...melancholy and cool, kind of bittersweet...

Whoa.

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 01:48:35 GMT

I have not been on here in almost two years. That makes me a little sad. I'm still alive, in case anyone was wondering.

If you're interested...

angst_driven — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:48:56 GMT

...I'm in an icon making mood once again. I've been working on some of Jonathan Bennett, as well as a few Monkees. If you have any specific requests this wouldn't be a bad time to mention them. *hint hint* I might even be up for making some other graphics...

Specific requests can be made HERE at graphic_musings.

Get your Casey fic here!

angst_driven — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:27:17 GMT

Because they seem to be few and far between, I figured there ought to be a master list of all Casey Gant fanfics. And I thought I might just be the girl to make it. ; )

"Have you forgotten who you're talking to? I'm Casey Gant, okay? I wrote the jackass Bible, the jackass Koran, the jackass Talmud."

Anticipation by afrocurl(Implied Casey/Veronica) PG-13 He tried to forget, but only ended up a dollar short.

Let's Get Stupid! by afrocurl(Casey, Dick, Logan, Veronica; various implied ships.) R Goes very AU from the beginning of One Angry Veronica. Who knew planning a party involved this much drama?

Nice To Meet You Anyway by amathela(Casey/Veronica) PG-13 Trust doesn't come that easily.

Twelve Days of Veronica (A Dirty Dozen): Eight Reasons by angel_grace(Casey/Veronica) PG The summer after her freshman year at Hearst, Veronica runs into an old acquaintance.

Every Time I Think of You
by angst_driven(Casey/Veronica) PG-13 Veronica's new boyfriend is perfect except for one thing - he's not Logan. Part 4 of Anthology series, but also works as a stand-alone.

First and Last by angst_driven(Casey/Veronica) PG Life in Neptune from Casey Gant's perspective.

Opportunity by angst_driven(Casey/Veronica) NC-17 Casey Gant seizes an opportunity. Prequel to Anthology

Between Holding On and Letting Go by brandee_06(Casey/Veronica) PG Oneshot scene. He's still smiling at her, so sure of his feelings and she can't help but wonder how people can just feel without question.

Each Day is a Memory
by brandee_06(Veronica, Troy, Wallace, Weevil, Casey, Duncan mentions of Logan/Veronica) PG Three men Veroncia never dated and two she'll never date again.

One Hundred Days by brandee_06(Casey/Mac) PG-13 It takes them One Hundred days to get to where they're at now... He thinks it's all been worth it...

Pale Grew Thy Cheek and Cold, Colder Thy Kiss by Catheryne (Casey, Logan/Veronica) R WARNING: Not really Casey-friendly, so you might want to skip it if you love him as much as I do...

Grave Feelings by halfway2home(Casey/Veronica, Logan/Veronica) PG Veronica runs into a familiar face at Cassidy’s grave.

Hurricane Season by halfway2home(Casey/Veronica) PG "If people were finding it hard not to notice that he was slowly befriending Veronica and were teasing him about it, Casey really only had himself to blame for it.” Then read Heat Wave and Interlude

No Such Thing by halfway2home(Casey/Lilly) PG-13 “That’s when he knows that she’ll be the end of him.”

This Boy by halfway2home(Casey, some Casey/Veronica and Logan/Veronica) PG-13 “One day, all this will be yours. Just yours.”

Going Greek and Going Out by herowlness(Casey/Veronica) PG-13

Having Fun by herowlnessPG-13 Missing scene from 210, One Angry Veronica. An old friend shows Veronica how to have fun again.

Trial and Error by herowlness(Casey/Veronica) PG Casey/Veronica, the new car, poinsettia, trial and error.

Setting up For a Fall by misa_05(Casey/Carrie) NC-17 First Season. Takes place between Mars Vs Mars and Ruskie Business. You’d like to believe that you knew where this was going to go after the first time you pulled him into a mop closet between sixth and seventh period, but in reality you have no clue what you are doing.

Reprogramming Casey Gant by rejeneration(Casey) R Casey Gant is missing time... Season 1, just after 1.09 - Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Silver and Cold by wily_one24(Casey/Veronica, Logan/Veronica) NC-17 The introduction of an old friend causes further complications in the already over complicated couple we love so much.

Please point me in the direction of any I've missed!

Ugh.

angst_driven — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 15:26:14 GMT

I need to work on my thesis. Do you hear me? NEED TO!

So of course I wake up with an idea for a crack-tastic little fic that my mind insists must be written.

My muse is a traitor.

I will try to suppress...

Anthology, Part V, Chapter 14

angst_driven — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 01:12:56 GMT

V. Head First

Summary: Our foursome does some thinking about what these new revelations mean to their lives…
Categories: Veronica, Logan
Genre: Angst, Drama, General, Mystery, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Logan, Veronica

Author's Notes: Big thanks to pegm81484for beta-ing this chapter. I can’t believe I haven’t updated since September! I hope you don’t hate me too much. Don’t know when the next chapter will be done. My thesis is due in July. Whether that means I’ll be too busy to work on this or that I’ll be doing more fic writing as a means of avoidance remains to be seen…

Disclaimer: Most of the characters and locations don't belong to me (although they did give birth to mine!)

( Chapter 14 - Redefining )

The tension between the four occupants in the room was palpable.

*****

Angelica wasn’t thinking very clearly. Thoughts were running wild through her head, going off on tangents until she thought she might possibly go insane.

(I have a dad.)

Well, she had always had a dad – she’d just never known who he was.

But now she did.

Logan Echolls. Her mother’s savior. The hero of her childhood fantasies.

Her mother hadn’t been lying when she’d told her he was her father. That was good to know. Plus, now Angelica could understand why her mother had been so vehement about staying away from the Echolls men.

Ew. It was possible that she had just been making out with her brother.

But, if what everyone else was saying was true, it would seem he wasn’t really Logan’s son after all. Angelica replayed the night’s events over in her mind, skipping over the uncomfortable discovery of her mother and father in a rather compromising situation. That, as far as she was concerned, was better off forgotten.

Focusing instead on the bits of information she had gathered throughout the night, Angelica managed to piece together the important points that had influenced all their lives.

Unbeknownst to everyone else, her mom and Logan Echolls had reunited for a brief time.

They had broken up because Logan believed Parker, Stephen’s mom, was pregnant with his child and he had wanted to do the right thing.

After Logan and Parker were married, Veronica found out that she too was pregnant. Angelica was certain her mother would have been torn between ruining Logan’s marriage and depriving her own child of a father.

She must have run into Eli at that point and confided her problem to him. And he had offered her a solution. Barring one fatal motorcycle accident, Angelica’s story could have ended there. Sure, she would have been the daughter of two of Neptune’s social outcasts, but she suspected she would have been happy none-the-less. Not for the first time, Angelica wished she could have met her supposed father.

The life her mother and she had ended up with hadn’t been so bad, though. She might not have had an official father, but she’d had Grandpa Keith and Casey and a whole slew of ‘honorary’ uncles to look out for them. She shouldn’t complain.

Steven on the other hand…

Angelica stole a sideways glance at Stephen. She had never seen him looking so lost. Not that day in Clemmons’ office. Not at the party on the beach, when she’d teased him about his shoes and he’d blushed, just a little bit, in the most adorable way. Her heart went out to him.

What could his mother have been thinking? Did she have any clue how many lives she had screwed up with her little secret? Life without a father hadn’t been perfect, but at least Angelica hadn’t had the perfect one only to find out he was never really hers in the first place. She wondered how long Stephen had lived with that secret, just to keep his parents from being hurt…

Although it seemed like Logan had known for awhile now and he didn’t seem to be going anywhere. She watched her father as he dragged his fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration that Angelica had become accustomed to seeing from Stephen. Now that she had a chance to study them together she noticed quite a number of similar behaviors.

(Like father, like son.)

Angelica smiled at the irony of her thoughts, reaching over to take Stephen’s hand in a show of support.

*****

Stephen sat, shoulders hunched, on the edge of the couch cushion. His mind was having trouble processing what he had overheard. He knew. His dad knew. All these months, years even, of trying to protect him, to keep him from finding out that he wasn’t his biological father, and he had already known. That little bit of information was mind-boggling enough. Add in the fact that he had been on the phone with his mother when she died? Well, no wonder his father had been acting so strange lately. Stephen wasn’t sure how to act himself.

Logan Echolls had never been the perfect father, but Stephen didn’t have any complaints. He’d had a great childhood, and though he’d known his parents hadn’t been the happily married couple they pretended to be, they’d never had a negative word to say about each other in front of him. And they’d treated him like the most important thing in their world.

Stephen could feel the tears threatening; tears for his lost mother, tears for his hurting father, and tears of self-pity. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. The feel of fingers wrapping around his own brought his gaze up to meet Angelica’s worried face. She offered him a reassuring smile, but he just shrugged unable to respond in kind. He’d put off these emotions for too long; try as he might he couldn’t shove them back down again.

He just wished someone would say something already…

*****

Veronica sat stiffly in the over-stuffed chair, studying the other occupants of the room warily. Angelica was curled up on the sofa, close to, but not quite touching, Stephen. She seemed to be handling the news of her paternity well, but then you couldn’t always tell what might be going through Angelica’s head. She was studiously avoiding meeting her mother’s eyes. Instead her attention was focused primarily on the boy next to her, although she spared an occasional, curious glance at her father as he paced nervously around the room.

(Angelica’s father. How weird is that?)

Veronica turned her observations to Logan as the path he was wearing into the carpet brought him nearer and then away from her again. Her heart warmed as she took in his wrinkled shirt and bed-tousled hair. She couldn’t believe they were getting another chance. She had never even allowed herself to hope that this could happen. And now just a few hours ago…

The lost little boy look on Logan’s face brought her back to the matters at hand. She caught his eye, sending him a tiny, reassuring smile. He returned it half-heartedly before turning and pacing off in the other direction, his fingers running through his already displaced hair.

A movement across the room brought Veronica’s attention back to the boy seated next to her daughter. She watched as he unconsciously mimicked his father’s actions, causing his hair to stand up in a similar manner. Veronica studied him for a moment and was surprised to see that that was where the similarities ended. She realized that she had never looked closely at Stephen before. She must have been avoiding him, she reasoned, as a form of self-preservation. She hadn’t wanted to see any traces of Logan in him; no physical reminders of Logan and Parker’s relationship.

Now she scrutinized his face, looking for clues like the private investigator that she was. His hair seemed lighter now than when she had first seen him; the light brown that had once matched his father’s shade now bleached to a sandy blond. Blue eyes. Presumably inherited from his mother, but now who really knew?

(Not Logan. That’s for sure.)

Veronica was startled to realize that as she studied the boy his resemblance to his mother became more pronounced. The ghost of her old friend was there in his face. The feelings of resentment and jealousy she had been harboring for Parker began to fade, replaced with a sense of sadness and loss.

“She helped save me from a rapist,” she heard herself blurting out. All eyes turned to her, but Veronica directed her words towards the distraught boy sitting across from her. “Your mother. In college. I didn’t know if you knew, but I guess I thought you should…”

Stephen shot a startled look at his father before replying, “No. I didn’t know that.”

“It wasn’t really something she liked to talk about…” Logan mumbled defensively.

Veronica nodded, understanding her reluctance perfectly. Logan came to sit on the arm of her chair, slipping his hand into hers in a show of support. She squeezed it gratefully before continuing. “She was really brave, your mom…and fun, so much fun.”

“You were almost raped?” Veronica winced at her daughter’s startled question. Parker hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t liked to talk about it. She shot Angelica a look, silently pleading with her to save this topic for another time. Her daughter frowned unhappily, but held her tongue.

Veronica let go of Logan’s hand, pushing herself up to her feet. She crossed the room to offer her hand to Stephen. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced,” she explained with a smile as he stared blankly at it. “I’m Veronica, Angelica’s mother.”

*****

Logan watched as Stephen slowly reached out to take Veronica’s hand.

“Stephen.” His son’s voice was rough as he introduced himself. With a glance at the girl next to him he added, “Angelica’s boyfriend.”

“That might be a problem.” Logan’s declaration brought three pairs of eyes to him. He went to stand next to Veronica, facing Angelica with a self-conscious grin. “I don’t know if I can have my son dating my daughter.”

Angelica turned to look at Veronica questioningly. “So it’s true, then? He really is my father?” At her mother’s nod the girl turned back to Logan. “So…Dad?”

A series of emotions played across Angelica’s face. Logan struggled to recognize some of them: curiosity, relief, happiness…but mostly he saw confusion. He could completely relate to that feeling right now.

“I guess I don’t really know what to do with that.” Angelica laughed nervously. “I’ve never really had a father before…I mean there was Piz, but I don’t really remember him. And there was Casey, but he never actually lived with us. And he’s gone now anyway…” She bit her lip as her voice trailed off nervously.

“That’s okay,” Logan offered helpfully, “I’ve never actually had a daughter before.” He grinned encouragingly. “And I’m not going anywhere, so I guess we’ll have time to figure it out together.”

“All four of us.” Veronica’s words held a tone of warning, bringing Logan’s attention to the other people in the room. His son’s expression, full of anguish, tugged at his heart.

“Right. All four of us. I don’t care what anyone says,” he told Stephen forcefully, kneeling in front of him. “You are my son. Nothing can change that. You know that right?”

Stephen’s shrug shot a stab of pain through Logan’s chest.

“I mean it,” his tone commanded his son’s attention. “I’ve already talked to my lawyers. I just can’t believe that your mother…” Logan’s voice trailed off, still unwilling to bad-mouth Parker in front of her son.

“I don’t think she knew.” Stephen’s admission took Logan by surprise. “Not at first, anyway.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She seemed as surprised as you.” Stephen attempted to explain. “It was after we did our blood-typing in Biology, back during freshman year. She made me ask Dr. Calvin to redo the test. She said it had to be a mistake. But the results were the same. She was pretty freaked out. She made me promise not to tell you about it…” His voice trailed off nervously.

“Not to tell me?!” It was just too much. Logan felt like his head was going to explode. He squeezed his eyes closed, his hands knotting into fists as he fought the urge to punch something, anything.

He felt a light touch on his arm and he opened his eyes to find Veronica staring at him with concern.

“You’re scaring the children,” she quipped, but Logan could see the concern in her eyes. Beyond her he could see two pairs of wide eyes staring at him in shock. With a deep breath he attempted to reign in his temper.

“You know what?” Veronica announced brightly. “I think we could all use a break.”

Three pairs of eyes swung to her skeptically, and she sighed loudly. “Come on, isn’t anyone else hungry?” She smiled, encouraged by their half-hearted assents. “How ‘bout a change of scenery? We’ll stop and pick up a couple pizzas and reconvene at our place, okay?”

As the teens headed out, Logan grabbed Veronica, giving her a quick kiss. “Thanks.”

She smiled up at him affectionately. “No problem. I just thought we should save the break downs for later. Like, when the kiddies are in bed.”

Logan perked up visibly. “Speaking of beds…”

Veronica shook her head as she moved to follow Stephen and Angelica. “Down boy! We’ll discuss sleeping arrangements after you’ve fed me.”

Logan followed, allowing himself, at least for the moment, to be distracted from his late wife’s indiscretions by the possibility of a night spent once again in Veronica’s arms.

Previous Chapters

First and Last - Chapter 7 (The End)

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 05:39:28 GMT

The seventh and final chapter of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment.

Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2017

Casey knocked on the door out of habit before letting himself in. “Veronica?” He called out in the empty foyer. “I’m home.”

He headed towards the back of the house, calling out to Veronica and Jayson but getting no answer. Casey was starting to get a bit worried when he finally spied Veronica through the window, sitting by the pool.

Sliding the glass door open, he stepped out on to the patio. “There you are,” he smiled at her, for the first time noticing the bottle of wine and wineglasses that rested at her elbow. “Where’s Jayson?”

“I asked my dad to come and get him.” Casey watched as her fingers tugged nervously at the hem of her shorts. “They’re going to a movie. They won’t be back for a couple of hours. I hope that’s okay?”

“That’s fine,” Casey answered slowly. “What’s up, Veronica? Is something wrong?” He nodded towards the wine bottle. “Are you expecting someone? You know, if you didn’t want to pick Jayson up for me you could’ve just said so.”

“No, that’s not it.” Veronica made a frustrated sound, reaching out to take his hand. “Could you just sit down for a minute? You’re so freaking tall…” Her voice trailed off nervously as Casey sat down next to her, eyeing her warily.

She busied herself, filling the glasses of wine. Casey reached over, taking them from her hands and setting them aside, willing her to look at him. “What is it? Just tell me, Veronica.”

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” she murmured softly, finally meeting his eyes. What he saw there caused him to catch his breath. Casey nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she said eventually, “that first day…when I was leaving your house.”

“You want to go to the zoo?” His question had the desired effect. She rolled her eyes at him, her anxiety subsiding a bit.

“No,” she scowled at him, “about us being friends.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to be friends anymore,” Casey deadpanned.

“I’m saying,” she said nervously, “that I think I’d like to be more than friends.”

Casey let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, a huge grin spreading across his face. “I think I’d like that too.”

An answering smile spread across Veronica’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He leaned forward, angling in for a kiss. “You’re sure?”

She nodded quickly, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. “Let’s take it slow.”

Casey laughed softly. “I don’t know if we can go much slower than eighteen years between kisses,” he murmured before capturing her mouth with his. Her lips were just as soft and sweet as he remembered, and he took his time getting reacquainted with them.

“What?” Veronica asked, studying him carefully as he reluctantly broke their kiss.

Casey couldn’t stop the silly grin from spreading across his face. “Strawberry lipgloss,” he sighed happily, then leaned down for another taste.

END

All Chapters Here

First and Last - Chapter 6

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 05:01:20 GMT

Chapter six of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment.

Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2016

It was unseasonably cold, and Casey turned up the collar on his jacket in an attempt to block out the cool breeze that swept across the open cemetery. He knelt down next to his grandmother’s headstone, wiping it free of grass clippings with a gloved hand.

“Brought something for you Grandma,” Casey murmured softly. Peeling his gloves off, he reached into his inside pocket to pull out a book.

“It’s an advanced reader’s copy, even,” he wiggled his eyebrows conspiratorially. “I don’t give these out to just anyone, you know.” Sighing he sat down, leaning back against the monument as he flipped absently through the pages. “I hope you’re not too disappointed that I decided to pursue writing instead of publishing. You never know, though; I might want to become more active in the business later on.”

“For now I’m enjoying the benefits of working from home,” he grinned, pulling a photo from between the pages of the book. Casey studied the boy in the picture, who smiled up at him with his mother’s blue eyes, his father’s thick dark hair, and a gap-toothed smile that was all his own. “You remember Jayson…your grandson.”

“Who you talkin’ to?”

Startled, Casey looked up at his son. “I thought you were waiting in the car?” Automatically he reached out to zip the boy’s coat up, pulling the zipper all the way up to his chin. He looked over towards the limo, waving the chauffeur back.

“I got bored,” Jayson squirmed under his father’s attentions, “so I came out here wif you. Who’re you talkin’ to?”

“Your great-grandmother,” Casey pulled his son down onto his lap, shielding him from the wind.

“But she’s dead.”

Casey nodded, wincing slightly at his son’s bluntness. The boy’s eyebrows drew together as he thought this over. Finally he looked up. “Can she hear you?”

Casey shrugged. “I don’t know, Sport.”

“Then what are you talkin’ to her for?” Jayson wiggled out of his father’s arms, going over to pick the book up from where it lay on the ground.

“Because I miss her,” Casey answered honestly, “and it makes me feel better.”

The boy nodded, apparently satisfied with the answer. He held up the novel and the photo. “Are these for Great Gramma?”

Casey nodded again, patiently.

“What’s she gonna do wif ‘em if she’s dead?”

Casey chuckled, getting to his feet and brushing the grass from his pants. “You know what, Sport? You sure ask a lot of questions.” He took the book and the photo from his son’s hands, slipping the picture back between the pages, and set them both down in front of the grave. “Say goodbye to your great grandma.”

“G’bye, Gramma.”

Jayson tucked his hand into his father’s, filling Casey with a warm, fuzzy feeling. They were headed back towards the limo when Casey spied a familiar figure. With a slight tug, he changed their course, heading towards his old friend.

“Veronica?”

She turned to face them, her face streaked with tears. “Casey?” She shivered as the breeze picked up, whipping her hair about. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just paying my respects to my grandmother.” He moved closer to block the wind and his actions brought him closer to the grave marker. His eyes widened in shock as he read the name engraved there. “Logan?”

Her quiet sob had him cringing inwardly at his callousness. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When? How? I…” Casey trailed off helplessly.

Veronica smiled sadly. “A year ago today, actually. It was all very sudden…” Her voice trailed off as the tears began again, and she scrambled for her pockets, searching for a tissue.

Casey beat her to it, taking one from his own pocket and holding it out to her. She took it with a grateful smile.

“Who’s that, Daddy?” During their exchange, Jayson had fallen back behind Casey to peer shyly around his legs.

Grateful for the distraction, Casey drew his son in front of him, a hand resting on each of his shoulders. “This is my friend Veronica.” He smiled at her surprised expression. “Veronica, this is my son, Jayson.”

“Nice to meet you, Jayson.” She tucked the tissue into her pocket before offering her hand to the boy.

Jayson looked up at his father questioningly. At his nod he stepped forward to take her hand cautiously. “Hi.”

Veronica looked up at Casey, squinting slightly in the sunlight. “He looks just like you.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, as Jayson moved off to inspect the nearby monuments, “except for the eyes. He’s got his mother’s eyes.”

“Where is his mother?” Veronica glanced around as if she might find her hiding among the gravestones.

“Not here.” Casey shook his head, drawing her attention back to him. “Haven’t actually heard from her since she checked out of rehab. I’m sure she’ll be showing up soon, though. She’s got to be running low on funds.”

“Oh,” Veronica mumbled, at an uncharacteristic loss of words.

“Don’t worry about it Veronica,” he said stepping closer to lay a hand on her shoulder. “We’re doing just fine without her. But how about you? Are you doing okay?”

“Yes.” Her smile crumbled slightly. “No. I don’t know…”

Casey drew her in for a hug as her tears started anew. He held her until she stopped shaking.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled taking the new tissue he offered. “I thought I was doing better. I guess it’s just with the anniversary of…” She sniffled slightly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Casey smiled down at her, taking a step back to give her some space.

“What’sa matter with her?” The whispered question was accompanied by a tug on Casey’s sleeve.

“She’s sad,” Casey explained with an apologetic look at Veronica, “because she misses her husband.”

“Is he dead too?” Casey’s eyes widened in horror at his son’s forthright question, but Veronica seemed to take it in stride.

She knelt down, putting herself at Jayson’s level. “Yes,” she said solemnly. “His name was Logan, and he died last year. And I miss him very, very much.”

Casey watched as his son nodded, processing this information. Then Jayson surprised his father by wrapping his small arms around Veronica in a brief hug. The boy stepped back, staring down at his shoes. Veronica stared at him, her lip caught between her teeth and a stunned look on her face.

“Veronica,” Casey said, attempting to alleviate the awkward silence, “Jayson and I were going to head home for some hot cocoa. We’d love it if you could join us.”

She was going to say no; he could almost hear the excuses as they ran through her head. “Come on,” he coaxed, breaking out his most charming smile.

She opened her mouth to refuse but was interrupted by Jayson’s earnest plea. “Please? Our cook makes the best hot chocolate!”

Veronica remained silent for a moment, looking back and forth between them. “Well, crap,” she sighed, earning a delighted grin from Jayson for her choice of words. “How am I supposed to refuse two of those smiles?” She smiled back crookedly. “I guess you better give me directions to your house then.”

*****

Casey sipped at his cocoa, watching Veronica over the rim of the mug. A quiet had fallen over them after Jayson had finished his treat and left the table. He felt like he should say something but, truthfully, he was just enjoying the companionship. Words weren’t necessary. It had a very familiar feel to it.

“He’s adorable.” Veronica spoke finally. Her attention was focused on Jayson, who was splayed on the living room carpet, assembling an impressive wooden railway system. “I didn’t even know…how old is he?”

“Four and a half,” Casey smiled affectionately. They had been diligently avoiding the topic of Logan and his untimely death, but here was a subject he felt comfortable talking about. “Kim showed up on my doorstep about two weeks after Jayson was born. She informed me I was his father and demanded I start paying her child support.” He frowned, remembering the moment. “She was in rough shape, not fit to raise a child, and I was looking to do something more with my life. I made her an alternative offer. In exchange for a generous sum, she gave me full custody of Jayson, and a promise to check into rehab.”

“She never bothered to contact you before that?” Veronica frowned suspiciously.

“We never really had that close of a relationship,” Casey explained sheepishly, turning to watch his son so he wouldn’t have to meet his friend’s eyes. “She probably wasn’t sure who the father was; just took one look at all that dark hair and decided I was her best option.”

“You did have a paternity test done, right?” Veronica sounded skeptical.

Casey sighed, tiredly. “The truth is, Veronica, I wasn’t just Kim’s best option. I was pretty much her only option. She didn’t hang with a nice crowd. The way I saw it, I was the only chance Jayson had for a decent life, so I took a gamble.”

Both pairs of eyes were drawn to the little boy as he pushed the cars around the track, making a chug-chugging noise.

Veronica smiled. “With that hair and those eyebrows, I think your gamble paid off.”

Casey returned her smile with a shrug. “As far as I’m concerned I became a winner the moment he dropped in to my life.” He shook his head, standing up abruptly to rinse their empty mugs in the sink. “Enough about the Gant family, though. We’re supposed to be cheering you up.”

Veronica’s smile was sad, but genuine. “That’s a pretty big task to take on,” she admitted, “but you guys are off to a great start.” She stood up, her coat in her hands. “I should be heading back. My dad is coming over later.” She stared at Casey, uncertain what to say next.

He came to her rescue, holding his arms out for a hug. She stepped into them gratefully, squeezing him a little tighter than he’d expected.

“This was nice.” He let her go reluctantly, stepping back to help her into her coat. “We should get together again soon.”

“Can she go to the zoo with us?” Casey looked up to find Jayson watching them.

Casey turned to her with an apologetic look. “I don’t know. What do you say, Veronica?”

“Please?” Jayson had abandoned his train yard to come peer up at her with big blue eyes. Casey was very familiar with the power of those eyes; Veronica’s answer didn’t surprise him.

“Sounds like fun,” she said ruffling the boy’s hair. “I guess it’s a date.” She bit down on her lip as she realized what she had said.

“Don’t worry about it, Veronica,” Casey told her gently. “I’m pretty busy with the whole fatherhood thing. I’m not asking for anything more than your friendship. I hope that’s not too much to ask?”

Veronica relaxed visibly, glancing down at Jayson before meeting Casey’s eyes. “That sounds wonderful.” She gave them each a quick hug before she left, promising to call to set up a date for the zoo.

Jayson watched her as she made her way down the drive, waving until she turned on to the street. “I like her, Dad.”

“Me too, Sport.” Casey scooped his son up in a bear hug. “Me too.”

All Chapters Here

*****

First and Last - Chapter 5

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 04:08:33 GMT

Chapter five of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment.

Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2011

Casey watched the couple take a turn around the dance floor. They looked so happy, in love even, staring adoringly into each others eyes. He could remember a time when they had hated each other. It had been surprising when they had started dating at the end of his senior year. The fact that they were now married still had Casey shaking his head in disbelief.

He couldn’t help wondering why Logan and Veronica had invited him to their wedding. Echolls and he had never really been what you’d call close friends, and he hadn’t talked to Veronica since that one brief, awkward conversation about the night of Shelly’s party. It didn’t make sense.

There was also the question of why he’d felt the need to come. He could have just sent his regards and an expensive, yet impersonal gift. Casey imagined that’s what they had expected him to do, but something had made him check the “accept” box and schedule a flight to Neptune.

He pondered these questions as guests began to make their way on to the dance floor, joining the newlyweds. Casey watched as someone tapped on Logan’s shoulder, asking to cut in. He let his wife go reluctantly, kissing her thoroughly before stepping aside. Veronica batted at him playfully, pretending to chastise him no doubt, but it was obvious to Casey that she was pleased with her husband’s attentions. She was absolutely glowing. He had never seen her look more beautiful. Overcome by the need to talk to her again, Casey found himself up on his feet, heading across the dance floor.

Veronica had her back to him, so she didn’t notice Casey until he’d reached across to tap on her partner’s shoulder. She smiled widely when she saw it was him, surprising him a bit. He hadn’t expected such a warm welcome.

“Casey!” Veronica wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “You made it!”

“Congratulations, Veronica.” Casey returned her embrace a bit self-consciously. He didn’t think he’d been so thoroughly hugged since he’d left the Moon Calf Collective. “You look happy.”

“I am.” Veronica didn’t seem to notice how lame Casey’s compliment was. She just grinned even wider, her eyes flicking to Logan in the crowd before turning her attention back to him. “I didn’t think this day would ever happen.”

Casey focused on his footwork as they began to move to the music; their height difference made things a bit awkward, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on a dance floor. He was acutely aware of Veronica’s arms wrapped casually around his neck, and the feel of silk under his palms.

“What about you, Casey?” Veronica surprised him with her question. “Are you happy?”

“I…I don’t know.” It wasn’t a question he asked himself often. He thought for a moment, taking stock of his life.

Veronica frowned at him, her eyes full of concern. “That’s not a good sign. If you don’t know then you probably aren’t.”

He thought she might have said more, but her father chose that moment to cut in. Casey surrendered her gracefully and made his way to the bar. He felt the sudden need for a drink.

“’Sup, Casey?” He turned to find Logan leaning casually against the bar, a glass in his hand.

“Not much,” Casey answered. He noted that, although Logan was addressing him, his eyes were focused on his bride as she floated across the dance floor. “You got yourself a good one.” Casey hoped he didn’t sound as wistful as he felt.

“Yeah,” Logan smiled at Casey’s words, “I did.”

He studied Logan thoughtfully, wondering at the devotion displayed so openly across the man’s face. Casey had never felt that way about anyone, and that realization depressed him a bit. “Logan,” he asked finally, “why did you guys invite me here tonight?”

Logan’s eyes finally met Casey’s. “That was Veronica’s idea,” he admitted. “She insisted. Apparently she has fond memories that involve you in some way…” Logan trailed off, his eyebrows raised in question.

“Yeah. “ Casey nodded thoughtfully. “She was really there for me when my grandmother died.” He sincerely hoped that was what Veronica had been referring to. He really didn’t want to get into a fight over a kiss that had happened more than ten years ago.

“She’s worried about you.” All of Logan’s attention was now firmly fixed on Casey. “She’s been keeping tabs on you.” He chuckled at Casey’s affronted look. “Don’t look so surprised; it’s what she does. Besides, it’s not like you need a P.I. license to dig up dirt on Casey Gant. You don’t have to look any farther than the supermarket check-out line; the tabloids are full of you. You’re one of the country’s most eligible bachelors, and probably the best looking one.” He smirked, adding, “Now that I’m off the market, that is.”

Casey rolled his eyes at Logan’s comments. “I don’t know what she could have heard that would give her cause to worry,” he snapped irritably.

“I don’t think there’s any one specific thing,” Logan shrugged, unfazed by Casey’s tone. “It’s more the string of short-lived, high-profile, drama-filled relationships. She thinks you’re too decent of a guy for that.” Logan snorted, as if amused by his wife’s opinion.

“You know, what you guys have? It’s not easy to find,” Casey complained. “Not everyone can find their perfect partner in high school, get married right out of college, and live happily ever after.”

“You really don’t know much about Veronica and me, do you?” Logan chuckled softly.

“Sorry,” Casey responded drily, “but I haven’t been keeping tabs on you.”

“Let me tell you,” Logan’s voice turned earnest, “there was nothing easy about our relationship.” He sighed, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. “You know what I think your problem is, Gant?”

“You’re gonna tell me, aren’t you?”

Logan smirked. “You give up too easily; move on too quickly. If you want what Veronica and I have, you’ve got to be willing to put in some time and effort. It’s been my experience that the best things in life aren’t easy…but they’re usually worth the effort.”

Logan’s attention was drawn to something behind Casey, a smile lighting up his face. Casey wasn’t at all surprised to find Veronica standing there when he turned around.

“If it isn’t my two favorite 09er jackasses,” she quipped, stepping into her husband’s outstretched arms.

“Shhhh…don’t let Dick hear you.” Logan tucked her snugly under his shoulder, brushing a kiss against her temple. “You’ll hurt his feelings.”

Casey watched the exchange with a feeling of longing. It wasn’t jealousy exactly, not of Logan anyway. He liked Veronica, but not the way Logan did. That, he supposed, is what he was missing. The kind of love these two shared. He’d do anything to have that kind of love in his life.

Armed with this new realization, Casey said his goodbyes, smiling at the glare he received from Logan when he took the opportunity to kiss the bride. He was a bit disappointed this time around, though. No strawberries.

All Chapters Here

*****

First and Last - Chapter 4

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:02:11 GMT

Chapter four of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment. Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2004

Casey liked it at the Moon Calf Collective.

He’d been skeptical when Miss Mills had invited him out here, but he’d been so ready for a change that he’d agreed to come and visit. It had turned out to be the answer to his dreams. Things were so relaxed here; no one cared about the labels on your clothing or the fact that you were about to inherit 80 million dollars. So far removed from the privileged 09er world he’d grown up in, it was refreshing. He liked it so much he sold his Porsche and took up permanent residence.

Casey still went to school, of course; he wasn’t stupid. He had no intention of spending the rest of his life living in a commune and raising poinsettias. He was going off to college in the fall, but until then, as far as he was concerned, this was home.

His parents didn’t like it. He didn’t care; they had been part of the reason he’d moved out here in the first place. Casey was sick of them and their derogatory remarks about his grandmother. The woman was on her deathbed and all they cared about was where her money was going. The fact that it was going to him didn’t sit well with them either. Sometimes he really hated them.

There was another benefit to living at the Collective. No one made him feel weak or inadequate when he cried about his grandmother. Here feelings were encouraged and hugs freely given. This was a novelty to Casey.

The Collective became Casey’s sanctuary, his haven from 09erdom, so when he heard Miss Mills had invited Veronica he had been a bit irritated. The more he thought about it, though, the less it bothered him. Veronica was not an 09er. Maybe she had been one once, by proxy, but that had been a long time ago. He had a feeling she was as tired of them as he was these days. And though he’d never really let on to anyone, Casey had always liked her. By the time she actually arrived he found he was looking forward to seeing her.

Four years after their first kiss, Casey found himself getting to know Veronica Mars. Part of him recognized how weird that was, but he was enjoying the experience too much to dwell on it. He liked her – genuinely liked her. There were no ulterior motives; he wasn’t trying to impress his peers or get into her pants. He just wanted to be her friend, and it seemed to him that she might feel the same way. Sitting next to her by the campfire or showing her around the compound – it felt good; comfortable even.

He knew it wasn’t a coincidence that she was there. He’d recognized her father, disguised as a utility worker, and knew his parents were probably behind it. But it didn’t bother him; he had nothing to hide. And he didn’t think Veronica was faking her kindness. She listened to him when he talked about his grandmother, and even came with him to the hospital to visit her. Casey couldn’t imagine any of his so-called friends doing the same. Then that night, when she dropped him back off at the Collective, they shared a moment; Casey knew he wasn’t imagining it. There had been the hint of a spark; the possibility that they could be more than just friends someday.

Then his grandmother died.

Things got a little confusing after that…

All Chapters Here

*****

First and Last - Chapter 3

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 01:06:25 GMT

Chapter three of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment. Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2003
The question wasn’t whether or not he was drunk. The way the room was spinning and tilting at a slight angle made the answer to that question pretty clear. What Casey was trying to decide was just exactly how drunk he was. And more importantly, how long would it be ‘til he was sober enough to drive himself home.

One thing he was certain of, however – he was nowhere near as drunk as Dick Casablancas. Casey watched, slightly amused, as his friend did a rather unimpressive bump and grind to “I Touch Myself.” His eyelids drooped closed for a moment, and when he opened them again it was to find that Dick had acquired a dance partner.

There was no doubt in Casey’s mind that Veronica Mars was drunker than he and Dick combined. If Dick hadn’t been holding her up, she wouldn’t have been able to stand. Casey watched uncomfortably as his friend ground his lips against hers, her lack of response making him uneasy.

“Why don’t you go see Uncle Casey?”

Without warning, Casey found Veronica thrust into his lap. He looked up inquiringly at Dick and caught sight of Madison Sinclair glaring daggers in their direction. Casey knew it wasn’t meant for him; it was for her idiot boyfriend or, more likely, Veronica.

Casey knew that ever since Lilly’s death Veronica had been less than popular among the 09er crowd. While he wasn’t convinced her ostracism was entirely justified, he hadn’t really wasted a lot of time thinking about it. He had his own problems to deal with.

But now here he was, once again face-to-face with Veronica Mars. A memory of the last time she had been in his arms swam to the surface of his alcohol-clouded brain, and he had an overwhelming urge to kiss her again. The blank look on her face, however, put an end to that. Veronica Mars was most definitely not at home. Hell, the lights were just barely on. With a sigh Casey pushed the tiny blonde away.

“No thanks. I like mine to be able to stand on their own power.”

He watched her stumble away and then managed to get to his feet. He went out back and took a turn around the pool, hoping the fresh air would help clear his head. He was more than ready for this night to be over. When his head stopped spinning he decided to risk the short drive home.

As he made his way back through the house, a particularly boisterous crowd caught Casey’s eye. Curiosity piqued, he moved in for a closer look.

He wished he hadn’t. The sight of Dick and Sean force-feeding Veronica shots made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t stay to find out if they were successful in their attempts to get her to make out with Shelly. Shooting them all a disgusted look, he made his escape.

Casey drove around the block several times, trying to decide what to do. Part of him wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and just forget about the whole night. But he couldn’t get Veronica out of his mind.

She was in bad shape, and he hated leaving her there. But it wasn’t as if he and Veronica were friends really. There was no reason he should be the one expected to step in and save her. That should have been Duncan’s job, he reasoned.

But then Veronica and Duncan weren’t dating any more, were they?

Casey knew full well if he went in there and put an end to his friends’ so-called fun he would be subjecting himself to social suicide, but he didn’t really know if he cared any more. He was getting really tired of social politics. His girlfriend probably wouldn’t understand when it got back to her either, but then he was getting a little tired of her as well.

Casey’s sense of decency won out. Decision made, he turned the car back towards Shelley’s. Once inside, however, he couldn’t find Veronica anywhere.

“She went off with Duncan,” Logan informed him with a sneer. He’d been headed out the door with a very friendly freshman when Casey asked if he had seen Veronica. “He had some objections to the body shots. Came swooping in like a knight in shining armor. I wouldn’t be surprised if those two were busy making up right at this very moment.” Raised eyebrows and an inappropriate gesture accompanied his last remark, implying more than Casey really wanted to know.

He watched Echolls walk out the door, not at all sorry to see him go. Just to be sure, he asked around a bit more. Another semi-sober witness confirmed what he’d been told; Veronica and Duncan had gone off together, looking rather cozy.

Casey sighed. It had been stupid of him to think Veronica Mars needed saving, and even stupider to think he should be the one to save her. He was no hero. Feeling a bit let down, he pushed his way through the crowd, anxious to be on his way home again.

All Chapters Here

*****

First and Last - Chapter 2

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:46:23 GMT

Chapter two of the fic written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment.

Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic(sorry this is late) and wily_one24for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

2002

This class was going to be a joke, Casey thought, as he noted the absence of desks and the bean bag chairs and pillows strewn about the room in their place. But, he decided, it could be worse. Thanks to his grandmother’s tutelage, he had an adequate knowledge of contemporary authors, and he had already read most of the books listed on the class syllabus. The teacher, Miss Wells, wasn’t bad to look at either, he decided as he watched her fussing around with lamps and colored scarves, creating “mood” lighting.

Casey turned as the classroom door opened, surprised to see Veronica Mars walk in. He had a sudden flashback to a night long ago. Wow. He hadn’t thought back to those ten minutes in a long time; the rest of the night’s activities had always overshadowed them in his mind. But now the memory came flooding back and he could almost taste her strawberry lipgloss.

Other than casual greetings when passing in the halls, he hadn’t really spoken to Veronica since that night. For the first time, Casey thought to wonder why.

He winked as he caught her eye, indicating a pillow across from his. Smiling nervously, she settled down on the cushion, tucking her skirt around her knees modestly.

“Hi, Casey.” Her voice was timid, but she met his eyes directly.

“Veronica.” He nodded, feeling a genuine smile spread across his face; so different from the sardonic grin he usually wore in social circles. “It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

“Good.” Her expression was more confident now, reminding him again of that girl he’d glimpsed in the closet. “Really good.”

Before Casey could respond her attention was drawn from him. His smile slipped as Duncan plopped down next to Veronica, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an unmistakably possessive gesture.

“Hey, Casey.” Duncan greeted him before brushing a quick kiss across Veronica’s cheek. She smiled, blushing slightly, and Casey looked away uncomfortably.

“’Sup, Duncan,” Casey tilted his head, acknowledging the younger man.

Casey slumped back in his beanbag chair, even less enthused by the prospect of sticking out an entire semester in this trippy atmosphere. A shadow fell across him and he looked up to find a cute brunette smiling down at him.

“Is this seat taken?” She nodded to a vacant pillow next to him.

“Be my guest.” Casey felt the grin spread across his face. Perhaps this class wasn’t going to be so bad after all…

All Chapters Here

*****

First and Last - Chapter 1

angst_driven — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:23:40 GMT

So, this was written for love_is_epic's birthday, after THIS little comment, which, for some reason, I took as a challenge of sorts. It was supposed to be a short and sweet one shot, and it turned into a 7,000+ word monster. Go figure.

Thanks to my partner-in-crime and fabulous beta celtic_flicka, as well as to birthday girl love_is_epic (sorry this is late) and wily_one24 for jump-starting my muse.

First and Last

1999

“So, Veronica, what’s it gonna be? Truth…or dare?” Lilly Kane smiled wickedly.

“Truth?” Veronica’s hesitant answer earned her an exasperated sigh from her friend.

“Come on, Veronica. Be brave! Be dare-ing!” Laughing at her own weak joke, Lilly collapsed backwards across the new kid’s lap. He didn’t seem to mind, Casey noted.

Casey watched disinterestedly from his corner of the room. He hadn’t wanted to come to this party tonight, but his mother had insisted he spend some time rubbing shoulders with the rest of Neptune’s young social elite. He had planned to hit that Hearst sorority party with his cousin, but he couldn’t very well share those plans with her. So it was with some reluctance that he had postponed his fantasy of mingling with compliant co-eds and resigned himself to making an appearance at the Kane siblings’ party.

“Be nice, Lilly.” Duncan’s quiet warning drew a derisive snort from his sister.

It was echoed by the boy whose lap her head rested on. “Yeah, man. Where was all that sympathy when it was my turn?” Logan Echolls raised an accusing eyebrow, hand pressed to his chest in a dramatic manner.

You could tell he was the son of an actor, Casey thought, although he had expected the kid to be better looking. Not that he was ugly, but one would have thought the collective gene pool of Aaron and Lynn Echolls would have produced something a little more spectacular.

“All right.” His thoughts were interrupted by Veronica’s whispered words. “Dare.”

“Don’t let Lilly intimidate you.” Duncan’s unusual defiance against his sister caught Casey’s attention. It seemed that young Mister Kane held more than friendly feelings towards his sister’s best friend.

“Dare.” Veronica’s voice came out more forceful this time, showing Casey the first sign of backbone he had ever seen in the tiny blonde. Apparently she wasn’t going to let Duncan intimidate her either. The corners of Casey’s lips curved up in amusement.

“Oh goody!” All eyes swung worriedly back to Lilly. Apparently even the Echolls kid had learned to fearthat tone of voice. “I think it’s about time you experienced ten minutes in heaven!”

“Don’t you mean seven?” Madison Sinclair piped up smugly. “It’s seven minutes in heaven.” Casey watched as her eyes darted quickly to Echolls to see if he was looking at her, and felt a surge of relief. Finally Maddy had found someone other than him to set her sights on!

Lilly rolled her eyes dramatically. “Seven is so arbitrary. Ten is a much more practical number.” Her smile grew as she added knowingly, “You can get so much more accomplished in those three extra minutes.” She turned to survey her guests with an air of royalty, her finger tapping lightly on her bottom lip. “So who’s the lucky boy going to be?”

Dick Casablancas’ hand shot up eagerly, and Casey barely stifled a laugh. He studied the rest of the group with an air of detachment. Lilly, holding court over her subjects. Puh-lease. Her power seemed to be working on the Echolls kid. He only had eyes for Lilly – or her breasts anyway. Casey couldn’t fault him there – they were nice breasts. Maddy was pouting, once again overshadowed by Lilly.

Duncan was trying to act cool, but it was plain to see that the idea of ten minutes alone with Veronica appealed to him. Very much. A detail that was not lost on Lilly. She stared at her brother with an evil little grin before turning abruptly to meet Casey’s startled eyes.

“Mr. Gant!” She declared, a pleased grin lighting up her beautiful face. “You’ve been exceptionally quiet tonight. One might even say boring.”

“I’m not really into playing games anymore, Lilly,” Casey responded, regaining his cool quickly.

“Don’t be a spoil-sport, Casey,” Lilly pouted prettily, “Besides, Veronica really should get her first kiss from an older man, don’t you agree?”

He was about to protest when he caught sight of Veronica’s mortified face. Lilly really could be a bitch sometimes, and the way she was embarrassing her best friend was an excellent example of it. Sighing inwardly, Casey pushed himself up from his chair and took the three long strides across the room to stand in front of Veronica.

“Shall we?” He summoned up his most charming smile, the one that got even the college girls’ attention, and held a hand out to her.

Veronica hesitated a moment before placing her tiny hand in his. She allowed him to help her up. With a hand on the small of her back he escorted her towards the closet door that Lilly swung open with a grandiose gesture.

The walk-in closet was more like a small bedroom than a closet. Casey had expected no less, but Veronica seemed suitably impressed. It was darker in here, but not so dark that he couldn’t see. He leaned back casually against the door, watching as she surveyed their surroundings.

A loud pounding on the door caused them both to jump. “I don’t hear anything interesting going on in there.” Lilly’s accusations were muffled by the thick door.

“Go to hell, Lilly,” Casey shot back amiably, as he pushed away from the door to stand closer to Veronica. He smiled as he heard the stereo volume increase, in what was no doubt someone’s half-hearted attempt to give them a bit of privacy. Veronica was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, and Casey found himself staring. Suddenly this whole ordeal didn’t seem that lame.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he told her softly, but she shook her head, surprising him.

“No,” she stared up at him, a look of determination on her face. “Lilly will know. I’d never hear the end of it, and I don’t really feel like dealing with that for the foreseeable future.” She sighed loudly, “Best to just get it over with.”

“O-kay?” Casey wasn’t really sure how to take that. “But don’t you want your first kiss to be special?”

“Are you saying you’re not up to the challenge?”

There was a teasing quality to her words that he was unaccustomed to hearing. “No. I’m not saying that,” he blinked down at her, perplexed, “but isn’t there some special guy, or something…”

“Look Casey, if you don’t want to kiss me just say so.” He could hear the annoyance in her voice. “I’m sure one of—“

Casey captured the rest of her words with his lips, finally giving in to her request. Breaking off the kiss, he opened his eyes to find her staring at him with wide eyes. “Satisfied?” he chuckled shakily.

She tilted her head daintily, as if considering her answer carefully. She nodded slowly and then stopped, going up on tiptoes to reach for another kiss. Her lips had been soft and warm, and Casey returned to them eagerly.

He pulled her closer, his hands resting lightly on her hips. The feel of her palms splayed against his chest gave him the courage to do some further exploration. He trailed his fingers along the hem of her t-shirt then made his way upward, tracing along the underwire of her bra.

Veronica never made a sound, but her breathing sped up, matching his own. Reluctantly he pulled back, watching her closely as her eyes fluttered open to gaze up at him dazedly. “Veronica…” Unsure of how to continue, Casey’s voice trailed off.

The door flew open, startling them both out of their stupor. “Time’s up!” Lilly sang, reaching for Veronica’s hand and drawing her out of the closet. Casey followed her slowly, taking time to adjust his jeans. It took his eyes a while to readjust to the bright light. As his sight improved he caught the full force of Duncan’s glare, and he barely managed to stifle a grin.

“How was it Veronica? Was it everything you’d hoped for in a first kiss?” Lilly’s questions tumbled from her mouth. Behind her Logan smirked gleefully; it was obvious he had already fallen under the spell of Lilly’s dubious charms.

“He was a perfect gentleman,” Veronica informed their waiting audience, and Casey had to hide another smile as he watched her tug discreetly at the back of her bra in an attempt to right things.

He slung a casual arm around her shoulder, managing to straighten her strap in the process. “Thank you, Veronica,” he gave her a playful squeeze before dropping his arm, “for defending my honor.” He glanced up at the clock, pleased to see that his cousin would be here to pick him up soon. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I have places to go and college girls to see.” Casey dropped a quick kiss on Veronica’s blushing cheek, and made his escape.

A sigh of relief escaped Casey’s lips as he exited the Kane mansion. As over-rated as he felt Lilly was, he had to admit that the girl was a pro at ferreting out the most embarrassing details and then exploiting them purely for her entertainment. Sweet, innocent Veronica Mars would be subjected to a minor amount of ribbing for tonight’s episode, but if word got out that it had been Casey Gant’s first kiss as well? Well, it wouldn’t be good, that was for sure.

As he stood waiting for his cousin to arrive, Casey allowed his mind to replay the kiss in his mind; the taste of Veronica’s berry-flavored lipgloss, the flowery scent of her hair, the baby-soft feel of her skin. As first kisses go, he decided, it had been more than all right.

As he slid into the passenger side of his cousin’s car, however, his mind was already moving on to other things – like college girls and keggers, and, hopefully, other important firsts in a young boy’s life.

All Chapters Here
*****

Look what I got yesterday!

angst_driven — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:08:50 GMT

     Isn't it pretty?

     I've never gotten an award banner before!

     And, yes, I know, it's just for being nominated, but it's still quite cool!

     I can't wait to add it to my profile!

I guess voting starts March 1st. I'll try to keep you posted.

Urban Fantasy Land Reader's Choice Awards

angst_driven — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:46:09 GMT

If you read Urban Fantasy there's a poll HERE that you might be interested in...

Icon Love

angst_driven — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:06:35 GMT

For Christmas I got Vol. 1 and 2 of Angel: After the Fall in hard cover. In his comments, writer Bryan Lynch had this to say, which I found amusing and I thought I'd share:

     As soon as I wrote the panel featuring "Screw you, Dawn" I knew it would be made into many-an-avatar. For those of you without action figures on your desk, an avatar is a little picture that appears directly below people's names on webboards.
     For instance, on my webboard at angrynakedpat.com, I have a little picture of Spike Puppet from Spike: Shadow Puppets under my name. Other people have pictures of themselves, a Transformer, or a photo of Angel and Spike photoshopped so they're doing something gay. These are literally the only three avatars you are allowed to use by law.

Funny, yes? Made me LOL. ; ) But not entirely true in my fandoms. (For one thing, more likely to see Sam/Dean than Spike/Angel. *hee*)   Plus, my friends are much more creative with their icon-age!

To help me prove this (but mostly just for fun) please comment with your favorite/most creative/most outlandish/whatever icon.

Anthology update

angst_driven — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:24:13 GMT

So, I finally have a break from schoolwork and I am determined to take advantage of it and get some writing done. I have just re-read all the previous chapters to help get me back on track. (Dang, but it's long!!) I am going to outline the remaining chapters this afternoon, and hopefully get some writing done tonight. My goal (and I hope I'm not being delusional when I say this) is to get the entire story finished and posted before class starts up again. Keep your fingers crossed! ; )

At this point it's looking like there will be three to four more chapters...

LJ Comments Stats

angst_driven — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:00:33 GMT

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Total Commenters: 72
Total Comments: 769
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Prezzies!

angst_driven — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:52:14 GMT

Christmas Gift Toy & MySpace Layouts at pYzam.com

Let it Snow!

angst_driven — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:30:59 GMT

Snow Globe Toy & MySpace Layouts at pYzam.com

angst_driven — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 06:27:03 GMT

*CLICK*

Here comes Santa Claus...

angst_driven — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:16:32 GMT

Just a quick post to pimp out a couple of 'Secret Santa' communities:

vm_santa - for Veronica Mars lovers

btvs_santa - for Buffy/Angel fans

Go on over and check them out. See if it's something you'd be interested in.

(I participated at vm_santa last year and had a lot of fun.)

Which one do you like better?

angst_driven — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:46:46 GMT

I liked my new header (as seen here) but it was too small. So I decided to make a new one. Problem is I made two different versions, and now don't know which look I like better. So I thought I'd ask you guys. What do you think?

This one?

Or this one?

HELP!!

Anthology, Part V, Chapter 13

angst_driven — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:49:30 GMT

V. Head First

Summary: Veronica's and Angelica's attempts to come clean just end up unearthing more deceptions.
Categories: Veronica, Logan
Genre: Angst, Drama, General, Mystery, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Logan, Veronica

Author's Notes: Sorry it took so long to get this posted. I hope to be quicker with the final chapters. (I'm thinking two more and the story will be complete!) I apologize for the lack of smut. This would have been the perfect chapter for it too... (Too bad I wimped out.!)

Disclaimer: Most of the charaters and locations don't belong to me (although they did give birth to mine!)

Chapter 13 - Double-Blind

Stephen studied Angelica as he ended the conversation with his father. Her eyes were fixed on the road ahead; her expression was pointedly blank. "Something going on between you and your mother?"

"You could say that." She still refused to meet his eyes.

"Does it have anything to do with what you need to talk to me about?" Stephen prodded.

"You might say that as well."

He waited for her to clarify but she remained silent until she pulled into a spot in the Camelot’s parking lot. He had to fight to suppress a feeling of excitement at finding himself at a motel with Angelica. That wasn’t why they were here. Not that he was exactly sure why they were here.

Angelica’s voice broke the awkward silence that had fallen over the car. "Would you mind going and getting a key?" She made a point of not looking at him as she added, "They know me pretty well here."

When Stephen failed to respond she risked a glance in his direction, taking in his raised eyebrow. She blushed faintly as she realized what her words might imply. "Because of work," she explained, "We do a lot of surveillance around here. It’s not really good for business, so I guess it’s understandable that the Mars family is personas non gratis."

With a slight nod Stephen climbed out of the car and made his way to the office, throwing occasional looks over his shoulder to reassure himself that Angelica was still there. The interior of the office was about as far away from Godliness as Stephen could imagine, and it didn’t leave him with high expectations for the state of the rooms. He considered walking right back out, but the knowledge that Angelica was waiting for him renewed his resolve. He presented his father’s Platinum card earning him a room key and a knowing wink from the manager.

Angelica was waiting just outside. She looked up expectantly at him and he held the key up and gave it a little wave. He had to swallow twice before he found his voice. "Room 227. Upstairs."

She nodded, her lip caught nervously between her teeth. He followed as she made her way up to the room; his eyes fixed on her backside as he again questioned the wisdom of being here. Outside the room she stepped aside so he could fit the key in the lock. Stephen took great care to avoid brushing against her, unsure of what kind of response contact would elicit. He opened the door and ushered her in with a sweeping gesture.

His flamboyance earned an eye roll from Angelica as she walked past him to perch carefully on the edge of the bed. Stephen’s gaze swept across the sparsely furnished room. There wasn’t room for much besides the bed; a bedside table and lamp, an armchair, and a television. At least it was clean. Stephen considered the faded chair but opted instead to lean back against the wall, arms crossed in front of him, as he regarded the girl sitting across from him.

"So," he inquired casually, one eyebrow slanted upward, "you wanted to talk to me about something?"

She nodded again, an unsure little tilt of the head, before taking a deep breath as if gathering her resolve. "First I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting around you. I’ve been kind of a bitch lately."

"Really? I hadn’t noticed."

Angelica went on, ignoring his sarcastic comment. "It’s just that for as far back as I can remember there’s been some question, mostly uttered behind my back, as to who my father is."

This was not the direction Stephen had expected this conversation to take, and a puzzled look settled over his face as he waited for her to continue.

"I’ve never really dwelt on the question too much myself," she admitted honestly, "That is until you and your father came to Neptune, and my mother began to lose her mind. Too much of a coincidence, if you ask me. So I did a little digging." Her eyes met his; "Did you know that your dad and my mom used to go out?"

Stephen nodded, "I’d heard rumors." A sudden thought crossed his mind. "What are you trying to say, Angelica? What does this have to do with us?"

A tiny smile crossed her face as she looked at him. "You are a smart boy. You’ve put it together much quicker than I did." Her lips curved down into a frown. "Or thought I had, anyway."

Agitated, Stephen pushed away from the wall. "Are you telling me that you think…that we…?"

"Are brother and sister?" Angelica supplied. "That would be the logical assumption." She snorted humorlessly. "It’s what my mother wants me to believe, for some reason, but it turns out that’s not the case."

Stephen’s brow wrinkled in confusion. "I don’t understand?"

"Join the club." Angelica collapsed back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling. "I mean, everything pointed to my life becoming the plot of a V. C. Andrews novel. But then the test results came back—"

"Test results?"

Her eyes shifted nervously to him. "The, uh, DNA tests I had run."

With a heavy sigh, Stephen crossed the room to sit beside her. "I think maybe you’d better start from the beginning."

*****

Veronica wasn’t sure how long she sat there, slumped down against the wall. She was just about to get up and return home when she heard the doorknob turn. She stumbled to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes as Logan walked through the door. He stopped, nervously running his hand through his hair. She stumbled in her hurry to reach him.

He stared at her as she stopped a few feet from him, a somewhat dazed expression on his face. "I have a daughter."

"Yes," Veronica gnawed at her lip nervously, "I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have…" Her apology died away as he held up a hand, his head shaking away her words.

"I have a daughter," he repeated. "We have a daughter."

"Yes," Veronica nodded hesitantly, "but –"

Her words were cut off as he claimed her lips with his. The kiss was demanding, becoming rougher as Logan let loose his anger. His grip on her arms was almost bruising. The thought that she should be afraid briefly crossed Veronica’s mind, but she felt nothing but relief. Sure he was angry with her, but he had every right to be. And it’s not like anger was anything new between the two of them. It would pass. She only hoped that the kiss meant something, and that it wasn’t just a means he was using to punish her.

When he broke the kiss, Logan’s breathing was ragged. "I’m not leaving," he managed to say, and Veronica felt a surge of hope rise up within her. "You can’t make me. I’ve already lost out on sixteen years of her life. Sixteen years that we, all three of us, should have been together. There’s no way I’m missing out on any more." His mouth once again crashed down on hers.

Veronica managed to disengage her lips long enough to get out one word. "Okay."

Logan pulled back to stare at her, disbelief plain on his face. "Okay?"

The corners of Veronica’s mouth curved up as she nodded.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "No arguing or running away this time?"

As she shook her head slowly an answering smile spread across Logan’s face before he tenderly captured her lips with his. As he lifted her into his arms he was overcome with a sense of urgency. One step forward and he had her pinned against the wall.

Veronica’s legs encircled his waist as he drew her shirt over her head, his actions frantic. His only purpose in that moment was to rid her of all clothing. His fingers fumbled at her back, desperate to unhook her bra. As the scrap of nylon and lace dropped to the floor he drew back to survey the view possessively.

"Logan—"

He silenced her with a finger pressed softly to her lips. "No arguing, Veronica," he admonished her with a stern look, "you promised."

Veronica’s lips pressed against his finger in a soft kiss. "I was just going to suggest we move this to the bedroom." Her voice came out in a husky whisper, eliciting a groan from Logan.

"Anything my lady wishes," he teased, pushing away from the wall, Veronica clasped tightly to him.

She squealed as he entered the bedroom and tossed her gently on the bed. He didn’t let it deter him from sliding her skirt down her legs, tossing it carelessly behind him. Veronica managed to get a hold on his shirt, dragging it over his head before he moved out of her reach again, taking her panties with him.

For a moment all Logan could do was stare down at her, transfixed. Blushing slightly under his scrutiny, Veronica crooked a finger at him. "Come here," she urged breathlessly.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

*****

"So," Stephen lay sprawled across the bed next to her, his arm thrown across his eyes, "not one match, huh? That sucks."

"Yep," Angelica muttered distractedly, taking the opportunity to study him without being observed. She noted that his hair had lightened to a sandy blond in the harsh California sun. He was overdue for a haircut; her fingers itched to run through the unruly mop.

She looked away quickly as he pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "There may be a bright side to all this, you know."

There was heat in Stephen’s gaze, and Angelica found her eyes once again drawn to him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Slowly, he leaned in closer.

The corner of Angelica’s lip curved upwards in a nervous smile. "Care to share?"

"I’d be glad to," Stephen’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "But before I make an idiot of myself, answer something for me?"

"What?"

"That night," he began cautiously, "on the beach, before we were so rudely interrupted…there was something there right? Between you and me? It wasn’t just me?"

"No, it wasn’t just you," Angelica answered with a quick shake of her head.

"Good to know." A relieved grin lit up Stephen’s face. "And now I feel comfortable in pointing out the benefits of you not being my sister. "

"I think I’d rather you show me some of those benefits," she countered, earning a delighted look from him before he captured her lips.

It was a demanding kiss, and Angelica surrendered to it. He was right, of course. There was something between them, something so grand it defied words. And now that she knew for sure that he wasn’t her brother she couldn’t think of a single reason to deny their feelings any longer.

"I’m so glad you’re not my brother," she managed to gasp when the came up for air.

Stephen responded with a shaky laugh. "No kidding." He collapsed back on the bed, pulling her in close. "Can you imagine it? Not only would we not be able to do this," he paused to illustrate with a quick but passionate kiss, "but if I know my dad, he’d want to take an active role in your life."

Angelica’s brow arched questioningly. "An active role?"

"Oh you know, father-daughter time – trips to the zoo, picnics at the beach, that kind of thing." His hand caressed her arm absently. "It would kill me to have to spend that much time around you and not be able to touch you."

"It’s hard for me to imagine the infamous Logan Echolls engaging in such frivolous domestic past-times."

"You’d be surprised." Stephen’s tone was suddenly serious. "He takes his role as a father very seriously. Making up for the sins of his father, I guess. It would have killed him to find out he had an illegitimate daughter out there that he hadn’t even known about."

Angelica reached over to smooth away the frown lines that had formed on Stephen’s forehead. "Well, then, there’s another bright side to the latest non-development in my personal little saga. Although, if I’m being honest, I’m more excited about the other benefits."

Stephen’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively as he rolled over, pinning her beneath him. "Let’s explore those benefits, shall we?" With his lips touching hers, Angelica was more than willing to go along with that plan.

She let her hormones take over, relishing in the frantic need to touch and be touched. The feel of his hand underneath her sweater, tracing along the edge of her bra, caused a sigh of pleasure to escape her. Angelica tugged at Stephen’s t-shirt, pulling it over his head, eager to run her fingers along his smooth, muscular shoulders. Angelica rose slightly, helping him to ease her sweater off. She became aware of an unmistakable hardness pressed against her thigh, and she felt a warm flush sweep across her body in response.

With a bit of wiggling Angelica managed to position herself above him, her skirt riding up as she straddled his stomach. She bent to brush tender kisses along the scar that marred his forehead, then let her tongue trace along his ear and down his neck. She was so focused on what she was doing that it took her a moment to notice that Stephen’s mind seemed to be somewhere else.

She drew away with a huff, startling him. "Am I boring you?"

He grinned sheepishly, wincing at being caught. "Not at all. By all means, continue with what you were doing."

Angelica sighed heavily, climbing off of him to sit on the bed across from him, arms crossed. "Uh uh. Not ‘til you tell me what’s so important that it’s interfering with this long overdue moment."

"Nothing’s that important. Let’s get back to the making out." He made a grab for her, but she evaded him.

"Spill, Stephen." She fixed him with a stern gaze, and he sighed in defeat.

"It’s nothing, it’s just…" he ran a hand through his hair as he stumbled over his explanation, making it stick up in a way Angelica found adorable. "I mean, don’t you think it’s odd that, even when faced with the evidence, your mom still insisted that my dad was your father?"

"Well, yeah," Angelica snorted in exasperation; "I find it extremely odd. Even more than that, I find it annoying and hurtful. My mom doesn’t lie to me. I’ll grant you, she might omit the truth from time to time, but to outright lie to me…" She trailed off, biting her lip to stave off the tears she could feel threatening to fall.

Stephen reached for her again, and this time she allowed herself to be drawn into his arms. He tucked her snuggly under his chin, hugging her tightly. "Hey, everything’s going to be okay." He brushed her hair from her face. "I’m sure there’s a good explanation. We just need to figure out what it is."

"Oh is that all," Angelica sniffled sullenly.

"Maybe she isn’t lying," Stephen offered thoughtfully. "Maybe they made a mistake. What did you use for DNA samples?"

Angelica shifted uncomfortably. "Toothbrushes mostly."

"Well, I’m no expert, but I would think that a blood sample would be more accurate." He squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "We’ll just do it again. I’ll figure out some way to get a blood sample from my dad." He sighed loudly as his arms dropped away from her. He reached to pick up her sweater, handing it to her with a self-deprecating smirk.

"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we’d better get dressed. Don’t want to do anything we’ll end up regretting later." She watched him pull on his own shirt. A puzzled look crossed his face as he emerged from the neck-hole to find her staring at him, her sweater once again on the floor. "Seriously, you need to put your shirt back on, and soon, because the thoughts I’m having right now are far from brotherly."

When she remained still, he sat down next to her, bending slightly to meet her gaze. "What is it, Angelica?"

"I didn’t use your dad’s toothbrush," she confessed, as her mind began rehashing the facts, looking for the missing piece to the puzzle.

"You didn’t?" Stephen cocked his head, momentarily flustered. "Oh. Okay. So what did you use?"

"Blood," she whispered.

"Blood?" His eyes widened in surprise. "How did you manage to get a blood sample from my dad?"

"I didn’t, exactly," she said taking his hand and stroking it lightly.

"Then how…?" Angelica watched as Stephen’s eyes drifted down to stare at her fingers as they gently traced the fresh scar on his palm.

"You used my blood?" She had expected he might be annoyed or angry. She had even dared to hope that he might be pleased. But Angelica never, for even a moment, thought that her confession would scare Stephen.

"Stephen?" Angelica cried in alarm, as he sprung up to begin a frantic search for his shoes. "What’s wrong?"

"I think your mom was at my house." He was shaking visibly, and Angelica found that his panic was contagious. She pulled her sweater on quickly, handing him the sneaker that she found hidden underneath. He took it, tightening the laces with trembling fingers. "She’s smart. She’ll figure it out."

"Figure what out?" Her eyes widened suddenly, as what he was saying sunk in. "Wait. My mom’s at your house?"

He nodded curtly, "I think so, yeah." He grabbed her keys and offered her a hand up. "We have to hurry."

"Why?" she tried again as he pushed her gently but urgently out the door. "Stephen, what’s the matter?"

"I’ll explain later," he pulled the door closed. "There’s no time now. I need to be there when he finds out…"

*****

Veronica lay spent, limbs entwined with Logan’s. She would have been content to remain that way for some time if it weren’t for a persistent, nagging thought that seemed determined to ruin her contentment. "Logan?" She nudged gently at the arm flung across her stomach.

His answering growl was muffled by the pillow. Undeterred she pushed against him with a bit more force. "There’s something we need to talk about."

Logan’s head rose just enough so that he could study her warily with one barely open eye. "There’s something else you neglected to tell me?"

"Not me," she shook her head sadly, forcing herself to continue. She didn’t want to do this. She had hurt him enough already. It didn’t seem fair that she should have to be the one to deliver this next blow; not when she had had nothing to do with it.

Logan reached out to brush a lock of hair from her eyes. "What is it?"

"Angelica had DNA tests run," she blurted out, then paused to choose her next words more carefully. "She was trying to figure out who her father was. You aren’t the only one I’ve been keeping secrets from," she added sheepishly.

Logan’s laugh was full of irony. "She really takes after you, doesn’t she?"

Veronica scowled, momentarily distracted. "I don’t know, I think she inherited a few of her less than desirable traits from her father…"

But Logan’s mind was elsewhere. He rolled over, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His smile faded as his sleep-addled brain processed what she had said. "Wait, she ran my DNA? How did she manage that? I haven’t been anywhere near her since that night at the station."

"She used toothbrushes for most of the samples…"

"Most of the samples?"

"Apparently there was a list," Veronica frowned. "Casey, Leo, Eli…Wallace…"

"Wait, Wallace?"

"Yes, apparently my daughter believed me to be as big a slut as you insinuated I was in high school." Logan had the grace to look ashamed.

"Toothbrushes, huh? Clever girl," he frowned thoughtful, "but mine’s accounted for."

"Yeah, I figured that," Veronica bit her lip, hesitant to continue, "She didn’t use a toothbrush for your sample. She didn’t actually provide a sample for you at all."

"The possibility that I could be her father never even crossed her mind?" She could have sworn he sounded disappointed.

"Oh no, you were her primary suspect," Veronica hastened to assure him. "It was like you said; she didn’t have access to you. But she thought she had the next best thing…"

A look of understanding crossed Logan’s face. "Stephen. Stephen gave her his DNA."

"Whether he did it knowingly or not, I don’t know. What?" she watched as his face took on a wary look and a thought occurred to her. "You already know what I’m going to say." It wasn’t a question; his expression as he stumbled out of the bed was all the answer she needed.

"Angelica is your daughter." Despite Logan’s alarming reaction, Veronica was relieved to be able to say this with absolute certainty. "But according to the DNA results—"

"Don’t," his eyes pleaded with her.

"—she and Stephen aren’t related."

Logan slumped back against the wall, eyes closed in defeat.

"How long have you known?" Veronica’s voice was barely above a whisper. She slipped out of bed, stepping close to him to wrap her arms around his waist.

"Since that night," his voice was strained, "when Stephen was in that car accident." His arms found their way around her shoulders to pull her close. "He needed a transfusion. I offered but it turns out I wasn’t his type."

"That doesn’t…" she began.

"Yeah, it does." He squinted down at her. "I’m AB-. Stephen is O+. There’s no way he’s mine." The last part sounded suspiciously like a sob, and Veronica squeezed him tightly, offering support.

"I never even suspected," he continued, his voice full of anguish. "I kind of lost it." She looked at him questioningly. "At the hospital. Stephen’s lying in a hospital bed, his best friend is dead, and then some nurse comes in, full of pity, and tells me I’m not a compatible donor."

Veronica could feel his body stiffen with anger as he relived the moment. He tried to pull away and she relaxed her grip but refused to let go of him completely. She studied him, his face tortured, eyes closed. A feeling of unease stole over her. "Then what, Logan?" she licked her lips nervously. "What did you do?"

"I called her." His eyes remained closed, lost in the past. "I was very angry." The words were said very precisely, as if he had practiced this mantra. "I had so much resentment towards her; more than I even realized. At that moment I hated her. I didn’t hold back when I confronted her on how she’d lied to me. How she’d condemned us both to a loveless marriage, and ruined my relationship with the one woman I love." Logan’s eyes opened as Veronica failed to suppress a gasp. His lips formed a rueful smile, "Did I forget to mention that I never really got over you?"

She touched his cheek lovingly, a tiny smile curving her lips. The respite was brief, and Logan’s smile disappeared as he resumed his story.

"I also told her that it was never going to happen again. I told her that it didn’t matter if I was Stephen’s biological father or not; he belonged to me. I told her that I could afford the best lawyers, and that I would divorce her and get custody of Stephen. I would have told her how I was going to come crawling back to you to beg you for forgiveness," his eyes closed as his head sunk lower, "but I never got the chance."

Veronica had to swallow twice before she found her voice, "Why?"

"Apparently," he began, not meeting her eyes, "Parker was in her car on the way to the hospital when she answered the phone. She was distraught about Stephen; what I had to say to her couldn’t have helped any. She…" he swallowed and tried again, "I didn’t get the chance to tell her because we got disconnected when she ran a red light – and got blind-sided by a truck."

"Oh my God," Veronica whispered, horrified.

Logan’s laugh was harsh and full of self-derision. "One minute I’m yelling into the phone, damning her to hell for what she’d done, and the next minute I’m sobbing uncontrollably, begging her to talk to me."

Veronica led him back to sit on the bed as his legs threatened to give out. "My son was lying broken in a hospital bed. He’d just seen his best friend die, and I had to tell him that his mother was dead too." The pain in Logan’s voice tore at her heart. "I couldn’t tell him that it was my fault, I just couldn’t…"

"It wasn’t your fault, Logan," Veronica’s voice was full of authority.

"Right," he retorted sadly, "because nothing is ever my fault."

*****

Angelica parked the car and made her way up the walk, following the path Stephen had taken. She let herself in the front door, hoping to find him. The foyer, however, was empty except for a few articles of clothing strewn haphazardly on the floor. Her eyes widened as they fell upon an all-too-familiar shirt. Resisting the urge to turn and flee, she instead followed the trail of discarded clothes, desperately hoping to find her friend before her shirtless mother.

Stephen stood frozen at the top of the stairs. Puzzled, Angelica made her way closer to him. She could hear voices coming from the doorway nearest him, although they were too low for her to make out.

"Stephen –" she began, but he held a finger up to his lips, signaling her to be quiet. As he turned to face her she was able to get a good look at his face. What she saw there sent a shiver of apprehension along her skin. "What’s wrong?" she whispered, reaching out to lay her hand on his arm.

"He knows," Stephen’s voice came out strained, and Angelica had to lean closer to hear him. As she opened her mouth to ask him what he meant she was distracted by a voice coming from the next room.

"Wait," Veronica’s voice carried out into the hallway, "do you hear something?"

lame (but honest) excuses

angst_driven — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 03:41:52 GMT

So, I promised somebody that I'd post the next chapter of Anthology today. I really planned on it, but didn't quite get it finished.

I've been incredibly busy trying to get stuff ready for our garage sale tomorrow (which will probably be cancelled due to rain) with little to no help from my other family members. The kids are just about useless in the area of finding and pricing things. And while my husband is great at the moving around of heavy objects, he has yet to stick a price tag on a single item.

To make things worse, I totally skipped a night of sleep on Monday (stupid caffiene-induced insomnia) and my body has yet to recover.

But, honestly, the chapter is 99% finished (needs a closing paragraph, proof-reading, and a title) and I will post it soon!

(How sad is it that my little animated mood penguin made me yawn? Going to bed now...)

Just wanted to share this...

angst_driven — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:09:22 GMT

I've been unpacking, and it's really kind of scary how many books I have! Anyway, I listed a few for sale at Half.com and then I found the PaperBackSwap site. I know some of you must read as much as I do, so go ahead and check it out!

(If they ask who referred you, tell them ltjmommy!)

...melancholy and cool, kind of bittersweet...

Whoa.

If you're interested...

Get your Casey fic here!

Ugh.

Anthology, Part V, Chapter 14

First and Last - Chapter 7 (The End)

First and Last - Chapter 6

First and Last - Chapter 5

First and Last - Chapter 4

First and Last - Chapter 3

First and Last - Chapter 2

First and Last - Chapter 1

Look what I got yesterday!

Urban Fantasy Land Reader's Choice Awards

Icon Love

Anthology update

LJ Comments Stats

Prezzies!

Let it Snow!

Here comes Santa Claus...

Which one do you like better?

Anthology, Part V, Chapter 13

*lame (but honest) excuses*

Just wanted to share this...

lame (but honest) excuses