I feel like I've read a lot of parenting books in my 11+ years of being a parent. Or at least, I've STARTED a lot of them... Many of them I have trouble finishing, not because I don't love reading (I do!) or am not motivated (I am!), but because 1) they're too complicated and convoluted, 2) they make it sound like I have to change my entire parenting method and/or who I am to succeed, and 3) they sink me into a pit of guilt, feeling like I will never be the perfect parent that my child needs, and therefore I must be a complete failure as a mom.

A little dramatic? Well, yes, but that's who I am. Do you have to change who you are to be a good parent? I don't think so! And neither do the Olricks!

This book is so easy to read and engaging, and it connected with me on such a deep level. I was in tears at several points... but not (as with other books!) tears of guilt at being failure as a parent -- no, tears of RELIEF that it really could be that simple, and that I really could spend my days ENJOYING and CONNECTING with my child as I guide him, instead of being paralyzed by the fear that I'm screwing him up. I can't tell you how freeing and grace-filled and empowering this book is -- and yet filled with SOO many practical examples and tips.

I especially love how the Olricks take turns writing chapters -- Amy gives heart-felt, warm, down-to-earth examples and stories of interacting with her kids that give you a glimpse into their lives and how the system works in real situations, and then Jeffrey explains the science behind it in clear, concise language that a layperson can understand. It is a wonderful layered approach.

Even in the middle of reading the book, I found I could already easily apply the principles, as my child walked in having a meltdown one day (aimed at me!). I thought about the 6 needs and asked myself which one he needed right then -- and (miraculously!) within a couple minutes, we were smiling and hugging, instead of dragging on and on with both of us ending up angry and hurt. I don't think I need to explain what magic that seemed like in dealing with my (very dramatic) tween boy!

I'm printing out the compass and posting it on my fridge!

Every parent needs to read this book. Thank you Olricks for bringing it to the world. We needed it!

Marie Kondo may declutter homes but the Olricks declutter parenting. Both books are about the same length, and both find ways in bringing joy back with a touch of [optional] spirituality. The Olricks have successfully blended science, child psychology, and occasional light Judeo-Christianity references with real-world anecdotes into an uplifting, guilt-free guide to parenting. Their book focuses on 6 basic categories -- Delight, Support, Boundaries, Protection, Comfort, and Equipping -- using a compass analogy. Draw near or explore. (I even found some parts valuable to managers in how they should treat their employees.) "The 6 Needs of Every Child" is a refreshing, insightful, honest and helpful book. It sounds geeky, but be sure to read the appendices! Tucked in the end of Appendix A, for example, is a very helpful adult self-assessment: find out which of the 6 parent/management types you lean towards in certain situations. With the world in crisis, the last thing I need now is to pay for a parenting guilt-trip or a bunch of obvious suggestions which I've read in other parenting books and articles, but this is NOT a disappointment. It's an enlightening and fabulous guide that I'll gladly continue to revisit and consult.

I don’t even have kids and I could not put it down until I finished. I saw myself and my family and the need to question the untrue stories in my head that steal joy sometimes. As I continue to learn my path to healing and peace, I find so much insight by looking at my own parents through a different lens and seeing how incredible they were...even more so than I already thought, and somehow you gave me permission to forgive the hurtful stuff for which I have held some resentment for too long.

Not only that, the way that you both tell Jesus stories so beautifully and with such relevance and humanity. It may have been the most inspiring way I have read the gospel.

Favorite quotes of the day: AMY: “Grace offers us a forever invitation to rise again.”

JEFFREY: “Some of your best stories and greatest adventures will come from obstacles you’ll encounter and overcome as you get where you need to gRoW.”

I want to share this with everyone I know without it being weird that a non-parent is passing out a parenting book to parents. That’s not it, though, I really think there are tools here that may be applicable to so many relationships, to be a better aunt, a better trainer or caregiver, a better sister and daughter, but particularly a better adult with children that I have the fortune to be around.

I love this refreshing, relatable parenting book! The personal stories feel like moments that I could be sitting with the Olricks, having a cup of coffee, gaining insightful parenting wisdom. I have started applying their insight to my own children and have seen happy results in behavior, just from a few changes I've made in my parenting choices. I'm thankful for this thoughtful and well-written book!

This is a very good book describing the relationship needs of children and giving parents tools for navigation through how to support these needs. I like the connection emphasis and the relatable stories that provide the discussion foundations. Well done!

Very good info and easy to implement

I found this reading to be basic at best, having a background in child psych. Great for beginners learning their children.

Unlike many parenting books that make us feel guilty or can feel too formulaic, this book gives language to many of the most confusing aspects of parenting. Many parents question, "When should I help my child with something and when should I let me kid figure it out?" This book articulates the balance between exploration of kids and the closeness of relationship with parents. Jeffrey's sharing of the science of child development is clear and provides a great framework to understand why kids are doing some of the things they are. Amy's stories of parenting in the trenches, her vulnerability in learning through their experiences of parenting, gives the grace and encouragement everyday parents need to want to grow without feeling overwhelmed or guilty. The main needs the Olrick's cover in this book are flexible enough to apply to parent's relationships with the kids at any age. This also book provides many opportunities for parents to see their own tendencies in parenting and to balance or seek healing in areas they might need it in. While the Olrick's write from a position of faith and blend the science of child development with their faith, this book is helpful and readable regardless of where you find yourself with respect to faith.

Das ist ein sehr fundiertes und informatives Buch über Bedürfnisse der Kinder (und Erwachsene). Macht sehr nachdenklich, und eröffnet eine wunderbare Perspektive auf ein Leben mit Kind. Für alle Eltern, die Kinder nicht nebenbei großziehen wollen, sondern sie (und sich selbst) auch wahrnehmen.