And so I fell on the moon

Defining definition or something like that

alterian — Tue, 06 May 2014 16:52:43 GMT

Ok so here I go... I happen to see a post where they talked about things like "I'm proud to be black/white/Asian e.t.c (you can find it here) and I felt the need to say my to cent worth of it (or how the saying goes...). What follows is the the comments i posted to them...

As I understand there are to thing going on here, ethnicity (the biology factor, genetic markers) and nationality (the social factor, the sense where one belongs). And when discussing thing like these one should be specific.

With today's globalization it becomes harder and harder to defined nationality which is the main reason of those two to start so many debates. Race/ethnicity are genetic markers that one is born with that will determined how you look like, and the is actually very little one can do for that or cast blame at. One can't help being born to a certain "race".

Take me for example: My ethnicity is mixed since I have ancestry from South America, South Europe and Scandinavian. My nationality have been also mixed since I was born in Sweden but live my first years in Argentina (which is where my parents where born), but the last 25 years I I have live in Sweden. I would define myself as Swedish but every time I'm say it, people look at me and say "yeah but where do you come from?", even though I have a classic Swedish name and and the only thing that's different in me from that traditional Swedish girl is that I'm not a tall, thin, blond and that I speak with a very slight accent that that comes from a mix of speaking Spanish with the family and Värmländska (a Swidish dialect) used with friends while growing up. The funny thing is that when I'm in Argentina and say that I'm Argentinian (both because ancestry and because I have a dual citizenship) they still say , "Yeah but where are you really from?"...

When people say thing like "I'm proud to be ..." (even though the person/s uses generic words such as black, Asian, white, Latino on so on) is because the person fells proud to belong to or feel affinity to a certain group of people.

Sorry for the ramble. I Hope I have made some sense in all of this, just wanted to get it out of my chest...

It is as you said: just because one is one thing doesn't men that one feel affinity with that.

such long time...

alterian — Sun, 05 Jan 2014 05:56:50 GMT

2 years since I last posted... But I've been an avid lurker... =)
update on me... Studying to be a nurse though it's going slowly. Quit my part-time job as a personal caring assistant, and starting to do part time work at the hospital as undersköterska a type of licensed practical nurse and who also can take blood test when needed.

Will try to at least write once a month in here... lets see how that resolution goes...

Why I am as I am, part 1

alterian — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:42:45 GMT

My sense of worth really got changed when I turned 7. Before that I never really put any thought to my weight. But starting first grade changed something, I started comparing myself to the rest of the kids. Looking back at photos from that time I see that I was very normal for my age, but I remember feeling so much bigger than my more skinnier friends. Matters didn't get better when the interest in boys got in picture. The boys I liked, liked my friends and the boys I confessed to always turned me down, and since I wasn't an ugly girl it must be that I was fat ( at least in my mind). I started preferring to do things by myself and turning down invitations from my friends. things got worse since I was the first girl in my class to get menstruation and for my body to start developing. Suddenly I was the tallest girl in my class ( only lasted for a year ) and our teacher had the brilliant idea (not!) to tell the whole class why I had started to skip gym every now and then. Photos from fifth grade and upwards start to show me gaining more and more weight. It is around this time that my parents divorced, but I can't with honesty say if that affected my weight gain. What I do know is that my father have always been fat/obese and his talk of me being like him never did me any good (all though I know he never meant any harm and was never never malicious).

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

Quiting time

alterian — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:14:17 GMT

I salute all of those who work and studies at the same time.

Last february I got fulltime employed as personal caring assistent for an disable girl. In september I began studing to be a RN and I was able to change my work time to be only on the weekends (8 hours on saturdays and 8 hours on sundays).
After working and studing fulltime for half year I'm completly exhausted.

So this past friday i gave notice to work that I'm quiting. I really like studing nursing and I want to have my whole concentration on that.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

alterian — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 21:42:42 GMT

I've just watched the Brittish mobile Kick Off (2011) and I must sat tjat it was à long time sinne I laughed that much.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

My first stepts into becoming a nurse

alterian — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 11:21:30 GMT

ok.. so this week I was accepted for the nurse program at my college. I'm really excited about this... I think it wil suit me better than language teacher would.

Still I must work on not being affected too much by big injuries..

Frosty window decoration

alterian — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 20:01:16 GMT

The only photo I have taken this winter. It was taken on Christmas day and this had appeared on my mom's kitchen window... ^_^

Click on the picture to see it fullview and catch all the pretty details.

The truth about my life

alterian — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 17:29:50 GMT

How can I tell my family the thruth?
They think that for the past 5 years I have been studying and that I will graduate in a year.
How can I tell them that it's all been a lie. That for the past years I have been doing nothing at all? Every year starts the same, with me actually wanting to study and enrolling for courses but after a couple of weeks I just cant drag myself from home to school. I know I should have more discipline, but I'm week.

I hate myself for not having the strenght. But most of all I hate myself for how I'm going to wound my family when I finally tell the truth. I love them. They mean everything to me. And it kills me that, most probably, by this time next year everything will have change. They will still love me, I don't doubt that, but they will most likely never belive or trust me anymore.

At the same time it's good that this is coming to an end, it has obligated me to begin make order in my life, and the firts thing on the list is get a job.

I have an job-interview on monday.

a new year....

alterian — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 17:12:39 GMT

OK so new year has begun....

My new year resolutions...

1 - To get a job

2- to tell my family about my true life

3 - Use that damned orbitrek I bought last year!

No fun-loving resolutions for this year. After 6 years it's time I get myself sorted out...

A new Winter wondeland layout!

alterian — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 17:41:38 GMT

Ok... So I have change my layou.. to a more winter-y one...

it's been forever since I last did so.

I found a layout I liket at gawariel_design [the original] but of course I hade to go and change things... shhh don't let anybody know...
There is still a small error that I cant seem to fix but overall I'm pleased how it turned out.

And for anybody that wonders, it's actually a photo that I took at Våtsjön years ago that is being used now..

I dream if Jeannie

alterian — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 07:51:27 GMT

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here...

But I have been more busy at my icon journal.. I like those 20 in 20 challanges.

Normally I dont post icons here But I just made a batch from the "I dream of Jeannie" show and I simply love them and wanted to share the love...

if your interested you can find them here

And the fat slayer lives to slay another week

alterian — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:19:53 GMT

Had my weight in at WW today and manage to lose some weight even though I'm having that dreaded week of the month...
But I'm very happy with the result; 1,1 kg (2.4lbs).
That means that in 5 weeks I have lost exactly 7 kilos (15.4 lbs). I'm very happy. And I also earned my second gold star, we get them every tree kilos we lose. They don't have any value except to represent our blood, sweat and tears an our journey to a healthier us.

As a little gift for my accomplishment I treated myself to the cinema.
Went to see 2012. Good movie although very "Hollywood" if you know what I mean, everything turns OK in the last second, and there are many of those moments in this movie (at least for the main protagonist). But the graphics are good and I enjoyed the movie overall. I don't regret paying to watch in in the cinema.going to the cinema
Saw a trailer of another one I want to see which is Avatar so I'll put in on the list with New Moon and Sherlock Holmes.

Edit: I had forgotten the last good news I recived today. As of January next year they are lowering my rent with 10% !!! That is very very nice...

the opposite of anorexic

alterian — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:44:19 GMT

To put it lightly an anorexic person doesn't eat and when they look in the mirror, it doesn't matter how thin they are, thinks they are fat.

I was the opposite.
Loved to eat (still do) and no matter how big I got when I looked in the mirror I didn't see myself as fat. Overweight sure, but obese? Never!
The only times I thought I looked obese was when I looked at myself in photos. But have on gotten to be this big it is not without lying to oneself. I was fat in thos pictures because of the clothes I wore, because of the pose I stuck, the lightning wasn't good, "that friend" is just too skinny, and so on and so fort...

How sad is it that the thinnest I remember to be was at 73 kg (160 lbs) and that was when I was 13!!!!
And that was still overweight.

I'm finally starting to loose weight but in a bit more than a month it's Christmas and I must admit I'm scared out of my mind.
This year I'm flying to Argentina to visit my father, who, as I have mention in some other post is obese.
I will be there from 21/12 to 11/1. I know there will be much eating and really, REALLY good food. At best I will maintain my weight (I really want this!!) but I'm scared to gain the weight lost and gain some more.
I know that if I watch what I eat I shouldn't have to much trouble but the problem is that there will be food out 24/7. Breakfast, lunch a dinner will all be big things with many courses and deserts, not to mention the snacks between the meals.

I'm thinking of finding a gym there to workout. But how big of chance is there that one exist that is open most of the time even with all the holiday that exist in this part of the year...

I better stop or I will depress myself more than I already am. It's "that" time of the month for me at zits have appeared all over me as if I'm just entering me teens! YUK!

The Fat Slayer and the Weight Watchers Council

alterian — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:53:35 GMT

I've been to the weight watchers # more times since last time I wrote. The results are:

2nd week: lost 1,9kg = 4,1lbs
3rd week: lost 0,2kg = 0,2lb
4th week (yesterday): 2,0kg = 4,4lbs

In total for four weeks I have lost 5,9kg (13lbs)

Which means my current weight is 88,8kg (195,7lbs) - finally under the 90/200 line!!

I'm most pleased with myself.

The only setback is my training schedule... at most I do 2, 30 minutes workout per week

PS: when I count how much weight I loose I love doing it in lbs, the number is always higher than with kg =)

The prank callers biggest dream!

alterian — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:06:40 GMT

Ha! Just heard in the new about a town here in Sweden that has some..problemes with their phones..

The thing is no matter which phone number you call in the city all of the in habitans phones rings....!

Talk about non-stop ringing! And this has been going on since May!

Finally willing to lose weight!

alterian — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:42:33 GMT

So I haven't written in this journal in a very long time.. more than a year! And I still pay yearly for the account.. so I better start writing or I will kick myself in the but...

This summer I got the biggest chock of my life. I stepped on the scale in the bathroom and it said 97kg!! (thats 214 lbs for those of you who used that). I have never in my life been as fat as I am now. Which scared me since I saw my self slowly becoming my father. I don't know how much he weights but I know he is obese.
Some of you might thing it isn't that much but I'm short 158cm or 5'2" which means I'm at least 40 kilos (88lbs) over weight.

I've been big-boned going on fat all my life but never had the motivation to do something about it. I mentioned my father earlier and I've had big issues with him because every time I would try to lose some weight he would unconsciously drag me back. He would think it was great and then in the next sentence stuck me with him as the fat ones in the family. I know he didn't mean anything bad but to me it was like he was say look at me this is how you will be in the future and nothing you do will ever change. It always broke my heart and my mother had to pick up the pieces and I found the strength some years back and sat him down and talked with him about it. Every now and then it still slips past his lips but I have learned to simply "not hear them".

My mother was the exact opposite of my father. She was never as fat as me but she was overweight and she lost it and she was always pushing me to do the same. During many years I thought she was a pain. Always looking over my shoulder, "should you eat that?","are you sure about that?", "why don't you take a walk?" "when are you going to get serious?" She has always been my best friend, but how I disliked her at those times. I've always know that she did it because she loved me and saw how unhappy I always was with my looks. But it came a time I also had to sit down and talk to her as I did with my father. She could still cook all the healthy food she wanted but to lay off the pressure. When I was ready and had the strength and the conviction to lose weight I would do it on my own.

And at last we have gotten to last week. I found my strength, I found my motivation.
After watching the biggest loser I said to myself; Britt-Marie it is time. It is time for you to change yourself.

So I started The next day I joined the Weight Watchers with a weight of 94,7kg (209lbs).
I bought myself a an Orbitrek Elite cross trainer (I've tried gyms before but always felt really uncomfortable in them) and try to do 30 minutes on it every day.

Yesterday I was at the Weight Watchers again and the scale showed 92,9 I lost 1,8 kilos! Almost 4 lbs.

I'm very, very happy!

It feels like I'm out of touch with myflist...

alterian — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:00:12 GMT

Snagged this one from tamakin, whose I responded to. It's a lot of fun!

"Getting to know you ... more"

1. Name:

2. Birthday:

3. Where do you live:

4: What are you studying/What are you working as:

5. What makes you happy:

6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:

7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:

8. An interesting fact about you:

9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:

10. Favorite place to be:

11. Favorite lyric:

12. Best time of the year:

13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND

1. A film:

2. A book:

3. A song:

4: A band:

FANDOM

1. Favorite Fandom:

2. OTP/OT3:

3. Icon/Fic Journal (so I can join):

PLUS

1. One thing you like about me:

2. Two things you like about yourself:

3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you.

They used to call us champions (wasteland-ficlet)

alterian — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:01:08 GMT

Ok so some time ago I wrote a small ficlet/drabble for the prompt "Champion" at nekid_spike. It's a small background story for my story Wasteland, that only has the prologue and first part written... (you can find it here) hopefully there will be more of these ficlets which will lead me to finally being able to write the whole story...

This haven't been beta'ed but I have reread it a couple of times and run it through a grammar check.
If you find errors please let me know! I would greatly appreciate it, grammar really kicks my butt most of the time...

Title: They used to call us champions
Author: alterian
Pairing: None - but mention of Spike and Angel, plus a surprise.
Raiting: PG
Disclaimer: the characters aren't mine
A/N: Ok so this is a small ficlet of a much, much bigger story, but you don't need to know that story to read this...
I would really apreciate if you would tell me what you think....

We used to work for the light. But what happens when the light dims and starts to cooperate with the dark shadows? Who do we work for when the greater powers work together for a greater cause, the fight against the outside?

We used to rescue people. But is it still rescuing when our days consist of diplomacy, negotiations and making deals? Rescuing is a thing of the past. What we now do is called surviving.

And the innocents, that we used to rescue, have faded too. Everything people used to refuse to acknowledge as anything but nightmares, is nowadays a fact that everyone lives by. Humans versus demons don't exist anymore. Now it's us, all of us together, against the Skydivers, a threat not to a specific species but to all of us that inhabits Earth. The only true innocents that are left are those who are too young to understand of what‘s happening around them.

Champions we used to call ourselves. Champions of the light, rescuing the innocents for the greater good. What was once our title is now a term mostly used by the young. Our past have become stuff of what fairy-tales are made of. Ensouled vampires rescuing damsel’s in distress and helping knights battle against evil.

At this day and age the adults simply refer to us as the Aurelians. We still strive for the greater good. A cause more important than any of the ones we had before. We now work towards reclaiming our home, to reclaim Earth from them.

So when you hear the children talk about the champions of the house of Aurelius, know that they are talking about us. Two ensould vampires and a werewolf. Three individuals who have been among you from the time when space invaders was something children used to play and not something we, today, call reality.

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Movieposters with Cordy, Faith, Oz and Xander

alterian — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:48:07 GMT

2nd post of the movie-day at nekid_spike. This time it's only movie posters starring our favorietes characters!
Click on them to see them better!

Why Cordy? Because it in someway reminded me of when Cordy moved to LA.
All those big dreams but having bad luck in making them becom real...

Ok so it's time for or tough girl Faith to show what she can!
Add th slayer strength one leathal chick!!

Oz! - The neighborhoods loveable werewolf...

I have heard that xander has gone back to bartending, and even think about opening his own place!
Come on in and have a drink!
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Btvs/Ats goes to the movies - 3 wallpapers

alterian — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:32:30 GMT

Some days ago at nekid_spikeall the btvs/ats characters went and became moviestars!!
This first post have 3 wallpapers (pairing: Spike/Buffy, Angel/Faith, Spike/Angel) all are worksafe and there are even icons of the spuffy one!

(800x600)
1280x1024 | widescreen

- -
Shareable - with credit (can be modified)

____

(800x600)

1280x1024 | widescreen

____

(800x600)

1280x1024 | widescreen
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Dawn & Fred - Stephen king style!

alterian — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:13:13 GMT

I made two manips to the "Stephen King" challenge at whedon_art

One that actually won!!!!!

I here by give you Dawn and Fred
(Both are worksafe but beware of blood)

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My family's Tom & Jerry

alterian — Sat, 10 May 2008 17:10:21 GMT

So a lot have been happening these last 2-4 weeks. My grandaunt, Elida, fell and broke her leg (she's 81 years old) so was in the hospital for a week (the had to put in spikes) and after that moved to a nursing home where they found blood clots. That cleared up and now she onlyy suffers from the leg pain and other pains that come from old age.

Her sister, my granmother (86), went into depresion after Elida's fall. These two old ladies have always lived together, in the same building and efter grandpa passed away, in the same home. They moved to Sweden 12-13 years ago and since they can't speak Swedish they alway depend on eachother and the rest for the family for companionship. And when something happens to one of them, the other one is also affected. Though to be honest, there isn't a day that those two don't bicker with eachother. Seriously, we are talking about two person whech the family affectionally calls Tom & Jerry (you know... from the toons). Anyway as I was saying, grandmother went into depresion and suddenly she tells us that her medications has stopped working. So there she went.. to the hospital... and she's still there waiting to transfer to the nursing home.

With all of these problemes it was desided that they would move to a retirement home(?). They Have been living in there own apartement doing their own shopping and so on, but had nurses come in at mornings and evening to help them with their clothes and showers and things which required heavy lifting. But know they are moving. They will still be having their own aprtements in the building but nurses will be around 24/7 should anything happened.

My poor mother is exhausted. Since they don't know the language she must bee there for every doctors appointement + visits everyday so they don't feel isolated + fight with the state for their housing and compensation. Since Kristinehamn don't have a intepreter, though they are legally bound to hire one, my mother took time of her job too keep up with everything. Hopefully by next month things have settled down.

On a brighter note, were are having early summer days here. Yester day I took my bike and went for a ride, a two hours ride. I have been Here in Eskilstuna for two years but don't really know much of the city except the main district. So I turned right and kept going on one of Sweden's national bikeroads until I came to the forest. Passed some viking remaints on the way. Took some pictures that turnes out really good. I'll be showing them in the next couple of days...

All that exercise was good for me and I really enjoyed it. But god does my body ache today....

Earth Day and spring is in the air

alterian — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 15:07:52 GMT

It's Earth Day today! And we're having warm spring days here. Went for a walk yesterday and took this photo. I thought it fitted today perfectly...

Spring is sprouting by ~Alterian on deviant ART

...and on a sidenote I have spent most of today cleaning my kitchen. and Man did it need a cleaning...!

Exercise more; sleep less

alterian — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:49:37 GMT

Isn't exercise suppose to help one sleep better at night? Nowadays whenever I do exercise, I'm wide awake after only 4-5 hours of sleep.
Just like now... I woke up totally refreshed and can go back to sleep. And it's only 02:45 in the morning!

show recomendation: Eli Stone

alterian — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:47:19 GMT

Ok I just had to recomend something. For those who haven't seen the show Eli Stone I highly recomend you do. I woll soon sit down and watch the last(?) episode. I don't remember when the last a new show touched me as much as this one....

For more info on the show go HERE or HERE