I got a bad feeling...

andraste — Sun, 20 May 2001 15:40:15 GMT

I really hate coming into work feeling like crap...

Today I have a huge amount of work to do for my workshops at Monash tomorrow... and I have to go to Liz's mum's funeral... and arrange my Sydney and Brisbane workshops... it's all too much. Man, do I need a holiday!

One thing I know I have to work on at the moment is my self-confidence. I wonder why people would like me at all, and any tiny rejection makes me feel as if they don't, and as if I'm an unworthy person. I know that I have to work on that one :(

I think about my friends - especially Rachael and Robin - and I know they are extremely wonderful people, who wouldn't like me if there wasn't *something* good about me... I just wish that I could feel that when they're not there, reassuring me.

This week I think I'll call a shrink, and perhaps even join the gym...

Melancholy words

andraste — Sun, 20 May 2001 00:37:13 GMT

Well, there aren't a lot of things to say at the moment...

I'm depressed (literally... hello Zoloft!) and premenstrual. I know I should go see a counsellor - I went so far as to get names of psychologists - but I haven't yet done so.

I haven't got what I want, but I think I have things which are better for me anyway. At this stage my logical mind recognises that there are some people I'm better off having as friends than as anything else. And I am hugely blessed with two of my friends.

Tomorrow I have to go to Liz's mum's funeral... and a lot of extra work has to be taken on. It's a tad messy.

That's about all for now... I'll write more when I don't have a headache.

Andraste

I got a bad feeling...

Melancholy words