren't the only ones keeping an eye on the Winchesters.
Sweetest Deal , SPN/House, After the House Series finale. House knew what to do.
A meeting in the woods, SPN/Sentinel, An unexpected meeting Ellison and Sandburg would never forget again.
Work Trip, SPN/TOS, Dean's on a work trip on the Enterprise.
Intersecting worlds, SPN/X Men, An old friend calls Dean for help

Other Fandoms

Buffy: After the Spell, Always a girl!Spike/Buffy
Harry Potter: The End of the Beginning, Book 7, an alternate version of the finale battle.
MASH: Playtime, After the show. Spanking
Phineas and Ferb: Sharknado
Voyager: A Good Day, Janeway reflecting

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? I don't know. I was to distracted by RL to be honest.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I wrote my first f/f this year, I wouldn't have predicted that. I'm the first to admit that it's not particular good but it's also not really bad, and it was my first try ever.

What's your own favorite story of the year? “Temporary Displacement”

Did you take any writing risks this year? Not really

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I work better if I don't have overall goals

From my past year of writing, what was...

My best story of this year: “Finding the perfect candidate”. I think I really got the POV right :)

My most popular story of this year: According to AO3, “Alternate Vessel of Castiel”.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: “Playtime”. On the other hand, that Fandom is older than me, kudos for still be having a Fandom and readers

Most fun story to write: “Temporary Displacement”

Story with the single sexiest moment: I can't think of anything.

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Nothing that I can think of. I write mostly gen

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: “A meeting in the woods” It's been a while since I lurked in the Sentinel Fandom but it was really strange not to see them as the capable and knowledgeables ones

Hardest story to write: “Deanna the Vampire Slayer” since it's my first real Fusion

Biggest disappointment: “Intersecting worlds” I want to continue it but I know myself and my Wall of Shame better

Biggest surprise: How often I wrote the character Death!

Most unintentionally telling story: I don't know. The most telling is probably not a specific fic but my choice in characters this year.

Fic-writing goals for 2015: Taking time for myself to write when I want or need to.

2013

Who is Your 'Supernatural' Boyfriend? - Did not see that coming

antrazi — Thu, 18 Dec 2014 14:13:05 GMT

Who is Your 'Supernatural' Boyfriend?

Because why not?

antrazi — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 13:04:35 GMT

Dean

Gabriel

Crowley

Alistair

Season 2

A few, but Monster Movie was the first SPN episode I ever saw and will always be special for me.

I'm both not a shipper and open to all ships, so I just claim the one ship every fan can get behind: Dean/Pie

Lucifer

There were characters I don't particular care for but I didn't try to rank them.

Julian Richings (Surprise?). Sorry people, you can't beat Death himself

"Accidents don't just happen accidently." In this world this actually makes sense.

Uff

antrazi — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 01:24:46 GMT

I was really bad for my LJ, I saw today that I didn't update my Masterpost since January. There are a few things that have to be re-coded but I updated and all the fics are included. And I only needed to shush my cat away 12 times during it.

Reverse Bang

antrazi — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 18:40:39 GMT

Hello lovely artist of S1074, I'm waiting for you. Your writer

Halloween Micro-Bang story: An easy case

antrazi — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 00:17:36 GMT

An easy case
Season 2. That was exactly what they needed.
Art by caffienekitty, written for Halloween Micro-Bang

Sam had heard his brother in all kinds of situations before, including one of them nearly dying. The tiny sounds of sheer terror were new, not something he had ever had the misfortune to hear. The only reason the younger Winchester was not curling around his brother to protect him from whatever threatened him was that they were both fine. And because it wouldn't have changed anything.

Dean stared at the miniature Impala on their rickety table, his eyes full of sorrow and heartbreak. “They did this to her, Sammy. They couldn't hurt us so they went after her, knowing she was defenseless. Who does something like that, Sam.” Sams heart broke seeing his brothers anguish.

He would never say it to Dean, but this could have gone so much worse.

The witch had retaliated after they had already checked into their Motel, after they had taken their bags to their rooms. Everything left in the car was miniaturized as well: their burner cells, most of their weapons, extra clothes, their cooler with beer and food for the road. Sam hoped they wouldn't need their suits before they found a way to revert the curse.

It had sounded like such a good idea, a nice little case that wouldn't be that physically demanding with Sams broken hand. Just a witch with an overdeveloped sense of humor who even without killing people didn't care if some of their victims suffered permanent damage.

Sam had been sure that they just needed to find the culprit and remind them that there were better ways to deal with children. No killing necessary on their side.

The younger Winchester wasn't sure that Dean would allow them to go through with this case without killing the guilty party, not after this. Just remembering his brothers reaction to seeing her, carefully picking her up and nestling her into his old and soft shirts to prevent her from denting anywhere, this was beyond personal: The witch had desecrated their home.

As a hunter Sam was aware that all these stereotypical assumptions about witches had nothing to do with reality. They weren't ugly, had green skin or warts of any kind and came in both genders. Still, the witch in question was not what Sam expected him to look like. The jovial man in his sixties looked more like the typical Mall Santa Claus than a pissed of witch who got angry about kids destroying his rose bushes because of stray balls.

The man just needed one look at Sam. “Really, I thought you hunters got that you aren't welcome here. Or are you one of those who kill humans who don't kill others?” He stepped away from the door but Sam stayed where he was. “Not normally. But my brother would make an exception for somebody who cursed his car. We just wanted to talk to you. A little reminder that kids are kids and frightening them away is enough. Make your spell non-permanent and no hunter will care about you at all. But no, you had to go and make it so much worse.”

The witch sighed. “If I reverse everything you kind will stay away?”

Sam nodded. “That's the deal. And nobody involved has to die.”

The older man made a decision and lit a candle, murmuring a language Sam didn't recognize. Why couldn't their cases always be that simple?

The loud crash rattled the bathroom and surprised Dean. What the hell had happened?

Just opening the door showed what had happened, his baby stood in the middle of the motel room in her original size. Finally able to check her over he looked for any damages when Sam called. “Hey Dean, check if the car is back to how it how it was.”

“I'm standing in front of her, everything looks alright. No scratches, no dents, nothing.”

Sam sounded relieved. “Good, good. Coming out of a case completely damage free is a nice change.”

Dean looked around the motel room, took in the broken table of the kitchenette, the chairs and the beds that had all been in the way of something expanding that was a lot more solid than them. And the small door to the outside that would have to go. “Sure. But don't expect our deposit back.” He closed the call before his brother could ask anything more.

The Wicked Awards

antrazi — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 20:32:26 GMT

Can you believe it, I actually won! My story Of Wishes and Words is Runner-Up in the category Crossover Fiction, that was a really nice surprise.
Congrats to all the other winners, there are so many great fics, vids and pics out there. For anybody who hasn't already, check out the complete list.

In Purgatory

antrazi — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:57:46 GMT

In Purgatory
for spnspiration
Notes/Tags: graphic poetry and second person POV. Click for bigger version.

Got my assignment

antrazi — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 15:16:15 GMT

for intoabar.

Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb) goes into a bar and meets... Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)!

I have to think about that. The other pairings I had in the past with this Ficathon were easier.

Experimental Bingo

antrazi — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 17:33:13 GMT

from spnspiration. Yes, I'm actually trying. Since I don't do art I have no idea how to translate some of these, and there are other fields I did before but never in English. Good thing there is no timelimit.

Finding Potential

antrazi — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 09:40:26 GMT

Finding Potential
SPN/Highlander crossover. Law enforcement aren't the only ones keeping an eye on the Winchesters.

Joe Dawson looked through the file and read another time through the information the Watchers had. Sam and Dean Winchester both had seemingly died and come back if police reports could be believed. As was normal nowadays with younger immortals the Watchers had a lot of information about them in comparison to the older immortals but it got more broken up when Dean was just shy of five years and Sam just a baby. Their father had gone mostly off the grid. Of course the wealth of police reports made up for that.
There hadn't been anything about the boys being adopted but that didn't mean that much. Depending how the parents got the children they just would not be able to find anything. Another thing that made it harder to identify pre-immortals and immortals from regular humans.
Joe wondered about the chance of getting two pre-immortals in the same family living as siblings. There had to be astronomical odds against that. Perhaps is was just one of them and the other one had never died?
They would have to make sure to inform every Watcher in the lower 48 to keep an eye out for them, to see if they were Immortal as they thought or just incredible lucky.
He sighed. It would have been so much easier if he could just send MacLeod or Adam in the area to check but that wasn't really an option at the moment. And even if they had been right, the way they were living it was impossible to send a Watcher after them as a regular Watcher beyond mere identification. It was not ideal but the best choice in this specific case would be to rely on law enforcement for any kind of surveillance.

Some Time Off

antrazi — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 16:53:34 GMT

Some Time Off
AN: For DEW. I completely forgot I didn't post this here

Death looked over his choices. Chocolate, different kinds of popcorn, nachos with cheese, a super sized soft drink and other classic movie food. He wasn't sure that it was enough but he could always go out and get more. He wanted to enjoy this time as much as he could.
A comedy movie marathon would be good for his equivalent of a grace, even Death needed some time off once in a while.
He made himself comfortable, grabbed the first bowl of popcorn and started the first movie. The Fates had told him he would love the Final Destination series.

Update August project

antrazi — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 13:30:19 GMT

I'm actually surprised, I managed to write every day for a month like I wanted. And other then two times I got to post them on time!
If somebody wants to go back to something of this month, here is everything.

Supernatural

Unconnected Supernatural Drabbles: Zachariah's Vessel, Cain, Jody Mills & Doc Benton
The Aftermath, After Season 9
Temporary Displacement, Winchesters don't really die.
Picking up the pieces, Season 7. After Godstiel, heaven was a disaster area.
Finding the perfect candidate, Somebody decides to adopt Dean.
Consequences, Sometime after Season 9. A meeting between Dean and Death.
An interesting development, 9.23. Another perspective.

Supernatural Crossovers

Alternate Vessel of Castiel: Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Married with Children, MASH, Buffy
A little Break, SPN/Buffy ficlet series: ficlet 1, ficlet 2, ficlet 3
Drinking Companion, Buffy/SPN, Season 8. Being back out of purgatory was hard.
Meeting the family, SPN/Addams Family, Pre-Series, Stanford-Era.
Break from Reality, SPN/Discworld, Bingo entry for Death/Crossover Character
A Rare Opportunity, SPN/Doctor Who, There wasn't much anymore that managed to fascinate Death everytime he saw it.
Jacksonville, Florida, SPN/Fringe, Dean remembers a lot of his childhood but some parts are not that clear
A meeting in the woods, SPN/Sentinel, An unexpected meeting Ellison and Sandburg would never forget again.
Work Trip, SPN/TOS, Dean's on a work trip on the Enterprise.
Intersecting worlds, SPN/X Men, An old friend calls Dean for help

Other Fandoms

Buffy: After the Spell, Always a girl!Spike/Buffy
Harry Potter: The End of the Beginning, Book 7, an alternate version of the finale battle.
MASH: Playtime, After the show. Spanking
Phineas and Ferb: Sharknado
Voyager: A Good Day, Janeway reflecting

A Rare Opportunity

antrazi — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 12:40:10 GMT

A Rare Opportunity
SPN/Dr Who. There wasn't much anymore that managed to fascinate Death everytime he saw it.

A new regeneration, changing from one form to the next was always an experience the Doctor could best describe as dying. It wasn't exactly the same but it wasn't completely wrong either.
Death watched the change with the interest of a scientist studying a rare specimen.
The moment the body changed the soul of the Timelord was free. A few minor things changed in his behavior but his soul stayed the same. Light, beautiful, glowing in always changing frequencies.
The soul anchored itself back into the different body. Death knew that it was over and looked forward to the next time this would happen. With Timelords being nearly extinct in this time there would only be a few more opportunities to witness this.
The eternal concept decided his break was over and concentrated back on his work.