anneebrat

Time Chapter 7

anneebrat — Sun, 16 Nov 2014 06:46:16 GMT

Author: AnnieO
Character/Pairing: 10/Rose
Rating: R
Summary:The choices made throughout life can have ever lasting consequences, some greatre than others. To save the universe The Doctor is forced into a choice that could destroy everything he holds dear to him. To save one...he may loose the other.
Disclaimer: I saddly do not own Doctor Who. BBC does.
Author's Notes: Sorry t's been so long sinceI posted chapter 6. I think I am back on track and it all goes well only 3 more chapters to the end

It was nothing and it was everything.

It was vastness and it was emptiness. It was silence and it was deafening. It was darkness and it was brightness. It was up and it was down. It was never ending it was un-beginning. It was heaven and it was hell. It was the void.

And Rose Tyler was trapped.

The path, once, just a moment ago, so clear to her, now vanished into the abyss around her. Part of her, she knew, had made it through before the breach had closed, but the part that was Rose Tyler remained trapped. Alone…lost.

For the first time she felt the shaft of fear stab through her as the depth of the consequences of being in the void meant. She could already feel the drain on her as she struggled to absorb and understand the chaos around her. The Doctor had told her the void was hell, and now she understood why.

It was in one moment being bombarded with an overabundance of information in every sense her mind possessed. Only to have it suddenly stop and be surrounded by nothing, complete sensory loss. Part of her began to wonder if she was in fact dead and this was Purgatory, but she could still feel the slight tug at her mind that told her, somewhere she was still alive. It was only a matter of surviving until the way opened again.

With no clear path out, and no option but to bide her time, she mentally wound herself around the slim tether that tied her to her corporeal form and settled in.

Rose Tyler was trapped, but she was willing to wait.

For now…

________________________________________

Hands, grabbing him, pulling him away from her, he fought, struggled for release so he could return to her side. Around him he could hear voices shouting at him to let go, trying to reason with him, but he was beyond reasoning now. She was here and his mind had narrowed itself down to once fact…no one was taking her from him again.

Ever.

Martha watched as Ianto and Owen struggled to separate the distraught Time Lord from the form he incessantly clung to. Jack was still staring in shock and Gwen and Tosh were busy trying to figure out what the hell had even happened. So with a deep breath Martha drove forward grabbed the Doctor’s face and forced him to look at her. “Let go!” She ignored the lack of sanity in his eyes and held them with her best ‘or else’ look. “I can’t help if you don’t let me Doctor.”

The Doctor glanced from Rose to Martha and back again before reluctantly releasing her into Owen’s waiting arms.

“Not breathing.” Owen quickly felt for a pulse against her gray skin. “No pulse.” He quickly laid her flat and began CPR. “Martha!” He paused long enough to rip open the tattered remains of Rose’s shirt.

“Got it!” She turned and grabbed the AED from Tosh. Quickly she placed the pads on Rose’s bare chest and pressed the button.

“Charging.” A calm mechanical voice reported. “Clear.”

Owen pulled back and watched as Rose’s body convulsed as the machine poured an electric current into her heart.

“No pulse.” The machine began its insistent beeping. “Charging.”

The Doctor shuddered at the sound and fought to keep himself from ripping it from her body. “Please Rose...”

“Clear…”

He shut his eyes as again her body convulsed.

“No pulse…”

In his mind he could feel the darkness gathering, trying to break free from the cage he confined it in. “Please…”

“Charging…”

“Don’t leave me…”

“Clear…”

Around him the world went silent as first one beep, then another and another-faint, but there. His mind grabbed onto the steady rhythm that told him she was fighting. She was not leaving him. She was here.

“We need to get her in the Hub now.” Owen said as he quickly assessed her condition.

Without a word Jack pushed forward and picked Rose up into his arms and without a glance at anyone ran as fast as he could the others following quickly behind him. He could hear the pounding of his heart and feel the faint flutter of her pulse against his fingers. She was cold…so cold as if death had already drawn all that was Rose from her body. Well he knew a thing or two about death and he’d be damned if he let it take her from him again. He tightened his grip and growled when Owen tried to take her from him and then tenderly he laid her on the waiting bed.

“Right,” Owen shoved Jack out of the way. “Mind letting me do my fuckin’ job?”

Jack simply stepped backwards until he felt the cold steal of the wall against his back. Beside him the Doctor watched as Owen and Martha hooked up IV’s, monitors and basically fought to keep Rose’s failing body alive. Neither of them even dared to breath as they waited, time seemed to slow to an impossible speed and in what seemed like hours, days, even a life time, minutes ticked by. Then suddenly Martha was their nodding and telling them it was up to her now, she and Owen had done what they could.

“Could you…” He nodded to the Doctor who had moved and took up residence next to Rose’s bed.

“I’ll be in hearing distance if you need anything Jack.” Martha smiled sadly as she glanced back at the pair. “He never told her did he?”

Jack shook his head. “ Never had the words, and then he ran out of time.”

“He needs to say it,” She gently touched Jack’s arm. “Even if she can’t hear him, he needs to hear it, to believe.” With a finial glance back at the Doctor she quietly left the room.

Jack slowly made his way over to the bed and glanced down at her pale face from behind the Doctor. “She’s a fighter Doc.” Jack reached out and touched the other man’s shoulder. “Our Rose.” He could feel the muscles tense under his fingers. “Tell her.” He turned and left the Doctor alone.

________________________________________

“Rose? Come in Rose.” Mickey’s voice broke the total silence that fell after the collapse of the rift, “Damn it, would someone answer me?!”

Alyce shakily got to her feet and took a deep breath before responding. “Code key is Alpha-michael-2271, agent Foxtrot-Romeo 221 is declaring the loss of agent Alpha-Bravo 1. At this time, agent Beta-Zulu 301 is to assume command.”

“What?” Mickey’s voice cracked over the static.

“Authenticate Beta-Zulu.”

“I…she can’t be.”

Alyce forced the lump in her throat back. “She’s gone Mickey. Authenticate.”

“I authenticate Alpha-David-5591.”

“Command code verified.” Alyce reached down and flipped off her comm before slowly walking to the spot, that just minutes before had been the opening into hell. She squatted down and brushed away the dust and debris that had settled over the spot. “I hope you found what you’re looking for.” With a heavy sigh she stood, “Mickey I’m coming in.” And without a second glance she spun on her heels and pointed her mind towards the job at hand. There would be time to grieve later.

There always was.

________________________________________

Ring a’round the Rosie. Pockets full of posies, Ashes, ashes. The Wolf falls down.

She had been startled when she had first heard the rhyme in her mind. She had thought herself alone here. Now she found herself not so sure. She knew that others had been lost in the void, the Doctor had told her as much. She knew the Cybermen and the Daleks had gone into the void and she knew the Reapers called this place home. That is she knew to be fact.

This old man. He played 1, he played nick-knack on his thumb. With a nick-knack patty-whack give a dog a bone. Doctors left there all alone.

This though she couldn’t make sense of, why would she be hearing children’s rhymes in her head? Why would the voice feel familiar to her? And why did she have a sudden sense of dread for the Doctor.

Something was wrong.

London Bridges falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridges falling down my fair Lady. Take the Wolf and lock her up, lock her up, lock her up. Take the Wolf and lock her up in the darkness.

It was a trap. Had always been a trap. Her one clear path to return had become her prison. Now Rose knew she had little time left. She had to find a way out before whoever trapped her here decided they had enough of this game.

The eencey weency Doctor climbed up the waterspout. Down came the rain and washed the Doctor out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. And the eencey weency Doctor never tried again.

She didn’t have much time; she could feel something slowly unraveling her tether. She quickly reinforced her hold and felt the presence slip back as if considering its options. She knew it would return and she knew she was running out of time.

Hey diddle diddle the Doc and his fiddle. The Wolf did howl at the moon. The little girl laughed. To see her pray caught. And the world bow down to her too.

________________________________________

Alyce had never been one to dwell on split second decisions made at critical moments. In her years with Torchwood she had never once second guessed a choice she had made, she had always stood a firm ground when questioned in her decisions all that changed in less than a second when she stepped off the zeppelin and was confronted with Peter and Jackie Tyler.

“What happened?” Jackie demanded.

Mickey stepped forward and nodded towards the waiting vehicles. “Not now Jackie.”

“Peter…”

“No Jacks, he’s right.” He motioned the team to precede them. “No use standing in the weather when we have a nice warm office waiting for us.”

The drive to Canary Warf seemed far shorter than usual for Alyce, the normal heavy London traffic seemed to simply part for them. The drive itself was in silence as neither Mickey of Jake seemed inclined to push for answers. Thankfully Jackie and Peter were in their own transport so she was spared from that confrontation for a little longer. In her mind she ran the moment over and over trying to see if there had been another option left. Each time she came to the same conclusion, there was nothing she could have done. It was Rose’s decision and short of rendering her unconscious she was not going to be stopped. Deep inside they all knew this day might come. Rose had always said if there was a way back and she had the chance there would be no stopping her. She had even gone so far as to write letters and leave Alyce instructions in case she managed to succeed.

It seemed in a matter of minutes they were pulling into the underground structure of Torchwood, Mickey and Jake both exited and started collecting there gear, Alyce joined them after taking a moment to collect herself and grabbed her own gear. All three turned as Pete walked up to them.

“Pete…”

He held up a hand stalling Alyce, “As far as I am concerned you did right.” He ran a hand over his tired face and looked at Mickey and Jake who both nodded in agreement. “If you had tried to stop her Rose would have simply found another way. We all,” He pointed including the whole team. “Knew what would happen if the barrier ever opened again.” He looked over his shoulder at Jackie, “she knew to, deep down.” He sighed. “Right, take a couple hours get cleaned up grab a meal then meet me for debrief.”

“Rather get it over with, you know while it’s fresh in my mind.” She glanced over at Jackie, “besides I promised.”

“Alright, go on do what you need, I can get what I want from the boys.” With that Peter Tyler turned on his heel and motioned for Mickey and Jake to follow.

Alyce went and set her gear down, took a deep breath and walked over to Jackie, “Mrs. Tyler…”

“She went back didn’t she,” It wasn’t a question. “Found a way to him.”

“That’s what she believed.”

Jackie nodded and took a deep breath. “It wasn’t your fault. When my Rose puts her mind to something she’s going to do it.” She hugged herself.

“It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest.” Alyce blinked back tears. “what if she didn’t…”

“No you don’t,” Jackie spun round, “Rose is alive. She’s back there with Mr. Impressive, traveling and knowing those two already in trouble.” She jabbed a finger in Alyce’s chest. “She’s there in that daft blue box of his listening to him ramble on about what ‘ever the hell he wants. She’s with him and she’s happy.” She stepped back and crossed her arms. “That’s what I believe…no that’s what I know.”

“She made me promise,” She pulled out a simple box. “Even made me keep it in my pack, in case…if she ever left she told me to make sure….”

“Not here, “She placed her hand over Alyce’s on the box. “I can use a nice cuppa tea,” She threaded her arm through Alyce’s. “And I insist that you join me.”

Without another word the two disappeared into the beginning shadows of the night in search of comfort and reassurance in each other, neither able to voice either fears. There was no way to know if Rose had succeeded in her attempt. They would never know.

She was gone. They could only hope and believe. It had been enough for Rose.

It would be enough for them.

________________________________________

For once he paid no attention to the passage of time. Around him it drifted, mush like an unending river, always moving, sometimes changing, but always…always flowing. He could stop it. He could slow it. He could even change it but he did nothing. He simply let it slip past. Afraid that if he touched the fragile thread that was Rose, she would disappear. Time no longer mattered. Only Rose…His Rose.

He didn’t search the time lines for any hits of what her future held. He watched he waited as she fought a war he could not touch. He focused instead on the steady rise and fall of her chest, of the simple beat of her heart as if it meant more to him then the universe itself.

And he silently admitted it did.

He burned out a star to say good-bye. He’d burn the universe if it meant she was safe.

-Martha and Owen had done what they could. Physically she was stable. Mild hypothermia, dehydrated, and low blood glucose. Simple enough to fix, even for a human. No it wasn’t the physical that threatened her life. He knew the moment he had tried to brush her thoughts looking for the familiar calm minty green sensation of her mind. Instead he found a barren place void of everything that made Rose…Rose.

Her mind still functioned. Making her heart beat, her lungs draw air. Synapses fired she responded, she felt pain, could, heat, touch. The person lying in the bed was simply an empty vessel. Rose was lost somewhere between awareness and emptiness. He was the only one likely to be able to find her and lead her out of the purgatory she was in.

There was just one problem. He had to know where to look. He couldn’t simply throw his mind after her consciousness and expect to find her and lead her out. No, it wasn’t that simple. He could just as easily never find her or get himself trapped; He needed to find an anchor. Something to keep him tethered to this world without draining his strength while he searched. Once he found her it would be simple enough to follow the tether back with Rose in tow. Easy enough for a Time Lord, but he had to wait. She wasn’t strong enough yet.

So he waited, measuring the passing moments with each rise and fall of her chest. Each beat of her heart. He waited, and time marched on.

________________________________________

Who are you?

Around her the emptiness seemed to shift and suddenly there was light and sound. Her senses stung from the sudden onslaught of information. She shook her head trying to clear her eyes of dancing spots and her ears of ringing. Once she recovered she looked around and found herself in the TARDIS control room, only it wasn’t, She glanced around noting the subtle differences from what her mind remembered.

Who are you?

Rose turned facing a white wolf standing beside the control counsel. Larger then any wolves Rose had ever seen and whiter the snow, it pulsed with power and it’s golden eyes glowed bright as the stars it was into those eyes Rose found herself drawn.

Who are you? The voice repeated, the wolf, her head tilted slightly as she regarded Rose.

“Rose.”

The wolf gave herself a shake. That is who you were. Who are you now?

”Who are you?”

I am you. The wolf answered simply. And you are me. We are one in the same.

Rose shook her head. “How are we the same?”

Many questions, the wolf seemed to smile, and many answers will come, but for now trust in what I say, for your life will depend on that trust.

”Trust you? Rose laughed, “far as I know this isn’t even real. I’m safe at home in my bed sleeping and all this is just a dream.”

The wolf growled deep in her chest, stubborn child, this is no dream. It is a trap.

“Trap?” Rose glanced around, “The TARDIS”

.Nothing here is what it seems. This is simply a fragment of your memory that I used to make you feel safe, outside of this it a prison. The wolf stood and stalked towards Rose “But not a prison for the body, it is for the mind…the soul if you prefer.

“Ok say I believe you,” Rose stepped around the counsel, “who’d want to keep me here and why?”

The wolf growled low in her throat. The one who should not be, she was never meant to exist. Her time line was only one probable future and not the one that came to pass. The wolf snarled. Somehow she is here and she is the one who wishes to hold you…to keep you from him and him from you.

Rose sat heavily to the grating. “I went through the void. I was trying to get back to him.”

Yes, the wolf nuzzled Rose; He waits as he always has. The child and the wanderer are meant to be one.

“How?” Rose looked into the wolf’s eyes. “How do I get back to him?”

There is one way and one way only. You must be quick for your body is failing the longer you remain the closer to death you will drift.

“And if I can’t get back in time?”

Your body will die and you will be trapped forever. She will win and the wanderer will be lost to madness. Time itself will begin to unravel and the universe will end.

Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. “No choice then.” She opened her eyes. “What do I need to do?”

Remember.

”Remember? Remember what?”

The wolf sat her whole body seemed to glow with a golden energy. Who you are, He hid it well from you, so afraid that you would burn, he hid it deep inside. You must break down the walls between you and it. The wolf stood and started to walk away. Only then can you save everything you love.

“Wait,” The wolf stopped turning back to Rose, “How will I know if I find it?”

You will know.

“But how?”

In your heart you already know. The wolf’s nostrils flared We are out of time. I must return before she knows I have left.

“Wait, “around her the TARDIS began to fade. “Please…”

Remember&hellip;

It was nothing and it was everything. It was a trap. It was between her and him. She reached deep down and began looking for the strength she needed. There deep inside, hidden behind a false memory she found it. She began to undo the walls built around it. One by one they fell until she found the golden spark. She could hear it calling, singing to her. She reached pulling it to her.

It was time.

She was done waiting.
________________________________________

The house had long since fallen quiet, Pete had disappeared into his office Quinn was bathed and tucked into his bed for the night and at last Jackie had the peace to slip away and watch the message Rose had left her.

She found herself drawn to the rooms Rose had chosen as her own, near the back of the house away from the others. Rose had claimed she wanted the privacy from the busy household, but Jackie had long suspected Rose had meant to keep herself apart, in a way preparing everyone for the day when He came for her. Only He hadn’t come and Rose had drawn more and more into herself ….until Bad Wolf Bay.

It was then Jackie knew He couldn’t come for her. She was trapped in the wrong world with no way to get back to where she belonged…where she was needed. Rose had thrown herself into her work at Torchwood, pulling even further from her family, but Jackie had seen the light come back into her daughter’s eyes and she knew that Rose would one day find her way back. Part of Jackie had dreaded that day while another wanted nothing more for Rose.

The day had come. Rose was gone.

She slipped the DVD into the player and took a deep breath before pushing the play button. Rose’s office at Torchwood appeared on the screen, she sat at her desk looking confident and Jackie felt a wash of pride flow over her. This was her Rose, the old Rose, full of purpose and Tyler stubbornness. Jackie hadn’t relived till that moment how much of the light had gone out of her eyes.

“Mum, I know that you have been worried about me since Bad Wolf Bay, but I know I don’t belong here. I never did: She paused taking a deep breath. “I tried; I really did, to do what he wanted, to have a fantastic life…to make him proud. To fit in and find my way in this world, I had hoped that being at Torchwood would help, and at the start it did.” She took a sip from the tea mug sitting on her desk. “It was a distraction; something to keep my mind occupied, to trick it into thinking I was doing what he wanted. I can’t lie to myself anymore Mum”

Rose leaned back in her chair eyes closed breathing deeply before speaking again. “I’ve been looking into things and I think I found a way to get back, away for me to go home.” She opened her eyes any looked directly at the camera. “If it happens, if the chance comes I’ve asked Alyce to make sure you got this and to let you know what happened. Don’t be too hard on her Mum, she couldn’t stop me anyway.” Rose stood and moved to the front of the desk closer to the camera.

“I won’t lie Mum, it’s dangerous and once I leave I can’t come back. I made my chose and I know that means leaving you, Dad, Mickey, and Quinn behind, most likely without a goodbye. I want you to know I love you. I’ll never forget you and in my heart I know you’ll be fine without me.” She picked a picture frame up from her desk. “You don’t need me Mum, he does. He needs someone to remind him that everything is not black and white. That not everything in the shadows is a monster, that he’s not alone. There’s no way for you to know if I make it or not, Mum, I want you to believe in one thing. I want you to believe in us. ” She turned the photo to the camera. “This is what I want you to remember.”

The image was taken that first Christmas after he had changed. Jackie could even remember when she had managed to sneak it. Outside, the ash falling and the two of them so engrossed in the other they didn’t even notice the world continued to spin around them. Jackie had long since given up hope that Rose would ever come home to stay again and that moment she had managed to capture took away the last of her worries. She knew he would keep her Rose safe, just like she knew at Bad Wolf Bay as she held a grieving Rose in her arms, that she, Jackie Tyler, would do the same for both of them.

“Me and him, together,” she hugged the photo close, tears glistening in her eyes. “He asked me once how long I was gonna stay with him Mum.” Her eyes seemed to catch Jackie’s. “I promised forever and he believed me. “

“Oh Rose,” Jackie could feel her own tears on her face and felt Pete sit behind her and pull her into his embrace.

“I love you Mum,” Rose’s voice cracked and her tears flowed freely. She reached out and brushed her fingers across the screen. “Goodbye.”

The screen went dark.
________________________________________

“Any change?”

Martha shook her head and turned from the observation window. “I’ve\ never seen him like this Jack.” She glanced back to the room. “He’s so lost.”

“I have,” he handed her a cup of tea.

“What if sh doesn’t make it Jack?”

“She will.” His voice indisputable

“But what if she doesn’t?

“She will,” He repeated

“How can you be so sure?”

Jack held her eyes in his for a moment, “Because it’s Rose and there is no way on heaven or Earth he will let her go again.”

Martha turned back to watch through the window. “I hope your right.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I have to be.” He watched as The Doctor gently caressed Rose’s face. “If I’m not, I don’t think the universe will survive the storm that follows.”

As one they stood together watching, waiting, hoping…unable to do more than offer silent support. Willing that for once that fate would not be the cruel mistress and instead would be merciful upon her Lonely Traveler and for once let him have peace.

Just this once, let everyone live.

________________________________________

Can you hear it…

From the darkness a wolf howls

Who are you…

I create myself,

Can you feel it…

Time stops, holding it’s breathe.

Who are you…

I scatter the words throughout Time

Can you touch it…

Around her she reached pulling the power to her.

Who are you…

I can see everything, all that is, all that was, and all that ever can be.

Can you feel it…

A storm is coming.

Who are you…

Bad Wolf

Can you feel it…

The Storm is here…

Good-bye Gypsy

anneebrat — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:07:08 GMT

On Saturday October 1st 2011, after 13 years of laughter, cuddles, getting into everything, tripping me, and being with me through the worst part and the best part of my life my Gypsy passed away at home. You are missed Baby Girl the house is a little empty without you.

Fic: I Wanted

anneebrat — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 21:39:18 GMT

Brand new 9/Rose fic that has been kicking it on my hard drvie for nearly two years. Comments are love. Flames will be used to heat my house.

I.

I wanted to die.

Simple. Easy. Quick. Oh sure I just got this body, hadn’t even looked in a mirror in fact. It didn’t matter; I had no intention of getting comfortable with it. To many memories burned through my head. Too much pain not enough life. This body was brought about through death and pain, and I had ever intention of ending it the same way.

It was simple enough, go in set the bomb and boom no more body. ‘Course I would have to find a way to deal with the bodies I had left, but I’d worry about that later. Right now all that matters was this moment.

Here and now…this is who I am.

Death sang in my mind. Pain flowed through my veins. Emptiness consumed my soul. I wanted to end it. Was gong to end it. Then she was there, all pink and yellow, scared and determined, stupid ape and clever girl.

I took her hand and everything…

Stopped.

The screams, the rage, everything stopped. The emptiness that had haunted me was suddenly filled and I actually thought for a moment that it might have all been a nightmare. Then I said one word…just one…

Run!

And we did. Oh but she is clever, not a bad guess about students. Not even close to the truth, but still not bad for a stupid ape. She impressed me enough that I even told her my brilliant plan, not the part about dying, but everything else.

Then I let go of her hand and everything came crashing back down. The pain, the loneliness…the silence-I had to know something, just one more thing.

“I’m the Doctor by the way. What’s your name?”

“Rose.”

“Nice to met you Rose. Run for your life!”

Rose….

Maybe today isn’t a good day to die.

II.

I wanted it dead.

It was the reason I was scarred .It was the reason I was alone. It was the reason I even landed in this stinking place. It didn’t deserve to live. It didn’t deserve pity. It didn’t deserve anything. I tired. I tried to stop it before it could do any more damage then it had already caused me. But they stopped me. Stupid humans can’t see the danger even if it’s looking down its eyestalk at them.

It was death. It was anger. It was pure evil. And I left Rose alone with it. Again I was forced to choose. Again I was the only one capable of ending it. And again I lost everything.

Rose…

I could feel the darkness gathering. I knew with out her here to keep the nightmares at bay he would come. He would take control and nothing…nothing would survive the rage. The Storm, locked away, contained in the golden touch on a nineteen-year-old human girl. Now the cage was gone and he was ready.

Vanstaten didn’t understand. None of them did. Without Rose, without my anchor I would have no control over what I did. My fists clenched, the fire built up and the storm began to rage. One quick twist, that’s all it would take to end Vanstaten and his pathetic grasp at power, He was so engrossed in his own self-importance he didn’t even see the damage he caused. All those innocents killed. Dying at the hands of something I had to power to stop, but he denied me that chance. Everyone was dead because of him. Everyone!

Rose….

Why hadn’t it killed her? What was it playing at? Oh, but I couldn’t leave her again…never again. So I let it out. I let the one thing I feared out and loose to only cause more death; to let it put more blood on my hands. Why? Why would I do that?

“What use are emotions if you won’t save the woman you love?”

Love? There’s not enough room left in my stone hearts for that emotion. I don’t love her. I can’t love her. Love her…No. Never. I’ll never let that happen. I don’t deserve to love. It doesn’t deserve to live. But then…

Neither do I.

Why is she protecting it? Doesn’t she realize what it is? Death! Destruction! Exterminate!

What about you Doctor? What are you turning into?

That thing killed hundreds of people.

It’s not the one pointing a gun at me.

What have I become? Could I have changed so much since the war that I have no compassion left? Can I be no different then them?

You would make a good Dalek.

Maybe it’s right. Maybe all that’s left in me in hate, loathing, pain, and the vast emptiness of my people. I had mercy once. I even sparred the Dalek’s in their infantile forms. I could have ended it right then, but I couldn’t.

Always the coward me.

I let them live. I let them advance. I let them destroy. I let them…Gallifrey. Arcadia. Utah. It’s my doing. I started the war. I ended that war. And the cost of both was my humanity.

Why do we survive?

It’s my punishment…my very own purgatory. And I let her in. I let her see what I never wanted anyone to see. Death is my silent companion, always beside me no matter how hard I try to keep it back. Now it’s touched Rose and I know she’ll never be the same again. She gave the order. She caused the last Dalek to die. She’ll never be the same person again.

I should’ve taken her home. I never should’ve gone back.

I never should’ve taken her hand.

I can’t let it go now. That hand is all that is keeping me from exploding into a thousand shards of pain. I need her. I should let her go. Back to London, back to beans on toast and watching telly. I should…I should…I can’t.

I don’t deserve her. I don’t want her. I don’t love her. I don’t!

I need her.

III.

I wanted to run.

How could I be so stupid! I never should have brought her here and now she’s gone and done it. Saved her father she says. One life wouldn’t change the world. Ha! One life that shouldn’t be there can shatter the world! Stupid…stupid ape.

Stupid Time Lord!

I can do anything. Just be careful what you wish for.

Yes, I can do anything. No one around to stop me now, no council, no rules, nothing, just me and my own stupid inflated ego. I knew what could happen. I felt it in the time lines. I could have stopped it. Instead here we are trapped inside a church with Reapers outside ripping apart this world. No TARDIS, no plan, no way out…how did I let this happen?

Your wish is my command.

When did making her smile become so important? When did her needs start to overshadow mine? When did she become everything to me? I don’t understand what’s happened. Why do I need her so much? Why can’t I just walk away? Why?

Just tell me your sorry.

I am. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry Rose. I never should have brought you here. You saved him, only to have him sacrifice himself to save the world. Me? I took the cowards way out sacrifice myself so I didn’t have to face the reality of your death.

There was no way out. No hope. The TARDIS was only a means to escape. There was no way to stop what was happening. I knew that even as I told Rose that I could. I couldn’t see a way out. I gave up. No matter what I did I was going to loose her. I couldn’t live with that thought.

So I didn’t

One human could change to world. I just wish it hadn’t been at the expense of Rose. When I saw no way out, he saw the only option. He gave up everything-everyone, the chance to watch Rose grow up. He made a choice. The one I wasn’t willing to ask. He gave his life to save hers. She got her wish to say goodbye.

One stupid little insignificant ape saved the world today.

I’m not sure what that makes me.

IV.

I wanted to dance.

You just assume I don't dance.

What? Are you telling me you do dance?

Nine hundred years old, me. I've been around a bit. I think you can assume at some point I've danced.

Who am I kidding, Time Lords don’t dance we evolved beyond that before you humans were even out of the primordial ooze. We didn’t need to dance we had the looms, no emotion involved.

Then why do I feel like this?

Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?

Well I've got the moves but I wouldn't want to boast.

You've got the moves? Show me your moves.

Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete.

Jack will be back. He'll get us out.

I wanted to toss away the walls I put up between us and just take her in my arms and prove to her that I can be who she wants. In the end I settled for resonating concrete while Captain Flash was off doing whatever it is he does. Rose still believes he’ll come back, me, well I’d rather depend on a Neptunean slug then him. So trusting, My Rose.

My Rose?

The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances

No the world won’t end, at least not today. Captain Flash actually pulled it off and we managed to stop the nannites, in fact just this once everybody lives. For the first time in this life…Every One Lives! I felt alive…rejuvenated…happy. Then Rose is there in my arms and we’re dancing and I don’t care about rules, I don’t care about pain. I care about one thing.

Rose.

V.

I wanted to hide.

Just grab Rose and run to the end of the universe before everything came crashing down on us. I can feel time catching up to us, I can’t stop it; all I can do is watch as the time lines twist and turn. Seeing Margaret again-some how that was the key and now…now I know.

How did you think of the name?

What, Blaidd Drwg? It's Welsh.

I know. But how did you think of it?

Chose it at random, that's all. I don't know. Just sounded good. Does it matter?

Blaidd Drwg.

What's it mean?

Bad Wolf.

Bad Wolf…bad wolf why is that stalking us across time and space? What dose mean? It’s not a coincidence, its there right at the edge of my senses something calling, no not calling…waiting. Waiting for the shadows to fall. Waiting for the pawns to be in place. I can fell the time lines merging. I can taste it. Something is coming.

And I can’t stop it.

I spared her life

You let one of them go but that's nothing new. Every now and then a little victim's spared because she smiled, 'cause he's got freckles. 'Cause they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions. Because once in awhile—on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction—you happen to be kind

Only a killer would know that

Yeah, that’s me, Destroyer or Worlds, Oncoming Storm, murderer, but I’m different from you. I only kill when there is no other choice. No other way to stop the evil from spreading. I remember ever face and name. I remember every mistake. I remember everything. I can’t allow myself to forget, because there’s no one else to remember them. No one else knows their names. I’ll never forget.

But you Margaret, you kill without thought, you forget them, you lost your conscious along time ago. You lost your chance for forgiveness, for mercy-

But how can I condemn her when I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done. I destroyed whole worlds…no I’m not like her. I don’t deserve forgiveness. She doesn’t deserve a second chance.

Neither do I.

One wrong move and she snaps like a promise.

No! She’s supposed to be with Mickey not here. Not in Margaret’s reach. Not in danger. She was supposed to be safe. I can’t let her rip the universe apart, but I can’t loose Rose either. Why can’t I see a way out? Why can’t I see the time line?

Why can’t I choose?

The TARDIS starting to fall under the strain, my beloved friend I can’t loose you. I can’t loose Rose.

I don’t know what to do.

What's that light?

The heart of the TARDIS. This ship's alive. You've opened its soul

It's so bright

Look at it, Margaret

Beautiful

Look inside, Blon Fel-Fotch. Look at the light

A second chance, more then you deserved. A second chance to do things right, to pass by the mistakes of the past, to live the life you want. Good luck Blon Fel-Fotch, enjoy your second chance. Don’t make the mistake I have.

No second chances for me.

VI.

I wanted to scream,

She’s gone. I wasn’t fast enough-I couldn’t save her. Time was against me, and now My Rose paid the price. She was there running towards me, nearly safe and then gone. All I have left is a pile of ash. My mind is telling me to get up to destroy the ones who did this, but I can’t, why should I when my whole reason to live is gone now?

Rose…

Don’t you touch him! Leave him alone! You killed her! Your stupid friggin’ game show killed her!

No I killed her. I never should have brought her here. I never should have gone back for her. I should have just left when I had the chance, I should have been strong enough to let her go. I can’t. I needed her too much. I was a fool and let myself believe I could protect her from anything. I was wrong. And Rose paid the price for my arrogance.

I can’t bring myself to fight when they pull me away, my mind to busy reliving the end over and over again. I can feel the rage starting to build, I keep it caged, now is not the time. Soon…soon I will let the monster loose. They will see the Oncoming Storm, and they will know why the universe fears me.

Lets do it.

VII

I wanted revenge.

That's impossible. I know those ships. They were destroyed

Appears though they've survived

Who did? Who are they?

Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's just about half-a-million of them.

Half-a-million what?

Daleks

Its impossible, they can’t be here! They burned with Gallifrey; they died with the Time Lords. Why do they get to survive while I get nothing but death and loss? What gives them the right to exist?

I will talk to the Doctor

Oh will you? That's nice. Hello!

The Dalek stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.

Oh really? Why's that, then?

We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated

No.

I might have given them a second chance, might have let them scurry away and hide at the edge of the universe, but not now, they just lost there chance at mercy. They’ve taken too much from me now, they’re existence ends today.

Explain yourself

I said "no."

What is the meaning of this negative?

It means "no."

But she will be destroyed!

I can feel the time lines merging and splitting, the end of the Daleks, the end of me, Rose safe, Rose gone forever, all twisting and turning in my mind. All I have to do is grab on stream and mold into what I want and damn the consequences!

No! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth. And then—just to finish off—I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan.

Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death. Rose?

Yes Doctor?

I’m coming for you.

And I always will, anything for you Rose.

I am coming!

VIII.

I wanted her safe.

If I'm very clever—and I'm more than clever, I'm brilliant—I might just save the world. Or rip it apart.

I'll go for the first one

Me too. Now, I've just got to go and power up the game station. Hold on!

It’s done. The TARDIS is where the Daleks can’t touch her. Rose is safe, back on Earth, 20th century London, back to her Mum, telly, and beans on toast. Back to her everyday life with no Daleks, no monsters, no me.

You sent her home. She's safe. Keep working

I had to do it, I had no choice, and she needs to be safe. I did the one thing I thought I could never do. I’m more afraid of her dying then of never being able to see her again, and now…now I know what time has been trying to tell me. Now I know why I survived while the others burned. I wasn’t meant to die then, I was meant to be here in this moment.

But he will exterminate you!

Never doubted him, never will

The sacrifice of a few to save the universe, the end of the human race, the end of Jack, the end of me…the end of the Daleks. For the first time since the Time War I’m at peace. The War ends today.

You really want to think about this. Because if I activate the signal, every living creature dies.

I have to! It has to end now! I can’t let their evil spread!

I am immortal.

D'you want to put that to the test?

Jack’s gone. Rose’s gone I’m the only one left. I can end this right here right now!

I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor! The great exterminator

Destroyer of Worlds, the Oncoming Storm, Ka Faraq Gotn, I killed my own people, I won’t let this continue.

I'll do it!

Then prove yourself, Doctor. What are you? Coward or killer?

I…I …can’t. I can’t bring about the end of another race. I can’t.

Coward. Any day

I failed.

IX.

I wanted to love.

I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.

Rose, you’ve got to stop this! You’ve got to stop this now! You’ve got the entire Vortex running through your head. You’re going to burn.

I want you safe, my doctor. Protected from the false god.

No! No! This wasn’t supposed to happen she wasn’t supposed to come back. What have I done? She’s going to burn. She’s going to die!

You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence. And I divide them. Everything must come to death. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends.

But at what cost…Rose I’m not worth your life. I’m not worth your trust. I’m not worth your love.

I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.

That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?

My head—

I can save you Rose…

Come here

—is killing me

I will save you!

I think you need a doctor…

I love you.

X.

I wanted to burn.

It was time. I had done what needed to be done. I saved Rose, and now I’m ready. I’m at peace.

Rose Tyler. I was going to take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place. They've got dogs with no noses. Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke. And it's still funny

Then why can't we go?

You're not making sense.

I might never make sense again. I might two heads. Or no head. Imagine me with no head! And don't say that's an improvement. It's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're going to end up with.

Believe me Rose, trust me, this is what has to happen. Time has demanded a life, and I give mine willingly in order to save you. Remember everything,

Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I

Yes! Let the fire consume me; let my story end here and now. Let me be reborn. Let me burn for my Northern Star. Let me die, so I can live for Rose.

XI.

I wanted…

Pain…love…life…hope…

Hello!

Death…joy…fire…safe…

I took you’re hand, and I said one word. Just one.

Warmth…home…family…Rose

Run!

And we did.

Fic: Itty Bitty

anneebrat — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 19:59:26 GMT

This is a short piece that fits into my Stepping Stones series. Click

It’s amazing…nearly to the point of impossible. Something so…perfect came from something so scared. Innocence and trust, oh you’re so full of it. So pure, so fragile, so…

I still haven’t figured out how you got here.

Oh, I know the basics. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy looses girl to other universe, boy gets girl back, boy and girl…ummm…dance. Then simple-put-things mix and then poof! Suddenly two become four, four become eight, eight become sixteen, and so on until there’s too many to count. And then one day there’s something new and wonderful, a soft flutter of two heartbeats, steady, strong.

Thump…thubthub…thump…thubthub…

And in that moment I knew you were real, so real and so…so impossible. Someone told me once that I did 10 impossible things before breakfast, but with you I wasn’t even trying. You just were…there.

I remember the first time I felt you brush against my mind. Barely five months of existence and you simply ghosted in and filled emptiness that I had never expected to loose. You saved me, even before you knew who I was.

And then you decided that you needed to practice your gymnastics, you get that from your Mum by the way, and even the lightest flutter from you was enough to remind me of what I was. Not just a Time Lord anymore, no, so much more.

It wasn’t easy, you coming into the world. I nearly lost you before you even arrived. So small and so…well…loud, you get that from your Gran. But you know what? I wouldn’t have you any other way.

All itty-bitty - toes, fingers, hands, everything, promise me.

Don’t loose your innocence too soon. Don’t let my demons haunt you. Don’t let go of who you are. And mostly…

Ella,

Don’t grow up to fast.

Time Chapter 2

anneebrat — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 01:57:03 GMT

“Rose!”

I knew that voice. Oh how I knew it. It rocked me to sleep at night. It comforted when the nightmares came. I protected me. But not now…now it terrified me.

“Rose!”

I watched from the shadows as he knelt, as he clung to the bleeding body of my mother. Time it seemed stilled, and for a moment I swore I could feel the very universe cry out it anguish as he did.

“Save her…”

The words were but a whisper and nearly stolen away by the air before they reached my hearing. In that moment I knew that my existence meant her death. My birth singled the end of her existence. I was the reason for the screams in the night. It was me.

“Mummy?”

I don’t remember what forced me from my hiding in the shadows. Only that one moment I was there the next I was crawling from my protective sheath into the openness of the room.

“Mummy?”

He froze in the moment. As if he had to force himself to choose between us. I watched as slowly…so slowly he lowered her still form to the floor and turned towards me. I had never seen him look so…so…lost.

“I’m sorry.”

I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand. He wasn’t supposed to be like this. Defeated. Lost. Alone. This was not the man I knew. This was not my father.

“We have to leave Ella.”

Leave? No. We couldn’t leave. Not without her. He promised me. We would always be together. He promised! I wanted to scream. Shout. Yell. Cry. Anything to make him stop. But instead I simply stared and silently tears fell and mixed with the blood on the ground.

“Look at me Ella.”

I couldn’t help myself I had to look away and into the same eyes that stared out of my face. Gently…lovingly he wrapped me in his arms. Lifting me away from the shattering of my childhood and into the security of his embrace. And slowly…so very slowly he walked away.

“Mummy?”

I cried and reached behind trying to prolong the finial moments of my connection to her. Begging him to not take me away. I screamed. I kicked. I pleaded. His steps didn’t slow no matter what I did.

“She’s gone Ella.”

“Mummy?!”

“She’s gone.”

“MUMMY!”

* * * * *

Brown eyes shot open and slowly, gradually her breathing slowed as she registered the familiar hum in the back of her mind. She was safe. She was home. And that familiar dream had been lingering in her world since she was four-years-old had faded. Twelve years now it haunted her.

Oh yes she knew that dream so well.

With a heavy sigh she tossed back her blankets and swung her legs onto the floor feeling the well-known vibrations tickle there way up her body. She glanced up as the gentle glow of the walls gradually began to brighten as the TARDIS realized her awakened state.

“Morning.” She smiled as the hum in her mind greeted her happily. “Is he up?” She frowned as the hum paused for a moment then resumed but with a hint of sadness. “What’s wrong?”

Rose…

It wasn’t often that the TARDIS actually formed words in her mind, and this was one she wished it would never whisper to her. “Its today isn’t it?”

Yes

“Great.” She slumped back into bed and sighed. He would be taking them back. He always did on this day. The hum in her mind became insistent. “I know.” She reached under her pillow and pulled out the only photo she possessed of her mother. “I just wish…” She placed the photo back into its normal resting place and pulled herself out of bed. She felt the familiar jolt through the floor as the TARDIS settled into land and quickly pulled on some clothing and shoes before dashing out into the corridor. She felt the draft and smelt the salt air as she entered the control room and knew he had brought them back. She stepped out on to the sands as the wind sent her brown hair flying about.

“Bad Wolf Bay.” She brushed her hair out of her face. She caught sight of him standing just short of the crashing waves, his brown coat billowing out around him in the wind. Quietly she walked up beside him and watched as the sun slowly rose above the horizon setting the sky a fire with color. Beside her he blindly took her hand in his and together they stood in silence as the suns rays slowly advanced across the blue-green ocean.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

She nearly jumped at the sound of his voice, as it seemed to shout into the silence that had been surrounding them. “Kind of hard with your landings.” She saw a small smile etch his face. “You’d think after nine hundred plus years of travel you’d get it right.”

“Why change what works?” He smiled down at her. “You used to love it when you were little, wanted me to land hard enough to knock you off your feet every time. Your Mum would…”

She watched as his smile slowly faded away. “I Know. I remember.” She squeezed his hand. “She would give you that look, and then you’d ramble on about one thing or another…” She paused, “and your daughter apparently inherited that gene.” She reached over and took the small wooden box he clutched in his other hand, plain aside from the small rose carved into the top. “I miss her.”

“I do to, but I’m glad for one thing.” He moved his arm around her shoulders and smiled down into her brown eyes. So like her Mum… “You.” He reached his free hand over and wiped a tear from her cheek before reaching and taking the box from her.

He never had a chance to truly mourn for her, never allowed himself the luxury of the emotion, except for one day. A single day out of an endless amount of time and it was always the same. He came back here, to where he said good-bye, to where he lost part of himself, to where he allowed the emotions to surface if only for a single moment. With shaking hands he slowly opened the box and allowed Ella to reach in and take out the contents and release them into the gentle wind.

Slowly, they danced on the breeze. Light and silky they reflected their red blush in the sunlight. Gradually the petals disappeared into the blue-green waters, so simple an offering that held so heavy a meaning. It was all he had, all he could do.

A simple box of red silky petals…

A rose for his Rose…

As the last petal faded into the distance, he closed the box and took his daughter’s hand in his. As one they turned from the crashing waves and made their way back to the small blue box that was home. Once inside Ella curled up on the command chair and ran a hand through her now tangled strands of hair as her father danced around the controls sending them off into the familiar realm of the vortex.

“Now,” The Doctor turned to face his daughter. “Want to tell me what really brought you out?”

She still hadn’t figured out how her father could change moods so quickly. One moment he was ready to burst into tears remembering her mum, the next he was acting like it never happened. She swore she would never really understand him.

“I told you,” she continued to play with her hair, refusing to meet his eyes. “The landing woke me.”

He shook his head. “This from the girl who slept thorough the great San Francisco earthquake, the eruption of Mt. St. Helens, the super nova of the Sagittarian system, and the snoring of Captain Jack Harkness.” He paused in thought. “Course I still don’t understand how humans can make so much noise when they sleep, you’d think they wake themselves up or something, or at least shatter a window.” He shrugged and again changed moods. “It was something more than a landing. You haven’t willingly set foot on that bay since you were ten-years-old.”

Ella stopped playing with her hair and took a deep breath. “It was nothing really.”

The Doctor stepped forward and kneeled in front of her gently tilting her chin up to look into her eyes. “Iella,” he watched her wince at the use of her Gallifreyan name. “Something made you come to me.”

“I told you it was nothing.” She pulled away and hopped up from the chair. “I’m fine honest.” She smiled and headed down the corridor.

He watched her go and with a sigh turned to admire the center of the room. “What do you think?” He absently caressed the control panel and heard a worried hmm in his head. “Yeah.” He turned and glanced back down the corridor where Ella disappeared.

* * * * *

She had always loved this room, even before she could read, her father would bring her in here and tell her stories and read from the infinite number of books that piled on the wooden shelves. The simple seating and lighting added to the comfort of the room along with the fireplace, that as long as she could remember, had never gone out. She gently ran her fingers along the book edges as she wandered through the selection. She never really came into this room with an idea of what she wanted, she always just allowed herself to be guided to the perfect book. Her hand paused and pulled out an old leather covered book, one that she didn’t remember ever seeing in all her wanderings of the room. She settled into one of the large over stuffed chairs that she preferred and curled up with her treasure.

She flipped open to the first page and nearly dropped the book as the TARDIS sent a sudden jolt through her mind. “What?” She blinked and looked round at the glowing walls. She closed to book and the hmm descended to a more tolerable level. “Is something wrong?” She closed her eyes and concentrated on the flicker of light her father always made in her mind and found nothing to be amiss. “Is he tinkering again?” The sudden mental sigh gave her all the answer she needed. “Well give him a good jolt if he uses the mallet.”

She resettled herself into the chair and again opened the book. She felt the TARDIS again attempting to send another jolt through her mind, but quickly blocked the ship out, something she had never done in her life. “Look if he’s annoying you that much knock him on his rear and leave me alone.” She waited until the TARDIS presence had completely left her mind then turned back to the book.

She slowly read the opening passage and was quickly caught up in the nuances of the author. She was quite ready to settle in for a long read when her eyes froze at the finial line of the page.

I am Iella Nu Dedonoren in the old language. But most know me as Ella Rose Tyler.

And this is my story.

The book hit the floor with a muffled thump as Ella stared down at it in shock. “That’s not possible…” She reached down and carefully picked the book back up, opening it to the first page, only to find it blank. Ok this is just strange…and that’s saying a lot around here. She thought to herself. She closed the book and went to place it back on the self, only to find that her eyes were drawn back to the leather bound volume as soon as her hands left it.

Slowly she forced herself to step away and walk out of the library. With a deep breath she headed back to the control room where she smiled when she caught sight of her father getting knocked on his rear.

“Oi! What was that for?” He pulled himself up and turned when he heard someone giggling behind him.

“When I told her to knock you on your bum I didn’t think she’d take it literally.” Ella laughed.

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at her and sighed. “So now you’re teaming up on me?”

Ella shrugged as she ran a hand lovingly across the wall as she headed for the captains chair. “Dad, we’ve been teamed against you since I could talk to her.” Ella smiled and flopped down into the chair. “Besides its your own fault for poking and prodding the old girl so much.” Ella deftly caught the dirty rag that came flying in her direction.

“Cheeky,” The Doctor waggled a finger at her. “Reminds me of someone I can’t quite think who though.”

“You?”

“Nah, that’s impossible. I am not cheeky in the least. Nor am I ginger, but that’s beside the point. Not that I wouldn’t mind being ginger, always wanted to be in fact. I was really hoping this time I would be ginger. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah cheeky, well I think you get it from your Gran, she was always a bit full…”

Ella sighed and chuckled lightly as he disappeared under the council his voice muffled as he continued his commentary.

“Course you could have learned it from Jack, although if it is his fault I need to go and do something about that…”

Ella hopped up off the chair and slowly walked round the central column, her fingers idly caressing the controls as she hummed softly to herself.

“…Course there is still no way you could get that from me. Never been cheeky not once, rude? Yeah been rude, but never cheeky…well there was that one time…”

Ella paused as she came to the front of the control council, the very spot her mother had stood at years ago when she looked into the TARDIS. She felt something drawing her, pulling her to the spot, a voice in her mind, a song in her blood. She longingly caressed the spot and felt her mind being pulled towards it.

“Iella!”

The sound of his voice shattered the trance she had fallen into. She blinked and glanced around not remembering moving to the spot. “Wha?”

The Doctor looked at her with concern. “Didn’t you hear me?”

She shook her head, “no. Sorry, must have been daydreaming.” She gave him a shaky smile.

He walked up to her and pulled out the sonic screwdriver. “Let me just…”

She shoved his hand away. “I’m fine Dad, just more tired than I thought.”

“Your sure?” She nodded at him. “Tell you what why don’t I take us somewhere fun this time?”

“Barcelona?” She teased

He reached over and tweaked her nose. “There you see cheeky.” He gave her a gentle shove towards the corridor. “Go get some rest.”

* * * * *

She headed towards her room with the thought of a nice nap settling in her mind, but instead found herself again in the library reaching for the book. She pulled her hand back as if she had been burned and glanced around the room. “Ok, Ella get a hold of yourself.” She stepped back away from the shelves. “Nothing can get to us in the TARDIS.” She swallowed the lump in her throat as her dark eyes scanned the room, but always returning to the spot the book occupied in the mass of shelves. Without remembering she found herself suddenly in her room the book in hand and opening to the first page again.

She felt a pressure building in her mind as she again read the words that had disappeared. She fought to toss the book away but found her body unresponsive to her commands. Her eyes were guided across the written lines of their own will. She again reached the finial lines of the passage and with a sudden jolt felt her mind ripped away.

I am Iella Nu Dedonoren in the old language. But most know me as Ella Rose Tyler.

And this is my story.

She screamed.

To Be Continued…

Time Chapter One

anneebrat — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 06:28:45 GMT

This is a repost so I can get all my stuff in one spot. Check behind the

Time. A linear existence that exists from moment to moment, nothing exists outside of time. The sun will not rise or set. They planets would stop in their orbits and collapse into the sun. Life would cease to exist, and all things would simply…stop.

At least that is what we are taught. In truth, time is a knot work of lines, each existing in their own moment of space, but as a full part of the whole. If one time is touched then the effects will cascade through out the existence of all. This is the law. This is unquestionable.

There are those who exist within the patchwork of time, those who travel, who search to make right what has been turned wrong. Once many, now one stands alone against the tide. Or so he believed. So he traveled, from one side of the universe to the next, but always returning to one world in the end. Always the same, always Earth.

It was there that it began. The one who claimed the heart of the traveler. The one who became the Bad Wolf. The one who looked into the Vortex and lived. The one lost and gained again.

How do I know this story? I know it because I lived it.

I see everything that can happen, everything that will happen, and everything that has happened. I play among the time streams like a child with a ball and jack. I whisper of other worlds in my dreams and I see the void in my waking thoughts.

I am the light and the darkness. I am the truth and the lie. I am life through death. I am the Oncoming Storm. I am the Bad Wolf. I am the abomination.

I am Iella Nu Dedonoren in the old language. But most know me as Ella Rose Tyler.

And this is my story.

Doctor Who Christmas Wallpaper

anneebrat — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 02:53:58 GMT

Requested by jonjamu

House Update

anneebrat — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:03:56 GMT

Well things are going slightly better now that we are dealing with a different company. Our final numbers aree supposed to be by the end of this week and the house has been ordered. Now its just 60-90 days to move in.

Wedding...and Life

anneebrat — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:10:45 GMT

If one more thing falls on me I think I might have to kill someone.

The wedding plans are going great and I ain't stressing to much about that. In fact Lissg, Renee and I hit Portland last weekend and found the fabric for the dresses (Actually even found 'em to match my colors!) We also hit a great store we'd never been in before called Craft Warehouse (I think) and found the perfect things (In my colors!) for the table center pieces. We have the photographer boooked and the reception hall nooked. So in this department life is good.

And then...

The House is strssing me to high heaven. We found this perfect site for the house and have the paperowrk rolling to start getting it built, but (yes but-go figure) the govenment has decided that they will handle all the appreasles on land and homes. So now even though our financing is approved (Yay us!) We will have to wait for the appraisle to go thourgh before we can do anything. And if it dosen't go thourgh we get to go back in and take more out of the house we want in order to get it to what they say it is worth. In lamens terms.."You live in a poor and depressed area here you can only have a crappy house with nothing you dreamed of having even though you prooved you can afford the payments."

Gee not upset by this at all am I?

Next!

Now supposedly this was started last Friday but (yes another but) come to find out it hasn't even started yet (Kill..Kill..KILL) Lucky for all involved Todd is handling it...me I would have killed someone by now. If we end up loosing the land I will be on step beyound really mad. Again letting Todd handle this cause I am ready to blow right now.

And the final blow.

Got a call from my parents' last Saturday (while I was out shopping in Portland) and I was informed that my Grandfather passed away. We were expecting it but not this fast, doctors had said he had another year, but the cancer spread faster then they thought. So here I am in Washington State furneal is in Michigan, half the people at work are on vacation and I can't afford a ticket home anyway. So pressuer starts rising again.

Thankfully my partents called me on Wednsday and said that the graveside service isn't until the 29th and they were willing to buy my ticket if I wanted to go home. Naturally I had to clear it through work (we're supposed to get 3 days for deaths in the family) Talked to my supervisior and put in for the 28th 1st and 2nd off. Thankfully it was approved,

That was the easy part. Finding a flight that wasn't going to cost my folks a ton of money and not have me changing planes 1,000 times and getting in at 1am..that was a pain in my butt. As it is the airline has me going from PDX to LAX to DTW on the outbound flight. Comeing home its DTW to Salt Lake City, to PDX, but the flight from DTW to Salt lake was over booked and I don't even have a guarenteed seat on it, so I may end up missing my connection and not getting home on time. And me being...well...me I have yet to allow myself anytime to mourn...I'll break down when I get home.

Work has thankfully said not to worry if I get stuck somewhere. And have noted an increase in my snacking habits (Yes stress=hand to mouth syndrom)

I am currently hoping that things will settle down soon and I will no longer feel the urge to kill all realators near me..nothing personal. I feel better once I get back from the service and I can stop worring about getting there and back.

On the good side though...
Wedding plans going great!
Lissy is still trying to keep me sane.
And at long last the UK verision of "Life on Mars" has hit the US on DVD.

Till the next update on life...

Relay For Life

anneebrat — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:54:45 GMT

Well its that time of year again and we kick off our Relay tomorrow. We are still taking donations until the end of August if anyone is interested please follow the Link If you would like more information on Relay please feel free to ask.

Wallpapers and Headers

anneebrat — Mon, 11 May 2009 01:39:52 GMT

Been playing around and came up with somemore Wallpapers and Headers (Doctor Who of course) Look

HEADERS:

WALLPAPERS

LJ Layouts.

anneebrat — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 16:29:18 GMT

Dose anyone know where I can get some help, or even a volunteer to work on a layout for my LJ based off of I header I created? I've been trying to figure it out but can't seem to get it right. Help!

Header is

Fic: Home

anneebrat — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 17:50:44 GMT

Author: AnnieO
Character/Pairing: 10/Rose, OC
Rating: G
Summary:. Written for the "Hope Springs Eternal" Challenge. The Doctor reflects on what he's lost.
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Doctor Who. BBC does.
Author's Notes: Didn't go exactly the direction I wanted it to go, but at this point I'll take what my muse will toss my way. Comments are love.

“That one right there.” He pointed to, what most would have assumed, was a random star in a sky full of billions. “That’s where the best chips in the universe can be found.” He glanced over and smiles at his companion. “And I should know, been to millions of chip shops I have. I’m over nine hundred years old, I am.” His companion simply yawned in reply.

“Right. Yep, I agree, boring that. Let’s see.” He glances back up to the sky and chooses another star. “Ooooooo…the Bacloren cluster, that’s nasty place. No indoor loos. And last time I was there they tried to take my head off. Imagine that. Me. With no head…I wonder if I would run around like a chicken.” He shudders at the thought. “Lets skip that one shall we?” He cast his eyes to another point in the sky. “That’s a lovely spot,” He points to a green speck of light. “The Ocolooco Empire.” He glanced over at his companions giggle and tapped her nose with a finger. “Oi! That’s rude, no Ocolooco wickleberry jam for you.”

He watched the grin fade from her face as she arranged a perfect pout. “That’s cheating!” He flashed a pout-y face back at her. She simply reached out and grabbed his tie and started chewing on it. “That’s not dinner.” He removed said tie from her mouth. “Right you pick this time.”

He watched as she blinked her big brown eyes at him then giggled and randomly waved her hand up to the stars. He looked over to where her little fingers had pointed and suddenly felt a stab to his hearts. The chosen star was amber; it shined alone in the night sky, “Kasterborous.”

In his mind he could still hear the screams, see the faces, and remember the emptiness in his psyche as everything was ripped from him in one act…one choice. Save universe. Loose everything.

In the end there was never really a choice.

It was in that instant that he realized choice had been taken from his hands and the realization had slapped him like a steel glove across skin, cutting into his very core. Everything he had fought his entire life to get away from, to toss behind him like so much unwanted rubbish, suddenly he found himself wanting to cling to it, to protect it to the end.

The end came sooner then expected. In the guise of creatures he had the power to destroy millennia ago. This was the price for his compassion, as Arcadia was the price for his arrogance. So he teetered on the razor’s edge.

Save…Loose…

Save…Loose…

Save…

There was never a choice. Not really, though he had clung to the idea that there was, but in the end there was no choice to be made. Burn…

Then his mind was silent.

“Kasterborous.” He took a deep breath and locked the memories back into the dark depths of his consciousness, and away from the tiny spark that now inhabited the once empty space. He looked back to the woman beside him and felt his heart twinge at the sorrowful look that graced her perfect features. He had forgotten she could hear him.

“Sorry,” He cuddled her close and sent a mental flash so full of love that soon had her grinning at him again. “You would have loved it.” He lay back onto the grass and settled her onto his chest. “The sky's a burnt orange, with the Citadel enclosed in a mighty glass dome, shining under the twin suns. Beyond that, the mountains go on forever – slopes of deep red grass, capped with snow.”

Tenderly he rubbed her back as she happily chewed on his tie and snuggled into his warmth. “I grew up in the shadows of the Southern Ranges at the base on Mt. Lung near the river Cadonflood.” He grinned. “I remember always being the bane of the Cousins, never wanted to sit still at lessons, never cared about all of the nitty-gritty…” he paused at the memory and grinned, “I like that have remembered that one.” He chuckled. “I had more important things to do. Cousin Innocence swore I had the attention span of a Golbian Crex.”

“I was… the black sheep of the family in a matter of speaking, since I’m clearly not black or a sheep. I would make a funny looking sheep don’t you think?” His companion simply smiled at him in a natural form of agreement. “Soooo…anyway, I had this one little bad habit…okay maybe not one, but it was little…teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy bad habit, of well…wandering off, for say a few hours, or a couple of days, maybe a month that one time...” As he trailed off, he glanced down, and seeing her grin went on to say; “That doesn’t mean you get to wander off.”

“I learned so much by just being me. I met this Hermit you see. Lived up on the mountain, had been for as long as I could remember. The cousins told me to keep away from him, that he was unbalanced, but he showed me that their was so much more to the world, than the narrow mindedness of people too afraid of change to even begin to see.”

He gently caressed her hair as she yawned and her eyes drifted shut. “He taught me that one person could make a difference, and that change is something to embrace, not to fear. He taught me that the universe is so full of life and all of it deserved a chance to grow.” He closed his eyes. “He taught me that the choices we make are not always the ones we want. He’s gone now, like all the others.”

He sighed. “I spent my whole life trying to runaway from everything Gallifrey was, and now all I want is to see the second sun rising in the south, and the mountains shining. To see the leaves on the silver trees, and watch them catch the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. To feel the breeze blow and listen to it sore through the branches like a song.” He could hear the soft fall of footsteps behind him, but he kept his eyes closed and concentrated on the images in his mind. “What I would do, to just go home one last time.”

He heard the footfalls stop beside him and the sound of cloth against cloth as she settled on the grass next to him. He sighed as a hand brushed through his hair and another settled over his own hands resting on his chest.

“Would you?”

He opened his eyes and looked at the one beside him. “Would I what?”

“Go home…if you could?”

There was a pause of contemplative silence. He glanced down at the trusting one sleeping on his chest and then back again to the woman bedside him. “Come ‘ere.” He moved one arm and wrapped it around her as she settled beside him in the grass. “You see that” He pointed to the single blue star in the sky.

“Yeah, that’s where Earth is right?”

He nodded. “Would you go home?” He looked into her brown eyes.

She smiled and tenderly touched his cheek. “I am home.”

He stroked his daughter’s back as he pulled Rose closer. “So am I.”

Christmas Icons

anneebrat — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 00:41:48 GMT

Just a few Christmas Icons I managed to get done.

Icons, Headers, and Wallpapers Oh My! Part Two

anneebrat — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:20:12 GMT

Part 2 of my graphica post, this one you will find the headers and wallpapers. Please credit if you use, comments are love, and saddly I don't own Doctor Who, if I did Rose would never have had a doomsday.

Headers

WallPapers

Icons, headers, and wallpapers Oh My! Part 1

anneebrat — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 13:53:32 GMT

So messa been a busy girl and got a ton of icons and a few headers and wallpapers finished. I had to actually break this into 2 posts. Please credit if you take, comments are love, blanks are not bases. My source list is still under construction but can be found here

Please follow the crumbs to find the

1-17 Ninth Doctor
18-27 Ninth Doctor and Rose
28-37 Donna
38-40 Captain Jack
41-64 Tenth Doctor
65-85 Tenth Doctor and Rose
86-111 Rose
112-119 Mixed bag

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Created with angelamaria's Icon Table Generator @ Bauble

My current resource list

anneebrat — Sun, 11 May 2008 19:09:56 GMT

She's back!

anneebrat — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 07:22:33 GMT

At long last after the great "My computer went boom!" issue, I am now nearly 100% back online. Got my files transfered and currently loading on all my programs...although I ain't got a clue where my photoshop 7 CD went to (Damn it!) Now its down to tweeking the new system and setting stuff up the way I like (Although I love the setting/document transfer optiona) So I soon hope to be writting, making CDs, and playing with photoshop (Where is that damn CD) Missed ya guys!

anneebrat — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:21:16 GMT

Yes yet another fanmix....rather wich my muse would get back to writting....anyway...its 10/Rose and as always comments are love.

music and image files found here

The Front cover

The Back Cover

Lyrics:

One Step Closer: Bon Jovi:
I've seen the heart of darkness,
Let just say, I crossed over that line,
Held hands with the hopeless,
In too deep,on that ride, went around one more time,
When you're standing on the edge,
You don't look down,
Till you ready and willing to fly,

Now I'm, one step closer,
With my arms open wide,
Yeah, I'm one step closer,
And I'm willing to try this time,

You: Rascal Flates
Every time I get lost
In a temperamental mood
You still stay cool
Just when I think that this
Life's about to drive me insane
You take the reins
Every time I feel I'm drifting off course
You're my compass, you're my one true north
In a mixed up world
You make sense to me girl

Every road that I've been down
The only truth that I have found
There's only one thing I can't live without,
You

Desire: Ryan Adams

Two hearts fading, like a flower
And all this waiting, for the power,
For some answers, to this fire
Sinking slowly, the waters higher...mmm

Desire
Desire

This Way: Jewel
Say that you'll stay forever this way
Forever and forever
That we'll never have to change
Don't move, don't breathe
Don't change, don't leave
And promise me
Say you'll stay
Oh, we'll stay
This way

I get afraid
I don't think ahead
Let's just stay this way in bed
Feels so good inside your arms
Home is everywhere that you are

Because You Loved Me; Jo Dee Messina
And now that you're in my life
Oh, I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me

To Where You Are: Chloe
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
’cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

This Day: Courtney Jaye
There's still a little sand inside of my shoes
I leave it there to keep me close to you
There's a whole other world inside me now
Full of words you can't hear
But the power of how I really feel
Is pulling you near

Its a vibration
There's no separation
We're one and the same
I don't have to be afraid
If you feel it
You might as well reveal it
Cause this is the day
Tomorrow could all be taken away

Do What You Have To: Sarah McLachlen
What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rule of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has let you through it
You do what you have to do

I have the sense to recognize
That I don't know how to let you go

Forgiven: WIthin Temptation
I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you?
Why did fate deceive me?
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven

Close Your eyes: Sasha & Shawna

1000 Miles Away: Jewel
It's morning time, wonder where you are
wonder who you're talking to
wonder if the sun has risen where you are
it's morning time, i miss your hands on my skin
this bed's too big without you
oh god, what do i do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and I'm lying next to you.

The sun shines golden, and I feel like my car
a little run down, a little beat up, maybe just a little green
maybe it's my battery, maybe it's my starter,
maybe my heart's too weak
there's just this feeling, thought I had to get going
got too scary, got too big, got to get out of here
but now i don't know how to get home.
oh god, what do I do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and lying next to you.

Winters End: Tiffany

The way I feel I cannot say
[these lyrics are found on http://www.songlyrics.com]
I never expected things to change
I will always love you
And I would always feel this way
And how I long to see your face

You're sleeping
I'm calling
But you're not around
The treetops
Are glowing
And there's leaves on the ground

Lost: Little Big Town
I don't know who I am
Staring at a million broken pieces here
I don't know where I stand
While I'm still, the world goes round so free and cavalier
Aimlessly I wander, Like a drifter on a narrow winding road
I've got plenty of direction but I don't know where to go

I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself

Storm: Lifehouse
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

DW Icons/headers (Wth some Torchwood tossed in)

anneebrat — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:58:38 GMT

Yes alright I admit it I've been playing in Photoshop a lot lately, and at last figured some stuff out! If you take please credit, do not hotlink to the images. My resource page is under construction...and I great big thanks to Icon Tutorial for the help!
Torchwood: 6
Rose: 10
Nine: 3
Ten: 4
Nine/Rose: 5
Ten Rose: 10
Nine/Ten/Rose: 2
Headers: 11

Icons:

Torchwood

Rose

Nine

Ten

Nine/Rose

Ten/Rose

Nine/Ten/Rose

Headers

These I made for my current fic that I am working on, comments are love, and suggestions are even better

Doctor Who Fanmix

anneebrat — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:42:34 GMT

My third attempt at a fanmix, it's 10/Rose and I know the art work is not that good, but its only my fourth attempt at actually combining images.

The Front Art....
Zip file found here

The back Art....

Icons

anneebrat — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 04:05:02 GMT

Well here it is ladies and gents, my first posting of some icons I've been slaving over for a bit now. Still battling it out with photoshop and how to do stuff so please any comments are welcome. I know these are not near as good as what has been posted before, but I thought I would give it a shot.

Thanks for looking!

They tried to blow us off the map....

anneebrat — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:10:16 GMT

Yes, we are still alive, MAtt, Lissy, and I are all fine and currently residing at my place (Matt and Lissy have no power, water or anything.) None of us have gotten into work since Monday and hopefully we will be able to get through to town tomorrow.

High winds and lots and lots of rain hit us late Sunday night and continued well into yesterday with gusts up to 100mph. Montesano was lucky in the fact that we are above the flood line. Seattle and several other areas were hit harder then us.

Thank you to those of you that dropped us emails (Finially got the comoputer back last night). Please keep those we lost everything in the floods in your thoughts and pray that this is the tail end of it thats sweeping across us now.

Oh and if anyone has a ark their not using...feel like a loan?

Trying my hand at images now

anneebrat — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 05:55:24 GMT

Well I think I am getting the hang of this now, course it helps I found a program that actually lets me do what I want. Anyway opnions are welcome these are the first two I tried (For my monster of a fic) and just wanted to see if I'm heading in the right direction or not.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

anneebrat — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 00:18:30 GMT

Yes! After a very long year I officially graduated with my certificate of Completion in the Medical Assisting Program. I will be receiving my ATA in Medical Assisting next spring after I take my two remaining classes (Which only run spring quarter). Tomorrow I start my externship and should be done with that by end of July first part of August. Keep your fingers crossed that I will be back to work by September (At this point I don’t care where I get a job so long as I get a paycheck)

I did manage to graduate Phi Theta Kappa and National Deans List. As of now the future is going to be competing my finial classes next spring, and once I have the money taking the national exam to get my credentials for CMA. Right now the important thing is getting back to work (Which I actually miss doing…strange) I need to get back into good finical footing then I can feel like I’m actually accomplishing something.

I need to send thanks out to a few people who have been busy pushing me and putting up with my bouts of depression when things got tight. So Lissy, Matt, Triv, Alyce, Kat, and so many others that have kicked me in the butt when I needed it, please don’t stop now, cause ya know me I need a good kick every now and then. J

I will update again to let you know how the externship is gong and the job search as well. Please keep your fingers crossed…but for the first time in a long time things are looking bright!!

Love each and everyone of you!

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