Post Breakup

So I'm not having a hard time with leaving Daniel. Granted, it hasn't been a week even, but I feel all right. Mainly because he's pissed me off so much these past four days that I can't stand the thought of him right now. He's been so insanely frustrating and caused drama with Blake and I'm just done right now. I've had to tell him multiple times daily that I don't want to talk to him and he still will do it.

Finally, yesterday was the last straw with the Blake drama so I was like for real, 100% do not talk to me. I am through. He hasn't. Though he has posted statuses that I know are directed at me. I had deleted him, hoping it would stop him from being able to fb message me but it didn't work and he guilted me into friending him back. I also haven't put my relationship status as single to the public yet. I know everyone's going to freak out about it and I feel like it's attention whoring, which isn't my intention at all. I almost did yesterday though, just to be vindictive and mean because I was so mad at Daniel. Trying to take the high road...

The hardest part of this is doing things alone. I mean, I don't mind spending an afternoon alone, but just like dinner, going out, Netflix bingeing, sleeping; all alone. I always thought people who serial dated were weak and dependent but I kind of see where they're coming from. It's hard to not have company. I don't feel like I needsomeone but just having someone around all the time to talk to and do things with is so nice.

Which is what makes talking to Blake and staying neutral so hard. Well, we're not totally neutral....we've made out and then some...mom and dad are gone on vacation starting tomorrow so hopefully we'll get some sexy time. ^.^ but anyway, it's hard not to want to push him to hang out and stuff. I want to because it's habit. Not because necessarily I need or want a boyfriend but that habit of having someone around to talk to or cuddle with while we watch tv. I need to talk him into spending the night so I can sleep with someone. *sigh*

But yeah, I'm feeling good. Just lonely. I have a few friends but they all have crazy schedules and I work all the time so it's hard. And I'm sick of my family. I don't want to socialize. I just wish I could move out and live on my own. :/