There's this certain moment im the mornings, when my alarm goes off and I'm just gaining consciousness that I just get super vulnerable and all I can think is, this is my life. Working for shit, being alone. Every day, day after day, for months, years. And the prospect of finding someone else is just impossible and getting another job is impossible and I feel like my existence is futile. Bangor holds nothing for me. Limited circle of men and jobs. I need to move but can't.

Also, real thing: finding an attractive guy that holds the same interests as I do. Like, I'm cosplaying in June. I enjoy reading more than anything else. I love movies, tv shows, and playing video games. I am a suuuuuuuper nerd. Like I am obsessed with Doctor Who, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and more. I also like to workout, eat well, spend time outside, etc. Finding someone on the same level as me on more than one front is nigh impossible.

I miss Daniel. He was pretty much all of these things and if he wasn't, he supported me anyway, no matter what. Sigh.

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